WWE SD 9-12-14

Show opens with a Reigns-Seth recap from Raw. World's Strongest Team and the Usos are facing the Cosmic Twins and the Wyatts. Orton and Kane face Jericho and Reigns tonight. The Usos face the Twins, and the NoC graphic with the belts in gold and not bronze looks awesome. Great bump from Henry off a big boot from Harper, and it gets 2. Uso crossbody off the top on Harper gets 2 after a break. Assalanche leads to the Uso taking a bump over the top to sell the knee injury. Sunset flip gets 2. Show KOs Stardust, and Jey hits a splash for the win. Cena-Heyman recap kills time.

Orton and Seth had an evil meeting with Kane about all they did to the good guys on Raw, and talked about destroying Jericho and Reigns tonight. Orton's goofy emoting here was funny. The new Slim Jim ad is just stupid. If you buy Slim Jims, hot women will do things, whereas buying IMPOSTER MEAT STICKS makes you fodder for fat, hairy guys. Bo faces Justin Gabriel, with new gear that looks a bit less cool than his last black, red, and white stuff but still nice. Zeb and Swagger are at ringside, but not doing commentary. Chuckled at Bo cutting a promo right after the bell rang and naming himself America's sweetheart. Zeb cut a promo on Bo, IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME. And if he's inspirational, HE'S ARIANA FRIGGING GRANDE, AND HE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS! JBL lost his shot at that. Real Americans don't need to be Bo-Lieve, they need to say WE THE PEOPLE! JBL and Cole talked about Ariana Grande, how to say her name, and making fun of how old they are. Gabriel got a nice legsweep. Bodog wins, and Swagger's angry about dat wittle putty tat. Loved JBL calling Swagger Biff, leading to Cole saying Bo's going Back to the Future.

Summer and Layla get no intro. AJ's out for commentary while Paige faces Summer. AJ's got her wedding ring on. I like Layla dancing on the floor while Summer does a wacky headscissors. I love how AJ puts the title over as the most important thing in the world. Paige does the Black Widow perfectly for a win. JBL said that Paige stole her skip, title, and craziness - so AJ stole the Paige Turner! A Z Nation ad airs that is crazy-violent and has no place on this show.

A detailed Henry-Rusev recap airs. Cole does a giant intro to further kill time, plug the PPV, and the WWE Network - which the fans plug with the $9.99 bit. Henry's B-roll is now the American flag without all of Swagger's stuff like they did before. Loved the pure rage in Mark's eyes when Rusev came out. JBL brings up some arm wrestling documentary with a Russian who won the competition and WAS A FRIEND OF RUSEV! JBL puts over wrestling arm wrestlers like Rude and Scott Norton! Shocked he didn't plug that you could watch Norton on the WWE Network for only $9.99. I like the little touch of them having each guy's flags in their corner. Lana talking shit to Henry was an entertaining visual - LOLed at her bringing up Henry failing at the Olympics, and then him calling her Goldy Locks. Henry said he pulled out due to an injury, but HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D BE ABLE TO REPRESENT HIS COUNTRY, THE SUPERPOWER KNOWN AS AMERICA! And at Night of Champions, he'll unleash 400 pounds of fury! LEMME SHOW YOU WHAT I DO! Henry rules.

Ref gets technical telling Rusev to "put your hand on the thing". Henry-Rusev do an arm wrestling bit and Henry wins, leading to Lana demanding a redo with the left arm. Henry being the brave American accepts. Henry was winning, but Lana threw  powder in the face and RUSEV CRUSHED. This went on for a long time, but was always entertaining. I loved Cole, the babyface, being greatly offended by this. I need to give Rusev the buzzsaw kick in FPR. This Rusev act is so great - it's gotten over so much better than I could've expected, and he's improving quickly month by month - they lucked into this whole thing to some degree, and are making the most of it. Y2J bullshitted with Renee about being in ONE OF THE GREATEST RAW CAGE MATCHES EVER AND FLYING OFF THE 25 FOOT HIGH CAGE!

Miz and Mizdow were wacky backstage. Then they came out and TWIRLED TOGETHERLOLed at JBL saying he's NOT GOING TO BRING UP MIZDOW SPRAY-PAINTING MIZ'S POSTERIOR, followed by Dolph and R-Ziggler. Truth's got good legs. I like Dolph giving Truth the IC Title. This is quite the goofy tag match. Shocked they didn't do this joke on Raw. Truth gets the flying elbow for 2 on Mizdow. JBL goes on and on and on about who took the photos. Tom theorizes it could be the makeup artist from Raw - there we go, perfect. Good going Mr. Robot Man. The commentary throughout this match was purely the guys entertaining themselves, and was fantastic as a result. Love Miz stealing Dolph's goofy hip thrusting. DOLPH DID TRUTH'S THRUSTS AND THE PUNCH, while Truth did the Zig Zag and Dolph got the win - this was amusing, and Truth worked perfectly in this role. There's some mileage in this R-Ziggler gimmick - there's really no good reason to not throw Truth in the IC mix too. They plugged Z Nation and Cole said he'd watch it backstage - while JBL said he'd join him if he had pizza. Bella recap took ages - I was able to flip over to Bellator when it was announced, and then when I came back to SD, the first round was half-over.

