Friday, March 27, 2015

TNA Impact Wrestling 3-27-15

In some rather horrible news for TNA, Destination America has cancelled all of TNA's Saturday programming. This stuff was a fun watch and allowed you to catch up on Impact pretty quickly if you missed it the night before. Plus, the ratings were good for a while. I guess that changed, and how bad does something have to tank for DA to cancel it? Their viewership ceiling is low, and if I was Dixie, I'd be sending Spike execs many apology cakes and thank yous right about now. They're at least still doing the Greatest Matches show - at 3 AM for a new show and 4 AM for a rerun. Pre-TNA programming on DA is a show about drunk-driving - it's not quite Cops, but still amusing.

More typos. Drew's part two thing was good. Drew was happy in WWE and was IC Champion - he looked up to the IC Champions and then he got to hold it. He wrestled The Undertaker and even held the tag titles. The first guy to beat him in WWE was Taker and he enjoyed 3MB too. He says he's proud to be what no one else will be - Vince's chosen guy, and while he appreciates that, he wants the fans to choose the guy now. We see some photos of him in the UK facing Sheamus and having Mick raise his hand, as well as stand beside Barrett.

This was so much better than part 1, and he came off as such a great guy wanting to be in wrestling school at 10 and begging for four years to train in England. "Let's talk about what's best for business - what you use Drew Galloway to the best of his ability, that's great for business!" They cut out Kurt being interrupted, but didn't both to change Taz's "why would you interrupt Kurt?" rant during Storm's intro. They kept in the full intros for the World Title match - this really was a fantastic show. I liked it at the time, and enjoyed it more upon a second viewing.

Unlocked Gallery - http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/5r5dkdljc1mf3nyid9gulwbtfhu138j8

Show-opening video covers the Jeff bump. Taz is in Under Armbar in the studio while Josh has a giant hoodie on. Storm and Koya come out with the new faux-stone set that also has a nice vertical tron off to the side along with two big video screens on the main stage. It's a fantastic-looking set and the best non-BFG set in company history. Storm gets a "Hardy" chant and tells them to keep chanting, because HE ISN'T HERE! They've got a painted-up watermelon and toss it to the floor since it represents Jeff. Old school stuff there. Hardy hears enough of Storm and comes down. Jeff says it's time to lock themselves into the cage and end the Revolution. Manik goes to break the arm, but he eats a Twist. Abyss jumps him and tells the camera guy to get out of the way while he gets a chair. Hardy takes him out with the chair. Hardy asks the guy to lower the roof, and he does. Jeff's long brown hair looks good - it's nice and wavy. Storm gets muted saying the hero blanks - so presumably, they nixed "die" here. Despite the roof being lowered, that will be the main event and not the opener. Well, that makes sense card-wise, but not really logic-wise.

 


Ki's title loss is recapped. I like the underlying thing here being them trying to take a case, and then losing a title via a case. BDC talks about losing Joe and the X Title, and tonight, they need to make a statement. Best of Sting DVD ad shows a lot of cool HD shots of Sting. Storm rants about the guys who failed him, and he told Koya that this is his time to shine. YEAH JEFFF!!!! Koya rules. Low-Ki's out to face ROCKSTAR SPUD! Spud comes out in blue and white, with gold trim - it's is a good look for him. He's also got his hair super-short, which sells the shaving stip logically. Ki starts by CHOPPING THE DAYLIGHTS out of Spud. Ki takes him down, rolls through into a side choke and then turns it into some ground and pound. Hot damn that was a great little Fire Pro Returns sequence.

 
 
 
 


Spud fires back with punches. Ki nails some chop and eats some too. Ki avoids a sunset flip with a snap double stomp. Ki wants a ref stoppage here and demands a count. Ki misses a charge and eats punches. Pele hits after a chop. Running tornado DDT by the champ, who pulls off the bowtie. BDC comes down, but Drew Galloway's out to counter them. Spud gets a small package and the win...with kind of a blah finish, but a fun match. Spud hops into Drew's arms as he waves goodbye - loved that.

