WWE SmackDown 8-16-16

Orton signs his contract for Summerslam and Heath barges in with a basket "straight from the farmer's market". Bryan asks why it says "To Bob, our condolences" and he says they simply misspelled "boss". He offers Orton apple, he eats it, and has an idea. Heath is absolute gold and should remain unsigned forever so every show has at least one highlight. Time for MizTV...thank God for Heath. Dean's out first, followed by Dolph in blackish-grey jeans. Maryse's dress is astonishing. They yammer back and forth a bit before Dean drops truth bombs on Dolph about him burying himself under the pressure once again. Dolph talks about how Dean will try to bleed all over the place, but it won't be enough and then cheapshots him with a superkick. Heath faces Orton, and next, we get a giant wacky 8-man tag with the SD jobber tag teams and American Alpha.

The fucking state of this tag team division. Could they bring back Deuce and Domino to inject some star power into it or something? Bunch of nothing until a break. Jordan hits a slick belly to belly to English. FINALLY, something resembling excitement. Faces win with Grand Amplitude. Dean faces Rowan later, and Eva Marie re-re-re-re-re-re-re-debuts next. Naomi comes out in new glow in the dark gear to a remix of her theme. It works better for dancing, but isn't as good for entrance music. "EVA MARIE...HAS BEEN DELAYED DUE TO TRAFFIC. EVA MARIE APOLOGIZES!" Ha! WWE has good, new ideas - they are just literally all saved for preventing Eva Marie from wrestling on live TV.

And then things just go to JBL hyping up ADR vs. Cena with ADR beating Cena at HIAC for the US Title. AJ tells ADR he's jealous that he gets to see ADR beat up Cena tonight, and he first saw that on the WWE Network and then he was out for months! ADR tells him to stop living on the past, so AJ buries him and says he's in the main event at Summerslam, while ADR isn't even on the card. Ouch. CURT HAWKINS HYPE VIDEO is a thing that now exists. Well, he went from being in the GFW, to being on Impact, to being back in WWE - so I guess he failed upwards. Orton massacres Heath and hits a draping DDT on the floor. So I think Heath won via DQ. Orton Germans him and does the Brock hop. RKO hits. This was simple, but fun.

Bray and Rowan are backstage and Rowan twirls some red hair on his sheep mask. Okay then. Heath is backstage on the trainer's table and Shane and Bryan congratulate him on winning. Heath says that he showed Brock no mercy and Shane gives that name to the October PPV. Heath confuses them for the the Raw GM/commish, and they nix the contract. Boy what dicks! Wyatts are out so Rowan can face Dean. Rowan dominates with boring big guy offense. Rowan hits a spinkick that shocks JBL, even though he has like five moves and that's one of them. Dirty Deeds ends it. Bray grabs the sheep mask and leaves it on the rocking chair. Carmella and Becky face Alexa and Nattie next.

Heels are out with no intro, while Carmella gets a partial one. NO STEAM FOR BECKY!? Nattie By Nature lariat to Carmella. Becky comes in and runs wild with forearms and calf kicks. Traffic clears up and Eva comes down, but then Naomi chases her and Nattie gets a cradle, but the Disarmer ends it.After THAT OF ALL MATCHES, we get a plug for a documentary on the women's wrestling revolution in WWE. LO-Fucking-L.

 

 

Baron Corbin bullies Kalisto backstage. "Some people are just victims" could really do without the Heidrenrape camera angle. AJ comes out to do commentary. Cena is out, and then ADR. Not really much to this. I like ADR superkicking Cena in the gut when AJ distracts him. The flying rope thingy from ADR misses. Cena hits a slick dropkick off an ADR flying nothing. Armbar countered into the STF, but ADR gets the rope and superkicks the gut before a kneeling superkick gets 2. "A KICK TO THE FACE THAT RUNS THE PLACE!" Mauro rules. Armbar is on, but Cena is in a good position and hoists him up and then slams him down. AA ends it. AJ jumps him and says he's tired of hearing that the future goes through Cena and he'll make Cena's passion his prison. AJ rules. Cena recovers and AAs him mid-ring before setting up a double step ramp and AAing him through the announce table. Well, that should've been saved for the PPV.

