Wednesday, March 27, 2024

AEW Dynamite 3-27-24 - Ospreay vs. Shibata

 



Ospreay vs. Shibata and the Bucks vs. Private Party should be outstanding, and Swerve vs. Takeshita is a can't-miss great match too. Ospreay vs. Shibata OPENS THE SHOW and we get some crazy gorgeous shots to start. Shibata gets an early cross armbreaker, but can't land the PK due to Ospreay's speed. Shibata corner dropkick is met with AN OSPREAY DROPKICK AND OSPREAY DOING THE CORNER FOREARMS! FOREARM WARFARE ON THE FLOOR by Ospreay and Shibata lands uppercuts to respond and a suplex.


Shibata sets him up on the barricade and hits a running yakuza kick! The corner run-in kick hits and then the forearms! DUELING SNAP GERMANS! HOW CAN SHIBATA DO ANY OF THIS!? Handspring kick by Ospreay is met with a ankle lock and transitioned into a modified STF! Nasty Kawada kick sends Ospreay down with JUST ONE SHOT! PK is avoided but the kick to the back hits! Sleeper into a sleeper suplex by Shibata! Shibata eats a rope and then eats a draping stomp, a draping missile dropkick to the neck and an Oscutter for 2!



Forearms and lariats until the hook kick! TIGER DRIVER AND HE'S UP IN THE SEATED POSITION but the Hidden Blade ends it! THIS MATCH RULED! Osrpreay vs. Danielson is hyped up with a Danielson hype video. Renee meets with the EVPs Matthew and Nicholas Jackson, who offends them right away by saying Private Party beat them in the first AEW Tag Title tourney! They say that lightning doesn't strike twice and WE GET A FERRARI SHOT and sadly it's not Neil Breen - but Okada!




Private Party are now just Quen and Zay - which is good. SILLY STRING ON THE FLOOR OFF THE BARRICADE! QUEN EATS A FALCON ARROW OFF THE BARRICADE! OH MY GOD THAT RULED! Zay superkicks Nicholas and Matthew in pink eats some shots before an Asai moonsault by Zay! Zay gets 2 off a springboard crossbody on Matthew! Zay eats a powerbomb/sliced bread and Quen does the old RNR Express bit of taking his partner over to get the tag in. 




Quen eats a suplex on the apron! TK DRIVER COUNTERED INTO A CRADLE FOR 2! MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK IS AVOIDED AND GIN AND JUICE HITS BUT MATTHEW ESCAPES! MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK BY PRIVATE PARTY GETS 2! Nicholas ballshot leads to a Zay belt shot for 2 when Matthew puts his foot on the rope! Quen 630 misses and the EVP Trigger ends it!


Jazwares hype before DON CALLIS VERBALLY DEMOLISHES SWERVE and hypes up THE ALPHA. YOUR HOUSE IS IN THE DON CALLIS FAMILY'S NEIGHBORHOOD! Darby and Tony Hawk are together and they talk about how Darby was going to climb for Tony's charity. Tony rides a bit and plants off of Darby's broken foot because of course. Jericho meets with Hook and says that he'll mentor him if he wants and Hook tells him he knows who he is. 


Mercedes is out for the women's 4-way. Awkward spot in the corner with Anna and Willow with Anna going for the corner foot choke too early and then Anna has to scooch over for the Kris seated bodyblock. Code Blue hits and Mercedes called it early. Missile dropkick by Willow! DOCTOR BOMB WINS IT FOR WILLOW! Willow vs. Julia Hart is official for Dynasty!


OC and Trent are out to face the Undisputed Kingdom. Quick start with Taven brawling on the floor. BENNETT HITS A FLIP DIVE! POCKETS DIVE ON THE KINGDOM! Trent tornado DDT into an OC pendulum DDT! Trent gets a jackknife pin and wins it! Matthew and Nicholas INTERRUPT THE HUG! They ascend from the EVPvator, smile and smirk, and descend. Incredible.



Cope-Cage III recap! Cope says the 40 year story is over - it's time to move on and defend the title! Swerve vs. THE ALPHA is up and Swerve does a cool fippy doo to avoid a hammer throw. Takeshita lands a giant forearm shiver to the jaw and Don hypes up Takeshita being a decathlete and playing 10 sports! Swerve lands an uppercut to the neck and a back xuplex into a backbreaker for 2. Rolling suplex from Swerve leads to Takeshita absorbing it and hitting a brainbuster! Snap German by Swerve leads to the Alpha responding with a sick forearm and sending him to the floor!


