Friday, October 31, 2014

WWE SD 10-31-14

There is ONE HOUR AND 12 MINUTES OF ACTUAL CONTENT ON THIS SHOW. Holy crap. Paige is out like Summer Rae for a divas battle royal and they bury Summer for using fake tan. Everyoen does stuff until Nikki takes Paige out with a spear and Alicia wins. Seth and Kane talk and talk and talk and talk. Dolph comes down and has a long-ish, boring match with Kane. Kane wins with a chokeslam and Kane makes a Dolph-Seth match due to Dolph being part of Team Cena and Dolph loses within seconds thanks to the Curb Stomp. Heath's out as a scarecrow. TIME FOR THE BIG GUY. Heath tricks him with a fake hand, it gets thrown up, he tries to catch it but eats a spinebuster, meathook, and Shellshock. MizTV with Henry. Nothing of note is said, Show comes down and gets chucked through the timekeeper's area.

Matadores have a fun little match with the Dust Bros, won via DISTRACTION SCHOOLBOY. RUSEV CRUSHes Khali in a minute after some corner punches, the superkick and the Accolade. Khali got the chop in, but that's it. SHUT-TUP NOW because mother Russia wants the U.S. Title. Sheamus fella, is always up for a fight fella. Bray cuts a rambling mid-ring promo and now Ambrose and Cesaro have their wacky street fight. Before, they stacked chairs for a street fight, now they're stacking pumpkins! Backdrop on the pumpkins leads to a pumpkin pie and pumpkin patch joke. CANDY CORN CANE TO THE CUT OF AMBROSE. SKELETON TO THE GUT! Cesaro suplexes the skeleton and Ambrose. Dirty Deeds using a pumpkin head gets the win. Boy was this a nothing show, but the main event was fun. Loved Dean closing the show talking to a skull.

WWE NXT 10-30-14

The pre-show filler is Dean-Rey from the post-BATB '96 Nitro. This is an amazing match, and the outdoor setting is really different. Rey's got the same pink and black gear he had on for his GAB '96 debut. Larry has NEVER SEEN SO MUCH UNMANLINESS as he did at BATB. I don't remember Rey wearing black kickpads, but he's got them on here. Dean gets the super gutbuster but pulls him up for 2. Rey wins and Larry IMMEDIATELY says he didn't earn it and only won because Dean was cocky. Fuck right off 18 years later.

The show begins with a site exclusive interview with Sami. Titus and a sweat-ass suit came in to talk smack about how Sami's road to redemption involving planes, trains, automobiles and him. An open challenge is issued, and Sami will run right through this obstacle. Okay then. It's time for a #1 contender's tag title battle royal. Dillinger and Jordan and Team Fit, are in the ring with Cass and Enzo, while the Vaude Villains come out and the Ascension closes this out. English looks gigantic in there with the Ascension - he's deceptively big. Double eliminations for Team Fit and DJ. A MASSIVE Enzo chant breaks out. Enzo's seemingly patterning his punches on Road Dogg's. Cass goes for the goofiest double noggin knocker ever and they block it. Cass and Enzo are out. Itami distracts them and the Villains were just on the floor - they win! He runs down and the Ascension hits the double flippy majig powerbomb. Crowd chants ONE MORE TIME for this. Ugh. They warn him and ZERO people come out to help him. Carmella-Emma is next. A Cena Rivalries ad airs with CM Punk on it by name, so...that might be part of their whole settlement.

BUBBLES! Albert wants to go out trick or treating with her. Eww. Carmella's theme hits and she cuts a promo saying she's the princess of staten island and NXT. She's a face, right? EMMA EMMA EMMA/CAR-MELLA chant. Stream's going all wonky for me, and after an extended break and a nice long bit of sleep to help wake up for some feline dental work, we're back! They talk about Blue Pants and how amazing Carmella is for working for 2 weeks. Nice spot from Carmella where she did a rope choke sitting on her neck and checked her nails. Jason talks about a mani-pedi, and Renee calls bullshit because he has hands like a walrus. Extended bodyscissors bit here. Rampage powerbomb out of it from Emma - nice! Emma Lock and an Emma Sandwich get 2. They go for some wonky leg hold, and Carmella counters into her headscissors. They hype up Carmella winning her second match ever against a WWE superstar. Rich Brennan talks about being impressed by that win. I can't believe how much he looks like Cole.

Muscle and Fitness ad about how amazing the Performance Center is and showing Sean Hyson training in it. Gabriel's out and he's added a Sabu pose to his usual HBK-ish one. He's facing Bull Dempsey. Albert says Bull has no feelings - he didn't even cry at the end of Old Yeller! More streaming issues...and now it just kicks me to the dashboard. Ugh. Bull dominates Gabriel with holds on the mat, resulting in the crowd starting to die then come back to life. Dead Sea Drop from Gabriel along with a moonsault get 2. Diving tornado DDT is met with an overhead backdrop, and then he steamrolls him with a bodyblock. Diving headbutt hits and gets the win. IT'S BAYLEY says that Sasha has brainwashed Becky, and she'll bring Charlotte to team with her against Banks and Becky. LeFort-Louis is next.

Or rather, Corbin is in there against Briggs. The crowd counts alongside the action and he beats him in what's believed to be under 20 seconds, but they stopped counting. Komen bullshit. LeFort comes out to the Leigionnaires' porno theme. Marcus gets the tail end of the intro there, so it's almost a jobber intro. He keeps yelling YOU DID THIS, TO ME! hits Zeke's uranage and wins. Back to yelling about YOU DID THIS! TO ME! Itami promises to bring a friend to fight the Ascension next week. Sami's out to face Titus again.

Sami comes out first and the Network gets all wonky yet again. Seriously, it's 4: 30 AM EST right now, not 4 PM, there's no good reason for this to happen. Titus plays bully with clubs and kicks. Mid-ring and corner overhead chop battle. Ragdoll backbreakers set up a break and now there's a post-break bearhug. This is a lot less exciting than their last match. Titus rakes his face with the boot.  Titus tells the ref NAW HE AIN'T ALL RIGHT when the ref asks Sami and hits some body blows after yelling OLE. That kind of thing can really get him over. Then he sings Ole some more! Titus throws him to the ramp and he takes an iffy bump on his back. Zayn gets a shoulder block to the gut and a flying crossbody for 2. Lariat gets 2, while a  Train Wreck from Titus gets 2.9. Titus runs into a corner exploder, Helluva kick and that's it. Nice story told for Sami, but this sucked. Tyler comes out and says that if Sami wants to beat the top contender, he has to beat him."Your road to redemption takes a detour INTO CUTEVILLE!" Yeah that shit ain't making the main roster for his own good.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

TNA Impact Wrestling 10-29-14

With rumors swirling of a TV deal and Lucha Underground's debut, it's been a fairly exciting, yet also low-key day for wrestling. The show begins with Roode greeting fans earlier today, while Lashley comes in alone. King and MVP are mid-ring while Joe and Ki come out for the tag tourney. We get a recap of Joe and Ki winning their match, but we don't get one for King and MVP. Ki and King go at it and Tenay compares the Joe and Ki team to Taz and Sabu. Tenay hypes up Roode-Lashley tonight and how to celebrate, the Black November sale takes $200 off the TNA World Title replica. MVP go at it with fantastic matwork. Ki comes in and hits a Muta elbow for 2. King comes in and eats corner chops. Joe tags in to chop and elbow King to death. Joe has his foot grabbed, so Ki does a somersault dive to the heels to save him. Excellent spot there. Ki kicks the everloving God out of King's chest for 2. King tags out so MVP hits some mounted punches for the break. This has been a rock-solid match so far, and given how blah this tourney is in theory, I'm quite happy with it.

As implied before, Black November has begun on ShopTNA, with shirts at $10 and free shipping over $40. Well, now's the time to buy an I'm With Spud shirt. MVP gets 2 on Ki and tags King in. Tenay talked about being a TNA-Lister at - I think it has something to do with ShopTNA, but he did a horrible job of explaining what this was. Maybe it's just a newsletter. Flying Chuck from Ki to MVP, and man does he do that better than Morrison. King gets 2 on Ki and then goes for a surfboard. MVP and King bonk into each other leading to a Ki comeback and a Joe hot tag. King saves MVP from a shot, but he eats a chop and powerslam for 2. Joe gets the choke and King taps. Ref doesn't see it apparently. Joe eats a cheapshot and gets covered. Ki makes a save with the Warrior's Way.  King flies into Joe, but Ki hits what I can only describe as a running dropkick version of the Pounce to set up the choke and the win. This greatly exceeded expectations. Now, at the semi-final level, we get brackets. EC3 and Tyrus face the Hardys. Bram-Devon gets recapped. Devon says he doesn't know what Bram's issue is with him, but he loves a good fight. Jesus Christ does his forehead look terrifying. He gets a call, presumably from Bully, so I guess we'll get 3D-Bram/Magnus. Boy is that ever not a dream match after the series we just got.

