A FOUR MINUTE LONG recap video of Raw airs. Steph and HHH come out for the Highlight Reel and put over the fans here as top heels. Well, at least they put SOMEONE over this week. Jericho is dressed like a hipster and has his entire lower left arm tatted up. Jericho makes a shit joke leading to the Steph-Vickie bit from five months ago. HHH yammers on and buries Jericho for being a part-timer. Jericho sings the goodbye song badly. Bray squashes Sin Cara in every match they've ever had. Bray talks for a bit before Dean runs out. Bray runs outside and Dean...doesn't follow him. Instead, Bray talks, his video airs, and that's it.
Rose and the Bunny face the tag champs. Rose wants a tag, doesn't get it, Bunny hop gets the knees and he takes Dark Matter while Stardust beats the Bunny. AFTER PINNING A BUNNY, JBL puts the champs over as the best in WWE. Rose kicks and Party Fouls the Bunny. Dolph's shitty couple of weeks get recapped in clips and at the PPV, he'll take out the Authority. Long Ryback video shows him killing dudes. Now would be the time to have him as World Champ if that was still separate or as a pushed, protected IC Champion. He says the Authority was smart to try and recruit him, but tonight, he'll go through Kane.
Dolph faces Kidd and Cesaro in an IC Title triple threat elimination match with no hype for whatever reason - glad to see this, and an elimination stip should instantly make it better. Dolph gets booted and Cesaro hits a giant tossing exploder to Kidd! Dolph gets a dropkick, but Kidd's pop-in cradle gets 2. Back and forth cradles from Kidd and Dolph get 2 each. Jumping corkscrew elbow from Dolph gets 2 on Kidd and sends us to a break. Kidd and Dolph go for a double suplex, but Cesaro suplexes them! Cesaro gets the Tiger driver while Kidd gets the springboard elbow and Cesaro gets the gutwrench and 2. JBL puts over the PPV main event as being THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE IN Survivor Series history. Yes, more important than '97 or '01! Kidd kicks Cesaro into Dolph, locking him in a tree of woe, leading to a Kidd dropkick. Kidd gets suplexed by Cesaro.
Dolph gets 2 off a crossbody. Back to back Stinger splashes from Dolph, who follows up with a Nova neckbreaker/DDT combo for 2. Tower of Doom from Kidd, who countered a Cesaro superplex into a sunset bomb to Cesaro while he suplexed Dolph. That was a cluster, but fun to watch. Kidd gets the Sharpshooter to Cesaro, who COVERS DOLPH WHILE HE'S IN IT, and he even hooks the leg. Way to kill the move, but it was a new spot. Cesaro kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits an uppercut of death and a tilt a whirl to Kidd for 2. Yet another break. Kidd gets a blockbuster sending Cesaro's back into Dolph's knees. Kidd gets the sharpshooter on Dolph! Cesaro gets a crossface on at the same time!
Kidd breaks it up to stomp on Cesaro, leading to THE SWING! Dolph gets the big DDT and 2! Famouser's turned into a hot shot, Kidd kick, Cesaro German and 2! If this exact match was on the PPV, everyone's stock would be rising exponentially. Kidd gets the pin off of the Zig Zag, leading to Kidd-Dolph in the finals for the IC Title. Kidd gets a baseball slide headscissors into the steps and eats a barricade too. Running punt kick from Kidd on the barricade! Kidd's spinning fisherman is countered, but finally hits for 2! Kidd flies right into a superkick ala Shelton AND IT GETS 2! Crowd's going crazy with claps after that. Kidd gets the Sharpshooter once ago, but Dolph counters, gets the Zig Zag and wins! This was a shade short of a classic, but was easily Kidd's best match in WWE and Dolph's best as IC Champion.
Nattie beats Layla in a fine little match. Dean brawls with Bray, who hits TWO Sister Abigails on the wall. Ryback and Kane have an overly-long, boring match that ends in a DQ thanks to a chair, which Ryback turns against Kane and then he stares down HHH. What the Hell, make Ryback-HHH for the Rumble or WM. Preferably the former, as it would be a fresh match, but isn't quite a dream match.