Nikki talked about the Springer deal. Nikki's robotic acting was awful, but still better than whatever Brie's acting is. AJ cut a promo on Nikki weaseling her way into the match, and Paige stole the show by ALWAYS messing up Nikki's name, being all goofy afterwards, and saying she'll beat AJ so they can be buddies again, pumpkin. She's excelling in this role. Jericho's out, and they recapped the Orton-Jericho bit from Raw. Jericho's at least got the knee taped up here after DIVING OFF A CAGE and having his knee mangled by both Bray and Orton. Jericho and Roman faced Orton and Kane. Seth's had this theme for months, it's heard multiple times a week, and I still can't remember who's coming out when it hits. Orton's intro killed more time. Everyone did  moves for 10 minutes, with Roman getting his basement kick to Orton. Jericho tagged in and got 2 off a flying crossbody off the top, and Jericho won with a schoolboy on Orton after countering the draping DDT - I liked that a lot.. Roman looked good with what he did, but he's not doing anything new. Jericho's win should have been played up as a big deal, instead he just "pulled a rabbit out of the hat." This wasn't the best show ever, but it was an easy watch.


Screens -

 

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/cer0uofvntt90yy9pb48fb17fsbtlpzx

NXT 9-11-14 - Takeover: Fatal 4 Way

The pre-show peaked with KENT-ER from Jason, and MS Paint art for a bald LeFort. Neville looks weird in knock-off Converse with his legs awkwardly placed on the stool. Why aren't they just in chairs? They seem to be teasing a face turn for Breeze here. Neville's ears look gigantic and he has the face of a troll here. Love Kidd leaving because "I have to go check on my cats." He's a man after my own heart, and THE RED ARROW TRENDED ON TWITTER. Loved loved loved loved the Tyler Breeze cosplayer, and Renee fucking up the name of the show. I loved them changing up the then, now, forever bit with an NWO-style cutin. Tag title match starts the show, with Kalisto doing a fancier version of the original Sin Cara entrance. Their matching dark blue and gold with red trim gear is amazing. I am definitely making it in FPR.

Ascension beats up the faces and the crowd does the YA bit along with them. Renee said they've never faced a team like Sin Cara and Kalisto - because it's not like SIN CARA TEAMED WITH SOMEONE TO FACE THEM BEFORE OR ANYTHING. Rest holds. Double arm surfboard. Yargh. I like how easy the Ascension's gear would seem to be to make in FPR. Kalisto got a hot tag and MOVED MOVED MOVED. He did a second rope springboard spinny-doo mid-ring, then kicked the guy in the corner with a sliding spin kick, and a basic one. A running Yoshi Tonic got botched, but still got 2. I love the addition of a CMLL-style screen on the ring skirt. SALIDA DEL SOL WINS! So glad to see Hunico finally get a title! Sin Cara is just perfect in this role in developmental. Kalisto named their team the Lucha Dragons and his goofy Mexican hat dance-ish theme played.

CJ Parker's out, hopefully to get killed by KENTA. Nope, he's facing Baron Corbin. And by facing, I mean getting killed by with one move - a uranage into a flatliner that sounded dreadful. LOVED IT. A 4-way recap aired with Kidd's sit-down interview, and the stream got all wonky. Things came back with a replay of the goofy hair creme skit. LeFort's out first, followed by Enzo. WHY DID THIS MORON GET MOST OF HIS HEAD SHAVED INTO A WEIRD DESIGN BEFORE A HAIR VS. HAIR MATCH!? Enzo calling him LeFart, complete with a sound effect makes me hate him more. Enzo went on and on and on and on about wacky haircuts to give LeFort. The crowd alternating between certafied G and bonafide stud amuses me. Enzo's hair is in a leopard print - okay, that's at least wacky. Enzo hiptosses him in the hard way. THE PASSION! THE DRAMA! THE FLIPS!  Great Twitter crawl. Schoolboy wins for Enzo. LeFort left and they dunked Marcus's head in the bucket...so no one got a haircut IN A DEVELOPMENTAL HAIR VS. HAIR MATCH. The faces did the GET THE TABLES bit with the bucket, which amused me for a second.

Regal's out to bring KENTA out. He's got a PRIDE-style start to his theme, and a fantastic tron. He's getting a new name - Hideo Itami. The Ascension came out and got LAID OUT BY KENTA! Bull just squashed Mojo with a diving headbutt. Wow. Joyzey boys found the Frenchies and kidnapped Marcus and showed off his messed up hair. They hyped up a Buzzfeed article on NXT, and Renee once again used the KENTA name. I love this Leave it to Beaver music for Bayley's hype video. Bayley cried during the video package because she's so proud to make it to this level. This video makes me think that Bayley's winning, despite Charlotte just winning it a few months ago. HUG LIFE! What a great sign. Bayley's got a new super-happy theme and SHE'S WEARING STREAMERS! Hideo Itami is apparently trending. Bayley got some nice basement shots, including a kick and spinning back elbow. Charlotte did a ton of moves off the figure 4 headlock. They did another Twitter crawl with #KENTA on it. Bayley got a fulcrum kick caught and turned into a draping kneedrop from Charlotte. SUPER RANA FROM BAYLEY! Charlotte snaps her neck on the ropes, kills her with a moonsault for 2, and hits the facebuster for 2. Sasha comes out to attack, but Charlotte stops it, and holds the title up in front of Sasha on the ramp - so I guess Banks wins before Charlotte goes to the main roster.

