Monday, June 29, 2015

WWE Raw 6-29-15

Long recap of last week's Raw led to Seth and the goon squad coming out for a promo. JBL yelled about HASHTAG MONDAY NIGHT ROLLINS! He talks for a while about power. Seth puts over Jamie and then gives them all Apple Watches. Seth sent Kane on a vacation, and he wants to use it to throw animals into a volcano. Seth gave his goons a Cadillac. Show came down while they honked the horn for ages and he's facing Henry, who's a face here. Recap of Show and Ryback brawling last week. Show gets corner punches, Miz is on commentary, and Show KOs Henry. Miz is either on lots of cocaine or he's in give no fucks mode. This meta Scream series ad is bizarre. Ryback gets his match with Miz...maybe. Yup. They had a nothing match and Miz left so Ryback got a countout win.

Alicia vs. Paige - Bellas are heels here. Alicia got the edge before the break, but Paige won with a fluke rollup and Alicia's right shoulder not even being down. Cena's out for the open challenge next. Owens comes out. I hope Owens just kicks him in the balls here. Better yet - we're getting Cesaro-Cena! Love Cesaro hitting Rick Steiner's mid-leapfrog counter powerslam. He gets 2 off the Cesaro deadlift gutwrench. Owens is so great on commentary. Cesaro gets 2 off a slick second rope elbow drop for an ad break.

Cesaro goes for a sharpshooter, but Cena counters that and the swing. Springboard stunner gets 2. Cesaro gets 2 off the VE uppercut. Iffy sharpshooter is turned into a perfect one out of an AA! CESAROPLEX gets 2. Cena counters a crossbody with a facebuster for 2! That was new. OKADA DROPKICK FROM CESARO! Cena's Code Red had a ton of ass-groping, but got 2. Neutralizer hits for 2! A BILLION UPPERCUTS lead to the swing and the sharpshooter! Owens attacks them both! Perfect. In one night, they've remade Cesaro...if they want to.

Dolph and Lana go public...but first, another Seth-Brock recap. Bray talks about being awake. Lucha Dragons are out for a match. PTPs team up with them. Rock-Bo recap. Bo's teaming with the New Day. Swear I've seen this on SD. Loved Titus throwing Bo around, picking him up, letting them tease tagging him in and then throwing him more. Post-break chinlock thing. Great spot where Kalisto was popped up by someone into E, who went for an overhead belly to belly and Kalisto flipped out of it! Love the heels doing that tag in stomp bit. Faces win thanks to Titus being big and strong.

Lana and Dolph "go public" tonight. Perhaps they're going steady. Recap of Rusev and Summer. Dolph goes "um" a bunch. Well, I'm already tired of Dolph saying things. This is quite a bit worse than Ted Jr and Maryse - at that had no real ceiling to it. Lana was a legit main event-level act for a bit and now she feels like she's a Superstars-level act. She talks about how Rusev made her dress...and she's still dressing like that. Also, Lana looks more manly and tough than Dolph. JBL actively worrying about Rusev's physical health here. So Dolph is the logical heel, right? He threatens a crippled man and insults him. Summer and Lana get into a bad catfight.

Dean with a neck five o clock shadow adds to the sleaze. Roman comes in off-screen. I like the Rollins vs. Lesnar poster in the background. Roman was horrible here, but added some amusing homoerotic subtext to this by saying he wanted to pull some toys out with Dean. Neville is now being called the closest thing WWE has to a comic book character. IN WHAT WAY IS NEVILLE A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER!? Comic characters have depth. So far, we know that Neville's name is Neville and he does flips.

Cole talked about a Facebook exclusive promo from Sheamus leading to this match. Sheamus eats a running rana before a break, but gets the Finlay roll after it. Neville ducks a brogue into a cradle, but Sheamus kicks out and kicks his head off. Good little match here, but it never really got going. Hogan SI cover recreation shoot recap. SWAGGER VS. BARRETT! Swagger is dressed like Owen in '99 with the caution tape color scheme and jobs to the elbow.