 

 

 

 

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NJPW G1 Climax Finals 8-14-16

Before the show, we get the rundown of the card and the English commentators. GO KEVIN KERRY-SAN! TODAY IS FINAL! The highlight reel for the tournament really makes me want to go back and watch shows I missed. The card is run down and holy Jesus are there a billion matches.

Tiger Mask and Liger face Taguchi, who sings his way to the ring in Bruce Tharpe's jacket to team with David Finlay. LIGER'S THEME IS HERE! Love Rocky Romero plugging his CD on bandcamp. Finlay dropkicks Liger and looks great, other than the awful back tat. Liger avoids a hip attack with an atomic drop, and then eats one. Hip attack to TM leads to a Finlay roll for 2. Liger palm strike leads to a tiger bomb for 2. Great double team with a super tiger suplex and a surfboard by Liger and it's over.

Jado and Gedo are out to face the Bullet Club Hunters. Goddamn is this YosHHHiTatsu act bad. Jado chops away at Captain before Gedo comes in and gets choked. "Lots of Japanese wrestlers speak very fluent curse English". Corino is hilarious. Gedo's "FUCKAAAAA" amuses me. Captain gets a throat thrust, but eats a Jado lariat. Corino puts over the Jado and Gedo matches in ECW. God was their '90s getup awful. Jado locks on a crossface and wins!

Tomoaki Honma & Togi Makabe vs. Tomohiro Ishii & YOSHI-HASHI is up.HASHI and Makabe start up, but Honma and Ishii chop each other a bunch. KOKESHI ON THE MAT! Love this super-low suplex exchange, which Honma wins! Northern lights by Makabe gets 2. Giant face chop by Ishii gets 2. They trade clubbing Vader punches and sick chops. HASHI comes in and hits a bunch of lariats, but MAKABE WANTS THIS! Double sandwich lariat by the faces and a series of KOKESHIs hit for 2. SUPER KOKESHI MISSES!

HASHI gets a kick, but eats a jumping standing KOKESHI. Victory roll gets 2. Backstabber and a sliding lariat hit, but only get 2 after a save! HASHI hits a superkick, but eats an elbow. Western lariat and HASHI drops him on his head to win. Well, that's enough for now - I'll resume this all Sunday morning.

NOAH vs. NJPW tag is up. Katsuyori Shibata, Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Yuji Nagata, & Manabu Nakanishi vs. Katsuhiko Nakajima, Go Shiozaki, Maybach Taniguchi, & Masa Kitamiya, who got his name from Masa Saito and even has his JAPAN tights. Love all the stuff with Masa and Nagata. Big chops to Maybach from Tenzan. Back suplex and running neckbreaker to Tenzan gets 2. Chop and Mongolian chop battle between Tenzan and Masa! Go and Shibata go at it! Sick punt to the face just coming in off a tag. Nagata hits the yakuza kick and then Shibata hits the delayed dropkick for 2.

 
Go and Shibata just beat the piss out of each other with chops and elbows and Shibata doesn't register any of it! BACKDROP DRIVER, BUT SHIBATA GETS UP AND HITS ONE OF HIS OWN. Goddamn - just give these guys the NEVER Title to fight over forever. Four way beatdown of Shibata leads to a PK for 2. Shibata headbutts Nakajima with a nasty headbutt that BUSTS BOTH MEN OPEN. Jesus.Nakanishi tags in and hits a lariat for 2, and another 2 off a spear. The rack is on, but Masa's offense has no effect. Nakajima hits the brainbuster to win. This ruled, and then a giant brawl broke out with EVERYONE.