Friday, November 14, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
WWE NXT 11-13-14
I decided to go with a hardwired connection to the X1, so we'll see if this makes a big difference. ECW Week brings about Cane Dewey as a filler promo before the show. I haven't seen this since the ECW Cactus Jack DVD and yup, still great. Well, minus the giant bleep for "sons of bitches.". So Steph can call a Bella a bitch, but this? Nope - gotta censor it for the kiddies. Bleeping makes it honestly hard to tell what he's saying. They wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, you BLEEP. Ugh. Foley is quite the storyteller though.
A recap airs of the Ascension killing Itami, setting up Balor's debut. It was a good debut, but the TV version failed to capture the special feel that came from just watching the cellphone version when it was taped. Balor starts the show with an extreme red light bath that looks fantastic. He's got some wacky poses now, but man is this theme one of the best in the company. Fill says his name and that he's in NXT because he's the future. Tyson takes offense and gets a big Nattie's Husband chant. He's not impressed with Balor's past - FACT! Gabriel's out...wow is a chain of dudes saying words not how I'd have him debut. Still, I like this possible 3-way. Or we'll just get a tag match. Itami comes out to prevent a 2-on-1. Ref makes a tag match, and wow does Gabriel's new Joker-ish gear look terrible. Regal has apparently made this a tag match. Kidd and Itami exchange holds for a bit and Albert talks about him hating the new generation - isn't Itami older than him? Balor runs into Gabriel with a blazing fast dropkick to the chest. Balor dives to the heels and that's a break.
Oh my God does Sheamus seem lame with this Celtic Crusader crap. Itami's in against Gabriel. Albert takes about Itami going up in the New Japan dojo...no...and how he had to clean up after guys. Albert puts over Itami's fighting spirit. Balor lands some nice kicks and chops, while the generic guy puts over his chosp. Swinging neckbreaker from Kidd to Balor on the floor. Gabriel pays him back with a nasty chop to the chest on the floor. Riley says that Gabriel and Kidd were a team at WM 28 and opened the show. I have zero recollection of that. Double basement kick by Gabriel and Kidd gets 2 on Balor. Machine gun forearms from Kidd in the corner - nice! Kidd gets a chinlock while a Balor Fever chant breaks out. Riley, in his Andy Bernard role, talks about his college days and how Balor needs to be about it. Gabriel dives into the knee for 2. The faces reenact their basement dropkicks in the corner. Balor wins with a double stomp off the top.
Neville-Zayn history video goes all the back to last November with stuff I haven't seen. Sami talks to some chick about how tonight feels very different, and the road to redemption isn't just a marketing slogan. Banks-Bliss is next. Queens of the Ring ad airs. Holy shit, that is like sub-TGWTG-level acting and budget.
Sasha and her GOLD SHADES rule. Recap of last week's tag, which was fantastic. Alexa and her Emma on the main roster-level gimmick came out. Riley brings back Mongo's "athalete" call. Big double knee to the gut from Sasha in the corner gets 2. Sliding D slap from Sasha actually gets 2. Hopping corner sunset bomb gets 2 for Bliss! Back stabber into the crossface wins. Short, but fine match. Sasha tells Charlotte to hand the belt over to her to save her the humiliation. Becky's faces here ruled. Sasha's character is still a bit too one note for me, but she's got that one note down. Generic Brunette Chick talks to Neville about the defense tonight against Zayn. Neville says that unlike Zayn, he can win the big one - and he's just stating a fact. Lucha Dragons are in action next.
