Monday, December 29, 2014

WWE Raw 12-29-14

Tonight's Raw is theoretically a huge one - although you wouldn't really know it based on advertising. They've known Brock's coming in for weeks, but didn't build that up. Nope, instead Edge and Christian got the ad time. Bryan's also got big news to reveal, so one way or another, it's a big night. Roman vs. Seth with no hype tonight. Amazing. On the pre-show Riley says it's six months in the making. Yup. And we're getting it with no buildup.

The show starts with clips of Edge's retirement. This is a fantastic video package. Then they show clips of E and C. It's amazing how obsessed this company is with the Attitude era. It's like Al Bundy with Polk High. Edge is wearing a Sami Zayn shirt - good on him. It's amazing how much younger Edge looks now. Edge proposes a CUTTING EDGE PEEP SHOW tonight with Seth Rollins. Gotta love talking to set up more talking. Edge and Christian are just so clearly blasting through as many of their lines as humanly possible so the crowd can't react. Christian makes Dolph vs. Rusev, so I guess Dolph loses. Christian really wants to see Dolph and Rusev nude for some reason. Nope - he meant Lana, of course. They cue up a five second pose, BUT DOOM IS ON ITS WAY!

In passing, King mentioned that Christian's retired. Hell of a sendoff for him. Tommy Dreamer got a whole show, while Christian got literally nothing. Heyman talks about his client penetrating the virgin neck of Cena, which is odd. Cena comes out. LOL @ Cena being all badass here. Brock is just chilling in the corner not giving a fuck. Cena, being a coward, threatened the middle-aged manager and teased an AA. Well, that was indeed a way to start this buildup. Dolph-Rusev is next.

Cole, speaking for Vince, talks about Obama hating the new Congress. JBL talks about Putin watching live on the Network...no. Dolph gets a dropkick and the leaping DDT for 2 and an act break. We return to Dolph eating a reverse body block on the apron. On the app, Dolph ate a slingshot. Dolph fights out of the corner with an uppercut and a missile dropkick - Rusev working against faster guys results in great matches. He had one with Ambrose and is having another one here. Dolph gets 2 off a Fameasser and 2.5 off a superkick! Rusev of course gets DQed for kicking too much ass. Rusev locks on the Accolade in the ropes - which was a fantastic spot that should've been saved for PPV. Ryback makes the save with the Meathook. Cole plugs Rivalries on the Network after the show. WOW, ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, YOU CAN WATCH THE HALL OF FAME AND WM XXX! JBL said he's not great at math, but it would be stupid to pay $55 for the Royal Rumble when you can pay $10. OH MY GOD, they're continuing to bury PPV. They get way way way way more than they deserve for Survivor Series and what do they do? Shit all over the people spending the most on their product.
 
 
 Ryback talks about how he wants to talk to the fans. 10 years ago, he was on Tough Enough. He was depressed, didn't talk to his family, worked in Louiville for 12 hours a day. He returned to an empty apartment and all he had was a stack of WM DVDs, and he came across The Secret, which changed his life. What's The Secret to Ryback's WWE success? Nexus stuff now. They're really going all out with him - can't blame them for trying. He shows off his massive leg scar from snapping his leg and got a huge ovation for it. They showed the return of Ryback as Ryback with some great WM shots and clips of him killing people. So yeah - Ryback's beating Rusev. Such a shame this is over the U.S. Title instead of the World Heavyweight Title. Shocked they didn't show him Shellshocking Punk on the cell. Ryback says it's not about USA vs. Russia - IT'S ABOUT A BIG GUY KICKING A BIG GUY'S ASS THING! I really enjoyed that - they're doing something with him and making an honest effort to give people a backstory you can care about.
Nikki beats Nattie in a nothing match that was basically a backdrop to this Kidd-Nikki thing. Mizdow talks to a guy. Naomi talking. And talking. And talking. And talking. She's wearing an Uso shirt, so she's turning with Miz tonight. Usos come out followed by the champions. This actually gets a big match intro. Miz takes some basic stuff. THEN MIZ EATS A DOUBLE ATOMIC DROP AND THINGS GET GREAT as he hops on the buckle and goes down selling his ass.
 
  USO CRAZY is met with a neck snap for 2. Chops. Schoolboy. Uso dive. This is one of those "they're doing moves" matches. Miz gets the figure 4, but eats a Tequila Sunrise. This got really hot afterwards with a superkick>dive getting 2, then the finale getting 2.9! SAMOAN SUPERKICK PARTY sets up a dive and the win. Shocked Naomi didn't get involved in the finish - I guess that happens at the PPV. King does a mid-ring interview with the new champs, which at least feels fresh. The less fat Uso plugs JR's BBQ. Amazed to see a JR reference right before the PPV. The fatter Uso is Jimmy. King talks about Bryan joining the ranks of Edge and Christian, so he's not retiring. Remember. THE SHIELD!? Dafuq with that? A wacky violin song plays a Shield vid. This did a fine job of setting up what should be a WM main event. This is such a great hype video...for the TV main event that wasn't advertised before tonight. Should've been a PPV main event.
 
 
 Cesaro's slumped in the corner with a PROFESSIONAL shirt on. He's tired of being told that he doesn't connect - he doesn't, HE DELIVERS! He doesn't care about elaborate intros - he just cares about wrestling. FOUR ROPES...FOUR SIDES! YAY IT'S TIME FOR SOME BAD NEWS! BNB now stands for Brand New Body. JBL buries Cesaro for "four ropes" and Barrett boots Cesaro to the floor. Big double sledge off the top from Cesaro. And now JBL's burying Cesaro and talking about the metric system. Well, I was excited about this match before it happened. Cesaro teases a swing, but delivers a half crab. Bull Hammer hits. Well, that's it for Cesaro. Maybe he can be Mizdow's stunt double. Can Cesaro just go to New Japan now? And that's how you re-heat, and then absolutely kill, bury, and put several landmines around the gravesite just to be sure a career stays dead. Harper talks about being a nightmare come to life.

I'M SEEING DOUBLE! TWO KRATOS! Swagger's out and he's just got nothing without Zeb. Swagger-Harper's up. Crowd goes whisper quiet for this. They do some moves. JBL talks about Harper being a former NXT Tag Team champion for the first time ever. Patriot lock is countered into a superkick. Unlike WM 21, this is just a 2 in a nothing match. CLOTHESLINE FROM SMELL wins and wow did that do nothing for anyone. Cena and Christian talk about Edge taking the WWE Title in '06. "Comedy" time. Cena thanked Edge for sacrificing for him.

