Monday, May 7, 2018

Table for 3 - Show Stealers

This has Shane McMahon, AJ Styles, and Kurt Angle - so two of the best of all-time alongside Shane, who has in fact worked with them in memorable matches. They start off talking about Shane getting winded at WM against AJ before Kurt talks about his great matches with AJ in TNA. In a still-surreal bit, we get clips of Hard Justice 2008 with GWN graphics on it and that horrible forced 16:9 cropping.

Shane talks about AJ working stiff before Kurt buries him for slicing him open on a jab at KOTR '01. That was a truly insane match. We get more clips of TNA with them talking about Kurt taking a suplex on the stage before going through how insane Shane vs. Kurt was, and we see Shane take that nasty belly to belly bump off the glass to the floor. Then he suplexes him through the glass, goes to the other side, does it again - but the glass doesn't break and Shane just thuds again. Goddamn this match had to take years off his life before Shane just gets chucked through it.
Shane talks about that match being a great achievement for him. They got a big ovation from the boys and then he saw his wife in tears. Vince apparently almost stopped it three times. Kurt says they aren't young anymore and wonders what they do to train. Shane says he chases his kids. AJ says he's learned what his body can and can't do and we get clips of him with DDP Yoga. Kurt says he's doing yoga and stretching now and it's the only thing that works for him now. AJ says he loves burpees and Shane buries him for not lifting weights.

AJ says he's never seek Kurt blow up ever and he always wore him down. Kurt says AJ isn't the only one who complained about him being too intense. Everyone compares kid stories, and Kurt has a 15 year old and it scares him because he'll be 70 when his 1 year old graduates high school. AJ loves having a daughter now and how they make you think before they do something and point out how stupid you are. Shane says he came back in part for his kids to see him live and then Vince called him. Shane says that 10 minutes before his return match at Mania, he told his kids to come out with him and how they just started doing his dane and stealing the show.

Kurt calls AJ the best in the world right now and Shane agrees. AJ gives credit to Kurt for making him better. He enjoys finding new ways to still be great even with father time working against him a bit now. Kurt says AJ is teachable and a lot of people aren't - he's open to learning what can make him better. AJ credits Kurt for being the same way and Kurt says he was wrestling main events within his second month. Kurt first took a bump in November '98, debuted in October (actually November, but his vignettes were October) and won the title by October of '00.
Kurt says he had no idea what he was doing as champion. Kurt says that he was beloved in Pittsburgh and he probably wouldn't get booed - so then they booed him. Kurt says that night was a big key to his character becoming what it did. Kurt says he preferred to work heel and likes making an ass out of himself. AJ says now he prefers being a babyface - and with him being a fighting underdog character, it's better for him throughout his career. Shane says he likes being an instigator more so he prefers being a heel. AJ thanks them both for great experiences over the years and Shane teases a triple threat. AJ says they'll just toss him around.

Sunday, May 6, 2018

WWE Backlash 2018 

 The pre-show starts with talking heads then we get a great Roman vs. Joe video with Joe choking him out constantly. A WWE 24 doc is being made on Ronda Rousey. Miz vs. Bryan is hyped up, and oh yeah, he's facing Cass - so Miz is costing Bryan the match. Miztourage reunites backstage. He wants their help tonight agaisnt Seth, but Bo says they're done with him. A Charlotte-Carmella video airs and the Iiconics are out to be wacky. Bayley and Sasha have a terribly-acted skit.Nia vs. Alexa is hyped with a NIA JAX SOCIAL MEDIA BARRAGE video. Bayley comes out and is over again by some miracle.
Bayley and Ruby have a solid little match. Bayley gets a bunch of cradles for 2, but Riott dominates before throwing her outside and then menacing before her goons show up to be silly. Ruby hits a flatliner and does the logical thing afterwards - a silly armbar. WTF? Ruby hits her wacky double knees spot. Bayley hits Sarah with an awkward baseball slide rana. Roitt kick ends it. This was darn good overall.
 This is Miz's best look ever - something about this red and gold getup just works. Miz dominates after a nice head-dropping DDT. Seth hits an X factor and Miz gets a brief edge by bonking Seth's head on the apron. Seth carries him around and hits a sidewinding uranage for 2. High Fly Flow hits for 2 and gets a billion replays because it looks so great. They fight on the apron and Seth goes for the ripcord knee, but Miz ducks and Seth's knee hits the post. Miz gets a long figure four, but Seth escapes. Seth hits an awesome high kick, but Miz hits the finale for 2.9. Seth hits the superplex and Miz counters the falcon arrow into hte finale for 2.9999! Woah - that was a perfect false finish. Seth avoids a super Finale, but Miz avoids a super curb stomp and gets 2 off a cradle, but Seth HITS THE CURB STOMP TO WIN. This was easily the best singles match of Miz's career.