Roman's out followed by Dean. Heels come out with the goons in the new car, and Jamie honking the horn some more. Roman destroys a kendo stick over Joey's back. Trifecta of Superman punches! Bray comes in and attacks with a uranage on the announce table. Time for Dean to job. Dean eats a chokeslam and pedigree to lose, but Roman takes a beating too and some hope. Running buckle bomb through the table to Reigns, and you could see Jamie going down clutching his ribs during that. Pedigree hits and the champ FINALLY stands tall. Bray comes down to ensure the show never ends and hits Sister Abigail.

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TNA Slammiversary 2015

Tenay is joining Pope and Josh on commentary. DJZ faces Manik and Uno in an X Title 3-way. Sloppy match here, with Uno nearly dropping DJZ on his head doing...something like a reverse rack driver in the corner. German into a buckle leads to a springboard something or other off the ropes for a win for Uno. Robbie cuts a weird chicken promo for his match against Jessie "The Man" Godderz and his new furry robe. After several minutes of whatever, Robbie wins with a scorpion death drop. Fat Hardy cuts a promo about being exciting to be here. Okay then. Morgan vs. Bram. Fuck this. Bram wins with the Brighter Side of Suffering on chairs. Riveting.

 Tyrus and EC3 talk to JB. Aries and Davey go at it to make a stip for a match already taped. Good going through the motions match here with Aries winning via distraction schoolboy. Dollhouse vs. Brooke and Kong. Taryn's gear is now lingerie - nice. Kong actually did some stuff here, including a cross body block. Magnus says that he doesn't hate James, he LOVES HIS FAMILY and he loves his family more than he hates Storm. Oh, and they're both leaving. They had a walk and brawl with a crazy spot.

Magnus put Storm on a table and then flew through the air and missed the elbow on the floor. Magnus survive a billion superkicks. Horrible bump for Storm onto a barricade bridge against some chairs. Double beer bottle bash results in Storm winning by falling. Production went all wonky with them losing audio. Tyrus and EC3 faces Lashley and Anderson, resulting in them talking about OVW and WWE ECW. Tyrus nearly dropped Lashley on his head on a suplex. Tyrus jiggles like Homer setting up the spike. EC3 sneaks in, gets his finisher and wins. EC3 grabs a replica from a fan and holds it up - TNA's replicas look fantastic.

 JB, Jeff, and Karen's sideboob cut a nice promo backstage. They played this up like a retirement match, and boy would that title just being the Global title again have more meaning here - or they'll just name it that again. Whatever. They didn't bother releathering the TV Title, so it's got that weird nasty rust brown look to it. Jeff beats up EY to a "you still got it" chant. Roode schoolboys Jeff to get a shot to climb. Kryptonite Krunch tower of doom hits. PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON ONTO A LADDER BRIDGE TO JEFF. Jesus.
Jeff sneaks in and wins the match while Josh and Pope talk about WHAT THIS MEANS FOR TNA. Well, it's been a nothing title since literally day one. In the KOTM form, it's been around for one day, so I'm sure the company will least in the sense this isn't hurting any part of the company in any way. I liked Jeff celebrating with his family in the ring - that was a good moment for him after so many years of turmoil between losing his first wife, gaining Karen, losing TNA, and then creating GFW.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

WWE SD 6-25-15

A five minute long recap of Raw airs summing up Brock and Seth. Jey's out on commentary. Seth and Kane and Mercury came out and talked. Ryback was reprimanded for attacking Show, so he came out to talk. Sheamus and Dolph had every match they've ever had, but with a slightly new finish - Dolph ate the kick on the top rope. Alicia beat Naomi, who I think was a face here. Bo and New Day clapped, but Bo was off.

Kane vs. Ryback is up, but Show destroys Ryback first. Ryback comes back, but eats a superkick to the chest for a DQ. TE recap. PTPs and the Lucha Dragons face New Day and Bo. Kalisto flipped around a ton, Sin Cara dove to the floor, and a Kalisto springboard 450 won. Seth and Dean had a pretty fun match, but cheating allowed Seth to win with a Pedigree.

