Jericho-Big E came off like a big deal thanks to the opening vid.
Holy crap, the PPV is only in two days. Tag title match feels important,
while the U.S. Title match feels like something on the card. I loved
how Bryan worked both YES and NO logically into the promo and putting
over his title wins over the past year or so. I loved them having a
wacky breakup and Bryan calling Kane the weak link. Orton being fine
with Kane chokeslamming Bryan...except for it hurting his match on
Sunday ruled too. The Shield taking pride in causing this disarray was
good too. This didn't set up anything new, but was an awesome use of 12
minutes anyway. Sheamus is walking around backstage, preparing to come
out and be an asshole.
Or to face Cesaro, who sadly
got no intro and even did the generic jobber hand raise. I love
Sandow-Sheamus getting more and more build now that it's a pre-show
match. Also dug Sandow putting Cesaro over as a man who knows five
languages. At least someone's trying to put him over. Cesaro and Sheamus
done hit each other hard. Twas great. Zeb cut a promo ON THE APP...and
they just showed him pointing. I sure hope the app has him saying words
aloud. Sheamus's style is now "catch as catch can". Maybe that's Texas
for clubberin. Cesaro was taken out with a nice shot into the barricade
leading to an ad break. They came back with some body blows and Cole
called a basic Bret Hart backbreaker was now the Irish Curse. Zeb feels
that both Cesaro and Renee are the "good kind" of immigrants. So he's
now basically a slave-owner who approves of his negros as long as they
don't cause problems. JBL suggested they have this match in a phone
booth. I've seen a shark cage match, and it was awful. Then again, it
also involves Strongbow.
Sheamus's shoulder is covered
in blood, which explains why the ref had gloves on when they came back.
OUTSIDE-IN IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER got two. I love that spot and demand
it be featured in the games from now on. Modified version of Sean
O'Haire's WWE finisher slam got two, but seemed really impressive due to
how big Sheamus is. Brogue kick got the win. This vastly exceeded my
expectations since I figured Cesaro would just be squashed. Somehow,
Sheamus OVERCAME THE ODDS. How that happened in a straight-up one on one
match with no interference I have no idea. Sheamus paid too much
attention to the ring and not enough to his surroundings, as Sandow was
able to sneak up and attack him from behind on the ramp. Gorgeous shots
of Punk are building up a return hype vid, and would look way cooler
without the giant NEXT graphic on them.
Bray Wyatt is
going to be something else when he hits TV. According to Cole, TWO OF
THE WORDS THE WWE UNIVERSE IS USING TO DESCRIBE THE WYATT FAMILY ARE
UNSETTLING AND INTRIGUED. Less bullshit like that and more vids. Punk
video ruled. THE BEST IN THE WORLD RETURNS on Sunday. Shame it's a day
after a UFC show. Teddy got a call in the HARDEES BACON CHEESE
THICKBURGER control center, but was interrupted by Dolph's posse. Big E
ate his burger and he was sad. Not sure why he didn't just eat the other
burger on the table, or why he acted surprised seeing A COMPLETELY
PREPARED MEAL in the room he was in. Maybe the burger fairies made it
appear out of thin air or something. Khali wrestles next. Also, there's a
Last of Us ad, which is far better than any Khali match not involving
Finlay or Cena.
Slater's facing Khali, and Drew's new
wacky baseball shirt rules. Slater being in designer jeans is a nice
change, and Cole talking about how hard things are for Khali was sad. He
has to buy himself three seats to fly. At least Vince is helping him
make as much money as possible before he has to retire. Kane and Bryan
are having a muted argument ON THE APP. I'm not sure what's worse -
muting the audio so it doesn't detract from TV, or not muting it and
making it so you can't hear what's supposed to make you want to watch
the app. Thanks to some help and a reverse DDT, Slater won. Holy shit.
Alberto/Jericho vs. Big E/Dolph is up next.
Dolph's
concussion was brought to us in replay form by Hardee's. It's great that
WWE has this money rolling in, but good lord they come off like TNA did
during the BROUGHT TO YOU BY MORPHOPLEX era. Lilian's now introing
Ricardo introing Alberto, which is getting the ALBERTTOOOO part over to a
variety of balding middle-aged men. They added in some terrible ADR
hyping up Nikki Bella being a judge on some pageant on NBC this weekend.
Dolph is also on the JBL and Cole show on WWE's Youtube show. I liked
JBL bringing back the idea of Big E wanting the gold, and saying he
didn't become one of the top power-lifters without having a big ego.
Jericho going for chops on Big E seems like it should be sold like a
headbutt on a Samoan. Nice bodyblows by Big E. Heels bailed from the
faces to lead to a break.
Wedge E. was taken out with a
baseball slide from dropkick. Terrible ADR job plugging some WWE.com
article. Massive leaping bodyblock from Langston took Jericho down. Rude
Awakening, complete with hip swivel, got 2 for Dolph. Alberto's stolen
Orton's clothesline>clothesline spot, but with a tilt a whirl
backbraker instead of a powerslam. Dolph took about three bumps for the
backbreaker. Alberto cradled Dolph to win the tag match, so he's not
winning on Sunday. Chicago is ONE OF THE BEST WWE UNIVERSE TOWNS
according to JBL. Good lord. I hated that phrase when Punk said it on
Austin's last DVD, and it's still terrible. Kaitlyn's cleavage is ready
for action next.
But first, THE WWE APP HAS BEEN
DOWNLOADED SIX MILLION TIMES. And Jericho needs to talk with Renee Young
about Punk. He talked about his WWF debut in Chicago, so it won't be as
pro-Punk as some may think. Heyman offered a handshake, which was
declined. Loved him saying good luck, and saying that Jericho will in
fact need it...before SHOUTING THAT CM PUNK IS THE WINNER OF THE MATCH
AND THE BEST IN THE WORLD! Aksana's sax music showed her as the
opponent, while Big E's humilation of Kaitlyn was replayed. Kaitlyn
girl-slapped the ref, who was terrified and then she got DQed for a hard
slap. This was hilarious, and the close-ups of Kaitlyn's lips were
terrifying. Five millionth recap of the Ryback-Cena deal. I cannot wait
for this feud to end so it will just be over. Ryback calling himself
Satan just reminds me of South Park's version, since he's impossible to
take seriously. His promo are hilarious, and he gets title shots by either losing or not winning major matches.
Curtis
Axel's match is sponsored by Hardee's. This product placement deal has
to go. "The Undefeated" Curtis Axel faces a mystery man next. Him using
Lashley's intro pose doesn't seem to fit him at all. The SUPER BACON
SLAM presents a video showing Miz beating Cody and Axel being brought in
to build up the IC Title match. Holy shit, WADE BARRETT, THE IC
CHAMPION got a jobber intro. DID YOU KNOW THAT THE HARDEE'S BACON THICK
BURGER HAS SIX STRIPS OF BACON, THAT'S BACON IN EVERY BITE! This is
truly ridiculous. I liked Barrett appealing to Heyman's business side to
avoid facing Axel tonight. Goddammit, Miz is out with a mic. Miz took
this Hardee's-presented match as a chance to plug Starbucks and make
jokes with a lisp before breaking into a Homer-esque FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.
It is absolutely impossible to like Miz's character. They talked about
how great it would for Axel to win the IC Title on father's day. AWESOME
story there. Shame they're telling it when he's a heel. Axel won with
the not-McGullicutter, before getting hit with the Finale from behind.
Barrett came off as such a jobber there. DID YOU KNOW THE WWE UNIVERSE
REFERRED TO THE WYATT FAMILY AS UNSETTLING!? Another great Wyatt vid
aired. They're coming - time to run from the eater of worlds. The videos
rule, but having Cole do his forced bullshit hurts the build. YAY
SHIELD IS OUT TO BE AWESOME! A very cute brunette jumped up and down
when Ambrose was in front of her. GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THIS MATCH IS
BROUGHT TO US BY HARDEE'S. Fucking hell.
Babyfaces got no intro beyond the crowd yelling YES constantly. I'm fine
with that. Cole oddly talked about the "storyline of this match" and
JBL pointed out how it's the exact same each and every time. Nice dragon
sleeper from Ambrose led to knees to the face as a counter. Babyfaces
in peril lead to an a break. An outstanding Punk-Jericho video aired that made it seem truly epic - it was aided quite a bit by lacking any logos on it. JBL oddly talked about the Shield breaking Team Hell No up...as they were in a match with them. Cole hyped up the Shield taking out the Rock, while JBL brought up Taker not being seen since they destroyed him.
Sideslam from Kane got a 2 - as noted by a fan with a giant 2 sign. Bryan got the tag and beat the fuck out of everyone. Double dive onto the champs, then he dropkicked Rollins TWICE in the corner - once standing and the other with him against the middle ropes. MMA elbows prevented Ambrose from knocking Bryan off the top, where his diving headbutt missed. Bryan appears to have a scar on his chest now. RKO countered into the Reigns spear. Spear to Kane on the floor led to him getting chucked into the timekeeper's area where Ambrose was chokeslammed into. Then Rollins dove into an RKO>No Lock. This wasn't the Shield's best match, but holy crap did it ever come off like a big deal that the Shield lost. Every secondary title match that they're involved in feels like a main event level match with major importance, which is more than I can really say for the WWE Title match right now. Bryan is easily the hottest act in the company and the best in-ring babyface they've had since HBK retired.
Screens -
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/48f684260411300][IMG]http://thumbnails105.imagebam.com/26042/48f684260411300.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/904636260411520][IMG]http://thumbnails106.imagebam.com/26042/904636260411520.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/1ffbe3260413548][IMG]http://thumbnails102.imagebam.com/26042/1ffbe3260413548.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/7czbfa4wjcasxw77ej19xyx0c0sw05g7
Friday, June 14, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
TNA Impact 6-13-13
I love catching the last few minutes of World's Wildest Police Chases
just for the INCREDIBLE INDIGNATION the narrator has towards criminals.
Last week, MOVIE STAR AND MMA ICON made his debut. Well, given what
Spike's paying him, I can't blame them for treating him like the Rock.
Also, it's the BFG series selection show and Bully's balls and Hardy's
back got destroyed in last week's ladder match. Brooke also saved her
hubby from being de-brained by Hogan. Speaking of which, Hulk Hogan is
once again out to start the show instead of say, the MMA ICON AND MOVIE
STAR. Hogan is really moving around well all things considered. Must be
all the painkillers he's on for his hand. An act of God prevented Hogan
from DROPPING THE HAMMER DOWN AND CHOPPING BULLY DOWN WITH THE EDGE OF
HIS HAND. Tremendous. Superman is also in the BFG series, or Hernandez.
