Wednesday, October 22, 2014

TNA Impact 10-22-14

Today's been pretty rocking - got a review done way ahead of schedule and I've been up all day for the first time in a while. On the downside, my hard drive with 4-ish years of wrestling show screens is all wonky. I first noticed it trying to save the Figure Four Daily with Jimmy Jacobs, but it spread to everything. I might be able to fix it fairly simply though as the drive is still recognized. I had a lot of them backed up to DVDs at one point - so between that and imagebam, I might have 80% or so of things saved. Beyond that, I won't miss anything beyond my Pete and Pete stuff, which is also largely backed up on DVDs too. Cops before the show has a guy getting arrested for child molestation, getting into a fight, pissing and shitting himself, biting a cop, and breaking another one's nose. This STARTS the show. The second story has a guy getting stabbed after a guy grabs his kid, and he wanders into a fast food joint to get some help. Jesus, this guy's bleeding a ton. Thankfully, the kid is fine.

The opening video focuses on Roode's inner monologue as he heads towards ONE MORE MATCH with Lashley. A goofy bullshit Wolves video was also in here. Matt's out to call someone out as his partner. Why wouldn't he team with Jeff? Why doesn't this thing have brackets? Tenay says he should pick Jeff and he does. Why bother doing this? DJZ's out first followed by Jesse - I'm sensing a filler-filled show here. Tenay plugged The Amazing Race, and with Dixie apparently having a "shocking" network in talks, I could see it being CBS. They briefly mentioned Lashley being on Friday's Bellator show. If Lashley wins and does well in the ratings, I could see Spike making another play for them just to keep things civil. Until Dixie actually announces that new deal, I figure anything's possible. Tenay's plugging the Hardy and Willow bundles. Neither he or Taz are actually calling the match itself. Nice double whip from the Hardys into the buckle leading to a double back suplex to Jesse. Roode-Lashley is next Wednesday - is that the finale? I don't remember any tapings past Roode winning. Tenay plugged the Bro Mans being kings of reality TV, completely puzzling Taz who had NO EARTHLY IDEA WHAT TENAY WAS TALKING ABOUT. They might've called two moves this whole match. Hardy gets 2 off the legdrop. Jeff swantons Jesse and Matt covers for the win. Far too much of this was bewildering. We got replays of that and they hyped up the Roode-Lashley contract signing.

They pushed Hardy and Willow bundles in the ShopTNA ad. Bram and his Seth Rollins-level generic theme came out. Bram likes A SOUND, A SOUND OF SOMETHING HITTIN FLESH and he's more than Magnus's friend - HE'S THE NEW KING OF HARDCORE! And he's coming for DEVON! Well, might as well bring back the TV Title or something. Have them all fight for it and rename it the extreme title. Bram talked about everyone knowing who he is a few too many times. I YAM BRAM! Devon's out to fight. Oh God. They punched, kicked, and choked. Goons came out and then Kurt came out to tell security to break it up. They did. He made Devon-Bram in a hardcore match - great, just what we needed. Ditto BRITTANY ACTING with Shaw. She's orange and in bright neon green - not the greatest look. Show's only 25 minutes in and it's dragging badly.

For some reason, this brawl isn't next. Instead, it's Low-Ki - I'm fine with that. He's in a tag team now for the tourney. He's got a Gracie JJ patch on his jacket now, and he's teaming with Joe. Shaw's out shirtless again with his weird-looking cover-up tattoos. They're really sloppy with some parts that look Sharpied in. He picks Gunner as his partner, and I don't see this going well for the team or as a match. Gunner cut an intense promo befitting MISTER INTENSITY THE MODERN DAY VIKING THE MDV about teaming with Shaw. Joe machine-gun punches Shaw in the corner. Gunner and Ki came in for a chop battle. Gunner hit a nice diving lariat/Vader bodyblock combo. Brittany's out chatting with Shaw on the apron. She's angry because...he's fighting for a title shot I guess. Gunner yells at Brittany for being down there, and he leaps into a kick. Joe came in and kicked Gunner's ass too. Gunner does HHH's facebuster as a calf branding. Brittany grabs Gunner's leg, Low-Ki hits the cartwheel kick, and Joe taps him out. This was a clusterfuck in so many ways. I do not mind Brittany's yoga pants. She and Gunner talk, Shaw hits Gunner in the back with a chair over and over. Hopefully TNA doesn't have a you break it, you buy it policy. They make out rolling all over Gunner - well, that's a new twist on the catfight spot. EC3 quoted "In the Air Tonight", so I already love his match in the tag tourney before it happens.

Lashley's asked about the Roode deal, and MVP talks for him - he throws King a softball, but he has no idea what to say. King and MVP enter the tag tourney so the whole crew can have some gold. Rebel's ass is out to face Love, but Havok's out instead. Punch, legdrop, chokeslam. Gail returns in street gear to fight Havok. Big beal on the ramp to Gail - why take that bump now? Gail gets up and fights, so again, why take it? Two people chant "let them fight", they do. Devon-Bram is next after the break. Boy what an hour one main event.

 In a far better move, they went with a Roode video package talking about his journey to the title. Treating it seriously, even in the state TNA is in, makes the World title seem so much more important than it does in WWE. Kurt says he's not going to have a contract signing just for the sake of it - he'll have a BIG announcement for it to raise the stakes. Bram's out first, followed by Devon. They punch, and kick and bonk and smash and hit, it's the Devon and Brammy Show! Devon gets some water and spits it at Bram - he's hardcore, he's hardcore! Cans, lids, and chairs oh my! Trash canchairto with the chair, and the chairs are all airy, so he might've wound up swinging it a bit harder. Bram bonked him with can lids. I think I had this match all the time in SmackDown: Shut Your Mouth. Devon ballshot sets up a corner can toss. Trash can to the balls sets up a headbutt off the top to the balls, but Magnus canes him. Bram hits him with Mr. Turnbuckle and Bram wins. Anderson chats with Melendez, and he wants him to be his partner against MVP and King. Chris thankfully reminds everyone of what they did to him. Melendez looked 45 with this backstage lighting.

