Tuesday, February 14, 2017

WWE SmackDown 2-14-17

Chamber recap leads to Bray coming out and one smartass yelling HUSKY HARRIS. Cena and AJ come out and want a rematch for the title. Bryan says that they're both owed rematches, so we'll get a triple threat tonight for the title. American Alpha struggles through another horrible match with the Ascension. They retain, thank God and the Usos cut a promo on them.

Ellsworth and Carmella are backstage and Dean tells James that Carmella is a gold digger. Bryan asks if there's a problem and Dean says that yes, he has a problem named Baron, and also James is dressed like a schmuck. Bryan makes the match. Dean vs. Ellsworth is a backdrop for a Baron asskicking. Deep Six through a ringside table! Nattie and Nikki bicker backstage.

Dolph is an asshole backstage. Becky vs. Mickie is solid, and Mickie wins after feigning a shoulder injury and Mick Kicking her to win. Naomi is all super-happy and Alexa says that she'll give Naomi a week to get her rematch. Cena vs. AJ vs. Bray starts with Harper beating up Bray. AJ hits a crazy legdrop off the barricade through  Bray on the announce table. Abigail hits Cena and Bray wins - cementing him as THE MAN beating the prior champion twice. Randy comes down and says that as long as Bray is his master, he refuses to face him at WM.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017

Booker, Carmella, Renee, and Sam Roberts are on the panel. A nice piano intros begins the show itself. The all-new chamber looks like a giant black Cell in a chamber-ish shape. Becky comes out first to face Mickie. Super-long tieup spot to start. Otunga goes on about how Mickie has been off for seven years while JBL says no, she's actually been wrestling elsewhere. Flying seated senton gets 2 for Mickie. Her arm gets sliced up somehow and gets cradled to lose. Okay match, but nothing amazing.
Carmella and Ellsworth are in the skybox and I think she's a heel again now. She's not impressed by Becky and he agrees. Crews is out for his 2 ON 1 HANDICAP MATCH AGAINST THE HEEL. Dolph beats Kalisto's ass and tosses him into the LED boards smashing them. Good on Dolph for beating up that lucha stripper-themed bully. It's just Crews vs. Dolph, and Crews at least has slick new yellow, blue, and black gear. Dolph is rightfully cheered wildly - so this was a heck of a heel turn. After several minutes of boring action, Kalisto sadly returns. He destroys Dolph with flippy things, brings in Crews, and they win with the atomic powerbomb. The two faces (barely) managed to beat the one heel. Yay? Dolph kicks their asses in the post-match - SO WHY EVEN BOTHER WITH THE MATCH THEN? The loss is negated by the post-match ass-kicking. Why not just save everyone time and just have Dolph beat everyone's asses with a chair?

Nice of Raw to get ad time on an SD show while Raw is FIGHTING FOR ITS VERY SURVIVAL AGAINST SMACKDOWN LIVE! Rhyno and Slater come out for tag turmoil. The Fashion Police are here! We get a rundown of the various foreign announcers to show that WWE IS A GLOBAL JUGGERNAUT. Extended Aloha Arn spot for a sunset flip! I love Fandango. He eats a gore and loses. Vaudevillains come out. And they're gone. Usos are out. Fat Uso beats Slater before AA comes out - and I could see them losing since the Usos have lost literally every match against them to date. Usos lose to a victory roll and kick the faces' asses - so just like THE LAST FUCKING MATCH. Ascension has a new look. "Okay, we need to make them look like the LOD AND Luchasaurus!" AA wins this largely nothing of a match.
Nikki vs. Nattie is up. Nikki leads the revolution by shaking her ass and fake-flashing everyone. As ya do. Phoenix Suns-colored gear is right out of Cena's '02 local team playbook. Nikki goes for a shitty cross armbar. Long chinlocks here. Tons of "you can't see me" bits from Nattie. A few billion more. Awful spinebuster by Nikki. Nikki does the STF better than John. AFTER ALL THAT IT'S A DOUBLE COUNTOUT!? Are you fucking kidding me? Nikki spears her after eating a beating after the match. Carmella said the chicks had issues, Ellsworth repeated it. Riveting. Bray talks about the era of Wyatt and Harper vs. Orton is hyped up.
Randy does chinlocks. Poses. Back suplex on the table. Posing. Superkick party by Harper. RKO ends it. Wow was this nothing. Nattie and Nikki's ass crack brawl. Alexa faces Naomi in a very sloppy match. Dreaded...snapmare on the hair over the ropes. Snap DDT gets 2 for Bliss. Naomi hits the moonsault, it gets 2, Bliss cheats for 2, eats a sloppy moonsault and loses. Naomi wins the title during Black History Month. Because of course she does. Naomi is in tears over being SMACKDOWN LIVE WOMEN'S CHAMPION. Could they have come up with better names for these fucking titles? Everyone called them the Raw and SD belts eons ago to make things easily to follow - that didn't need to actually be done by WWE to make their braindead product easy to follow. Carmella insults interview robot and Ellsworth goes heel on her.

