WWE SD 10-11-16

Dolph's out in a Hype Bros shirt and cuts a passionate promo about winning, while Miz and Maryse come out in black mourning the loss of the title - or as Miz puts it, the death of the IC Title because he gave it prestige again. The Spirit Squad come out and boy is Kenny's giant right arm tat distracting. They have a nothing match for a while with ads being shown in a split screen instead of just ads - which is odd. The SD tag champs make a save, so I guess that's a six-man tag at some point. Shane and Bryan hype up a five versus five Survivor Series match with Raw facing SmackDown. Boy is Bryan bad at this, and Bryan also wants a five-on-five tag team match and then a five-on-five women's match. Wow is this overkill.

Nikki chats backstage "earlier today" and gets jumped by Carmella. Carmella has a nothing match against Naomi, which ends due to Nikki coming out. Alexa says she can beat Naomi any day of the week and twice on Sunday - so Bryan says she'll get a chance to beat her next Tuesday. Awkward Total Bella stuff makes Bryan look a bit dorkish. Usos cheat to win to beat American Alpha in a short, but fun match. I loved Jey helping the schoolboy out with his bright yellow boots and the ref still missing it. Usos standing next to a DELETE DELETE sign amuses me. Hype Bros yammer on backstage and the Ascension interrupts. Joy.

AJ comes out for his victory promo and says the fans live vicariously through him, but he's a one man bandwagon. AJ brags about beating Dean and Cena at the same time and says most would take a year off - or at least a month, but not him! Dean comes out and wants a fight, but AJ says no - he'll fight someone not on the roster - JAMES ELLSWORTH! Bryan makes Ellsworth vs. AJ official, and makes Dean the ref. AJ squashes him, but Dean takes a call and misses James tapping to the crusher. Dean shoves James in the ring to take photos with a hot babe in the front row. AJ hits the nastiest Clash in WWE yet with James tucking his head, but luckily, it was a slow drop and his knees took the brunt of it. Dean counts 2, but won't hit for a third time. He hits Dirty Deeds to AJ to give James the win, but AJ KICKS OUT! Dean grabs a drink from a fan before hitting another dirty deeds and giving Ellsworth the win via fast count.

 

 

Kane and Orton have a brief, friendly chat before their match with the Wyatts. Not much to it beyond Kane disappearing when the lights went out and Harper distracting Orton so he could take THE WORST Sister Abigail ever and lose.

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WWE No Mercy 2016

The main event is actually set to start the show - so they'd better have this card really solid or it's going to drag horribly.I love the little pop-up graphics for the panel - LITA accomplished more than Jerry Lawler, apparently. Curt Hawkins has his own voiceover guy now - so he's already more of a store than most because he simply IS DIFFERENT SOMEHOW. Hawkins says he's here in the ring - so he's delivered what he promised and gets more pyro.

 This is easily the peak of Hawkins's career. Sirens blare and Hawkins says that on SD, he'll have his very first match. You've gotta be shitting me. They're delivering the main event first - no one is sticking around for this whole thing. Bryan and Shane meet with Alexa and tell her that she'll get a shot on November 8, but she'll wrestle tonight. Lots of padding with video packages. American Alpha and the Hype Bros are out to face 2 SD heels teams. American Alpha is beneath Swagger on this card. Dafuq!? The new set really does work well for the Vaudevillains. Shame they're doomed on the main roster. AA squashes the Villains after the Ascension does basic heel big man stuff for a while. Nothing match.

The opening video showcases Bray vs. Orton, the triple threat, the IC Title, and the now non-existent women's title match. AJ looks like a member of the Wolves with his new gear. Strangely, everyone comes out and then we get a video package for the match. Now the bitter rivals are just standing there like goobers even longer for ring intros. 

Dean starts off with a nice basement dropkick that sends AJ to the floor. Stunner-style TKO gets 2 for John, but he eats the Pele! Super AA is countered into a rack powebromb for 2! Cena hits his comeback spots, but Dean prevents the fistdrop. Dean and AJ take each other out and the sheer look of joy on John's face to hit a double fistdrop is great. He hits it and then hit each with AAs that get 2. Cena has finally learned how to make the STF look good! AJ SUPLEXING CENA ON THE APRON! Perfect springboard 450 gets 2. 2 COLD SCORPIO NAMEDROP BY MAURO! Love this guy. AJ hits Dean with the Clash, but gets locked in the STF while down!