Crazy flip dive by Takeshita! Whateverthefuckthatheadscissordriver was ruled! SWERVE STOMP ON THE APRON! HOLY SHIT WHAT AN INSANE MATCH! JML DRIVER IS AVOIDED AND TURNED INTO A GERMAN AND THEN THE POWER DRIVE KNEE GETS 2.9! Takeshita eats a buckle and the house call! SWERVE STOMP HITS! 2.9! 2.9! 2.9! Head chop misses from Swerve but a ramming headbutt hits! SWERVE STOMP TO COUNTER A POWERBOMB! BIG PRESSURE AKA THE JML DRIVER WINS IT!



SWERVE'S TIME IS NOW! Well, Dynasty - but damn! Joe says that they will sign the match next week and he may think he's ready - BUT YOU ARE NOT THAT MAN!






Monday, March 25, 2024

WWE Raw 3-25-24 - CM Punk Returns to Chicago

 


Just got home from work, so what the heck - might as well watch live. Cody hypes up Pat and Cole and says they're in the awkward phase before Mania. He talks about going to Anthony's wedding and paying for his bachelor party. He hypes up the Wrestling Club and they'll be going both nights. "I pretend to be the champion because THE CHAMPION ISN'T HERE!" is a fantastic Mania video package line. Cody says he broke up the Rock-Roman wankfest and now he's going to POINT TO THE SIGN and he can't do it alone! He says it's time to beat the final boss and BOOM ROCK SHOWS UP and damn the production has gotten so much better.


A holy shit chant breaks out and gets muted. Ugh - it's 2024, that chant has been a thing for 25 years on TV. Rock comes in, talks shit and leaves. Ricochet and JD are up and not even Samantha Irvin can make JD's name sound good. Ricochet gets the better of him before a break and they talk about their 2K game ratings for a bit - which is a different thing to be sure. Gorgeous diving lariat gets 2 with the help of a standing SSP. Recoil gets 2 thanks to Dom and a springboard 450 gets turned into a cradle by JD for 2. Devil Inside leads to a DESTROYER COUNTER OUTTANOWHERE! Dom goes up and knocks the ref down "accidentally" leading to Ricochet being crotched and Dom getting tossed out. SHOOTING STAR BODYBLOCK WINS IT. This was fun.


Punk walks backstage with a Cubs belt. Taylor Rotunda's VO for the Bray doc is outstanding. Punk comes out and hops around the announce table and says his arm doesn't work - but his mouth still does OH HEY APRIL. He says WM may need a ref and The Rock isn't talking about him because a decade ago, he learned his arms were too short to box with God! Drew likes to talk crap and Drew brags about taking his arm out. Punk says he's a man in a skirt and Drew says you can be cancelled for that now! Drew says the injury is divine intervention and he has trouble taking off his first shirt for the second one because of his biceps - which Punk doesn't have to worry about and for a guy who is straight edge, he spends a lot of time in rehab! He gets in a line about Drew being the chosen one by who and then Seth comes out.

Punk calls them both dipshits and Drew says PG, BROTHER! Drew says Punk is his biggest Stan and Seth kicks Drew and Stomps him. LeRae vs. Nile is up to do things. Quick win here so I guess like everything went long here. Goofy stuff with Awesome Truth backstage before New Day vs. DIY is setup. Judgment Day runs in after a Johnny dive for a DQ. Truth runs wild on all of JD. Priest hits the edge on Truth and then it's time for the double stomp. Cody says he can't repeat what Rock said, but it was a promise he can't keep.



GUNTHER says that not only will Sami not beat him, but he won't beat Bronson Reed tonight either - THANK YOU! GUNTHER in Christian's getup is great. Andrade vs. Vinci is up and Andrade starts off with a Wahoo-level overhand chop. Dragon screw, the back elbow and the twisting death rider end it. Rhea and Dom come out and they reference her going viral with the stinkface stuff at house shows. Becky says that Rhea posting her ass for attention is one thing - while she busts hers to prove herself. The long game is skill and merit and survival! Rhea says that at Mania, she'll make Roux call her mami and Becky says that you can think it's cute - but it's not. Her father never got to meet her daughter or see the mother she's become. Becky slugs Dom and she brawls with Rhea!



Gable tells Sami to get his head out of his ass before Sami vs. Bronson is up. Sami gets a flip dive, but eats a shoulderblock off the apron. Sami sends him down off a single clothesline, which is just...really weird-looking. TONS OF CLUBBING CLOTHESLINES IN THE CORNER FROM BRONSON. Gunther distraction leads to the Tsunami and the win for Bronson! Chad talks about Sami doubting himself because that's what Gunther does - he plants the seeds into your head to make you doubt yourself. 