 


MVP talks smack about the fans and says he'll attack them if Drew doesn't come down. Drew merges Scott Hall's survey (which was taken from Family Feud) with the Yes chant from Daniel Bryan (and originated with Diego Sanchez). Drew runs wild with some backup joining him in the form of two new guys. He said THIS IS THE RISING...and didn't name the guys. A FANTASTIC video package on Kong airs. They changed her voice a bit, but unlike WWE, actually did it well. They showed her destroying Taryn and Gail while flailing around with a variety of lights flashing. Another hype video for the Sting DVD. BDC talks about the new guys while MVP says they play the numbers game better than anyone, and it's time to bring "him" in.

 
 

Brooke comes out while Josh talks about her trending on Twitter. She's battling KONG! Josh talks about Taz bossing him around before and then they bicker for fucking ages. The match itself is perfect - just Brooke bouncing off Kong. Awesome Bomb countered into an X factor by Brooke. Flying elbow gets 2. Brooke gets caught off the top and chokeslammed. Kong wins with the Implant Buster. She gets a second one and sets up a table. Before she can attack, Taryn comes down in street clothes. She runs wild with forearms and dropkicks before low-bridging her. Kong chucks her into the steps violently. Taryn gets powerbombed through the table and has her thong revealed as a result. Recap of Angle-Lashley. Aries says he'll cash in the case tonight for the show's second celebration.



Jeff Hardy talks about Hardy's Revenge tonight. Koya attacks him, but eats a beating and lets out an "oh shit!" after being hit with a ladder. Koya gets up and eats a beer bottle. I love the return of the Extreme Enigma - that was really fun on SD. After TWO MORE BEER BOTTLE SHOTS, Koya stays down. Kurt came down and you can really appreciate the new setup because they've made it look like several thousand people are there. EC3 says Kurt inspires him, and a dueling HE CAN'T WRESTLE/YES HE CAN chant broke out. EC3's new white and bronze gear looks good. Bobby Roode came down to talk about being THE IT FACTOR and so on. Then a generic theme hits. It's EY and he KEEPS THE FEUD WITH BOBBY ROODE GOING FOR CHRIST KNOWS WHAT REASON. HE HAS LOST THE SECOND BIG MATCH OUT OF TWO BIG MATCHES WITH THE GUY. "The World Championship goes through Eric Young - I HOLD THE FATE OF THE WORLD TITLE!" Then Aries came down. Love Aries virgin-shaming EC3 over not being the World Champion. He offers Kurt champagne, which is a horrid idea. Angle says he'll fight anyone at any time. Lashley comes down and tells him he wants a rematch. Everyone fights and then Ken Anderson comes down.

 

Everyone but Kurt and Lashley is still out there in a 6-man tag. Backbreaker>springboard elbow from the Dirty Heels rules. LOL @ Taz saying he's an EY fan, but no, the World Title goes through him. EC3 loses the brace, but has a big pad on the arm underneath. Aries dives to the pile and Roode slams EY off the top. Austin gets his knee taken out and EY gets the win with a figure four, instantly getting that over as a lethal move for him. Next week, we get Lashley-Angle II, Bram vs. Magnus in a street fight, and some other form of a Roode vs. EY match.

 
 
 
 
 
THE KING OF HARDCORE BRAM came down. Bram says coward and get Whatted while saying that Mickie has more balls that Magnus does. Bram heels on Magnus's son and that's enough for him.  Mr. and Mrs. Mickie James came down to tell him that they'll need more than cops and rent-a-cops to separate them if he talks about his kid. Bram tells him to fight, while Magnus says he wants to fight all over. So after it's announced, we get the setup for the street fight. Mickie cuts the best promo on the show saying that Magnus is going to tear Bram's pube beard out and kick his ass. Bram responds by saying that he'll kick Magnus's ass, but don't worry - his door's always open for her. Awesome. Bram in...black and pink and white gear...fought with the buckle. Bram goes for a boot kiss and a regular kiss, but gets German suplexed out of a dip. This was excellent. Hardy highlight reel inside cages sets up the main event.

 

Josh runs down THE FIRST EVER BELL TO BELL show and Kurt talks about wanting Lashley next week. Hardy comes out to a huge reaction while singing his song, slapping hands, and staring down Storm. Hardy gets a headscissors, but eats a trip on the top rope and takes a great bump. Fun match so far.