Alexa is out and she just has IT. She didn't come off with that vibe in NXT, but has become a dominant act despite being so small just due to her presence. They start things off with some awkwardness as Alexa just kind of stands around a bit while Nia wonders what to do. Nia steamrolls her. Nia gets dumped to the floor off a Vader bomb attempt. Nia almsot gets sunset bombed, but Alexa kicks her legs nad she bumps on her ass. Coach then says that ALEXA WINNING WOULD BE ONE OF THE GREATEST WINS IN THE HISTORY OF THE TITLE. Holy shit. Nia catches her off twisted bliss and Samoan drops her to win after nine decades. Nia cuts a generic empowering promo about being extraordinary and unique using every possible cliche in a single promo. NIA JAX ECHOING THE SENTIMENT OF WWE'S BE A STAR MOVEMENT, AND SINCE 2011, BE A STAR HAS HELPED THOUSANDS. Just human beings talking as they do.

The Roman vs. Brock stuff is recapped before Joe is intervewed by a generic human about Roman. Orton comes out and then Jeff does, with Orton bopping his arms to Jeff's theme. Jeff has a new all-shiny top look that's both neat and odd - I prefer the sleeves being colorful. We get a legends reunion version of every match they've ever had. Jeff goes for a springboard, but Orton dropkicks him to the floor. Orton back suplexes him three times on the barricade. Jeff jumps up and flies forward with...what I guess was supposed to be a lariat and gets the atomic drop>legdrop for 2. Whisper in the Wind gets 2 and Orton gets a powerslam for 2. Jeff misses Hardyac arrest. Twist and a swanton end it. That was a match.
Elias comes out and plays a tribute to Springsteen. Elias gets a boo/yay spot off of TEASING LEAVING. Then New Day sadly comes in and Elias says he knows they're intimidated being in the building with the biggest musical act on Earth - but it isn't time for autographs. And then Aiden shows up for Rusev Day. Then Jose, Titus Worldwide, and Breezango are out. Elias is Oliver Douglas in the world of Hooterville. AND THEN BOBBY ROODE JUMPS HIM TO END IT. Hey, this was unbearable at times - but it served a storyline purpose sorta. Roode dances to Jose's theme in his robe and looks very white.

Bryan is a third-match guy on a B-show. Yowza. Cass is a less-charismatic and less-impressive version of Test. Bryan kicks the leg. Cass has found a way to somehow try to hide his body while still wearing trunks. Between the giant trucks and enormous kneepads, why not just wear long tights? Bryan gets the missile dropkick. Yes kicks are met with a big spinebuster. Okay, so Bryan will probably win - but it'll be a fluke. They're telling too much of a story with Cass being arrogant. Cass is doing a fine job of raising his arm in the air. Cass eats some crossfaces and the Yes Lock ends it. Glad to see Bryan win clean here. Pleasantly surprised by the booking there. They actually did a nice job telling a story that can lead to Cass and Bryan being a team - which wouldn't be the worst thing for Cass. Cass jumps him after the match tho. Cass tosses him around post-match and big boots him.

Charlotte and Carmella have an astonishingly boring match. Lots of chinlocks and iffy-looking offense throughout. Charlotte counters a sleeper with a backpack stunner. Carmella gets the Code of Silence, but Charlotte escapes. Damn. I was hoping Carmella was being DQed for hitting her with the Cone of Silence from Get Smart - then this would be over. Moonsault is met with a knee clip and a win for Carmella.
AJ-Nakamura is up. "I hear Nakamura went to a children's basketball game and punctured all the balls!" Corey with a great line there. Nakamura bails to start. They brawl and AJ eats the apron kneedrop with a bit of a run up the steps to get 2. Super Kinshasa gets 2, as does a Landslide. AJ avoids a kinshasa with a tossing chair shot - but the chair kicks back and slices his cheek. AJ gets the calf crusher, but AJ eats a triangle choke. Ushigoroshi into a backbreaker lands after a bullet forearm to the neck. BACK TO BACK LOW BLOWS and then a double boot low blow to one another leads to ANOTHER DOUBLE DOWN. So this teases a double countout for a match MATCH TO SETTLE A DOUBLE COUNTOUT.
Braun and Lashley vs. KO and Sami is up, with them bringing up that Braun took Lashley out of the Rumble. Lashley tosses guys around. Braun comes in, bowls over everyone, wins. Then they beat up KO more and powerslam Sami. Also, Lashley was here. The Roman-Joe video hypes up how Roman should've won, but Vince didn't smarten him up before WM. "ROMAN REIGNS IS A FAILURE. END OF STORY. PERIOD! Thank you Joe. TU-BA TU-BA TU-BA! Joe gets a huge Joe chant coming out, and it's mind-boggling that he won't be winning. Roman is ricking perriwinkle tonight. How can anyone boo this man!?

