Hardys-EC3 stuff sucked at the beginning and then the ERIC YOUNG THE BADASS video didn't exactly help matters. EY-Melendez sucked. Uno did what he does best - have a match that made no waves or memorable impression on the audience while retaining a title no one cares about. Tag title match wasn't much - although everything with Manik was good. Brooke vs. Velvet was okay, I guess. Lots of Brooke's ass. Can't go wrong with the cheesecake video either, and Rebel joining the Dollhouse is a good move. She still gets to be on TV, and Crazzy Steve doesn't.
The main event talking segment was something else. We got Dixie Carter giving a lecture on running a successful business, Jeff Jarrett saying that hard work made TNA successful in the past (but not the present), DETECTIVE DREW GALLOWAY using his criminology degree to logically solve a case in pro wrestling, and then the GFW roster beating down TNA's roster of goobers to close the show.
UP NEXT - ONE OF THESE TWO THINGS.
The T&A of TNA
Monday, August 24, 2015
Bo's out. I Bo-lieve that he's doomed. Bo eats 4 Germans! Brock leaves, but Heyman asks for one more and gets it. Heyman wants an F5 as a personal favor and gets it - and Heyman even does Bo-Lieve! New peak of Bo's career. Team PCB will be on MizTV...revolution...NEW DAY IS NEXT! They face the Dragons. NEW DAY CAME OUT AND XAVIER HAS A TROMBONE and they're all singing. This is glorious. MID-MATCH TROMBONE! Xavier is amazing. Kalisto recovers from botching a Code Red. XAVIER PLAYS TAPS DURING THEIR FINISH. Billion star match! DUDLEYS! Bet Bubba wishes he kept himself in better shape this year. The Dudleys run wild and Xavier eats a 3D through the table - so the division just got a big legendary team in it. Good.
WWE/Cena hype video for Cena's Make a Wish stuff this weekend. This was pretty awesome. THE STATUE REVEAL IS BACKSTAGE!? Ugh. And the US Title looks awful. Ah well - still fun. BIG DOG TIME.Things go fast and furious for a bit until a break. After it, the Wyatts and in control. TOPE CON HILO FROM HARPER! Roman just used Becky's finisher as a transitional move. This Boo guy is very over now. Harper gets a superkick and JBL calls it a superkick party. Bucks better trademark that quick. Lights go out and a new Wyatt debuts. It's Braun Stowman - who has only done a few NXT matches - BUT HE'S HUGE! It only took two years, but Bray the evil cult leader convinced A THIRD PERSON to join him.
Not much beyond bland wrestling and bad commentary - also, a Blue Pants chant. Then the fan just starts to chant for themselves. After a lot of nothing, Team Bella wins for some 50/50 booking. Giant wacky 8-man tag later. Barrett and Stardust come out, but STARDUST ATTACKS BARRETT. THE JOBBER POWERS EXPLODE! A big Cody chant comes out...so of course, we just get Neville, who beats up Stardust. Stewart's out next. Dudley return recap - they'll be on SD.
Jon Stewart is out, and he turned on Cena to retain Flair's record. Then Flair comes out and says now before Cena comes down. John Cena is dressed like a giant bottle of orange juice - it's kinda hard to take him seriously. So Cena's okay with losing the US Title and not winning the WWE Title...unreal. NOW The Authority is back to being just about best for business? Weren't they just about the fans last week? Stewart ate an AA and his pants fell down, so we got some plumber's crack.
Dolph in long gear!? Wacky 8-man tag is up. They did some moves until a break, then Show talked tons of shit while doing moves. Irish curse to Dolph for another break. UPPERCUT TRAIN TO OWENS and Rusev eats the swing! Great exchange between Ryback and Owens with some forearms - they should do an IC program. Show accidentally punches Sheamus and it sends him into an RKO so Orton could get his win back. The heels bully Big Show, attack him and then THE FACES ATTACK HIM with a superkick and Ryback/Cesaro press into an RKO. Sloppy one though. They show the Taker-Brock finish, but pixellate the finger.