Something about the last two winners of the series getting a bye, and
Hardy also winning BFG...what? Taz is confused too, but yeah, he's
giving Hardy a break here. Hogan's promo was far better than Hardy's. I
like Hogan wearing red and yellow while Hardy's in neon yellow and red -
good color combos on-screen. Hardy's earrings and shoes also match his
shirt. Next week is OFN, and Hogan said FANS CAN TWITTER TO DO THE FIRST
CALL-OUT between Hardy and Roode. Roode threatened to kick Hardy's ass,
and Hardy wanted that now...that was meant to be intense but was just
funny.
Thank the lord above, Bully is out to make some sense of things. I love Bully calling Hogan daddio. Not sure why Bully is confused about an Ace not being in the series - HOGAN HATES YOU FUCKERS, and...is perfectly willing to give them a shot as long as they fight amongst themselves in a battle royal. Well, at least it wasn't a reverse battle royal and makes some sense since it will cause dissension in the group. Oh yeah, AJ-Angle is happening tonight - sweet. Storm and Gunenr face Bad Influence for TWO SPOTS in the series next. Gunner's beard frightens the elderly, BUT NOT BAD INFLUENCE! Daniels is playing piano and being awesome. It is impossible to not boogie to their theme, or enjoy the DANIELS IS MY HERO - SO IS KAZ signs behind them. Tenay brought back MISTER INTENSITY for Gunner. Needs to not do that again. Love Storm spinning the bottle in the air and still grabbing it rightside-up. Taz is discussing protein shakes here before a BFG series qualifier. At least he's not singing. TREMENDOUS snap fallaway slam from Gunner. Almost reminded me of Scott Steiner's backflipping version, only not quite that cool. That move really should be in a video game at some point. Super-fast 2 count from the wacky shoe ref against Gunner. Nice flying neckbreaker from Storm, and even with him in the ring, the fans are chanting for Gunner, who hit a headbutt that dazed him. I love that little touch. Loved the back stabber after shoving Daniels into Kaz. Tag belt shot from Kaz led to Storm being small packaged and pinned. Really good match with a finish that leads to a logical shot at the tag titles...which were then buried by Taz as meaning less THAN HAVING A CHANCE to get a guaranteed world title shot. Crimson was a dick to a cameraman who asked what he was doing here. It's been an entire year since he's been on TV. Wow.
Velvet Sky's cleavage has an envelope for Mickie. Crimson is out in what can only be described as cammo booty shorts for his gear in a BFG series match. Why is a guy who hasn't been on TV in a year able to vie for a title shot? And he's facing Joseph Park...WHY IS HE ABLE TO GET A POSSIBLE TITLE SHOT!? This should be wacky and fun even if the logistics of it make no sense. Crimson looks like a jacked-up version of Big Pete. Crimson kicked his ass, but got impatient waiting for him to get into position for a spear and hit the buckles and lost via schoolboy. Mickie talked to herself in the mirror and in the third-person. This gimmick rules.
Velvet came out, sadly in pants instead of her regular gear to make an announcement. Velvet's acting. Was terrible. Maybe she graduated from the Stephanie McMahon school of acting. Taz theorized that there could be a watch or bracelet inside this shapeless manilla envelope. Dr. Fabian Kaylin cleared her, but Mickie didn't believe it and said it looked like her knee was still hurt...due to her attacking it. Glorious attack, and it led to a slew of upskirts as Mickie wore panties underneath a see-through dress. Matt Morgan talked to the camera guy in his shiny gold undies. Sting couldn't pin him or make him submit, or make people care about Matt Morgan.
Morgan came out for a 4-way with Magnus, King, and Big Rob. Sad to see Magnus just be a dude in this unhyped match after being called a big deal not too long ago. Matt Morgan is about as red as an apple. Morgan and Terry did '80s big guy spots, leading to a WE WANT MAGNUS chant. King thew himself into orbit for a Rob Terry flapjack. Magnus' new long tights look great. Outstanding powerslam catch into a brainbuster on King from Magnus. Flying elbow would've gotten the win if Morgan hadn't broken it up. Parade of finishers led to Morgan being low-bridged and Magnus winning with a Michinoku driver - so glad he won this. Sting talks next in the big top of the hour segment.
EY shilled his show, and he's going to try to get into the BFG series against Aries. And then they hyped up Rampage with an amazing video. He came off like the icon they portrayed him as at the start of the show. The same Sting-Bully recap vid from after the PPV aired. Sting sauntered out in black and blue gear with his black and red shirt. Loved Sting using the word DECEPTION in his promo since it reminded me of his RVD promo with that written on the belt...on tape. Sting is pissed at there being no one else to help him, BUT HE DOESN'T MIND! And he needs his own family...A NEW MAIN EVENT MAFIA. Sting cut yet another great promo here and really made the MEM seem like a big deal. The Main Event Mafia name is also pretty damned awesome too. Naturally, after a Sting promo, Spike runs an Enzyte ad.
Replay of Sting's promo promising the end of the Aces at the hands of the MEM. ODB came out with EY, who was constantly having his ass smacked. They also plugged his show a ton and showed clips including one with EY being star-struck at ODB, FROM SPIKE TV'S IMPACT WRESTLING. This was cute. She referred to them being KOs champs, them not defending them, and her still wanting some damned fried chicken. EY's blue and yellow gear looks good and I like him impersonating Aries' wacky mannerisms. TNA will be in Louisville on 7-18, which means there's an Impact show on my birthday - sweet. They broke up wrestling with EY taking ODB down after an ass-slap and riding her. In theory, Aries being in a comedy match shouldn't work since he's a semi-main event act, but he's silly enough at times to make this work just fine. Tenay was baffled by Taz's comparison of EY's beard to Cheez Whiz. EY is working his ass off here, while Aries did a Flair flip over the ropes, got knocked off the apron and planchad by EY. This is greatly exceeding my expectations. Aries crotched EY to ODB's displeasure, knocked his beard off with the corner dropkick and dropped him with the brainbuster. This was outstanding stuff. The Aces met in their arena lair, and Doc is resistant to just throwing it. And then he belched at Devon. Well, that was different.
Sabin cut a decent promo about how he might've been able to be X champ last year and cash in the title for a world title shot, and now, he isn't so sure if he'd do that. Garett's designer stubble really adds to his douchey look. DOC and Morgan appear to tan at the same part of the sun. Anderson Hogan YOU'D Wes and Garett out of the ring. Deadly fingerpoke took Knux out with a really impressive backflip bump to the floor. Anderson asked Devon to get the tables, AND BY GOLLY, IT SENT HIM OVER THE TOP. This is both ridiculous, and yet awesome since everything largely ties into the gimmicks of guys whenever possible. Seems a bit like a farce with the fans chanting this is awesome, and it kills the idea of them being badass bikers. Doc refused to just step over, so at least they're FINALLY doing something to set him apart from the pack. He hit a big flurry, and got a decent pop for it, so of course a simple knee to the gut was enough. Other than it just taking one fluke move to eliminate him, I dug the idea of this. Rampage and Angle met and cleared the air - Angle didn't mean any disrespect saying "when he's ready", and he wants him to do well in his Bellator debut, much like how Rampage wants him to do well against AJ. Good simple stuff here.
Turns out the Aces drew cards to determine that deal, and while Bully isn't happy with what happened, he understands Doc wanting to step up. Doc offered to make up for tonight's deal by taking out AJ tonight. They re-replayed the Sting deal - really putting that over as a huge deal without taking up much time. Take notes, WWE. Next week, THE FANS GET TO DETERMINE THE FIRST CALL-OUT, and I guess that means they get to grab a mic and talk. That seems like a really stupid thing to vote on, but at least it ensures a show-opening promo that doesn't involve Hulk Hogan. AJ's new theme is outstanding. I really liked Taz saying that while he's upset about AJ turning down the club, as a wrestling fan, he's still excited to see this match.
The traditional post-break chinlock brought the match back to AJ's advantage. Angle got dropkicked into the announce table, which looks terrible. Overhead belly to belly on the floor from Angle. AJ's look of agony from that ruled. Loved Taz talking about Angle winning an Olympic gold medal in Atlanta in '96. Dug the fans chanting during the triple German suplexes. Angle slam countered into a sick DDT. I'm enjoying this way more than the PPV match, and that could just be due to me digging the build for this (largely Angle-Rampage) more than the AJ-Angle stuff before, and Angle feeling like a bigger deal after the HOF and with the Rampage thing going on. Calf killer was countered into the ankle lock, which could've killed that move if it wasn't Angle countering it. Big TNA chant broke out. The run-up superplex was changed up into a run-up belly to back WITH AJ LANDING ON HIS FEET PERFECTLY. And then he did a DDT into the corner, sold as into the buckle but really just in the mat. Doc and Knux came out and tried to cost AJ the match, but it wound up giving him the win via fluke schoolboy. Other than that being done earlier by JOSEPH FREAKING PARK, this is fine. Rampage made the save for Angle by walking around and swinging the chain wildly. This was quite great and built to the future really well.
Screens -
Full Gallery
Thank the lord above, Bully is out to make some sense of things. I love Bully calling Hogan daddio. Not sure why Bully is confused about an Ace not being in the series - HOGAN HATES YOU FUCKERS, and...is perfectly willing to give them a shot as long as they fight amongst themselves in a battle royal. Well, at least it wasn't a reverse battle royal and makes some sense since it will cause dissension in the group. Oh yeah, AJ-Angle is happening tonight - sweet. Storm and Gunenr face Bad Influence for TWO SPOTS in the series next. Gunner's beard frightens the elderly, BUT NOT BAD INFLUENCE! Daniels is playing piano and being awesome. It is impossible to not boogie to their theme, or enjoy the DANIELS IS MY HERO - SO IS KAZ signs behind them. Tenay brought back MISTER INTENSITY for Gunner. Needs to not do that again. Love Storm spinning the bottle in the air and still grabbing it rightside-up. Taz is discussing protein shakes here before a BFG series qualifier. At least he's not singing. TREMENDOUS snap fallaway slam from Gunner. Almost reminded me of Scott Steiner's backflipping version, only not quite that cool. That move really should be in a video game at some point. Super-fast 2 count from the wacky shoe ref against Gunner. Nice flying neckbreaker from Storm, and even with him in the ring, the fans are chanting for Gunner, who hit a headbutt that dazed him. I love that little touch. Loved the back stabber after shoving Daniels into Kaz. Tag belt shot from Kaz led to Storm being small packaged and pinned. Really good match with a finish that leads to a logical shot at the tag titles...which were then buried by Taz as meaning less THAN HAVING A CHANCE to get a guaranteed world title shot. Crimson was a dick to a cameraman who asked what he was doing here. It's been an entire year since he's been on TV. Wow.