Chamber is up. It gets a video package and then we see the new chamber. It looks like the steel grating is gone. Dean gets a full intro, as does Baron. White and black gear on AJ tonight - he looks amazing. AJ dominates for a bit, but eats a code red for 2. The chamber now has NEW AND IMPROVED lighting stripes and a giant WWE logo when guys are chosen. Dean dives onto Cena from the pod to the flooring with the elbow.

DOUBLE GERMAN BY CENA! Bray is in.Cena and AJ fight on the new cage-esque walking area before AJ knocks him down and Cena just makes a thud. This new metallic surface doesn't sound nearly as devastating. Dean and AJ fight on top of a pod and smash each other into the pod. SUPER CHOKE TOSS SUPLEX BY BRAY TO AJ! STF to Baron, who then hits an END OF DAYS TO CENA! Miz is out, but won't come in and Dean uses this to cradle Baron and pin him. Baron tosses Dean through the pod to set up Baron and Dean in the IC Title scene. Miz pins Dean to keep that going. Slow motion Yes kicks to Bray and Cena. AA to Miz ends it for him.
A fan yells "DON'T KILL YOURSELF, CENA" as he climbs to the top of a pod and dives onto AJ and Bray. Abigail to Cena and he's out!Baisaku knee by AJ. LOL at AJ doing even more of KENTA's shit on the main roster. Foream is countered into Abigail for the win. Odd to have Bray win the title now, when he has no real momentum - but Bray went from literally nothing as Husky Harris to now a World Champion - so that's cool. I also love Bray beating the then-current champion in the match to make this a more credible win.

Screenshot gallery -

Thursday, February 9, 2017

WWE Network Hidden Gems Volume 2

A new batch of footage has been unearthed, with a lot of the new stuff coming from a fan who taped a lot of hings that were never released commercially before. The most interesting match is the Battle of the Nature Boys - Buddy Rogers vs. Ric Flair, which I'll start off with. This is film footage, so it looks quite rich. Flair runs wild with punches and eats a slam. Everything is clipped, so getting a sense for the match as a whole is impossible. Rogers eats a suplex and gets busted open by something. Punches in the corner lead to a Flair flop. Flair hits a series of hard elbows and punches in the corner before a kneeling slugfest. Figure 4 by Flair is reversed. Flair is on the floor somehow and Rogers wins via countout. Well, that was historical - but impossible to follow,

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

WWE SmackDown 12-7-17

Cena-Orton hype video. Then. Now. Forever. Bryan comes out with a "home" shirt on since they're in Seattle. A lot of fans cheer quite loudly - including one overweight, balding man in a Bliss shirt with his hair dyed like her. Okay then. He says that he had a hard time the last time he was here, because he had to retire - but he is grateful, and he likes being the GM of SD Live. He's even more grateful that soon, he'll be a dad.