They're facing Team Fit and Kalisto eats that pop-up suplex from Murphy, who needs a new first name. Buddy is just dreadful. Blake gets off a sliding D. Albert says that THE ASCENSION of all teams could do it all. Flying AJ knee from Murphy gets 2. Blake gets a surfboard and Murphy flies in for a reverse version of Bourne's double knees and lands on his own face, so that can stand to leave the arsenal. Team Fit has something - they're quite good and I dig their gear, and not just because it's easy to make in FPR. Sin Cara's back elbow gets 2. Sin Cara gets tossed into the other guy, and he's too old for that. Kalisto gets a wacky dive, while Sin Cara does a hard lift-up slam, a swanton and wins. This is such a perfect role for Hunico at this stage in his career, and it's so odd to see the second Sin Cara do so much better than the first. Generic Brunette Girl meets with her guest, the Vaude Villains - they'd be guests. The Dragons are told to keep the metal shined and leather oiled so the belts can go home with two men. Okey dokey.
Albert says Sami's match is all he could think about, while Riley says why care - we already know the outcome! Ugh. "Adrian Neville Thinks Greedo Shot First" sign rules. Seeing the NXT Title graphic really shows off how much worse this belt is even than the first X Title. Neville and Zayn bust out some chain wrestling, which will justify the new chain wrestling system in 2K15. They flip around a bit and Sami avoids a calf kick. They go to the floor and Sami offers to open the ropes, while Neville opts to hop in. Neville gets 2 off a chest axehandle and locks on a chinlock. Sleeper takes Zayn down for a bit. He recovers and eats forearms. Zayn recovers and hits his flip dive on the floor. Neville counters a crossbody and gets a standing SSP for 2. Flippy ma doo into a sitout powerbomb from Zayn gets 2 - that was shown before in the clips, so now they're playing off the past. Neville gets some kicks, but misses some and eats Rolling Germans. 2.9! Neville counters the Helluva kick with a kick, but the corner exploder is turned into a cradle for ! Kick KOs Zayn! RED ARROW MISSES, and it was shot perfectly - nothing telegraphed it. Neville hurts his left knee on the landing and the ref puts up the X. It's A TRAP. NEVILLE CRADLES HIM FOR THE WIN! OH THAT FUCKER!
What a fantastic ending. The great thing is that Neville's knee is still hurting him - so he did have some credibility with the injury, but might've pushed things just doing the one move to win. This is such a great story, and Sami's eventual title win is going to be so great. The main event here was excellent and even better than Lucha Underground's.
A recap airs of the Ascension killing Itami, setting up Balor's debut. It was a good debut, but the TV version failed to capture the special feel that came from just watching the cellphone version when it was taped. Balor starts the show with an extreme red light bath that looks fantastic. He's got some wacky poses now, but man is this theme one of the best in the company. Fill says his name and that he's in NXT because he's the future. Tyson takes offense and gets a big Nattie's Husband chant. He's not impressed with Balor's past - FACT! Gabriel's out...wow is a chain of dudes saying words not how I'd have him debut. Still, I like this possible 3-way. Or we'll just get a tag match. Itami comes out to prevent a 2-on-1. Ref makes a tag match, and wow does Gabriel's new Joker-ish gear look terrible. Regal has apparently made this a tag match. Kidd and Itami exchange holds for a bit and Albert talks about him hating the new generation - isn't Itami older than him? Balor runs into Gabriel with a blazing fast dropkick to the chest. Balor dives to the heels and that's a break.
Oh my God does Sheamus seem lame with this Celtic Crusader crap. Itami's in against Gabriel. Albert takes about Itami going up in the New Japan dojo...no...and how he had to clean up after guys. Albert puts over Itami's fighting spirit. Balor lands some nice kicks and chops, while the generic guy puts over his chosp. Swinging neckbreaker from Kidd to Balor on the floor. Gabriel pays him back with a nasty chop to the chest on the floor. Riley says that Gabriel and Kidd were a team at WM 28 and opened the show. I have zero recollection of that. Double basement kick by Gabriel and Kidd gets 2 on Balor. Machine gun forearms from Kidd in the corner - nice! Kidd gets a chinlock while a Balor Fever chant breaks out. Riley, in his Andy Bernard role, talks about his college days and how Balor needs to be about it. Gabriel dives into the knee for 2. The faces reenact their basement dropkicks in the corner. Balor wins with a double stomp off the top.