Velvet Sky's cleavage has an envelope for Mickie. Crimson is out in what can only be described as cammo booty shorts for his gear in a BFG series match. Why is a guy who hasn't been on TV in a year able to vie for a title shot? And he's facing Joseph Park...WHY IS HE ABLE TO GET A POSSIBLE TITLE SHOT!? This should be wacky and fun even if the logistics of it make no sense. Crimson looks like a jacked-up version of Big Pete. Crimson kicked his ass, but got impatient waiting for him to get into position for a spear and hit the buckles and lost via schoolboy. Mickie talked to herself in the mirror and in the third-person. This gimmick rules.
Velvet came out, sadly in pants instead of her regular gear to make an announcement. Velvet's acting. Was terrible. Maybe she graduated from the Stephanie McMahon school of acting. Taz theorized that there could be a watch or bracelet inside this shapeless manilla envelope. Dr. Fabian Kaylin cleared her, but Mickie didn't believe it and said it looked like her knee was still hurt...due to her attacking it. Glorious attack, and it led to a slew of upskirts as Mickie wore panties underneath a see-through dress. Matt Morgan talked to the camera guy in his shiny gold undies. Sting couldn't pin him or make him submit, or make people care about Matt Morgan.
Morgan came out for a 4-way with Magnus, King, and Big Rob. Sad to see Magnus just be a dude in this unhyped match after being called a big deal not too long ago. Matt Morgan is about as red as an apple. Morgan and Terry did '80s big guy spots, leading to a WE WANT MAGNUS chant. King thew himself into orbit for a Rob Terry flapjack. Magnus' new long tights look great. Outstanding powerslam catch into a brainbuster on King from Magnus. Flying elbow would've gotten the win if Morgan hadn't broken it up. Parade of finishers led to Morgan being low-bridged and Magnus winning with a Michinoku driver - so glad he won this. Sting talks next in the big top of the hour segment.
EY shilled his show, and he's going to try to get into the BFG series against Aries. And then they hyped up Rampage with an amazing video. He came off like the icon they portrayed him as at the start of the show. The same Sting-Bully recap vid from after the PPV aired. Sting sauntered out in black and blue gear with his black and red shirt. Loved Sting using the word DECEPTION in his promo since it reminded me of his RVD promo with that written on the belt...on tape. Sting is pissed at there being no one else to help him, BUT HE DOESN'T MIND! And he needs his own family...A NEW MAIN EVENT MAFIA. Sting cut yet another great promo here and really made the MEM seem like a big deal. The Main Event Mafia name is also pretty damned awesome too. Naturally, after a Sting promo, Spike runs an Enzyte ad.
Replay of Sting's promo promising the end of the Aces at the hands of the MEM. ODB came out with EY, who was constantly having his ass smacked. They also plugged his show a ton and showed clips including one with EY being star-struck at ODB, FROM SPIKE TV'S IMPACT WRESTLING. This was cute. She referred to them being KOs champs, them not defending them, and her still wanting some damned fried chicken. EY's blue and yellow gear looks good and I like him impersonating Aries' wacky mannerisms. TNA will be in Louisville on 7-18, which means there's an Impact show on my birthday - sweet. They broke up wrestling with EY taking ODB down after an ass-slap and riding her. In theory, Aries being in a comedy match shouldn't work since he's a semi-main event act, but he's silly enough at times to make this work just fine. Tenay was baffled by Taz's comparison of EY's beard to Cheez Whiz. EY is working his ass off here, while Aries did a Flair flip over the ropes, got knocked off the apron and planchad by EY. This is greatly exceeding my expectations. Aries crotched EY to ODB's displeasure, knocked his beard off with the corner dropkick and dropped him with the brainbuster. This was outstanding stuff. The Aces met in their arena lair, and Doc is resistant to just throwing it. And then he belched at Devon. Well, that was different.
Sabin cut a decent promo about how he might've been able to be X champ last year and cash in the title for a world title shot, and now, he isn't so sure if he'd do that. Garett's designer stubble really adds to his douchey look. DOC and Morgan appear to tan at the same part of the sun. Anderson Hogan YOU'D Wes and Garett out of the ring. Deadly fingerpoke took Knux out with a really impressive backflip bump to the floor. Anderson asked Devon to get the tables, AND BY GOLLY, IT SENT HIM OVER THE TOP. This is both ridiculous, and yet awesome since everything largely ties into the gimmicks of guys whenever possible. Seems a bit like a farce with the fans chanting this is awesome, and it kills the idea of them being badass bikers. Doc refused to just step over, so at least they're FINALLY doing something to set him apart from the pack. He hit a big flurry, and got a decent pop for it, so of course a simple knee to the gut was enough. Other than it just taking one fluke move to eliminate him, I dug the idea of this. Rampage and Angle met and cleared the air - Angle didn't mean any disrespect saying "when he's ready", and he wants him to do well in his Bellator debut, much like how Rampage wants him to do well against AJ. Good simple stuff here.
Turns out the Aces drew cards to determine that deal, and while Bully isn't happy with what happened, he understands Doc wanting to step up. Doc offered to make up for tonight's deal by taking out AJ tonight. They re-replayed the Sting deal - really putting that over as a huge deal without taking up much time. Take notes, WWE. Next week, THE FANS GET TO DETERMINE THE FIRST CALL-OUT, and I guess that means they get to grab a mic and talk. That seems like a really stupid thing to vote on, but at least it ensures a show-opening promo that doesn't involve Hulk Hogan. AJ's new theme is outstanding. I really liked Taz saying that while he's upset about AJ turning down the club, as a wrestling fan, he's still excited to see this match.
The traditional post-break chinlock brought the match back to AJ's advantage. Angle got dropkicked into the announce table, which looks terrible. Overhead belly to belly on the floor from Angle. AJ's look of agony from that ruled. Loved Taz talking about Angle winning an Olympic gold medal in Atlanta in '96. Dug the fans chanting during the triple German suplexes. Angle slam countered into a sick DDT. I'm enjoying this way more than the PPV match, and that could just be due to me digging the build for this (largely Angle-Rampage) more than the AJ-Angle stuff before, and Angle feeling like a bigger deal after the HOF and with the Rampage thing going on. Calf killer was countered into the ankle lock, which could've killed that move if it wasn't Angle countering it. Big TNA chant broke out. The run-up superplex was changed up into a run-up belly to back WITH AJ LANDING ON HIS FEET PERFECTLY. And then he did a DDT into the corner, sold as into the buckle but really just in the mat. Doc and Knux came out and tried to cost AJ the match, but it wound up giving him the win via fluke schoolboy. Other than that being done earlier by JOSEPH FREAKING PARK, this is fine. Rampage made the save for Angle by walking around and swinging the chain wildly. This was quite great and built to the future really well.
Screens -
Full Gallery
Monday, June 10, 2013
Raw 6-10-13
Good lord, it's now 10:55 and they've doing a Ryback Rampage video as well. This show will just never end. Bunch of geeks came out to further the Ryback-Cena deal while Cole talked about Vince and HHH still being in the building. It's 11 and there are still two angles to go. On the upside, they involve Ryback and Steph talking, so they should at least be amusing. Vince and HHH had their wacky meeting - VINCE WAS ALL UP IN HIS STUFF! And Christ can Steph yell. She must break glass during an orgasm. Vince wants more out of HHH than a match with Axel - kid's good, BUT NOT THAT GOOD. So he then gives him a match with Axel, and HHH doesn't want it, but now Vince wants it. Now that Axel's in the IC Title picture, HHH doesn't want to face him. Steph wants a hug, they did an angry group hug and this was basically a longer version of that "I LOVE YOU, POPS!" deal. They've done a marvelous job of cutting HHH's balls off over the past couple of years and this kept that trend going.
Cena came out for the deal, and then Ryback came out IN HIS PERSONAL AMBULANCE that he needs for kicking ass. I really wish they'd just have had Ryback win a straight-up ambulance match since it's a great gimmick for him and separates him from Goldberg. They should've kept going with it after the Maddox deal where it started. Cena then insulted Ryback for being a moron while Ryback said he deserved to be WWE Champion, which was hilarious. Then Cena had "jokes". He also said that Ryback was just making excuses for his failures - which is true. He's failed a lot. Cena went way too far with him leaving as WWE Champion, so I think they may actually do a title change. EIGHT MONTHS AGO, CENA GAVE HIM HIS SPOT, BUT IN 6 DAYS, RYBACK TAKES HIS SPOT. It's 11:12 and all of this wackiness was done to just set up that line. Oh, and Payback will be a bitch too. Also, Ryback charged Cena but got low-bridged - looking like an idiot before a big wacky brawl broke out.
Screens -
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/e3a022259657781][IMG]http://thumbnails106.imagebam.com/25966/e3a022259657781.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/ed1ecd259662398][IMG]http://thumbnails104.imagebam.com/25967/ed1ecd259662398.jpg[/IMG]
[/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/e9fe82259678379][IMG]http://thumbnails106.imagebam.com/25968/e9fe82259678379.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/vobo3vv0zs6qo18w9rwc8ucn3c2vmu7h
Friday, June 7, 2013
SD 6-7-13
"Jackass" is now something that needs to be muted in video packages. Wow. Nice emphasis on the Shield match from Raw, although once again, things from last week's SD aren't played up as important even on SD. Miz's ALWAYS CONTROVERSIAL TALK SHOW starts the show. Miz looks like he should play the Grinch. They had Miz say the Shield has never been beaten in a 6-man tag, so despite them bringing up the loss to Cena on Raw by DQ, it now no longer exists. Orton, THE STAR OF THE ACTION-PACKED 12 ROUNDS RELOADED, AVAILABLE NOW, came out. Sadly, he didn't just start things by RKOing Miz. Bryan cut a nice heartfelt promo and then Miz talked about Bryan's beatdown of the Shield on SD. And then he called him a goatfaced vegan troll. KICK HIM PLEASE! Then Orton talked about them being in crazy town and Miz played dimestore shrink for a little while. Kane as the voice of reason and Bryan as the crazy guy ruled, everything else was just tiresome. Especially Miz, whose REALLY, REALLY!? bit sucks. Teddy came out after this to (hopefully) make some sort of holla holla tag match. He'll team with Orton against the tag champs, and Teddy is in a boss vertically-striped white suit. Axel-Jericho is up next instead of a top of the hour main event match. Ouch.
WWE DVDs are sports again since they've got 7 of the top 10 spots. Heyman came out and talked about Axel getting two victories in a row over Cena, which begs the question of why isn't he getting a PPV title shot instead of Ryback, who did NOT beat Cena during their last match and lost his prior PPV match. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. HEYMAN IS ON COMMENTARY! YAY! Heyman brought up Axel's method of victory not mattering because when Mayweather wins, it doesn't matter if it's by KO or decision. It does matter if you're Jon Fitch though. Draping neckbreaker is something new from Axel. Chinlock led to the break. Nice back and forth match - easily the best showcase for Axel yet since it was against a major guy and he was the focal point. Walls made Heyman panic. Axel won with a fluke cradle after a Punk fakeout from Heyman. So why even have Axel win then? The replay showed Axel winning via distraction cradle...so he got a Hurricane-level win over Rock here.