Anderson came out and introduced himself and SAAARRRGGEEE! Anderson and King go at it for a bit, leading to MVP and Chris going at it a bit on the apron. MVP goes for the flying nothing, but catches the foot and then misses an elbow. King's in followed by Sarge. He runs wild and gets a Perfectplex for 2. His leg can't go down, so it's not a smart move for him. It's still amazing to see what he can do, and King gets a distraction schoolboy for the win. EY meets with Spud, and Spud says he has no job - so why is he here, why did EC3 challenge him, and how is EY able to be his partner?  Tito-Bonnar ad is okay.

Wolves chit-chat and them Storm whistles and calls Davey over to him. Storm's dark brown leather jacket looks awesome. Storm wants Manik to cut a promo on how great the Revolution is, and they cut away. TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT is EC3 and Tyrus against Spud and EY. Holy God. Okay, so Spud apparently isn't EY's partner. Nope, he is. Tenay is baffled by this as well, so yeah this is a bit too goofy. EC3 brought up the I'M WITH SPUD MOVEMENT. EC3 added "you wish you could" to the "You Can't Wrestle" bit. The heat machine went crazy at EC3. Spud came out finally to wrestle. After all of this bullshit, they went to a break. Fuck this show.

Spud's black, neon green, and silver getup is amusing. EC3 tags out to Tyrus. Spud wants to tag out, but EY slaps the buckle to fire him up. Spud fires at Tyrus with leg kicks and forearms! Sternum headbutt hurts him. Big heart punch from Tyrus - while it was taped a while ago, this was a fine tribute to Ox Baker! Tenay did some voice over citing that and plugged his Escape From New York role. Tyrus hit the Big Ending to counter Spud's sleeper. Spud bumps halfway across the ring for the SHEE-YA suplex. Corner avalanche misses and gives Spud some time. Tyrus just slams him down and steps on his hand to tag EC3 in. I love EC3 being a chickenshit against Spud - and a hurt Spud at that. EY gets a tag and hits the flying elbow for 2. EY dives on them. EY holds up the heels for a flip dive off the top! Tyrus gets the goozle slam off of Spud flying into his arms due to EY being knocked into the ropes by EC3, who tags in to get the win. Spud shined brightly here as did Tyrus all things considered. First round is over so Tenay recaps it verbally - no visual brackets though. Contract signing is next.

Lashley-Roode is next week, EC3 and Tyrus face the Hardys, and Joe/Ki face MVP and King. Kurt came out to announce that he's got a stip neither Roode nor Lashley know about. Roode's out in a nice jacket, jeans, and a business casual shirt. Lashley's out in a nice suit wearing the title as a belt. MVP talks a bit of smack and then Kurt asks if either side has anything to say. Bobby says all he loves in wrestling, while Bobby's split between wrestling and MMA. Roode cut a damn good promo about fighting Lashley with the determination that will put the title around his waist. MVP said Lashley would destroy anyone in a wrestling ring, an MMA cage, a street fight, or even on the moon! All MVP does is point him to the ring and the opponent's bell gets rung! This is by far the best overall thing that could've happened for either MVP or Lashley as Lashley's stock really went up with this run, while MVP's got a solid run as both a manager had has been able to do some good work in the ring too. Angle says he'll add a special ref. MVP says EY's gonna be the ref, and Kurt says he's wrong - the ref will be HIM! Roode signs it and Lashley goes away from his crew to sign too. A couple of clips are shown from the match, but nothing that spoils anything. Good closing angle, bad show overall.

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Monday, October 20, 2014

WCW Halloween Havoc 1991 pt1

Since the Pro Wrestling Torch site has a new Wayback Playback show with Jim Valley and Pat McNeill where they watch shows in a few parts and do alternate commentary, I've decided I'll watch the shows and write alongside them. The only thing I don't like about this is it is split into three parts spread across a couple of weeks, so actually watching the shows in a single sitting isn't done by either them or the viewers/listeners, and the flow is all messed up. I'll give it a shot for tonight since it's only an hour and I'm in the mood for something that isn't Raw.

In an annoying bit, the show starts off just fine, then immediately starts and restarts for an ad. And it happened again. What in the fuck. It gets to Simmons's face on the tombstone and ends. All right, this is a failure on the Xbox One, so I'll try it on the PS4 where it defaults to 1080i and thus makes getting good screens much harder than the 720p max output I get on my Xbox One. Plus, the PS4's UI doesn't leave the screen for quite some time, so I can't get any good shots of the silly opening. Tony has a peach-colored bowtie on. Jack and Abby are out in a large car and they joke about it having to be the biggest car he ever rented. DDP's out with Hall, who has an awesome shirt on. Barry's out in a fairly old Benz by this point. The Enforcers jump him and he's saved late by Dustin. Dustin drives him to the hospital. El Gigante is out first, followed by Vader, the Diamond Stud, Cactus Jack with a chainless chainsaw, the Steiners, Abby, and Sting - so the chamber of horrors is the opener!

Rick's orange and black Halloween getup looks so much better than a lot of his early '90s crap.  EARLY STING-VADER! Someone hops out of the coffin and is beaten up. Rick slams him and he then goes to casket #2. Oh God, it's the refer-eye camera! A small cage with the CHAIR OF TORTURE LOWERS and takes up tons of the ring. This means that like a dozen guys have nowhere to move. Sting tosses a tiny coffin lid onto Jack's head and he bumps for it. Stud is slammed on a coffin and guys in white shirts are out. Scott busts a stick on Jack and busts his head open. Sting and Jack fight on the cage, which is nice. They handcuff the masked man. Jack took a bump over the top to the floor that they basically miss. Jim and Pat go over the Cruncher nickname's origins. They show the switch in the down position, which Mick brought up before and Jim and Pat talk about now. Abby is choking Sting. They show the guys in white shirts, and they have white face paint on because why not. The announcers talk about the issue with the switch. Lots of random weapon bonks, which is all anyone can do due to the chair taking up so much real estate. Mick flips the switch and Abby gets fried with the headgear nowhere near Abby's head. Pat and Jim talk about the "kid-friendly" era here where you had a death penalty match and in the WWF, Jake using the snake on Randy. Abby gets up and walks on the guys putting the stage back up and beats up the goons.  Tony is just gobsmacked by all of this.