An awesome hype vid aired for Zayn. YAY KENTA DEBUT NEXT WEEK! Tyler's out in sweet black and blue gear. SKANIC THE HEDGEHOG! Tyson's got his Raw gear on, BUT WITH A WHITE AND GOLD HOODIE AND GIANT WHITE EAR CANS! YES! Neville's got pink and black on. Loved Sami getting the edge and taking Tyler's phone and doing a bit thumbs-up selfie! Heels double suplex Neville on the stage, while Sami eats one on the steel ramp.Nice kick from Kidd to Zayn's head gets 2. Suzuki-style palm thrust slaps in the corner from Kidd to Zayn. Kidd takes a backdrop right on his ass ala Velvet. Sami went for a flip dive to the heels, but Neville did a moonsault off the top to the floor before he could - nice! Neville speed-kicked the hell out of Sami. Reverse rana...ish thing got botched, so Sami just covered for 2. Swinging fisherman's suplex gets 2 for Kidd. Sani goes for the Helluva kick, but Tyler gets the Beauty Shot on him, the supermodel kick on Kidd, and a dropkick to a flying Neville for ! AWESOME! Tyler got a chance to shine and used it nicely - that ruled! A CM Punk chant broke out, THEN THE FANS BOOED and a 9.99 chant got going for a bit. Heels teased a double superplex playing off the double suplexes (thus ACTUALLY MAKING IT A LOGICAL SPOT), but it led to a tower of doom!

Neville gets a perfect SSP on Zayn, and Tyler covers for 2.9! Kidd counters the Beauty Shot into a sharpshooter! NEVILLE CATCHES THE HAND BEFORE HE CAN TAP! SAMI KICKS NEVILLE INTO THE CROWD! Flying ringpost DDT ON THE FLOOR! KIDD GETS HIT WITH THE KICK, BUT NEVILLE PULLS THE REF OUT! This is a fantastic match right here. Neville superkicks Zayn on the floor and hits the Red Arrow on Kidd for the win. Neville basically just turned heel here, while Sami became a bigger face, and Tyler was a character face at times. Sami looked on just crushed by all of this.

Fallout begins with a tag title slideshow. IT'S BAYLEY'S out to talk about losing, and how she disappointed a lot of people - and she wants to win in front of Full Sail University. Bayley talked about her mom being here, and a little girl named Izzy who cried - and she'll fight for her when she beats Sasha and Charlotte! Charlotte and her giant nose came out and said she's proud of Bayley. Sasha talked smack and Charlotte backed Bayley up...kinda. This...was certainly a thing that tried to tell some sort of character-building story and just didn't work. Hair match recap. Joysey boyz came out to be douchey. LeFort challenged the faces to a tag match. I kind of like this being a way to build up next week's NXT show, and the future of the show. I love Tyson being a total douche here saying tons of facts that actually make sense for his character. This FACT gimmick rules. OH MY GOD, IT'S MICHAEL CLONE! And he's with the Lucha Dragons. Ascension demanded a rematch and talked about Hideo. Neville's out and accepted the title of best NXT Champion ever, and unlike what a fan said, HE'S NOT A CHEATAH! Titus tweeted about the NXT match on Raw, and Neville challenged him. They really could've explained Neville's character better here, but this was a reasonably easy post-show to get through.

Screens -

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/5rfagkqzu60grtvllefvtqmb40kc6ric

TNA Impact 9-10-14 - 9/11 Tribute Show

The 9/11 show being moved to a day earlier is a bit odd, but not too bad - it serves as a reminder of what happened. JB introduced a color guard presentation and some moron yelled out CM Punk to start it. A JB voice over introduces Chris Melendez. Chris slaps hands with all of the fans, kisses his girlfriend, and hugs his dad - a Vietnam veteran. Chris has really awesome camo and American flag tattoos. Tenay puts over Chris making his in-ring debut at the Manhattan Center, nearby where he grew up in Spanish Harlem. Taz puts over how hard it is for guys with two legs to make it, let alone one. Melendez is already smoother and more veteran-like than either Velvet or Rosa. Ion chop blocks the good leg, but loses to a Samoan drop. This wasn't the greatest match ever or anything, but TNA's got something with him. Since 3D trained him, we get a recap of the tag title series's first match.

Roode's out to cut a promo on Lashley, who he faces next week despite the hashtag being #RoodeVsLashley so far. Also, next week's show is No Surrender. There are fans opposite the hard camera dressed like '80s suit Flair, Savage, and a woman dressed as the Ultimate Warrior. A guy in the front row is wearing a Best For Business shirt - so they at least sold one of those. Lashley, MVP, and King are out. Taz put over the Bellator win, which they'll show later. MVP's in new black and yellow gear. I loved MVP's promo about how Roode wanting a movie story with a happy ending - but he can't, because his reality is a battle with LASHLEY. MVP is just perfect in this role - the knee injury was a huge blessing in disguise because he really shouldn't be in the ring, but Lashley has excelled in this role as champion, while MVP has become the second-best manager in the business. Roode and his stupid mohawk had the nerve to talk to Lashley, and it results in him eating a beating before EY and Joe make a save. And talk. And yell. We're getting a holla holla 6-man tag next.