 

The Briscoes vs. Hangman Page & Yujiro Takahashi, with Yujiro coming out like the Godfather with Val Venis jokes about this being the real G1 Climax. Mark hits a moonsault off the top to the floor. Steve tries to get the name and numbers of all the girls, but fails. Double tackle to Page. Page gets 2 off a belt shot. Jay Driller is avoided, but a lariat gets 2. Jay hits a DVD on the apron to Page. Just stop with the apron bumps. Double Impact is avoided by Yujiro and he hits a fisherman buster. Page gets 2 off a DDT. Page gets 2 off a Saito suplex. Mark runs wild with redneck kung fu and the Doomsday Device hits for the win.

Intermission. Time Bomb countdown video. Kojima comes out to face Lethal for the ROH Title. Lethal stares him down and comes off like a guy playing world champion instead of THE WORLD CHAMPION. Love the Kojima corner elbow and then the flying elbow gets 2. Chop/forearm exchange. Chain of back suplexes by Jay. Super-sloppy Lethal Combination leads to the Hail to the King for 2. Lethal Injection is backdropped out of into the Koji Cutter! MONGOLIAN CHOP BY KOJIMA! ANACONDA VISE! Big brainbuster gets 2! Jay kicks him to avoid the lariat, then hits a kinda-Pele.WESTERN LARIAT HITS FOR 2. Trio of dives leads to the Injection, but Kojima lariats him. Kojima avoids a dragon suplex, but eats a mule kick to the balls and the Lethal Injection ends it!

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Michael Elgin, KUSHIDA, & Juice Robinson vs. Tetsuya Naito, SANADA, EVIL, & BUSHI is up. Naito gets a huge reaction just coming out - it's amazing how much more of a face he is as a heel than as a face. Kinda like Austin in that sense. Corino talks about how Nakamura leaving terrified people, but Naito stepped into his place. CRAZY reaction for Tana vs. Naito to start, so Naito tags in Sanada! Basic match overall. Elgin dominates with power moves and Evil won with the STO on Robinson. Naito is teasing stuff with Elgin for the IC Title by throwing his belts around - wouldn't be a bad WK 11 match and a big win for Naito.

Kazuchika Okada, Naomichi Marufuji, & Toru Yano vs. Bad Luck Fale, Tama Tonga, & Tanga Roa leads to shaky cam craziness with the BC comes out. Fale has a larger shirt to help cover his mud flaps. Good move. Another basic matches. Nice lariat from Okada to Fale over the top before the Rainmaker to Roa wins it. Chono comes out with an NWO hat to announce the main event. Hard to believe it's been six years since he was released from New Japan, but at least New Japan pays homage to its history with him being a five time G1 winner.

Goto's rise is chronicled in the pre-match video, while Omega's history gets some good coverage too. Omega's new DDP pants with his stuff all over this is a shockingly good look. Omega's theme is shockingly epic, while Goto's is one of the best in wrestling. Corino hypes up Omega being the first Canadian in the finals of the G1, and could be the first to win it. Omega wrestles him on the mat and wins that war a bit. Rocky talks about the left knee of Omega being banged up while Corino hypes him up as starting from nothing to just want to be a star in Japan.

Rana hits for Omega leads to the crowd clapping the Terminator theme, but Goto knees him in the gut to nix the dive. This is basically one man becoming a character face akin to Austin here. Goto locks on a figure four to further damage the knees. Goto dominates on the knee and Kelly talks about how Omega sent AJ and Nakamura out of the company. Omega teases a powerbomb to the crowd, but does one on the apron instead. I hope that's added to 2K17 for Owens - felt odd to not have it in 2K16. Omega hits a Rude Awekening with a hip swivel and does Chono's pose for 2.

Omega locks on a camel clutch and Omega talks about some of the men who have been in the G1, including Akiyama, Kawada, Liger, Bigelow, Flair, and Austin. Goto chops away hard and Omega responds with knife edge chops and kicks, but Goto takes him down with a hard lariat mid-ring and then another in the corner. Falling elbow off the top gets 2. Omega gets a Finlay roll and a moonsault for 2. Omega chainsaw forearms the face for a bit before clubbing away.