 Joe starts things off fast and lands a snap jab before kneeing him in the ribs a ton. Then they fight on the floor and Joe just chucks him through an announce table. He tosses him over all the other ones.  We need at least another dozen announce tables set up for Joe to toss Roman through. Then we get a long chinlock and the match dies until Roman recovers, then the fans boo. Elbow suicida to the floor. Then Joe slows things down with a long, long, super-long armlock. They brawl and Roman gets the drive by. Another drive by is countered by THE CHOKE! Roman escapes and gets a Superman punch gets 2. A spear meets a boot and then a spear gets 2 before Joe gets the rope. Choke again. Cradle again, 2. Coquina clutch is on! Roman gets the rope and a ton of boos. Roman hits another spear to win. BOOOOO!

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Impact Wrestling and Wrestling Revolver - PENTA DOES IOWA

So this is a neat little surprise show. It's a bit out of nowhere, and they apparently had a wacky Twitch stream thing before the show. Jason Cade hits a codebreaker for 2. APRON DVD BY SHANE STRICKLAND. Swerve stomp hits on the floor leads to an Ibushi knee strike for 2. Famous B distracts Strickland, who eats a super Celtic Cross and then Black Magic ends it. Josh hypes up a triple threat tag next. The Dirty, Zero Gravity, and the Night Ryderz are out. They look like a dime store version of War Machine, and Josh says they should win since he likes the beginning of their theme. The teams get name graphics, but not the individuals. Sonjay marks out over every single thing the Night Ryderz do. This is a match of a billion moves. Snap German sets up a double stomp from the Ryderz for 2.5 and the Dirty wins it.

Taya vs. Jessicka Havok is up, and Josh says people don't think Taya could just be a future Knockouts champion - but a future multi-time champion. So apparently, her biggest fans can't imagine her going on a winning streak. Now, Josh and Sonjay are talking off-mic, but can still be heard complaining about the audio. Havok and Taya have a really sloppy match - with Havok missing a corner hip attack by a mile before Taya lands the shotgun knees. Havok chops her on the post before missing one, giving Taya a chance to rebound. Apron slapfest leads to a double big boot. Taya gets set up top and eats a Final Cut before a face wash hits. Taya schoolgirls her to counter a tombstone and wins.

The Open Invite Title is on the line and Gringo Loco is out along with a billion guys - and Rich Swann. "All Night Long" is played briefly before they just opt to have Rich sing it. And then the stream dies. Swann wins with a phoenix splash and wins the Open Scramble title. Intermission leads to an Impact recap video. Sonjay and Josh talk for a while.

The Manscout Jake Manning is out to face Tommy Dreamer in 2018. Josh says that Tommy told him to tell people he's 47 and he loves wrestling as much as he can now. Jake says that unfortunately, he hasn't signed for a House of Hardcore match. He signed for a regular match and it's just a mistake - like when Paul Heyman didn't sign your checks in ECW! Ha! Tommy says it's great the scouts are letting women like him in - even if he's the ugliest woman Balls ever had sex with.

TOMMY OUTWRESTLES JAKE MANNING! A woman, kid, and another kid chop Manning on the floor. Cutter outtanowhere for 2 for Tommy. ECW baseball slide dropkick is turned into the HOH dropkick. Dreamer's DDT gets 2. Tommy goes into the ladder and a double arm DDT gets 2. Manning does a trust fall off the ladder for 2. Jake brings a temt in the ring and a "let's go camping!" chant breaks out before he kendo sticks the knees. SPICOLLI DRIVER INTO THE TENT WINS IT!
Clayton Gains comes out to face Eli Drake and drink protein shakes. Stream goes wonky and Eli wins and Eli cuts a promo on Penta. OVE is out to face The Rascalz and Sydal. Topes and lopes for everyone! Tower of doom! X19 to Sami Sami hits a pedigree shoulderbreaker to Xavier, but eats a super meteora from Sydal! Triple tombstone leads to 2.5. Xavier hits a double backflip Pele! Super cutter in mid-air hits and wins it! Sami the Promoter then cuts a promo undercutting the heel act saying it's an honor to share the ring with Sydal and the Rascalz are the youngest, hungriest team out there.