Bray cuts a promo with his family. Braun keeps his name. Steph and HHH meet with Cena. STEPH TALKING ABOUT STEALING SOMEONE'S SPOTLIGHT. Oh the comedy. The statue is taken to the ring and at nearly 11, the Authority comes down. Steph says that it's a big night - AND SHE'LL GET IN TROUBLE, but Steph of course takes the attention away from THE CHAMPION AND THE TOP ANGLE IN THE COMPANY to wish her father a happy birthday. Everyone sings happy birthday to Vince horribly AND HHH rambles about the trouble they'll get into. Seth came down to ramble a bit. The veil goes up and IT'S STING! Sting has de-aged a decade facially since WM - awesome! He's moving around great and dominates Seth. Sting holds the WWE Title high - I wouldn't mind him getting the U.S. Title.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Kickoff has a fun skit with Jon Stewart and Cena and some generic talking amid an awesome Taker-Brock video. They show the most pandering Cena in NYC video humanly possible to TRY and get him cheered. HHH and Steph are now, in storyline, the parental figures Seth whose approval Seth needs to be validated. Because of course they are. We see Stephanie brag about how WWE is all about NYC and how good a company they are and get some charity stuff. DON'T FORGET HOW AMAZING WWE IS AND DON'T FORGET TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING WWE DOES FOR YOU! Then Owens-Cesaro got hyped with a great bit where Booker says it could go anywhere, so Owens was pissed and says YOU DIG THAT!?
Stewart looks like he just rolled out of bed after binging on early '80s mid-card yelling promos. The WWE Performers are here to respect their audience! So then Taker is just another actor then. Great. Did they give this show a 4 hour window so Mick could take 1 to come down? Mick's out in sweats and actually moving reasonably well. Could they please just show Liger-Breeze instead of this horrid skit? That actually got a show starting off on a fun note. THIS! SKIT SUCKS! They talk about Taker-Foley in the cell. Boy, just imagine how horrible Taker-Mankind would've been if JR said that "this is a great performance!" And then this just ended.
The opening video was beautiful, but focused on just telling "the stories". Orton vs. Sheamus is the opener - so maybe Sheamus is winning the title to close the show. Sheamus takes a break from fighting to tell the fans they look stupid. He eats a back suplex on the table for that. Sheamus takes him down and gets 2 off a flying knee. HOW YOU DOIN!? So Enzo will be brought to Raw to job to Sheamus in a squash. Ole chants - thank God Sami's hurt. Exploder over the top! Wow - crazy bump there. Sheamus busts out the Edgecutator, called the cloverleaf. Outside-in shoulderblock leads to an RKO, but he goes to the floor. Brogue kick hits into the corner and he nails a second one for the win!
Rusev vs. Dolph recap sets upt he match and Lana has a new look - a bra with a small faded denim skirt and jacket. Lana now looks like mall trash. JBL buries Dolph for being small, leading to Cole burying JBL for losing a ton to Rey and being a former WWE and World champ. Well, returning to WWE wouldn't be the worst thing for Rey now. Slick press slam from Rusev into a DDT counter by Dolph gets 2. Buffering. Saito suplex from Rusev leads to a somersault senton for 2 from Rusev! Sleeper locked in on Rusev, but he gets the ropes and...the ref doesn't break. Rusev flapjack leads to the superkick. Accolade is interrupted by Lana distracting him by attacking HOT SUMMER. Superkick sends Rusev into the table, but we they both get counted out. Well, that sucked. Between Summer in the dress and Lana in Dolph's getup, the women's revolution appears to have exploded in both an '80s boardroom and low-rent strip mall.
Wacky comic ad for the Arrow tag. Just what Barrett needed - gear that makes him look like Meat. Neville's got new maroon and black gear while Amell's in a black leather hoodie and black shorts. Within a couple of minutes, we already get the Amell-Stardust confrontation. Amell got an enzuiguri and Neville ran wild. Amell does a crossbody onto the pile off the top and the Red Arrow hits Barrett to...get a win that isn't very satisfying. Good showing for Amell though. Summerslam week video airs again.
Brock-Taker hype vid airs and Brock is out first. Taker gets a big light show for his intro. Brock jumps Taker, who fights back and sends Brock ass over teakettle with a lariat. Brock gets a takedown, but Taker fights back with rabbit punches off his back. Taker gets sent to Suplex City via a belly to belly. GERMAN WITH A FLIP. SUPLEX CITY BITCH! Taker ducks down to send Brock into the buckle to avoid another one. Taker hits the apron legdrop - this is so much better than their WM match.
ANOTHER GERMAN TO TAKER. THEN ANOTHER! Fucking hell - F5 THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! Brock tells him he'll kill him and Taker repeats the "you'll have to" line, kicks him, chokeslams him, but only gets 2 off the tombstone! BROCK SITS UP AND LAUGHS, SO DOES TAKER! Punchfest! This is amazing! Corner Kimura leads to a Last Ride for 2! Second F5 HITS FOR 2. Third F5 hits, but it doesn't get the win this time!
Kickoff screens -