Miz comes out and continues his incredible chemistry with Bryan, and tells him to be a stay at home dad because he can't wrestle anymore, so he really shouldn't even be in a ring. Bryan says not being able to wrestle never stopped Miz. Ha! They go back and forth and man is it amazing how well they work together. Baron comes down and then Dean comes down and says he's looking forward to the chamber. AJ says they're in a fantasy world because Baron thinks he'll be champion while Dean will be behind bars, which he might be used to. Bryan makes a fatal four way match next. HOLLA HOLLA!

Dean takes a tower of doom bump here in this TV match for some reason. Miz avoids the clash and does the knee plus for 2. Moonsault DDT gets 2 for AJ. AJ eats an End of Days to beat AJ - now that did for him what the Cena match should've. Harper cuts a creepy promo about cutting the head off the viper is too easy - he wants to hurt him. Nattie and Nikki's cleavage do weird side-by-side promos. Dolph loses via schoolboy to Crews, and then gets beaten up. Kalisto gets beaten up too. Well, this newfound push is not quite working out for Dolph.
Bryan makes Dolph vs. Kalisto and Crews at EC. Mickie and Alexa sign for their matches with Naomi and Becky. Mickie. Says. Another. Really. Slow. Pro-mo. Naomi hypes up WM being in Orlando and she wants to be SD women's champion and calls Bliss Lexi Boo Boo. A brawl breaks out and Naomi dives on the heels. The Ascension, Usos, and The Vaudevillains win a giant geek tag match. Chamber hype video. Orton vs. Cena is a standard TV match, but the RKO shockingly only gets 2. Cena gets the STF, but the ref's down and Bray comes in, but Luke counters him and the AA leads to the win. Okay match.
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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

WWE SD 1-31-17

Shane and Bryan brag about how great SD was at the Rumble. AJ will get a shot in the chamber, and a one on one rematch at some point too. Dean vs. AJ is made for the main event. Cena looks good with the WWE Title, and it's the first time he's held this variant of it. Wyatts come out and Bray says words. Harper teams with Cena against the Wyatts. RKO takes out Cena.
 Ellsworth comes out as a total heel in Carmella's wacky getup from last week. They skip down to the ring, which is glorious. "ELLSWORTH SHOULD BE DATIN THE BLUE THING!" JBL is great sometimes. Carmella gets the win with the Code of Silence. Dolph squashes Kalisto and goes to unmask him, but Crews saves him. Naomi and Becky team up against Bliss and Mickie. Naomi beats Bliss against with the moonsault. American Alpha wants competition and we get a giant cluster with every team on SD just fighting it out. Rhino and Heath stand tall, so I guess they'll get a shot. Dean vs. AJ is up. Dean gets a cloverleaf and a modified Rings of Saturn. Miz does commentary and then Baron joins him. Clash gives AJ the win. Miz hits the CCF on Dean and then Baron chases AJ off.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

WWE Royal Rumble 2017

The pre-show features HBK, Booker, and King on it. FINALLY video on "the numbers" of the Rumble. NOW we get a Charlotte streak recap video?  Why not put this on Raw? SD womens tag was moved to the pre-show. Nikki, THE LEADER OF THE WOMENS REVOLUTION, comes out and shakes her ass and pretends to the flash the fans. Faces run wild and hit baseball slides before Naomi hits a pescado for an ad break.  Naomi beats Bliss with a split legged moonsault. Well, that was unexpected. Mickie didn't get much of a chance to shine here.

Sheamus 2012 Rumble highlights showcase Sheamus. And what did that Rumble win and title wins get him? A RUMBLE PRE-SHOW MATCH! "They're waiting for their first taste of WWE gold" while fighting for the red and silver tag belts. Karl has adopted AJ's little belt thingy design for his gear. Well, not really much to this. If you had "post-break chinlock' on your bingo card, check your cards now! THE SECOND REF points out minor rope usage - so thank God that stip was put in place here. Cesaro locks on a sharpshooter, and his black, gold, and white gear looks awesome. Sheamus gets some ground and pound. Magic Killer to Sheamus leads to the Club winning with...a schoolboy to Cesaro.