 Joe starts this with a big dive. MVP comes in and attacks EY. MVP's new back logo looks good. EY's bacne is just disgusting. Lashley hit a sweet floatover snap suplex for 2. MVP did a nice jumping knee. Lashley got a cross armbar on EY. Roode tags in with a flying forearm, and Lashley flips hitting Joe with the spear. Roode avoids the drive by, and hits the DVD for the win. This was fine. BFG ad. Brittany asked Gunner if Shaw's seeing anyone - Gunner responds "a therapist". HA. Bro Mans and BPs are out in matching gear! Tenay put over Tinder, while Taz called it Cinderella. Rebel, Steve, and Knux are going to face the Bro Mans and one of the BPs. Rebel's ass is still amazing. Velvet is working the match. Taz asks how long it will take them to fund this damned carnival, and Tenay says it's a big carnival. Velvet's ass is stealing the show on the apron. Tenay and Taz are just joking around on commentary, and it's fantastic. Taz says he did yoga, leading to Tenay talking about his cigar smoking. They referenced Tito, Ron Simmons, and Gene Simmons on commentary, and Rebel's ass in a thong was revealed on the finish and Velvet bumped on hers to take a slam. Christ is she terrible.

 Team 3D's backstage and vowed to end the series tonight in their hometown, in their specialty match. Angle cuts a promo on how great the roster is, but he's had issues with EC3. EC3 said he'd dish out vigilante justice due to what happened to Dixie, and that he took Kurt out twice before and will do it again if he doesn't get what he wants. Kurt promised to kick his ass when the time is right. Kurt says he's fair and knows EC3 isn't dressed to wrestle - but he is dressed for a street fight! I would love to see someone in pink slacks in an actual fight. Crowd chants for EC3 to change his pants after a ramp suplex and random weapon stuff. Low blow from EC3 after some cane shots. Can to the head of Rhino. EC3 takes off his pearly white belt and whips Rhino. Crowd's chanting for EC3 and we get a chop exchange. Rhino misses the gore into the can, eats a Nakamura knee mid-ring, and hits the 1%er on the chair for the win. Great showcase for EC3. EC3's back is all welted up with cane shots - this was a great way to come off as more than just a pussy. It's nowhere near Orton-Foley, but a step in that direction. KO calendar cover reveal is next.

Melendez's debut is recapped, and he talks about his child's mother seeing him, alongside his father. He considers himself an inspiration, and if you train and don't take no, you can overcome anything. KOs are mid-ring for the reveal. This is like a wacky mid-card SD thing from '03. Love stole the mic, and JB was greatly offended. Velvet got the cover. Dun dun dun! HAVOK GIVES NO FUCKS ABOUT A CALENDAR. She's got prey all lined up mid-ring, but Gail goes to attack and gets beaten. Taryn's boob window and Madison are shocked, and Havok grabs the gold. Storm went to his shed, with Sanada in full getup to brainwash Manik, also in full getup. He tries to rip the mask off, but Manik is opposed to this...despite being unmasked voluntarily backstage many times. Anyway, The Revolution faces Tajiri and Aries next.

But first, Lashley clips and a Bellator plug. The Revolution came out first, and Sanada's paint now finally matches the getup. Aries and Tajiri came out, and wow does Tajiri just look awful. He can still move relatively quickly though - but he's definitely lost a few steps. Tenay talked about the HOF induction for Bully and Devon, so they must've made a deal, or they're just keeping it alive in VO form since they're still an active team as of the taping. Aries and Sanada are still great together, but Sanada's a bit too much of a Muta cosplayer in this match. Tajiri gets the tarantula on both guys at points, but gets the beer mist and then eats the kneeling superkick for a loss. This was fine, but nothing special. Hardys are backstage, and Jeff's dressed like a dreamsicle. Matt put over their Royal Rumble 2000 victory at MSG - available now on the WWE Network! Gail and Havok brawled, and they went to a break.

After the break, they're brawling to the ring. Goons broke it up, but HAVOK CHOKESLAMMED DUDES. They ran down the NS card - a KO battle royal sets up the BFG title match, while Joe-Homicide, and Roode-Lashley are set. 3D's out first, followed by the Hardys - Jeff's got a black and pink top on with his orange and white paint. Taz butchered Kurt's title and hoped to avoid a fine. Wassup hits, and Bully gets the big Dusty sendup. Davey and Jeff bonk heads on a corner forearm spot. Eddie got the machine gun chops and a huge chant, while the doomsday device was botched horribly with Devon making no contact but Eddie taking it anyway. Bully avoids Air Hardy and goes through the table, so it doesn't count. A fan had a Big Gold and TNA World title replica side-by-side - the TNA World Title really looks better in that form than the Big Gold, and it looks like a more modern version of it too. Wolves double dive onto the pile, which they use to segue into an Evel Kneivil doc after the show. Jeff makes a table bridge with the legs up! Eddie dove over it, making it even dumber because if he fell short, yikes. Eddie avoids 3D, but busts the table - which doesn't count since his own momentum did it. Wolves get knocked down by Bully and Jeff. Swanton off the top through a table on one of the Wolves wins. Well, that came out of nowhere. They replayed it a few times, and Eddie was the victim. Hardys climb a ladder and name a DOOMSDAY CHAMBER OF BLOOD MATCH! Nah - ladder match, at No Surrender.