Neville-Zayn history video goes all the back to last November with stuff I haven't seen. Sami talks to some chick about how tonight feels very different, and the road to redemption isn't just a marketing slogan. Banks-Bliss is next. Queens of the Ring ad airs. Holy shit, that is like sub-TGWTG-level acting and budget.
Sasha and her GOLD SHADES rule. Recap of last week's tag, which was fantastic. Alexa and her Emma on the main roster-level gimmick came out. Riley brings back Mongo's "athalete" call. Big double knee to the gut from Sasha in the corner gets 2. Sliding D slap from Sasha actually gets 2. Hopping corner sunset bomb gets 2 for Bliss! Back stabber into the crossface wins. Short, but fine match. Sasha tells Charlotte to hand the belt over to her to save her the humiliation. Becky's faces here ruled. Sasha's character is still a bit too one note for me, but she's got that one note down. Generic Brunette Chick talks to Neville about the defense tonight against Zayn. Neville says that unlike Zayn, he can win the big one - and he's just stating a fact. Lucha Dragons are in action next.
They're facing Team Fit and Kalisto eats that pop-up suplex from Murphy, who needs a new first name. Buddy is just dreadful. Blake gets off a sliding D. Albert says that THE ASCENSION of all teams could do it all. Flying AJ knee from Murphy gets 2. Blake gets a surfboard and Murphy flies in for a reverse version of Bourne's double knees and lands on his own face, so that can stand to leave the arsenal. Team Fit has something - they're quite good and I dig their gear, and not just because it's easy to make in FPR. Sin Cara's back elbow gets 2. Sin Cara gets tossed into the other guy, and he's too old for that. Kalisto gets a wacky dive, while Sin Cara does a hard lift-up slam, a swanton and wins. This is such a perfect role for Hunico at this stage in his career, and it's so odd to see the second Sin Cara do so much better than the first. Generic Brunette Girl meets with her guest, the Vaude Villains - they'd be guests. The Dragons are told to keep the metal shined and leather oiled so the belts can go home with two men. Okey dokey.
Albert says Sami's match is all he could think about, while Riley says why care - we already know the outcome! Ugh. "Adrian Neville Thinks Greedo Shot First" sign rules. Seeing the NXT Title graphic really shows off how much worse this belt is even than the first X Title. Neville and Zayn bust out some chain wrestling, which will justify the new chain wrestling system in 2K15. They flip around a bit and Sami avoids a calf kick. They go to the floor and Sami offers to open the ropes, while Neville opts to hop in. Neville gets 2 off a chest axehandle and locks on a chinlock. Sleeper takes Zayn down for a bit. He recovers and eats forearms. Zayn recovers and hits his flip dive on the floor. Neville counters a crossbody and gets a standing SSP for 2. Flippy ma doo into a sitout powerbomb from Zayn gets 2 - that was shown before in the clips, so now they're playing off the past. Neville gets some kicks, but misses some and eats Rolling Germans. 2.9! Neville counters the Helluva kick with a kick, but the corner exploder is turned into a cradle for ! Kick KOs Zayn! RED ARROW MISSES, and it was shot perfectly - nothing telegraphed it. Neville hurts his left knee on the landing and the ref puts up the X. It's A TRAP. NEVILLE CRADLES HIM FOR THE WIN! OH THAT FUCKER!
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
TNA Impact 11-12-14
TNA is apparently in negotiations with Destination America for Impact, which I think is a channel I watched while getting a root canal last year. This year, I was able to watch whatever channel had the '60s Batman on it, and damn that was a lot of fun. If you've got to get extractions done, do it while watching Liberace play himself and play straight.
The show opens recapping MVP-Roode and King acts like a little shit to Lashley, who shoves him around. The Revolution comes down to get Davey's answer. Wolves come out. God do I not care about this. Davey looks either constipated or conflicted. Eddie keeps yelling "STORM STORM!" Davey's done a lot of thinking and he's got a response. What? That there's never a right time to say goodbye? Nope - he's A WOLF. Not a man. Not a shark. A wolf. Revolution attacks and Storm ties the rope around the leg and chairshots it. Storm is great, but this group isn't really all that good and anything that requires the Wolves to act is asking for trouble. Revolution leaves so they can air clips, and then they KO Eddie with the case and destroy Davey's leg with the case too. The case is his feast or fired case, so he can cash it in right now. Tenay says he's been waiting until this moment for the shot. He gets 2 off a base cover, with Manik in his corner, and then hits the Eye of the Storm before cutting a nice ominous promo on Eddie.