Omega lands some nice elbows and a snap dragon suplex before the rise of the terminator dive hits, but he smashes his knee on the rail! Omega hits a missile dropkick to the neck, but Goto his the ushigoroshi! Nasty apron lariat by Goto! Rocky talks about how historic this building is for both guys Ushigoroshi off the top gets 2! Sleeper, but no GTR. Omega flips out of a German and hits a jumping knee! V Trigger hits again and he goes for the One Winged Angel, but Goto avoids it. Omega climbs up top during a sleeper and flies backwards to take both out.

Forearms and headbutts aplenty. Ibushi last ride by Omega gets 2! Phoenix Splash misses! Goto hits a round kick to the chest for 2. Omega knees out of the GTR, V trigger hits again, dragon suplex gets 2! V trigger is caught, but he lands knees, and then eats a lariat! Hellavator hits and gets 2.9! Bloody Sunday by Omega! ONE WINGED ANGEL WINS IT!

 

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WWE SmackDown 8-9-16

The show opens with a generic brunette talking to Orton, who is then interrupted by Alberto. Orton tells him he'll take him to ViperVille tonight. Bray and Rowan come out and Bray rambles on about being a god. Dean comes on down and talks before coming in and then Dolph joins in to take an ass-kicking. Dolph and Dean argue a bit before Shane and Bryan interrupt and say "screw you" to Dolph and we'll get the Wyatts against them later. American Alpha squashes jobbers with "the tag team division" of like four teams out there, and then they brawl. Eva Marie makes her SPECTACULAR DEBUT next.


But first, Miz and Maryse are interviewed by Renee. Well, she tries to interview them, but they eye-fuck and Renee throws to a video package on Apollo Crews. Becky comes down to face Eva, but Eva's top falls down and she can't wrestle. Becky can't believe it and just wants anyone - "COME AT ME BRO!" Alexa comes down and accepts the challenge.


After the break, Alexa chokes her on the rope and gets 2. Becky hits the Bex-Plex, but Eva comes out! STO and the Twisted Bliss ends it. Orton-ADR is next. Ben Hur presents WM XXX's Brock-Taker streak-ending match. Orton comes out, then ADR. Orton dominates with lariats and then stomps him on the apron. I love Mauro saying that Orton is facing one trained MMA fighter tonight and faces another at Summerslam. ADR damages the arm a bunch, but eats a lariat and a powerslam.

Draping DDT, but ADR rolls out to avoid the RKO, grabs a chair and hits his arm for a DQ. How about that - a mid-card heel looking strong here. RKO hits. Well...they made ADR look kinda strong. Rhyno works on his arms backstage before Heath comes in and says if he beats Rhyno, he gets a contract with SD Live. Heath says he has two kids and he needs the job, and he just bought a pool too. Rhyno says he has constituents to impress, and then Heath says he has 4 kids and Rhyno calls him out on his BS and says he can't help.

We see Miz arrive in a Lambo to chat with Scooby-Doo about Miz not being on the cover. Miz gives him an audit, but Scooby traps Miz in the Mystery Machine and steals the Lambo. "SCOOBY DOO, WHERE ARE YOU!?" This fucking ruled! Otunga brings up how he, Heath, and Bryan were in Nexus together. Slater hits a nice running boot after eating some chops. Heath ducks a corner gore, but gets caught cheating and eats a gore! "RHYNO, YOU DAMN POLITICIAN!" JBL was amusing here. Bray tells Rowan to die for the cause tonight.

Bryan and Shane agree to signing Heath, but Heath yells and bitches. So they don't sign him. Carmella comes out to no reaction and says she'll smack Nattie so hard she'll go blind. Well, that's a heel move. Nattie comes out and jumps her - good, she was verbally threatened! Nattie dominates and locks on a nice abdominal stretch. Carmella gets the Code of Silence and wins to silence. AJ vs. Cena recap is next.