They come back and Roode's taping up his wrists. Lashley ass-whooping video airs. Surprisingly, they haven't talked about or shown clips of his Bellator fight so far. Roode-Lashley I highlights. Bram and his stock music theme come out while they plug his Darkside shirt. MORE CLIPS OF BRAM-DEVON. Well, at least they're getting as much as you possibly can from that nothing match. Bram sits on the apron to cut his promo - not too different, but different enough to really stand out. He calls Devon and Abyss the Brotherhood of Hardcore. Since when have they ever been allies, or called that? He calls out his brother Magnus. Magnus says words about STILL BEING THE GUY who made history by breaking the glass ceiling for the Brits. Boy did he not get a damn thing out of being World Champion despite being a guy who would really benefit from the Former World Champion label in theory. Bram yells about making the dinosaurs of hardcore extinct. Devon tells him to SHUT DA HELL UP and bringing out a hardcore legend Tommy Dreamer. Tenay says Bully's taking time off to heal after the series, so Dreamer basically gets to be the 1A version of him. They brawl aimlessly while guys chant ECW. LOL. Devon grabs chairs to...hold them and then he and Dreamer hold them off with chairs while Dreamer's shitty theme plays. This didn't do much for me beyond them giving a good, logical reason for Bully being out. Madison talked to Taryn's cleavage about their issues. Taryn says that she'll look past their issues if they can focus on their task at hand tonight, the BPs. That's up next.


Knockouts Knockdown ad. A FANTASTIC SKIT WITH SHARK BOY AIRS. He's largely unmasked, fat, looking old and being a prick to kids. The first kid forgets his autograph, so he reminds him. Greatness. Pat Kenney of all people tells him to stop being fat and to man up. CAN HE BE SHARK BOY ONE MORE TIME!? OH SHELL YEAH! This was so wonderful. BPs are out and they plug the KOs Calender. They've signed some and instead of $20, they're $50. Well, they're definitely making great use of whatever airtime they have left on Spike to get some merchandise sold. Taryn's breasts came out for competition, and Tenay points out the separate intros being proof of issues between Madison and Taryn. Madison cradles Love for 2 with both a schoolgirl and an SOS. They plug the Amazing Race and the shirt for it they've put out as well. For being as skinny as she is, it's amazing how Angelina's ass is still intact. BPs get drop toe-holded by Taryn back to back. Angelina takes it perfectly, while Velvet lands like as awkwardly as possible. Madison shorts Taryn on a throw Love in, so there's a surface-level defense here. Taryn gets a double lariat, but Madison refuses another tag to attack Angelina again. Velvet gets 2. Velvet shakes her ass to taunt Taryn, while they go for an absurd upskirt cam for Angelina's tag. Double dive onto the BPs from Taryn. Madison comes in without a tag and runs wild on the heels, then Taryn! The boo machine goes crazy. Rayne Drop hits. This isn't a DQ for some reason. I guess since she's a legal participant in the match, it's okay. BPs cover and win. Madison makes great wacky faces on the apron. Tyrus and EC3 face the Hardys next.

Lashley's title win is recapped while a music video shows his training and more ass-kicking. Angle talks about being the referee and threatens physicality if there's interference. EC3 and Tyrus are out first. Tryus has new black, orange, and white gear that doesn't look like a name change of his Brodus gear thanks to a new font - it's a little thing, but it helps the presentation. Jeff's got his black and turquoise top on and it looks awesome. EC3's blue and white gear is sharp too. EC3 and Matt exchange punches in the corner. These two have good chemistry - if they still had the TV Title, I'd put them in a feud for it. Hardy double team gets 2. Taz calls Jeff a tiger-like cat. Okay then. Pop-up headscissors out of the corner gets 2 for Hardy on EC3. Poetry in Motion and the Side Effect gets 2. They pimp Glory on 11/7 with WAYNE BARRETT. Tyrus comes in and hits an elbow while Tenay talks about Tyrus being a bodyguard for EC3, and having that same role for Snoop. Tyrus holds Matt for a punch from EC3, and man does his lower-body look even worse now than it did in the last tapings - tons of cellulite. Tyrus is back in and clubbing away. Nerve hold time. EC3 tags in for a neck snap and gets 2. Half-nelson chinlock furthers the damage to the neck. Stinger Splash misses for EC3 and Hardy hits...whatever his falling not quite Side Effect thing is. Tag into Jeff leads to him running wild.  Twisto stunner leads to a Tyrus tag and him taking down the Hardys. He puts them in a horrible position for a double pump splash. Twisto from Jeff, neckbreaker-y version from Matt sets up a Swanton and a win. EC3's look of pure astonishment rules. He's yelling at Tyrus and the finals are Hardys vs. Ki/Joe, which should be good. Storm talks about the Revolution expanding.

Lashley's backstage in an orange and white American Top Team shirt with his title belt fathead wallpaper - nice! Revolution's mid-ring with Storm blathering on about storms and whatever. He invites Davey. Oh yeah, that. CLIPS WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE. Davey comes down and Storm blathers on more. Davey says nothing and then Eddie comes down to talk about their history - which was mostly NOT IN TNA. Davey says he can speak for himself while the boo machine drowns everything out. Eddie wants a tag match with the Wolves against the Revolution. Um, you're at least at 3-on-2 odds you moron! This went on no time really, but just felt like it dragged on for ages.

After the break, the match is JIP and Eddie gets a shining wizard for 2 on Storm. Manik's making faces to get Davey to join. Well, that's his language. I thought this was a tag match? Storm's grey, white, and red gear isn't flattering. Eddie chops Storm machine gun-style in the corner. Running backpack stunner looked awesome and gets 2. Eddie really does deserve a showcase match and he's getting it here. O'Connor roll gets 2 for Eddie and an apron moonsult hits. Manik whispers into Davey's ear. Eddie baseball slides Manik, while Davey just avoids things. Being passive is smart though since you're outnumbered. Superkick wins for Storm because Eddie was talking to Davey. Roode walks backstage for the main event NEXT. They've done an excellent job building to this tonight.

Kurt's out looking ridiculous in an untucked ref shirt and shorts. Roode's out in black, green, and gold gear with his black, red, and white ring robe/vest thing. Tenay puts over Lashley holding the title since June 19, and how in that time, only Roode has kicked out of his spear. Shocked he didn't bring up him being undefeated in MMA as well since that time. JB gives this the big-time intro. Roode and Lashley get into a bit of a shoving match and Lashley just hoists him up for a takedown like it's nothing. Taz puts over Lashley's victories in MMA and him having his best fight ever on Friday. Lashley gets a floatover suplex into mounted punches while Tenay plugs the 11/15 Bellator show. Roode ducks a punch and hits a chop. Crossface attempt by Roode leads to a sprawl from Bobby, who goes to the floor. They should've mentioned that he did something you can't do in MMA, but didn't. A bit of brawling leads to a break.

KO banners are $7, including Taryn's cleavage. During the break, Lashley destroyed Roode's spine with a torture rack into a spinebuster. Lashley hitting his peak in his late '30s is nuts, but I'm loving this run more than any other in his career. Running kneelift to the something makes Lashley wobble a bit. Blockbuster hits, but he favors the back and gets 2. Spinebuster from Roode hits for 2, but there was a delay due to the pain. Lashley gets a spinebuster/takedown thing for 2. Powerslam attempt by Lashley, but Kurt's in the corner. Roode escapes, but Lashley goes for a lariat and Roode moves - hitting Kurt. He takes a great bump. Lashley gets the spear, but Kurt's delayed count gets 2! Roode sidesteps a big spear and Angle eats it and takes a crazy bump. It was so hard. Taz says Kurt's getting hit because he's not used to being a ref - establishing that role as one that requires skill you don't just instantly learn - I like it. They brawl on floor and Lashley hits a spear to a stagehand and Roode uses it as a chance to hit a Roode bomb...with a really long delay on the ramp.

Lashley should only be taking that bump on WWE shows, not TNA ones in front of hundreds. Roode gives Lashley a painful wedgie taking him to the ring. Brian Hebner runs in for a 2 count. Taz says they've got refs in the holding area - again, establishing that this is a company with some structure to it. Hebner tends to Kurt and Lashley low blows Roode. Lashley grabs the belt and is told he can't use it - so he puts it down and KOs him! Belt bonk to Roode. Kurt didn't see it though, so he comes in to count 2.9! How very odd to have Lashley be a firm heel here while you're teasing a face turn - he was more face-like in the first match, which makes more sense now than it did there. Lashley avoids the Roode bomb over the ropes here and lands a silky-smooth hot shot. Lashley, LASHLEY goes for a sunset flip out of the Roode Bomb, but it gets countered Bret-Bulldog style for the win! YES! THAT FINISH LIVES! A few fans chant BOBB-Y ROODE. This was an excellent match overall, if a bit overbooked. Great show overall outside of the Revolution stuff. I wasn't coming in with high expectations, but it did an excellent job of hyping the main event throughout the show and then setting up a future rematch.