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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

TNA Impact 6-24-15 Rundown

What a crazy newsworthy day for TNA. Sadly, it didn't result in much build for the PPV. Jeff's return was both surprising in nature, but unspririsng given the GFW/TNA mergery rumors that have been going on for the last couple days. Heels vs. Wolves was really good, but nothing amazing. Ditto everything else. Uno won the green X Title...good for him. There wasn't much to the Angle-Hardy match, and Jeff Jarrett's in a king of the mountain match for some sort of goal to close out his TNA career.

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ROH 6-24-15


Nigel is out for commentary tonight - yay! "Mr. ROH" Roderick Strong is out to face SHINSUKE NAKAMURA! Lots of chinlock variants, Strong gets an Olympic slam for 2. APRON KNEE BY NAKAMURA! They fight to the floor and the roaming lights actually see them for an ad break. Mid-ring forearm exchange hits before a big bow and arrow punch from Swagsuke hits and takes Roddy down. Roddy gets a series of running knees in the corner and a double knee backbreaker for a 2.5! Bodyscissors sleeper is locked onto Roddy! Diving knee off the second rope by Nakamura, but he can't cover! Double knee gutbuster hits as does the Strong Hold, but Nak gets the ropes. SICK KICK HITS FOR A 2.9! Forearms lead to a tossing suplex countered into a running knee for 1! Strong gets one of his own, but Nakamura responds with a big knee for the win!

Gedo is out to face Elgin. They all but tell you that Elgin's out to impress Gedo here to get a spot in New Japan, but make it work nicely. Gedo HAS BEEN WRESTLING since 1989 and looks younger than Elgin. Elgin powers out of a go-behind and eats punches to the nose. Elgin gets an inside-out delayed suplex. Somersault senton misses for Elgin. Elgin wins with the powerbomb. The Bullet Club teams up to face Okada and RPG Vice!


Love Nigel asking what he can get for $10,000 in Okada bucks in Rappongi. AJ and Okada start things off quickly and then RPG Vice and the Bucks go even faster. Baretta takes a billion years to do something on the apron, and he rightfully eats a superkick for being a moron. Nice corner kick counter by Trent into a double stomp. Rocky tags in and runs wild. Rocky no-sells a superkick and responds with a big lariat! Doc yells about them CHANGING THE BUSINESS! Okada and AJ are in and AJ eats the Alabama slam setup-neckbreaker. SUPERKICK BY NICK! Slingshot gutbuster into a springboard dropkick by RPG Vice!
DOOMSDAY DEVICE SHINING WIZARD ON THE FLOOR OFF THE APRON TO MATT! Bloody Sunday to Okada! Okada spins out of a sunset flip attempt INTO THE TOMBSTONE!  AJ rolls through a Rainmaker and a blind tag leads to Nick coming in after AJ eats the top rope dropkick. Outside-in facebuster leads to the moonsault to the floor. More Bang is avoided by a blind tag and a super German!

Okada can't get the Rainmaker on Matt, but AJ gets the springboard elbow. Crazy exchange where Trent's driver is countered by a superkick and Rocky eats a superkick coming off the top. AJ flips through the superkick to go for the Clash, but Okada dropkicks him! Everyone fights, AND THE FACES EAT SUPERKICKS! Okada fights all three with forearms, but we get more superkicks! Triple team inverted tombstone INTO THE MELTZER DRIVER, SUPERKICKS, AND A STYLES CLASH FOR THE WIN. This was so so so so so much fun. Love Corino going 1-2-SWEET!


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Monday, June 22, 2015

Raw 6-22-15

WAHOO! BROCK IS STARTING THE SHOW! Brock's intro is interrupted by clips of Seth and HHH talking last week, and then Brock's own intro... Heyman introduces fans who might've missed out a refresher course for Brock kicking ass. This is seriously the second recap in six minutes. Heyman says that WWE doesn't want Brock's money - just an apology. Brock has to apologize to Cole and JBL, and if he doesn't, he won't get his title shot. So then why show the graphic for the match?