Penta faces Jimmy Jacobs for the Impact World Title. Jimmy Jacobs is in a wacky zombie princess getup. They have a giant walk and brawl for a few decades. A board and a billion chairs are used. A gaint platform with chairs is set up and PENTA piledrives him through it to retain.

Friday, April 27, 2018

Greatest Royal Rumble 2018

WWE has hyped this show up more than anything outside of a 'Mania card in years - and the card itself is pretty stacked. The Greatest Royal Rumble itself has 50 people in it, including free agents like Rey, while Roman battles Brock in what should be an interesting match if only for what it meanst he future holds for Brock. With him not entering the USADA testing pool, I don't think he's going back to UFC until at least that happens - but Dana is so gung-ho that Brock is back in due time that it has to be a matter of when and not if he comes back unless Brock is playing him for a fool. With GRR, I'll be able to cover some of it live and some after I get back from work - so let's at least cover whatever can be covered live. The pre-show panel is outside, which  looks odd, but cool.

The pre-show has a ton of needless talking and a great Nakamura-AJ hype video. AJ is interviewed and Booker calls him "Shinsuke". Wow. An oustanding hype video for Brock vs. Roman sets up the main event before Heyman comes in and says Roman has no chance against Brock. Heyman hypes him up as the only man to survive five F5s and says that Brock is a former and future UFC Champion. JR hypes Brock as the best cage fighter ever - so while they didn't tell the UFC-side of the story before the show, they're selling it now. Weird. Booker does a terrible Macho Man impression while they show off the GRR trophy. NOW we get HHH vs. Cena hype, right on the pre-show. I like that now, on the Kickoff, we get the beginning, middle, and end of the build for HHH vs. Cena's final match.

 The show starts off with a singing of both the Saudia Arabian and US national anthems. REST IN MACHKA! These videos are almost identical to the WWE All-Stars game where they just copy and paste audio clips to make a feud. The commentary team talks about the nation's 2030 diversity plan  before HHH and Cena come out to work the opener. So beyond being the King of Kings, HHH is also The Creator - so he's Jesus and God. HHH slaps ahnds with fans while Cena comes out with kids dressed as him. HHH shoves down Cena while Cole rattles off WWE Facts - including HHH apparently now going in WM 22 as WWE Champion.

Cena wins a tie-up so they go for a slow knuckle lock. HHH slugs away and tosses Cena into the corner. HHH gets a sleeper! Cena escapes and get the tackle. HHH rolls out of the protobomb and lands a lariat. HHH hits the facebuster for 2. HHH gets the "you can't see me" fistdrop for 2. HHH gets a powerbomb for 2. Cena locks on the STF, but HHH gets close to the ropes and then HHH kicks him off and spinebusters him for 2. They treade finishers and HHH turns an AA into a sunset flip for 2. HHH is locked into the STF, but turns it into the crossface. Cena hoists him up for an AA and hits it! Corner slingshot into another AA for the win.

Cena talks about not missing GRR for anything. He thanks them for their unmatched hospitality and all of the people in the building to be a part of it. The terrible Best of Both Worlds video airs - which at least the Bar is good in. Cole gives us some tourism info about Jeddah. The Arabic announce team is shown before the cruiserweight title match. EVEN THE LU-CHA BIT GETS OVER. Well slightly. Cole puts over how great Cedric looked against Kota Ibushi in the CWC. Kalisto dives into Cedric on the floor. Cedric hits a flip dive. Basement rana by Kalisto leads to a tornado DDT for 2. A slingshot spanish fly hits for 2 for Kalisto. Things get crazy-sloppy at the end, with a Kalisto rana going all wonky and the SDS being countered into a kinda-lumbar check. 

"The Raw tag titles are vacant because Braun Strowman won the titles witn a ten year old boy, who had to go to school!" Raw Tag Title match is up. Matt gets zero reaction, but Bray's firefly deal is over. Cole buries the Woken stuff  Cesaro works Matt over on the mat. Cesaro boots Bray off the apron and gets cradled for 2. Bray tags in to greatly increase the pace of this and bodyblocks Cesaro for 2. Bray is so much more exciting than Matt Hardy, and this match is still struggling to get into first gear. Bray avoids the brogue with a spider walk. Sister Abigal hits! Wheelbarrow Twist ends it and the Deleters of Worlds win the titles. Cesaro darting backstage with Sheamus on his back in a fireman's carry was a great visual.