Jey chats and Seth tells him that things don't feel right. MAIN EVENT JEY vs. JTTS Shinsuke is up! Nak takes him down for an ad break. Sliding German by Nakamura before a KINSHASA TO THE NECK! Jimmy and Solo come out before Seth and Cody are out! AND COLE DOESN'T CALL HIM FREAKIN'! Drew Future Shocks him on the floor before a CM Punk chant breaks out. Superkick and the spear win it for MAIN EVENT JEY! 



Cody brawls with Jimmy and Solo before THE ROCK WHOOPS THAT ASS NEAR THE EXIT! We get a fantastic walk and brawl with Rock talking shit and kicking ass. They go outside IN THE RAIN and Rock keeps whooping that ass! Rock told him he couldn't bleed and NOW HE IS BLEEDING! MAMA RHODES LOOK! Rock gets his MAMA RHODES WEIGHT BELT and puts it on his belt and Rock says YOU GONNA LEARN ABOUT HARD TIMES, BOY! "DONT FUCK WITH THE FINAL BOSS!" This was all money.








Wednesday, March 20, 2024

AEW Dynamite and Rampage 3-20-24 - Cope vs. Cage III

 


Rampage is on after Dynamite, which is a loaded lineup. We see Cope and Cage walk in before Kingston and Okada. Tony is mid-ring and brings out Mercedes. She cuts the same promo as last week, but goes into more history with Willow. The lights go out and Julia and Skye come in, but Willow and Kris save. Okada meets with Alex Marvez and they demand that he speaks to Okada in Japanese. Nice recap of everything with Renee in front of the ring after Okada comes out looking so cool.


Okada DDT on the floor gets a bunch of replays as per the Jacksons' request. Kingston takes some disrespectful kicks and lands a ton of sick chops. Kingston lands a giant lariat for 2. Kneeling chops and headbutts! DISCUS LARIAT HITS FOR OKADA! Kingston partially blocked it though! Inoki enzuiguri hits for Kingston, but THE LANDSLIDE HITS! RAINMAKER ENDS IT AND OKADA IS THE NEW CONTINENTAL CROWN CHAMPION! THE BASTARD PAC IS HERE! He wanted competition and he'll get it! 


Backstage, Swerve chats with Renee. Willow talks about being in more street fights than anyone else in AEW after tonight. Kris thanks Mercedes for the save last week. THE HOOK SIGNAL is here and then Jericho is out after him with an ill-fitting Seagal-esque jacket. Jericho eats a beating and then goes up for an axehandle to meet a northern lights release. REDRUM IS ON but Jericho breaks the grip. Cradle off the walls gets the win. This went on too long. Cole buries Wardlow for losing and looks a decade younger with a shaved face instead of a grey beard.


Renee chats with Jericho about earning Jericho's respect and he wants to say something to him next week. Ospreay comes out and apologizes for being a prick before but says he needs some maple syrup! He says Danielson said he couldn't walk in his shoes and he did more than Danielson ever did in Japan. He wants Shibata and now he's got a mortgage to pay, a kid to raise, cats and dogs and a point to prove! HE WANTS SHIBATA NEXT WEEK! 



Mariah May and Toni Storm face off with Rosa and Deonna. Rosa half-speeds it up for a bit. Hip attack in the corner, but Toni's piledriver meets a jackknife cradle and that ends it. Swerve is out and we get Swerve versus THE BUTCHER! Now I was tired, but this is slick! Swerve busts out a BICEP POSE ALONGSIDE THE SHORTARM SCISSOR! Swerve wants to hang Joe with his chain! Joe warns him about wanting to box with a god and having that belief makes the fans believe, but they can't be champion and neither can you!



DON CALLS INTERRUPTS!? And he's so hated, he can barely be heard in his home country. Swerve has the same amount of wins as Takeshita and now he wants that match! Cope comes out in Toronto Maple Leaf gear and looks killer! Cope lands a baseball slide and Taz calls him Edge and then just says well it had to happen! Cope puts a Bruins jersey on Cage and beats his ass in Maple Leafs jersey. Cope makes an announce table ladder bridge. Ladder hinge to the balls by Cope! Very odd video game street fight vibe here for the blood feud - but it's a lot of fun. 



Cage dives onto Cope through a table! Frog splash misses, and Cope locks on the crossface - but Cage doesn't quit. Cope slams him on a hockey net. Shayna ballshots Cope with a hockey stick and Cage busts it over his back. Barb wire chair conchairto misses for Cage, who wants a killswitch on the barb wire chair and Cope goes for it. Cope goes for a stick assist, but can't hear a tap so he uses his drawstring like a gourot and the goons arrive. 

