Friday, April 24, 2015

TNA Impact Wrestling 4-24-15 Rundown

Really good show overall. I dug the idea of EY starting it as a heel who has seen the error of his ways, but is then screwed over through no fault of his own and then snaps again. The knockouts four way was an excellent showcase for Brooke. Beyond fanservice, it delivered some fresh moves and the revival of THE POUUNNNCE. Mika-Kenny was a backdrop for the faction war, which leads to A PIPE ON A POLE MATCH. Yippee. The Dollhouse's debut was creepy, and resulted in them coming off as stars alongside Laura Dennis, who they might as well just call Cherry Bomb since it's on her gear and all the fans chanted.

The Mickie-Storm-Magnus thing was just fantastic. Storm playing off of his babyface character to lure Mickie away because he feels she's a better fit for him than Magnus is being done perfectly. Storm had me cracking up singing and dancing to Mickie's song after asking that it be played. Manik and Davey had an excellent short match that finally gave Manik a chance to shine for the first time since he's been in this faction. They set up more with The Revolution and the Hardys, debuted a new finisher for them, and even set Davey up as a possible X Title contender - so it was an efficient use of time. Every single thing involving EC3's campaign while Tyrus dressed as Abe Lincoln was great until Ken Anderson came out. Kong vs. Taryn was a fun match that had a logical set up for the no DQ stip with Taryn wanting this after Kong used weapons against her, and then the real motive became clear when the Dollhouse attacked Kong and helped her win. Taryn is already a fantastic heel after one promo and this act has potential. I'm not quite sure if it can be the next BPs, but that seems to be the idea and I dig it so far. They all have chemistry together, and that is what helped the BPs out a lot.

I don't normally like bait and switch angles for World title matches, especially when it's clear we aren't getting a title match when it's set to begin 10 minutes before the show ends, but this was done perfectly. EY needed something to get him to the next level as a semi-top heel act and this was it. He absolutely destroyed both Aries and Kurt, and left the champion bloodied with an even more busted-up knee. This was an excellent show overall and well worth going out of your way to see.

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Thursday, April 23, 2015

WWE SmackDown 4-23-15

Well, I wasn't going to watch this as it happened, but my cable's been a bit spotty - so I'd better do it now and get it over with just in case. Terminator 2 makes shockingly good pre-SmackDown programming. Boy is that kid annoying. The pre-SD hype video talks about Dolph standing up to Sheamus. The generic intro takes up next to no time and there isn't a recap - the show actually starts in earnest at 8:01...with Seth and the goons coming out to cut a promo. King is out there with Tom Phillips and Byron, so this could be ungodly bad.

RKO recap. Seth mocks #rkoouttanowhere. He says he doesn't need anyone's help - especially that of an aging monster. Kane was somehow angered by this. Kane tells him to basically be nice to him or he'll screw him out of the title. Seth used Vince's FIRED line while Kane told him to stop using the catchphrases of the family that signs their paychecks. EVERYONE BE GLAD THAT YOU WORK FOR WWE, THE GREATEST COMPANY ON EARTH. Seth calls Kane the Guardian of the Gatekeeper, or whatever - awesome.

Kane. And. Seth. Have the. World's slowest. Conversation. About Kane. Beating Seth. Like Seth. Beat him. Kane orders a ref and I just made 50 cents on mturk thanks to this whole deal taking eons. Kane tells him that HHH isn't here, so he's in charge. Kane tells him he's just messin with him - so this was a good use of 10 minutes. Kane makes Seth vs. Dean now.

Dean comes down, but Harper jumps him and a brawl breaks out. THE BIG DOG makes the save. I sense a HOLLA HOLLA tag. Rusev-Ryback is later. King says WHAT A WAY TO KICK OFF for the thing not opening SD. Dolph's out for a tag match - he and Neville faces BNB and Sheamus - should be fun. During the break, Kane announced a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH FOR THE MAIN EVENT!