Dean holds AJ's hand up to prevent a tap and attacks Cena. Double AA is teased, but AJ flips out of it and hits a kick before Dean uses that to get out and hit AJ with a wacky lariat. Running Ligerbomb by Cena gets 2. Cena goes for an AA, but AJ turns it into a calf crusher. AMBROSE DOES THE CRUSHER ON AJ! Cena then locks AJ in the STF and AJ TAPS! AJ loses via a 2-on-1 attack...wouldn't that kind of make him a pseudo babyface? The ref restarts since no one person won. AJ pulls the ref out to prevent a Dirty Deeds win. Avalanche AA hits Dean, but AJ chairshots Cena to win! This ruled!

Bray-Orton hype video.  Nikki comes out in tiny booty shorts to faux-flash the crowd. #womensrevolution. Otunga says that Carmella shouldn't have tried to leapfrog folks. David Otunga ranting about someone getting undeserved chances amuses me greatly. Carmella avoids the TKO, but eats a Bella Buster - getting a WOW from JBL. Nikki hits the forearm, avoids the Code of Silence and goes for the Alabama Slam, but Carmella rolls through and gets it again, but Nikki gets the ropes. Rack Attack 2.0 wins. Miz insults Bryan and Dolph backstage. Miz demands another contract renegotiation after Dolph is retired and frees up some funds.

Komen ad with Titus doing some awful voiceover work.Rhyno plays face in peril, but Heath gets the hot tag and a superkick for 2! AVALANCHE POWERSLAM BY HEATH GETS 2! Jimmy gets a superkick and the Uso knee clip hits, but Rhyno gores Jimmy on the floor. Rhyno also takes out Jey mid-ring before Heath tags him in! GORE WINS IT!

 

Bray speaks Latin and no one cares. Swagger comes out with new, shittier gear - just what he needed. A boring chant breaks out. Swagger gets the ankle lock, so Baron uses the ring skirt to distract the ref, pokes the eyes and wins with the End of Days. Miz-Dolph feud recap. Miz does Bryan's moves and Mauro talks about how this should all be about Dolph and not Bryan. JBL buries Dolph's standup. Figure four almost gets it, but Dolph gets the ropes. Miz undoes the buckle while Maryse stands on the apron to distract the ref. Miz hits the slingshot powerbomb for 2!

Ultimo Dragon at WW 3 '96 still has the best slingshot powerbomb I've ever seen. Shocked that move hasn't been in a game yet for Batista. Dolph locks on a sleeper, but Miz gets the ropes. Maryse uses the spray and the Finale only gets 2! A surprisingly big YES chant breaks out. KENNY AND MIKEY COME OUT! Superkicks take them out and a Finale gets 2! Ref kicks all of Miz's cohorts from ringside! DOLPH SUPERKICKS MIZ TO WIN! This really should've gone on last.

 

 

Alexa comes out and Naomi is the replacement. Naomi really shouldn't win and stunt Alexa's momentum, but she's the replacement - so she'll win. They have a pretty nothing match that Naomi wins by countering a cross armbar into a cradle for the win. In-canon, Raw and SD are at war, yet we get a big plug for the Raw show along with a recap of the feuds. RKO tease to start. Lots of brawling. Long chinlock by Bray, but Orton fights out. Harper returns and Orton eats a Sister Abigail and loses. Harper and Bray get this stunning shot of their reunion - well, Harper's return did get a pop and he's a great guy, so this was enjoyable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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WWE SD 10-4-16

 Cena-AJ-Dean recap video leads us to Bray vs. Orton being set up with Bray vs. Kane. Joy! They have a long, nothing match before Orton cuts a creepy, spooky promo and Bray just leaves. Baron insults Swagger, who says he'll find Bryan or Shane and try to get a match. Nikki comes out shaking her ass to face Alexa. They have a fairly bad match until Carmella comes in and beats up Nikki during the TKO. Becky comes out for a save, making this a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH. Alexa beats Becky with Twisted Bliss - so Becky retains on Sunday.