Bischoff is backstage as a vampire, while Missy is a showgirl. A rather hot showgirl. Young Pistols are backstage with them in less garish getup than Miss. THE CREATURES are coming out to Psychosis's theme.  Creatures are apparently Johnny Rich and Joey Maggs. They're facing PN NEWS AND BIG JOSH. PN News rapped and the very white fans danced to it. PN attacks his with fat and a dropkick. Then again with his fat. BEAUTIFUL German from Josh! PN's whole body is covered and he just looks so fat. News misses the corner avalanche by a mile and even Tony says he missed it by a mile. Borne no-sells their stuff, and just kills Maggs with a powerbomb. Josh hits the Earthquake splash and the Rapmaster sofa drop wins.  They do a slow-mo replay of the finish and somehow miss it.

Jim Ross is excited about Eaton-Taylor. Bobby's shiny jacket is a bit garish, but not too awful. Taylor looks odd, while Terri with dark red hair and lack of giant tits is bizarre. Taylor looks like a ripoff of the Million Dollar Man with the suit. Nice fast action between the two sets up a lariat from Bobby. It's so great hearing the Torch guys bury the laptop at the time for mostly being off and point out that Terry shouldn't have worn the same red gear he did as the Rooster and that Race wore his King getup on WCW TV. A bad jawjacker gives Taylor the lead here. SLAM ON THE RAMP followed by a flying knee to the ramp. Ouch. Taylor takes a silly flip bump back in. Eaton eats a knee and is sent to the barricade. Flair-ish knee from Taylor gets 2. Pat tells a story about Bill Dundee not wanting his daughter to to marry a wrestler - until he found out it was Bobby. Doctor bomb on the ramp!  Slam to Bobby shows off how nasty the ring looks. Splash gets 2 from Taylor. Rear chinlock from Taylor kills time. Jim Ross talks about Taylor just now cracking the top 10, and the winner here being in the hunt for the TV Title. I love the little things like that. Sunset off the top gets 2 for Bobby. Taylor gets the non-arm clutching camel clutch. Bobby back elbows out of things. Sleeper from Terry gets a jaw breaker here, and wow is Bobby in shape. Taylor gets knees up for a splash, while Bobby does the same thing for a pump splash. Bobby gets a nice punch flurry mid-ring. Bobby gets the corner punches and Terry tries to get him mid-ring, but gets atomic dropped and hit with a swinging neckbreaker. Taylor avoids the jam, but eats a punch going for a superplex and then takes a GIGANTIC bump for that, eats the jam, and that's it. This was long, but pretty good overall. Tony is near-comatose right now.

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Raw 10-30-14

Dean-Cena recap with them adding a wacky Simpsons fire effect on the footage started the show. Authority's out, but first, we hear about the FIVE TON INTIMIDATING STRUCTURE KNOWN AS HELL IN THE CELL! Cole hypes up the renewing of Orton-Cena, while HHH goes for the face pop with the Raw intro. HHH proudly got the $9.99 pop, and boy does that ever devalue the brand. He said that HIAC would end two of WWE's greatest rivalries...this one? This cell show? The one in six days? Seth says he's the UNDISPUTED FUTURE OF WWE! HHH said that Orton-Cena, THE MATCH INVOLVING THE LOSER, gets a title shot. Oh fuck me running. They're really killing this Dean-Seth feud by not at least having the match for the case and found a way to make Orton-Cena, the lesser match with no hype, the main event. We're getting a street fight with some people later, and they talk about Sheamus-Miz. Sheamus and the Uos face Miz and the champs. Didn't we just have that match last week?

I guess Sheamus just stood around, because the Usos came down after the break. It's going to be a filler-filled night. Gold and Stardust (who can continue to fuck off) came out and had an inset promo. Mizdow was tagged into this match, and the ref is...fine with this despite him not being a signed competitor. Uso hit a basement kick to Starudst, then Goldust comes in and gets 2. Dumb and Dumber To ad looks dreadful. Cole explains this being a 6-man tag. Miz says he's been in his cinema all week watching Sheamus matches on the WWE Network. He's married to Maryse - he's making a poor use of his time. Uso dive to the pile. Falling Star plunge. Falling sofa from Sheamus. Mizdow gets the win with a distraction schoolboy. Miz brags about winning. JBL was yelled at to drive this point into the ground, leading to Cole burying him for it. The street fight is Cena and Ambrose against the Authority. Oh yeah, that thing.

A singer who survived breast cancer talked about her story, and then Naomi did a bad voiceover about BUYING THE GEAR AND JOINING THE FIGHT! H and Randy talk - Randy will win and then beat Brock, and HHH gave Seth credit for making the Cena-Orton stip. They condensed the Harper/Rowan set free videos into one. Are they ever going to actually get to the point with these Wyatt videos? They seem rather aimless and the commentators should really be commenting on how terrifying WWE will be with the maniacs on the loose without the one man by their side who can control them. King kind of teased a face turn for at least one of them by saying that it could just be Bray who made them crazy. AJ's for a match with someone.

It's Alicia, and WWE SMS SUBSCRIBERS GOT AN EXCLUSIVE - AJ will face Paige at the PPV. Alicia gets 2 off a northern lights. They're talking about the main event a ton, and I just want it to happen so this show will be over. They did a weird distraction finish with Paige and Alicia arguing resulting in Alicia winning, and then Paige jumping into Alicia's arms and falling to the floor. Orton and Seth argued for a little bit. They pimped a WWE Network exclusive - DX Confidential, which I guess is just a taped Summerslam panel. I assume they taped Bret's deal like this done on the screwjob.