Dolph and Neville have an inset promo where they try to get over THE NEW SENSATION as his nickname - it's now one of two nicknames for his intro.  Sheamus tells Dolph he'll bring a step ladder so he can kiss his arse without standing on his tippy toes. Ugh. Neville flips around to avoid Sheamus. Flip dive to the heels from Neville. Show is 1/4 over and I'm so thankful it's only two hours long.

BNB GETS A POST-BREAK CHINLOCK and they replay BNB's big bump. Sheamus comes in and kneedrops the back. Sheamus hits the tossing suplex and yells ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED, leading to Tom talking about SPEAKING ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT, CONGRATULATIONS TO FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE for. their hit. This is How We Roll. Big kick saves Neville and he gets a tag. Dolph runs wild at 80 million hours an hour. Big DDT hits and gets 2. Wasteland thanks to a Sheamus distraction gets 2. Dolph gets a crucifix for 2 and a Zig Zag hits and the Red Arrow wins. Byron says "HEY GUYS REMEMBER THAT GROUNDBREAKING REALITY SERIES!?" Recap of that announcement and some submission videos will be shown too.

WWE WON AWARDS. CONGRATULATIONS FOR WWE! WWE brags about beating EVEN EL REY - a network no one has. They had a bunch of goofy videos - thus burying their fanbase. King tries to figure out how to do a selfie. Bray talks about fear and how he'll take the ONE THING HE HAS. Oh no, he's going to change Ryback's doctor's phone number!

Paige-Naomi beatdown recap. Nattie gets a boo machine despite being in there with Naomi. King makes a joke about library cards with Naomi since he won't stop checking her out. Byron inquired as to just what a library card was. Slingshot ass drop from Nattie and a dropkick gets 2. Apron high kick leads to a sunset flip and a rollthrough into a sharpshooter. She escapes and hits "rear to the view" and then shakes her ass for the win. Okay then.


PTPs talk about how they're still trying to find out about those Puerto Rican bullfighters. Cesaro is interesting...crickets chirp. He's interesting because he's got a hat and a purse. DY makes a joke about farting in church and how Kidd's not a wussy, but he's whipped by that...woah woah woah. Cuz he wears cats, and the PTPs are worth millions of dollars. This was a thing. Rusev-Ryback is next.

Rusev, his track jacket, and chain are mid-ring waving the flag. Rusev and Lana cut awesome promos on their superior skills and how it is RUSEV WORLD. A feed me more chant starts the match off. Ryback gets some shoulder tackles while Tom talks about how RYBACK ROSE THROUGH THE RANKS OF TOUGH ENOUGH. Nice delayed suplex by Ryback. Ryback misses a shoulder charge and eats offense.

Ryback fights out of a reverse bearhug and gets a boot and some punches. Big side belly to belly gets 2. Davey Boy powerslam gets 2 for Ryback. Meathook hits for 2! He lifts him up for the Shellshock, but Rusev escapes and hits him with the chain for a DQ. Chain-assisted Accolade is locked in on the floor. I like that they've set that up - but they should've been doing it for the whole build. Instead, it's clearly just a spot Cena's going to escape from before the finish.

Seth and the goons talk about Harper, and Noble says to not be afraid - he's family with him through some wacky deal. Harper is busy concentrating, but Mercury taps him and mimes things. Harper tells him he was busy thinking of ways to hurt people! Steph-Jericho podcast hype.

New Day's out and actually getting folks to clap and dance. Kofi's out to lose to someone. THERE IS A PLAGUE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE - A LACK OF SMILING! AND WORSE YET - A LACK OF CLAPPING! Big E is so great. Xavier is so great as a sarcastic prick here. Cesaro and Kidd get a huge pop coming out. Cesaro and Kofi usually have good matches, but they probably won't have much time here. Leapfrog into a one-armed tilt a whirl backbreaker! Fulcrum kick by Kofi. Big E suplexes Kidd overhead on the floor, but Kofi hits the kick and! Big Show cuts an app promo on Roman.

Dean's out for the main event, followed by the Big Dawg! Card recap in full here. Of course - couldn't put this before the main event or anything. Heels come out. I dig seeing the mini-Shield reunion, and I should really update Roman in NM with the Taker top - it fits with his new logo nicely.