Orton chases Bray backstage and Bray yells into a camera in the room he's trapped in. Bryan gives SD Women's Title replicas to breast cancer survivors. Hype Bros beat the Vaudevillains with a Hype Ryder while the Ascension looks on. Jesus do none of those potential matches seem good. Miz and Maryse introduce a faux documentary on him - showing his history as Kerwin's caddy and in the Spirit Squad, and winning the World Title for 10 minutes before losing it on SD. Dolph cuts an excellent promo on how if he can't deliver, he doesn't belong.

 

MIZ BRINGS OUT THE SPIRIT SQUAD! Well, 2 of them. They spell Dolph in the most hilarious way ever. Miz says the other two were lost in transit when HHH sent them back to OVW. Miz says he can't wait to see Kenny and Mikey do autograph signings with Nicky for $5, before they kick Dolph's ass. Dolph beats them up, but Miz escapes. This was great! AA beats the Usos quickly again, but eat a beating until the champs make a save. Bray and Orton do creepy stuff for a bit.

Cena and Dean hype video showcases Cena's outstanding Talking Smack promo. Swagger comes out to face Baron, and Hawkins re-debuts at No Mercy. Baron and Swagger have a nothing match where Baron "taps" by reaching for the ropes. AJ and Dean talk smack, before Cena and AJ resume their beef. Everyone brawls and AJ stands tall in the ring only to be taken out on the ramp by Dean. Pretty blah show outside of the Dolph-Miz stuff.

 

 
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TNA Bound For Glory 2016

TNA's WrestleMania begins with Matt Hardy and his son playing "La Cucaracha" on pianos - so this is already quite the mindfuck. Trevor Lee is out to face DJZ in an unannounced X Division Title match. These two are excellent and should have at least a good match - and they do. Lee lands an impressive mushroom stomp to avoid the DDZ, leading to him getting mad at the ref for it not ending the match. Josh's "YOU BETTER WATCH IT YOUNG MAN - YOU COULD WIN THE TNA X DIVISION TITLE AT BOUND FOR GLORY!" amused me for all the wrong reasons. DJZ hits a destroyer and the DDZ wins it. Drew says that Corgan is buying TNA and bitches a lot.

Bound For Gold is less bad than last year. Grado flew halfway across the globe to get thrown out like a Bushwacker. Eli wins and holy Jesus was this awful. Rob Irvine talks to JB and gets insulted by Maria and JB. Bennett comes out in new, worse-looking dark blue gear with a pineapple over his ass. A football team in full garb does the MOOSE bit. Superkick out of the Game Changer, but he eventually gets it and wins. God is that finish stupid - the Rainmaker works because it's a snap move with a ton of velocity. This has ZERO velocity to it.

Eddie Edwards faces Rex, and we get visible judges and FIVE MINUTE SPECIAL EVENT ROUNDS. They have a nothing match until the lights go out and the fans chant "PAY THE LIGHT BILL!". The look of this is actually pretty cool as it's so minimalistic. They come back as Rex goes for an Edgucator - and I just noticed that they've got the lights on full blast. So they CAN do it, they just choose not to for the TV show. Rex wins via split decision - and a botched graphic. He cuts a nothing promo. BOY what a title this is.

Christy Hemme comes back to induct Gail into the HOF. Taryn returns pregnant with her second child, as does KONG! Dixie comes out and gets booed! Robert Irvine tears up at her speech and it's now time for THE GREAT WAR! Reby plays Matt's theme on a piano on the ramp before Matt comes out to a "DELETE" chant and Nero sings the "Obsolete" song. This is just anarchy with brawling all over the place. Steve spits in a water bucket and tosses it on "Jeffrey!" Jeff disappears and then Matt and Abyss fight at Universal. Jeff is off screen SMASHING PUMPKINS by throwing them at Steve, before we cut back to Abyss and Matt fighting near a Ferris wheel. Willow the Wisp/court jester comes out and cusses and says "I CAN'T EVEN SEE SHIT MAYN!" after putting on goggles.

The crazy redneck that Decay beat up in Cameron returns to get his ass kicked, and his crack revealed, by Rosemary as he's tossed into the bushes. Willow unravels his umbrella to beat Steve up. Matt throws fireballs from his hands to light Janice ablaze before she's tossed into the bushes. Matt and Abyss fight on the road in a truck before Vanguard 1 initiates Poison Mist Protocol on Rosemary. FINALLY, they fight back to the ring and Matt Side Effects Abyss into a barb wire board. Chair Twist by Matt leads to Jeff hitting a crazy swanton off the top of a super ladder through a double table stack to win the TNA World Tag Team Titles.