Taz says this is plan B, and plan A was to get Davey to join the Revolution. So now all of the pieces of the puzzle fit into place reasonably well. Abyss comes out and Tenay ponders if it's to help the Wolves. Nope, Abyss is the newest pledge, and he chokeslams Eddie, hits the Black Hole Slam and Storm tags in to win the titles. Eye of the Storm to "Eddie" says Taz is done to Davey. Well, the Wolves sure came off like absolute jobbers here. At least when WWE used them as jobbers, that was for a tryout, this just marginalized a team that killed themselves for the company in an incredible series. This had better be leading to The Wolves getting the titles back on the next Impact if/when there is another show because they looked unbelievably bad here.
Madison comes out and does her wave while they run down the Terrell-Rayne feud. Taryn's enormous breasts march down to the ring in a smaller silver top instead of her usual small gold top. Taryn dives off apron like it's a pool onto Madison. Madison throws her into the apron, threatens to leave, but gets thrown in. Taryn goes up top, but is pulled down revealing a cleavagy-closeup. "You don't wanna sleep on Taryn Terrell - hold the joke - you never know what she'll pull out!" Taz brings the funny here. Tenay talks about Shaw-Gunner later. No thanks. Madison gets the headscissors hydraulic drop. Diving Hart Attack from Taryn leads to a pervy spread eagle camera shot and then a close-up of Madison's ass. Madison scoops the legs for a 2 with the ropes. Taryn gets a suplex and flies off with the pool belly flop, but misses. Oklahoma roll leads to a near wardrobe malfunction with Madison pulling her gear. Madison goes for the Rayne Drop, but it's countered into a Cutter for the win. This was certainly worth watching, but less so for the in-ring action and more for the fanservice. Angle calls someone about asking if something's legal. Oh the comedy. Lashley wants a rematch with Roode tonight and Kurt tells him he can't because Roode's doing promotional work and then stares down Kurt in his golf hat. That hat has simply got to go.
Manik rides Shera, and Manik apparently got him drunk last night to lure him into meeting Storm. Kenny King talks about his squad while dressed like a Wal-Mart shopper. MVP's out for a photoshoot, while Lashley's PISSED OFF AT YOU DUMMIES! Anderson and Melendez come down. Oh yeah, this angle. Tenay puts over Veterans day for them and then King does Kaufman's Memphis accent for PA. Anderson told Kenny that Melendez volunteered to get his leg blown off, and King says that he's not sure if Anderson's using his mouth or his a-hole. Nothing about this is good. King wants to face Chris, but without Anderson. King yammered on, cheapshotted Anderson and then left. Gunner-Shaw is no DQ. I still don't care.
Gail and Taryn's breasts meet with Kurt about wanting Havok. He makes Havok-Terrell-Kim for the title next week. BPs are on the apron with no real intro having the new Bro Mans slide through their legs for an elimination match against Rebel, Knux, and Steve - so no Freak or stilt guys. Menagerie is outnumbered instantly here. Rebel's ass starts against Angelina. Angelina does an ass shake, gets tripped, and then eats a snapmare with a split! Steve slaps Love on the ass, so Rebel schoolgirls her and eliminates her. Knux faces Jesse and does a cartwheel into a dropkick, leading to Taz saying it's like Lazertron! Tenay puts over Hector. Jesse cheats to help DJZ take out Knux. Cradle by Steve beats Z. Rebel gets a kinky sunset flip for 2, but takes hairspray and loses. Jesse goes after Steve, while Taz calls Velvet Mrs. Pectacular, and she then loses via makeout by Steve. Steve goes for a rana but eats a Last Ride while a chest press cover gets 2. Jesse puts the boots to Steve showing off his thinning hair. Jesse goes for a superplex, but poses, eats a shove and a flying tornado DDT for the win! This was both super-fun and pretty hot with the KOs. EY talks to JB about the slap, while Sergeant Spud comes out in a camo suit. EY faces Tyrus later.