Menard and Garcia save! Wayne gets tossed over and he clips Killswitch with his foot! Cope dives on the pile off a ladder! The goons are cuffed and Cage eats punches and a spear! They tie him up in the corner and he goes for SPIKE! Cope hits a billion ball shots and spike to the balls, but Cage doesn't quit until he raises it overhead!








Wednesday, March 13, 2024

AEW Dynamite 3-13-24 - Big Business in Bos$$ton




AEW is debuting a new big TV show name with this one, likely celebrating Mercedes Mone's official debut in the company - not counting her being in the crowd at ALL IN 2023. We start off with Renee hyping up the show and a Mercedes Benz MAYBACH arrives! AND THE CEO IS HERE ON THE RAMP with a new theme that is a giant upgrade from her NJPW one. The CEO chant is massive here too! She says she can't wait to tear it up with everyone in this division after talking about her history in Boston and calls out Willow - BUT NOW it's MERCEDES MONE AND SHE'S ALL ELITE!


Joe threatens Wardlow and says he is once again sent by lesser men to pay for crimes he didn't commit. We get epic music alongside STORY TIME WITH ADAM COLE, literally telling the tale of Wardlow being held back and now being unleashed. The World title starts things off and Wardlow jumps him quickly. Joe built himself up so much since ALL IN and has transferred a lot of that onto Wardlow here.



They bring up Warjoe, which I have no memory of. GIANT whisper in the wind by Wardlow! WARDLOW FAKED OUT THE FAKEOUT! They're doing a great job making Wardlow feel like he could win it. Shouldertackle gets 2. Wardlow fakes out a knee injury and gouges the eyes! Corner knee strike hits for 2.9! Joe gets corner punches and a walking powerbomb! Joe gets the choke and wins it before Swerve comes out pissed with a chain! Marvez talks to the Bucks and wants to know why Okada joined them before he's told to call him HIS FULL PASSPORT NAME - THE RAINMAKER KAZUCHIKA OKADA! Okada demands he sing happy birthday to Matthew and he does! 



Cocky Elite vs. Pac, Penta, and Kingston are up and Okada works so great with Kingston - and that will work out even better when Okada wins the Continental Crown. Ballshot and the rainmaker end it. Okada lifts the Continental Belt up high  OH MY GOD CHAMPION DICKHEAD OKADA IS GOING TO BE GREAT!


Tony hypes up AEW Dynasty with Danielson against Ospreay! He gets a BRUV chant and hypes up Danielson as a man who did everything he could to entertain people no matter how many people were there and Danielson demanded that he face him to prove who the best is. "RESTORE THE FEELING! BRUV I AM THE FEELING!" YOU PUT THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD AGAINST THE BEST OF THE 20TH CENTURY AND ONLY 1 WALKS OUT THE WINNER! Goddamn what a great promo!



Deonna talks to Toni and says she wants a tag match. "The shoe is headed right up your ass!" - I think she'd like that. Bullet Club Gold is out for White vs. Darby and the goons are sent to the back. Darby's out with a revamped look using the bat and more Sting-like paint. Darby eats some corner offense and some nasty chops before sending White to the floor and landing a standing swanton. 


Big basement crossbody hits before a coffin splash! Ospreay goes for a coffin drop on the apron and White moves and Darby MISSES THE APRON. Jesus what a bump and White ends it easily afterwards. Blade Runner ends it! Darby goes for a handshake and Jay GIVES HIM THE GUN TO THE FACE and the Gunns jump him! 




They go to Pillmanize the leg with the bat before The Acclaimed come out and save Darby before JAY CHAIRSHOTS BILLY AND THE BANG BANG SCISSOR POWERS EXPLODE! Excellent stuff here to further the story. Pillmanizing with the bat! Good - they needed a killer edge again. LionHook vs. Gates of Agony is up and Jericho is looking Seagal-esque with this ill-fitting jacket. They finish off this nothing of a match with a Liontamer/Redrum tapout looking...weird.


Willow is hyped up as taking out Mone before Riho chats with Mone! Riho goes for flippy armdrags but WILLOW IS TOO BIG TO MOVE FOR THEM and it's perfect. DOCTOR BOMB HITS! GOOD LORD THAT RULED. The world needs more Willow vs. Riho matches! Julia and Skye Blue attack Willow! Mercedes slugs Skye and stares down Julia before laying her out with the wacky Gori DDT. 



Kingston vs. Okada is ON DYNAMITE NEXT WEEK!? Jeez between that and Cope-Cage III, that is loaded!