Friday, December 21, 2012

Impact 12-21-12

Show started with a classy graphic about the Sandy Hook tragedy. Opening vid hyped up it being CHAMPIONSHIP THURSDAY, which I'd forgotten about. It's Tara-someone, Devon-Angle, and Hardy-Aries. Should be a good show. They showed Hardy and Aries going into the arena. Hardy looked bored, while Aries looked happy, and got happier when cute chicks walked by. Weird to see Angle competing for a secondary title. Disappointingly, he called the Aces sons of bitches instead of sons of anarchy. He countered the biker gang with his two rookie friends and an overweight, injured Samoan .I'm sensing a minor flaw in his plan. Devon clipped Angle's left leg, which had a bandage around the knee while his right one has tons of quad tape. WHY IS ANGLE COMPETING FOR THE TV TITLE IN THIS CONDITION!? Tenay said that both groups of support left - I'm sure the violent biker gang will abide. Also, the TV Title gives the Aces power and control. I hope TNA's site does a feature one day showing the percentage breakdown for each title. The gang and Angle's goof troop came out, Angle got bonked and Devon won. Match wasn't anything. IT'S TIME FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP THURSDAY KNOCKOUTS DELIBERATION BROUGHT TO YOU BY FIVE HOUR ENERGY! Velvet said she's never had a fair shot...despite being champ before. That five hour energy deal took maybe a minute. Mickie looks hot in a skirt here, so I hope she wins. RVD and Kenny King are teaming up for some reason.

Kenny King said it's because he has no beef with him, he respects him, and is looking forward to teaming with him - I dug this. Morgan and the Organ look ridiculous. Morgan especially looks like a less LD version of Oz with the giant cape. Kennely said that Morgan's going to make a lot of history in it - might want to start competing in matches that mean something to accomplish that goal. Nothing match and RVD lost after King left him to take the Carbon Footprint. Thank God Sheamus got that move over as a finisher. Ryan won, so I guess we'll get a mediocre 3-way for the PPV. I approve of Kenny's wacky faces when he walked to the back.

Kaz is getting gifts for Daniels - YAY! He had to take a call from Nick - no word on if he's a saint or a Hogan. Hulk Hogan cut a promo about taking TNA from a TEENY, TINY COMPANY to a GIANT MONSTER BROTHER that made me laugh. You can vote for the wrestler of the year on a very special 1/3 Impact. Devon called Hogan a liar, but sadly didn't bring up him being tombstoned in '78, fighting in PRIDE, or competing 400 days a year. Bully sprinted to the ring and slid in it...goddamn he's fast. Bully tried to regain Hogan's trust but got blown off. Hogan's kind of an asshole in this storyline. It might take a kidney donation for Hogan to warm up to him at this rate. Bully's face still lost a war to Freddy Krueger.

Brooke met with the chicks again and Tess made a fair claim over not having a shot that didn't involve Jesse, and then Mickie and Velvet argued over who got the next turn for the shot. Brooke called...the other Brooke VERY EXPERIENCED. And was eliminated. That was stupid. YAY KAZ HAS GIFTS! Gift-giving is the hour 1 main event. Loved the replaying of AJ's I WAS ACCUSED OF HAVIN A BAYBEE WITH A CRACKHEAD promo and their PPV match. Kaz came out to the ring with a cheap throne and tree in it. It's not the cheapest-looking deal I've seen this month though - that'd go to TCW's throne setup. Daniels came out dancing perfectly in-time to his theme. This skit rules. They had a gift for Santa - ZUBAZ! Which Kaz is holding for him. Kaz took CD's photo with Santa and then they insulted AJ some more. Loved Daniels kindly offering to give AJ his wish before Storm took offense not to AJ being insulted, but Christmas being insulted. This led to some great Kaz and Storm exchanges, which then led to more great Santa-Storm stuff before Storm superkicked Santa for a lifetime of shitty gifts. Aries asked if you could hear his thoughts with some meta humor. Loved that. Brooke walked to the ring carrying a really thick script in her hands.

Sting cut a promo on the 1-3-13 video - HE'S COMING TO GETCHA, ACES AND 8S. Then the Aces cut a promo on it. Devon got a vote to make a sit-down interview with SMART MUSCLE for next week. Aces went YAY. Brooke met with Velvet and Mickie that was impossible to hear due to the crowd in the background. She gave Mickie the shot, and we were rewarded in kind with upskirts. Loved Jesse's support revolving around cheating in some way. Jesse pulled Tara out in front of Taryn after the big DDT. For some reason, that wasn't a DQ. Mickie gave Tara a wedgie throwing her into the ring. Tara won after an inverted atomic drop with the brace.

Show came back with Joe Park at OVW wrestling camp - kinda weird to have stuff deconstructed, but I loved Joseph being bloodied again leading to Abyss coming out. Hardy-Aries III is up at 9:33, so I guess Hogan closes the show somehow. Weird to have the 'wrestling is fake' thing RIGHT BEFORE THE MAIN EVENT. I like Hardy painting around the stitches - helps this match seem a bit different early. Big match intro led ad break and then five minutes of action before another break. Came back around 9:50, so yeah, I guess there won't be a Hogan deal to end the show. Good-ish match, liked the finish.

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