Hogan will do an interview LIVE ON THE WWE NETWORK AFTER RAW! Orton's out to talk and they pointed out that Orton should be happy with the stip. Yes, you would think the stip would make Orton happy BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE. Instead of his match meaning nothing, it's for a world title shot. Orton points out that he and Cena had a Cell match before. TIME REALLY FLIES, DOESN'T IT FOLKS!? Randy Orton, top heel in 2014, went for local sports team heat. Yay, a verbal recap of the Orton-Cena feud with zero clips. Cena's out. They really should've made Keep Calm and Conquer the Streak shirts. Cena told him to shut up and called Orton a dumbass. More words. More dumbass stuff. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PAUL HEYMAN HAS RETURNED to bury the class of 2002's revisionist history since it didn't involve BROCK LESNAR! Heyman said Cena-Orton was a chance for the other to DEFINE THEIR LEGACIES. How? Orton-Cena is like the reverse Okada-Tanahashi feud. The more they fight, the less interest there is. Heyman says that Cena wants both the beast and the title, which would seem like the Survivor Series main event. Cena tried to AA Heyman for...daring to say words, and Orton RKOd him. RKO TO HEYMAN! Well, so much for my thought that Orton with Heyman could be new and fresh. "I didn't see that coming, and I didn't see that coming!" Thanks, King! 2K15 soundtrack "THEY SHOULDA NEVA LET CENA CUT WIT WIZ KHALIFA!" Ugh. Rusev and Lana walk backstage.

Total Divas mid-season finale has TJ-Nattie divorce issues, Nikki-Cena breaking up, and then HEY WHO CARES ABOUT THAT, recap of the stuff before the break. Rusev's out to face Big E. "If Big E can't knock off Rusev, I don't think anyone from our country can!" I'm sure he meant to say Show, but still LOL. They do the same stuff they always do and go to a break off a spin kick from Rusev. Rusev still has his heard and arm tie on after the break. Superkick>stomp>Accolade. WHAT'S BIG E GONNA DO!? Same thing he always does Cole - lose to Rusev via the Accolade. Lana cut an amusing promo about Show losing on Sunday and being sent to the carnival where people will throw half-eaten food at him and he'll allow in his own excrement. I really want a skit where Show gets food thrown at him. Less so one with him wallowing in his own shit. Lana praised the REAL RED WHITE AND BLUE, but the Russian flag didn't come down. Instead, Show rigged the American flag. A "troop" ran in and got superkicked when Rusev tried to pull the American flag down. This was different, but not really good.

"He tried to get into the ring, but was stopped by our security." Well no, he got in the ring, so security failed. Now had it been Russian security... Show is still mid-ring for some reason. "There are certain lines you don't cross." Like using a war where people are dying to prop up WrestleMania. A guy yelled Kurt Angle a few times and yelled BIG SHOW SUCKS. Show going to unleash every big of wrath in his head all over Rusev's head. After more horrible words, he got a light USA chant and threatened to go after Rusev backstage. Show went backstage and was told to go to "that door, right there". The one clearly marked with his name. He went in. No Rusev. Okay then. Dean's watching See No Evil 2 backstage. Ambrose plugging Kane's movie. Between this and him just wearing his merch last week, they're chipping away needlessly at Dean's rebel act. Dean was great here with Cena calling himself Batman while Cena's Superman, but the Joker payoff was silly. WHY SO SERIOUS!? HAHAHA 2008 MAGGLE!

Cole congratulated the company's top heel Stephanie McMahon for being honored by the Eisenhower committee. Brie's facing Summer, and the Bella stip match now has a new stip - the losing Bella MUST comply or be fired. WWE, like TNA, adding stips to a stip match that no one cares about. Brie won, yessed, and Nikki emoted angrily. So if Brie wins do we get skits on Total Divas of her buying Nikki's sex toys? And if Brie wins, I guess we'll have Nikki shopping at Whole Foods asking for all-natural foods awkwardly. "Hi, do you have...Khali?" "Excuse me?" K-a-l-e?"

Dean's out with a big bag. It contains several smaller bags, and a Seth dummy. Dean did prop "comedy", but it was the kind of funny that didn't involve people laughing. He tonged the dummy's non-balls and King made a "HOW TONG CAN THIS GO ON" joke. Seth came out to end this. THANK YOU SETH! Dean made faces and threw parts of the dummy at Seth, Noble, and Mercury. They said more words. SAINT MICK RETURNS! Foley returns to the a very large Santa shirt. Mick cut a fantastic promo about the Shield's debut and his daughter raving about it. He's proud of each man achieving their destines since then and put the Cell over as demonic, but special. We're getting Dean-Foley in the best way possible - on the mic! Mick looks so frail right now. Foley said the Cell will define Dean and Seth like it did him, to the point where his career is splintered into two forms - pre-Cell and post-Cell. Mick came reasonably close to saving the show with another excellent surprise that they could've hyped up beforehand. Dean hit Seth with the dummy. Well, I could've done without that, but the heels bumping for it was amusing.

Cesaro's facing Dolph. They did very little until the break. Nice gorilla press gutbuster led to a double axehandle from Cesaro. Tiger driver from Cesaro was turned into an X factor counter by Dolph. Cesaro wins by countering a superkick into the Swiss Uppercut, so he should get a title shot at the PPV. That is such a great finisher for him - stands out big-time, and it comes out of nowhere. So of course, he destroys him after to get the Neutralizer over as his REAL finisher. Authority bickered. HIAC Pre-Show has Mizdow TV with Heyman on the panel, so no need to watch that.

Hell in a Cell by the numbers. BAD BLOOD WAS THE FIRST TIME HELL GRACED THE UNIVERSE. Or whatever that was. Ugh. And was was that HHH-HBK cell match just awful - it was HHH trying to prove he was an all-time best by doing a really long match and proving that he's just not at that level. Main event tease, BUT FIRST, Wyatts video. I wonder if they'll be interfering in a cell match. Cena's out followed by Dean. I guess the heels come out after the break. Everyone was out by 10:50 and they recapped the Batman stuff with Cole calling JBL Catwoman. WHAT!? They clear off the table, of course, because it's a street fight. As you would do in one. Flying elbow from Dean onto the pile. OUT COME THE TOYS. Hard to sell them as vile weapons when they're called toys. Dean got bonked into the table and Kane took Cena down for a break. Seth and Dean did some stuff. Orton came in and stomped Dean. Came came in, got tossed around and took an awful bump over the announce table. I'm sensing a no contest in this street fight, with KANE IN IT. GENERAL KANE PUT CENA THROUGH A TABLE. This is somehow a preview to the Cell show. Cell came down and they tried to keep Dean out, but the cell dropped too slowly, so he got back in. Big dropkick from Dean sends Seth into the cell - great spot that they'd better repeat on the PPV.  They did shit and Orton landed awkwardly on the table and swore, resulting in a muting. KMOOOOOVVEEE! Orton is unhappy. Kane chokeslams Cena, eats a Dirty Deeds DDT, and then goes for a rebound lariat BUT HE EATS AN RKO AND LOSES. And then Seth Curb Stomps Orton. Also, there's a PPV on Sunday that really means nothing since everyone's already moved on from it. We know with Dean losing here, he's winning on the PPV, while Orton can lose to Cena and it won't matter since he's facing Seth at whatever the post-Cell PPV is.