JBL looking scared shitless shaking Brock's hand was great. Brock gave him a noogie. Someone was paid money to come up with "beast for business". Heyman said that Seth's trip to suplex city has been paid for by BROCK LESNAR! Roman faces Sheamus tonight because Sheamus beat him on SD. DEAN AMBROSE FACES KANE NEXT!Damn that Kane, throwing Dean into steel steps that can take over 1,000 pounds of pressure! Kane's on offense after the break. Whew! Dean runs wild with punches and chops. Diving lariat off the apron for Dean. Seth comes down in new black and silver gear, and Kane wins with a chokeslam. God, could these announcers just talk instead of yelling everything? Cena-Owens II recap. JOHN CENA RETURNS tonight. But first, Seth and Kane have a chat. Kane doesn't buy Seth's crap.

Recap of Roman-Bray from MITB, Raw, and SD. Good singing voice on Bray. I still don't care about any of this, but I wouldn't mind seeing him on Lip Sync Battle. PTPs are out for a match with some team next. Titus Dad of the Year recap video! Titus slammed Gut. Skinny was tossed around like a ragdoll. D-Young won with a terrible discus elbow and double knee gutbuster. Roman and Sheamus do some stuff for an ad break. I predict chinlock when we return.

YES! Cripes, the bump off that apron dropkick lariat counter! Sheamus's left shoulder is beaten to death. He's got a nasty bruise there, and a series of bruises on his back. Multiple Irish Curses into rope-bound forearms for Sheamus. Roman gets some elbows and...then hurts himself with a back suplex. Bad planning there. Bray has a tea party, but they don't show who it's with - so everyone thinks it's Roman's daughter. See - if Roman was patient and just waited the two seconds for the camera guy to show the empty rocking chair, he wouldn't have lost that match.

Replay of this idiocy. Detective Roman should probably open some doors. Or not - he found Bray's area, and it just has Bray singing in a loop and photos of Roman with the eyes and mouths cut out. Okay then. Seth meets with his former goons, who are around...why now? J and J reject Seth. Riveting. Neville's out for whatever.  These Today clips are even worse than Raw's scripted deals. "What Byron, what!? Wow. Cole is pissed at Byron for something. Kofi's wacky clap is GIF-worthy. Xavier now has a camera and takes shots of Kofi on offense! PTPs come out to even the odds for Neville for a break, but the ref tosses out the PTPs and then finally doing the same for E and Woods. High kick> Red Arrow. Yes, all of that bullshit was really needed for a Neville vs. Kofi Kingston match. Recap of Owens attacking MGK.

RYACK FACES MARK HENRY TONIGHT! Great ad for THE BEAT IN THE EAST! COMING SOON JOHN CENA AND CRITICS ARE TALKING ABOUT MR. ROBOT. Barrett is facing Ryder in his combo Majors Bros/Edgehead/Broski gear. Elbow up top wins. The 2015 King of the Ring is now OFFICIALLY better than Zack Ryder. And here we all thought the guy was doomed. Nice clips of a Brock vs. Seth interview. Not that I'd like to see the whole thing instead of Henry vs. Ryback or Barrett vs. Ryder, but that might've been a more productive use of a global TV deal given that they're paying Brock seven figures and would theoretically like to make a return on that investment.

This Cena deal is so great - makes the US Title seem important and makes you also want a Cena World Title match/run again at some point too. Cena yammers on for a while about the US Title being a symbol of excellence. Words words words. Somehow, Cena is now the underdog in this match. Owens comes out and says he's been called out of shape by some and a dirtbag by Cena, but he beat Cena a month ago and left him laying at MITB. Owens cut a promo in French to ensure Cena got cheered- glorious! JBL talks about these two have put two classics together...why? Steph and HHH put over Owens and Seth says that he hurt his family in the Authority. HHH cuts a great promo on/for Seth about apologizing to them.