 

We come back to Storm hitting some punches. They replay the bump and it looks a lot safer with this angle since you can see him take the bump on his back and then roll to his shoulder, whereas the first angle made it seem like a shoulder bump. Jeff ducks the superkick and gets the Twisto Stunner. Swanton leads to knees to the back. THE WORST EYE OF THE STORM IN HUMAN HISTORY hits for 2. Lung blower and the superkick combo gets 2.5. Storm gets the cowbell, but Jeff ducks and throws Storm into the corner chair. Swanton hits and gets 2.5! Storm gets a low blow. Storm goes for a kendo stick, but it's stuck. Hardy hits him with a can. Storm is trapped between Jeff and the cage and gets some monkey bar kicks of varying quality and a rana for 2.9. Hardy hits him with a can lid to set up THE COWBELL SHOT for poetic justice, a Twist. He goes up top to the cage though and gets a monkey bar momentum splash for the win. Neat finish - they at least used the cage in some pretty unique and/or rare ways to make it seem worthwhile. They also didn't have interference, UNLIKE LOCKDOWN, so they actually did the Lockdown idea better here than at the all-cage show. Jeff has really leaned out - he looks good.


 
 
 
 
 


Screen Gallery 1 - 
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/8a3xzt2u1fw677uytcnhnkd2cdzyxnu5

Gallery 2 -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/5f7mpq0o4sanyglnd701tskusk95yic4


Monday, March 23, 2015

Raw 3-23-15


Generic show intro - so no graphic for Perro unless they do something mid-show. Woohoo! STING STARTS OFF THE SHOW! Sting says he's not here to fight a war for WCW - THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS! Just what I always imagined when I thought of Sting's first WWE Raw promo - STEPH! WCW was a small fish? Well, then how were they able to kick WWE's ass for so long? Sting was compared to a dog, who also hurt a Steph-involved WM build. Steph said that HHH would beat Sting, so that might not happen. Steph keeps going on and on about dogs, but Sting blocks a slap. HERE COMES THE BOARDROOM BADASS, THE GAME, THE KING OF KINGS, HHH! HHH gets the hammer. "I'm gonna swing this bat around, and if you get hit with it, it's your own fault!" So this was a thing. WHAT AN ORGANIC SEGUE TO THE DAMN APP! You can vote for Orton's opponent tonight. Paige or AJ face Nikki later and Truth and Dean face Harper and Stardust next.

 
 

There's a match going on here and we've got JBL going on about betting and Barrett being the FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME IC Champion. If they're just going to talk about whatever the fuck they want to, there is literally no point to guys taking bumps. Just play jacks mid-ring, or thumb wrestle. Mid-match chinlock after the break. JBL AND BARRETT TALKED ABOUT SOCCER. Truth got the loosest Lil Jimmy for the win ever, and danced with Dean.

SD is just going to be all about Axxess, so that will be quite skippable. Special Olympics video. WWE LOVES THE DIFFERENTLY-ABLED! Unless they have Bell's Pallsy. HE CAN. AND HE WIN. BELIEVE THAT. So yeah, that wasn't quite as great as Brock saying he's just going to fuck this man up. JBL buried paying $65 for WM. Un-fucking-believable. Of all the shows to bury the PPV on, WHY THIS ONE?! YOU'RE CHARGING MORE FOR IT THAN ANY OTHER SHOW! And WM resulting in tons of people online means that WWE absolutely needs a problem-free show. WOOHOO! A TEN GEEK TAG! Miz and Mizdow are out, why, I have no idea. They've had 80 breakups now. Miz of course is interested in Get Hard. Interview with Ferrell and Kevin Hart about their angle. I COULD SEE THE WHOLE THING ON THE SITE. No thanks. The "best of" was already shit.


There's no SD, so they have three hours to sell people on THIS WrestleMania card and they're doing a horrendous job of doing so. This giant tag is a thing to hype up the battle royal, with Bill Simmons with a five o' clock shadow and a track suit. This is the second match of...well, two matches so far where they should just thumb wrestle and not take bumps because of the commentary. Ryback's got red and black on, so he looks far better tonight than usual. Ryback beat Miz with the Shellshock for the 10th time. Simmons talked about getting all the PPVs for the cost of 2 with the Network and they recapped Sting and Orton and the TWO HOUR KICK OFF SHOW FOR WM.

