Wednesday, October 28, 2015

WWE NXT 10-28-15

 Before NXT, they show an ad for Table For 3 and KOFI DESTROYING ORTON'S CAR. Mechanics face Jersey dudes for a tag title shot, and the main event features Joe against Breeze. God, I can't wait to get Joe in 2K16. Emma's ass came down to ringside for a match against Shazza. We get an Aussie, Aussie, Aussie/OY OY OY chant! EMMA LOCK CURBSTOMP and the Emma Lock win this. James Storm recap video leads to his post-match promo - Serg's theme was really perfect for him because he just recites it here. Ciampa and Gargano face Cable and Jordan next!
FINN BALOR IS AMAZING video package. I need to play as him in 2K16 ASAP. God, it's scary how much Jordan resembles early Angle here. Really fun matwork to start from the Shoot Nation leads to Gargano getting an edge before an ad break. God, this is such a fast-paced match - it's like slower Bucks match, but non-stop stuff in some ways. Double team back/German suplex combo wins it for the Shoot Nation! Nia Jax kills Kay Lee Ray with a big spinebuster and legdrop. Mechanics jump Team Sawft during their goofy intro! SMART HEELS! They take Cass's knee out.

Alexa says that she went to Regal and got him to agree to a match with her and "her boys" against Bayley and "two losers". So fun. Joe vs. Breeze is next. BUT FIRST, Apollo Crews recap video.

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Monday, October 26, 2015

WWE Raw 10-26-15

Just what I wanted after a 10 hour workday - an HHH opening promo! Steph talked about how historic HIAC was, and HHH puts over Alberto. THAT WAS THE SHOW MEANT TO PUT OVER THE NEXT GENERATION OF WWE!? OH MY GOD THEY ARE DOOMED! Steph calls Seth the man known simply as the man - I thought that was Jessie Godderz? Steph "puts Seth over" by saying he's following HHH's lead. Because SETH HAS WON TOO MANY MATCHES, so the winners of last night's show will have matches tonight to have a fatal four way to face Seth. Roman comes out to chat. He's against Seth and wrestles next.

New Day sans Xavier really aren't all that over. Wow. Kofi's facing him while we get a bit of a New-Day-Rocks chant. Roman runs wild for a bit and sends Kofi to the floor with a swinging neckbreaker. A Big E distraction leads to a nice baseball slide kick to the floor. Big Doggy Cool getting ready for the jackknife! Kofi counters it, but Roman gets the schoolboy>powerbomb for 2. Lord Biggeth Dog wins with the spear.

Miz is backstage with geeks to shill the video game. Alberto beating Cena gets recapped, and he'll face Neville later. E faces Dolph too, while Owens faces Cesaro next. Tons of Cesaro Section signs, and he's out there so pumped up. YES! It's the bi-monthly "God, I'M SO HYPED" excitement for Cesaro maybe getting a mid-card push. Tons of cradles get 2 for Cesaro. Kevin SCREAMING as he goes up for a suplex rules. Double down off a double suplex on the floor leads to a countout tease - but they come in and we get a break. Super-fun match so far. UPPERCUT EXPRESS! CESARO HITS HIM WHILE HOLDING A SIGN! VINTAGE RVD bump from Cesaro off a DDT. Tornado uppercut hits! Owens cheapshots him with a superkick and gets the powerbomb and the win!

Paige is on the couch on the phone, and then CB comes in and they're offended. Paige takes credit for the revolution again, and they're back to being enemies. So is the angle now that Paige's head is too big, or that her friends are just sarcastic assholes? Or both? Not much to the match. Horrendous botched neckbreaker by Charlotte. Nikki hits the forearm after Becky lynches up and beats her with the rack attack. Paige is a huge babyface here, as she turns on her friends...who were kinda dicks to her. Brock beats Taker in the game.

They run some goofy graphic from Forbes where WrestleMania is the fifth most popular sports brand in the world. Renee interviews Alberto and Zeb. Zeb is now a big fan of John Lennon and wants Mexico and America to be one nation. Zeb has formed MexAmerica and THAT'S IT. ZEB WILL ANSWER NO MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE LOGIC GAPS IN THIS! And Alberto's a heel now because he hates immigrants like Neville. So if you're wondering how long it would take them to kill every last bit of heat Alberto could have, it took a day. They can't get over seeing the Mexican and American flags together? Goddamn - just wait until 2025 when they finally see a Tito Ortiz walkout.

We get some boring armbars and flippy dos for a break. Rana gets 2 for Neville. Neville counters the armbar with a wacky cradle for 2 and then eats a nasty lariat. Alberto gets the tree of woe double stomp for the win! So Alberto now has the armbar, the kneeling superkick, AND the Warrior's Way as finishers! Nothing match, sadly. Dudleys and Ryback face King Barrett, Sheamus, and Rusev next.

I wouldn't mind King Bully of Dudleyville next year. After whatever, Bubba loses to King Barrett via distraction schoolboy. Bray rambles on for a bit. YES! JUST WHAT A FEUD NEEDED FOR SOME NEW LIFE - KANE! Kane vs. Strowman? Get those snowflakes ready. Wyatts destroy him and carry him out. Dolph's out to face Big E, and we get THE OFFICIAL RAW DEBUT OF TYLER! He's got his own velvet rope section next to the commentary team. Dolph takes an awesome flying bump into the post off a slingshot. Giant flapjack gives E an edge, but the Zig Zag wins.

WWE hates breast cancer, and they love black people because Titus is mid-ring cutting a promo about RISING ABOVE CANCER. And for only $30 per shirt, you can give A PERCENTAGE of that money to Komen - of which, a percentage will actually go to research. Titus can't keep all of his WWE Buzzwords straight here. While Titus is busy getting over here, Steph of course has to do the RISE ABOVE CANCER in her shrill voice and destroy this.

Miz beat Steve Austin in the game, and then we get STEVE AUSTIN LIVE ON THE SHOW WITH NO HYPE. Seth's out to do commentary. Goobers come out, AND THEN THE BIG DOG. Seth compares himself to JBL. JBL, like Seth, can relate to being a chickensheet heel World Champion who has nothing secondary title reigns. Cole gets in a "fast and furious" reference ala Josh on Impact. Heels dominate faces back and forth here. BIGDOGGABOMB gets 2. Dolph gets an awful fameasser for 2. Doomdog Device! Owens runs wild with the cannonball on Dolph, and then he does it to Alberto - who also eats a drive by. Owens and Reigns is fresh and could be a fine main event on a B-level PPV. SUPERMAN PUNCH OUT OF THE POWEROMB. SPEAR WINS! This ruled!