Alberto's out to face Heath for some ungodly reason, but he taps him without a match happening. Ricardo did a wacky dive onto 3MB leading to JBL saying he never saw Bruce Buffer do that. I'm sure Bruce Buffer invented that move. Probably saved Jon Jones' life with it a few times too. Kane and Ryback had a meeting of two big dudes in black and red acting badly. Kane's wacky reaction to "Ryback rules" was great.
Ryback-Kane was a match. Ryback lost via powerbomb through a table, which was impressive and a video on his rampage is up next. Recap of last week's glorious Sandow-Sheamus deal - HE'S A MAGICIAN, THERE IS NO END TO HIS TALENTS! Mr. Sandow has bested Sheamus for weeks due to his brilliance AND NO MAN CAN EQUAL HIS BRILLIANCE! Also, the Nassau Community College grads here are merely checker minds in a chess world! Mr. Sandow will take on Deep Blue. Damned computer is entirely too talkative, resulting it it needing to be silenced by Mr. Sandow. Sheamus, the hooligan, prevented him from even playing with the computer. Sheamus, wearing a giant BROGUE KICK shirt, feels he can beat the computer with one move. I love this kind of predictability. JBL's mind was boggled by Sheamus bringing up Atari. After he kicked the computer, Sandow was forced to use his mic on him to prevent further damage to technology. He also bonked his back against the table a bunch. Sandow came off like a threat here for the first time in ages. Orton met with Bryan to exposit about Kane being injured by Ryback. I find it impossible to believe that this man is a lead in an action movie.
OH SWEET JESUS THE MIZ IS ON COMMENTARY. And he instantly makes the Wyatt Family seem slightly less amazing. Fandango's out with Summer Rae - the new pink and black attack. Looking forward to seeing Fandango win some gold at the PPV. Miz got on Lilian for not saying Fandango's name correctly, then screwed it up himself. Ryder's out to get killed by the dancer in his hometown. Poor fucker. And Miz is rattling off my DID YOU KNOW FACTS about the IC Title. I did love his line about making Fandango taste the rainbow. Powerbomb counter to the Rough Ryder looked vicious, and legdrop got the win. It feels like a step back to have him emphasize the name bit again - he should be past that now and they should just say it properly. Apparently the Ryback rampage deal is up next, instead of before - should be fun. Total Divas trailer is amazing with all the silly sound effects added to moves.
They gave Meredith Whitney's book a full graphic plug - that's a bit surprising. The Ryback beatdown vid had some cool video filters on it. Cena's neon green/yellow shoes on Raw really made the video seem a bit ridiculous given that Ryback's yelling about being Satan. Only pins and submissions in the lumberjack match - so I guess this won't end on a countout like an Abrams-booked one. Nattie met with Kaitlyn's enormous tits backstage to discuss her stalker next to a Joker-colored box. Kaitlyn was offended by Nattie implying that the guy could be a creep, which of course naturally led to the Shield coming out to kick ass. Good God were Kaitlyn's tits on display. Very un-PG getup. Orton and Bryan are coming out after the break.
Nice hype vid for Dolph - they're basically building the show around his return after his promo earlier. Orton did his pose and Bryan got a huge pop coming out. I loved JBL as the only sane man talking about how obvious it was MizTV would fall apart with a guy who hears voices, a guy with an inferiority complex, and a monster out there. JBL talking about Bryan already being nutty for being a vegan with a dog named Asparagus was fairly valid. Reigns' Superman punch and Rollins enzuigiri were shown ON THE APP. Reigns nearly got hurt doing that weeks ago, it's a major part of his offense, and it's relegated to the app. I love the hot tag cam that is just used for Bryan's tags. Rollins got taken out with a clothesline, but he still did all he could to hold onto Orton. Hot tag led to the flying dropkick a new spot - double chest kicks, a duck under for a buzzsaw on one side, so he did it on the other. EXCELLENT addition to things. Tremendous plancha - Bryan's comebacks are easily the hottest parts of WWE TV now. Diving headbutt got a two. Accidental giant corner dropkick was ducked leading to Orton getting hit, while Ambrose's interference prevented a tap for the No Lock. Wild ground and pound from Ambrose there. Orton RKO'd Bryan and it felt less like a heel turn and more like him being a dick - about a .5 on the Sheamus scale.
Screens -
I GOT A PIN! I GOT A PIN!
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/049d87259033122][IMG]http://thumbnails106.imagebam.com/25904/049d87259033122.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/088fbb259033079][IMG]http://thumbnails103.imagebam.com/25904/088fbb259033079.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/aabf31259035429][IMG]http://thumbnails103.imagebam.com/25904/aabf31259035429.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/w2ar87xopn37icsew0i75co61p9as8mp
WWE DVDs are sports again since they've got 7 of the top 10 spots. Heyman came out and talked about Axel getting two victories in a row over Cena, which begs the question of why isn't he getting a PPV title shot instead of Ryback, who did NOT beat Cena during their last match and lost his prior PPV match. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. HEYMAN IS ON COMMENTARY! YAY! Heyman brought up Axel's method of victory not mattering because when Mayweather wins, it doesn't matter if it's by KO or decision. It does matter if you're Jon Fitch though. Draping neckbreaker is something new from Axel. Chinlock led to the break. Nice back and forth match - easily the best showcase for Axel yet since it was against a major guy and he was the focal point. Walls made Heyman panic. Axel won with a fluke cradle after a Punk fakeout from Heyman. So why even have Axel win then? The replay showed Axel winning via distraction cradle...so he got a Hurricane-level win over Rock here.
Alberto's out to face Heath for some ungodly reason, but he taps him without a match happening. Ricardo did a wacky dive onto 3MB leading to JBL saying he never saw Bruce Buffer do that. I'm sure Bruce Buffer invented that move. Probably saved Jon Jones' life with it a few times too. Kane and Ryback had a meeting of two big dudes in black and red acting badly. Kane's wacky reaction to "Ryback rules" was great.
Ryback-Kane was a match. Ryback lost via powerbomb through a table, which was impressive and a video on his rampage is up next. Recap of last week's glorious Sandow-Sheamus deal - HE'S A MAGICIAN, THERE IS NO END TO HIS TALENTS! Mr. Sandow has bested Sheamus for weeks due to his brilliance AND NO MAN CAN EQUAL HIS BRILLIANCE! Also, the Nassau Community College grads here are merely checker minds in a chess world! Mr. Sandow will take on Deep Blue. Damned computer is entirely too talkative, resulting it it needing to be silenced by Mr. Sandow. Sheamus, the hooligan, prevented him from even playing with the computer. Sheamus, wearing a giant BROGUE KICK shirt, feels he can beat the computer with one move. I love this kind of predictability. JBL's mind was boggled by Sheamus bringing up Atari. After he kicked the computer, Sandow was forced to use his mic on him to prevent further damage to technology. He also bonked his back against the table a bunch. Sandow came off like a threat here for the first time in ages. Orton met with Bryan to exposit about Kane being injured by Ryback. I find it impossible to believe that this man is a lead in an action movie.
OH SWEET JESUS THE MIZ IS ON COMMENTARY. And he instantly makes the Wyatt Family seem slightly less amazing. Fandango's out with Summer Rae - the new pink and black attack. Looking forward to seeing Fandango win some gold at the PPV. Miz got on Lilian for not saying Fandango's name correctly, then screwed it up himself. Ryder's out to get killed by the dancer in his hometown. Poor fucker. And Miz is rattling off my DID YOU KNOW FACTS about the IC Title. I did love his line about making Fandango taste the rainbow. Powerbomb counter to the Rough Ryder looked vicious, and legdrop got the win. It feels like a step back to have him emphasize the name bit again - he should be past that now and they should just say it properly. Apparently the Ryback rampage deal is up next, instead of before - should be fun. Total Divas trailer is amazing with all the silly sound effects added to moves.
They gave Meredith Whitney's book a full graphic plug - that's a bit surprising. The Ryback beatdown vid had some cool video filters on it. Cena's neon green/yellow shoes on Raw really made the video seem a bit ridiculous given that Ryback's yelling about being Satan. Only pins and submissions in the lumberjack match - so I guess this won't end on a countout like an Abrams-booked one. Nattie met with Kaitlyn's enormous tits backstage to discuss her stalker next to a Joker-colored box. Kaitlyn was offended by Nattie implying that the guy could be a creep, which of course naturally led to the Shield coming out to kick ass. Good God were Kaitlyn's tits on display. Very un-PG getup. Orton and Bryan are coming out after the break.
Nice hype vid for Dolph - they're basically building the show around his return after his promo earlier. Orton did his pose and Bryan got a huge pop coming out. I loved JBL as the only sane man talking about how obvious it was MizTV would fall apart with a guy who hears voices, a guy with an inferiority complex, and a monster out there. JBL talking about Bryan already being nutty for being a vegan with a dog named Asparagus was fairly valid. Reigns' Superman punch and Rollins enzuigiri were shown ON THE APP. Reigns nearly got hurt doing that weeks ago, it's a major part of his offense, and it's relegated to the app. I love the hot tag cam that is just used for Bryan's tags. Rollins got taken out with a clothesline, but he still did all he could to hold onto Orton. Hot tag led to the flying dropkick a new spot - double chest kicks, a duck under for a buzzsaw on one side, so he did it on the other. EXCELLENT addition to things. Tremendous plancha - Bryan's comebacks are easily the hottest parts of WWE TV now. Diving headbutt got a two. Accidental giant corner dropkick was ducked leading to Orton getting hit, while Ambrose's interference prevented a tap for the No Lock. Wild ground and pound from Ambrose there. Orton RKO'd Bryan and it felt less like a heel turn and more like him being a dick - about a .5 on the Sheamus scale.
Screens -
I GOT A PIN! I GOT A PIN!