The US Title silliness is recapped before Jeff comes out in a new black and copper bodysuit. Jinder has a bit of a belly on him tonight. His week to week physique changes are something else. Jinder slugs away, but Jeff sends him outside with a dropkick. Jeff does sa barricade...sprinty walk lariat. YES! A LONG JINDER CHINLOCK! Whisper in the Wind misses completely, which flusters the commentators when Jinder sells it anyway. Twist and a swanton end it. Mid-show pre-show stuff airs and then we get a Jeddah hype video. A guy named Mike interviews Chris Jericho about possibly winning not only his first Royal Rumble, but THE GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE. He mocks Mojo Rawley and KO. Jericho says that Tom is still trying to say he isn't Tom. Bryan Rumble interview.

SD Tag Title match is up with the Usos out first to no reaciton. Cole hypes up that the last time an SD-exclusive tag title changed hands outside of the US was when Deuce and Domino beat Londrick. Okay, the 205 guys at least had A chant. This match will get nothing. Rowan dominates with an atomic noogie while Cole says that Sarge is dead. Whoops. Apron PK to Rowan and a crossbody to Harper gets 2. Giant Uso splash gets 2. Rowan kicks one down on the floor before bowling another over on the floor. Double corner charge and the Blugeon bomb end it. BOO!

IC Title ladder match history is recapped. Seth's BURN IT DOWN is over huge, and he's back in his black and neon yellow Tron getup. SAUDI VISION 2030 HYPE TIME! Miz's movies could be screened on their theaters, which would then be coincidentally demolished. Miz gets above-arena pyro for some reason. No rainbow gear for Balor. Seth and Joe go at it to play off their feud last year. Joe hits the corner enzuiguri. Double blockbuster to Miz and Joe. Seth hits a dive into Finn and sends him into the Arabic table before he dives onto Miz on the other isde. Balor dives on the pile. Joe drop toeholds Seth onto the ladder.

Balor trips Joe up onto a ladder and double-stomps him! Seth and Baor fight on the ladder, but Miz and Joe knock them down onto the ropes. Joe goes to toss Balor into a ladder in the corner, but it falls - so he just slams him on it. Tower of Doom with Joe doing a powerbomb to Seth while he superplexes Balor. Finale on the ladder to Joe! Miz gets knocked onto a ladder DOUBLE STOMP OFF THE TOP ONTO THE MIZ ON A LADDER! Seth springboards to the ladder, runs runs up  and grabs the belt right while Balor is next to it.  Balor's eye is all split up. Fun match. WWE Performance Center in Saudi Arabia hype time. Four of them get mid-ring time before Shawn and Ariya Daivari come down waving the Iranian flag. The trainees get a slam in.

Nakamura is out grooving to his revamped theme. AJ's out in his Mania gear and we get a pretty clean match until Nakamura clips the knee. SHIN catches him with a knee to the jaw on the apron. AJ gets the ushiguroshi! AJ locks on the calf crusher, but SHIN gets the rope. New Japan forearm exchange and Nakamura hits a low blow for 2.9 - thanks to AJ making it to the rope. AJ and Nakamura brawl outside for a double countout. AJ dives onto him and leaves him laying.
Rusev is out to face Taker in what may be Taker's final casket match and final non-Mania match. Shoulder tackles and old school hit for Taker. Rusev is tossed onto the casket and he darts away. Taker hits the apron legdrop, but Rusev gets him down and he kicks away. Taker wins a slugfest, but Rusev takes Taker down with the Accolade. Chokeslam and Rusev is tossed into the casket. English eats a chokeslam and a tombstone. Both Rusev and English are in the casket and Taker wins it.
Roman vs. Brock isn't up last - which is quite a surprise. German! German! TWO MORE GERMANS! F5! Okay, this has to be either comedy or Brock has re-signed again. Two Superman punches! Three! This is literally a video game match. They fight up top and Brock elbows him down. Spear! Roman goes to leave, so Heyman smacks the cage into his face and an F5 gets 2. Brock gets a chair and takes his gloves off, but he eats another spear for 2.9. Roman spears Brock through the cage on the side, and the panel breaks. So Brock retains the title - but Roman truly beat him. Oh lordy. Roman is so doomed - he beat himself in this one!