Goddamn - his timing off the pop-up powerbomb into the punch was perfect. Shame this wasn't right before WM - because if this was the WM main event, they'd have built him up with a lot of momentum. Some of it feels organic too. A big staredown and "Roman" chant close the show - such a shame they have to get things right for such a long time for this to work.

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Sunday, October 25, 2015

Breaking Ground Episode 1 - Onward and Upward

HHH is in a darkened NXT ring and says that it takes a lot to be in WWE. "It" is the key to making it to WWE. William Shatner is our narrator and says no one is guaranteed a thing while loud rock music plays the intro. Bayley talks about being inspired by Lita and Trish and seeing if they could do it, she could too. Josh, the Tough Enough 2015 winner, enters the performance center. He meets briefly with Matt Bloom and asks the date - 9-9-15.

We see a quick recap of some of WrestleMania's biggest events sans Ronda Rousey, but with The Rock. Matt Bloom runs the crew through some drills with Adam Pearce and Norman Smiley looking on. Tino "Sabby" Sabbatelli is an ex-NFL player who is viewing NXT as his second chance at stardom. "Sabby" is here seemingly to be the guy who shows how even past sports success doesn't guarantee anything in WWE. He's sidelined with a concussion, and will be taking a concussion test in a few days.

Baron Corbin rides his motorcycle and is put over as an NFL player who was too aggressive and also succeeded at golden gloves boxing. We see a clip of him landing a nice forearm smash to Samoa Joe and then tree slams him. Sara Amato is shown with the female roster and she says that training has always been her real passion in wrestling.

Nooph is 19 and has been struggling to succeed so far. She's been training since she was 16, and lied to her parents about training. Matt is concerned about how much she's struggling to just get up for a hiptoss, and she finally does and lands awkwardly. Devin Taylor is shown and while she's mainly been an announcer, she wants to be a wrestler too.

She wants to be more than an announcer, but is struggling to learn what's needed. Sara says that she's been hurt a lot with injuries. Sara tells her the transition from out of ring to in-ring is going to be really hard. Baron works out in the performance center while Matt Bloom tells him to work on his abs, and Corbin gets offended. Baron says he doesn't put up with shit, and he's asked why he's got a mark on his face - it's mat burn from trying a standing moonsault.

Apollo Crews talks about his parents starting from nothing. We see clips of him from EVOLVE alongside photos of Dragon Gate USA. Apollo's father was proud to see his WWE debut and told him to never take no for an answer. Sabby is training a bit while Shatner talks about WWE's strict head trauma protocol. He throws some fine punches against a phantom opponent before doing some huge leaps onto vertical leap pads. Matt tells him to be smart and he does some running drills.

Promo class is shown and Regal tells them that the fans are addressing the camera like they're the audience. We see Regal's "Real Man's Man" gimmick, his late ''08 character, the snob in WCW, and then coming out in a dress on Raw to show his versatility. Mojo Rawley says he'll knock you out in a pair of flip flops.

Baron Corbin travels to a live event with his girlfriend and Norman Smiley, who looks about 90% the same as he did in WCW. Norman insisted that they travel with a map and highlighter. Baron says he thought he would just take over day one. He's concerned about when he'll leave NXT and Norman won't give him an answer. The NXT crew sets the ring up before the live event.

Mojo tells Baron to "work that pork", and Baron says he can be a prick - and that doesn't bother him. Drake Wuertz is shown helping set up the ring in a shirt, which I'm surprised to see didn't get blurred. They run through tonight's card, which will see Finn Balor and Samoa Joe take on Baron Corbin and Tyler Breeze. Nooph isn't working, and she's heartbroken.

Bayley tells Carmella that it's weird to hold the title. We see a time lapse of the lighting setup and get clips of Bayley and Carmella winning their match. Corbin says that every struggle he's gone through will be worth it when he makes it as either WWE Champion or is on WrestleMania. Finn Balor beats him with the double stomp.

Nooph asks Sara what happened to her match. Sara tells her that she's sorry, but things changed. Matt Bloom asks Sara if Devin's body can handle this, and Sara tells him that she's had two big injuries. Sabby's concussion testing is up soon and the trainer/tester Bryan tells him that if he takes bumps and starts feeling nauseous or light-headed to just say something. Sabby is eager to get back to work and he does a headlock takeover and bumps off a shoulder tackle while Shatner says this could be the end of him in NXT if he doesn't pass the test. Canyon Ceman introduces himself as the VP of talent relations and says he has to let people go. He is in a room with both Sabby and Devin, and we fade to black with the WWE copyright information - so that's the hook for next week.
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WWE Hell in a Cell 2015

Corey appears to have just come back from prom here. Owens cuts a promo on the statue of "Magic Jackson".  Excellent Brock-Taker hype video here that should've been on Raw. King predicts Taker to win - so Brock's winning. Six man tag time. Stardust's gimmick is now that HE IS JEALOUS OF THE ATTENTION CESARO GETS. So how is this better than him being Cody Rhodes again? Odd for them to basically make Lana out to be a harlot here by saying she had an affair with Dolph.CESARO KILLS FUCKERS WITH UPPERCUTS! Poor Cesaro - he's getting over again. Time to job a few times in a row to Show again. 15 revolution swing leads to the Red Arrow and a win! Now see, IF THEY WANT TO, they can have Cesaro accept the challenge and finally beat Cena for the title. Tom interviews the Dudleys and asks them what they feel about what they did to the Dudleys. They've taken Xavier out tonight so he can get married - good for him. Dudleys say that tonight will be their new greatest moment.

After a fantastic video package for the show, Cena comes out to start the show. So odd to have the biggest full-time star in the opener. ZEB'S BACK! Zeb should really ask John about his cousin Juan Cena and whether or not he's a naturalized citizen. He wants the world to come together and brings out ALBERTO DEL RIO! Well, that's a shocker even with it being speculated in the Observer that he could be coming back in. AAA is so fucked. Cena covering his face like he was about to be hit by a bear off an Alberto chop off the top. Nothing amazing so far. Alberto hits the kneeling superkick of death AND WINS THE TITLE!