Screens -

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/6vzt30qg6ztm65vsidw8zp7533obnopu

WCW Nitro 9-11-95 - Episode 2

Nitro's opening has held up nicely. They cut from that to an overhead shot of MIAMI! Bischoff hypes up THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY between Hogan and Luger, and the debut of Sabu! Mongo talks about THIS BEING THE BIGGEST THING SINCE THE OLD LADY WHO SAID WHERE'S THE BEEF - IT'S IN THE WCW! Luger-Hogan recap - it's weird seeing parts of the footage get all weird since they used to be cut off by CRT TV siding. Bischoff says Vader is AWOL and won't be at Fall Brawl. The Nitro set debuts here, and it also ages nicely. Sabu's got one of those generic WCW themes they'd rotate for random goobers - yargh. Bischoff talks about The Sheik being Sabu's uncle, and Mongo seemed to know him, or he confused him for the Iron Sheik. The ring skirt has NITRO in black with a rectangular cutout and some lights behind it - it's a great look. Bischoff calls a somersault plancha a moonsault. Air Sabu off the chair into the guardrail misses.

Mongo keeps calling Sabu a little fullback. Sabu does his pose and eats a flying dropkick from Wright. Nice over the top dive from Wright - far smoother than Sabu's stuff. Wright gets a superplex off the top! They screw up something and do a whip into the buckle setting up a flying leg attack from Sabu. German suplex gets 2 for Wright.  A sloppy super victory roll gets the win for Sabu. Wright looked so so so so so much better than Sabu here. Sabu gets no music for the win and Wright gets beaten up some more, culminating in a shitty dive through a table with Wright just standing there - so Sabu drove himself through it. Sabu gets DQed for it, and Bischoff compares it to ATTEMPTED MANSLAUGHTER. So yeah, this was a fail all the way around.

Sting-Wallstreet is next, BUT FIRST Mean Gene talks to Flair. Ric's looking dapper in a nice suit. Flair talks about football for a bit. Luger's out in his WCW black and white getup. Flair rattles off his stats in such a way that Vince would be overjoyed. Boy was Luger coming out a bit random. Bischoff talks about THE BIG ONE ON PPV. How can it be the big one if THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY is on this show? Heenan says he doesn't know who to cheer for between Flair and Arn. Michael Wallstreet is now VK Wallstreet, leading to Eric asking what's up with the name change. Wallstreet gets a U.S. Title shot. Bischoff talks about IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL, DON'T BOTHER - SHAWN MICHAELS BEATS THE BIG GUY WITH A SUPERKICK AND THEIR SHOW IS 2-3 WEEKS OLD! Sting's shiny jacket is something else. Wallstreet's got a giant black singlet and GIGANTIC gold dollar signs on the side. Sting whips him into the buckle leading to him bailing tot he floor. Just what Wallstreet needs - stalling. Bischoff talks about how Luger was wrestling for the WWF 9 days ago, and now he wants the WCW World Title. Mongo says he left the bush leagues for the majors. This is ballsy, but hey, the show needed to make its mark early - it was new and needed to be daring. Even in this rather nothing match, they're making you want to keep watching to hear what they'll say next. VK gets a back elbow and then some elbow drops. Sting counters the Samoan drop with a sunset flip for 2. Sting gets a knee to the back, a Stinger splash, and wins with a flying crossbody - I don't recall that ever getting a win for him, so this was nice to see. Savage-Norton is next.


They run down Saturday Night's card - its graphics haven't aged well. Norton's got a pretty badass theme that sounds a bit like Ambrose's, but it's better. Norton jumps Savage when he's got his jacket on. Norton is just tossing him around - this is a really smart way to debut a guy. Norton a bump over the top off a lariat. Double sledge off the top to the floor. Norton catches him doing it mid-ring and gets a bearhug. Savage is fantastic as the face in peril here. Norton does a double backbreaker like it's nothing, and then gets a sloppy press slam. Norton gets a powerslam for 2.9. Draping DDT from Norton. Savage sidesteps the flying shoulderblock ala Hogan-Warrior! Knee to the back sets up the corner punches and the Dungeon of Doom comes down. Shark gets dropped on Norton's legs setting up the flying elbow...um, WHY WASN'T THAT A DQ!? Taskmaster has a wacky stick with him. Hogan-Luger is next.

Luger gets a nice light and pyro display and they show it from behind is back, so it looks amazing! Hogan's WCW theme really is fantastic - it's a blatant Real American-ish song, but nowhere near as blatant as Honky Tonk's theme. Mongo and Heenan talk about football. HOGAN OUTWRESTLES LUGER and gets a half-nelson! This match is so weird to see - you've got Hogan facing what the WWF was hoping would be his replacement. Luger no-sells Hogan, so Hogan no-sells Luger. The commentators talk about EACH OF THESE MEN HAVING FRIENDS. WHAT NOW!? Bischoff says that Luger's struggling against Hogan because THE WWF'S CHAMPION BARELY MADE IT ABOVE MID-LEVEL IN WCW! What a burial of Diesel, who would ironically help WCW in mere months. LUGER GETS THE RACK and seemingly wins, but the ref waves it off. Hogan comeback. BIG LEG, Dungeon of Doom comes out. Hogan gets beaten down, but not Luger. Gene talks about how Hogan's team is down a guy, and Luger can't be trusted brother! Sting knows Luger and vouches for him. They're getting some terrible feedback on the mic, and Sting wants Luger on the team. Savage talks about Jimmy not getting hit either, and Jimmy says he got Sting and Savage to come help. I like this - nice, simple, logical storytelling. Hogan makes the deciding call to put Luger on the team. Luger gets to be on the team, but wants a title shot - smart guy. Badd faces Mr. Wonderful next week, and the Males COULD DEBUT. This, like the first show, was a super-easy watch.