Dragon screw into a modified Regal Stretch by Dean starts this off - I like Dean busting out actual wrestling to show that he isn't just a wildman. Sliding D into a power drive elbow leads to Tom calling Dean Harper. Seth's now in. I bet using Eddie's gear would work well for him in NM. Roman tags in and LANDS PUNCHES along with a suplex for 2. Hall-style arm wringer and shoulder-smash, but Seth escapes and punches away. Seth takes Roman down with a front facelock.

Roman tags Dean in for some madcap offense. Dean gets put into a wacky position by trying to climb up, but gets tossed to the steps and jumped by J and J. Harper boots him for a break. An AWESOME hype video airs for Rusev-Cena, which really makes it seem like the main event.


Seth gets a face rake alongside a bodyscissors. Cocky kicks from Seth lead to the Big Dawg wanting in even more. Roman and Harper come in and the BIG DAWG RUNS WILD! J and J get a double punch, punch to Harper gets 2.5 thanks to Seth. Dean takes him down with the flying elbow. Dive to Harper leads to a powerslam to the timekeeper area. Roman clotheslines him down. Superkick from Harper gets 2. Seth comes in and gets the flying knee for 2. Seth gets the buckle bomb and Harper gets the discus lariat for 2. Dean saves Roman and now he wants the hot tag.

Okay, if they were to do this exact thing, Dean would be back in the hunt as a top-level guy. Dean low bridges and tosses out the heels and gets the diving elbow to the pile. A this is awesome chant breaks out. Well, it's deserved. Seth is tossed in early by Kane and Dean come back in, but Roman tags in, hits the spear and wins! Tom made a point about him pinning the champion. Excellent match here.

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Monday, April 20, 2015

WWE Raw 4-20-15

We're getting thunder and are under a tornado watch here in northern Virginia, so I may wind up only covering a small amount of Raw today. I'll get to the rest of the show ASAP if I have to abandon it live. Before the show, they hyped up Cena's open challenge, HHH's Tough Enough thing, and that's about it. Recap of Orton beating the tag champs on his own and then the Seth-Kane deal. After FOUR MINUTES, this thing ended. Christ. A steel cage is lowered, so no doubt the show will start with the Authority being prevented from attacking Orton inside of it. Or, you know, Kane will just tear the door off or they can raise it. Payback to be main evented by a Scout's Honor - We Won't Raise the Cage match.

Orton rambles on about whatever the fuck for a while. Seth comes down and talks about Orton's anger problem - he says he has that, but doesn't have that and instead has a Seth Rollins promo. Seth pokes some fun at show-opening promo tropes, because that makes up for promos full of cliches that go on forever. Seth says he'll prove he's the best WWE World Heavyweight Champion ever, he can outmaneuver anyone and outthink them. Holy God, this has only been going on for maybe seven minutes since that opening video took ages. Orton says the RKO's banned on Sunday, so tonight HE'LL RKO EVERY SON OF A BITCH he sees. "ORTON IS IN AN RKO-KINDA MOOD!" I'm now in a drinkin' kinda mood. Cole hypes up HHH's return and the Tough Enough announcement about TE being a GROUNDBREAKING SHOW, REALITY SHOW! Ambrose is out to face Harper and a fan has a Where's Waldo sign.

Recap of Harper's numerous attacks to Ambrose.Dean and Harper start with crazy flying things. Luke gets him down and unloads with punches. Suicide dive takes Harper out. They fight in the crowd and man is this ever great. These two have perfect chemistry and just went at it full-boar to make themselves stars. Dean avoids a powerbomb off the stage, but gets tossed off. This was like the best, most fun five minute match ever. PTPs scare Noble. Did we miss a segment? Why are the heels suddenly afraid of everything that moves? HHH meets them and tells them he hopes they're not afraid. HHH is of course, the coolest guy in the room who fears nothing while the champion is a chickenshit. Seth wants more security, and HHH says it's only one guy. Well, thank God they made sure Seth didn't look too strong here. Lucha Dragons face New Day to determine who faces the champs at ER.