IT'S THE HASHTAGBIGDAWGJUGGERNAUTTHESUPERSTAROFTHEYEAR! Then Show comes out for commentary followed by Seth. Roman dominates. Guys talk and talk and talk. And now thanks to this commentary, I don't care about Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins. Show's treating Reigns EXACTLY like he did Alberto saying "YOU'RE THEIR HERO!" long before there was a real reason for it. This chinlock should cure what ails this show. Oh thank God, it goes over a commercial break too. WWE went from seeming progressive to stale within the span of an hour of TV. That's terrifying. After several dozen chinlocks, Roman sent him into the buckle, but he ate the flatliner into the buckle. Roman with the Mark of Excellence...which is nearly identical to Cena's setup move. Roman eats a big kick, gets 2. Superman punch hits, but they miss the shot. He goes for a spear, but Show gets involved. OH NO! THE TABLE THAT ALWAYS BREAKS LANDED ON HIS LEGS!
They came back and said that EVERY PART OF HIS BODY COULD BE HURT, and he struggled to get to his feet. Dead. Seth talked to the goons. OH MY GOD MORE TALKING. I completely forgot about the Cutting Edge Peep Show. He wants Cena on the show, so we're getting Cena-Seth for the title, definitely. Goofy Dean-Wyatt video. I can't wait for their St. Valentine's Day Massacre match. Ambulance match is set for the first Raw of the new year. Bray talks about ambulances taking us to beginning and ending life. This will apparently be their final match. Bray hops into his conveniently-placed ambulance and leaves. Okay then.

They plugged Santino's new years party on Main Event. I demand a refund for my $9.99. Bryan's out, and we've got Seth on the CEPS, so Ascension gets the death slot. Well, they'd get it anyway down the line, but what a start for them.  Bryan talks about 2014 being the year where he main evented WM, won the WWE Title, got married...and then his dad died. He then needed surgery and doctors couldn't fix him. He cried about his dad and talked about how being in the ring is the only thing that takes the pain away. Bryan talked to his family, talked to Edge, and he realized it was time to make a decision. Is he going to retire? NO. IS HE GOING TO COMPETE IN THE 2015 ROYAL RUMBLE!? YES! And the roof will blow off the place. Edge and Christian sing a kazoo version of the Miz's theme.  Edge had a puppet. They made Miz and Mizdow wrestle next. Thank God Miz and Mizdow interrupted Edge and Christian or the Ascension would have no opponents.
 Bray and Dean go on the Peep Show on SD. OH THANK GOD, MORE AMBROSE AND BRAY TALKING! Mizdow got a jobber intro. The Ascension didn't actually ascend - they just did the faux-lift up bit with their legs. Ascension squashed them in a nothing match. They're doomed despite not even looking bad - they just didn't look very good either. Seth talked to Renee. Here I thought WWE was using Brock foolishly. Silly me - he'll be on The Cutting Edge Peep Show.

The set is just a black canvas with a handful of chairs. Hell of a budget for this. Lots of jokes. I'd be fine with Edge and Christian retiring from hosting talk shows too. Seth talked for a while. Then he brought out Big Show to talk. Seth talked some more. Fans put their coats on to leave. Edge talked about how Seth has no charisma. Seth talks about wanting Cena out here because he wants something from him. Seth attacked Christian, who can still take a stomach bump and they teased a gang beating on Edge. Edge actually got kinda physical here being put on the case. Seth threatened to paralyze Edge if John didn't come out. Why? What about this feud has gotten to anything close to this level? This sure escalated to a ridiculous level for some reason. There are many missing chapters in this book. After a century, Cole explained that Seth wanted the Authority back. THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS!? I thought he'd demand a title shot. The live sex celebration took less time than this. And with that. With literally no hype or buildup, we're getting The Authority back after a month. After a decade, we got to the big reactions we'll see in video packages that take up 10 seconds. And now HHH has teleportation powers. The Authority didn't even get a week of hype for a TV return - they're just back instantly. Holy shit. They've really gone off the rails completely.

Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/sk4q5iabk5xcqbuccqq4907pnhtlrh1k

Friday, December 26, 2014

WWE SD 12-26-14


Hogan comes down and talks about his memorable SD moments with Bryan and Edge. Loved Seth saying that he grew up loving Hogan, but now, it's his ring, so Hogan should stay out of it. "DON'T YOU BROTHER ME, BROTHER!" Seth is so great. Dolph comes out and talks. Roman comes down and talks. Show comes down and is shut down by Roman. Hogan makes Reigns and Dolph against Show and Seth. Ryback wins over Kane when Rusev interferes and it's not a DQ, so he wins with the Shellshock. Ryback eats 2 Hogan-Taker '02-level chokeslams and gets put in the Accolade - so that win did him some good. Hogan tells Rusev he'll defend the title tonight! BROTHER AND SISTER! Naomi beats Alicia with a split-legged moonsault. Naomi and her hubby are happy backstage. A nine hour recap of Raw airs. Recap of Rose losing to Truth, which I've completely forgotten about from Raw. Rose beats Truth here.
 
 Dean is the mystery opponent for Rusev and has easily Rusev's fastest-paced match yet until Bray comes out and attacks. Jimmy Uso beats Miz after a Samoan superkick party and a Superfly dive. Goldust's dressed as Sorcerer Mickey and Stardust is saying shit - and this company couldn't get a giant ad rate increase? Astonishing. Seth and Roman start, which makes sense since Roman SWORE VENGEANCE ON SETH FOR MONTHS and all. Dolph bumps for Show. Seth bumps for Roman, and Roman beats Seth with a spear. Wow.

So yeah, I wouldn't have had Seth lose that. This was a nothing show overall, but one with some iffy booking at times. I think it was worthwhile just to see Seth and Hogan share a ring - Seth felt like a legit main event guy in there, even with his bad theme, tron, iffy shirt, Billy and Chuck logo, and wacky leather gear. Roman's slow clap at the end was amusing.

Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/rw48pmk57po7rtnx84wwg54xz54vif99

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

WWF The Main Event February 3, 1989

 
 This is being done for episode 14 of the Wayback Playback, and it sets up the Mega Powers exploding. We get the Mega Powers vs. Twin Towers here. Show starts with a feud recap, then JESSE IS ON-SCREEN WITH A LIME GREEN BOA! Twin Towers are backstage and Akeem is dancing. Akeem's earning a paycheck doing this dance - good for him. Fans are dancing with Akeem here, which is hilarious. Mega Powers video gets generic music. Superstars of Wrestling goes unblurred here. This is the fat Bossman phase - he lost TONS of weight within a year. LOVE IS RUNNING THROUGH THE MEGA POWERS, AND LOVE IS GONNA TEAR DOWN THE TWIN TOWERS! LOVE WILL LEAD THE MEGA POWERS TO VICTORY! Savage really makes the matching gear work for him by going with a high-quality robe and the like. Pat talks about Randy preventing Liz from being with the other wrestlers, and he points out that there were tons of drug addicts and given how she died, it was probably a wise move to do that. It also really explains why Savage never talked to Lex again.