Screens -

WWE Main Event 9-9-14

On the 15th anniversary of the Dreamcast's launch, I spent zero time playing the system - not even in emulated form. Might do that after ME though, as it seems like a solid idea. Cole opens the show with BREAKING NEWS - Reigns faces Rollins, and Jericho will face Orton. I like him moving his body to his theme - helps make it seem like it actually has some rhythm to it. Seth hypes up the Shield with a sweet graphic to set up the "where are they now" premise for this. The curb stomp angle is recapped. Seth said he created Roman, and at NoC, he'll destroy his creation. More talking. Christ. Thank God, now Swagger's out with Zeb! Zeb hyped up Swagger-Seth tonight. Or next. Swagger just charges him down with shoulderblocks for a break.

New KENTA graphic for Takeover - good use of NOAH pics. Cole made me chuckle with "And speaking of Rusev..." which no one was doing. Belly to belly sets up the Swagger bomb and the amateur-style powerslam gets 2. Swagger evades the rope pop-up kick and gets the ankle lock, but Seth gets to the ropes. Seth gets the flying knee...kinda sorta. Curb stomp hits solidly for the win. Perfectly fine little showcase for Seth here. Titus and Slater discus cartoon strategy about wabbit hunting. "READ MAN, WABBIT HUNTIN!" "NAW STUPID, I DON'T MEAN PHYSICALLY HOP!" This greatly exceeded all expectations. Heyman-Cena recap. Cesaro is backstage looking weird with a red towel and his black, red, and white robe. Total Divas ad makes Brie out to be a total bitch.

Ryder and his evil goatee are out to be mangled. Zack's new black and silver gear is quite good. Cole once again hyped up Total Divas having THE MOST-WATCHED SEASON 3 PREMIERE ON E IN NEARLY FOUR YEARS! BROSKI BOOT HITS! Ryder's getting some nice offense, BUT HE EATS THE SWING and gets locked in an ankle lock/edgucator/cloverleaf hybrid. I'll call it the cloverlock. "WHO ARE YOU TO DOUBT ZACK RYDER!?" Cesaro says he's better than Sheamus in the ring, better-looking, and even the fans know it. HE ISN'T JUST THE KING OF SWING, HE'S THE KING OF WRESTLING! Bella recap next - time to make some tweaks to KENTA in FPR. Bella recap featured a ton of audio repeating because this verbiage just needed to be repeated. Not even WWE's amazing editing team could make this remotely good. Rose and a very busty rosebud, and the rest, walked backstage. Titus tried to net the bunny, but he ducked and Heath got hit with it.

Titus and Rose did stuff for a bit until the bunny hopped down. Slater eats a Sin Cara kick on the apron. Rose gets a tight O'Connor roll which actually looks good. THEY'RE CALLING THIS HASHTAG BUNNYMANIA! HOW IN THE FUCK!? WHAT!? This was stupid, but short and entertaining. Matadores are out for the main event, I think against some team. THE ASCENSION!? Well, this is unexpected. These goobers get a full intro with a hype video while THE GUYS IN THE NXT TAKEOVER MAIN EVENT didn't even get a graphic. Instead of WE WANT TABLES, they should chant WE WANT WORKRATE. Unlike the NXT match on Raw, these guys didn't get a generic NXT graphic on the set. Crowd's chanting for Punk. Viktor hits a phantom shoulder block to Primo, and then eats the high-low. This was short and still went way too long - they're aiming for an NWA version of the Road Warriors here, and getting the greener than grass Memphis version minus any heat, unique traits, or intangible charisma.

Screens -

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/jcoj9wg9r1aeir5gi1o0jr5uiqzbisc1

Raw 9-8-14 - Season Premiere

The show opens with a shot of the cage and a recap of what's been hyped up - Springer is played up as a big deal here in 2014. The cage match is hyped up really nicely, and will apparently start the show. Jericho's vertically-lined lightup jacket looks fantastic. They exchange punches and chops. Bray takes over with a smash into the cage and does his kneeling Christ pose over Jericho to set up a break. Bray tries to escape after the break, but eats an electric chair fall. Lionsault hits, but the Walls gets reversed with only one leg, which looked absurd since Jericho took a flip bump for it. I like Bray doing stomach shoulder charges on the top - it's an easy way to do something new, but safe and simple. Superplex. Bray gets up from it with a spider walk! Jericho climbs up top after a catapult, leading to mounted punches on the top rope, then a super rana to Bray.

This is easily their best match together. The Wyatts tried to trap Jericho up top, so he did a crossbody off the top of the cage, at 43 or whatever. Crazy. Kurt took years off his career - honestly, he could be done, due to a moonsault off a cage and Jericho landed right on his knee. Jericho tried to crawl out, but got met by Bray - they did an awesome extended brawl on the steps, which Bray won by attacking the bad knee and rolling out. THIS RULED! They did a cage door bonk on the knee, which is new. The Family locks them in the cage and Sister Abigail sends Jericho on his way for a bit - well, if you're going to do something stupid, do it on your last night for a while.

Mr. Kane and Seth talked about how excited they are for the season premiere of Raw. The Authority's room is very blue, and now Orton's talking about season premieres. Orton asked for permission from HHH do take Reigns out - what a badass. Dolph's out looking somewhat nice in a black blazer, black shirt, and wearing the IC Title as a belt. Dolph referenced the Fappening. Oh God, now we're getting more Photoshop comedy with Dolph and Miz. Nope - just photos of Miz with a face mask and shaving his chest. Miz and Mizdow came down and then we got a blurred shot of Miz's ass being spray-tanned.