Maria has new super-short green shorts on. Nice. Josh tells us that BFG is IN FACT TRENDING WORLDWIDE. You fuck off now. Maria spinebusters her and gets a wonky cover for 2 because she falls off. A brace shot lands for 2. Ringpost figure 4 is on. Gail hits a sloppy Eat Defeat and wins the title. Bennett bitches and moans before Cody debuts. "CODY AND BRANDI RHODES ARE ENTERING THE IMPACT ZONE!" Cody takes him out with the Beautiful Disaster. Oh, and Lashley and EC3 had a long, awkward match that was devoid of good and Lashley won. Well, he's the best thing in the company - so the right man won.

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WWE SD 9-27-16

Orton cuts a promo on fear and how Bray is afraid of him. Dean chats about getting his belt back before the Usos come out with a new theme and camo gear. They always come off as Samoan versions of the Briscoes on Total Divas - and now they really do. 8 man tag with them and The Ascension against Beauty and the Manbeast and Alpha leads to them taking out Heath with the knee curb stomp and the Tequila Sunrise. Cena says that Dean has something AJ doesn't have - guts! Naomi and Nikki face Nattie and Carmella, who takes the corner rimjob to start. I love Mauro calling every part of that, from the headscissor to the moonwalk, BUT NOT THAT PART. Carmella beats her with a...sorta schoolboy? Okay.

Orton goes to spooky doors painted in paint/blood symbolism and walks through a door. Miz and Maryse come down so she can throw to a video package on him. This is an outstanding video and really makes him come off like a character babyface who has overcome every possible odd. Miz leads the hometown crowd in cheering for his parents, and his dad gets a Mr. Hero chant leading to Miz saying you can all get burgers later. Miz introduces "Mr. and Mrs. Ziggler", who created an elite-level loser! This brings out Dolph - finally, a WWE babyface who stands up for himself! Miz hiding behind Maryse is a great touch.

Maryse's boob window catsuit is amazing. Dolph tells him to say things to his face and Dolph tells him he cheated - while Miz points out that the record books just talk about wins. Miz says that Dolph was great, but he just loses - he needs to end his mediocre career and he was ALMOST main event-level, but now he's mid-card. "Your career makes me sick and it would make me sad if it was mine!" Miz tells him that Dolph can't get one more match from him - so Dolph puts his career on the line to get one last chance at the title at No Mercy. Now that's a stip and it actually feels important. They have made the IC Title seem so important once again, and it was so simple.

Bray sez words to Randy. Becky comes down for a match, but Bliss attacks her. Orton wears a sheep mask and finds Bray and beats him up. Cena comes down to do commentary, while AJ in his slick black and white gear are out for the main event. Dean and AJ have a far better match here than on the PPV. Dean's cloverleaf and apron forearm were fantastic. AJ gets crotched again and eats a big lariat, while the flying elbow gets 2. Ambrose hits Cena on the floor, and AJ cradles him for the win! Cena lands AAs and stands tall with the title.

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WWE Clash of Champions 2016

Nia and Alicia have a sloppy match. Holy Jesus is this match just nothing. LONG CHINLOCK. Nia wins with the Samoan drop and Alicia's ass looks nice in her gear. God, even the recaps of the storylines are just boring now.

New Day vs. The Club is the opener. New Day says words. Jokes. I'm exhausted and the show has just begun. YES! New badass long vests for the good brothers! Running Ligerbomb gets 2 for Karl right away. Boy, way to kill that move dead. Luke runs wild with some nice shots in the corner and gets 2 off a chokeslam. Big Ending gets 2 when LG pulls E to the floor. FLYING TROMBONE SHOT hits Karl and the Big Ending/Flying DDT end it. Commentators hype up Ride Along.

Cruiserweight Title is up IN ITS DEBUT in the second match on the card. This division is so fucked. Generic Brunette Human talks to TJP about him being a WWE Superstar and WWE Cruiserweight Champion. Loving Kendrick and his wacky flag. The ropes are purple for CW matches, and then Mega Man music is used for TJP! Code of the Cruisers not being adhered to! Also, the apron LEDs and buckle logos are purple - because THAT fixes what was horrible about the cruisers on Raw.