They chat with Liz, which Jesse points out is stupid. Savage hops out and gets a huge pop leading to Hogan-Bossman to start. Hogan runs wild and Savage hops back in. Bossman clubs away at Hogan and then Bossman kindly bonks his own head into the buckle for eons. Savage jumps Bossman on the floor from behind. Savage and Hogan bop Akeem back and forth. Axe bomber sets up a full nelson and then a double sledge from Savage. Hogan hops off the second rope to do one - badly. Bossman gets a nice piledriver, but tags out instead of making a cover. Akeem boogies and hits a kneeling sledge that could break an egg. Bossman tries a piledriver on the ropes and gets backdropped. Big spinebuster to Hogan. Savage gets a hot tag and nails the neck snap on Akeem. Savage takes a flip bump for Slick's cane - nice! Savage gets chucked to the floor and then once again onto Liz, so I guess Savage called an audible to only do the Liz bump from the middle rope and not the top. Savage sees Hogan on Liz and he's just beyond offended. First with body language, then with words. Hogan is CHECKING FOR A HEARTBEAT after a single bump. Savage eats a beating from these giant dudes while his prick of a friend tends to his girlfriend. Hogan carries her to the EMTs, as opposed to coming to her. Hogan then carries the stretcher. Hogan kisses her hand and then pleads with the lord to save her life. ONE. BUMP. OH GOD PLEASE! OH GOD PLEASE! OH GOD PLEASE! ELIZABETH! Hogan is such a bad actor and his friend is being killed by half a ton of dudes!

Savage goes for a tag, but he can't get one since his partner's a prick. Liz awakens and is probably scared to death of this large orange being overhead. Hogan comes down and of course stands NEXT TO THE APRON and then finally gets on it. Why can't Hogan just run in for a save? He's got five seconds after all. Towers get an awkward double backbreaker. Savage makes a comeback on Bossman. SAVAGE TOSSES AKEEM OVER THE TOP! Hogan gets tagged in VIA SLAP TO THE FACE! Good for Randy - Savage ate a hell of an ass-kicking. All Hogan got was a slap! Savage leaves to check on Liz, which should be fine since that's what Hogan did. Akeem and Bossman do this goofy running double sandwich bit. Savage grabs the belt and leaves!

"I don't know what Randy's worried about - the medical area's bigger than the closets he locked Liz in!" - Ha! Hogan comes back on Akeem and gets the legdrop for the win. Bossman tries to cuff Hogan, but Hogan counters and cuffs Slick to Bossman. Liz is cracking up at Savage being all goofy backstage. YOU WERE LOOKING AT HER WITH LUST IN YER EYES! Liz's timid acting doesn't work here. BELT SHOT! GO RANDY! Randy then GRABS LIZ AND THROWS HER ON THE FLOOR. Wow. Savage attacks Beefcake.

Herc's out to face Ted DiBiase. Herc's in basic blue here, and this is the stupid slave angle. More with Hogan and Beefcake. Or not. Ted's in his goofy green and silver deal. Herc jumps in and eats a big atomic drop with a goofy sell. Virgil goes up for something and gets tossed off. Pat asks Jim to not mention Virgil or he'll start asking for $25. Pat says that in a shoot, Honky said that if were in blue, you were about done - poor Herc. Ted snapmares Herc to the floor - big bump for Herc there. Ted gets his fistdrop in and then a flying standing elbow. Pat says that if Ted needed to work a match now, he probably could. Pat talks about Ted talking to Vince about if he should get on the gas, and Vince told him there would be no point. They talk about Herc's passing and how he was apparently unrecognizable. Herc and his giant roid belly powerslam Ted and he fires up. Virgil pops the chain in the corner and the ref talks to him - but doesn't do anything with the GIANT METAL CHAIN. Ted gets bonked for 2. Torture rack. Virgil distracts and Ted wins via DISTRACTION SCHOOLBOY! Herc's a sore loser and attacks after the bell. Hulk gets an ice pack on his face after half an hour and is making weird groans. He's going through a transformation or something. Hulk storms off the gurney and leaves. Jesse, professional actor, talks with Vince about stuff and how Hogan abandoned his partner. Hogan searches for Randy. He's not behind a chair, a crate, or Jim Neidhart. He bullies Bret and Marty, and the camera guy. Well, this was fun.

Monday, December 22, 2014

WWE Raw 12-22-14

Tonight's show is going to be a struggle - not just due to the usual slog of Raw, but also due to me finally getting a solid sleep schedule going. I've been going to sleep at about 11 PM the last few nights, and it's been fantastic! Raw gets a Christmas set and we get Rusev in Piper's Pit, while Show faces Rusev. Bray-Ambrose happens again in a MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET FIGHT. Jesus Christ. Ho-ho-Hogan is out. KING'S SWEATER! Hogan ran down the card, then Cena ran down and sang "Let it Go" from Frozen. Recap of Brock attacking Cena. A giant WE WANT LESNAR chant broke out here in MN, when he of course isn't there. Cena says he lost fair and square, so boy did that match mean nothing. Seth comes out to exchange words, but he really puts himself over as the future who is better than both Cena and Hogan. Great bit with the Authority - "They are sitting home, they are depressed, because they are watching this show every week!" Ha! Seth-Cena starts the show.

Basic stuff to start, then the goons distract Cena so Seth kicks away. Blockbuster gets 2. Cena gets a dropkick, but Seth comes back and gets 2 off a kneedrop. Seth gets the post-break chinlock and then a suicide dive. Kneeling superkick gets 2. Skywalker countered into the protobomb. Pop-up enzuiguri gets 2 for Seth. Batista bomb gets 2. Seth gets tossed onto the goons. Flying legdrop gets 2 for Cena. Cena's corner punches lead to a sunset buckle bomb for 2. Seth goes for the stomp, but Cena gets the STF. Goons come in and eat a double AA. Seth tries to use the case, Cena gets the AA and wins. Case? Not a DQ. TWO MEN? NOT A DQ. Odd, but this was fine - can't really say I cared much about it though.

Kane went bah humbug. Fandango-Swagger. Wow. FANDANGO gets part of an intro, but Swagger doesn't. Yup - have these two fuckers follow THE TOP TWO REGULAR ACTS IN THE COMPANY. This can't fail. They do stuff and Fandango wins. Dolph-Harper for the IC Title later. A Generic Brunette Man met with his guest at this time Dolph Ziggler. New Day video...um, they're already here and losing. Rose is out and the Bunny still has the brace. Cole says it's due to Raw, then he's reminded about SD. Then he's reminded that SD was on Tuesday. Rose faces Truth. Truth gets a cradle for the win. Oh my God, these men traveled on a plane for this. Rose spinebusters and stomps the Bunny. We are literally right back where we started months ago with this. Crowd chants ONE MORE TIME for the Bunny attack. Piper's Pit is next.

Or not. It's Big Show, and it's snowing. Nope, match time. They set this up with a recap of as Cole says "Roman Reigns WAS ABOUT TO TALK!" So within about an hour or so, we're getting Seth-Cena and Show-Reigns - why keep watching? Press hot shot and shoulderblock gets 2 for Show. Boring chant breaks out. Superman punch on the floor sends Show over the table and we get a countout. Wow. Renee meets with her guest at this time, Dean Ambrose. Dean wants Bray for Christmas. He still has something. He's getting killed with this booking, but he can be saved simply due to being so great.