JBL buries Big E for being off-key with his clapping and then buries Xavier for leading the New Day Sucks chants with his apron-slapping. Sin Cara does an armdrag... Cole - KALISTO WITH A NICE FLYING ARMDRAG! Fun stuff so far. Nice baseball slide from Kofi sends Cara into the table. Big E lariat sends Cara down while an OSW sign makes air. Kofi dropkicks Cara and gets some mounted punches. Big E clapped three times - okay - so New Day leads New Day Sucks to motivate themselves. Kalisto comes in and flies around. JBL said 'THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO LUCHAS!" and "I'VE WRESTLED A LOT OF LUCHAS!" Xavier holds Cara's legs and New Day gets the shot.  BOO DAY! Excellent - within a week Orton gets to beat the tag champions and the number 1 contenders! Well, Kofi and Woods - Big E left. Cena-Rusev recap from last week. I hope we get Cena-Goldust during one of these challenges. WOOHOO, A BIG SHOW-ROMAN RECAP IS NEXT!

An awesome quick Orton-Seth video airs. Long recap of Show-Roman leads to of course, Axel vs. Fandango. Loved Axel's dancing. Poor guy lost to Fandango via the legdrop and...WE GOT THE NEW AND IMPROVED THEME!? They went to the original quickly, so someone fucked up. They talk about The Miz Brand match between Miz and Mizdow. HHH is walking backstage. TOUGH ENOUGH IS GROUNDBREAKING once again. Marine 4 ad. Introducing Summer Rae is the funniest thing since Introducing Verne Gagne for The Wrestler.

HHH gets a babyface pop and Cole hypes up his big win at WM in a match with Sting that saw the Monday Night War come to life. HHH hypes up Seth as being the possible face of WWE for 10 years. Tough Enough returns on June 23 and they'll FIND THE NEXT SETH ROLLINS. Yes, YOU TOO COULD BE KNOCKED OUT IN A BATTLE ROYAL BY BIG SHOW. THAT IS THE DREAM! Being a WWE superstar is better than any dream you could ever have. So if you've dreamed of being RKOd time and time again, YOU COULD LIVE YOUR DREAM! HHH cuts a total babyface promo on the fans here asking them to prove that they're Tough Enough. Kane came down. Man is his hair something else. Kane gives HHH his two weeks notice. HHH says "Let's do what we've always done" - have HHH beat Kane? Kane cuts an awesome promo on Seth. "IF WE WANTED TO, WE COULD'VE MADE EL TORITO CHAMPION! HHH makes Kane GUARDIAN OF THE GATE. Damn, I was hoping he'd also make Big Dave the Guardian of the Galaxy. THIS FUCKING RULED!

We'll hear from Roman later about the Show thing. Paige-Naomi recap - Paige is out due to Naomi, so Naomi gets the shot. Naomi faces Brie, so...I think it's heel vs. heel. Kane and Seth argue backstage. HHH told Kane that he's not the Demon, and Kane disagreed. HHH told Seth to prove he's the best. So basically, HHH is the disappointed father who loves his son, but wishes he'd live up to his potential. Well, HHH will live up to his one day too. Naomi's out not dancing. Bellas are faces again for reasons. Nikki is now super-thankful to be on a magazine. Nikki is really not a good babyface.


Booker says that Naomi could be THE GREATEST DIVA OF ALL TIME. Nikki says no one knew who Naomi was before last week...what!? Could they please cut Nikki's headset? She's burying the challenger and generally being awful. Naomi bulldogs her into the buckle, which is new. Naomi misses a crossbody and that gets 2. CALLS IT THE REAR VIEW for the win! Naomi dressing like Lum from Urusei Yatsura is bizarre. Heath condemns Rowan for not using dressing and gets RKOd through a table, leading to Orton grabbing a blue tortilla chip.

Awesome hype vid for Cena-Rusev. Roman doesn't feel like talking. He Feels. LIKE. FIGHTING! Bo Dallas cut an amazing promo quoting Yoda from the greatest Star Wars movie ever, Episode 1, but Roman brazenly attacked Bo for having a different opinion. He Superman punched him, speared him, AND stole his catchphrase.