Sasha looks so angry and annoyed walking down the aisle. WHY IS SHE A BABYFACE? Nia powers her into the ropes and Sasha jumps into...I think a bulldog attempt? Whatever they were trying with that bulldog, they needed to stop doing it 30 seconds before they did. Walking stretch muffler would be such a great finisher for Nia. So watch her win with the legdrop. Nia misses a charge, eats kicks, and eats a pair of shotgun knees off the top. Well, Sasha lost to the Samoan drop. Yikes.
YES! Stephanie has promises to cut Seth's balls off on Raw tomorrow! Also, Seth is banned from the AlamoDome. This Cena-AJ recap video really does give a great sense of history to tonight's match - not sure why it wasn't on SD. This Cena-AJ video has me hyped. Holy shit, this is the best non-WM hype video they've done in ages. HBK comes out to close out the pre-show. HBK really does move around far better than you'd expect him to at 50 with all his injuries. Hard to believe it's been almost seven years since his last match - it feels like pretty much the same era even if it's been almost twice as much time has passed compared to his '98-'02 retirement. HBK's receding skullet is amazing.

I'd swear Bayley's worn this getup before as a bit of an homage to Savage - I dig it. Charlotte's name is now officially Charlotte Flair. Not sure why it ever wasn't that, but it's a positive change - maybe not for her though since WWE will always own that name. Bayley hits a nice crossbody to the floor off the second rope. We get an amazing shot of the crowd while Cole alternates between WWE Universe and WWE Fans. So which is it? Charlotte is the best mid-ring shit-talker since Mark Henry. "You're just a fan, YOU'RE JUST LIKE THEM!"
Bayley hits a series of clubbing shots and a double-jump crossbody. Nice twisting flatliner and a Macho elbow gets 2. Moonsault from Charlotte is met with knees...nowhere near Charlotte. NATURAL SELECTION ON THE APRON GETS THE WIN! Good match, but nothing amazing. Charlotte's streak of PPV title matches stands at 16-0. They've done an awesome job hyping that up. Holy Foley ad. "I just dropped a deuce in my shorts!" Your Raw GM everybody! WWE Champions is hyped up. IT'S AN INCREDIBLE GAME. It's WWE Bejeweled. Universal Title match is already up. I forgot about the dangling Superman punch from Raw...and that's bad, and it's also bad that nothing on this show will likely top it.
Weird bit as Byron and Corey argue and Cole just goes into his robotic plug on Hulu like these guys don't even exist. Goddamn. Roman took FOREVER to come down the aisle. Why draw out the boos? Just come in and kick ass and MAYBE folks will like him. Roman being double teamed. CAN THE TOP WWE BABYFACE OVERCOME THE ODDS!? Roman forces him into the shark cage. They fight to the floor and KO gets chairs and bonks him in the ribs. Owens sets up a wacky chair pyramid and they tease going through it, but don't deliver.

Roman gets a table, but KO hits a backstabber for 2. BIG DOG BOMB GETS 2. FROG SPLASH OFF THE TOP THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR. Owens is nuts. KO gets 2 and also gets 2 off a Superman punch. Shouldn't that be the Super Size Punch? KO eats a Samoan drop through a  chair for 2. Owens avoids a spear through the table with a KICK TO THE FACE AND A STUNNER! Chair pyramid gets used when KO gets Superman punched off the top into it. Zero chance he didn't get concussed off that landing head-first into a sea of chairs. One-man running Shield-style powerbomb from Roman though the announce table. Roman has it all ready, but Braun attacks! RUNNING POWESLAM THROUGH THE CORNER TABLE BY BRAUN! KO "wins".