Roman vs. Bray is up next. Bray's out and King says he's afraid of "Ronda Reigns". Not much of a reaction for Roman. No reactions during the match either - they must've turned the crowd down. Double kendo sticks! Yuke's should really add dual wielding to the games. After a slew of weapon shots, including chairs and kendo sticks, JBL brings back the "toys" line to minimize everything. Roman teases a suplex off the apron through a ringside table, but Bray turns it into a uranage off the apron. Bodyblock against the cell by Bray. Great - Roman gets a powerbomb through a table BEFORE THE DUDLEYS MATCH. Dammit D'LO! Crazy spear off the apron by Roman gets 2. Abigail gets 2!

A beautiful Taker video hypes up...TAKER WRESTLING AT SURVIVOR SERIES. It was almost played off like a retirement ceremony.  Recap of Dudleys taking out Xavier while we see New Day come out and Kofi talks about getting your UNICORN HORNS! Nothing really much to the match beyond E and Kofi teasing a whazzup, then D-Von counters and they take control. Kofi feigns a trombone shot ala Eddie with a fake low blow, and a TIP kick wins. Okay then.

Nikki vs. Charlotte gets a Steph-heavy video package. No heat for intros. Nikki is put over as the veteran and dominates with a fantastic half-crab. Charlotte's grunting in either pain or too much pleasure - can't quite tell. Super German by Nikki is countered by a flip that could've killed both of them. Nikki is put over for fighting through all the pain... so then she's the face, right? Charlotte nose gets all fucked up, but she rolls through on the mat for the figure 8 and the win. This got to be...good-ish and a clusterfuck. Paige comes out to celebrate and no one is acting like anything's amiss. So wait, now PCB is ACTUALLY BACK!? Well, that was a month or so of storytelling for nothing.

Dean and Roman tease Roman going for the belt. Epic Kane recap video - so the IC Title match happens AFTER the WWE Title match and in the death slot. Kane starts it off with a DDT and a basement dropkick. Seth gets a chinlock. In an amusing bit, we get them saying "this isn't gonna be good". Kane gets bounced off the announce table, and before that, he sent Seth over it and screwed up  the commentary audio. High fly flow gets 2. Pedigree gets the win. God, this was such a nothing match.

THEY MADE RENEE PUT A JACKET ON! How dare they insult her breasts on breast cancer awareness month. HUGE POP for Owens. Halloween-colored Ryback gear is some of his least-bad in quite a while. Not even Owens can get a good match out of Ryback, who got up less for the powerbomb than a 40+ 400+ pound Mark Henry. Henry's match was far better too. Alberto-Cena recap.

THE BRINGER OF DOOM is out first. Taker gets an epic intro and they start things off with strikes. Taker sidesteps a German and sends Brock to the floor. Brock goes into the post and we get blood! Taker gets double-legged down. Chair to the back! Doc comes in to clean Brock up. Taker eats a big punch and TAKER SUPLEXES BROCK ON THE FLOOR! VINTAGE CHAIR THROAT-CRUSHER! JBL talks about this being the young lion vs. the old lion. The young lion here is 38. GERMANS TO TAKER! Taker is busted open too and an F5 gets 2. Brock shoves the doc and gets a second F5 for 2.5! The games need a doctor stoppage and a QTE where you beat the shit out of him.

Brock tosses the steps in. Steps to the head! 2.5! Step shot attempt on the ground is avoided by Taker. Next, he just kicks the steps into Brock's face - which looks odd. They bring up Kane, so maybe we'll get the Brothers of Destruction against...the Wyatts next month. Hell's Gate is on. BROCK SMASHes out of it. VINTAGE BULLY RAY as Brock tears up the ring. CHOKESLAM ON THE BOARDS! to..the boards gets 2. Taker slashes the throat, but BROCK PUNCHES HIM IN THE BALLS! F5 ON THE BOARDS GETS THE WIN!

They put Brock over huge and Taker struggled to do the situp, but got it and got a nice ovation. Big "Thank you Taker" chant. Taker is the best badass grandpa ever in pro wrestling. Taker goes for the kneel, but IT'S THE WYATT FAMILY! Wyatts vs. BoD and Not the Shield would be great. The Wyatts must've distracted Roman with catering. No one is out to help Taker, who eats some good stuff from Harper and bad stuff from Braun. They're carrying him out - and seemingly going to tie him to Bray's symbol - a sleeping fan. 

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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

WWE NXT 10-21-15

Battle royal recap starts things off. ASUKA'S OUT FOR THE OPENER! Billie Kae's belly sash reminds me of Mayor Quimby's sash. Kae attacks her off a handshake and gets 2. Big delayed suplex by Kae gets 2. KICKS OF DOOM are caught with a big forearm shot. This dooms Kae since it pisses her off. SMILE OF DOOM leads to the armbar. Snap German! Asuka grabs the arm, do-see-dos with it and then GETS THE ASUKA LOCK FOR THE WIN! Rhyno vs. Baron is the main event. Yikes.

Tyler does a selfie video and the NYC guys are out to face the Mechanics. 14 year old me would LOVE Team SAWFT. Lots of leg work to Enzo here - I dig it.Dawson gets a great Indian Deathlock and CHOPS THE CHEST during it. Enzo gets a flash cradle for the win. D & D last the battle, but won the war by laying them out. Byron's "offended" voice is amazing. A vicious attack is treated with the same level as a kid cutting in the lunch line.

RHYNO HYPE VID. NXT is hyping up Rhyno better than Brock Lesnar on PPV this week. Eva video from Paris. 2 Komen vids. A $2 version of Doc Gallows comes out to face JAMES STORM. "He started out in WCW AND THEN SPENT 15 YEARS ON THE INDIES!" He's in his Cowboy slicker and Bearded Outlaw gear. He won with a silly Kryptonite Krunch into a Russian legsweep called the 8 Second Ride. Fans did the BEER-MONEY bit. Crews video package about how tough his upbringing was - but it made him tougher. He's sorry for being hard on his mom when he was younger, and came off great here - he seemed like a human being. EVOLVE footage was used for this too.

