WWE SmackDown Live 7-19-16

The show begins with Bryan's theme playing, Shane doing the yes bit, and Steph and Mick standing at their podium. For some reason that hasn't been explained, Raw gets the first draft pick. Steph buries pandering and then says no one does it better than Mick, who panders to the crowd before Steph yells a bit in a red and white Raw dress. Mick goes to make the pick, but gets interrupted by Steph as she announces Seth. It's 8:02 and Steph is already dominating the show. Shane praises them for having Crossfit Jesus, stammers, and Steph buries him. Daniel Bryan introduces Dean Ambrose as their pick. Raw gets Charlotte and presumably the women's division. SD gets AJ. Why not do matches and then picks like they've done before? This is literally slightly more exciting than just reading the draft picks. Raw gets Finn and then Cena comes out.

Luke is his opponent here and AJ already has an SD shirt on. With only 24 hours passing between the shows, WWE doing the same basic thing on every show is going to stick out even more. Sing along with Enzo. Enzo has moved around more just during the SAWFT bit than Cass has done in every match on the main roster. They start off and then go to ads, with the match shown via PIP. WWE is literally asking people to watch the show, the show's ads, and then the second screen stuff all at once.

Luke gets an elbow and slams him for 2. Kneeling elbows and a nerve pinch are locked on. Enzo and Cass backdrop the other Club guys out. Why isn't that a DQ? AA wins. This was nothing. Champions vs. Challengers is up with Zack and Darren facing Miz and Rusev in a Toyota-sponsored match. Draft time again, and Mick says Steph will respect him with this pick - Roman Reigns. Roman to Raw. BOOOOOO! Steph and Mick argue, but can't be heard because of boos. Cena is going to SD. The lack of roster reactions really hurts this. It helped prior draft shows and hell, made Battlebowl shows better. Steph announces that Brock is going to Raw. Orton goes to SD, so that will apparently be the only hype show for Summerslam's true main event. So weird to have Orton and Brock on different shows. Steph trying to do Big E's intro was cringe-worthy. New Day on Raw.

Toyota tag gets no intros. Ryder kicks Miz, but gets pulled off the top by Miz. "Darren Young was never great - how can you make him great again? He was a tag team champion - that doesn't make him great!" King was just awful with this. Young hits the Gut Check, but Rusev kicks him to make it a 2. Ryder dropkicks Rusev off the apron and Young makes Miz tap to the chickenwing to a fairly big reaction.

Bray comes out to face Woods, who is already in the ring with the New Day. Woods is in a trance and does nothing for a while until Bray hits him. Uranage hits hard. High knee hits Bray, but Bray hits Sister Abigail and wins.

Kane is mid-ring to face Owens, who gets a huge pop. Owens argues with Mick and then Sami jumps him. Why would Sami go for a sneak attack with his theme playing? Owens tells Kane to chokeslam Sami, but Kane chokeslams them both. There is essentially zero reason to actually have wrestling matches tonight given how they've meant nothing. Sami goes to Raw and Bray goes to SD. Sasha goes to Raw, while Steph tries to do the "boss" pose. Bryan talks about Mick's weird fascination with the women, and Bryan picks Becky. Maybe one show gets the WWE Women's Title and the other show gets the NXT Women's Title. Mick gets a sheet of paper out of a trash bag for his next pick - Chris Jericho. We get clips of Draft Center on the Network with Dean hyping up going to SD. Sasha faces Dana and Charlotte next. Why would the SD babyface rulers book a face vs. two heels in a match?

 

 Becky cuts a promo on the Network, and then Jericho does one shirtless. Heels are out first, then Sasha and we get a recap of the Raw stuff. New, more revealing angle for the Becky wedgie. Sasha runs wild on Charlotte. Stop doing the double knees on the floor, like immediately, if you want to be able to walk easily at 30. Dana kills her with a lariat, and is in some awful gear. This gear comes off as a Dusty-level rib on Dana. Backstabber and Bank statement, but Charlotte blind tags in, gets the facebuster and wins. Rusev and Lana to Raw.