Enzo and Cass plug chicken."So what you're saying is that's it's the same story, different character!? BYRON MOTHERFUCKING SAXTON is pointing out WWE's own tropes and storyline flaws. Rumble NIGHT is the time to hype up the history of the Rumble match with highlights. Mick's getup is absolutely dreadful. The GMs and Commisioners meet in the tumbler room. Sami - a guy who is high on the spectrum and annoyed by everything. HOW IS HE A BABYFACE? Dean comes in wanting churros and oh yeah, he'll get a number too. Sami has Dean open his ball for him. "It's eight - no wait, it's upside-down...EIGHT!" I loved that.The King vs. The OUTLANDISH is up next.
Neville's character is pretty awesome - he has respect for his opponents, but THEY'RE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BEAT HIM. Neville might actually be able to save this division. MAYBE. Neville should be King of the Ring, not just King of the Cruiserweights. Mauro is getting buried a LOT here. Not much to the match, sadly. Crowd's dead. Swann has some amazing facial expressions. Standing frog splash gets 2 for Swann. Swann gets 2 off a victory roll to counter the deadlift German. Rich kick gets 2. Neville gets the tap off the Rings of Saturn/crossface - Batista's finish in 2010 and wins the title.

New Day plugs Vudu. VU-DU ROCKS! Yeah, this bit has jumped the shark. After a card of Raw matches, it's FINALLY time for SmackDown! AJ going for the BC-esque black and white gear tonight. Cena's got black shorts on ala '05, and it's a good look for him and they aren't jorts, so this look works really well. Cena charges in and eats an elbow. AA GETS 2.5. "LOOK AT CENA'S PHYSIQUE! IMAGINE BEING AJ AND SEEING THAT!" Vince is furiously jacking it backstage while feeding him lines. Cena hits 1 big lariat, but a second misses and the Pele misses largely, but gets 2. First, they call it and then they act like it hit perfectly. Electric chair facebuster, but the Network shits the bed briefly.


AA into the calf crusher, calf crusher countered into the STF. AJ GETS AN STF! Cena doing the figure four would make a lot more sense within the context of the match if they brought Styles being mentored by Flair in his career. AJ goes for a cross armbar. Flying legdrop into a powerbomb and the Clash gets 2.5! Springboard 450 meets knees, and a code red gets 2 for Cena. AA ON THE KNEE BY AJ GETS 2. The Tye breaker being a transitional move for AJ hurts Tye. Fallway...big ending/cutter thing gets 2. A+AA GETS 2! Styles Clash hits again, but AJ's too hurt to follow up. Forearm countered into an AA and then he rolls INTO ANOTHER AA. Now that's an FU! It's been 2 and a half years since Cena has been THE MAN and it feels good to see him with the WWE Title again. So good to see JBL hyping up this win as being important. It feels good to see that done again. And then they do some weird Make a Wish kid thing that feels shoehorned and exploitative. "THAT'S A CLASS ACT"...or maybe not.
Rumble hype leads to a Takeover recap. Steph going to face to face with Seth is hyped up. King gets his own intro! It's 2017 and of course Lawler has an Affliction-style shirt still. Of course NOW at the actual Rumble match, my feed shits the bed on Xbox One and crashes a few times. Enzo and Cass, maybe one of them, are in at 1. I think it's just Cass. Long-ass promo here from Enzo and Cass - even by their standards. Jericho is out at 2 in his Okada-esque gear. CAN HE PULL SIX STARS OUT OF CASS TONIGHT!? Watching on the PS4 seems to work far better. Mojo pounces on Kalisto. Jericho makes history being in the Rumble for over 4 hours. Jack Gallagher is out WITH HIS UMBRELLA!

Jack attacks with the umbrella...he's a face, right? Jack hits everyone with his umbrella...and he's a face? Also, King doesn't know who he is or how to say his name. Jericho gets crotched with the umbrella and twirls it. Mark Henry comes out and gets a good pop being from Texas. Henry hits a series of headbutts to everyone while King fucks up Jack's name again. Henry tosses Jack out. Now that was a dangerous bump to do holding an umbrella. And boy is that a strange sentence to type.BRAUN! is out and hits a giant chokeslam/spinebsuter to Mojo and takes him out. Cass goes for a boot, gets crotched, and eliminated. He tosses Kalisto into the pile on th floor. JESUS MOTHER OF FUCKING CHRIST THAT BUMP FROM KALISTO! Henry and Braun go at it...and the feed goes down and I think Henry is gone. Sami is out and goes at it with Braun. Show is out at 9.