Alexa and the dubstep cowboys came out. Payton's ground and pound somehow nearly put herself in the worse position. Never do that again. Ditto the jumping Booker T side kick that missed by a mile. Alexa wins with the moonsault kneedrop and the sparkle splash before cutting a promo on Bayley. Baron von lon lone wolf and Rhyno had a fun brawl. They fought on the floor after each guy got tired of like trying moves. Corbin gets a black hole slam for 2. Corey just compared Baron to MIKE TYSON, and then Baron did the worst Bossman baseball slide punch in human history. Baron needs to stop taking pages from Velvet Sky's book about taking bumps on his elbows. Gore hits and gets 2! Gore into the End of Days wins for Baron. Fun match.

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Monday, October 19, 2015

WWE Raw 10-19-15

We've got the go-home show for Hell in a Cell - a show that sure feels like just another show even with them honest to God giving away a main event for what should theoretically be the biggest WrestleMania of all time. Corporate Kane has been suspended, BUT HAS DEMON KANE!? I bet we'll find out 2 hours and 59 minutes into the show. RAW IS AUSTIN AND HE'S HERE TO START THE SHOW! Austin-Taker on-air one last time. BOY THANK GOD THEY BUILT THIS UP! God, Byron can't even fake excitement for THE UNDERTAKER AND STEVE AUSTIN IN THE RING TOGETHER.

They had one last Taker-Austin bit handed to them via their own writing, and Austin is just gone. Ugh. Taker promised to take Brock to Hell. Heyman says that Taker will have to lift with the fact that BROCK TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM HIM! This great thing has already become "They talked and talked and talked and talked" Brock walked down and then...left. Taker's hat left a red mark on his head. Well...I'm already tired at it's 8:15.


This is followed up by Cena and the Dudleys against THE NEW DAY. They have a pretty standard match that New Day wins after Cena hits a pescado and Devon gets schoolboyed for a loss. Cena's a sore loser and hits an AA, while the Dudleys and Cena do a triple superbomb through a table on Woods. Orton is apparently off the Mexico tour and off the PPV too. JBL says HIS SOURCES say that the Wyatts took Orton out. Next, Renee will talk to the "vudical fringe". Okay then.

Dean wants the Wyatts tonight. Nikki and Alicia are out for a tag match. YES A STAR! And Naomi and Tamina. Apparently, the Bellas have been trying to drive a wedge between Naomi and Sasha. When, and why should I care? Why are Naomi and Sasha friends? What do they have in common? Why did Alicia just stop mid-ring and turn around? Yikes. Nikki dominates Naomi by...rubbing her ass into Naomi's back as she's against the ropes. Nice of Alicia to throw herself in front of Nikki's head for no reason there for a head bonk off an O'Connor roll. Nikki wins with a Rack Attack. Recap of Kane-Seth stuff from last week.

Komen video package. HBK is out for reasons that I'm sure will be explained soon. HBK eats some fan's food for some reason. Okay, he ate a kid's pizza - and it's lodged in his throat. He's been to Hell - and he was in a cell too. HBK says that due to concussions, he can't remember the cell with Taker. Hoping we get some Bray and HBK interaction. Shame it would likely result in HBK superkicking Bray. Seth's out. HBK's here to endorse the modern-day "guy with the belt" WWE Champion Seth Rollins. Seth vs. HBK would be great. Ya know, Seth's booking does bring validity to HBK being a dickhead and not doing jobs when he got on the top of the cards. And then HBK told him that he got where he was by NOT being the second coming of anyone, burying Seth, saying that Seth faces Ryback...and we didn't even get a superkick. Sucked, but it was amusing.

Now in this battle between IC Title contender and THE WWE CHAMPION, I'm honestly not sure who will win. Seth eats a big backdrop from a man in a giant pink and white singlet. I guess Ryback can't decide which Kirby color he likes more - pink, or the original US box art white. SETH GETS THE PEDIGREE AND WINS! THE ISOTOPES WIN A GAME! THE ISOTOPES WIN A GAME! 

Recap of Taker stuff. SD recap with Dolph turning Summer down. Foolish Summer - thinking an angle would progress on SmackDown. Dolph's teaming with Cesaro, who he does a glorious pose with. Oh and Neville too. We come back and his theme is still playing. Christ, imagine having to suffer through Neville's theme through an entire ad break. Barrett's out. Then Rusev. Everyone just hits some moves for a break. Rusev dominates him by stomping on his head after the break. CESARO BUSTS OUT A FLIP TO THE APRON TO COUNTER SHEAMUS! Sheamus his the Brogue to Dolph as he's draped on the apron and BARRETT WINS. So that built up nothing on the PPV then. Flair and HBK exchange some words.

Miz TV will have Summer and Dolph. YAY FLAIR'S OUT! WWE UBERVERSE! Flair puts Roman over as HIS MAIN MAN who will team with Dean! Wyatts are out. Oh, and Rowan's back too. He'd better answer the call or else...the fans will stop holding their phone lights up in tribute to him? "ROMAN, I AM YOUR FATTHERRRR!" Ha - great bit from a fan. "YOU SHOULD BE VERY FRAID OF ME!" And then they brawl.

HBK, HHH, and Seth chat for a bit. Steph is there too. Charlotte beats Brie in a match. Paige hypes up PAST DIVAS possibly being the ones who attacked Nattie. A Sally Jessy Raphael reference in 2015?! YES! OWENS VS. HENRY! SOMETHING NEW! Super-fun match with clubbering and A POP-UP POWERBOMB! Ryback and Henry then double-team and attack Owens, who eats a Ryback powerbomb. What bullies. Henry in a feud with Owens has some real potential - they had great chemistry there.

Brock-Taker hype. It's really hit me tonight that they are giving away the BIGGEST WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT IN HISTORY this Sunday and boy do I not care as much as I want to about it. BIG DAWG MAIN EVENT TAG MATCH TIME. Seth is teaming with them, so yes, IT'S A SHIELD REUNION ON RAW WITH NO BUILD. YES! ROMAN VS. ROWAN - the match the world has been waiting for. Seth charges into Bray in the corner.