The Hogan deal is just him backstage cutting a promo with Renee. Show's standing up for America JUST LIKE THAT TROOP DID. And I missed a bit of this due to "from the beginning" bringing up the DX thing, and "now" doing this. Rollins-Ambrose was apparently a tossup and now he's coming to the ring. It's pretty cool seeing he and Cena mid-ring. Hogan and Cena did the Hogan-Sid pose bit, but were really out of sync. Cole talked about doing the posing when he was a kid. And now. And how the DX thing is next, they gave him a wedgie, a wet willie, and broke his thumbs. What assholes.

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Friday, October 17, 2014

WWE SD 10-17-14

I've got a possibly lengthy vet visit and a top-shelf X1 early release today, so I'm glad to have a chance to get this show out of the way.  Show time is an hour 29 minutes - hooray for saving 30 minutes! A FOUR MINUTE LONG recap of Raw's Ambrose-Cena stuff kills time. Seth's out to cut a promo to start the show proper. Great bit where he chants along with the crowd's YOU SOLD OUT with I SOLD OUT - always good to see life brought to SD. Seth says that honor is a lofty ideal when you're young, but honor doesn't pay the bills. Seth and his absurdly slicked-back hair say you'd sell your family out in a heartbeat. He sold out against Dean, and he'll PUT DEAN OUT inside the cell. Dolph-Seth time - I guess Dolph isn't tired of losing. He wants this due to the post-match curb stomp. Dolph sends him to the floor to start a break off. Seth gets bounced around ringside, which gets so wacky Dolph nearly bumps off of ramming Seth into the barricade. Seth brings Dolph into the post, but eats a super facebuster for 2. Seth misses a stinger splash and takes a great bump for it - nice and bouncy, but not silly. Seth goes for a sunset buckle bomb, but Dolph hops up and gets his DDT - not super-smooth, but still good. Fameasser turned into a buckle bomb setup, but Dolph sunsets him for 2. Buckle bomb finally hits as does the curb stomp - that's it for D. Super-fun match.

YAY IT'S DEAN! Dean's excited about having Seth locked inside THE DEMONIC CELL. He's gonna stick his left boot, the lucky one, where the sun don't shine! Mr. Kane makes a match with himself against Dean later. AJ's facing Layla, whose new gear is pretty good. They've got some fast action going on, but AJ takes advantage of a situation and gets the Black Widow. Paige sends Alicia in, but she's gotta take her out herself. Yakuza kick and Rampaige take out AJ. Seth and Kane have a wacky meeting about their Raw handicap match. Rusev killing spree video. Sheamus and the Usos chat. They reference Twins from what, 1990 or so. They're facing Miz, Gold, and Stardust. Usos are so underrated on the mic. Rowan video. 6-man tag is up. An excellent Miz hype video aired. Faces are out followed by the heels. Stardust eats some double teams, and then Mizdow throws himself into the barricade off an Uso basement dropkick to Miz! Stardust tears off Jey's shirt. Sheamus chases Miz, Mizdow follows. Heel tag champs regain control. JBL puts Goldust over as he dominates Jey. Miz is back out. Goldust eats a Samoan drop for a hope spot. Sheamus comes in and runs wild on everyone but Miz - Uso dive to the Mizes. Clubberin time! Stardust saves, but Miz's face goes into the table. Falling reverse DDT from Stardust. He eats a superkick. Brogue to Goldust and that's it. Fun match.

Show in a nice pair of slacks and a giant Polo business casual shirt came out. Must be cold in the arena. Show and HIS BEST FRIEND, HIS BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER Mark Henry got involved on Raw. Henry comes out and Show tells a story about them riding around the road. Show and Henry went to Waffle House - it's an oasis for them! A guy steals their spot, but they're hungry. They flipped his car over onto its roof. Babyfaces. Then they had to get sandwiches at a gas station to avoid getting caught. "We were hungry, but we also family!" Show brought up Henry's family, and is so thankful that Henry's daughter looks more like his mother. They should've done this whole deal to start, but I'm glad they did it. Show talks about how he needs to take Rusev out on his own, which slightly upsets Henry, who brings that up. For the friendship, he'll get out of his business. Rusev and Lana come out - AFTER YOU LOSE TO ME, YOU'RE GOING TO DISGRACE YOURSELF AND YOUR STUPID USA! I WOULD LIKE THAT! Rusev rules.

Nikk-Brie footage after Raw makes the personal assistant stip. Nikki kills her with the Rack Attack. Nikki gave everyone a fine view of her cleavage on the post. Harper video. Dean met with Renee in the absurdly-pink backstage area. WWE has found a way from being as unsubtle as humanly possible to taking it a step further than that. Dean thinks Kane has starred in one too many horror films - yippy kai-yay! Kane's out with Seth, followed by Dean for a sub-10 minute main event. Dean takes a beating on the arm, but lands a corner forearm>bulldog combo for 2. Seth pulls Dean out during the rebound lariat and that'll be a DQ. Buckle bomb hits, but Dean avoids a chair-assisted curb stomp, but Dean uses the chair on Kane while Seth runs. Dean closes the show yelling to Seth that he'll rip his face off - complete with wacky body language. Fun stuff.

