Wednesday, April 5, 2023

AEW Dynamite 4-5-23 - FTR vs. The Gunns - Careers vs Titles


It's a loaded show tonight with FTR fighting for their careers against the Ass Boys for the titles. Ricky Starks comes out to face Juice Robinson and his shitty theme, but JAY WHITE RETURNS AND BEATS HIS ASS! TK tweets the all elite graphic! He's got his New Japan theme and name intact too.


Big Cole vs. Garcia recap with some filmic footage and setting up Cole vs. Jericho. Jericho talks about feeling disrespected and Grampa Keith Lee comes in and says Jericho has no respect, but may have some after they have a match next week. Trios tag title time with the House of Black coming out looking all badass before facing the Best Friends and Orange Cassidy.



TRENT'S MOM SUE and her mini-van are back! Rampage and Battle of the Belts VI are up on Friday. Trent goes to the mat for a bit with Black before eating some shots to the gut. Brody hits a basement crossbody before OC dives onto Buddy and Malakai an eats a double snake eyes before Trent dives and gets a double powerbomb on the apron!


Cool spot where OC ducks a Brody bodypress and BECAUSE OC DUCKED NEXT TO THE ROPE, he dove onto his partners. Double chokeslam/OC powerbomb by the faces before LFI comes out! Bossman slam hits for Brody before Trent gets the basement busaiku! OC kicks Black, who hits a teep kick and eats a stundog. Trent piledrives Buddy, Black, and wants Brody, but Brody slugs his way free! ORANGE PUNCH SETS UP THE PILEDRIVER! Murphy's Law countered by a victory roll by Chucky T gets 2! Big shot lands on Chuck ends it. Great match. Christian goes to backstage heel and BRINGS BACK EVIL MORE EVIL THAN EVER LUCHASAURUS!





Hayter vs. Riho is up for the women's world title and this should be a banger - like Hayter's theme. Nice pin exchange early on before Jamie lands the gutbuster for. APRON WARFARE leads to an apron uranage for the champion! Headscissor into the tiger feint kick gets 2 off a crossbody! MASSIVE lariat from Hayter hits for 2.9! 


Riho and Jamie fight up top! Super rana by Riho! Double stomp and Jamie gets her foot on the rope! SHORT-ARM HAYTERADE HITS AND ONLY GETS 2.9! She screams in anger! Dead-on Hayterade hits hard and wins it! This ruled! The Outcasts cut a promo on Jamie saying they're going to take the title from her. Renee asks who would go for it and Saraya tells her to stop stirring the pot.


JAS is out with Daddy Magic in the most 1995 jacket possible. The Acclaimed rap buries them and George Santos, but JAS is too stupid to get it and makes a tag match for Rampage. MJF Day is next! But first, a recap of Jay White's debut! MJF Day recap before he gets a big band music intro and he cuts a promo. MJF sings "Pennies From Heaven" and the supervisor of the city cuts a promo and gets booed. He gets the key to the city. 




"Jungle Boy, all you've got is a girlfriend with a wandering eye and a small penis!" He cuts a promo on ADD and his 8th grade teacher Mrs. Benedict, who insulted him daily and now he's the World Champ, he's got the key to the city and it's MJF day forever and she's just a stupid bitch. MJF cutting a nice character babyface promo here - good heel work at the end, but there is a killer babyface run in this character that began with the Punk feud.


He goes for an encore and insults the cymbalist, who unmasks to be JUNGLE JACK! They brawl and get separated. Sammy comes out to further the 4 Pillar battle before he picks up the belt and shows it to both guys before facing Komander. Sammy knees him before landing a top rope moonsault SO HIGH HE GOES OUT OF FRAME! Sammy leaps into a superkick! ROPEWALK SSP is just a thing Komander does.




Tiger feint from Komander into a springboard phoenix splash gets 2.9! Darby looks on from the rafters and goes for a ropewalk but eats a cutter! GTH hits and Sammy wins it. This was the best showcase Sammy has had on Dynamite since the Cody ladder match! He calls that MJF deal shit and that he actually wrestles! He says MJF beat him technically, but Shawn Spears and a chair beat him! MJF's side of the pillar was built by the people he tricked to get here. He says that at least he's himself and MJF has been in every group possible to be a "pillar". "I BUILT THIS SHIT BRICK BY BRICK!" 


Ethan Page is mid-ring with no intro to face HOOK in white and orange for the FTW Title. Ethan Page posts him on the floor and calls him an asshole. Page motions for the Twist and Hook counters WITH A TWIST OF HIS OWN! Matt Hardy locks him with the belt and REDRUM ends it! Nigel meets with Tony backstage and Tony talks about Cody Rhodes, the Bucks and Omega debuted ALL IN and in August, it returns to England! August 27, AEW All In comes to Wembley Stadium! WOW! Hey, they own the name - might as well use it! They're going big too as the Arena is where TNA ran and this Stadium is the replacement for the Summerslam '92 venue.



Yuta, Claudio and Mox come in to kick a whole bunch of ass in short-order! Mox and Claudio hit a spike piledriver on the floor before Yuta locks on a half-crab. York comes in and eats an RNC! Snap German by Yuta! Armbar/crossface by Yuta gets the tap! Crossface from Claudio and Danileson says he loves his family and HE LOVES THE BCC! EVEN YUTA, EVEN THOUGH HE'S A LITTLE SHITHEAD AND HE LOVES PRO WRESTLING! 


He says these guys look like IMPOTENT AMATEURS THAT THE EVPS BROUGHT IN AND THEY'RE THE ONLY PRO WRESTERS IN THIS BUILDING! Hangman Page disagrees! He stares them down but gets beaten up and Danielson calls him an amateur! As everyone kicks his ass, he calls them professionals and he loves them - BUT NO ONE LOVES HANGMAN! He says he's been teaching his kids to fix things and busts out a screwdriver and gouges his face with it!



MAIN EVENT TIME IS HERE! FTR get big main event lighting and the Gunns presentation is truly top tier. They got a 50 Cent song to work with, fancy lighting and a slick circular camera move! Ex talks about Dax's daughter wondering if "daddy's team" could ever lose. Dax fights from underneath and gets 2!




Rampage has Hook vs. Page 2 and a big Swerve announcement and Darby vs. Lee Moriarty and OC faces Dralistico, Billie Starks vs. Jade and the Lucha Bros face QT and Hobbs. Yikes. FTR spike piledriver gets 2! Big Rig and 3:10 are avoided. SHATTER MACHINE HITS FOR 2.9 thanks to Colten pulling the ref out - BUT THE REF WON'T DQ THEM! Fameasser from Austin hits for 2.9! BLATANT LOW BLOW TO DAX, but Paul won't call it! 



3:10 TO YUMA TO CASH! The Gunns slide belts in - fooling the ref with one, but not the other! BELT SHOT GETS 2.9999999! DOUBLE SUNSET FLIP GETS THE WIN FOR FTR! WE GOT NEW CHAMPS! Mark's out to celebrate with them and I would love a trios tag run wit the FTR Boys down the road!





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