Dean slams into Braun and Braun bowls him down. HE RAN INTO A WALL, BROTHERS! Great bit with Seth clapping "TAG/ME/IN!" and then dropping down. Superman punch hits Rowan, and man should that be his finish. Head and arm choke is on, but Dean attacks with a kendo stick for a DQ. Strowman catches Dean on a dive. Why does Roman's dive look like he's swimming in mid-air? Roman kicked tons of ass to close the show - so is he losing or do they want to keep this momentum rolling with a win?

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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

TNA Impact 10-14-15 Rundown

Matt vs. Davey was pretty good. Shera vs. Steve wasn't quite as awful as I thought, and I LOLed at Shera still being in his Khoya gear. This tourney is quite the mess though - they don't really show full bracketing, so it seems like a hodge-podge of matches between each grouping. Good show overall, but the stench of death still lingers around it.

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Team Booty

NXT 10-14-15

Excellent Takeover Respect recap. They got some great angles of the Dusty intros, and the iron woman match came off as special - but they didn't tell the epic story well. YAY IT'S BAYLEY! Bayley is just so much fun now. Can time just stand still so she won't be destroyed in every fashion on the main roster? Bayley says that they started a new level of the divas revolution...oh God just them using that term in NXT hurts the NXT women's division. BOOM CHICA WUB WUB IT'S ALEXA! She says she was in awe of Bayley and no one deserves to be champ more than her. Alexa steals the belt and has her goons to hide behind. She mocks Bayley for writing letters to herself. Blake and Murphy as her cuckolds is fantastic.

 After Takeover, Joe and Balor chat but they're interrupted by Regal. Joe says he wants a shot at the title and he's undefeated. Finn says he's a fighting champion, and the match is made. Regal says it's not quite that easy. Regal makes a battle royal, and the winner faces Finn. Tye's hair isn't a perfect 10. Vaudevillains are out and Corey does not want to dance to their music. They're facing Dawkins and Fulton. They dominate in the corner with some nice strikes. Whirling Dirvish wins - short, but fun match. Devin asks the Mechanics if they're impressed by the Vaudevillains. They say that since they beat the champs in the Dusty classic, they should be champs - but they've got to go through Enzo and Cass. Okay Dana-Asuka video - didn't really capture the greatness of Asuka though. THEN WE GOT THE ASUKA GREETS EMMA VIDEO!

 A New Zealander named Evie is out to face Nia Jax. Very un-diva physique and unflattering gear. Wacky jumping bearhug from Jax. Jax wins with a one armed head-spiking uranage. I get more of a Tapa vibe from her than Kong. Eva Marie is on vacay in Paris. Everyone but Rhino and Joe gets a jobber intro for the battle royal. Ciampa and Garano are here too! Abandon ship battle royal. Tons of eliminations after a break. Rhyno eliminates Bull. I DEMAND RHYNO VS. BULL! More fun stuff with Joe and Breeze. Poor Tyler is taken out by Joe to boos. Tyler eliminates Joe despite him being already out of this. Baron and Crews are up. Crews rolls back in and sad tummy gets even sadder. Standing moonsault is met with knees. THREE ENZUIGURIS TAKE HIM DOWN AND A LARIAT SENDS HIM OUT TO THE FLOOR! Fun - nothing really to see though.

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Monday, October 12, 2015

WWE Raw 10-12-15

Not quite sure what's going on tonight. I assume we'll get a lot more with Kane, lots of talking, and something with Rusev and Lana. Kane is on speaker phone with HHH and Steph - they're delayed for reasons. Kane is in charge tonight. Kane tells the stage manager to tell Seth that he has a match with a RING SURROUNDED BY SUPERSTARS MATCH against Kane.

Generic intro. Dean welcomes us to Raw. Dean says he's not going to bore us - so Raw is now self-aware. He wants a fight and Orton says he's happy because he's from St. Louis, but he LOVES CHICAGO! Orton says that last night, he was fighting the Wyatts. Dean is apparently fighting Braun and Harper, with Orton as his partner. Well, that was weird. Orton is taking a 20 mile road to go to a corner store here. Orton is basically just having a conversation with himself. YES NEW DAY! They've managed to make Orton emote - God bless New Day. Kofi and Big E face Dean and Orton next.

After a break, Orton hits a slingshot suplex to Kofi for 2. Dean tags in, as does Big E. Big E resurrecting the Alex Wright Dance is great. Orton goes for a knee, but Dean tags in for... a stomp. Orton comes back in to show him how that's done. THEN THEY TAKE TURNS STOMPING! Yet another ad break.

After the break, NEW! DAY STOMPS! Lots of stuff occurs and Kofi pushes Orton into Dean and SCHOOLBOYS ORTON FOR THE WIN! KOFI PINS ORTON! KOFI PINS ORTON! KOFI PINS ORTON! KOFI PINS ORTON! Roman battles Braun and we'll get a Brock-Taker preview. Boy does that match just not seem like a huge deal right now.

Wow, that show is under 2 weeks away. BROCK ALSO SENT OUT A TWEET! Taker vs. Brock is now hyped up with history involving titles...but not the WWE Title Brock held in '02. Odd. Streak ending recap. Great graphic for all this. Nikki comes out and feigns flashing her breasts. This divas revolution just seems a bit odd with Nikki fake-flashing her breasts and shaking her ass around. The former is especially odd to do during breast cancer awareness month.
Nikki vs. Naomi is hyped up with SASHA VS. BAYLEY being called history-making. They then air a video package on then why isn't that exact thing just being copied here? Excellent video for Bayley vs. Sasha - so then if Bayley's better than Sasha, logically, why isn't she on the main roster too? Naomi gets the edge with that weird rimjob move of hers. Nikki gets some things resembling kicks to the body in. Naomi gets a big dive, and Brie talks shit, Tbut gets taken down off the apron by Sasha. Rack Attack for the win. This sucked. Raw is sponsored by Payday candy bar. Okay then. Payday needs to make a Dusty Rhodes tribute bar called the Pay Window.

Reigns and Cena hate cancer. SINCE PAYDAY IS AN UNCONVENTIONAL CANDY BAR, Byron does a man on the street segment where everyone says Paige and/or Dean are the most unconventional superstar and/or diva. Well, as bad as the man on the street thing was, Paige and Byron's interaction was worse. Cena comes out and talks about loving Chicago. Astonished we didn't get a CM Punk chant during this Cena bit. Dolph accepts the challenge. Lana gets mentioned on commentary, and they brought up the engagement on the site.