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Monday, October 27, 2014

WWE Raw 10-27-14

After what I'm sure will be called THE GREATEST HELL IN A CELL PPV EVER broadcast on the WWE Network, it's time for Raw. The show begins with a mix of the PPV opening video and stills and clips. The main event gets the focus at first, then the Cena-Orton match. Cena-Brock was the closer here, and the WWE Network logo on this made it quite clear that you should order it immediately. The Authority is mid-ring with "Stephanie MitMan". Steph, who I think is a heel sucked up to the crowd about how great the PPV was and how great a value it was at only $9.99. HHH put Seth over Orton here bit-time.  Seth's out being a total suck-up. Steph gave him a big intro and Seth sucked up to the group. There's a weird yellow tint on one of the cameras that is distracting.

Seth talks about how it's his time to face the man WHO BEAT RANDY ORTON, John Cena. Seth cut a pretty good promo doing the you can't see me bit and just being a cocky shit. Seth has by far the worst WWE main eventer theme in ages. Orton's theme hits to a fairly big pop. Orton says he heard that he lost last night due to the curb stomp and now he feels like checking back into anger management like he did FOR REAL in '06. Orton was manic and fairly awesome here, and he starts a mini-brawl too. Orton says he'll calm down when Seth's dead. Wow. HHH tells him to take the night off, get on his bus, and get something to drink. RKO TO SETH! Seth-Cena was made tonight since each guy won their Cell matches. Show and Henry face the Dust Bros for the belts next. Show and Henry earned this title shot by...not teaming?

Gold and Stardust get no intros, despite being champions and winning at the PPV. World's Strongest Team is out BUT THEY DON'T HAVE MATCHING GEAR! During a WWE Network exclusive, Show and Henry argued about the PPV match - Show blamed Henry. Stardust's gloves are now an overbearing blue and have Batman-esque things on them. Must everything about this act lack originality? If Stardust lasts until 2034, does that mean Cody will finally come into this Starudst role? Starudst, a heel, was abused by two 400+ pound guys and the feed froze. Um, did Sexual Chocolate just break the USA Network? When it came back, Show apparently gave Henry a hard tag or something.

An ad for Car Matchmaker airs. It's an Esquire Network show and they rattled off the whole concept and I still have no idea what it is. Hard tag gets replayed. Show and Goldust are fighting live. HOSS OF PAIN! Henry comes in and Show rolls out. Dude is so damn good now, it's crazy. Yes Cody, go for a front choke on this GIGANTIC MAN WHO OUTWEIGHS YOU BY DOUBLE AND IS THE STRONGEST MAN ON PLANET EARTH. I see no flaws in your plan. Henry tosses him. Henry gets shoved in so Show tags in. Henry's pissed. Flying bus. KO punch. The back of Show's head is covered in black paint and looks hilarious. WSS to Show and Stardust wins. So in case you forgot, the champs are chumps. Henry slams him again and the crowd wants it one more time. Third. Boy, Henry really should get a new finish if two can't keep a guy down. Splash. They explained the story without actually explaining the story. Cole and JBL are in pink shirts and ties, in case the all-pink crap all around wasn't enough to let you know that WWE hates cancer. Also, Roman Reigns is live next with no build. WHAT!?

Henry is backstage walking angrily. "I DID TO HIM BEFORE HE DID TO ME!" Okay then. A goofy ONE VERSUS ALL video aired for Reigns. He honestly came off heelish here. As for the interview, it was nothing - SETH ISN'T THE FUTURE, WHEN ROMAN COMES BACK, HE'LL BE THE PAST! This might've been worst than the first one. AJ came down to face someone, probably Alicia, next. K-Mart ad. WWE just buried K-Mart a month or so ago and now they're still a sponsor!?

AJ faced Fox and Paige was just amazing on commentary. There was so much great stuff there. Also, a match with a distraction finish. Paige destroyed Alicia later and boy is she good given that she came in as a model. Paige's ass was on point here. Cesaro faces Ambrose tonight and Cena says words next.

Cena came out and King put over Cena-Orton as THE MATCH OF THE NIGHT. So basically, fuck you if you wanted Dean-Seth to main event. Cena said that last night, hyped up as the final chapter, may not have in fact been the final chapter of their rivalry. Fuck right off. "And while Brock's sitting at home THINKING HE'S A CHAMPION, I'M FIGHTING LIKE A CHAMPION!" Fuck off for that too. Boy does John Cena have absurdly big forearms. Stephanie came down to presumably tell him to stop burying the talent so much - that's her job. Steph plugged the Survivor Series show which will have a traditional Survivor Series match FOR ONLY...$9.99, which CENA THE FACE PLUGS. Steph says the fans want to see Cena get torn apart, or tear people up, or something. She wants him to join the Authority to guarantee a win against Brock. Cena yammered on about how they're all here for the fans or something. OH MY GOD WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING!? None of this makes sense based on last night's show. Cena said no to her offer to heel turn. HHH came down. Again, WHY IS THIS A THING!? HHH says it doesn't have to be as hard as it's been. How hard is it? He went through Hell last night and he's fine to compete tonight. I'm honest to God yawning through this. HHH tells him to find someone with Cena's conviction. So Ambrose and Orton, since HIAC wasn't the last chapter of their story. This went on for-fucking-ever.

Dos Mizes face the Usos. Miz takes the full nelson buster ala Bully and JBL says it hurts the other end of the money maker.  Is he gay for pay? Miz jumped early for an over the top lariat. Uso double dive was set up perfectly by having Mizdow sell for Miz. They came back and Miz kicked an Uso. Cole dared to tell people to suffer through more of Raw via the app. An Uso took a great flip bump for the kneeling DDT. They pondered which superstars IF ANY would join Cena's team. Well, it's not like Cena beating the whole team on his own is impossible to fathom. JBL and Cole talked football. Crossbody off the top gets 2 on Miz. Usos win with Twin Magic! Against the Mizes, that's glorious. Mizes argue and the ref doesn't do anything despite it airing on the replay. Cena and Dolph chatted and Hogan's up next.

They had a bit plugging a WWE Performance Center bit in Muscle and Fitness. Kane confronted Dolph about his meeting with Cena. Kane decided to make a match against Dolph. Hogan came out in a full shirt with the fans chanting his theme - well, that's cool. Hogan cut a promo on how great it was to see HIS CHAMPION John Cena win and then get HIS TITLE BACK FROM THAT STINKY BEAST BROCK LESNAR BROTHER! COLEMAN-MANIA'S RUNNING WILD! WWE UNIVERSE MANIACS! They had breast cancer survivors come into the ring - well that was nice. Bo Dallas has an open challenge? Why haven't we been alerted to this at any point before now?

WHOSGONNAFACEBODALLASHEISSUEDANOPENCHALLENGE! The Bo Guy is facing THE BIG GUY! And he's back as a giant ass-kicking babyface! Meathook and Shellshock gets a quick win. Massive Feed Me More chant. Ryback's back and holy shit is he more over now that he's been since his 2012 megapush - they really lucked into this. Dean shadowboxed backstage.

Henry will be on MizTV. Mizark TV! Cesaro's out for a match with Ambrose. They had a fantastic match on SD a while back where they did the Cesaroplex on a ton of chairs - since then, I've tried doing that in any game out there. You can come fairly close in No Mercy, Fire Pro Wrestling Returns, and in WWE 2K14. We got a recap of Orton's issues earlier for...reasons, and a promo we didn't see from Orton I guess on the app. Dean's out walking hurt, but doing so angrily. They used this time to replay the HIAC clips that opened the show. Dean cuts an awesome, intense promo on the table and beats the shit out of Cesaro with the mic. Dean cut a promo on Bray, who cut one on the tron. He certainly said words.

Nikki's out with Brie not walking behind her, in that flannel getup. Brie's aware that grunge has been dead since she was 12, right? She has to be her assistant at what, answer tweets? This personal assistant angle would've made more sense if it started when they did those autograph signings. She's facing Naomi, whose checkered gear is simply terrible. JBL and King argued over the smoothie angle. Bubba Bomb set up a kick to the back and a double...ankles to the shoulders thing. Brie lightly moved an ankle, which greatly offended her. Rack Attack won and Brie was sad. Dolph-Kane is next. It's Dolph and our punishment.

Kane dominated Dolph. Dolph gets a dropkick that sends Kane to the floor for an ad break. Kane must've dominated ON THE APP, because he's destroying him after the break. Kane counters a fameasser into a powerbomb, which is then turned into a bad facebuster. Kane gets an uppercut mid Stinger splash for 2. Kane locks on...something. What is this not quite cobra clutch supposed to hurt? Dolph gets the corner punches and a neckbreaker. Kane gets 2 off a sideslam. Kane misses the flying clothesline and eats a fameasser for 2. They counter big spots, Dolph gets a superkick, Kane gets a big boot for 2. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Dolph CRADLES HIM AND WINS!? Go Dolph! Dude actually feels like kind of a big deal right now. The IC Title run has helped him, even if his match to match booking is more than a little questionable. Seth attacks Dolph from behind leading to a 2 on 1. Cena had JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS and came down to save. Cena-Seth is next.