Sheamus is out. Booker says Dolph will reclaim his World title-level glory by making Sheamus kiss his ass. Yup. Sheamus gets the Brogue immediately, but is too busy talking shit to cover. Love Sheamus just beating the daylights out of him while talking shit. Sheamus is great. Could Zack please not kill himself with this stuff though? Now if they're just doing this to have Dolph give Ryder a distraction win, they can fuck off. Sheamus goes for a perfectly legal Brogue kick, but Dolph comes in and attacks Sheamus with a Zig Zag FROM BEHIND.

So now the Jericho show is the biggest show in Network history... and Steph will be on it after an SD. Love Cena trolling the crowd to get more boos. Cena yammers on for a while about Rusev. Cena wants to sodomize Rusev with the Russian chain?! Yikes. Speaking of yikes, KANE ACCEPTS THE CHALLENGE. Cole says that this is the greatest challenge yet in the US Open Challenge. Kane is in fact more of a threat than Stardust. Kane hit VINTAGE OFFENSE. Suplex...stomps...oh wow. World's slowest protobomb hits, but Kane gets a chokeslam for 2. Kane goes for the tombstone, but Cena counters and gets the AA for the win. This was not good. They hyped up HULK HOGAN'S ROCK 'N WRESTLING on the Network tonight. I didn't like this show as a kid - so I'm not watching that now.

Kane walks by HHH, who is unhappy. Miz talks to Renee about BEING A FIGHTING MACHINE! Cena talks to Byron, THEN GETS BEATEN UP BY RUSEV. RUSEV BONK, then Cena makes wacky faces during a chain-assisted Accolade.


Miz vs. Mizdow's up. Summer's looking hot. LOL @ the reference to BOOKER LOSING THE LETTER T! Summer attacked Mizdow and Miz won. So that whole deal accomplished a lot. Orton RKOd Miz. Bryan-Barrett gets a possible card slot - so they must be somewhat optimistic. Harper-Ambrose is a Chicago street fight and the tag title match is on the Kickoff.

Commentators bragged about WWE winning an Over the Top award and beating TURNER SPORTS AND EL REY - SO TAKE THAT COMPETITION! Bray talked about how you can lift weights, but he will strangle you. Ryback came out... Okay, so I'm reasonably certain that Bray is now feuding with Ryback. Boy that should be amazing. Ryback's facing Adam Rose. Ryback destroyed him in a bad match. The hot dog and banana attack Ryback, but eat a double Shellshock. Well, that was fun. Renee interrupted her non-guest at this time Kane and delivered all of his important plot points before they make Depend's jokes. So Kane's gimmick is now that he's an old man. Seth says he's sorry for everything, and that he dedicates tonight's match to him. Orton sees that the goons have left...

Ryback-Rusev is made for SD for some reason. Dolph's out first followed by the champion. Slingshot into the buckle sends us to a break. Dolph's big DDT gets 2. Superkick gets a 2.9. Sheamus causes a distraction and Seth gets a snap falling DDT - basically an inverted version of Christian's reverse DDT, for the win since the curb stomp is banned. HHH comes down and says that Seth will beat Orton on Sunday. Seth interrupts him... Can't wait for HHH to beat Seth at Summerslam for the title since it's his WWE, and not Seth's. Seth gets the cage lowered so Kane can't attack, BUT ORTON SNEAKS IN! RKO off the cage! That was fun.

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WWE SD 4-16-15

Generic show intro sets up WE'RE IN THE UK and a Cena-Rusev recap. CKidd came down to DROP FACTS, they're the best champions in WWE today...well, that's clearly wrong since they lost on Raw to one guy. Bryan comes down and we'll get Bryan and Cena against CKidd. Bray squashes Truth. Paige injury angle recap. Roman chokeslam deal is recapped. Miz says stuff and BAD NEWS is out and beats Miz with just the elbow. Wow. Miz went from main eventing WM to this. Thank God, another Raw recap - for Orton-Seth.