The Twitter crawl points out that Taker looks old and broken down. A guy holds up a SHE SAID YES sign. So YET ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT. Armbar exchange. Sleeper when we get back. Great zoom-in on the bald spot after the break. Poor Cena - I hope he's taking time off to get that worked on. Dolph's fake tan is something else. His chest is dark orange and his back is pale.  Cena counters a sunset flip with an STF. Dolph regains the sleeper.

Sloppy tossing AA sends Dolph outside. Cena brings him in for 2. Cena picks him up and puts him up top. Cena goes for a Super AA, but Dolph gets a super DDT for 2. Cena lariats the air and Dolph does a Rikishi sell for it. AA countered into a bizarre fameasser. STF, but Dolph gets to the ropes.Crossbody rollthrough leads to an AA being countered with an eye rake and a superkick for 2.5! Goddamn - Dolph actually feels like he's being elevated by this! Awesome. Boo/yay punch exchange. ZIG ZAG GETS 2. AA GETS THE WIN!

Kane chats with Hunter, and informs him that the show is going SWIMMINGLY. Steph hates Tess the flight attendant. Sting: Into the Light video package airs. Dudleys vs. Ascension is up. Nice of Bully to hold the guy's hand so he knew he was ready for the Doomsday Device. Neville's out getting a partial intro to team with Cesaro against Barrett and Sheamus. Weird double team flippy-do from Neville and Cesaro. Heels cheat to beat Neville with a bullhammer on the floor.

WWE Did You Know is now the Payday plug - for Xavier's Youtube channel. Roman the world-beating asskicker with cool moves rambled on a bit. Dean teams with the Dudleys against the New Day on SD. Braun tosses Roman, who takes an awesome bump. Slow mo on a SCOOP SCLAM for Braun. Aloha Braun sell off the Superman Punch! Drive by hits, but a second one leads to a thing resembling a lariat counter. Harper eats a Superman punch. Why isn't that a DQ? Strowman is sent over the table with the punch and Roman wins via countout. What a blood feud. These guys are INCHES APART doing an interpretive dance to one another.

Mr. Kane finishes watching the match and gets a call from Hunter. Kane tells him that he made Seth in a lumberjack match. AGAINST HIM! Now HHH and Kane are doing a Who's on First bit with "It's Me" in 2015. Payday - THE UNCONVENTIONAL CANDY BAR. Human beings were paid to come up with this concept. I bet they also made Corn Nuts - THE EXTREME CORN SNACK. Rusev's out.

And then out of nowhere, Cole just says that TMZ broke that Rusev and Lana are engaged. Ryback is in white and pink looking like a Pepto Bismol bottle. So then just out of nowhere, Rusev is just engaged to Lana in this story. Again, there are many missing chapters in these books. Summer's with him and Cole says maybe she doesn't use social media much. Byron says that actually, she does - a lot. Well, this is sure goofy. Ryback hits the lariat, but eats a superkick. OH MY GOD RYBACK JUST BEAT RUSEV. Jesus. Wow. Quite the fuck you to RuRu there. "Rusev makes ONE MISTAKE!" Summer is now a sarcastic bitch to him. Summer shows off TMZ. So then Lana's character is of course blameless in this, right? WHY ARE THEIR TWEETY BIRD SOUNDS IN THE BACKGROUND OF RAW? Summer calls him a bastard and slaps him. "And it's all Lana's fault" Well, they're both doomed. Way to maximize characters, WWE.

Kalisto is out to be massacred by Owens. LOL at the LUCHALUCHA senton. LUCHA DIVE TEASE into...a rolldown and then a club to the back. Tremendous. DRAGONRANA OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR countered into a thing resembling a powerbomb. Hot damn, this is a blast - Kalisto's flipping around like a nut here. Owens catching him off a dive and wins with the powerbomb. Team CB Radio vs. Bella B-Team is up.

Charlotte faces Nikki, and Cole for one, RECITES WHAT TEAM PCB MEANS IN CASE THAT'S TOO SMART FOR THE FANS TO UNDERSTAND. Nattie has joined CB and they're now NBC. Wacky double team to Brie leads to her kicking Charlotte right in the ass and then kneeing her...near the air near her stomach. After lots of weird shit, Brie wins with a missile dropkick off the second rope. Wow. Everything about this was dumbfounding. LOL - Paige asks "good to go?" right after Kane is shown on-air. Steph breaks Kane's balls over making the main event, and HHH says that YOU can't face him. Of course, "you" is Corporate Kane. Demon Kane is different. This is met with a gigantic CM Punk chant.

Show and Seth chat. Poor Seth can't even get Big Show on his side - or win! Corporate Kane tells Seth that HHH tells him that he can't face Seth tonight. HIAC hype. NOW IT'S A 13 YEAR RIVALRY!? "Superstars come down to play lumberjacks!" Wouldn't want to pay tribute to Dusty by having clips of the Dusty Classic or anything. HBK, Taker, Flair, and Brock will be on Raw next week - good to give that 15 minutes of hype. Show hits a KO punch on Kane for 2. New Day attacks Kane and a clusterfuck emerges.Then they all go from fighting on the floor to beating up Kane mid-ring. WHY IS A MATCH STILL GOING ON!? WHY ISN'T ANY OF THIS A DQ!? Kane gets a tombstone for the win. Wow was this stupid.

NJPW King of Pro Wrestling 2015

It's TIMMEEEEE for the latest NJPW PPV via NJPW World. Not sure if I'm getting English or Japanese here as there's only one link on the NJPW World site. Striker and Kelly get an intro, which the English announcers didn't get on WK 9. Sydal faces Omega for the Jr title, RPG Vice faces reDRagon for the Jr. Tag titles, Anderson faces Nakamura for the IC Title, Naito faces Tanahashi for the WK 10 title shot, and AJ is facing Okada for the IWGP Title! Naito, super-cocky motherfucker rules.