Dolph and Bryan start off the Rumble. Sin Cara is out and eliminated quickly. Axel is 4. Mark Henry comes out of retirement for this. Henry takes Axel out and Bryan and Dolph team up against him. Mike comes out to no reaction and new trunks. Henry just eliminates him and it might be a new record. Hiroki Sumi waddles down and is going toe to toe with Henry. Henry tosses him out. Bryan and Dolph toss Henry out. Viktor is out and hits a flying knee off the top. Bryan eliminates Viktor with a pumphandle on the arm over the top.

Kofi, Tony Nese, and Dash do not a whole lot. Dash has good chemistry with Bryan. Swoggle returns and helps get rid of Dash. Swoggle hits a celtic cross on Kofi and goes for a tadpole splash - but Dolph superkicks him. Nese hits the knee strike and ends his run. Primo and Xavier are out with little happening. Kofi hangs onto Woods to avoid being eliminated. Kofi dives off of Woods and they do the NEW DAY ROCKS bit before Nese joins in and they're gobsmacked and toss him out.

Bo is out and Kurt comes in. GERMANS TO EVERYONE! Bo is gone, Primo is gone, but Dolph superkicks him. Dolph gets belly to bellied to the floor! Dawson comes down before Goldust - who is in this 13th Rumble. Corey puts over how ageless he is and how fast he is. Konnor is out to do nothing. ELIAS is out and gets a huge WALK WITH ELIAS chant. Gallows sluts it out with Dawson before Bryan and Kurt go at it. Yes kicks are met with an ankle lock! ANGLE SLAM TO BRYAN! This is so great. Elias takes out Kurt! Rhyno and Drew Gulak are out doing very little.

Tucker is out to no reaction, but he gets rid of Drew. Bobby Roode is 25, then Fandango and then Gable. Rey is out and Byron acts like he's a surprise...after saying he'd be in the Rumble earlier. Rey's green and white gear looks dreadful. Rey ranas Luke out. Mojo is out and gets rid of Dango and then Breeze. Big E is out and then Apollo. Gable is tossed out and hits hard head-first. Roderick Strong is out and introduced as an NXT Tag Champion. BACKBREAKERS FOR EVERYONE! He hits a nasty one to Rey and then lands a double knee gutbuster to E. Roddy gets rid of Rhyno with a knee.

BRYAN VS. RODDY! Orton's out. RKO OUTTA NOWHERE TO CREWS! Mojo jsut gets chucked out. Babatunde is out and gigantic. He hits early '80s giant offense. Bryan and Roddy's chop exchange took a massive toll on Bryan, who is all marked up. Big Bad Baron is out. Titus tried to slide into the ring, but he trips and slides under the ring to the amusement of the commentators. This will be on Vince's highlight reel for ages and Titus will get a job for life out of it. Cole says that could be the greatest moment in Rumble history.

Dan Matha comes running down all weirdly. Heath is out and beaten up. BRAUN IS HERE! Braun tosses Babatunde out and then Matha. Everyone eats boots and E is taken out. Heath has a chance. Nope - he tosses him over the top. Everyone gangs up on Braun, including Tye, who getts tossed around. Titus gets tossed out and then Tye. 619 to Braun! RKO! Baron tosses Rey, who sticks around only to get punched off the apron. Orton takes out Baron, but Elias gets rid of him! Hawkins is out and tries to run away to no avail. Lashley's out and Bryan darts around on both guys with dropkicks.

Khali comes down and may get in the ring by the end of the day. Poor guy can really barely move now. Khali chops Lashley, Bryan, and Braun! Lashley and Braun toss him out thankfully. KO comes out and powerbombs Bryan. Bryan makes history as the longest-running Rumble wrestler so far at an hour and five minutes. Shane and Bryan team up on Bryan with the yes kicks. SHANE KNOCKS BRAUN DOWN WITH A PUNCH COMBO AND SPINNING BACK ELBOW. Jesus.

Shelton's out, but he makes the mistake of messing with SHANE THE SHOOTER. Dragon whip to Shane. Step-up knee in the corner to Lashley. KO says they have to get rid of Braun and so they team up untl Big Cass returns. Jericho is out at 50. Bryan kicks away at KO in the corner and then hitting a hesitation dropkick. Shane goes for the Van Terminator, but Braun grabs him and chokeslams him from the top through the announce table. Cass tosses guys out and then gets rid of Bryan. Cass misses a boot and Braun tackles him out to win the Rumble. Vince presents him with the trophy and a big green belt. What a surreal night.