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/049d87259033122][IMG]http://thumbnails106.imagebam.com/25904/049d87259033122.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/088fbb259033079][IMG]http://thumbnails103.imagebam.com/25904/088fbb259033079.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/aabf31259035429][IMG]http://thumbnails103.imagebam.com/25904/aabf31259035429.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/w2ar87xopn37icsew0i75co61p9as8mp
Thursday, June 6, 2013
TNA Impact 6-6-13
There's a chance of Hogan cutting a promo on gizmos plus Rampage being all batshit crazy. Should be great trainwreck TV. The PPV recap show made it seem like you missed an awesome show - and put over the KOs match nicely. Angle in the HOF also seemed like a big deal and it made you want to buy the show ASAP. Bully coming down and staring down a guy in a wheelchair with an Anvil beard was something. Bully brought up Sting being jumped at last year's Slammiversary by the Aces - something they should've mentioned before the show to make it seem a bigger deal. Bully said there were no more heroes, which led to Hogan coming out, getting some amazing cheap pops with "ATLANTA" and Bully demanding he not do it anymore. So he didn't, but instead made Bully-Hardy in a MONSTER LADDER MATCH! With a hammer hanging instead of a belt or case. Oh, and next week is the selection show for the BFG Series. Okay vid for the deal, and then Chavo called Hernandez "man" about a billion times in an annoying promo. Oh, and apparently they're each in the series despite the selection show happening next week.
Instead of shooting videos to hype up the ShopTNA site, they're now just showing T&A KO photos to do so. Turns out Chavo's facing Hernandez tonight to...get into the BFG selection deal or something. Follow Dixie on Twitter to find out about signings, or you can friend Brock on Facebook and see its handler post upcoming feud plans for him. Great face vs. face match here, as they just did holds and moves without trying to hurt - but focusing on a win. Hernandez missed his gorgeous belly flop splash, but Chavo hit a nice standing somersault senton I don't remember him using much. Chavo hit the amigos, but strangely, they didn't have him block the third and do his 20 minute delayed suplex. Instead, he just chucked him into the ropes, got countered and koppo kicked. Stacked cradle got the win for Supermex. This was Hernandez's best solo outing since his big push a few years back. Rampage walked backstage and who did he meet for his first on-screen TNA appearance? SIMON FUCKING DIAMOND. With a grey beard and pink shirt. Thankfully, GunStorm was there too.
AT THE TOP OF THE HOUR, Rampage will be live in the ring. Taz called Devon's title loss a travesty and misjustice. Devon's promos really haven't evolved a lick since '97. He's still doing the SHUT DA HELL UP bit. Joseph Park came out, and he's got a really fat ass. He did some hilarious ground and pound before getting massacred by Devon by golly. Park fiddled with his gear before going into the post. He came up with the fake mouth blood deal, but when Abyss's theme hit, they had Devon say HE'D GO FIND HIS ASS, BITCH! backstage. I can't wait to see that beating.
Christy's cleavage brought out Robbie, whose theme had the fans in the building (and me) pumping their fists to it. He came off huge here. Then he cut an awesome promo about being the MVP of the BFG tourney last year, beating Hardy and getting FIVE POINTS BRO. He might get 20,000 tonight. I bet not. New color scheme for Joe, with black and yellow making him look like a killer Samoan bee. Joe murderkilled him gloriously. VINTAGE JOE squash match here. They hyped up Rampage more and showed a bit of the Angle vid that will apparently be shown in full next.
They showed Gail kicking Velvet's leg out of her leg last week. Mickie said...something to Velvet that couldn't be heard because of terrible audio mixing. To make up for not helping her, Mickie got her a lotto scratcher. SHE COULD WIN $25,000! They should send Ion one of those so he could win $25,000. Tenay hyped up the PPV replay on TNAOnDemand and on PPV too. All of the '96 stuff for the Angle vid made his rapid aging even more apparent. Rampage is up in 6 minutes, so a long break is up. That part was underwhelming, but this felt like something important and TNA has badly needed that.
They replayed the Angle-Rampage deal, which they damn well should have since it's such a big deal. Bully and Ken met in the clubhouse...next to a staircase. Anderson wants to be VP. 1. Why wouldn't Bully just make Devon that, and why does being the VP of an imaginary biker gang matter? Roode's the one guy on his team that looks like a star since King largely looks like a prelim guy and Aries's gear looks like shit and he doesn't have his cape. Christy didn't fuck up Aries's name, but did "and Zoidberg" Sabin. Also, his belt's gold looks super-faded compared to the tag gold. Really good stuff here, although I could do without Roode and Aries doing the slingshot>wacky hopping elbow double team due to Aries doing a few wacky things that shouldn't be done when the idea is a move needs to be done with urgency. Tenay called Gunner Mr. Intensity, which sounds awful. I much prefer Taz's "pitbull" moniker. Sabin and Aries did some stuff, so maybe Aries will be Sabin's opponent at the Destination X show. Sabin pinned King here with the All Hail Sabin, so that appears to be all done. Mickie was backstage in super-short shorts bragging to unseen people about being champ - her match is next.
But first, Knux and Devon went into a wacky dark room. Then they showed an epic replay video of the KOs match that showcased every big spot in it. Taryn talked with Booke's giant boobs and giant red lips about wanting a title shot. And oh, she may or may not be in love with Bully still. Mickie came out for her match with Hendrix, who's got some great gear. I love Mickie's giant fake clapping deal. She's added in a GIANT THUMBS UP too. I loved Taz saying if Brooke Hogan put you in a headlock, she'd smother you. Taeler got a giant Yes chant that Taz took credit for. Mickie suffered an injury out of nowhere, but it luckily healed itself in mere seconds before a hook kick win. Knux and Devon's search led to a wacky silhouette attack.
Replay of the Bully-Sting vid from earlier led to Sting's tweeting about "being alone", so he gets to be emo again. Next week, Angle-AJ happens again and Bad Influence faces the tag champs in a tag team BFG series match. Another replay of the Rampage-Angle deal. Hardy's out for the ladder match, which will be getting maybe 15 minutes here. Hardy jumped Bully while he was chatting with Taz. Hardy's showing a ton of fire here - I dig him doing this wacky pose...could've done without the air humping, before a lariat off the apron. Great spot there. Bully regained control by smacking Hardy's leg into the apron before a break.
They came back with Bully dropping some big headbutts to Jeff's chest in the corner. According to Taz, "Hardy has heart, BUT BULLY'S GONNA RIP IT OUT AND EAT IT. RIGHT HERE ON SPIKE!". That'd be something. Bully screaming "I DON'T NEED A HAMMER" before Taz said "or a mic" ruled. This led to an earcup and giant "HI DAD" handwave. This was ruling fine until Bully had to do a hop over the ladder to set up the ladder being kicked into his nuts. This led to a great "MY BALLS!" bellow from the champ. Bully won, but Hardy got the hammer after a twist and then collapsed on the ramp. Bully hobbled to the back where Hogan planned to de-brain him with a hammer before Brooke yelled no and Bully scurried away again. This was indeed something.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/miwiakn3gpx088hqknjxyhfhqr4yer70
Instead of shooting videos to hype up the ShopTNA site, they're now just showing T&A KO photos to do so. Turns out Chavo's facing Hernandez tonight to...get into the BFG selection deal or something. Follow Dixie on Twitter to find out about signings, or you can friend Brock on Facebook and see its handler post upcoming feud plans for him. Great face vs. face match here, as they just did holds and moves without trying to hurt - but focusing on a win. Hernandez missed his gorgeous belly flop splash, but Chavo hit a nice standing somersault senton I don't remember him using much. Chavo hit the amigos, but strangely, they didn't have him block the third and do his 20 minute delayed suplex. Instead, he just chucked him into the ropes, got countered and koppo kicked. Stacked cradle got the win for Supermex. This was Hernandez's best solo outing since his big push a few years back. Rampage walked backstage and who did he meet for his first on-screen TNA appearance? SIMON FUCKING DIAMOND. With a grey beard and pink shirt. Thankfully, GunStorm was there too.
AT THE TOP OF THE HOUR, Rampage will be live in the ring. Taz called Devon's title loss a travesty and misjustice. Devon's promos really haven't evolved a lick since '97. He's still doing the SHUT DA HELL UP bit. Joseph Park came out, and he's got a really fat ass. He did some hilarious ground and pound before getting massacred by Devon by golly. Park fiddled with his gear before going into the post. He came up with the fake mouth blood deal, but when Abyss's theme hit, they had Devon say HE'D GO FIND HIS ASS, BITCH! backstage. I can't wait to see that beating.
Christy's cleavage brought out Robbie, whose theme had the fans in the building (and me) pumping their fists to it. He came off huge here. Then he cut an awesome promo about being the MVP of the BFG tourney last year, beating Hardy and getting FIVE POINTS BRO. He might get 20,000 tonight. I bet not. New color scheme for Joe, with black and yellow making him look like a killer Samoan bee. Joe murderkilled him gloriously. VINTAGE JOE squash match here. They hyped up Rampage more and showed a bit of the Angle vid that will apparently be shown in full next.
They showed Gail kicking Velvet's leg out of her leg last week. Mickie said...something to Velvet that couldn't be heard because of terrible audio mixing. To make up for not helping her, Mickie got her a lotto scratcher. SHE COULD WIN $25,000! They should send Ion one of those so he could win $25,000. Tenay hyped up the PPV replay on TNAOnDemand and on PPV too. All of the '96 stuff for the Angle vid made his rapid aging even more apparent. Rampage is up in 6 minutes, so a long break is up. That part was underwhelming, but this felt like something important and TNA has badly needed that.
They replayed the Angle-Rampage deal, which they damn well should have since it's such a big deal. Bully and Ken met in the clubhouse...next to a staircase. Anderson wants to be VP. 1. Why wouldn't Bully just make Devon that, and why does being the VP of an imaginary biker gang matter? Roode's the one guy on his team that looks like a star since King largely looks like a prelim guy and Aries's gear looks like shit and he doesn't have his cape. Christy didn't fuck up Aries's name, but did "and Zoidberg" Sabin. Also, his belt's gold looks super-faded compared to the tag gold. Really good stuff here, although I could do without Roode and Aries doing the slingshot>wacky hopping elbow double team due to Aries doing a few wacky things that shouldn't be done when the idea is a move needs to be done with urgency. Tenay called Gunner Mr. Intensity, which sounds awful. I much prefer Taz's "pitbull" moniker. Sabin and Aries did some stuff, so maybe Aries will be Sabin's opponent at the Destination X show. Sabin pinned King here with the All Hail Sabin, so that appears to be all done. Mickie was backstage in super-short shorts bragging to unseen people about being champ - her match is next.
But first, Knux and Devon went into a wacky dark room. Then they showed an epic replay video of the KOs match that showcased every big spot in it. Taryn talked with Booke's giant boobs and giant red lips about wanting a title shot. And oh, she may or may not be in love with Bully still. Mickie came out for her match with Hendrix, who's got some great gear. I love Mickie's giant fake clapping deal. She's added in a GIANT THUMBS UP too. I loved Taz saying if Brooke Hogan put you in a headlock, she'd smother you. Taeler got a giant Yes chant that Taz took credit for. Mickie suffered an injury out of nowhere, but it luckily healed itself in mere seconds before a hook kick win. Knux and Devon's search led to a wacky silhouette attack.