I'm getting it in English - this is neato. Juice Robinson has more charisma here in just his intro than he ever did as CJ Parker. In an amusing visual, he's the only one with more than just black in his gear. Liger gets a replacement theme - the WWE Network song pretty much, and they now say on the show that the music has been changed. The audio mixing is iffy here because the music is much louder than the commentary. The young lions team beats up Liger until he lands the palm strike on Tanaka. Juice runs wild on KUSHIDA, who then eats a big Booker T high kick on KUSHIDA. Jay White tags in and attacks the leg of KUSHIDA. JUICE AND TAGUCHI GO AT IT. HIP ATTACK TO TAGUCHI! But Taguchi hits him with one and Tiger Mask gets a springboard dive. Tiger Mask gets 2 off a crucifix to Juice. Juice gets a senton and standing frog splash for 2. Striker calls a Tiger Driver a double underhook powerbomb IN A MATCH WITH TIGER MASK. Finlay tags in and runs a bit wild before eating a ton of offense for 2. Striker says that fighting spirit is like a fighting game life meter. Please no. Dorada gets a super rana for 2. Everyone gets a wacky submission and Dorada pins Finlay with a Cradle Shock.

YOSHI-HASHI is out to face Tomoaki Honma. Double lariat barrage! HONMA GOES DOWN! 2.9! Hashi gets a flip powerbomb for 2 leading to Striker talking about THE FIGHTING SPIRIT! Honma avoids a big senton. Honma preps the head for a diving...shoulderbutt we'll say for 2.9. Hashi gets a rollup for 2.Diving headbutt hits for the win! HONMA WINS! Honma's taped up back appears to be hurting him as he won't stop pointing to it. Striker says that Honma COULD be going for the NEVER Title at WK 10.

Well, Blogger didn't save - so here's a quick rundown of other stuff. Wacky 8 man tag was fine mid-card fodder.  reDRagon vs. RPG Vice was short, but very good. Ditto Omega vs. Sydal, which was a back-heavy match. Love the One Winged Angel. Nice build for Nakamura vs. Anderson in the Bullet Club vs. Nakamura, Saku, and Yano. Love Yano winning with a DOUBLE LOW BLOW and Tonga taking two bumps off one low blow.
Ishii vs. Makabe had their 800th match this year. Neither Striker or Kelly could get Ishii's name right for most of the match. CHAIN OF LARIATS sends Ishii down with a thud - only he falls like a tree onto his own neck. Nasty, vile headbutts too. Dragon suplex! Sliding D gets 2! BRAINBUSTER! 3! Tanahashi vs. Naito is up for Tana's 1/4 case. Super-prick Naito taking eons to disrobe is great. Nice eye rake too. Deliberate pace throughout much of this. BEAUTIFUL low blow - he blocks a kick and BAM right to the balls! Jackknife cradle gets 2! Slingblade hits! Standing High Fly Flow hits and Naito hits on his head, before a regular HFF hits for the win!

AJ's out with the Bullet Club to face Okada for the title. Striker, to his credit, says that this is the rubber match with each man being 2-2 so far. Nice rollthrough into the over the knee neckbreaker for Okada. Forearm exchanges! I like each guy taking a bump for them - very different than normal. German INTO THE RAINMAKER FOR 2! Love Anderson's glee at this kickout. He eats a forearm. OKADA FLIP TO THE BC! Bloody Sunday countered into a rana, into a Pele! FLIPAROUND INTO THE TOMBSTONE! AJ avoids and goes for the Clash, but Okada sends him to the apron. NASTY European uppercut to AJ up top. They tease a Super Clash, but AJ gets nasty chops instead. RUNNING LARIAT BY OKADA! RAINMAKER FOR THE WIN! Tanahashi comes down and reminds him that he's got the case.

Excellent show overall - what needed to be good and/or exciting was, and the mid-card stuff was entertaining. 

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Friday, October 9, 2015

TNA Impact 10-7-15 Rundown

So this was just an absolute clusterfuck in theory. It wound up being a solid little tournament, even if it came out of nowhere if you were just going by Impact shows. Drew vs. Bram was fun minus the weird mid-match conversation. Brooke vs. Gail was excellent, and set up a future Knockouts title match logically too. Spud vs. Grado was just awful as a comedy match, and worse when you think it's part of a World title tourney. Madison vs. Kong was fun, and Anderson vs. Lashley over-delivered. Aries vs. EC3 was perfect for what it needed to be, and kudos to Aries for not even being signed and still finding a way to verbally put himself over on their former world champion.

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Don't get confused, okay?



Go Knockouts Go



Wednesday, October 7, 2015

WWE NXT Takeover: Respect

Lita is in some giant denim thing on the pre-show. They plug the Bayley stuff on WWE 24. Human Friend interviews Sasha. Excellent hype for the main event - shame they'll never get the point of any of this on the main roster. I'll be watching as much of the first hour as I can before switching over to Impact - and I might knock out hour 2 after ROH or tomorrow. Storm is basically confirmed to be debuting here too, so it should be a really exciting show for many reasons. Hilarious early '00s emo music here to hype up Sasha-Bayley.


The opening hype video focuses on respect being the most important thing. Then the wacky "THE SCARS WILL BUILD MY SOULLL!" music plays. Finn Balor is out first with his slick Balor Club tron - it's a better tron than a shirt. Speaking of which, a fan has a slick Scarface setup for Joe that needs to be a shirt. Joe runs wild and Balor gets a big rushing dropkick to Dawson. Knee clip by Dawson takes him out. Dawson gets a half crab and a 4 1/2 count. THEY GET 2 OFF A DEMOLITION DECAPITATION! Balor finally tags Joe, who runs wild. Big senton onto Dash. ST-JOE! Finn wants a tag and gets it after the Muscle Buster. Double stomp hits and he seemingly hurts his knee worse. I'm sensing an Owen/Bret Rumble '94 turn here, and I like it. I also love the cowboy boots in the Dusty trophy.