Kendrick does the Finlay ring skirt beatdown. Pendulum by TJP. Triangle rana sends Kendrick to the floor for 9. Wrecking ball dropkick hits Kendrick, but the 450 misses. Kendrick goes for the bully choke, but it's countered into a kneebar. Sliced Bread hits and gets 2! Fireman's carry kick into the kneebar ends it. Pretty boring match, sadly. Kendrick kicks his ass after the match - so no one really gained anything here.

Speaking of which, Cesaro cut a promo in his prom tux. Cesaro hits an uppercut to counter the outside-in shoulderblock and he hits a flying Thesz press off the apron. Sheamus goes for the splash mountain, but Cesaro sunset flips him for 2. Sheamus clubs away in the corner, but Cesaro hits a 619! Tossing irish curse gets 2. Cesaro necks himself on a dive! Cesaro recovers and gets an Okada dropkick before Sheamus dives to the floor into a sloppy uppercut. Cactus Clothesline over the barricade by Cescaro. And that's a non-finish. Are you fucking kidding? RAW IS IN A FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL AGAINST SMACKDOWN LIVE, so here's an ad for the SD Live PPV. Bayley and Charlotte chat backstage and WWE still hates cancer.

Sami's out to face (the gift of) Jericho. Jericho working as a slower wrestler is so much better. Love his super-slow basement dropkick. These two just aren't gelling much here, and Jericho wins with the codebreaker. Goddamn Raw is hopeless. Women's match is up for the mid-card death slot. Sasha and Charlotte get all wacky with brawling. Sasha GETS HER HAIR PULLED for her "stay on the floor for five minutes" spot. Sasha gets shotgun knees to Charlotte in the gut. Sasha lands a double decker NO ONE MOVE kneedrop. Sasha dominates with...high school slapfight slaps. Bayley breaks up the bank statement/crossface. Wedgie for Sasha and a yakuza kick to Bayley wins it for Charlotte.

Hot Lana introduces Ru-Ru! Rusev grounds and pounds him. Long chinlock by Rusev. CM PUNK CHANTS. DELETE! RUSEV! CRUSH! Now the crowd is hyped! Spear gets 2 because Lana pulls the ref out. Spear.  ROMAN, WHO WON THE WWE WORLD TITLE AT MANIA, GETS HIS NEW BIGGEST WIN EVER...THE US TITLE!  Universal Title match is up. Seth gets a PK! Owens mocks him for the architect moniker. Seth gets his ribs worked over and they trade frog splashes. Jericho distracts Seth, who eats the package sideslam for 2. Pedigree gets 2 thanks to Jericho putting KO's foot on the rope. Another pedigree, but the ref is out. New ref is out, powerbomb hits and wins. Ugh. This show really got no one over.

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NXT 9-21-16

The show begins with a recap of Samoa Joe's path of destruction and stating that maybe he went too far before, before he kicked Nakamura's ass too. Joe brags about hurting Nakamura and runs down the medical report - stating he could be out of action for 6-12 weeks! He wants the title off of him, but Regal comes down and says the information is correct - but he hasn't spoken to him and he isn't a normal person. Oney Lorcan faces Aries. Asuka intimidates Liv by staring at her.
 
Lorcan looks good here with some impressive strikes, but lands tailbone-first on the apron for a break. Lorcan recovers and hip attacks him in the corner twice, but he avoids the third one and sends his tailbone into the apron again before Aries dives onto him. Lorgan uppercuts him twice and gets 2. Aries avoids a blockbuster and eats a rolling elbow, the corner dropkick and lands a GTS from a suplex position before the Last Chancery ends it. Aries has Lorcan's blood on his chest before Itami comes down and Aries leaves.

Dan Matha hype video - he debuts in two weeks. Ciampa and Gargano talk about the CWC and the NXT Tag champs, who then beat them down. Aliyah comes down to face Billie Kay. They have a technically fine match that falls apart when Aliyah is on offense. Her uppercuts in particular look awful, but a neckbreaker gets 2 for her. The boot ends it with a win for Kay. Sanity hype video. Asuka faces Liv Morgan next week. Cedric comes down to face Almas, who has a vest now instead of suspenders.

Cedric takes down Almas with fast action before they flip around a ton and a big Almas shot leads to a dive and a break. Cedric lands a nice uppercut and a tope con hilo! An Almas moonsault block gets 2. Lumbar Check wins for Cedric! Nothing show, sadly.

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