Replay of the Bully-Sting vid from earlier led to Sting's tweeting about "being alone", so he gets to be emo again. Next week, Angle-AJ happens again and Bad Influence faces the tag champs in a tag team BFG series match. Another replay of the Rampage-Angle deal. Hardy's out for the ladder match, which will be getting maybe 15 minutes here. Hardy jumped Bully while he was chatting with Taz. Hardy's showing a ton of fire here - I dig him doing this wacky pose...could've done without the air humping, before a lariat off the apron. Great spot there. Bully regained control by smacking Hardy's leg into the apron before a break.
They came back with Bully dropping some big headbutts to Jeff's chest in the corner. According to Taz, "Hardy has heart, BUT BULLY'S GONNA RIP IT OUT AND EAT IT. RIGHT HERE ON SPIKE!". That'd be something. Bully screaming "I DON'T NEED A HAMMER" before Taz said "or a mic" ruled. This led to an earcup and giant "HI DAD" handwave. This was ruling fine until Bully had to do a hop over the ladder to set up the ladder being kicked into his nuts. This led to a great "MY BALLS!" bellow from the champ. Bully won, but Hardy got the hammer after a twist and then collapsed on the ramp. Bully hobbled to the back where Hogan planned to de-brain him with a hammer before Brooke yelled no and Bully scurried away again. This was indeed something.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/miwiakn3gpx088hqknjxyhfhqr4yer70
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
TNA Slammiversary XI
King's indy-riffic gear is terrible. UX was okay, but was more
amusing for the post-match with the guy in a Captain America shirt and a
Cena US Spinner. Then Hogan cut a batshit crazy promo and killed the
title by reminding you immediately that you can just cash in the belt
for something that matters. Bizarre to see Hogan in the Mean Gene role
though. Hogan announcing the 6-man like it was new while calling them
all pussies was something else. The match itself was fine as long as Wes
wasn't in there. It's amazing how much better Garett seems with him in
there. They really should've shown the BFG '06 vid on Impact to remind
you of how in shape and with it Sting was in TNA, as opposed to largely
just reminding you of how he is - going through whatever motions he
still can. Also, that was NEARLY SEVEN YEARS AGO - crazy. Bradley-Shaw
was fine, but held back by Shaw. His gear made King's look major league,
and Bradley has some real presence to him. Devon-Abyss was terrible, in
part due to Devon not being very good in singles, and also due to Abyss
being in slow motion. Loved the bird flip before the Black Hole Slam.
BFG '07 vid for Sting-Angle built up the main event nicely, and Angle's HOF as well. Great announcement - it came off as more genuine than most of WWE's. Other than Dixie standing next to him and making him look short by comparison, this was great stuff. Loved the tag title match - very surprised to see Storm do much of anything, let alone work pretty much a whole match worth of stuff. Loved BI being protected, and GunStorm using Bad Company's slingshot DDT finish for a nearfall. Aries jobbed to the Gun Rack once again - if this is his punishment for the Hemme deal, great. It's helping get over a guy and I love that name for the move. Gail-Taryn was the best women's match all year by far. Flying crossbody INTO A CHAIR was crazy. Ringpost figure 4 led to Gail doing a header into a chair. Super-sick deal there. THEN TARYN JUST THREW HERSELF ONTO THE RAMP with a tope. Holy shit. RKO off the ramp onto the floor was crazy too. Loved Todd's silly HOLY EXCREMENT deal - very CHIKARA-ish. Outstanding finish and match. They should put that on some best of the year show on Spike or something so folks can see it. The replay made the spear trip and RKO seem even crazier, even if the RKO looked a bit wonky with Gail landing on Taryn's boobs during it.
The Sting-Anderson video really should've revealed Kurt as the wacky clown man...and wow did that finish not make Sting seem like a real champion. AJ HAS A THEME THAT ISN'T LET'S GET READY TO FLY! It sounds like an Aces and 8s remix, but works for this character...sorta. I think I have the same shoes as the ref in the AJ-Angle match. The actual match was pretty good, but the finish sucked. Just a basic double leg takedown into a cradle. Very blah. Bully swearing to win with the piledriver was nice because they set up in Gail-Taryn that it's death. I liked seeing that Sting actually has his singlet on - he still looks in good shape and should just wear that instead of wearing a shirt. Bully was fleet-footed going up the ramp, but like with the ladder deal a couple of months ago, it seems like he only had to go fetch one because the company didn't have one handy. He should've just ordered the ref to get one. Didn't expect to see Sting take a powerbomb though a table, so that was a pleasant surprise. Taz passing Bully A FUCKING SWITCHBLADE seemed like a bit much...and then he just used it to slice the ring up. Odd to see them expose that a ring basically has a matress pad underneath the canvas. It did show the bare wood, which made the piledriver seem like a huge deal. Sting kicking out of that reminded me a lot of the Taker-HHH tombstone kickout. And then a bunch of dudes came down, beat Sting down, who got a bit of an edge, and had some massive welts on his back. Sting earned his contract with this one. Perfect timing with the hammer shot during the flying crossbody off the block. Bully won, Sting lost, but went out fighting and had his best world title match in quite some time here. I've thought that the best use for Sting for a while was in the TV Title role and rebuild that title, so it's kind of a shame they gave that to Abyss. This match greatly exceeded expectations, although I do wonder if they'll make a wacky TNA International World Title for Sting.
Screens -
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/a70669258231348][IMG]http://thumbnails102.imagebam.com/25824/a70669258231348.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/3c0ee7258231352][IMG]http://thumbnails102.imagebam.com/25824/3c0ee7258231352.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/7f123a258234085][IMG]http://thumbnails101.imagebam.com/25824/7f123a258234085.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
BFG '07 vid for Sting-Angle built up the main event nicely, and Angle's HOF as well. Great announcement - it came off as more genuine than most of WWE's. Other than Dixie standing next to him and making him look short by comparison, this was great stuff. Loved the tag title match - very surprised to see Storm do much of anything, let alone work pretty much a whole match worth of stuff. Loved BI being protected, and GunStorm using Bad Company's slingshot DDT finish for a nearfall. Aries jobbed to the Gun Rack once again - if this is his punishment for the Hemme deal, great. It's helping get over a guy and I love that name for the move. Gail-Taryn was the best women's match all year by far. Flying crossbody INTO A CHAIR was crazy. Ringpost figure 4 led to Gail doing a header into a chair. Super-sick deal there. THEN TARYN JUST THREW HERSELF ONTO THE RAMP with a tope. Holy shit. RKO off the ramp onto the floor was crazy too. Loved Todd's silly HOLY EXCREMENT deal - very CHIKARA-ish. Outstanding finish and match. They should put that on some best of the year show on Spike or something so folks can see it. The replay made the spear trip and RKO seem even crazier, even if the RKO looked a bit wonky with Gail landing on Taryn's boobs during it.
The Sting-Anderson video really should've revealed Kurt as the wacky clown man...and wow did that finish not make Sting seem like a real champion. AJ HAS A THEME THAT ISN'T LET'S GET READY TO FLY! It sounds like an Aces and 8s remix, but works for this character...sorta. I think I have the same shoes as the ref in the AJ-Angle match. The actual match was pretty good, but the finish sucked. Just a basic double leg takedown into a cradle. Very blah. Bully swearing to win with the piledriver was nice because they set up in Gail-Taryn that it's death. I liked seeing that Sting actually has his singlet on - he still looks in good shape and should just wear that instead of wearing a shirt. Bully was fleet-footed going up the ramp, but like with the ladder deal a couple of months ago, it seems like he only had to go fetch one because the company didn't have one handy. He should've just ordered the ref to get one. Didn't expect to see Sting take a powerbomb though a table, so that was a pleasant surprise. Taz passing Bully A FUCKING SWITCHBLADE seemed like a bit much...and then he just used it to slice the ring up. Odd to see them expose that a ring basically has a matress pad underneath the canvas. It did show the bare wood, which made the piledriver seem like a huge deal. Sting kicking out of that reminded me a lot of the Taker-HHH tombstone kickout. And then a bunch of dudes came down, beat Sting down, who got a bit of an edge, and had some massive welts on his back. Sting earned his contract with this one. Perfect timing with the hammer shot during the flying crossbody off the block. Bully won, Sting lost, but went out fighting and had his best world title match in quite some time here. I've thought that the best use for Sting for a while was in the TV Title role and rebuild that title, so it's kind of a shame they gave that to Abyss. This match greatly exceeded expectations, although I do wonder if they'll make a wacky TNA International World Title for Sting.
Screens -
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/a70669258231348][IMG]http://thumbnails102.imagebam.com/25824/a70669258231348.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/3c0ee7258231352][IMG]http://thumbnails102.imagebam.com/25824/3c0ee7258231352.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.imagebam.com/image/7f123a258234085][IMG]http://thumbnails101.imagebam.com/25824/7f123a258234085.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Monday, June 3, 2013
Raw 6-3-13
Pre-show hype involves HHH HAVING A MATCH WITH CURTIS AXEL with zero
build beyond them implying last week that he MIGHT be on the show. Now,
he's not only on the show, but facing the guy whose nuts he cut off, and
who did no damage to him despite Brock beating the shit out of him the
night before. Also, The Shield faces Team Hell No and Orton, which
should be yet another great 6-man tag with Bryan and the Shield. The
show-opening vid starts off with the 3 stages of hell match - somehow,
Cena's apparently hoping to raise the stakes on that tonight. How you
can do that in a match with three stips AND a title on the line, I have
no idea - maybe Russo's been rehired. Ryback's massacre of Kofi, and
Brock beating up HHH at the PPV were showcased as well. For the first
time since Axel-HHH, they just showed Axel destroying him instead of
back and forth stuff. WELCOME TO THE QUEENDOM makes its TV debut. Steph
talked about how tough HHH was, facing Brock and then Axel on
back-to-back nights. She's made an executive decision to not allow HHH
to compete, and she doesn't want her hubby jeopardizing her husband's
health against a man WHO IS BENEATH HIM! Beneath him? Good to see them cut his balls off again five minutes after re-attaching them.
Steph called the fans selfish, and then Vince came out and asked the
fans to not boo his daughter - SHE HAS FEELINGS! The fans begged for
HHH, which led to Vince saying that they care about him more than the
fans. This is tremendous comedy. Then he said WWE was family
entertainment, not a bloodsport, before also saying that Axel was
beneath HHH. So Steph and Vince are heels...I think. This feels like a
book with many missing chapters.