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Thursday, October 16, 2014

WWE NXT 10-16-14

Got a PureTalk ad before the programming - it's short, but wow does it make WWE look low rent. It's sub-ESPN Classics. I finally got to see the Goldust mini-bio thing - it's really well done. Shame these aren't on-demand. Great stuff with BookDust, the S&M Dust, and even up to Stardust. Goddamn does this Stardust act just not work in any way. Baron Corbin gets a spotlight intro now, and Elias Sampson in his next victim. End of Days wins. Guy needs more than just one move. Carmella debuts tonight and gets an Italian flag NXT logo - looks good. Sami Zayn's out to a pretty big reaction. Massive Ole chant starts up when he grabs the mic. The yellow, pink, yellow rope setup looks weird, but it also looked cool with Baron's lighting. He said he's tired of losing fair and square - he's better than that. Tyson's out in a Sami shirt to talk shit leading to Sami asking him if he made sure to get Nattie's permission before coming out here. Tyson tells him his future is dim, but don't worry - you can make money selling 8x10s losing to real stars. Sami wants a match with him, and he tells Tyson to go get Tyler's phone to call Nattie. Tyson says Tyler shouldn't have her number, but he does have to call home about the cats! Lucha Dragons warm up.

They're out to face Wesley Blake and Buddy Murphy, who I don't recall seeing before. One of them has Wolves-ish gear and the other has MCMG Sabin shorts. Murphy's got the shorts and Blake's got the Wolves stuff. Murphy catches Sin Cara during an outside-in DDT into a deadlift suplex. Cesaro should rip that off. This role is so perfect for Hunico at his age - he gets his best push to date, and really the best use of the Sin Cara character ever. Hot tag to Kalisto leads to some dives. Super Victory Roll-ish thing wins for Sin Cara, although they call it a super sunset bomb for whatever reason. Recap of Breeze killing Mojo. Mojo announced a shoulder injury of sorts, and he said he'd come back stronger and take a step back to take 2 forward. I went through some screens of Mojo and against Rusev, he appeared to have massive scarring on both shoulders. Becky Lynch faces Charlotte next.

Becky's out first and gets a pretty big reaction. Becky outwrestles her while Renee talks about Charlotte having confidence, but not being the ratty brat she was before. Charlotte lands the Bret backbreaker and lands some Finlay-esque snapmare-setup elbows. Charlotte gets a modified Northern Lights for 2. Becky gets 2 off a calf kick. Knee-dropping neckbreaker sets up the facebuster and the win for Charlotte. Itami/Funaki-Ascension beating recap, and they said sayonara. Sami faces Kidd in the main event. Legionaires face the Jersey boys. Enzo's out in bright white pants and Rock's shirt from No Mercy on the N64. Enzo's shirt rules. Legionaires porno theme is ridiculous. Lefort takes the wig off and Louis attacks! Crowd chants Oui and that's it. No decision. Okay then. Cass calls out Blue Pants, and they sing the Price is Right song really well. Renee name-drops Kitty Pryde since she's got blue and yellow. It's time for the BADA BING HOTTEST CHICK IN THE RING, Carmella. Carmella's got a good theme, a hot ass, and some presence. NXT has easily the best themes in wrestling outside of NJPW. Carmella gets a dropkick and the modified headscissors from the training deal for the win. Becky and Sasha had a bit backstage where Sasha told her to look at herself and see what it takes to get to the top. Neville cuts a promo about wanting to beat Titus next week to prove NXT stars can hang on top.

Bayley faces Sasha next week, and Adrian faces Titus for the title. Kidd and Zayn zip along, while Alex hypes up Tyson's work for 20 years now, while Renee says Sami went all over the world and now he's here. It's such a shame all companies aren't booked like NXT - everyone has a clear role, the titles mean something, and there's a real sense of elevation. It's like how things were 20 years ago where you can get into an act from day one and see it rise up in real-time. Kidd gets his nasty apron soccer kick for an ad break. Sami gets a break with a dropkick. Crossbody off the top gets 2. Sami's Blue Thunder bomb gets 2 as well. Kidd comes back and gets a sharphooter. Tyson misses his over the top legdrop to the apron and damn that was nasty. Corner exploder, Helluva kick wins! Very good match, but not quite on par with the top of what we've seen on NXT, or even as good as Orton-Dolph on Raw.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

TNA Impact 10-15-14 - Post-BFG

It's the post-BFG edition of Impact, and I'm less interested in it than I was before. Tenay's VO says they're BACK IN THE US and Kurt's got a decision to make about Roode-Lashley. Taz calls Kurt "an all-business type of leadership dude". Kurt said that with him as the director of wrestling operations, the competition has never been better anywhere. Lashley's blue shirt, black workout pants, and bright blue shoes look neat. It's a different look. The boo machine went crazy here, and Kurt has apparently asked MVP and King to not be here, and they agreed. Why, I have no idea. Kurt asks Lashley why he said no when Roode wanted a rematch - well, he beat him clean. Lashley cites this and then asks Kurt if he wants a shot. They stare down and Tenay tries to put it over as a big thing. Kurt says one day it will happen, which is a pretty stupid thing to do unless it's Kurt's final WWE match at WM. Kurt makes a 4-way for the title shot, which they already announced all over the place on social media. EY's out first and man does it feel like it's been eons since he was champion even though he was the most recent champion. Jeff's next, then Aries, and then Roode. LASHLEY HAS THOROUGHLY KILLED ALL OF THESE MEN. This makes the main event roster seem crazy thin. The winner of this match faces "Lasley" as Kurt calls him. Well, this served very little purpose realistically, but only ate up 7 minutes. Team 3D HOF video with Dreamer doing the IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT bit. Bully and Velvet were shown as a couple in this video too. So to recap, Team 3D finishes up, tries to get a gig with New Japan ON TNA'S SHOW and then gets honored after leaving with this. Brilliant. Rayne-Havok is next.

Hardy/Willow ShopTNA bundle hype. Matt talked about Jeff and he's all for him getting a shot, and then Magnus talks smack about beating Jeff, and Matt says he wishes he had a dueling glove BECAUSE HE WANTS A MATCH. This was really fun. Madison's out in new short shorts gear. Madison logically explained why she left Taryn to Havok and cheated to win. Havok-Sky stills are shown and largely focus on Velvet's ass. Madison tries a go-behind, but Havok just spins her out. They have a wacky plug for the calendar with Taz scrweing up the site now. Nice elevated full nelson by Havok - it's like Jazz's bitch clamp, but with a full nelson and not a double chickenwing. Vader bodyblock takes Madison down. Idiot in the crowd yells KENNEDY! Taz talked about calling BFG from the company's Nashville WORLD HEADQUARTERS. This match isn't very good, but Madison's ass is five stars. They tease the armbar bearhug drop, but Earl stops it. They say that Gail isn't cleared, so the Havok deal was her short-term writeoff. Havok misses a corner post charge on the floor and nails forearms on the floor and mid-ring. Madison got some corner kicks that looked dreadful, but set up a nice missile dropkick for 2. Side roll is countered by sheer size, and Havok hits the chokeslam now called the Harlot Slayer for the win. Devon and Kurt are backstage, so yeah, actually on-air, BFG wasn't 3D's final date. They're probably going to wind up getting the most out of anyone from TNA's contracts being up in the air since they have plenty of options.