Bryan and Brie getting some sports couple award gets coverage. Brie's out with Nikki. What in the flying fuck is Brie's getup supposed to be? King talks about how things don't always work out when you've got a significant other in the same profession leading to Cole saying King knows about that. She's facing Nattie, gets the knee a couple of times, but only gets 2. JBL puts over Nattie being A STAMPEDE WOMEN'S CHAMPION! Nattie gets a cradle and a win. Tyson's new FACT shirt is so great. Nikki gets shoved off the apron and Cole talks about the shin injury which cost her A GOOD PART OF HER CAREER. Like 3 months. THE ASCENSION is doomed.
 Stardust cuts an angry promo on Rudolph. Matadores are out with the bull with reindeer antlers. It's 2 and 1/2 on 2. Cole and his CONSTANT reminders of the right words to use for the commentators can fuck off. He's particular about the bull's name, but it's okay to call him a midget bull in nearly 2015. Backstabbber and the bull pins Goldust. This is not the lowest point for him - he was once Black Reign in a barb wire Christmas tree match. Harper likes to take things away and he's gonna give himself a present - da IC Title and HE GONNA HURT YA BOY! Dolph's out and their match is next.

Harper jumps Dolph during the intros. Dolph gets slammed on the floor and the ref goes for a stoppage tease. Superkick hits followed by a powerbomb for 2 for Harper. Harper dominates for a break. Wheelbarrow facebuster into the table. Dolph gets a dropkick, but Harper avoids another and gets 2. Michinoku driver gets 2 for Harper. King is amazed by what that move is and how he's learned it - despite seeing him do it a ton. Flash cradle gets 2 for Dolph. Discus lariat is met with a superkick BUT HE STILL HITS THE LARIAT FOR 2! Fameasser gets 2. TWO SUPERKICKS lead to the Zig Zag and the win! This was damn good and well worth a rewatch later. King and his horrible sweater talk to Dolph after the match. Piper's pit is next.

Piper's out and wishes us a ROWDY ROWDY HOLIDAY TIME! LANE-A AND RUSOV are out. Lana talks about Christmas-time bullshit causing people to be phony and kids being ungrateful little shits too. Lana cues up Rusev-Ryback stuff from SD. Piper calls them COMMUNIST SCROOGES! Ryback came out with a bow on his chest. Okay then. Big guys brawl, Roddy holds Ryback's hand high. King and Cole put over how amazing USA is and how it's the number 1 network thanks to Raw and the other stuff too.

6-divas tag is up. Paige has some nice booty shorts, bah humbug on her jacket, and hohoho on her hat. Emma whips her hair at Summer and the crowd chants ROMAN SUCKS. Cameron gets a codebreaker and 2. King talks about Paige dressing like Xanta Klaus. Faces win. EVACUATE OR RIDE THE LIGHTNING! Ascension debuts on Raw next week. Mizes are out with Miz facing someone. Miz and his new feathered hair sing, but cut Mizdow off in the inset promo. It's Miz-Jey. Mizes do comedy for a bit. Jey gets 2 off a distraction schoolboy. Wacky Miz bumps. Miz misses a knee to the gut by a mile that is sold. Miz wins via O'Connor roll with the tights, and I guess he pulled too hard because they cut to black. Monday Night War Foley ep clip airs.

Bray comes out and sings. Gets whatted. Poor Bray What. Dean's out for a break. WWE'S ALL ABOUT PUTTING SMILES ON FACES! So here's another spousal abuse PSA. Bray's sent into the tree and gets a present smashed on him. More stuff with the tree. Can you believe these guys aren't getting over as main event acts? It's astonishing. Dean gets a monitor BUT HE UNPLUGS IT NOW! Suicide dive into the gifts. Ambrose gets tossed through a table on the ramp. MIDMATCH CHINLOCK from Bray. LONG one too. Bray gets the bodyblock. Crowd chants for ONE MORE TREE, so Bray tosses Dean into it. Singapore candy cane shots from Bray Wyatt...really now? They go to redo the pencil trick spot from the PPV here on the Christmas show. Big lariat hits for 2. Dean gets a flying chair elbow for 2. Bray gets a uranage on a corner ladder for 2. Bray uses the pencil trick stick to take out Dean and win. Wow, what a loser Dean is. He elbows him through the table to close the show.


Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/9tg1gypht2obqzg0d6qid3hg53dt4mld


Sunday, December 21, 2014

WCW Starrcade 1992

Well, the plan was to cover the 1990 Survivor Series with the Wayback Playback audio, but I only have parts 2 and 3 and my copy of part 1 is bad, and I can't find the audio for them even in the Pat McNeill section of the Torch VIP site. Starrcade '92's audio is fine and boy is the thumbnail weird - they cropped out tons of faces. I didn't get an ad before, but I got one now for Hulu Plus. How very odd. Pat puts this show over as being huge history-wise. We get a rundown of graphics from all the Starrcades minus a couple of them, which is still a massive bump in production from just a year ago. The graphics look far better, minus Pillman's name being over Barry and vice versa. We get a CG king of cable ring that looks quite good. Rude faces Simmons tonight and we get clips of Chono and Muta in NJPW in Mutoh gear for tonight. WCW was a mess at the time with multiple crews and a recent show at that time with Sting not there, Simmons not there, and Rude out hurt. WCW drew in Baltimore and Atlanta, where this event is. Jesse has a Malcolm X hat on due to the movie.

We throw to a WCW Magazine special report - Rick Rude, THE WORLD TITLE CHALLENGER, can't work the show and Dr. Death gets the shot. Bill Watts has the book here, shockingly. They go to the locker rooms with some shitty plastic orange chairs, ala any lunch room. BILL WATTS IS IN THE RING WITH HANK AARON. Holy shit. Sting's out with a mix of black and blonde in his hair. It's silly, but not too bad here. Pat running through Watts's Torch talk while censoring it is hilarious. Larry is with Missy's tits. The lighting is so great now - there's a giant light rig over the ring. Van Hammer is out with a white denim jacket, mirrored trim, and silver leather pants.  Dan Spivey looks 50 and is in just in trunks, which isn't complimentary for him. Yup - there's a reason Spivey wore a shirt in the WWF after this run. Cactus Jack is out teaming with Johnny B. Badd. Cactus is downright slim here. Hammer's corner shots to Cactus are a sight to behold. CACTUS IS POKING HIS CHEST - HA! Big leg hits from Hammer - he had a good legdrop. Badd's in with red and gold gear and eats an elbow for 2. Nice pair of smooth armdrags from Johnny here - far better than the rana that has him brain himself. Big hiptoss from Cactus to Hammer. Spivey comes in and lariats Jack down. Nice nip up from Hammer out of a headscissors from Jack. Bossman slam from Spivey hits Badd nicely. He took a flat belly bump for it years before Abyss did. Bearhug. Hammer gets a back suplex for 2. Jack gets 2 off an elbow. Cactus gets a clothesline. This is just moves here. Badd tries to break up a cover and elbows Jack. Badd punches him, Hammer schoolboys Jack and wins. Dan has absolutely no definition in his upper body - it's amazing.