IT'S A SMACKDOWN HALLOWEEN! They played goofy sub-Munsters music. They plugged 2K15 in exactly the same way they always do. BEST GRAPHICS EVER. BEST WWE GAME EVER! JBL told King to get Queasy, Sleazy, and Cheesy back - loved that! Seth's got taped up ribs and the goons! Cena attacked the injured ribs, which JBL rightfully absconded him for. Mercury got a cheap shot and JOHN CENA BUMPED FOR JOEY MERCURY! Seth nailed an awesome measured shot to the kidney in the corner. Cena is beating dominated for an ad break. Cena gets chucked into the steps and then eats some mounted punches. Cena went for his usual shoulder tackles, so Seth just ducked. HA! Suicide dive from Seth and he fucked his back up right against the table.

Why is Seth, a heel, being called someone who's giving a lot to the WWE Universe? JBL refuses to shut up about this. Seth avoids an AA and hits a gorgeous DDT for 2. Great job from each guy on that one. Now that's a beautiful DDT. They really should've brought up that being a shot at Dean since his finish is a DDT as well. JBL once again said that Seth was popular with the fans. WHAT!? Flying...I think it was supposed to be a knee from Seth missed by a mile and got 2. Seth tries to smother him with a bodyscissors chinlock. They're going on and on about the Authority hating Cena. They've done this since JUNE and have yet to give A SINGLE REASON for it.

Seth takes him to the floor and Noble gets in some cheap shots. Seth gets a near countout here. Cena comes back in. A. A. B. Y. GO CENA HIT YOUR SIGNATURE! Seth gets tossed into the goons! Cena runs into a kick for 2. Cena kicks the ribs and hits a DDT for 2. Seth gets his wacky lift up spinny thing and hits the standing Shirunai for 2. CORNER TO CORNER BUCKLE BOMB GETS 2! Seth goes for the stomp, but Cena turns it into an STF and Kane saves Seth. Dolph's out to help Cena. Noble and Mercury keep attacking - maybe they'll be on the team. The locker room came out to attack everyone. Steph and HHH came out and Cena attacked jobbers. What a prick.

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Sunday, October 26, 2014

WWE Hell in a Cell 2014

I'm skipping the pre-show because they're a waste of time, but have some issues with the Network actually starting on the X1. "From the Beginning" doesn't work, and just brings things up live - it's apparently fall 2 of the IC Title match. And then it just logged me out mid-camel clutch from Cesaro. Well, this is going to be a fun one. Dolph gets a bad kimura. Why the fuck is Dolph Ziggler using the World Champion's finisher as a transitional move? Cesaro-Plex gets 2. Dolph gets a fameasser for a long 2. Dolph kicks out of the VE uppercut for 2. Dolph gets a kneeling arm breaker, a superkick, a zig zag, and HE GETS THE CLEAN SWEEP!? Holy shit. Great celebration with Dolph and the fans though.

Replay airing of the first 10 minutes I missed - the Cell-hyping video package to start was great and made fine use of JR's call of the Taker-Foley cell. The audio gets muted towards the end of the video package. Dolph's out first, followed by Cesaro. Restarting the stream worked. Ugh. The Network worked better than this at WM. They do mat stuff to start and JBL brings up Dolph's amateur record. Cesaro gets a big NJPW forearm countered into a wacky Dean-Eddie counter exchange for 2s. Cradle out of the Swing gets 2. Stun Gun sets up the Swing for 2, and then a cradle for 3. So that's the first fall I missed. Stream worked fine for me upon a replay of the first fall. Well, I'll rewatch everything to get a feel for the flow of things, but that wasn't much of a fall. 

They come back from the Warrior Network hype video to tell you that you're a moron for buying it on PPV and YOU COULD BE PAYING $10 INSTEAD OF $55! Just what I want on PPVs - extensive Raw Rebounds. Orton using the clips as evidence to the Authority of him being annoyed by Seth, and then getting talked down a bit by HHH and Steph. HHH says he's better than anyone at finishing Cena. If he's so good at finishing John Cena, why hasn't he done it before? Bella vs. Bella is up next.

It's set up with clips of Summerslam largely focusing on Steph and nothing afterwards. Brie has a slashed up pants getup and is wearing a flannel shirt as a belt... is this 1999? Nikki gets 2 off a facebuster and just yells at Brie to just give up. Nikki's ass and cleavage are out of control here. JBL chant breaks out. Brie gets the rope knee, but Nikki escapes. Brie gets a suicide dive and hurts Nikki's leg - her CAREER-THREATENING SHIN INJURY is brought up. CAN THE VALIANT BABYFACE NIKKI OVERCOME THIS INJURY!? Rack Attack gets 2! Brie gets a Yes Lock, and reveals her thong in the process. Nikki gets to the ropes. Nikki hits a KO forearm, which is now apparently a thing. Rack Attack wins.

A WWE 2K15 ad kills some time. Network pre-show folks are here with Riley going for a super-cheap pop and a guy wears a $9.99 shirt behind Heyman. Riley says the opener could've been a match of the year contender. Heyman absolutely calling bullshit on that opener being a possible MOTYC. They throw to the tag title match, with the Usos coming out first and the Dust Bros. coming out second. Dust Bros start this out with some knee work on the formerly-injured Uso, and Goldust is called Benjamin Button. Between this and The Dark Knight joke, did Vince just get the Best of 2008 or something? Uso Crazy alternating dives set up Goldust eating a crossbody for 2 and taking two bumps for it. Damn is he amazing. Goldust has a new sweet pattern on his gear. Goldust with THE most animated cover in human history off that spinebuster. Gets 2 off it. Falling tree sell for a superkick gets 2 for the Usos. They get stereo superplexes and a dive for 2. Goldust gets a final cut after Stardust kicks the knee of the Uso and they win! Fun match, but not the best match for either team.

Komen singer ad led to her and the Komen CEO being shown. Komen CEO isn't very TV-friendly. Cole hypes up THE MALIGNANT HELL IN A CELL!? Is that really fitting after a cancer ad? I'm sure Vince found it to be hilarious or something. Orton-Cena is coming up next and it's hyped up with an incredible video package that ties it into other legendary sports rivalries. It was a bit much, but really well done. Lilian says the winner faces Barrock Lesnar. Orton's out first in grey and white. This is the 29th Hell in a Cell match since 1997 - so if you thought it was really special, that should tell you it's not.

Cena's out and they have a giant HELL IN A CELL graphic built above the structure now - in case you forgot what it was. Orton starts with kicks and punches - and good ones. They fight on the floor a bit with Orton dominating there. Orton got a chair and of course JBL called it a toy. Stream pauses for a while during a two count. Well, if I paid $55 instead of $10, that wouldn't be an issue. Stream dies on me, comes back, and then gets stuck in purgatory for a bit. Cena makes absurd faces when pressed against the cage. Maybe he's starring in an Ernest reboot. Cena gets his balls rammed into the post with a back suplex setup - and he keeps holding Cena and staring gleefully at the damage he did. Cena gets tossed into the cell and an RKO chant is explained as being due to the anti-Cena folks.

Cena slides to avoid a table shot, but an RKO hits during Cena's shoulderblock comeback and gets 2!   THAT RULED! Orton chucks him through the table in disgust. JBL talks about Orton's vivid imagination. He's got a vivid imagination - he sees chinlocks in black and white and color. 4K chinlocks are coming in 2015. He brings the step base into the ring, which usually results in goofy stuff. Protobomb on the steps sets up a fistdrop, which of course looks silly. Orton counters an AA with a Chyna-style low blow. Punt misses and Cena gets the STF...boy is there a lot of daylight for 9:25. Cena chucks the step base at Orton, who moves out of the way of the slow-moving object.

AA hits and Cena gets 2. RKO out of a second AA for 2. Cole says it's ALMOST AN INVERTED RKO. Or you know, a regular one. Second AA actually hits for 2. Cena puts Orton on the table for the legdrop, but Orton counters and sets him up seemingly for a superplex through out. Nope. SUPER RKO tease sets up a Super AA for the win. Cena stared into the crowd, which they clarify is him staring at Heyman. Heyman GLARES ANGRILY!

Show and Henry did stuff backstage. "I'm gonna beat him for you (Henry looks on angrily)" Miz and Sandow came out and Cole talked about the one hour-long pre-show I happily skipped. Love Miz-Mizdow, but I'm so glad I skipped the pre-show since they're showing clips anyway. Sheamus is out and they reference shark-jumping. Cole rattling off Happy Days characters and their relationships here in 2014! Miz gets crotched and Sandow sells it marvelously, and then takes imaginary chest clubs on the bottom rope. MIZ ACCIDENTALLY PUNCHES MIZDOW! Sandow put himself on the steps when Miz was in the Finlay roll setup. JBL references voodoo and Bewitched, and the Energizer bunny. Miz gets 2 and Mizdow does the THAT WAS 3 bit. Miz gets some knees and JBL references territories. Mizdow chant breaks out and Miz eats a tilt a whirl slam. They do some goofy bullshit with cradles and distractions that are poorly-timed, Miz gets the Finale and gets 2. Miz hops into the Brogue kick and wins, so he can lose the US Title to Rusev! I don't know what this was. Commentary was God-awful and killed everything about it though. Sheamus raises Miz's hand a few times and Mizdow copies it. They do the YMCA bit in 2014. And then Sheamus kicked Miz again. Holy shitballs.