Cole hyped up Total Divas being E'S MOST-WATCHED SEASON 3 PREMIERE IN NEARLY THREE YEARS! Nattie and Rosa are facing AJ and Paige. Nattie has revamped short shorts. Nattie and Rosa got a double suplex on Paige. Paige lustfully straddled Rosa for the headbutts. Paige missed a legdrop then went OWWWWW! AJ tags in by smacking Paige's breast - okay then. Black Widow gets the win. AJ grabbed the belt and kissed it, leading to Paige kissing it longer. This is one bizarre softcore lesbian porno.  Jericho met with a trainer, and then ate a beating from Orton, who said he did it because it's the season premiere.

Paul Heyman fears no Thuganomics FOR HE IS THE ADVOCATE FOR THE CONQUERER! Cena came out before Heyman could divulge CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION. A fan in the front row actually wore a Best For Business shirt. Heyman said that Cena was the best WWE Champion ever UNTIL SUMMERSLAM, subtly saying that Brock is the best ever. Heyman tells Cena how to beat Brock at NoC, but Cena doesn't need Heyman's help - he'll do it by NEVER GIVING UP. Cena put over that Taker hasn't been heard from since WM, while he challenged Brock a week after being beaten. Wow. This would actually make for a fine setup for Taker-Cena at WM 31.Heyman tells him that there has to be a time when he wants to tell a fan to shut up after a Cena Sucks - begging him to go to the dark side JUST ONCE! "YOU DON'T NEED TO SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL – THE DEVIL SOLD HIS SOUL TO ME LONG AGO!" Heyman is so great - this went on a bit long, but he made it compelling. Cena yelled SHUT UP...at Paul Heyman and then cut a long promo on him. Kinda surprised "wifebeater" didn't get a pop. He tried getting "BE JOHN CENA, REPEAT" over. No. Cena LIKES BEING THE GUY WHO GETS KIDS TO DO THEIR HOMEWORK EARLY SO THE KID CAN GO TO RAW! Are they going to re-record Steamboat's "Family Man" song so Cena can come off like a bigger pussy? The purple heart stuff was nice though - a wounded veteran gave him his purple heart, which makes for a nice story whether it's true or not. Now he's just going on and on. After several centuries, Cena got to the point - he wants Brock in the ring next week. And if he can't get Brock, the baddest man on the planet, he'll kick the ass of his nearly 50 year old manager.

Sheamus facing Seth...for some reason, in a match with no hype despite it being US Champ vs. Mr. MITB. They did a few moves before Cesaro came down for a break. JBL says that Cole talks like a donkey, which he takes as a Shrek reference. Post-break chinlock from Seth. Cesaro grabbed the belt again, leading to a a tug of war over the belt after a distraction schoolboy got 2, and a corner kick set up the worst curb stomp yet for the win. So Mr. MITB can't even beat the U.S. Champ clean. Cesaro kicked his ass afterwards. Henry-Rusev recap. Lana sang the national anthem and edited it for Rusev. Cole buried the star saying that it's easy to do -why can't WWE do it? The Russian national anthem is so awesome. JBL hates the Russians expressing their freedom of speech. NXT Takeover hype vid aired. KENTA IS ON MY TV ON RAW! They're actually doing an NXT tag match tonight with the 4-way competitors...and not giving it a graphic. 

Things get worse when the guys GET NO INTROS. Tyson's got new bright yellow shorts with the NXT Title on them ala Rude. Crowd does not give a shit about this beyond Zayn getting an OLE chant. I can't believe how badly WWE is fucking up just the simple stuff with this NXT tag. Cole talked about KENTA being in NXT and being such a big deal that Hogan went to Japan to sign him. Neville kicked the fuck out of Breeze and got a standing moonsault for 2. Neville won with the Red Arrow on Breeze - this was fun beyond some botches and a really poor presentation overall. They at least told you reasons to care about NXT Takeover though, and showed some reasons why. 

Steph came out to introduce TV ICON JERRY SPRINGER like a babyface. Brie has a new kind of bad theme. It starts with Brie Mode and then become on hold music. They talked and talked and talked and showed clips and talked and showed Total Divas clips and talked and talked. My KENTA Edit is coming along nicely for FPR stuff later. "I'm having a really hard time figuring this out." SO ARE WE MRS. BELLA! Their younger brother JJ BELLA is here! JJ BELLA - he gets the Total Divas theme and has skinny jeans to match. They had a wacky catfight brawl. Nikki's skirt flew up and Brie's pants fell down revealing some crack.  "This is humiliating." This, THIS is the low point for Jerry Springer. At least he was wacky being wheeled away. 

Gold and Stardust came out, leading to an Uso promo on "Gold and Stardust". The Cosmic Twins win with Dark Matter. At least this match finally gave them a name. They had a tribute to Joan Rivers. Lou Thesz didn't get a tribute video, but Joan Rivers does. It came off as fairly corny, but hey, they've got video and photos involving her, might as well do one. Bunny-Slater got a recap. Rose faces Titus again for God knows what reason. Slater jumped after the bunny, ate a superkick and the Party Foul beat Titus. Cole said Slater ATE THE RABBIT'S FOOT! Bunny splash off the top to Titus. Rosita's back as a Rosebud in cute red shorts. Roman talked about how. Orton is. The Viper. He is. The Venom. But Roman Reigns. Is the Antidote. Brock recap set up an announcement that Brock will be on the show next week. Main event time. This third hour has dragged terribly.