Dustin draws Vader as a partner. Kensuke Sasaki is chosen, but he's not in the locker room. The Barbarian teams with him. Oh boy. Sasaki's in the black and yellow gear he always has in Fire Pro. Barbarian's in his Powers of Pain getup here and still ripped. Basic lockups here. Vader slams Barb down. Big bodyblock from Vader sets up the corner shots. Barb takes him down with lariats. Hart Attack from Vader and Dustin - nice. Barb back suplexes him for 2. Sasaki comes in to work with Dustin. Dropkick to the gut as Sasaki came down off the top. Vader gets the bodyblock to Sasaki off the top. Sasaki dropkicks Vader and gets a snap suplex! Dustin kneelifts and dropkicks Barb. Barb knocks into Sasaki and Dustin gets a schoolboy win - so 2 schoolboy wins in 2 matches here. Vader and Race attack Dustin. Super Brawl III - THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR! So why buy another show then?

Back to the bingo deal. Barry teams with Muta against Scorpio and Pillman. Barry's kinda fat here. Brian has a denim shirt with patches all over it. Muta's in blue. So many guys working twice here. Barry bullies Scorpio down with a double wristlock suplex. Barry even past his prime, is so smooth. Muta spins for some kicks with Scorp. Muta's red paint clashes here. Rollthrough into a cartwheel and then a dropkick from Muta to Pillman. Great sequence. Pillman and Barry work and they do a fun headscissors sequence where Barry kicks his way out. Chest slaps and chops here. More with Muta and Pillman leading to Muta getting a big spinkick. Scorpio's back in with Muta. Big splash is countered by Muta with some knees. Barry comes in after a combat roll from Muta and cold-cocks Scorp. Muta's back with the POWER DRIVE ELBOW! Scorp gets a pop-up spinning legdrop that starts as the Vader bomb and then does the spin into the legdrop. Barry gets the impaler DDT. Muta moonsault gets an iffy 3 with Scorp getting a shoulder up and Pillman coming in, and the moonsault missing largely too.

Sting's partner will be Dr. Death and they'll face Erik Watts and Liger. Boy is one of these things ever not like the others.Liger has his red, white, and black gear here - which he's still wearing almost literally to the day I write this as this gear just got torn up on an NJPW World show. Watts has the biggest trunks on ever even in a match with Dr. Death. LIGER-STING and they're all over the place here. This is really fun to watch. Doc's working with Liger, so it's kind of like AJPW vs. NJPW. Weird to see a junior in there with a definite heavyweight, but it works. Watts is in with Doc - I think Erik's trunks might be on loan from Doc. Watts has Spivey's physique. Watts gets a crossbody and 2. Doc chops him. Liger blind tags in and Watts leaves awkwardly. Liger chops Doc, but eats a clothesline. Sting gets the bodylock backbreaker and runs him into the buckle. Sting eats a sunset flip for 2. Doc chops the fuck out of Liger and then chucks him into the ropes. Sting clotheslines Liger down for 2. Sting misses the Stinger Splash in the corner. Doc comes in and drills Liger. Kneeling armbar from Doc to Liger. Sting's back in and gets a half-crab on Liger. Doc chokes Liger on the ropes and gets some forearms and a backdrop driver that gets 2 from Sting, oddly. Sting gets a delayed suplex for 2. Liger gets a face jam! Watts OVERPOWERS DOC! DROPKICK FROM WATTS! Watts gets the STF, but thankfully Doc's in the ropes. Watts goes in for a crossbody and eats a hotshot for the win. Pat talks about the gas station angle with Watts causing a controversy at the time. Chono vs. Muta is up next, but first, we hear from Larry and Tony about some stuff - not really sure what as I've got the audio on 10% so I can hear the Torch stuff.

We get some extended clips of Chono-Mutoh, and it's pristine footage too. Pat impersonating Lumbergh talking as Watts asking the NJPW guys to tone it down a few shades amused me. Very basic matwork. Chono's in his white and purple getup - I never liked this design for him as it's too plain, like Sasaki's gear. They briefly go to the floor and are now mid-ring with a knuckle lock. After a century, we get to a basic armbar from Chono. Basic legwork. There's nothing really bad here, but it's meandering. Armdrag exchange. Chono goes up, gets caught and eats a superplex. Crowd pops for that, so clearly doing very little paid off here because it stood out. Muta Lock is in deep. Muta eats a snap suplex. Muta gets the spin kick. Jesse talks about Chono going to the floor being like a QB going out of bounds to avoid more damage. Handspring elbow! Double down after each goes for a dropkick. Snap back suplex from Chono. Dropkick misses and Chono gets the STF. Unlike Cena, or Erik Watts, it's on super-tight and Chono wins. There would be a rematch at the Tokyo Dome for the 1/4 show. I like Chono kind of kneeling on the STF - it looks so much more damaging that way.
Jesse and Ross talk about Rude, who could also lose his U.S. Title. Rude is out in the most '90s denim jacket ever. It's acid-washed and wow. Rude's really intense, and it's clear that if this Rick Rude was around in the WWF, he'd have been a legit main eventer - but he really was just perfect for this setting. WCW World Title match is up here MID-WAY THROUGH PART 2 of 3. Wow. Literally, it's a mid-card title. Doc's out first in his white and red robe. Doc's logo is awesome. Ron's out in yellow, black, and white which doesn't look good. Doc and Ron shake hands. Ron's gear has PRIDE on the side in giant Miami Vice logo text. Grinding side headlock on Ron. Tackle exchange. Duel three point stances lead to Pat and Jim talking about Doc being the last UWF Champ for Watts and and the only one for Abrams. Boy, imagine those coke parties. Arm wringer from Ron to Doc. Ron lets it go and then turns it into headbutts to the arm. They face off mid-ring and exchange punches. Ron's got fantastic intensity in his shots. Ron gets the face jam for 2. More arm work. Hammerlock slam. Doc avoids a flying shoulderblock off the top and hits some stomps. Doc attacks the knee on the apron. Dropkick to the gut from Doc leads to a half-crab that never quite looks right. Standing partial crab leads to Ron punching out of it. Doc gets a side leglock, which I never remember him doing. Doc stomps the knee and now he kicks it.