A skit airs where Brie takes horrible care of her phone by throwing it in her car, and then putting luggage on top. Also, Nikki pours her smoothie on her. Another month of this. 'MURICA FUCK YEAH time. This was an awesome video package.

Lana's out in a hot shiny pink dress. She pulls of Debra's look 1,000 times better than Debra ever could. Lana says that this match is to determine THE SUPREMACY OF THE WORLD! Show starts this off quickly with tons of body shots in the corner. Rusev counters with some leg work and Show gets the leg lift spot to escape. RUSEV SUPLEXES SHOW WITH EASE! Lana claps with great joy. Show is nearly put in the Accolade, but COUNTERS INTO THE HAAS OF PAIN. Well, that sure wasn't expected. Show's punch is teased, but leads to shoulder blocks and an Ole chant. Spear hits Rusev. Henry's out and Show hits a CHOKESLAM FOR AMERICA and gets 2. Rusev superkicks Show, then Henry, then Show again. Accolade is on and that's it for Show. If JBL's so tired of this, can't he just manage someone so they can beat him?  .

Awesome Survivor Series ad airs showcasing Paige, Ambrose, and Cena. Ambrose cuts a promo about Halloween is coming Friday and the most popular costume is the Seth Rollins - a combination of the Walking Dead's zombies and Dracula's mother. AJ-Paige is up and the stream goes all wonky. A fan yells at Paige to get some sunlight FOR ONCE! AJ gets 2 off a sunset flip. Paige does Morgan's shitty corner elbows that looked bad when a seven foot giant did them and looked worse here. Paige and AJ go for...something, but it gets turned into a side kick for 2. AJ gets a tornado DDT for 2. AJ gets a guillotine choke, but Paige turns it into a fallaway slam. They brawl on the floor and Paige gets pulled off the barricade by AJ after a fan in a Bray outfit takes some shots of her ass. She's dazed, takes AJ's finisher, and loses. AJ attacks Alicia. Okay then.

They hype up WWE Fallout with Cena after the show. To WWE's credit, they are going with what should be the final match in Seth-Ambrose. A long history package shows their past from the Shield to now with the goofy bullshit. Dean's out first with a weapon-carrying sash or somesuch. Dean's ready for war, motherfuckers!

Dean climbs up top and he's already armed with his weapons. They're going to make at least one star tonight with this. Dean climbs the cage, while Seth fills the ring with chairs. Noble and Mercury tell him to not climb up, and Seth says he'll do what he wants. And so he'll send them up! I love Noble getting a more corporate haircut. They brawl and then Seth jumps in for a Frye-Takayama bit. Mercury and Noble are in a WWE PPV event in 2014 - amazing. Noble eats a suplex on top, and they keep teasing that someone's either going off the top or through it. They brawl on the side of the cell and each man falls off of it halfway up. Wow!

They tease a non-finish here with each guy being helped. Cole says that the match itself never started due to both guys not being in the ring at the same time. Dean unstraps himself and goes to attack Seth! Dean attacks and throws Seth back in! The cage is padlocked and it's time for Hell! Seth gets up slowly while Dean sits in a chair and screams at him for turning his back on him. This is so great. Tons of chairs to the back for Dean.


Dean goes from that to using a screwdriver, but Seth avoids it - he can't avoid a dropkick into the cell ala Raw though. Dean goes for a suplex onto chairs, but Dean gets countered and eats a back suplex onto them. Seth sets up a ladder bridge, but it gets turned on him as Dean does the flying elbow through it - teased on SD. Kane blasts a fire extinguisher at Dean and blasts Seth right in the mouth with it. Dean goes through a table. CURB STOMP gets 2. Curb Stomp with the case is avoided by Dean, who misses a Dirty Deeds DDT, but hits a rebound lariat for 2. Dean gets cinder blocks and a yes chant. Dean goes for a poetic finish with a curb stomp through them, BUT CHANTING OCCURS! Bray's lantern is smoking mid-ring with a near-hologram. He hits a bodyblock, does the walk, hits the uranage and...yeah that was unexpected. Well, that didn't quite deliver what I was hoping for in any way. Sister Abigail is hit after the match.


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Friday, October 24, 2014

Bellator 130 - Newton-Vassell

Bellator brings Bobby Lashley back into the cage for his second fight in under two months. Given that he's 38, that seems a bit quick, but he really hasn't been injured all that much beyond his jacked-up shoulder in '07. He's a shockingly durable guy for someone carrying around so much mass, and tonight he's facing a dangerous knockout artist with no name who has the potential to make a name off of Lashley tonight. TNA really hyped up Lashley's first Bellator fight, but this past week's Impact was the first time I recall them bringing this one up. The timing of Lashley's title loss on-air is kind of perfect, because if he takes a beating or loses, or even wins after a long match, the TNA timeline of things happening on Wednesday allows a story to be told of him being exhausted - which fits into what Roode's promo brought up on Impact.

The pre-show Cops credits footage has JUGGLING! An excellent highlight reel for both of tonight's main eventers airs. Everyone else on the card gets a highlight reel and looks like a world-beater. Bellator's production has gotten a lot better on Spike, but this was one of the best things they've done to make the company look major league.

Dave Jansen vs. Rick Hawn 

 Rob Hinds is the referee for this bout. The first minute is spent with a lot of light jabs and kicks, but nothing major until Hawn either takes him down or Jansen slips - hard to tell which it was. Each man is fighting very tentatively, which fits into the story told of them being friendly with each other, but doesn't make for an exciting fight. Hawn goes for a left-right combo to counter Jansen's leg kicks, but nothing's getting through. This trend continues throughout the round, which ends after Jansen goes for an axe kick at the bell that Hawn gets his arm up for. This wasn't an exciting round, but could serve as a good place-setter if the leg kicks did any damage.

Jansen gets 10-9 via the Bellator app and Jimmy agrees - he was more active, while Hawn was largely defensive beyond his many punch attempts. Jansen gets more leg kicks, and Hawn finally lands a punch. The crowd is absolutely dead for this - you can hear each coach yell instructions like a TUF fight. Push kick to the thigh by Jansen allows him to recover from a punch that landed nicely. Jansen gets a few leg kicks and an uppercut. Jansen gets a switch kick to the jaw and some more leg kicks to close the round. The crowd is now audibly booing. If the first round was 10-9, this was 10-8 - Hawn had next to nothing here.

Round 3 starts off the same as the first two, but with a bit more up-close combat. Jansen has landed 49 kicks to 0 for Hawn. Jimmy Smith quoted Earnest Hemmingway here - so if you see nothing from this fight, check out the first two minutes of it for that. Smith hypes up the workrate of Jansen. The crowd goes crazy with booing as they do more of the same throughout round 3. They run through tonight's card, and Coenen-Bucci is next, followed by Lashley's fight, and then the main event. The fight ends with some back and forth punches that do no real damage. Janesen wins this fight easily.

An ad airs for Bas Rutten's BAS - Body Action System workout setup airs. Bas does his portion of the ad from what appears to be his own pool. Good for him. They have a highlight reel of Jansen's kicks, and use some really unique camera angles. I dug that - it's different and made the fight seem better. Jansen wins by unanimous decision. Jansen's red glasses and badass shirt were post-fight highlights.

The competitors for the main event are shown walking into the building, while the heavyweight fighters are shown backstage.

Marleos Coenen vs. Annalisa Bucci

Truncated intros are shown for this fight and then they go to a break. Mid-cage intros begin with Bucci getting booed, while Coenen's intro is strangely muted at points. "Big" John McCarthy is the ref here and Coenen starts off with a takedown and immediately goes for a choke. Nothing there, but she gets her hooks in for a choke from the back. Bucci hangs on and eventually gets out of this leading to her getting on top, but with Coenen still largely in control. This is a fine example of just how someone can dominate a fight while on their back. Bucci isn't doing anything that Coenen isn't allowing, and Jimmy Smith references Mike Tyson's Punch-Out - a game that remains fun to play decades later, unlike Bellator's own game. Hopefully, with the Yuke's engine not being used, they can strike a deal with them for a new game and increase the company's profile a bit. Big John orders a standup at the 3 minute mark with very little action. Coenen has her in a possible armbar, but the bell saves Bucci. 10-8 round for Coenen easily, as Bucci had nothing.