It's a solid hype video showing off their whole feud from Raw to SD. Baron beats up Kalisto backstage for eliminating him in the IC battle royal. Dolph comes out for the main event. WM 30 main event recap via Ben Hur. Match finally starts at 9:48. Dean gets some punches, but Dolph tags himself in. Rowan lariat leads to an ad break. Dean comes in and punches away at Bray and dives onto Rowan. Shotgun lariat hits! Rowan gets 2 off a splash. Bray hits the uranage on the apron. Boy is that a stupid bump for a TV match. Dolph tags in and hits a big lariat and a neckbreaker to Rowan.  Jumping DDT hits for 2. Rowan hits the spinkick for 2. Zig Zag hits, but Bray makes the save. Tope suicida turns into a flip dive for Dean. Superkick by Dolph gets the win. Dean hits Dolph with Dirty Deeds to close the show. Easy watch tonight.

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Mid-South Wrestling 3-30-84

Jim Ross starts the show off with highlights of Mr. Wrestling II and JYD while hyping up tonight's card. Jim Ross and Jim Cornette are doing commentary, and they each have the same salad bowl haircut. Butch Reed vs. Terry Taylor is booked for tonight after last week's draw - which is a huge issue with them only having a partial archive up. MSW was so episodic and it's hurt by this stuff. CORNETTE GETS CAKED recap! Eaton as a brunette is bizarre and Condrey looks even sleazier with kiddy birthday hats. Love Cornette threatening to sue the fans and everyone on the show for playing the clip and then Bill Watts saying he owns the company, he finds it funny, so sue him! "You got a moutful of memories, and you can't back 'em up anymore!" The pop when Cornette needles Bill and then BILL SNATCHES HIS HAND is something else. Cornette needles him more and gets pie-faced and takes a glorious bump for it.

Jim Ross and Cornette talk about this incident and Cornette threatens to sue even more. Ross throws to pre-tapes where the MX jump Watts and leave him laying in a pool of blood. Now this clip is something Cornette likes, and Cornette cuts another great promo on Bill Watts. Ross tells him that he isn't messing with just anyone and Corny says he's just a washed up, old cowboy before Ross says he was a top 10 contender around the world and a former North American Champion. That small touch is great because it makes their top local title seem like something held by legends. Ross interviews Bill after this. Watts says that all sports are getting too crazy and the rules are getting stepped on. Watts says that he retired by choice, not force and could always look a man in the eye who beat him and say that he was the better man that day.

Bill says he isn't going to fine Jim Cornette because he doesn't pay them - his mom does. Beating him up proves nothing because everyone knows he can do that. He wants to humiliate him and wants One Last Stampede to embarrass Cornette so much that he will never want to be seen here again. Ross tells Cornette that Bill will be out after the break and Cornette remembers that by golly, he's got to call his mother now.

Ross tells us that Cornette has left and then Watts recaps the feud. Watts talks to Jim about going to a catfish pond and meets with JYD. He needs JYD's help here, but JYD's suspended - BUT THANK GOODNESS, HE KNOWS SOMEONE! He's a really nasty guy, a street fighter - S. Lee. Watts says that he thought ol' S. Lee was in jail for a bit, but he's out now!

Bill Watts and Jim are back in the studio and we see the legendary meeting with Stagger Lee. Jim Ross has to meet him blindfoled so he can't be seen. The feed cuts out a bit and we see him explain that Bill Watts has a problem and JYD said he could help him. Jim Ross explains that Bill Watts has been beaten up by the Midnight Express and S. Lee wants his money. Stagger Lee will team with Watts! We go back to a match from 1982 with Ted DiBiase against a jobber he thinks is S. Lee, but he holds up a banner saying "S. Lee is Stagger Lee" and then STAGGER LEE COMES OUT! Stagger's outfit is absolutely ridiculous, but Watts puts over Lee as someone who beat up JYD in school and Lee wins with the Thump.