 

 
Raw gets Rusev, and Steph kills "crush" by doing it a billion times. SD picks Miz, and Bryan says he hated to do it - nice bit of continuity here. Owens goes to Raw. SD gets Corbin, and Raw gets the Certified Gs. Cesaro vs. Jericho is up and Cesaro gets 2 off a crossbody. On the newtwork, Owens says "The attitude is because I know I'm the best thing going!" Owens is great! Then we get some stuff between them and the Certified Gs. Jericho should just keep working in this shirt. Now we've got the commentators talking about RATINGS RATINGS RATINGS! Swing by Cesaro, but the Codebreaker wins. Cole says that Jericho gets better with age, like win - giving Mauro a chance to bust out the "vintage" line - but Cole buries him for it.'Zo showing his Jordans off is legit better than most of SD so far.

After a break, Nattie and Becky brawl on the floor. Mauro says they'll go at it on Sunday like Kim and Taylor. Gallows and Anderson go to Raw - so The Club ends on the PPV and maybe the Balor Club starts on Raw. SD gets AMERICAN ALPHA! Mick picks Big Show for Raw. Shane references his Jack and the Beanstalk promo on Big Show from...16 years ago? Dolph goes to SD. Nia Jax is going to be on Raw.

 

Steph brings Neville to Raw - so he'll be the cruiserweight showcase guy. Bryan picks Nattie for SD. Cesaro to Raw. Guy who jobbed to D-Young, Alberto Deli Rio to SD. SD is saved! Mick picks Sheamus as a former World Champ. Boy do ADR and Sheamus reinforce how meaningless the "former world champion" label is now. At 9:36, Cole references the post-show draft and acts like they've already talked about it on the show.

Main event is up. Seth stomps Dean and hits a falcon arrow for 2. Long chinlock...boy is this show just a drag. It's not just Raw being three hours that causes it to drag, it's the way WWE formats everything so that it all just feels like it goes on forever. There's no real flow or sense of pacing. Dean misses a barricade dive and eats a flying knee and kneeling superkick for 2.

 

Buckle bomb hits, but a high fly flow misses. A la majistral cradle gets 2 for Dean. CM Punk chant and Dean hits a suicide dive. Seth hits a superplex, but Dean avoids the falcon arrow,  hits the Dirty Deeds and wins. Shane, Dean, and Bryan celebrate.

 

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G1 Climax 2016 Night 1

The show begins with a highlight reel of past G1 events - including Tenzan's amazing run a couple of years ago. Usual nothing billion person tag starts things off as Shibata, Nakanishi, Liger, and Tiger Mask IV face Honma, KUSHIDA, Taguchi, and Captain New Japan. Taguchi saves KUSHIDA from a Liger surfboard using his as. KUSHIDA creates tons of movement for Liger flipping and running all over the place so Liger can take dropkicks. Honma lands some headbutts to Liger and Taguchi gets a flying chop. Liger palm strikes and tilt a whirls KUSHIDA. Captain runs wild against Shibata before Shibata has exactly enough of his shit and just clocks him. Nakanishi attacks iwth slow moves and beats Captain with a torture rack neckbreaker.

Kojima and Juice Robinson face Yano and Nakajima next. Nakajima is THE GENIUS OF THE KICK and from NOAH, so I haven't seen him much. Yano's tron including faces and schoolboy cradles rules. Kojima's theme sounds like it should be in F-Zero GX.Billion forearms from Kojima to Nakajima to start. Yano and Juice come in for an out of ring brawl. Lots of buffering. Juice runs wild on Yano, but THE GENIUS OF THE KICK kicks him in the back. Kojima beats up Nakajima on the floor, but he comes in and brainbusters Juice for the win. Omega and Takahashi beat Gedo and Yoshi-Hashi in a nothing match. Comedy Omega doesn't work as well as main event Omega. Omega's t-shirt and wacky shorts getup didn't work either. Elgin and Nakata and Finlay face Naito, Evil, and Bushi

 

 Elgin's double double and giant weight vest rules. Lots of fast action in here from EVIL, whose black and purple gear rules. Set of codebreakers on Finlay ends it, and Naito and Nagata had tremendous chemistry throughout this. Naito mocking him after the match was hilarious.

Tenzan's out to face Ishii in slick red and black gear with gold trim. Tieups lead to a Mongolian chop missing from Tenzan and Ishii hitting chops. They ram together and we get a forearm exchange. Tenzan Mongolian chops him down. Ishii gets a hard liftup suplex, but Tenzan stomps a mudhole in him for a while and hits one of his own. Kojima cheering Tenzan on gives this a nice sense of importance. Ishii goes for a superplex, but Tenzan avoids it, so Ishii forearms him some more. Tenzan gets a super-scary inverted calf branding. A diving headbutt gets 2 and we get some sick headbutt exchanges and a TTD. Tenzan hits a big lariat and a moonsault wins it! This ruled! Tenzan hugs Kojima for giving him his spot and one last chance to shine. It's a simple, easy story to tell and it works perfectly without a single word being spoken.