Doc does the hop up on the rope bit. Doc hops around and it leads to Ron hitting some jabs again. Eye rake stops that followed by a lariat and a weird cover for 2. Doc gets a half crab/bow and arrow thing. Front knee clip from Doc leads to another and a third leads to him eating a lariat. TOSS THAT MOTHERFUCKER THROUGH THE EARTH SPINEBUSTER hits! Three point stance tackles into the knees now! Third was one too many for him too as Doc ducks and sends him to the floor. Double countout here with them brawling on the floor. Or maybe it's just Ron, since Doc's halfway in. Doc eats the post on a powerslam attempt. Doc jumps him with a lariat and a calf branding and Doc gets a visual pin. So Doc looked great here.  Ron wins via DQ due to an ass-whipping after the match - WHAT A CHAMPION!

They hyped up SUPER BRAWL SUNDAY, more with Tony and Larry. We get a recap of Barry taking out the NWA and WCW Tag Team Champions Shane and Ricky. Windham and Brian are out. Barry's jacket looks like it's off-the-rack, ditto Pillman's, just with more patches. Shane and his shiny fringed jacket are something else. Steamboat's got his pussy-whipped theme here. He's a family man, who does the best he can. He helps little old ladies across the street, delivers papers to neighbors, and so on. Steamboat and Shane do forearm bumps...wow do they just have no chemistry. Basic wrestling exchanges from Shane and Brian. Big chops and punches in the corner from Brian. Crucifix into a sunset flip from Pillman doesn't work. Chop fires up Shane a bit, so Pillman goes for the eyes. Shane dropkicks Pillman to the floor. Double dropkick to Barry following with a double backdrop. Shane is ripped here, and not all bloated like he was in ECW. He was either bloated due to roids or fat, or both at times. Great Steamboat-Barry stuff even with Barry going through the motions. Shane's in and wow do things die down a bit.

Barry counters a headlock with a back suplex. Shane threw a great punch. Steamboat's back for a neck snap. Barry bumps over the top for a clothesline. Shane slams Barry on the ramp. Steamboat chucks Barry back in and swinging neckbreaks him. Shane gets a chinlock on Barry after a tag. Brian comes in and kicks at Shane. Chokes him too. Chops in the corner from Brian. Punches and a dropkick send Brian into the barricade. Barry slaps his chest on the mat to revive him - nice bit there. Shane goes up top and eats a dropkick sending him right to the floor - fantastic bump there, and right on the concrete. Damn. Building looks so cheap with a variety of colors on the tile. Shane's got bits of debris on his back. Barry punches Shane square in the jaw.

Brian gets some cheap shots on the floor to Shane. Barry boomerangs him into the bottom rope. Shane bumps on the floor and barricade, ouch. Steamboat runs wild with a chair and now Barry's gear is covered in stuff too. Pillman gets a back suplex and 2. Love Brian doing it again, but holding the tights and hoping it changes his fortune. Barry punches him off the top and hits a slick back suplex for 2. Shane takes a fantastic bump for a forearm shiver where he sits into the bottom rope and then lies on the ropes and ramp. Slick suplex from Pillman gets 2. Pillman and Barry do a double choke while the ref is distracted by Ricky. Barry goes for a suplex and it gets reversed, setting up a hot tag spot and Shane punches and falls into a tag. Steamboat runs wild with slams. Barry hits a powerslam. Pillman tosses Steamboat over the top behind the ref's back and Barry posts him. Steamboat shoulders Pillman in the gut and then climbs up for a springboard chop for 2! Great chop exchange. Pillman gets 2 off something. Barry's in as a bully. Steamboat's selling is fantastic. Barry goes for a diving chop and Ricky avoids it and superkicks him. Brian's in and Ricky falls into a tag. Shane slams the heels. Ricky and Barry go over  to the ramp and Shane hits the belly to belly for the win. The belly to belly does with the snap and the belly-bump landing actually works well, and it was better than Shane using it in ECW where it was just bizarre and he mainly did it overhead. King of Cable hype for Sting-Vader, so it will be their second of three matches along with Barry. THREE MATCHES in one night - what a depleted roster.

The King of Cable purple and gold logo is fantastic. WCW's graphics are better here than they ever were before and rarely as good as this after. Vader has a giant bandana on. Vader's parading around with the trophy before the match, so he's probably not winning. Pat talks about how Vader was really stiff, but he lightened up for Sting and was told he didn't need to kill him because he'd make him look good - so he changed things up a bit and had his eyes opened by it. Sting's got "Turbo Charged" here. I like Sting wearing the worn-down paint here. Sting starts off with a fantastic jab and cross combo. Vader slams him down. Bodyblock to Sting takes him down. Vader gets him in a gorilla press and just chucks his throat into the ropes and does it again. I love these two - their chemistry is perfect. Sting's on the floor and man does the floor look cheap - it's all uneven and dirty-looking. Sting gets a running coppo kick and a dropkick! GERMAN SUPLEX FROM STING TO VADER! Clothesline sets up a Cactus-style clothesline from Sting sending them both to the floor. Plancha to both Race and Vader, who comes up COVERED IN SHIT BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF MATS. Race has to dust himself off too. Vader hits his murderous corner shots. Sting fights back and goes for the Stinger splash, but eats a boot. Sting boots him and gets a DDT and then a super DDT for 2! Sting gets the death lock and Vader gets the ropes. Vader goes to the floor and Sting misses a stinger splash on the barricade.

Sting nearly gets counted out. Man did Race fit Vader so well as a manager. He looked tough, was tough, and he fit in with Vader. Big bodyblock in the corner to Sting. Vader rears back for a punch and Sting gets more distance. Vader gets 2 off a splash and pulls him too far causing that count. Kneeling chinlock turns into a grounded abdominal stretch. Vader then turns into a kneeling lariat, and a stiff one, for 2. Shortarm lariat is ducked and leads to a backslide for 2. Sting goes for sunset flip and Vader misses the butt drop. Sting back suplexes Vader, but Vader covers for 2. Vader clubs him in the corner. A lot. Sting bounces around the ring and bumps to the other side of the ring - nice touch. They fight on top and Sting punches him off a superplex attempt. Vader gets up first again. More corner shots. Sting's begging for more shots, but he's covering up to wear him out. He's tired, so Sting attacks with punches. HE FINALLY TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A SHOT and the crowd pops. Iffy Samoan drop from Sting works for me since it sells how big Vader is. Superfly dive hits, but he doesn't hook a leg and Sting gets 2. Sting goes after Race and eats a shot. Big chokeslam from Vader. Vader gets a big splash off the second rope, but he flies and can't cover. Vader flies off the top, but eats a mid-air powerslam and loses! This was fantastic and has held up very well - this is the only match from the show I've seen before, and it's amazing. It really should've closed the show - instead, we get the Battlebowl. Replay shows that Vader's right shoulder is up through the whole thing. Jesse puts this over as a hell of a match. They do a crowd shot and put a spotlight RIGHT ON A SECTION WITH NO PEOPLE and then pan down from there to Tony and Larry. Oh wow.