Wolves-Revolution recap. Storm talks to Abyss about being there as long as he has, while Manik brings in Shera. Storm didn't approve of this, and spits on him before shaming Manik. Tyrus is out with EC3, while EY is flanked by Spud. EY tries to outwrestle Tyrus, who rotates around randomly. Tyrus clubs him and hits a chop in the corner. Tyrus gets a tree slam counter and EY takes a nasty bump in the corner. Joe's announcement is teased, while they plug footage from TNA's site of Joe being taken out. Why on Earth that didn't air here, I have no idea. Heart punch from Tyrus and a splash gets 2. Taz talks about doing personal commentary for EC3 while he's on his jet. Corner charge from Tyrus misses and EY comes back with some punches and a really bad flying forearm "hits" and Tyrus takes a worse bump. Big slam from EY. Spud shoves down EC3, but it opens the door for Tyrus to try a superplex. EY counters and hits the flying elbow for 3. So Tyrus is done, right? Because he's lost 2 out of 3. Lashley comes down and EY pushes Spud out of the way and eats the spear. Spud takes it anyway. Lashley Pillmanizes EY's left arm and stomps on the chair and crossfaces him. Aries comes down to make the save with a chair and makes a challenge for a match tonight. Lashley accepts. I dug Lashley looking like a killer here - THE GOLF HAT NEEDS TO GO!
Shaw and Brittany ac-ted. She has some-thing she needs to tell him. He's not going to like it. Gunn-er came onto her. This was clearly a ploy, and her face and Tenay's commentary confirmed it. Joe's announcement is next, and he's out. Joe was carried out last week on an ambulance, so now, as he makes the announcement, the injury's aftermath is explained. He has some sort of upper body thing and he's got a hard decision to make. Joe's not medically-cleared to compete tonight, and he'll be out of action a while. Joe said that when he won the title, it was to make it great again. When he was first here, it was the division that stood for innovation and it was the title that represented the best wrestler in the world. Joe says that the wrestlers deserve to face the best, and the fans expect the best as well. He vacated the title and put it on the turnbuckle. He said that the title is more than plates and leather - it's a beacon for him, and when he comes back, whoever has the title will be hunted by him! This was a damn fine promo and it's a shame it's happening at this point in time, because if this was done at any other point, it would've been something very special. Heck, even as it was, he made it stand out thanks to his delivery and putting the title in the turnbuckle. It was almost like a retirement speech, minus the comeback statement at the end of it.
A graphic shows Uno-DJZ-Low-Ki-Manik for next week for the title. Dreamer and Devon tag match is recapped. Bram challenges Dreamer to a hardcore match next week. OH TOMMY BOY, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU BLEED. OH TOMMY BOY, THE PIPES ARE CALLING! Bram's got something. Shaw and Brittany come out and they plug his Creepy Bastard shirt. Shaw goes to the ramp and puts on his gloves to jump Gunner while Brittany distracts Gunner. Gunner apparently doesn't watch the show on a monitor backstage, although this is a new spot. They brawl and Brittany twirls his stache. Gunner hits a chair to the back and Brittany runs. Gunner gets his chair dropkicked into the face. Brittany and Shaw make out. He goes for the choke, but Gunner counters. Gunner misses a charge and Shaw hits some gut punches. Shaw takes a HIGH dropkick and eats a Cactus clothesline from Gunner. Stun Gun from Shaw to Gunner on the steps. Gunner hits a jumping lariat to Shaw's flying nothing off the top. Gunner puts a bunch of chairs together ala the Cesaro-Ambrose SmackDown street fight from a few months ago. Gunner superplexes Shaw onto them, but eats the chairs too. Gunner powerbombs him on the steps while she calls Gunner a sick bastard. She comes in, kicks Gunner in the balls, which leads to him being distracted, eating a chair, but Gunner hits the F5 or the Airplane Hangar or whatever it is for the win. This was a fine match, but man is this angle bad and I hope it's over. Shaw took a great bump for the F5 - kudos to him for that. Aries-Lashley is next and it's the main event.