 

Tama Tonga faces Makabe, and I love his new gear and draping spinning neckbreaker. Lots of hard elbows on the ground by Tama and then some big headbutts and more forearm smashes. Great Stinger splash by Tonga. Flying knee hits for Makabe and gets the win. Good-ish match, but nothing too amazing.

Goto is up against Fale. Poor Goto.  Fale is slow even tossing Goto in the barricade. The Hand Grenade gets 2 and Goto avoids the Razor's Edge, hits a headbutt and locks on a long sleeper leading to the modified Final Cut for the win. Goto did his best, and it was thankfully kept short.

 

Tanahasih's return match is against Sanada - and it's Sanada's biggest match in his career by far. As I stated in the Observer preview, Sanada absolutely needs to be booked strongly here to be an effective long-term guy. Sanada's Punisher tanktop and black leather pants work for the heel act, but aren't a good look for a main eventer. Tana's new red and white with blue and black trim gear rules.

 

 

 

Lots of side headlock exchanges with Sanada rushing around creating a lot of movement. Great heel antics by Sanada where he kicks the rope into Tana's balls to get an edge. They brawl on the floor and Sanada drop toeholds him on the barricade. He works over the arm giving them reasons for Tana being slower than he would be normally. Sanada's leapfrogs are absolutely gorgeous and they lead to a dropkick ala AJ. Tana gets a dragon screw on the ropes. Tana's high angle cloverleaf is fantastic. Sanada gets a springboard dropkick, but he can't follow up due to the knee damage.

Sanada lands the forearm combo, but Tana just kicks his knee to get the edge. Forearm exchange leads to a European uppercut exchange too. Sanada gets a dragon sleeper with a grapevine that gets a 2 on the arm drop and Tana BARELY GETS THE ROPES! Sanada blocks the miss on a moonsault Sanada gets a rolling reverse cradle into a dragon sleeper, but it's countered by Tana into a swinging neckbreaker. SLINGBLADE gets 2. Sanada avoids a dragon suplex, but eats an arm-trap German suplex for 2.

This match is absolutely amazing - they're making Sanada a top guy in one night. Tana goes up top, stands perched and goes for a High Fly Flow BUT SANADA GETS AN RKO IN MID-AIR FOR 2! Sanada slams him, hits a moonsault and gets 2.9. A second one hits and Sanada lifts him for another Dragon Sleeper and TANA TAPS! They made Sanada a top-level guy here - hopefully they keep up with the momentum.

 

 

Marafuji is out for his main event with Okada. Okada gets 2 off a neckbreaker. They fight on the floor for a bit and go back in for arm work on Okada - smart way to avoid the Rainmaker. A Fujiwara armbar further aids Marafuji, who lands some super-stiff chops against the ropes too. A backflip into a dropkick sends Okada to the floor while a HUGE over the top plancha hits. Marafuji goes for the sliced bread, but can't get it and Okada gets the over the knee Schwein for 2. Flying elbow and the Rainmaker pose, BUT THE RAINMAKER IS AVOIDED!

Superkick and a sliced bread, but it's avoided and Okada dropkicks him up top. Marafuji avoids a corner tombstone and hits a series of kicks, but Okada recovers and goes for another Rainmaker. It's a avoided, but he still lands a German. Marafuji recovers and hits a pump knee strike before hitting a fisherman's buster into an Emerald Flowsion for the win! This was another outstanding match and they have effectively made two long-term main eventers in one night.

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WCW Great American Bash 1991 Part 1

 A new Wayback Playback is up and I've got two days off - so what the heck, let's give the "WE WANT FLAIR!" show a shot. We start with a shot of some very early '90s fans. We get the world's best Dennis Stamp lookalike taking tickets as the cameraman plays the role of a fan entering the building. It's as exciting as having a ticket taken and not sitting down can be.

The scaffold match is up first with Austin and Taylor facing PN News and Bobby Eaton - as divergent a team as have ever existed. Lady Blossom is with Austin, and Pat goes over her maritial history with Austin, Chris Adams, and Billy Jack Haynes. Pat points out how stupid this stip is to have for an opener with two teams that have no history either as opponents or allies beyond Eaton and Austin briefly feuding over the TV Title. The scaffold is ungodly high here too - fortunately, it's a grab the flag match!