Mizdow meets with Miz and says on Raw, he'll face him for the Miz brand. Okay. Sheamus buries Neville for being short, then gets DQed for kicking his ass too much. He kicks his ass more before Dolph comes out to save him. Dolph in his busted-up denim vest looks awful, and they made Sheamus-Dolph a "kiss me arse" match. New Day beats the Puerto Rican bullfighters in a nothing match.

Fandango recap leads to Rosa being dumped officially, but Adam Rose showing interest. Well, so much for Fandango having even the illusion of career progression. Big Show comes out to talk to and sit on the car he smashed Roman on. Riveting. Nattie's cleavage faces Alicia and Cameron in a three way. Alicia "hits" the scissors kick, but gets tossed out and Cameron wins. Fandango faces Rose and beats him with a distraction schoolboy thanks to Rosa talking to Rose for whatever reason mid-match. Bray says words.

Main event gets about 8 minutes. Cena as always, has great chemistry with Cesaro. Kidd being in there with Cena works well too - give him a TV match against him. Bryan tags in and gets a series of kick. Great bit where Kidd knocks Nattie off the apron so Cesaro catches her, then flings her down when he sees Tyson in the Yes Lock. Cena AAs him and the faces win. Nothing match for a nothing show.

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Friday, April 17, 2015

TNA Impact 4-17-15 Rundown

Revolution-Hardys was fun. EY being called ONE OF THE GREATEST WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME was insane. Spud/Anderson vs. BDC was fun thanks to Spud. Love them using the old Rock and Roll Express partner toss. EC3 and Bram vs. the Lucha Reptiles was a fine showcase for Jay Rios, who may in fact be Juan Cena after the springboard cutter. BroMans vs. Dirty Heels was fine, but I don't get why you'd even want to break up the BroMans. Main event wasn't much of a match, but I do like the story of the Hardys winning the TNA titles for the first time. It's also a great story of redemption for Matt.

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Thursday, April 16, 2015

NXT 4-15-15

CJ Parker's out to face Solomon Crowe, who still has awful gear, a bad fake take, and troll hair. He does have a new finisher though - the stretch muffler instead of the bounce house splash. Baron squashed a guy and Sami talks about Rhyno. Jersey guys are out to face Shoot Nation. Nothing special here and the faces win with a swinging uranage and a rocket launcher. Riley has RAGE and he wants to face Owens again.

Blue Pants is out to face Dana Brooke. Dana takes control with a modified snake eyes and a punt right to the crotch on the mat...okay. That got an audible OOOH from the crowd. Brooke gets ground and pound with more light than a 100 watt bulb. Handstand choke with the foot seems goofy. Cradle Shock wins for Dana...who needs a lot of work, but she has presence to her. Sami faced Rhyno is a perfectly fine little match. Rhyno can definitely still go, but Sami isn't a good style fit for him. Sami beats a guy with Kevin's bulky build via the Helluva kick to set up their rematch.

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NXT 4-8-15

This is an Andre battle royal tourney. This is pre-WM at Axxess and Neville makes his intro with the men's room in the background. Fun match here with Itami busting out a swank flying clothesline off the top and Itami getting a dragon sleeper, and Neville landing a superkick flush for 2. SSP misses, but it opens Itami up for some corner strikes and the shotgun kick for the win!

Balor-Breeze features Balor in his new BALOR demon face gear. Slingblade sets up the double foot stomp and the win. Itami-Balor 2 is set up and is next after an NXT Axxess video. Lots of kicks and knee strikes here. Sweet bit with an Itami high kick leads to Balor falling into a Pele! Balor avoids the GTS and gets a cradle for 2. Shotgun kicks hits for the win!

Mini-KENTA doc features HHH saying KENTA left Japan and his wife and kids while they're in his old REVERSAL shirts - he even gets some promo shots taken in it too. Seth tells KENTA that it took him three years to make it to WM and it only took him six months. And they of course do all of this great hype to show him being squashed in the battle royal and even keep in the commentary burying him. Loved seeing the roster congratulate him - especially Bryan after their classics in ROH. This was all Itami, and a really fun show overall.

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