Henry and Rusev have an arm wrestling match on SD. They did nothing until Orton bailed for a break. Reigns ate offense, got some, ate a superplex, and they went to a break. PAINT BY NUMBERS! (clap clap clap clap) OH THANK GOD, A POST-BREAK CHINLOCK! JBL talked about the bunny superkicking Slater during this main event match. Orton powerslam gets 2. Reigns gets some offense and hits the sliding basement kick. Orton avoids a shoulder charge with his jumping cradle and then the 3.0 for 2. Orton gets another powerslam for a 2.9. Reigns counters the RKO and hits the Superman punch. Seth, Kane, and security came down to cause a DQ in the main event. Orton demanded the cage be brought down so...they could somehow lower the cage with controls they were nowhere near. The guys were there to guide the cage into his pegs - which I never noticed until now. We'd better be getting Orton-Reigns in a cage at the PPV. Orton eats a spear. Okay, so maybe we won't be getting that match. SETH DIVES OFF THE CAGE...just like we saw in the opener. What is this? Impact? Orton hit Reigns with a chair a ton. I like the falling chairshot to the back of Reigns - that should make it into a game. I'm just exhausted by the show tonight - honest to God tired after watching it. Seth nailed Roman with a curb stomp on the chair at 11:12 - over three hours into a show that would not end. Orton's mouth got busted open somehow.

Screens -

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/agtn6phfgs9gbc8ldb3gobpbvrgzx357

Total Divas 9-7-14 - Season 3 Premiere

The show opens with a recap of WM XXX, Bryan and Brie's wedding, and generic OMG BEING A DIVA IS SO AMAZING quotes. Eva and Jonathon are going to do a wedding ceremony - and they've got a professional modeling photoshoot for the save the dates. We get an intro to Rosa - she says she's 34 and looks 24. Rosa's got sideboob, and Nattie says SHE WON'T BE DOING BE A STAR IN THAT! She'd also better settle that tea kettle. Trinity says this is pretty low-class. Titus says AW HELL NAW, GIRL BYE! Bellas are together - Nicole gets her real name, while Brianna gets her stage name. We get faded clips of Cena asking Nikki if marriage would be enough for her. Brie tells her to freeze her eggs. Marc brings Rosa back and Brie talks about her issues...by not talking about what they are. Rosa says she got implants and implies lipo. Nattie is slightly upset about having to watch Rosa - BUT A DIVAS TITLE MATCH WILL MAKE UP FOR IT. Nattie talks to Rosa and DOESN'T WANT TO BE A PLAYER HATER and be honest about babysitting her. Rosa says she was in rehab and had therapy - hundreds of hours for therapy for an issue that they've yet to actually talk about. They preview stuff and the tech tells Nikki she can't have sex - well, that should be interesting.

Eva and Jonathan talk about seeing her parents. Bellas and Bryan have a family night or something with in-laws and THEY SEE BABIES! Nikki says she'll freeze her eggs and Bryan offers to be the sperm donor. Eva and her dad bond over the ceremony. Her family doesn't like her softcore porn shoot. The Bellas have a wacky meeting with the fertility doctor. Eva and Jonathan tell the other brother and he's happy, but THERE'S A PROBLEM - the family wants a Catholic wedding, but Jonathan's a non-demoninational Christian. So Eva's dad wants a wedding in front of family, friends, and God, but it can't be a Christian wedding...wow.

Nikki and John meet with an interior decorator, and John looks silly. WUTWOAH, this meeting is happening when they're doing a blood draw for her TODAY TOO. HOLY NAKED ROSA time. Well, if Nattie had actually knocked, maybe she could've put clothes on. Rosa loves being nude and wants to show off her boob job. Eva and her cleavage drive with her mom and Jonathan. Her mom tells her that he's taking chemo shots. His colon cancer is back, and it's all over. Preview has Naomi burying Rosa by saying it's time for popcorn, and Eva asks Jonathan to convert.

Eva's upset about not being told about her dad having cancer - he's only got a few years left and it's inoperable. Bellas go to the doctor. Brie is offended by her twin's vagina.  Eva and Jonathan walk, and Eva says she doesn't want to cause her dad anymore stress. They come back and Jonathan says he won't do it and her dad wouldn't respect a man who would change his beliefs so quickly. Eva talks to her dad, who basically guilts her into making it a Catholic wedding.

Nattie and Rosa arrive and Rosa feels like everyone's watching her. Nattie says no one is and Titus says she looks TIRED. AS. HELL! Rosa faces Nattie at an SD taping, and Nattie is just guiding her body through every move. Yet another super-quick break. The end-show deal has Nattie telling Rosa to believe in herself, and asks if she either got heat or the crowd on her side. I love that Rosa had no response for any of Nattie's questions about the match. John and Nikki's beach house has a little drama with her med stuff being found and then they preview the season. There's a bikini episode, Nattie drama, stuff with Summer, and BRYAN'S NECK BEING DESTROYED BY KANE AND BRIE QUITTING PLAYED UP AS A SHOOT. Oh boy.

Screens -

 

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/myzqa9uh7w7c3wnp19pxlyjtikinaytx