Jordan and Gable are out to face Rhyno and Corbin. Such a shame Rhyno won't be in 2K16 because he's been great in NXT .JORDAN FLIPPED OUT OF A HIPTOSS. HE IS AWESOME! I really need to make Jordan and Gable in FPR.Tremendous fling bump into the corner by Gable there. THE FANS ARE SINGING GA-BLE TO THE TUNE OF KURT'S THEME! Gable gets a rope armbar on Rhyno. Gable and Jordan each have more charisma than Team Angle did combined. "SAVE THE GABLE!" CHANT! Jordan FINALLY GETS THE TAG and hits some backdrop drivers! Corner spear to Baron in the corner. Super duper black hole slam by Corbin hits, but JORDAN SAVES. They are now officially a giant babyface team. Jordan and Gable are being made not quite in one night, but DAMMIT, Rhyno prevents a German suplex pin. GORE TO JORDAN! Motherfuckers - Baron and Rhyno won! Well, Jordan and Gable still shined and of course, the heels had to win...but damn it, that was heartbreaking. They just made two stars tonight. Such a shame they can't just transplant NXT to Raw.


Dana Brooke ISN'T YOUR ENEMY. OR FRIEND! Emma's new gear remains amazing. Asuka debuts a new mask and IT'S TERRIFYING. THEN SHE'S HAPPY AND THAT'S EVEN SCARIER! Asuka eats slaps, so we get a super-long hammerlock exchange with flips. A SLAP LEADS TO A YOU FUCKED UP CHANT AND A BUZZSAW COMBO! ASUKA DOES DANA'S POSE! Kick right to the ass. Ouch. ANKLE LOCK INTO A GERMAN BY ASUKA! JUMPING ARMBAR BY ASUKA! Dana rolls into a modified crossface chickenwing! SPINNING BACKFIST TO EMMA! So to recap, Asuka is more of a star in one night than KENTA has been in NXT. ASUKA CITY! Crossface chickenwing with a bodyscissors gets the win, and it's the AsukaLock. THIS RULED! Dana talks smack and EATS A KICK. ASUKA HAS HER NEW VICTIM! STEAL EMMA STEAL. GET AWAY FROM ASUKA!

The trainer works on Finn's knee. Nia Jax video. Breeze is out to get squashed. He eats a great pounce on the floor. Crews avoids a schoolboy and lands a kick to the face. OUCH! Crews BOUNCED off that fucking LED board. Damn. Breeze drops an elbow to the back and whips him hard into the buckle for 2. Nice camel clutch/chinlock variant here, right out of Angle's playbook. Sideways backstabber for 2! Crews gets a slick flip, but eats a superkick for 2. Breeze gets a corner forearm, but eats a giant boot! Atomic whip into a powerbomb wins. Okay then - good match, iffy finisher. Funaki and Itami are in the crowd.

Dusty finals are up and Finn's got his knee wrapped up. Rhino attacks the left knee on the floor. Joe gets overwhelmed by the odds and eats a Gore, but Balor saves. Balor punts Baron on the apron, and Joe punts Rhyno during the gore. Joe and Balor repeat the earlier finish, without a swerve! The Rhodes family presents the trophy. Dustin looks incredibly young for his age - God bless him for getting things in his life fixed up while his dad was around. Cody says that Dusty's dad died 37 years ago, and they can all remember and respect the Dream.

Cody is so much better as Cody than as Stardust. It isn't like Goldust where he comes alive in the paint - he is actively held back by it. They play Dusty's theme and Finn and Joe hold the trophy high. Bayley-Sasha hype video. Sasha's out first and it feels a bit like an ECW alumnus coming out in the ECW Arena - she is just beloved here. Bayley gets a new red and gold cape with the dramatic music before THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW!

The crowd chants MAIN EVENT and man does Bayley's new gear rule. I might just make her in FPR. Bayley's gear colors are based on Iron Man, which is a great little touch. They stare for a bit to a "you deserve it!" chant. A back and forth tie-up starts things off. Sasha lands badly on a Japanese armdrag and Bayley shows sympathy - but pays for it. Bayley comes back with a pair of sliding dropkicks to the floor. They each avoid hitting the ref, so Sasha hops in front of him and pokes Bayley's eye and GETS A FALL OFF A SCHOOLGIRL!

Sliding Bayley against the ropes leads to a snap belly to Bayley for the fall! They're now 1-1. GIANT SWING BOMB INTO THE STEPS TO BAYLEY! Bayley is sent into them a second time, and I just realized that she has a tattoo on her neck. THIRD STEP SHOT! BAYLEY KICKS OUT! Bayley gets thrown to the floor and they play up her re-injuring her bad knee. Sasha TOSSES HER INTO THE TRON! Sasha's up 2-1 via countout! Izzy starts crying. This is amazing. Bayley beats a second count at 9.

A Sasha's ratchet/no she's not chant breaks out during a 2 count. Sasha stomps the back and man is Bayley one of the best babyfaces in peril out there. Sasha pulls her out of the corner for an iffy backbreaker for 2. LIONTAMER! NOW WITH FACE STOMPS! BAYLEY COUNTERS IT INTO THE BULLDOG-BRET CRADLE FOR A SECOND FALL! It's now 2-2.

Bayley avoids double knees with some kicks and lands some clubbing blows. They try a wacky lucha armdrag and it doesn't work, but a makeshift DDT gets 2. SHE'S HAIR TIE-ING UP and hits a diving back elbow for 2. Tree of woe elbow gets 2 for Bayley.  Bayley gets crotched and locked into a tree of woe for double knees, but Bayley kicks out at 2. They're tied up at 2-2 with nine minutes left. Love Sasha mocking Bayley by doing her wacky tube men dance.

Sasha goes for a corner spear, but misses! Sasha tries to attack Bayley's hand, but Bayley hurts hers! Bayley moves the steps around and smashes Sasha's hand onto them before diving onto her! Bayley catches her on a dive and hits the belly to Bayley on the floor! SASHA KICKS OUT! RUN UP BELLY TO BAYLEY GETS 3, but Sasha's foot is on the rope. REVERSE BAYLEYCANRANA IS ROLLED THROUGH AND SASHA GETS THE BELLY TO BAYLEY AND THE BANK STATEMENT! BAYLEY GETS IT ON, BUT SASHA GETS IT BACK ON! BAYLEY SMASHES THE HAND WITH 40 SECONDS LEFT!Backstabber, but Bayley gets A DOUBLE ARMBAR! SASHA TAPS AND BAYLEY WINS!

The women's roster and the real cause of the women's revolution Stephanie stand front and center to clap for her. Regal and HHH presented flowers to each of them. Sara Amato looked so proud here, and she should be. HHH hugged Bayley and she cried in his arms. This ruled.


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