Recap of Paige's awful stuff last week with the Bellas. Bellas are out with Alicia to face...some team who we aren't shown due to the clip. Naomi and Tamina...woo boy will this be a thing. I think they muted the ring mic for a while because there was no audio for bumps for a bit. Nikki gets a big babyface comeback, despite being a heel. Rear View to Brie, but Nikki tosses Tamina into Naomi's ass. Rack Attack gets the win. Terminator: Weird Spelling ad with Roman stuff in there too.

Show's out for commentary on Ryback-Henry. Miz vs. Show vs. Ryback is announced for the PPV. WHY IS MIZ GETTING A TITLE SHOT NOW!? They do some stuff until a break while Show ponders how Miz got a title shot. Ryback gets a meathook and wins with a splash. Riveting. Henry and Show argued, and since they're good, this was pretty interesting. And then Show just left. Tough Enough hype. JoJo said words. To Ryback. Who tried to get Flyback over. Ryback said his parents haven't spoken in 15 years, but him winning this title got them together. Damn - they're doing a great job with this, and it's a pleasant surprise. Show comes in and they brawl. I hope Miz just comes in here and gets in like one sissy kick and runs away. Nope - Show gets tossed into pipes.

Ryback-Show recap. Dolph, the living Reading Rainbow, is out for a match with someone already in the ring. Adam Rose - who got one second of screentime is the victim. Byron calls Dolph and Lana Zack and Kelly. Lana looks great with toned-down makeup. Superkick gets the win. Rusev threw his crutches in anger and fell on his ass, but Summer gave him one. Boy has he fallen. Goons talked backstage while HHH talked more.

Seth comes out and wants to apologize to everyone he's wronged one by one. And thank God, they all get intros. Goons come out with Kane. Beiber chant. Seth tells Kane he gets better with age. Brock comes to save us! Seth's goons leave. Maybe Dalton Castle's boys can help Seth. Brock takes Kane down! Brock massacres J and J! JBL calls Brock the Ultimate Fighting Machine! Seth goes to suplex city! GLORIOUS German for the third time with a deadlift and a flip sell! Kane saves Seth and shoves Brock with a choke and hits a chokeslam. GERMAN TO KANE! Kane clips the knee to prevent another F5! They attack the knee with the post and a chair. They attack for seemingly decades. Awful Pedigree to Brock ends things. Well, they needed to make you think that Seth could beat Brock - and they did that tonight.

Friday, June 19, 2015

WWE SD 6-18-15

Generic intro brings us to Sheamus saying words. Dean comes out, then Kane makes Sheamus and Kane vs. Dean. Roman comes in for a DQ after a few minutes of stuff. Roman said he doesn't run, and Bray's better find him before Roman finds him. Brie beats Paige thanks to Alicia Fox, who I think is a heel now after I think being a face for some reason.

Kevin Owens doesn't care about those who were upset about him not giving Dolph a title match, and since he won, that shouldn't matter. He feels like people should earn title match against him - and there won't be an NXT Title challenge tonight. Cesaro talks about Owens being all Talk Owens Talk, and wanting a fight.

Dolph and his reading partner Lana came down. Clearly all that time spent reading has paid off since Megadeth is spelled properly on his vest. He beat Bo, and Rusev was upset over them kissing. Neville and the PTPs beat the New Day in a nothing match. Seth comes out and talks for a bit about facing Brock. Roman and Dean talk about Bray, and Roman needs to go home to his girl.

Cesaro vs. Owens ruled. I love Cesaro getting a big lariat and now wearing an arm sleeve. He got a suicide dive, but did a bit of a flip there that could've gone badly. Springboard uppercut is back! Alpamare Waterslide hits for 2. Pop-up powerbomb hits for the win. This was short-ish, but easily the best SD match in a while. Dusty tribute. Kane and Sheamus vs. Reigns and Ambrose was a perfectly fine little match until Bray sang and Sheamus kicked Roman's head off. Shockingly, none of this makes Roman seem like THE MAN.