Braun eliminates Show and TYE DEBUTS AT 10! TYE DEBUTS...in that fucking vest. Geek. Jumping forearms to Braun! 10 count punches! Sami and Tye go for a suplex, but they eat a suplex. Ellsworth and Carmella come out. Carmella having Ellsworth-face polka dot gear is something else. Sami and Tye ALMOST ELIMINATE BRAUN, BUT HE HANGS ON! Dean is out and hypes up James to run in together...and then Dean just leaves him hanging. Ellsworth is gone!

Baron's out. Roar spot for Braun. Tye's gone. HELLUVA KICK TO BRAUN. BARON TAKES OUT BRAUN! NEW COLOR SCHEME FOR NEW DAY! Dark blue and orange...kinda looks more serious I guess. Miz is out and Big E comes out after and smacks Miz's ass with an abdominal stretch. HANDSOME RUSEV IS OUT! Risev darts down and kicks ass. He attacks Sheamus and Cole talks about the League of Nations. CESARO IS OUT. Shame it's not Angle. Swing to Sami! Another to Dean. KOFI! Big E...almost. CORBIN SWUNG! Sheamus begs off, but Rusev superkicks Cesaro. Rusev goes to eliminate Cesaro, but Sheamus saves - so he's actually a good friend.

Woods is 20. Not much going on. Bray is 21. Crews is out. Crews should be here to just be tossed by Brock. Goldberg better be next based on the chants for him. Sheamus and Cesaro take out New Day. They get taken out by Jericho! Orton's out. RKO TO BARON! RKO TO RUSEV! SPRINGBOARD BY SAMI INTO AN RKO! Dolph is out. Dolph hits a double jumping DDT to Miz and Crews. King, the heel, says that HE'S A LOSER. Harper is 25 and gets no reaction. Harper eliminates Crews. HARPER LARIATS BRAY! SUPERKICK TO ORTON! ABIGAIL TO BRAY, BUT NO, ORTON SAVES! Well, if nothing else, at least Harper's stock rose with the Rumble.

BROCK IS OUT! Dean and Dolph tossed instantly. GERMANS! F5S! ENZO'S OUT. ENZO GONNA DIE! GLORIOUS bump off a lariat and he's tossed! Everything with Brock has been fun. Horrible for Dean tho. GOLDBERG IS OUT! SPEAR AND A LARIAT TAKE OUT BROCK! Jackhammer to Sami! Wyatts gang up on Goldberg. DOUBLE SPEAR! TAKER IS OUT! BROCK VS. TAKER! Taker appears mid-ring and goozles Goldberg, but the heels jump them. Goldberg tosses Rusev. Taker tossed Baron! SPEAR TO TAKER! TAKER ELIMINATES GOLDBERG! Chokeslam city! 30 is THE BIG DOG! Roman vs. Taker. The crowd goes WILD for Taker vs. Goldberg, and we'll get Taker vs. Roman. ROMAN ELIMINATES TAKER!


Roman eliminates Jericho and it's down to Roman, Bray, or Orton. Well, only Roman has any real momentum.I hope Bray wins this thing. He's the worst of the three, has the least momentum, and is the least over - but whatever. Give him a gold watch...or just eliminate him. Fucking hell. Now it's down to Orton or Roman. RKO AND HE TAKES OUT ROMAN! ORTON VS. CENA PART 393383838383! Or not. So Bray wins at the chamber and we get Orton vs. Bray in...the opener? Is there anything they can do to heat these guys up so they actually feel like a big deal before WM?


Rumble pre-show screens

Rumble show screens -