Bill Watts highlight reel shows him beating up Terry Funk and Killer Karl Kox before Watts says that he's got one of Jim's mother's dresses. Watts says that the match will have a stipulation about either Cornette wearing a dress, or maybe give him a bottle or putting diapers on him. "YOU'RE GONNA BE ONE EMBARRASSED SISSY!" The first half of this show has all been focused on one thing, and it's been perfect so far. Mike Jackson, who still wrestles today, faces Mr. Wrestling II next.

Mr. Wrestling II interrupts Boyd Pierce to say that he is Mr. Wrestling - he is number one! Mike Jackson gets a big pop from the crowd with Magnum TA by his side. Magnum says that he Mike Jackson is allowing him to act as his surrogate tonight. Mr. Wrestling says that he didn't sign a contract to face Magnum - he signed a contract to face Mike Jackson. Magnum says that he was taught some good lessons, and he squares off with him. "My boy, I'M NOT MY OWN MAN - I WRESTLE WHO THEY SAY I WRESTLE!" Magnus says he's a coward and he's hiding behind the title. Magnum slaps him and says if he's beaten, he'll leave MSW. Mr. Wrestling leaves. Hacksaw Jim Duggan faces Nikolai Volkoff next.

Ross talks about the Russians attacking Duggan after a match with Masao Ito. Duggan hits the flying shoulderblock, called the spear, and gets hit with the board. Darsow punches through it with his coal miner's glove. He goes to hit Duggan, but Crusher Darsow is stopped by the RNRs and TA. Boyd Pierce is in a downright subdued outfit here to introduce Duggan vs. Volkoff.

Duggan slugs away and hits the tackle, but Dardow and a masked Russian sickle guy come out to attack. Terry Tayor and the RNRs come out for a save. Terry Taylor posts Butch Reed, leading to their match next. Reed says he was posted and his shoulder is hurt, but he can't wrestle right now. Boyd says the rules say that Reed forfeits or he can wrestle. He says this is a bunch of crap and hits Terry with the coal miner's glove twice in the arm and gut. He starts foaming at the mouth after a shot from it. For a show with three matches advertised and none of them happening, everything that is happening is at least productive.

Jim Ross says he talked to Grizzly Smith and Butch Reed has been disqualified and Terry Taylor advances to the finals with Krusher. Boyd brings us a standby match with Masao Ito against Larry Santana, who is wearing Mike Bennett's jacket. Ito is in red and green, which looks far worse than his red and black getup. Ito hits a gutwrench from the mat into a piledriver and wins with a chop to the throat. Jim Ross puts over Bill Watts as one of the greatest athletes of his time and re-runs the music video form earlier. This was an outstanding show and I think about a dozen bumps were actually taken on it. The goal was to sell you on Bill Watts being the biggest badass who ever lived, and dammit, he's bringing AN EVEN BIGGER BADASS WITH HIM and they're coming to kick some ass and it succeeded.

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WWE SmackDown 8-2-16

Shane, Bryan, and Orton watch Orton RKOing Brock. Shane tells him that he'll deal with him later, but that was awesome. Miz and Maryse's cleavage interrupt them and Bryan makes "Baron vs. APOLLO CREED vs. Kalisto, with the winner facing Miz at Summerslam. Dean rattles off his accomplishments and talks about Dolph being the booty shaker.

Dolph talks about coming in as a male cheerleader - he started from the bottom, while Dean started from the top via the Shield. Dean tells Dolph that he spends too much time complaining, while he just faces roadblocks and steps over them to move on. Dean drops a dozen truth bombs on him and says that he's not as good as he thinks he is and is too focused on surface-level stuff. If this makes Dolph more serious, excellent - he needs a revamp. Bray teleports in and hits Sister Abigail to Dolph. They are doing a stellar job of making you care about the character of Dolph Ziggler - and it only took ten minutes. Bray tells Dolph to face and beat him tonight - and if he wins, he will prove that he is the no. 1 contender. However, if Bray wins, he gets the title shot at Summerslam. IC title shot match is up next.