They're going to talk to someone about the making of the Battlebowl ring. Tony meets with Paul Hornung about the importance of a ring, so they compare it to the Super Bowl ring. Paul talks about this almost like the streak, where it got bigger and bigger with each year almost by accident. Guys come down to kill some time. Paul did a great job actually putting wrestling over without really doing anything to call it a sport. Sting and Vader brawl on the ramp. Pat talks about how Sting has been in three matches here on this show, which is more than he might have in WWE. Well, I'd have him do 'Mania, and then if he's okay and healthy, do one at each "big" show, with one at Summerslam, one at Rumble, and then another at Mania. Guys doing...stuff... Muta kicks Barry's ass. Pat buries the Rumble mode in games - well, he's not wrong. Sting goes for a sleeper on Vader. Hammer's out. Doc back suplexes Vader. Somone was knocked to the ramp and that's an elimination. Sting and Vader fight to the floor too. These guys are morons. Barry, Dustin, Muta, and Doc are the final 4. Muta gets a spinkick to Doc. Muta and Doc are doing stuff in the corner. Barry goes up top and Dustin slams him down mid-ring. Dustin DDT's him down. Doc lariats Barry and himself out. More idiots! Barry's nose is busted up. Barry gets a floatover suplex and punches him. Barry superplexes Muta leading to a nice standing dropkick. Muta skins the cat and dropkicks him down before dropkicking Barry out. Pyro goes off and apparently scares Muta. A fan in the back behind the commentators hold up wacky smartass signs. The graphics break up badly during the credits.

WCW Halloween Havoc 1991 Part 2 and 3


Part 2 begins with Garvin and Hayes coming out in zebra print gear. We're getting Garvin-Badd here, and Garvin's got grey in the stache already. According to Pat McNeill, Dusty hired Mero as a jobber and took him off to repackage him. Garvin gets a nice running forearm smash. Teddy is dressed in an early '90s-ish getup, but not too bad - it's just a bit purple-heavy. Badd's gear has a set of lips on the ass and a pseudo thong in the back with fringe - so it's among the more subdued outfits. One of the great subtle bits with Badd here is that they gave him credibility at all times referencing him as a golden gloves boxer. Normally, you'd just make this guy a fruitcake with no credibility, but like with Adrian Street, having an air of toughness really helps.

Birds are faces here, but the injured Hayes clocks Badd. Super sunset flip "hits", but Garvin's way too far out. Badd kind of grabs him, but Garvin trips on him - this is Garvin's fault. Double axe off the top is met with a Garvin shot to the gut. Garvin's double chins really hurt this deal too. Badd's mouth is busted up somehow. Garvin misses a sloppy elbow. Leapfrog leads to a double head bonk - I could see that getting over again now, because you don't see it anymore. Garvin gets the DDT, but Teddy distracts the ref. Badd gets the left and that's it. Hayes takes off the sling, so he's fine or something, but he can't wrestle Hammer later...I'm honestly fine with that.

Missy Hyatt's cleavage is backstage as a showgirl. Eaton has a pumpkin, okay then. Stunning Steve's out with his wife at the time, Lady Blossom and her notable cleavage. Steve's black and red robe looks good. Really, every part of his gear and presentation worked early on except for the wacky super-'90s gear with random neon and bright shit on them.  According to Pat, Austin shaved his head to be more like Bruce Willis - it worked. They do some random matwork before going into some fast action and Dustin nails a perfect snap lariat. Dustin's grandmother is on-screen for a bit in a red sweater. Austin is so smooth with his dropdowns and then he does this sweet kick to the gut while spinning around to keep on him. Hiptoss leads to an Austin elbow missing. Back suplex gets 2 for Steve. They zoom in on Lady Blossom's cleavage, and she eats it up. Crowd is half-papered and bored. They fight on the floor and Dustin blades. Double axe off the top to the floor from Austin. Gutwrench gets 2 for Austin. Really nice overhead shot looks cool. Hilarious bit of them zooming in on Jeanie's face and then going right to her tits.
 


Sweet flying lariat from Austin gets a flip bump. They announce 4 minutes remain and the stream just dies. At least on X1, it can restart right away with the recently viewed section. Small package gets 2. Dustin dropkick misses and Austin gets 2. Crazy to think that Austin's only a couple of years in the business here - he's so good. Jeanie just slaps the shit out of Dustin. Austin does the rope hop spot and just decided to crotch himself because Dustin moved too early. 2 minutes left and they brawl on the floor here in a TITLE MATCH. Double juice here for a TV Title match with no heat. Bionic elbow hits for 2. Love the ref hopping on the ropes to count along with the punches. Diving lariat hits, but the time limit expires.

 Starrcade is hyped and then Oz comes out and crashes the stream. He gets no real intro here and is facing Bill Kazmaier, carrying a giant inflatable globe. Oh my God. Bill's hair is running from both the front and back of his head, leaving him with a bizarre mullet. Shitty lockup leads to a shitty side headlock. Kaz gets a slam. Oz of course wants a test of strength with THE STRONGEST MAN ON EARTH! Oz kicks him in the gut. Kaz fires up. Oz's black gear with neon green star and lightning bolt is amazing - it can almost be perfectly made in FPR in theory. Hiptoss to Oz. Oz gets back clubs.  Kaz takes a nice bump off a back suplex. Oz skins the cat and gets a rack for a win.
 


Van Hammer will wrestle for HIS HAMMERHEADS later. Hammer's got GUYS WITH JACKHAMMERS for his intro. Great bit with Pat saying that when he and his friends went to WCW shows, they'd sing MC Hammer at him. Doug Somers is his opponent and he's got a bit of a gut and is whiter than fish meat. Great guy to put in there with Hammer since Hammer looks even better with him in the ring. Big legdrop from Hammer sets up HAMMER HYSTERIA - ha! and leads to a slingshot suplex that is just awful. It was almost a snap brainbuster there. Somers kicks out at 2.5 here and it's just over. Pillman's feathered mullet is backstage talking about the LHW belt. Richard Morton and his partially-dyed mullet are backstage with the brunette Alexandra York.

They show a fan with a Flair shirt in the front row. Nick Patrick has the refer-eye. Morton's business gear has fewer wraps around the legs. I love the LHW belt design - it was fleshed out a bit more as the final WCW TV title, but I like the red look to it more. Refer-eye misses the action. Morton goes to the floor and oh, his gear has back pockets - goodie. The "computer" is seemingly turned off. Spinkick from Pillman. Pillman does a fakeout, asks for silence, gets it and gets a double sledge - nice. Pat talks about in SC, an arena being built simply to hopefully house WCW events. Wow. Fewer than 100 fans showed up for it in 1993 for an Austin-Flair match. Fantastic shot of Nick's arm from the refer-eye camera, then one of the mat. Morton gets a back elbow. Side headlock takedown leads to fans folding their arms and yawning. Inverted atomic from Morton hits nicely. Morton as a dominant heel is fine, but he's weird as one of the best faces ever.