Coenen starts off quickly again and throws some punches to get her against the cage. She takes Bucci down, and there's some weird mic-bonking sound getting through here - it happened before, and it's happening now. Bucci is in the guard and hanging on for dear life. Big John tells her to stop stalling. Coenen continues to dominate by using her legs to move Bucci wherever she wants. Bucci is covering up like she's in a warzone trying to avoid gunfire, grenades, and/or grains of sand from coming anywhere near her. Coenen's going for a choke, while Bucci's hanging on to her wrist desperately. BUCCI SHOWS A SIGN OF LIFE! She gets on top voluntarily, but still can't do anything. This is a bad fight for each because it's clear Bucci isn't a match for Coenen in any way, but she's still not being finished, so Coenen doesn't look good - it's like she can't even beat this person who is doing anything possible to drag the fight on. Big John orders Bucci, who is still on top, to actually do something. Coenen is landing some nice elbows here. This show feels cursed, so Bucci will probably get a one-punch KO in round three.

Coenen's fight is a lot like Lashley's first Bellator one - the star's opponent is way out of their league, but the star doesn't shine because they're not finishing the fight as quickly as they logically should. Sean said we expected a squash for Coenen, but it hasn't been that. Well, not a Goldberg squash. More like a Goldberg squash with a lot of rest holds. Coenen takes her out early in the third round via an RNC. Another BAS ad airs with Pancrase clips. Well, I sure didn't expect to see that on national TV in 2014. They've got a new split screen for the post-fight promo and then showing the finish. Coenen came off really sweet here, and thanked Scott Coker for giving her a shot in both Strikeforce and Bellator.

Lashley is backstage without any Impact gear on whatsoever, while his opponent is shown boxing into pads. An ad airs for Tito-Bonnar, which continues to just make the company look bad. Beyond how contrived it seems, it's a bit sleazy to involve Tito's wife and then kids by proxy. Lashley is shown with a hype video about wanting to be a champion in MMA, while Etherington tells him he'll wish he was back in a pro wrestling ring. Lashley cut the best promo of his career promising to slice him up, which led to clips airing of his first Bellator fight. This was a spectacular video that made me oh so happy the fight was up next.

Bobby Lashley vs. Karl Etherington

Lashley has legit sponsors here, unlike his first Bellator fight - so he's definitely looking to be a regular here with TNA's future in doubt. Hinds is the referee here and they had a marvelous staredown. Lashley works him against the cage and Karl knees him right in the crotch. Hinds warns Karl, who gets a cheapshot in after the knee. They get stood up right in the center and Lashley gets him down and dominates with back-mount punches. Wow! Etherington tried to throw Lashley, couldn't do it, and lost the fight as a result. Lashley looked so great here - this was the fight he should've had before.  It was originally called a TKO by the commentators, but Hinds confirmed during the break that it was a submission by strikes. Jeremy Borash and others get their tweets about the fight on-air. Lashley says he's feeling great now and he talks about being so happy to get a big ovation from his home state. This couldn't have gone better for Bobby.

Randy Couture narrates a Dave and Busters video focusing on a legends signing. With Ken Shamrock back in the fold with UFC, I was a bit surprised to see him here. The main eventers are shown training a bit backstage and we get Jimmy's Key's to Victory before one last ad break.

Light Heavyweight World Title - Linton Vassell vs. Emanuel Newton

An awesome Newton video airs getting him over as a kind of silly guy, but a real badass too. They got over the spinning backfist as his finisher, which reminds me of the one Aja Kong threw on her Raw debut that was absolutely vile. Newton said his conversations with the universe revealed that the battle was already over. I half-expected him to talk about Hulk Hogan and airplanes, but thankfully, that didn't happen - he's quirky in some really good ways. Very memorable. 

Vassell's out first followed by the champion. Newton is coming out to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers theme! Maybe they can bring Jason David Frank in for a fight at some point. Newton goes for a spinning back kick that doesn't get anything. Kick feint leads to Newton switching stances fairly frequently. A spinning back body kick lands for Newton. The crowd was hot for the intros but has cooled down - it feels a bit more like a Japanese wrestling show though where they're paying attention, because they're popping at points. Newton tries for a takedown, but Vassell gets on top and then goes to the back for an RNC. Vassell lets the choke go and Newton flies up, but gets locked into a Kimura sweep instantly. Newton recovers, but quickly finds himself on his back in a crucifix position eating elbows. Newton gets his back and goes for his own RNC. This was an outstanding first round - I'd give Vassell the edge 10-9. Hopefully the remaining rounds can match this one for sheer excitement

Newton goes for a takedown, but it's stuffed. Vassell gets a kimura and it's real close - the arm is torqued and he escapes! Vassell gets back on top and drops some elbows. Now he's landing some shorter punches. Surprisingly, they plug Lashley's match with Roode for the World Title. It's not a huge shock or anything, but you'd think they'd do it before his fight. Lashley's win tonight probably gives TNA a very valuable bargaining chip once again. Vassell gets an RNC, but Newton escapes. Newton slips onto Vassell's back and lands some strikes. A Glory highlight reel aired to hype up the top 20 KOs special airing after this show. 

Newton starts the third round with a spinning back kick to the stomach with nothing behind it. This is Vassell's fight, and title, to win. Accidental cup shot with the left foot to Vassell buys Newton some time. Newton goes for a takedown and get's got a grip on the waist from the back, but not really gaining anything beyond some light strikes to the head. Still, he's dominating, and that's good for him. Vassell regains control to close the round. 

Newton starts off round four with a big belly to belly takedown. Newton gets some strikes, but he's largely just holding him down. Vassell appears to be a bit gassed.  Newton's not doing much other than getting warned about back of the head strikes, and Big John wanting work. This was the worst round so far. Newton got some more strikes to the back of the head, but Big John rightfully tells Vassell to stop turning his head when he sees the punches coming. Vassell looked good to start, but Newton's looked better in the last two.

The final and deciding round is upon us. Newton takes him down, gets the RNC, and wins! Wow, that came out of nowhere and early on, this looked like it was Vassell's fight to win. Coker barely has time to strap the belt on Newton before he hops around. I haven't noticed this before, but they've got their logo on the leather - nice look for the title and their belts definitely look better than UFC's. They hype up Newton-McGeary next year and the show ends with a Tito-Bonnar video. The first fight was largely skippable, while Coenen's fight will be fine in highlights and both the Lashley fight and main event are worth watching in full.

WWE SmackDown 10-24-14

Dean starts off and says unlike what was said on Raw, he hurts. Unlike Mick, he's not a nice guy underneath the violent facade and he doesn't have a family to go home to and be accountable for. THIS SUNDAY, SETH ROLLINS LEARNS THAT NO MATTER HOW FAT YOUR WALLET GETS, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT TO HELL! Seth tells him that vengeance isn't a lottery - it's cheap and not worth a damn. He's the future and he's priceless. Mos Mizes beat the Matadores, with one tapping mid-ring and the other being in the figure four on the floor. Great finish - should've been on Raw. AJ beat Alicia with a distraction schoolgirl. Wyatts video.

Show-Cole sitdown features tons of stilted clips. Show talks about the troop and treats it like it was real, which is both good, and maybe not the smartest thing. I liked them using Tribute to the Troops stuff here. They also showed some Hogan promo stuff from Raw's post-show too. This was good, but it went on and on. Dolph's out to face Cesaro for the title. Gorgeous monkey flip from Cesaro was flipped out of. They exchange counts and Dolph eats a post for a break. Dolph uses a sleeper to get back into things and gets 1 off the elbows. Cesaro counters a guillotine choke with a deadlift suplex for 2. Wacky spinning facebuster/gutbuster thing gets 2 for Cesaro. Swing is countered and then the uppercut that got the win is countered into a Zig Zag for a win - good match here.

Heel Total Divas face the face ones in a six-person tag. Nikki beats Brie with the Rack Attack. Okay then. Cell numbers. Hogan Raw recap. Usos are out with Henry to face the Dust Bros and Bo. One of Bo's worst Bo-dogs yet wins. Cesaro challenges Dolph to a 2/3 match and he accepts. Seth came out with props to talk and talk and talk and talk. Raw clips air and Dean jumps him and THEY FIGHT WITH THE TOYS! Like kids. Mercury and Noble get physical with Dean here. Noble does a flip for the rebound lariat and Mercury eats the DDT. FLYING ELBOW OFF THE TOP TO NOBLE THROUGH A TABLE. So that'll be a key spot in the Cell.  They had a big staredown and damn would it be a mistake to not have these guys close the show - they've still got something with him after the bad Raw booking.

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Thursday, October 23, 2014

WWE NXT 10-23-14

Before the show, Goldust's thing aired as did a plug for WWE Rivalries with some nice old-fashioned poster art. The Ascension starts off the show. WHY!? They're facing Jordan and Dillinger. God, their reverse-colored gear looks so shitty. Jordan is the generic-looking dude without tattoos, while Dillinger does. Albert talks about how fat Konnor is. Well, he's plump. Fall of Man hits and that's it. Itami comes down and gets beaten down, leading to Itami getting a "thanks for coming" chant. Well, this run really hasn't gone great for Itami so far. I was hoping this was Balor's debut, but it wasn't. Neville-Titus is hyped as the main event. Tyler is in action NEXT!