 

Shane talks to the security goons and Dolph tells them he wants the Bray match. Dolph says he is going to prove Bray and everyone else wrong and beat Bray to show he deserves the title shot. I dig the SD graphics for guys being on the right - reminds me of the left-hand graphics with trons during the original brand split. Miz does commentary alongside Maryse's rack for the match.

GOODLUCHATHING by Kalisto for an ad break. Baron dominates a bit, but Crews beats Kalisto with a schoolboy to win. Nothing match. Miz says Crews is in for a war. Miz should've said "YOU'RE GOING TO WAR WITH A MARINE!" there. Sad Tummy beats up everyone and stands tall. Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie is next. They recap the possibility of Brock coming in and Otunga can't even sound excited for that. Becky comes out and then Eva gets her wacky intro. Eve apparently hurts herself dong the intro - and it's a shame too as Becky's in her wedgie getup. Renee talks to Carmella and says that Eva is a faker. Nattie insults Carmella and Renee for not being interviewed here. They are in a really echoey room here and it's distracting. The SMACKDOWN FIST lives on in the transitional graphics - I love it. American Alpha is next.

 

 

VaudeVillains are mid-ring to be fed to American Alpha. Mauro hypes up that Gable was an Olympian in 2012. Gable's in ring and gear style is perfect for Fire Pro Returns. Give them the camo getup with tons of color variants and you're gold. Gable rides Gotch, while Jordan dropkicks him for 2. JJ gets his singlet pulled, but still gets the tag and Gable hits a double flying lariat. Otunga as JBL's parrot just doesn't work. JBL talks about how the heels are just beating them down, before Otunga repeats the same thing. Stronghold capture plex leads to a stronghold belly to belly and the Grand Amplitude wins it.

AJ's message for Cena is next, but first, a recap of Cena at the Teen Choice Awards. JBL hypes up AJ as "his first day in IWGP, he won the championship!" Fuck off, JBL. AJ cuts his theme off and then Cena comes out. AJ's sleeveless shirt under the textured vest look is great - and the shirt itself would really make for a great compression top to cover him up when he gets older too. AJ tells him he doesn't want him here and Cena only panders to weak-minded people - and since they're in Nashville, he knows they've got the weakest-minds of all! Great TNA knock there, and then he rants about participation awards for kids who do nothing. "YA DON'T GET A TROPHY FOR PARTICIPATION - YOU GET A TROPHY FOR BEING A WINNER. I BEAT JOHN CENA, WHERE'S MY TROPHY!?"

Cena says that he loves how the fans react to me. He loves helping kids, parents, and doing award shows because people ask him when he'll leave WWE and he loves saying he'll never leave WWE - it is his home. Cena says that if AJ fails, he'll just pick up and go someplace else...wow. Cena says he's here out of love, and asks what AJ's here for. Man, I love them at least attempting to go into depth with the characters here.

Fandango is mid-ring to face Orton. JBL references Brock and Orton being in Danny Davis's OVW, before Mauro plugs "Nightmare" Danny Davis and JBL talks about the VINTAGE draping DDT. Brock shows up, jumps the rail and F5s Orton. F5 SHANE! DO IT! Nope. He just leaves and Shane says "how dare you".

Bryan talks to someone and then Heath sneaks behind him and says that he snuck in the backdoor. Bryan says that security was too busy with Brock and Bryan gives him a match next week to get a contract. Heath wants it against "Jumpin Marty Lunda", but instead of Arn, Bryan makes Rhyno-Heath after Heath eats a gore. Okay then. And then Renee chats with Deano. He's a bit of a prick and then leaves. Bray vs. Dolph is up next.

Or not. A new generic interview girl talks to Orton, who says nothing. Carmella comes down, establishes her character, and eats a beating from Nattie while Otunga calls her a "petty Betty". Dolph vs. Bray is up finally. Dean is a smug asshole a bit on commentary. Dolph hits a fameouser right away for 2, but eats a shotgun lariat. Bray exposes the buckle but eats it, and a Zig Zag gets 2. Superkick after an exposed buckle shot wins it for Dolph. Rowan jumps Dolph after a Dolph-Dean staredown.


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