Pillman gets backhands and back elbows. O'Connor roll gets 2 for Brian. Morton clotheslines him for 2. Armbar to Pillman. LONG armbar here that does nothing of note. A guy in a neon pink hat with neon pink trim on his shirt is folding his hands kindly. Morton moves to an overhand wristlock and Pillman fights back. Pillman clotheslines Morton down. This is the slowest-paced LHW title match ever. Grounded choke leads to an enzuiguri. Pat compares the camera to Homer's giant hat cam - yes! They bounce to the floor and Pillman gets posted. Pillman goes up top and gets a flying crossbody for the win and the title. We get a slow-mo of the action shot and one of the ref counting.
 

Part 3 starts off with Ross and Tony and Pat saying "this is one of the best PPVs in October of '91." Zenk's out to face THE PHANTOM! Phantom's got a half-white and half-black mask and is covering his face with a cape as well and a giant Taker hat. Phantom has a bushy stache and punches just like Rick Rude. Running knee hits just like Rick Rude. Gutbuster is new. Elbow to the back of the head just like Rude. Rude Awakening hits. Tony says that there a few signature moves, but one is the Rude Awakening and BOY CAN HE EXECUTE IT! Another Starrcade plug.

WCW World Tag Team Title match is up next. OH MY GOD, IT'S THE SPECIAL FORCES and they're US Tag Champs. NWA belts are used for Larry and Arn, with dark blue leather. Chip has tiny blue trunks, yellow and red knee pads, and red and yellow boots. Chip gets put in an abdominal stretch, but counters it into one. Backslide gets 2 for Chip. Arn comes in, claps for himself and seemingly says YUP, I GOT THIS with his finger in the air. Arm wrenching double sledge hits for the faces. Arn stomps him down.  Knee to the jaw from Arn. Outside-in launcher from Arn takes Todd in, but he counters it again to send him to the floor and then Arn eats a backdrop out of a piledriver on the floor. Pat talks about firebreaking actually being a term and not just being WCW screwing up firefighter. Pat talks about Larry being famous for a feud with Bruno, which he mentioned a time or two in his career. Nice boot rake sets up a knee drop. Larry tags in for a slam. They attack the chest of Todd - bad idea. Todd fires back with awful punches. Larry jumps him with a double sledge. Larry gets up from a slam with a cool pop-up squat. Chip comes in with dropkicks and an awkward lift up into a slam. Chip bonks into Larry, eats a spinebuster, and wins. Larry takes the safest bump ever for the ramp fall by hooking the ropes and lands on his knees. Arn gets up top and lets everyone know they're better than the faces - well, he's not wrong.

Bischoff the vampire is here with a gigantic silver mic pack on his belt. Heyman and Madusa are here. Boy did he age a ton from the late '80s to here. Madusa was apparently married to Greg Valentine here and Heyman cuts a promo declaring war on WCW, Sting, and the committee in charge. He brings out THE PHANTOM as the man to take Sting out, which crashes the stream. Rude is unveiled and promised to be the NEXT UNITED STATES CHAMPION because of course, that title mattered. Pat talks about a friend of his having Rude play with him due to him being a family friend. Rude cuts a fine promo, and this is about the peak of his overall career. He's a legit main eventer and portrayed as a killer. Ron Simmons video crashes...really now? This is a nightmare on the Xbox One and there's no good reason for it. Time to fire up the PS4 and finish this event off.

JR and Tony hype up the Dangerously stable. Ron Simmons video package puts over him being a football icon. Ron is in his jersey and some super-short shorts. Ron does a ton of football drills to prep for this wrestling match. Ron is not champion here, and Pat goes over how Bearcat Wright and Bobo Brazil holding recognized world titles before Ron. Ron's music is generic, but not DON'T STEP TO RON just yet. Dusty is out in tie dye to counteract Race for Luger. Luger's got his badass theme that is one of the best ever, and some giant silver paper LUGER letters. Luger has Race and Mr. Hughes with him. Hughes is dressed EXACTLY like Big Bubba Rogers, who Dusty also made as a character. They were apparently going to fire Harley in WCW, but Luger stood up for him and ensured he had a job - good for Lex. This is a 2/3 falls match for reasons we aren't told.

Luger's got shiny blue gear and Ron's in red and orange for Florida state with a lightning bolt in orange. Ross talks about these men having wars in football. Pat talks about this being the feud where Race was implied to say a very bad word but actually said "boy" and they muted it. Luger wasn't anywhere near the exchange at the time because he didn't want to be a part of it. Long tieup. Ron goes up high for a dropkick and Lex holds onto the ropes. Nice running elbow to the neck from Lex. Lex ducks for a backdrop, but eats a face plant. Ron gets the powerslam. Spinebuster hits for a fall. This was more like a falling Batista one and not the usual Ron CHUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER THROUGH THE MAT version. Race and Dusty give advice in the corner like it's real. Dusty's forehead in closeup with all those gig scars are nasty in '91 and in SD.

Luger's selling the back and Ross puts over that he couldn't even get to his feet during the break. Luger is coated in either sweat or oil. Lex goes for a suplex, but can't get it, so Ron snap suplexes him for 2. Lex gets an eye poke, but eats a funky bulldog for 2.  Ron gets 2 off a small package. This is really just a bunch of moves match - even with the back being a key. Ron gets an outside-in sunset flip for 2. Lex sends Ron to the floor. Boot rake from Lex leads to a face rake on the ropes. Lex gets a horrid elbow for 2. Ross puts over that Ron won the first quarter. Lex gets a suplex for 2. They're in first gear, and that's being liberal. Lex gets a kneeling sleeper with the ropes. Lex transitions it into something that would be a chinlock if Lex's arms were near the chin and uses the ropes, kind of. They put over Race sweating bullets out there and Pat talks about him working house shows if his charges weren't there. Ron gets 2.5 off a backslide. Ron gets a shoulderblock and doesn't follow up. Dusty attacks Race. Harley holds Ron while Ron kind of backdrops Lex, so Lex gets a fall via DQ. Wow did that suck. "Ron is very disappointed with the booking of this match, as you can tell!" - greatness from Pat.

Pat talks about Ron's ass being normal-sized and not giant like it was in WWE. Okay. Ron gets pissed at Lex and attacks in the corner. Luger has a hardway cut near his eye resulting in a trickle. TV Title match had double juice. World title gets some minor blood. Ron gets him up for...an inverted atomic. Why not just spinebuster him? Ron gets a superplex for 2. Ron gets a loose powerslam and goes up for the second rope shoulderblock, but Lex goes to the floor. Ron gets poked in the eye and goes for the 3 point stance and eats the post. Lex gets the worst piledriver in history for the win. They slow-mo the piledriver and it looks even worse - although at least Ron's head hits the knee. Pat and Jim talk about the Lawler-WCW rumors and go over how Paul Heyman was suspended for Eddie Gilbert leaking that, and then having his expense accounts examined and that being the official reason for the suspension. Love WCW having credits.

This really wasn't a great show, but it was an interesting time capsule. Next up is the '90 Survivor Series.