A Komen ad airs and then they do the usual LOOK AT ALL WE'RE DOING FOR CHARITY, LOOKITLOOKITLOOKIT bit. CJ's out to face Tyler, so I guess he's a heel that even other heels hate. Stream gets Real Player-level early on. CJ gets 2 off a double sledge off the top. Mojo came out looking really pissed off - I'm sensing a heel turn from him with this attitude, beard, and character motivation. Smooth rana from Breeze. Parker misses the Booker T kick, but Tyler hits the Beauty Shot for the win. Titus is backstage barking to scare the interviewer so she won't ask him the generic questions he knows she'll ask. After tonight, he'll be the N-X-T-I-T-U-S Champion! Vaudevillains are next. But first, a Corbin video.

Vaudevillains are out and I love them at least acting a bit more sinister to fit the new, awesome theme. They're facing the not-Machine Gun and not-AJ guy from last week. Blake and Murphy. Yup, great names. Aiden demolishes the arm in a lot of neat ways. Murphy spins through a schoolboy, but his partner eats an uppercut and a neckbreaker. IT'S BAYLEY and some fans have Bullet Club shirts. She's facing Sasha. Sasha can't hide for long, and eventually eats a sliding European uppercut to the neck and then the flying sliding D-ish thing for 2. Bayley comes in, but eats a boot from Sasha who gains control in the corner. Sasha goes rope to rope for a SLIDING SLAP! Ha! And she gets 2! Sasha chokes her in the ropes. Bayley fights back with a corner back elbow. Bayley picks her up, but Sasha slips through and nails the smooth Back Stabber>Crossface Bank Statement combo. Sasha doesn't want to take the move off and then beats her afterwards. Becky comes out for the save. They hug and then BECKY ATTACKS HER. Crowd popped big for this. Sasha looked on approvingly. Becky's new take no shit character rules - her facial expressions here were fantastic. Carmella in a leopard print getup talked on the phone about winning, and then Enzo came out in his black and leopard print getup. He's not just a G - HE'S 4G - well-connected. Cass gets a kiss, but Enzo wants his sugar and Cass tells him it's in Regal's tea. THIS RULED!

Titus is out first followed by Neville. The announcer's CHAMPION-SHIP! call is just dreadful. Titus is working like a giant here, which works since Neville can fly for him. Titus shoves him off the top to the floor and Neville takes a nasty bump. Gets 2. Ragdoll bearhug from Titus after the break. Neville goes limp and Titus just tosses him - but he doesn't follow up. Neville avoids a corner charge and hits a leaping Cro Cop kick! Titus responds with a giant boot to the face for 2. Neville fights back with corner kicks and...he actually hits the Red Arrow off of them. Well, that was odd - I'd have done the leaping Cro Cop kick to set up the finish, and the usual hope spot kicks for the hope spot. The finish was a bit flat, but the match was really enjoyable. Sami and Neville had a little promo exchange at the end. Not a bad episode, but only the main event and the women's match were worth going out of your way to see. The booking of Itami and the crowd's new reaction to him is worrisome.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

TNA Impact 10-22-14

Today's been pretty rocking - got a review done way ahead of schedule and I've been up all day for the first time in a while. On the downside, my hard drive with 4-ish years of wrestling show screens is all wonky. I first noticed it trying to save the Figure Four Daily with Jimmy Jacobs, but it spread to everything. I might be able to fix it fairly simply though as the drive is still recognized. I had a lot of them backed up to DVDs at one point - so between that and imagebam, I might have 80% or so of things saved. Beyond that, I won't miss anything beyond my Pete and Pete stuff, which is also largely backed up on DVDs too. Cops before the show has a guy getting arrested for child molestation, getting into a fight, pissing and shitting himself, biting a cop, and breaking another one's nose. This STARTS the show. The second story has a guy getting stabbed after a guy grabs his kid, and he wanders into a fast food joint to get some help. Jesus, this guy's bleeding a ton. Thankfully, the kid is fine.

The opening video focuses on Roode's inner monologue as he heads towards ONE MORE MATCH with Lashley. A goofy bullshit Wolves video was also in here. Matt's out to call someone out as his partner. Why wouldn't he team with Jeff? Why doesn't this thing have brackets? Tenay says he should pick Jeff and he does. Why bother doing this? DJZ's out first followed by Jesse - I'm sensing a filler-filled show here. Tenay plugged The Amazing Race, and with Dixie apparently having a "shocking" network in talks, I could see it being CBS. They briefly mentioned Lashley being on Friday's Bellator show. If Lashley wins and does well in the ratings, I could see Spike making another play for them just to keep things civil. Until Dixie actually announces that new deal, I figure anything's possible. Tenay's plugging the Hardy and Willow bundles. Neither he or Taz are actually calling the match itself. Nice double whip from the Hardys into the buckle leading to a double back suplex to Jesse. Roode-Lashley is next Wednesday - is that the finale? I don't remember any tapings past Roode winning. Tenay plugged the Bro Mans being kings of reality TV, completely puzzling Taz who had NO EARTHLY IDEA WHAT TENAY WAS TALKING ABOUT. They might've called two moves this whole match. Hardy gets 2 off the legdrop. Jeff swantons Jesse and Matt covers for the win. Far too much of this was bewildering. We got replays of that and they hyped up the Roode-Lashley contract signing.

They pushed Hardy and Willow bundles in the ShopTNA ad. Bram and his Seth Rollins-level generic theme came out. Bram likes A SOUND, A SOUND OF SOMETHING HITTIN FLESH and he's more than Magnus's friend - HE'S THE NEW KING OF HARDCORE! And he's coming for DEVON! Well, might as well bring back the TV Title or something. Have them all fight for it and rename it the extreme title. Bram talked about everyone knowing who he is a few too many times. I YAM BRAM! Devon's out to fight. Oh God. They punched, kicked, and choked. Goons came out and then Kurt came out to tell security to break it up. They did. He made Devon-Bram in a hardcore match - great, just what we needed. Ditto BRITTANY ACTING with Shaw. She's orange and in bright neon green - not the greatest look. Show's only 25 minutes in and it's dragging badly.

For some reason, this brawl isn't next. Instead, it's Low-Ki - I'm fine with that. He's in a tag team now for the tourney. He's got a Gracie JJ patch on his jacket now, and he's teaming with Joe. Shaw's out shirtless again with his weird-looking cover-up tattoos. They're really sloppy with some parts that look Sharpied in. He picks Gunner as his partner, and I don't see this going well for the team or as a match. Gunner cut an intense promo befitting MISTER INTENSITY THE MODERN DAY VIKING THE MDV about teaming with Shaw. Joe machine-gun punches Shaw in the corner. Gunner and Ki came in for a chop battle. Gunner hit a nice diving lariat/Vader bodyblock combo. Brittany's out chatting with Shaw on the apron. She's angry because...he's fighting for a title shot I guess. Gunner yells at Brittany for being down there, and he leaps into a kick. Joe came in and kicked Gunner's ass too. Gunner does HHH's facebuster as a calf branding. Brittany grabs Gunner's leg, Low-Ki hits the cartwheel kick, and Joe taps him out. This was a clusterfuck in so many ways. I do not mind Brittany's yoga pants. She and Gunner talk, Shaw hits Gunner in the back with a chair over and over. Hopefully TNA doesn't have a you break it, you buy it policy. They make out rolling all over Gunner - well, that's a new twist on the catfight spot. EC3 quoted "In the Air Tonight", so I already love his match in the tag tourney before it happens.

Lashley's asked about the Roode deal, and MVP talks for him - he throws King a softball, but he has no idea what to say. King and MVP enter the tag tourney so the whole crew can have some gold. Rebel's ass is out to face Love, but Havok's out instead. Punch, legdrop, chokeslam. Gail returns in street gear to fight Havok. Big beal on the ramp to Gail - why take that bump now? Gail gets up and fights, so again, why take it? Two people chant "let them fight", they do. Devon-Bram is next after the break. Boy what an hour one main event.

 In a far better move, they went with a Roode video package talking about his journey to the title. Treating it seriously, even in the state TNA is in, makes the World title seem so much more important than it does in WWE. Kurt says he's not going to have a contract signing just for the sake of it - he'll have a BIG announcement for it to raise the stakes. Bram's out first, followed by Devon. They punch, and kick and bonk and smash and hit, it's the Devon and Brammy Show! Devon gets some water and spits it at Bram - he's hardcore, he's hardcore! Cans, lids, and chairs oh my! Trash canchairto with the chair, and the chairs are all airy, so he might've wound up swinging it a bit harder. Bram bonked him with can lids. I think I had this match all the time in SmackDown: Shut Your Mouth. Devon ballshot sets up a corner can toss. Trash can to the balls sets up a headbutt off the top to the balls, but Magnus canes him. Bram hits him with Mr. Turnbuckle and Bram wins. Anderson chats with Melendez, and he wants him to be his partner against MVP and King. Chris thankfully reminds everyone of what they did to him. Melendez looked 45 with this backstage lighting.