"If you had the app, you'd have seen...Steph and Vince leave without incident." Wow. What high drama. Bryan's monstrous ass-whooping on SD was shown. "Just to get you caught up, STEPHANIE MCMAHON WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER!" Because that's pertinent. THE MCMAHONS ARE TRENDING WORLDWIDE NOW! IF YOU HAVE THE APP, you'd see guys...like you...watching a screen with Raw on it...like you are...They went to another break, and it really hit me how crazy the pacing on this show is. In 20 minutes, they've had the McMahons out, seemingly turn heel, announce HHH-Axel, then cancel it and all but announce HHH's retirement. Also, there's a match going on. It feels like hour two based on the sheer amount of things that have happened. They came back and Bryan did a giant American Males clap to get Kane going. Giant COCO BUTT from Ambrose, but fuck that shit, WE'VE GOT TO TALK MORE ABOUT THE MCMAHONS. Shield feels like a total afterthought in this match. Orton is ruling it, with a big double draping DDT that he did with an excellent YEAAAHHH!? YEEAAAHHHHH! bit. Rollings interrupted one on Reigns with an enzuigiri. Ambrose hit five billions stomps to the gut, which was amusing. They're doing a great job teasing a hot tag to Bryan, which should lead to the building erupting. Cole is now reciting lines from Shield promos for some reason, AND STEPH IS STILL TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER. This commentary is unbearable. Shield is using every little old-school trick to keep him in the ring, and thank God this match is getting time because, other than EVERYTHING BEING ABOUT THE MCMAHONS, the match rules. Orton hit a sweet dropkick to Rollins, which led to THE HOT TAG CAM and Bryan coming in. Bryan ran wild like a motherfucker and didn't just beat the fuck out of Ambrose with a kicking combo, but he ranad Rollins OFF THE TOP ONTO AMBROSE! Kane came in which led to a double chokeslam tease, then a shove and an enzuigiri to him to break it up. Confusion led to Bryan getting bonked by Orton, headlock driven, and pinned. Holy shit this ruled. I'm going to love re-watching this on the UHD replays on Saturday. Alberto-Big E is now a series, but this is THE RUBBER MATCH. Actually, it's A rubber match since it'll be their second rubber match for a feud no one cares about. Also, Jericho signs a contract for the Punk match later.
They furthered the weak link deal after the match by having Bryan shake his head, then the faces argued a ton in the back. Kane, KANE OF ALL PEOPLE is saying that Bryan has lost touch with reality. Bryan's going to have another match and BEAT THE RESPECT INTO SOMEONE. I vote for Swagger. HHH asked where Vince is, so he apparently doesn't know where his father in law is in the building. Steph met with him and called him Paul, so you know it's real. Also, Steph made sure to say CURTIS AXEL ISN'T WORTH IT! Vince's bright blue suit and pink tie are marvelous. Usos have new yellow and blue face paint that matches their gear - between this, their moves, sweet theme, and dancing, they come off like stars in every way but the booking of them, and crowd reaction - which would improve with better booking. Their opponents with no names before the break are the PTPs. The Uso TOLD THE WWE UNIVERSE ON THE WWE APP that the face paint gives them the edge. Loved Titus hitting a backbreaker and then throwing Jimmy like he was nothing after it. The Twitter crawl showed the fans talking about HHH, just in case anyone forgot about him. Cole talked about he and King being in the new Hangover. "How much ya get paid for that? As much as Vergne Gagne with Super Clash?" - Love JBL. They did it for union scale, btw. USOS WON, and did a wacky dance afterwards. Dug this. AJ, in shorts, is coming out with Big E for his match next.
WWE is a founding partner with the Special Olympics, and in case you missed the video on it, they had the commentators talk about it too. Loved them showing the crowd going nuts during Ricardo's intro. He's easily the most over part of Alberto's act. Clips of this feud just make it seem even more samey. Usos are trending worldwide, which isn't mentioned by the commentators because they're not important I guess. Alberto took a sick bump into the barricade when Langston just chucked him into it. Also, the McMahon drama was re-re-re-re-re-recapped. Also, the WWE app has a Zeb promo...but back to the HHH deal "for a moment". Basement superkick led to JBL name-dropping Chris Adams. Rampage armbar lift led to him going over the top with it, and then getting armbarred in the ropes. This series is working wonders for Big E, who finally appears to have some presence in his matches. Armbar was turned into a cradling armbar for a win by Alberto. Nice finish. Could've done without the leg spread wedgie shot of Big E. Sheamus is coming out to face Cody, instead of Sandow, who he's had an issue with. Seems odd since this doesn't seem like a PPV program, but I don't mind them building that up more instead of just doing it out of nowhere.
Loved the clip of the Sheamus/Sandow stuff from Raw. They've got wonderful comedic chemistry together. JBL was greatly offended by THE IRISH BRUTE Sheamus. Maybe they can find the Russian Brute and have Sheamus beat him up. JBL talked about the shell game never being on the up and up, or three card monty. However, ROLLER DERBY IS REAL! Also, Sandow is gloriously plugging JBL's wife's new book. They did some moves. Crowd gave zero shits. Both Cody and DOC appeared to have vacationed on the wrong side of the sun. Loved Sandow saying that Cody was just playing possum after the White Noise. Sheamus won with the kick. This was every mid-card Sheamus match ever, then he was a dickhead to Sandow.
They showed clips of Total Divas, which appears to have wacky sound effects added to moves. HHH and Steph continued their conversation from before as if it had never continued after the last scene. So I guess they just walked around the building for an hour and said nothing. HHH wants to face Axel next week to start the show, and they showed Ryback massacring Kofi. Bryan walked backstage and KICKED A CART, which led to Ryback showing up and expositing. Kofi had surgery on Thursday...for an injury that apparently happened on Friday. Also, Ryback's puke. Is bigger. Than Daniel Bryan. The acting here was simply amazing. I enjoyed Ryback saying Bryan was the missing link. Maybe he'll paint his face green after losing to Ryback. Vince talked to Axel, who he earlier said was BENEATH HHH. He made Axel-Cena a no DQ match, which apparently helps Cena WHO LOST BY COUNTOUT last week. Fandango faces someone next.
MizTV on SD was hyped up with Orton and Team Hell No. Summer Rae is dressed like a really hot bumblebee. He's facing KHALI, to continue their feud from a month ago. They hyped up the USA show Graceland, poorly. Fandango now has wacky armbarnds along with his gear. JBL talked about Finlay wanting to give Hornswoggle back to the stork. Tremendous. Cole lost his shit numerous times at JBL's commentary. This was a debacle, but it prevented any focus on the actual match - which in this case, isn't too bad a deal. Miz came out to prevent Fanango from leaving, and he got bull hammered for that. I think Fandango lost via countout. Or something. Who knows. They just focused on Barrett/Miz once Miz came out.
THE WWE APP DOES EVERYTHING! YOU CAN BUY TICKETS AND GEAR WITH IT! Sheamus-Cesaro was announced on ME, so maybe it'll happen. Bellas and AJ team up to face the Funkadactyls and Kaitlyn. JBL tried to put over Axel's undefeated streak, but Cole made sure to bring up that the Cena and HHH ones were tainted - so he's only really better than Sin Cara so far. A please push Ryder sign made air, so I'm sure ME will be changed to just Show killing him for an hour. Kaitlyn hit a flying boob job to a Bella, before a...thing resembling a knee lift and bad reverse DDT resulted in AJ leaving and Kaitlyn winning with the spear.
They came back to Cole saying THIS MATCH HAS BEEN A CLINIC IN PAIN for Ryback. A fan tweeted about wishing real-life meetings and contract signings were like the ones in WWE. They talked about Ryback having the edge in the lumberjack match since Cena's never pinned him...even though Ryback's never pinned Cena either. Then Ryback has the edge due to the tables match based on the Kofi deal, and has the edge in the ambulance match. SO THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST CENA AGAIN! Cole then talked about Cena's match wtih CURTIS ANGLE! HYYYUUUUUGE flying headbutt 80% of the way across the ring from Bryan ruled, and led to more big kicks to the chest and a big powerbomb to counter the death kick. Ryback reached for another one, but got No Locked. Holy crap this ruled. So much better than their SD match. Suicide dive led to a slam into the table ala his Jericho match on the NXT debut. Ryback brought a table into the ring, which wasn't a DQ until he powerbombed Bryan through it. Wow. Bryan won, Ryback looked strong, and this match ruled. Win-win-win in every way. Cena saved Bryan from being powerbombed through it again ala Kingston, who means more being injured than he does on the active roster. Since Cena was out, this led to a generic theme hitting that took me a few seconds to realize it was Axel's. He's got new gear - basically just generic black stuff with his dad's singlet arrow on the front.
The back has AXEL with two axes on it - decent-ish gear I suppose. King pointed out that it was odd for Vince to make a match meant to be against Axel that actually favors him since Heyman's out there. Axel took a chairshot to the back they Heyman sold wonderfully with sympathy pain. Cena brawled outside, which led to a count from the ref - so yeah, this stip really doesn't do anything to resolve last week's issue of a countout. Tons of green pages on the announce table - I wonder if they're for rewrites. Dropkick to Axel was meant to send the dropkick into Axel's face in theory, or at least close to it. Didn't quite work out that way in execution. Axel really used the no DQ stip well with things like...a generic mid-match armbar. Axel's facing Jericho on SD, which I'm guessing he'll win thanks to Heyman. Great way to give Axel a big win over a name guy and further the Punk feud too. Cena missed a shoulder charge and smacked the chair. Another count starting. Cole talked about count outs "obviously" being in this match. Another Curtis Angle mention by Cole. TREMENDOUS chairshot to the back from Axel - great snap to it and Cena sold it perfectly.