So they kind of "solve" one risk by not requiring a bump, but of course you're still a billion feet in the air and can fall off if you get woozy. Neon everything is not a flattering color, and all of the various angles on PN's gear make him even fatter. They talk about Dusty loving the PN News gimmick, but being out of touch with rap as Vanilla Ice was over by that point. Bobby struggles to remove the flag, does so, and then the faces get powder to the eyes. Bobby won by grabbing the flag and Terry takes a bump off the top rope and everyone brawls.

 

We go to Jim Ross and Tony, whose hair is light brown! Pat talks about a far better scaffold match being Koko Ware against Bill Dundee in Memphis, which I'll watch later. Arn is with Paul E., dressed in a very '91 outfit of zubaz and a black with neon pink and green jacket. Ross talks about Barry and Lex having issues years ago to build up tonight's match. Sting vs. Nikita Koloff in a Russian chain match ishyped up. DDP and the Diamond Stud get a few sparklers while DDP is dressed in a ridiculous outfit even by his standards. Hall is also in some hilarious stuff.

Stud has the toothpick and flicks it at the camera long before Razor. Z-Man comes out with tons of hot chicks. Zenk dives in and hits a double lariat onto both, resulting in DDP taking a bump. DDP low bridges Zenk and we get Stud dominating and boy is his gear awful. Yellow with blue text and a giant diamond. Pat and Jim talk about how the Diamond Stud is an improvement over every other gimmick that was much worse or just nothing than this. Hall lays in some nice chops. Stud cheats holding the ropes and Pat and Jim talk about how DDP paid to fly himself in everywhere because of all the club money he made.

Stud takes him down with the chokeslam, but he poses and only gets 2. This balding guy with a skullet and a suit-style t-shirt is amusing. They brawl and Z-Man brings DDP in a after he gets slapped. A bridging back suplex gets the win for the Stud. We get OZ! YES!

 

This is so amazingly bad. The movie license tie-in is here to face Ron Simmons. Nash's grey hair is great - and it's probably his actual hair color at the time. They talk about how great it is to have a guy who can't bump for Ron and a guy who can't fly for Oz - perfect style matchup! Tony talks about how each guy does squats. Long top wristlock. Nash can't even take a good drop toehold here. Nash bumps over the top for a lariat, and his boot is falling apart. THE CROWD POPPED! Long test of strength here. Future World Champion Nash tosses Future World Champion Ron Simmons on the floor and The Great Wizard stomps him. Hug of bears is locked on. Ron wins with a flying shoulder tackle! Mr. Shirt Suit Guy is unamused.

WCW'S TOP TOP RANKINGS. I love this idea. Robert Gibson gets a mild pyro and mild reaction for his match against Richard Morton. Richard Morton's business mullet and bright silver and purple gear are amazing. I love the brawl on the ramp. Morton's gear is off too - with purple on the right side and white on the left for the trunks and white on the right and purple on the left for the tights. Alexandra York's getup is astonishing too.

 

Morton also has a ponytail mullet. Everything about this rules. Minus the match. It's fine-ish, but nothing amazing. Bill Alfonso is the ref hear looking like he's on day 2 of a 10 day bender - so downright young compared to his ECW days. Morton snaps the leg on the post. Gibson's white, neon green, and red gear is something else. Morton works on the leg, which is good - but does too much near the rope, so that's kinda stupid. Morton tears the gear up to reveal the knee pads and braced protecting his surgically-repaired knee. Jim and Pat talk about during Robert's team with Ricky Gibson, he actually played Ricky's role in the matches.

Figure 4 by Richard leads to 2 guys chanting for Rock 'n Roll. Tuxedo Suit guy is unamused by this stuff. Gibson FINALLY reverses the figure 4, which hurts Morton thanks to wrestling physics. Robert fights from his knees and they talk about how much better the tape version was because they nixed matches for the VHS. After several more centuries of working on the knee, we get more working on the knee. If you need to full out a Ricky Morton moveset in a game, this is the match to do it with. Gibson gets a DDT! The red, white, and blue ring apron remains good-looking today. Dropkick misses for Gibson, so Morton gets the leg avalanche. Ricky goes for a calf branding, but gets slammed and Gibson hits an enzuiguri. They each go for a dropkick on the ramp and York distracts so Morton hits him with the word processor to win. Holy Jesus was this an awful use of two legends.

Part 2 will be up once the show's up on the Torch site.