Anderson came out and introduced himself and SAAARRRGGEEE! Anderson and King go at it for a bit, leading to MVP and Chris going at it a bit on the apron. MVP goes for the flying nothing, but catches the foot and then misses an elbow. King's in followed by Sarge. He runs wild and gets a Perfectplex for 2. His leg can't go down, so it's not a smart move for him. It's still amazing to see what he can do, and King gets a distraction schoolboy for the win. EY meets with Spud, and Spud says he has no job - so why is he here, why did EC3 challenge him, and how is EY able to be his partner?  Tito-Bonnar ad is okay.

Wolves chit-chat and them Storm whistles and calls Davey over to him. Storm's dark brown leather jacket looks awesome. Storm wants Manik to cut a promo on how great the Revolution is, and they cut away. TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT is EC3 and Tyrus against Spud and EY. Holy God. Okay, so Spud apparently isn't EY's partner. Nope, he is. Tenay is baffled by this as well, so yeah this is a bit too goofy. EC3 brought up the I'M WITH SPUD MOVEMENT. EC3 added "you wish you could" to the "You Can't Wrestle" bit. The heat machine went crazy at EC3. Spud came out finally to wrestle. After all of this bullshit, they went to a break. Fuck this show.

Spud's black, neon green, and silver getup is amusing. EC3 tags out to Tyrus. Spud wants to tag out, but EY slaps the buckle to fire him up. Spud fires at Tyrus with leg kicks and forearms! Sternum headbutt hurts him. Big heart punch from Tyrus - while it was taped a while ago, this was a fine tribute to Ox Baker! Tenay did some voice over citing that and plugged his Escape From New York role. Tyrus hit the Big Ending to counter Spud's sleeper. Spud bumps halfway across the ring for the SHEE-YA suplex. Corner avalanche misses and gives Spud some time. Tyrus just slams him down and steps on his hand to tag EC3 in. I love EC3 being a chickenshit against Spud - and a hurt Spud at that. EY gets a tag and hits the flying elbow for 2. EY dives on them. EY holds up the heels for a flip dive off the top! Tyrus gets the goozle slam off of Spud flying into his arms due to EY being knocked into the ropes by EC3, who tags in to get the win. Spud shined brightly here as did Tyrus all things considered. First round is over so Tenay recaps it verbally - no visual brackets though. Contract signing is next.

Lashley-Roode is next week, EC3 and Tyrus face the Hardys, and Joe/Ki face MVP and King. Kurt came out to announce that he's got a stip neither Roode nor Lashley know about. Roode's out in a nice jacket, jeans, and a business casual shirt. Lashley's out in a nice suit wearing the title as a belt. MVP talks a bit of smack and then Kurt asks if either side has anything to say. Bobby says all he loves in wrestling, while Bobby's split between wrestling and MMA. Roode cut a damn good promo about fighting Lashley with the determination that will put the title around his waist. MVP said Lashley would destroy anyone in a wrestling ring, an MMA cage, a street fight, or even on the moon! All MVP does is point him to the ring and the opponent's bell gets rung! This is by far the best overall thing that could've happened for either MVP or Lashley as Lashley's stock really went up with this run, while MVP's got a solid run as both a manager had has been able to do some good work in the ring too. Angle says he'll add a special ref. MVP says EY's gonna be the ref, and Kurt says he's wrong - the ref will be HIM! Roode signs it and Lashley goes away from his crew to sign too. A couple of clips are shown from the match, but nothing that spoils anything. Good closing angle, bad show overall.

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Monday, October 20, 2014

WCW Halloween Havoc 1991 pt1

Since the Pro Wrestling Torch site has a new Wayback Playback show with Jim Valley and Pat McNeill where they watch shows in a few parts and do alternate commentary, I've decided I'll watch the shows and write alongside them. The only thing I don't like about this is it is split into three parts spread across a couple of weeks, so actually watching the shows in a single sitting isn't done by either them or the viewers/listeners, and the flow is all messed up. I'll give it a shot for tonight since it's only an hour and I'm in the mood for something that isn't Raw.

In an annoying bit, the show starts off just fine, then immediately starts and restarts for an ad. And it happened again. What in the fuck. It gets to Simmons's face on the tombstone and ends. All right, this is a failure on the Xbox One, so I'll try it on the PS4 where it defaults to 1080i and thus makes getting good screens much harder than the 720p max output I get on my Xbox One. Plus, the PS4's UI doesn't leave the screen for quite some time, so I can't get any good shots of the silly opening. Tony has a peach-colored bowtie on. Jack and Abby are out in a large car and they joke about it having to be the biggest car he ever rented. DDP's out with Hall, who has an awesome shirt on. Barry's out in a fairly old Benz by this point. The Enforcers jump him and he's saved late by Dustin. Dustin drives him to the hospital. El Gigante is out first, followed by Vader, the Diamond Stud, Cactus Jack with a chainless chainsaw, the Steiners, Abby, and Sting - so the chamber of horrors is the opener!

Rick's orange and black Halloween getup looks so much better than a lot of his early '90s crap.  EARLY STING-VADER! Someone hops out of the coffin and is beaten up. Rick slams him and he then goes to casket #2. Oh God, it's the refer-eye camera! A small cage with the CHAIR OF TORTURE LOWERS and takes up tons of the ring. This means that like a dozen guys have nowhere to move. Sting tosses a tiny coffin lid onto Jack's head and he bumps for it. Stud is slammed on a coffin and guys in white shirts are out. Scott busts a stick on Jack and busts his head open. Sting and Jack fight on the cage, which is nice. They handcuff the masked man. Jack took a bump over the top to the floor that they basically miss. Jim and Pat go over the Cruncher nickname's origins. They show the switch in the down position, which Mick brought up before and Jim and Pat talk about now. Abby is choking Sting. They show the guys in white shirts, and they have white face paint on because why not. The announcers talk about the issue with the switch. Lots of random weapon bonks, which is all anyone can do due to the chair taking up so much real estate. Mick flips the switch and Abby gets fried with the headgear nowhere near Abby's head. Pat and Jim talk about the "kid-friendly" era here where you had a death penalty match and in the WWF, Jake using the snake on Randy. Abby gets up and walks on the guys putting the stage back up and beats up the goons.  Tony is just gobsmacked by all of this.

Bischoff is backstage as a vampire, while Missy is a showgirl. A rather hot showgirl. Young Pistols are backstage with them in less garish getup than Miss. THE CREATURES are coming out to Psychosis's theme.  Creatures are apparently Johnny Rich and Joey Maggs. They're facing PN NEWS AND BIG JOSH. PN News rapped and the very white fans danced to it. PN attacks his with fat and a dropkick. Then again with his fat. BEAUTIFUL German from Josh! PN's whole body is covered and he just looks so fat. News misses the corner avalanche by a mile and even Tony says he missed it by a mile. Borne no-sells their stuff, and just kills Maggs with a powerbomb. Josh hits the Earthquake splash and the Rapmaster sofa drop wins.  They do a slow-mo replay of the finish and somehow miss it.

Jim Ross is excited about Eaton-Taylor. Bobby's shiny jacket is a bit garish, but not too awful. Taylor looks odd, while Terri with dark red hair and lack of giant tits is bizarre. Taylor looks like a ripoff of the Million Dollar Man with the suit. Nice fast action between the two sets up a lariat from Bobby. It's so great hearing the Torch guys bury the laptop at the time for mostly being off and point out that Terry shouldn't have worn the same red gear he did as the Rooster and that Race wore his King getup on WCW TV. A bad jawjacker gives Taylor the lead here. SLAM ON THE RAMP followed by a flying knee to the ramp. Ouch. Taylor takes a silly flip bump back in. Eaton eats a knee and is sent to the barricade. Flair-ish knee from Taylor gets 2. Pat tells a story about Bill Dundee not wanting his daughter to to marry a wrestler - until he found out it was Bobby. Doctor bomb on the ramp!  Slam to Bobby shows off how nasty the ring looks. Splash gets 2 from Taylor. Rear chinlock from Taylor kills time. Jim Ross talks about Taylor just now cracking the top 10, and the winner here being in the hunt for the TV Title. I love the little things like that. Sunset off the top gets 2 for Bobby. Taylor gets the non-arm clutching camel clutch. Bobby back elbows out of things. Sleeper from Terry gets a jaw breaker here, and wow is Bobby in shape. Taylor gets knees up for a splash, while Bobby does the same thing for a pump splash. Bobby gets a nice punch flurry mid-ring. Bobby gets the corner punches and Terry tries to get him mid-ring, but gets atomic dropped and hit with a swinging neckbreaker. Taylor avoids the jam, but eats a punch going for a superplex and then takes a GIGANTIC bump for that, eats the jam, and that's it. This was long, but pretty good overall. Tony is near-comatose right now.

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