It's astonishing to see Kofi in this big company-wide hype video package. This "My Hero Is" thing is goofy though. Orton's out for his match against whoever. "He's finally going to get his hands on Seth Rollins". He already did that and killed him with many kinds of death. Seth and J and J won. Goons get beaten up and eat a double draping DDT. Amusing bit where Seth goes for the stomp during the RKO setup, but Orton gets up, goes for an RKO to Seth leading to a lariat that sends Mercury to the floor. RKO to Noble and that's it. Cena-Rusev hype should involve the Rusev hype. So far, it's just a Cena interview. THERE IS DOCUMENTED PROOF that Cena loves America. Hell of a line there. SWAGGER VS. RUSEV TONIGHT in match 9,000 in their series. Dolph-Bryan recap sets up a rematch with a guest ref angle for whatever reason. Also, Snoop.

 


Snoop came down and then AXELMANIA RAN WILD! Divas title match ruled. Snoop introduced the REAL MANIA. HULKAMANIA! COME ON, LET AXEL RUN INTO HIS FIST! HE DID. THIS RULED!  Roman says words. AND HERE'S BROCK LESNAR BEATING THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF MOTHERFUCKERS.

Matadores are out to face the champs, and the tag title match is back to being a 4-way with Uso back and now it's on the kickoff. It's an interspecies rematch. Okay then. Bull beats Nattie with the sunset flip. Kane threatened Barrett with taking the title from him SO THEY COULD PUT IT ABOVE THE RING TONIGHT. NOT AT WM. TONIGHT. They announced a random 8-man tag for SD.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Rusev's mid-ring. Cloud Strife for the win! Shockingly huge pop for Swagger and "We the People!" WE WANT LANA! Ha! Well, they seemingly broke them up here by having Cole explain that there's a rift due to her giving Cena the title match. You'll never guess, but Rusev beat Swagger. Good heat for this though and they used this as a backdrop to sell the rest of the WM card. Cena runs down to make the save and grounds and pounds him. Cena's punches look like badly-animated punches in a video game. Rusev tosses Cena over the table into the chairs and takes a nasty bump. Rusev roars and hits the big running superkick on the floor. Rusev locked on the Accolade and Cena passed out. Wow. Awesome! Booker, the semi-active wrestler, was outraged over refs not getting Rusev off of Cena. I wouldn't mind a Rusev-Booker match, actually - Booker can go, and lose without any real harm. This was so great.

 


Bray cut an awesome promo while Taker's special effects played on. He did his kneeling pose while thunder played. That was such an effective build for WM, so of course they threw to VOTING FOR THE GUEST REF right after it.Rick Rubin should play Luke Harper's father. HOF video for KEVIN NASH AKA DIESEL! Kidd and Nattie had. A SUBTLE. BURGER KING. AD!  The chicken fries now induce orgasms.


Bryan and Dolph came out for their match. Dean's the ref. "I'M THE LAW AND ORDER!" Dean needs more zeros in his paycheck. Cole asked his partners about what it means to be IC Champion. Yup. Booker's epic IC Title run of like three weeks. Ditto JBL's where he lost it to Rey in seconds. THERE. IS. A. MATCH. GOING. ON. and these fuckers are talking about JBL not being on Booker's doc. Cole recapped the turd deal. Great - I'd just forgotten about that. Lariat over into the timekeeper's area before the break. YOU GUYS NEED TO GET BACK IN THE RING! Oh yeah, there's a Brock-Roman face to face thing tonight. Here I thought these guys would be given time for this "classic" that Cole hyped up.

 
 

 Super X Factor gets 2. Corner kicks by Bryan set up the dropkick, but he eats a superkick and a Zig Zag for the win. This was good - not a classic that Cole hyped it up as. Thank God Dean attacked Dolph or else Kane's plan to put the title above the ring would've just been stupid. Everyone brawled. Everyone was down and then the belt was still up...so this was a thing. They're so worried about the health of ALL OF THESE MEN WHO JUST DID RISKY SHIT that they almost changed their tone for half a second.

Paul Heyman cut one of his best promos ever that was so good that even Brock Lesnar was in visible awe for quite a while. Roman came down and got a "LET'S GO LESNAR!" CHANT. Roman grabbed the belt and got booed. Tug of war over the belt ended the show...yeah that wasn't great.


Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/bv3ddkkk265zl3sb2ne71nmo14wsl6ew