Perfect-plex on the chair was countered into the STF. Heyman grabbed...an iPad Mini and Axel hit Cena in the head. So a spear through an LED wall doesn't hurt Cena, but an iPad Mini does. Or not, since he was fine and was able to then tease an AA through a table before Heyman begged him to not do it. Axel snuck up, but got his ass kicked by Cena before Ryback attacked Cena and drove him through a table. ANOTHER FUCKING COUNTOUT WIN FOR AXEL! At Payback, RYBACK RULES. And Curtis Axel/Angle should really petition to have a match with Ryder so he can be guaranteed a pinfall win.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/yhnvrl871wr9tsr22mc3tx1rwpktbx6a
"If you had the app, you'd have seen...Steph and Vince leave without incident." Wow. What high drama. Bryan's monstrous ass-whooping on SD was shown. "Just to get you caught up, STEPHANIE MCMAHON WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER!" Because that's pertinent. THE MCMAHONS ARE TRENDING WORLDWIDE NOW! IF YOU HAVE THE APP, you'd see guys...like you...watching a screen with Raw on it...like you are...They went to another break, and it really hit me how crazy the pacing on this show is. In 20 minutes, they've had the McMahons out, seemingly turn heel, announce HHH-Axel, then cancel it and all but announce HHH's retirement. Also, there's a match going on. It feels like hour two based on the sheer amount of things that have happened. They came back and Bryan did a giant American Males clap to get Kane going. Giant COCO BUTT from Ambrose, but fuck that shit, WE'VE GOT TO TALK MORE ABOUT THE MCMAHONS. Shield feels like a total afterthought in this match. Orton is ruling it, with a big double draping DDT that he did with an excellent YEAAAHHH!? YEEAAAHHHHH! bit. Rollings interrupted one on Reigns with an enzuigiri. Ambrose hit five billions stomps to the gut, which was amusing. They're doing a great job teasing a hot tag to Bryan, which should lead to the building erupting. Cole is now reciting lines from Shield promos for some reason, AND STEPH IS STILL TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER. This commentary is unbearable. Shield is using every little old-school trick to keep him in the ring, and thank God this match is getting time because, other than EVERYTHING BEING ABOUT THE MCMAHONS, the match rules. Orton hit a sweet dropkick to Rollins, which led to THE HOT TAG CAM and Bryan coming in. Bryan ran wild like a motherfucker and didn't just beat the fuck out of Ambrose with a kicking combo, but he ranad Rollins OFF THE TOP ONTO AMBROSE! Kane came in which led to a double chokeslam tease, then a shove and an enzuigiri to him to break it up. Confusion led to Bryan getting bonked by Orton, headlock driven, and pinned. Holy shit this ruled. I'm going to love re-watching this on the UHD replays on Saturday. Alberto-Big E is now a series, but this is THE RUBBER MATCH. Actually, it's A rubber match since it'll be their second rubber match for a feud no one cares about. Also, Jericho signs a contract for the Punk match later.
They furthered the weak link deal after the match by having Bryan shake his head, then the faces argued a ton in the back. Kane, KANE OF ALL PEOPLE is saying that Bryan has lost touch with reality. Bryan's going to have another match and BEAT THE RESPECT INTO SOMEONE. I vote for Swagger. HHH asked where Vince is, so he apparently doesn't know where his father in law is in the building. Steph met with him and called him Paul, so you know it's real. Also, Steph made sure to say CURTIS AXEL ISN'T WORTH IT! Vince's bright blue suit and pink tie are marvelous. Usos have new yellow and blue face paint that matches their gear - between this, their moves, sweet theme, and dancing, they come off like stars in every way but the booking of them, and crowd reaction - which would improve with better booking. Their opponents with no names before the break are the PTPs. The Uso TOLD THE WWE UNIVERSE ON THE WWE APP that the face paint gives them the edge. Loved Titus hitting a backbreaker and then throwing Jimmy like he was nothing after it. The Twitter crawl showed the fans talking about HHH, just in case anyone forgot about him. Cole talked about he and King being in the new Hangover. "How much ya get paid for that? As much as Vergne Gagne with Super Clash?" - Love JBL. They did it for union scale, btw. USOS WON, and did a wacky dance afterwards. Dug this. AJ, in shorts, is coming out with Big E for his match next.
WWE is a founding partner with the Special Olympics, and in case you missed the video on it, they had the commentators talk about it too. Loved them showing the crowd going nuts during Ricardo's intro. He's easily the most over part of Alberto's act. Clips of this feud just make it seem even more samey. Usos are trending worldwide, which isn't mentioned by the commentators because they're not important I guess. Alberto took a sick bump into the barricade when Langston just chucked him into it. Also, the McMahon drama was re-re-re-re-re-recapped. Also, the WWE app has a Zeb promo...but back to the HHH deal "for a moment". Basement superkick led to JBL name-dropping Chris Adams. Rampage armbar lift led to him going over the top with it, and then getting armbarred in the ropes. This series is working wonders for Big E, who finally appears to have some presence in his matches. Armbar was turned into a cradling armbar for a win by Alberto. Nice finish. Could've done without the leg spread wedgie shot of Big E. Sheamus is coming out to face Cody, instead of Sandow, who he's had an issue with. Seems odd since this doesn't seem like a PPV program, but I don't mind them building that up more instead of just doing it out of nowhere.
Loved the clip of the Sheamus/Sandow stuff from Raw. They've got wonderful comedic chemistry together. JBL was greatly offended by THE IRISH BRUTE Sheamus. Maybe they can find the Russian Brute and have Sheamus beat him up. JBL talked about the shell game never being on the up and up, or three card monty. However, ROLLER DERBY IS REAL! Also, Sandow is gloriously plugging JBL's wife's new book. They did some moves. Crowd gave zero shits. Both Cody and DOC appeared to have vacationed on the wrong side of the sun. Loved Sandow saying that Cody was just playing possum after the White Noise. Sheamus won with the kick. This was every mid-card Sheamus match ever, then he was a dickhead to Sandow.
They showed clips of Total Divas, which appears to have wacky sound effects added to moves. HHH and Steph continued their conversation from before as if it had never continued after the last scene. So I guess they just walked around the building for an hour and said nothing. HHH wants to face Axel next week to start the show, and they showed Ryback massacring Kofi. Bryan walked backstage and KICKED A CART, which led to Ryback showing up and expositing. Kofi had surgery on Thursday...for an injury that apparently happened on Friday. Also, Ryback's puke. Is bigger. Than Daniel Bryan. The acting here was simply amazing. I enjoyed Ryback saying Bryan was the missing link. Maybe he'll paint his face green after losing to Ryback. Vince talked to Axel, who he earlier said was BENEATH HHH. He made Axel-Cena a no DQ match, which apparently helps Cena WHO LOST BY COUNTOUT last week. Fandango faces someone next.
MizTV on SD was hyped up with Orton and Team Hell No. Summer Rae is dressed like a really hot bumblebee. He's facing KHALI, to continue their feud from a month ago. They hyped up the USA show Graceland, poorly. Fandango now has wacky armbarnds along with his gear. JBL talked about Finlay wanting to give Hornswoggle back to the stork. Tremendous. Cole lost his shit numerous times at JBL's commentary. This was a debacle, but it prevented any focus on the actual match - which in this case, isn't too bad a deal. Miz came out to prevent Fanango from leaving, and he got bull hammered for that. I think Fandango lost via countout. Or something. Who knows. They just focused on Barrett/Miz once Miz came out.
THE WWE APP DOES EVERYTHING! YOU CAN BUY TICKETS AND GEAR WITH IT! Sheamus-Cesaro was announced on ME, so maybe it'll happen. Bellas and AJ team up to face the Funkadactyls and Kaitlyn. JBL tried to put over Axel's undefeated streak, but Cole made sure to bring up that the Cena and HHH ones were tainted - so he's only really better than Sin Cara so far. A please push Ryder sign made air, so I'm sure ME will be changed to just Show killing him for an hour. Kaitlyn hit a flying boob job to a Bella, before a...thing resembling a knee lift and bad reverse DDT resulted in AJ leaving and Kaitlyn winning with the spear.
Kane delivered some glorious exposition about Ryback before going into a great speech about how great Bryan is. Bryan yelled at Kane to not come out to help him, and it led to Kane delivering a great line - CALL ME WHEN YOU FIND YOUR MIND, CUZ IT'S OBVIOUS YOU LOST IT!
They hyped up the Wyatt family on commentary and showed a new great
video on them. Love the giant redhead in a mask - reminds me of Matthew
Good's "Carmelina" video years ago. Bry-Back is up next. They brought
the ambulance out for Ryback, which they've really gotten over as "his"
deal. The sirens sound far better than the "feed me more" bit, and him
doing his usual intro while standing on the back of it helped this stand
out. They talked about HHH being in every three stages of Hell match
other than the next one - so I guess he's not just the king of kings,
but also the king of Hell too. Nice wacky backflip toss from Ryback to
Bryan. Ryback's new black, red, and white singlet makes him seem a bit
more evil - which I dig. Half crab from Bryan got the crowd hyped up,
which led to the Indian deathlock>elbow combo that he even turned
into a pin. I cannot wait to use that move in a video game.
They came back to Cole saying THIS MATCH HAS BEEN A CLINIC IN PAIN for Ryback. A fan tweeted about wishing real-life meetings and contract signings were like the ones in WWE. They talked about Ryback having the edge in the lumberjack match since Cena's never pinned him...even though Ryback's never pinned Cena either. Then Ryback has the edge due to the tables match based on the Kofi deal, and has the edge in the ambulance match. SO THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST CENA AGAIN! Cole then talked about Cena's match wtih CURTIS ANGLE! HYYYUUUUUGE flying headbutt 80% of the way across the ring from Bryan ruled, and led to more big kicks to the chest and a big powerbomb to counter the death kick. Ryback reached for another one, but got No Locked. Holy crap this ruled. So much better than their SD match. Suicide dive led to a slam into the table ala his Jericho match on the NXT debut. Ryback brought a table into the ring, which wasn't a DQ until he powerbombed Bryan through it. Wow. Bryan won, Ryback looked strong, and this match ruled. Win-win-win in every way. Cena saved Bryan from being powerbombed through it again ala Kingston, who means more being injured than he does on the active roster. Since Cena was out, this led to a generic theme hitting that took me a few seconds to realize it was Axel's. He's got new gear - basically just generic black stuff with his dad's singlet arrow on the front.
The back has AXEL with two axes on it - decent-ish gear I suppose. King pointed out that it was odd for Vince to make a match meant to be against Axel that actually favors him since Heyman's out there. Axel took a chairshot to the back they Heyman sold wonderfully with sympathy pain. Cena brawled outside, which led to a count from the ref - so yeah, this stip really doesn't do anything to resolve last week's issue of a countout. Tons of green pages on the announce table - I wonder if they're for rewrites. Dropkick to Axel was meant to send the dropkick into Axel's face in theory, or at least close to it. Didn't quite work out that way in execution. Axel really used the no DQ stip well with things like...a generic mid-match armbar. Axel's facing Jericho on SD, which I'm guessing he'll win thanks to Heyman. Great way to give Axel a big win over a name guy and further the Punk feud too. Cena missed a shoulder charge and smacked the chair. Another count starting. Cole talked about count outs "obviously" being in this match. Another Curtis Angle mention by Cole. TREMENDOUS chairshot to the back from Axel - great snap to it and Cena sold it perfectly.
Perfect-plex on the chair was countered into the STF. Heyman grabbed...an iPad Mini and Axel hit Cena in the head. So a spear through an LED wall doesn't hurt Cena, but an iPad Mini does. Or not, since he was fine and was able to then tease an AA through a table before Heyman begged him to not do it. Axel snuck up, but got his ass kicked by Cena before Ryback attacked Cena and drove him through a table. ANOTHER FUCKING COUNTOUT WIN FOR AXEL! At Payback, RYBACK RULES. And Curtis Axel/Angle should really petition to have a match with Ryder so he can be guaranteed a pinfall win.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/yhnvrl871wr9tsr22mc3tx1rwpktbx6a
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)