EY cut a promo backstage about having a 5% chance of winning against Lashley, but now he has a 25% chance and he's crazy and wants to get crazy. WHAT!? Good lord does he ever not seem like he belongs in this deal. Full Metal Mayhem clips aired putting the Wolves over huge. Matt's out in red and black pants - but not his V1 ones. They exchange punches and then MAGNUS POWERBOMBED HIM ON THE RINGPOST AND THEN ON THE APRON. Dammit Matt, don't take stupid shit that's going to risk you getting fucked up on shit again. Magnus dominates with holds here now after POWERBOMBING A MAN ON THE APRON, seems like you'd do those things in reverse. Misses a flying elbow. Matt finally gets some offense with the Side Effect for 2. Moonsault gets 2 for Matt. Tenay hypes up EC3's new bodyguard. Magnus tries to cheat to win with a victory roll counter holding the ropes, but he argues with the ref, goes off the top and is met with a Twist in mid-air - this was perfectly-timed and this match was worth watching. Matt looked better here in a singles match than he has in a long time. EC3's BFG promo airs.

Bro Mans and the BPs are out being wacky with Angelina doing Jesse's deal, and Velvet copying DJZ's motions too. They're facing Steve, Knuxy, and Rebel. Thank God Love's in there with Rebel and not Velvet. DJZ smacks Rebel's ass to distract her. This plays into things with Knux going after Z for doing that. Knux then spanks DJZ.  They put over Robbie and Brooke being on the Amazing Race including showing a CBS graphic, so hey, maybe they're angling for a spot there. If nothing else, they're making use of everything being under the Viacom family. Jesse misses a corner charge and Rebel takes over on Angelina. They double clothesline each other to highlight Rebel's ass. Steve gets wacky offense on Jesse and wins with a flying tornado DDT. EC3 reveal is next.

Roode promo about the main event, but he's interrupted by Aries, who respects him for wishing him luck before he faced Lashley. I love the use of little things in TNA history being referenced to make the whole history seem important. EC3 came out with Brodus, and they played into the name issue by having Taz say he got a text saying the name, but you can't say it until EC3 does. Nice. EC3-Hama shots. EC3 introduces Tyrus. HIS NAME IS TYRUS. HIS NAME IS TYRUS. HIS NAME IS TYRUS! Tyrus as a serious act instead of a comedy act should be better for him being taken seriously, although doing bumpless dance matches will help his body hold up on the indies. They did a comedy bit with Tyrus re-enforcing what EC3 said - these two have some chemistry. Devon came out in a Hope For a Single Mom shirt. Devon said that the one guy in the HOF he hasn't beaten is himself. Devon calls him Ty-rex, which actually isn't too bad a name, and then Tyrus keeps yelling TYRUS again. Bram attacks Devon, greatly offending the boo machine. His knee gets beaten up with trash can shots while they keep trying to get over THE KING OF HARDCORE name for Bram.

They showed BFG clips and hyped the replay. EC3 and Tyrus are still in the ring and EC3 said "THANK THE LORD FOR THAT BEARDED ANGEL, BRAM!" Oh this guy is so great. WWE really missed the boat on him, but WWE's loss has been TNA's gain and he's making the most of it. EC3 talked about beating Devon and how he WENT INTO THE OCEAN TO FIND TYRUS'S OPPONENT - SHARK BOY! Oh Christ - not even TJ Perkins could work with him! Bob Ryder told Simon Diamond to find Shark Boy, who was busy eating donuts. He grabs a post-fight donut too. This is an interesting way to make use of a guy who is too broken down to go.Tenay buries Sharky for eating too much in catering, while Taz was just shocked he gets his own dressing room. Tyrus has new gear - it's just his Brodus stuff with TYRUS on it and Redemption down the back. SHE-YA suplex. Bundy avalanche sets up a goozle Show-style chokeslam. Odd to have two chokeslam finishes in the company, but it's different enough, and in a different division. BFG highlights wisely focused on the X Title match, which was excellent, and told the story of the main event nicely. The TNA BANZAI fan got a lot of airtime too. The audio even with it being possible to edit it here, still sounded terrible. Main event is "next", which means a lot of filler before the actual match.

Tenay pimps the TNA social network stuff and they ask Bram about his deal...which we got no info on. Tag title series recap. That really was an awesome thing and something that would've been even better a few years ago when the company was on stronger footing. As it is now, it might've been a good finale program for the company to go out on since they really have made tag titles seem important over the years. A silly cyber Wolves video aired. I have no idea what the point of these things is since they take time and money to make, don't fit the Wolves's gimmick of just being badass fighters, and they of course added stupid howling. And then they announced an 8-team tourney for the next challengers, but didn't name anyone. How very odd.

EY's out first leading to clips of him being killed in every match with Lashley. Clips of his match with Lashley aired, and it's hard to believe that was three months ago. Aries is out, clips, then Roode and clips. Good formula since you get each guy's motivation over, show that they COULD have won the title, but dammit, the champ is simply too dominant. Lashley's booking has also been a lucky break, much like the tag title, where they've managed to make at least two titles feel really important. Intros set up a break, so the main event will probably get about 20 minutes or so.

Aries starts with a corner dropkick and gets 2, while EY cradles him for 2. Okay, this is now an elimination match - WHY NOT ANNOUNCE THAT BEFOREHAND!? EY and Hardy did some stuff in the corner, leading to a headscissors and then Aries and Jeff went at it. Roode shoved Aries off into Hardy with a goofy head bonk. EY hits a suicide dive to Roode. I love this being elimination to give the winner some credibility and underlying it, the ability to make a top 4 contender's listing in reverse. Air Hardy to the pile using Aries's back. Aries dives on that pile. Aries tells the ref to count them all out. Cheap, but smart. Bellator plug is cut off for Aries doing a basement dropkick to EY off the second rope. Hardy's bouncy corner kick missed for an ad break. Going through the Observer now and Elgin leaving ROH was an angle - HIS OWN ANGLE. Oh God this guy. He's doomed and it's his own damn fault. He worked two sub-75 crowds and had a breakdown. Yeah well, you're not a star and your peak was two years ago. Sometimes you get made in a night and can live off of it for decades like Sting, and then there's this.

After the break, they plugged the Storm bundle and the STING bundle. Well shit, you might as well do that now while you've got the rights to the footage, the music, and the merch. Aries did stuff, Hardy did stuff, and EY made a save. Tower of Doom is teased and there's actually a reasonable crowd here. Mega Tower of Doom with JEFF HARDY of all people doing the powerbomb part. Love Jeff bouncing from guy to guy to try and win - and since it's elimination, you could really do this and not have it be pure comedy since only one guy would be taken out. EY goes for a moonsault and it misses, as does Jeff's swanton. Stereo Roode Bomb/Brainbuster take out EY and Jeff Hardy, leaving us with a bit of an Aries-Roode match. Roode bomb countered into a sunset, then a crossface. That's turned into a cradle for 2, then the chancery. Roode gets to the rope and then Aries does the apron neckbreaker. The match itself has been quite good up to this point, but these two are taking it to another level. Aries missile dropkick, then the corner dropkick, AND THE BRAINBUSTER, but it's countered into a Roode bomb. Aries counters that into the discus forearm, Roode counters another brainbuster with a knee, and then Aries responds with a stiff discus forearm. Leap up doesn't work for Aries, who eats a wonky Roode Bomb - it was more like a TKO. This was a fantastic main event overall, with me wanting a best of whatever series between Roode and Aries afterwards - this had some of their best stuff yet despite being probably under five minutes. Hardy and EY come down to congratulate Roode, and Roode helps Aries up. What a perfect way to handle a 4-way babyface match.They held each other's hands high and went around the ring posing. This would've been a really fun final Impact.

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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

WWE Main Event 10-14-14

Miz is out with no Mizdow and they talk about Miz being in the hunt for the U.S. Title. How very odd to just flip flop the secondary title feuds with very little reason being given. They recap Sheamus losing via idiocy on Raw. Miz gets a shot at the title at the PPV, which could be good. It's MizTV with no announced guest beforehand - so why bother doing this at the start? Sheamdow is out. Oh lord. Sheamdow's got that dimestore hair dye in the beard. I think I used it for a Halloween costume when I was 10 - same shade of orange too. He's wearing a giant rash guard suit to turn all white!  IT'S A SHAMEFUL THING, LOBSTER HEAD! Okay, this got great. Miz gets on Mizdow for improvising about how good Mizdow is, so that'll be a reason for the break down the line. Love Sheamdow siding with Sheamus since he's out there. Sheamus says "his is bigger" since they went with a shitty replica for Miz. Sheamdow copying Sheamus is cracking him up. Sheamus attacked Sheamdow, which got a ton of boos. More when he brogue kicks him. Poor Mizdow. "Hell in a Cell shaping up to be one heck of an event!" Oh the lulz. Rusev faces Big E tonight, which should be pretty good - they were solid together when Rusev wasn't nearly as good as he is now.

"There are two things that will never lie to you - CATS AND FACTS!" I love this guy. Kidd-Truth should be a fun little match. Truth shucks and jives, resulting in Tyson barking at him. Nice sliding dropkick from Kidd. Tyson's new red gear doesn't look as good as his yellow gear. Tyson's got his kids airbrushed on his kickpads! Someone yells PUT SOME PANTS ON, TYSON! Nattie looks distraught with her husband on offense. Due to a Nattie distraction, Truth hits Paydirt and wins.

Fantastic inset promo from Cesaro here. He shows up with his head ducked and promised that DOLPH WOULD BE IN THE SWING OF THINGS - BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Cesaro-Gabriel should be awesome. Nice back elbow>chop sequence in the corner from Cesaro. Gabriel gets a headscissor counter out of the corner and they don't know what to do next, so they just do a quick one count. Corner beatdown from Cesaro. Stream gets all wonky for a bit, and it comes back with Gabriel on top for 2. Might've hit an STO - that used to be a setup for the 450. Gabriel misses a wonky moonsault block and Cesaro beats him with the Neutralizer. Gabriel really looked lost in there at times, which never happens. Right after BFG, WWE has a BOUND FOR HELL graphic. Maybe they got preliminary numbers. Raw rebound focuses on the Ambrose-Cena stuff. We finally get a full-screen shot of Dean's "you can't see me" bit. On Raw, Cena and Ambrose team up to face Kane, Seth, and Orton. RUSEV CRUSH TIME! Rusev's gear is kind of hard to make in FPR, but I think if I go with a fire layer, and then the sideline layer, it'll look okay - it should at least kind of replicate the larger blue section with the red area in the middle. Show-Rusev was added to the PPV as well, but not in the Cell. It would actually make sense there too given the Henry interference last night - makes more sense than Orton-Cena in storyline. See No Evil 2 is out soon - you can either buy it, or just rent it for $1 at Redbox.

Lana gets USA chants - SHU-TUP! This act rules. Lana calls this city the armpit of the nation, while Rusev calls Show the anus, the stinky anus at that, and when he's done with Show, he'll be talking. THROUGH HIS ANUS. Um, yeah. E-Rusev is now a classic rivalry. Big E sends him to the floor, but Rusev regains control before a break. Rusev continues to dominate with shots in the corner. This is their worst match to date. ST-JOE BY BIG E gets 2! Rusev counters the Ultimate splash with the running superkick. CRUSH TIME! Accolade is on, but Big E isn't instantly tapping - he tried, but couldn't get out of it. Lana looks to be half the width of Rusev when they're side by side. God this dude is just so wide - like Volkoff. 

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