Tenay puts over the great Aries-Lashley match from Destination X, while Aries jumps him with the shirt and goes for a brainbuster immediately. He takes him down and gets the chancery. Lashley escapes and throws him out, leading to a dropkick against the guardrail. Lashley fights back and gets some nice forearms and kicks in the corner. Aries fights back with lefts and mounted punches. Lashley pushes him down for an ad break. A horribly sped-up ad for Knockouts Knockdown aired. Lashley hits an overhead belly to belly and then gets a second one. Taz plugs the belly to belly with an arm trap being like Magnum TA or Shane Douglas. Double arm trap overhook suplex. Single hook one yet again. Nice! Lashley sends him across the ring with one more. GIGANTIC one yet again. This is now a bit like Cena-Lesnar from Summerslam, but with belly to bellies, and more variety in them. Better, safer bumps from Aries here. Aries boots the spear! He goes up top, but Lashley tries a super belly to belly. Ear biting and an ear box leads to the dropkick off the top. Tenay puts over Tito-Bonnar, while Aries hits a low kick and a forearm followed by a discus forearm! Aries gets more forearms, then flips into a discus forearm and hits a neckbreaker on Lashley on the ropes to send Lashley to the floor. Suicide dive! Taz explains that you do a discus motion to add torque, which I like. Aries goes up top but IS TOSSED OFF THE TOP INTO THE STEPS FACE FIRST! This was beautiful. Nasty, but beautiful. Lashley picks him up and tosses him upside-down into the steps. Kudos to Aries for busting his ass at this stage in the company's life. Spear is setup on the floor, but Aries takes the bump before the move hits. Double countout finish works for me since it fits the narrative. Lashley's not focused on winning - he wants to destroy. Press slam on the ramp leads to the crossface yet again. This was a really good show overall. Next week's show is the final one on Spike, but not put over as a finale in anyway.
Screenshots -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/wdxjb0tk3vr26xx2hvhf52po29hpmhaj
The show opens recapping MVP-Roode and King acts like a little shit to Lashley, who shoves him around. The Revolution comes down to get Davey's answer. Wolves come out. God do I not care about this. Davey looks either constipated or conflicted. Eddie keeps yelling "STORM STORM!" Davey's done a lot of thinking and he's got a response. What? That there's never a right time to say goodbye? Nope - he's A WOLF. Not a man. Not a shark. A wolf. Revolution attacks and Storm ties the rope around the leg and chairshots it. Storm is great, but this group isn't really all that good and anything that requires the Wolves to act is asking for trouble. Revolution leaves so they can air clips, and then they KO Eddie with the case and destroy Davey's leg with the case too. The case is his feast or fired case, so he can cash it in right now. Tenay says he's been waiting until this moment for the shot. He gets 2 off a base cover, with Manik in his corner, and then hits the Eye of the Storm before cutting a nice ominous promo on Eddie.
Taz says this is plan B, and plan A was to get Davey to join the Revolution. So now all of the pieces of the puzzle fit into place reasonably well. Abyss comes out and Tenay ponders if it's to help the Wolves. Nope, Abyss is the newest pledge, and he chokeslams Eddie, hits the Black Hole Slam and Storm tags in to win the titles. Eye of the Storm to "Eddie" says Taz is done to Davey. Well, the Wolves sure came off like absolute jobbers here. At least when WWE used them as jobbers, that was for a tryout, this just marginalized a team that killed themselves for the company in an incredible series. This had better be leading to The Wolves getting the titles back on the next Impact if/when there is another show because they looked unbelievably bad here.
Madison comes out and does her wave while they run down the Terrell-Rayne feud. Taryn's enormous breasts march down to the ring in a smaller silver top instead of her usual small gold top. Taryn dives off apron like it's a pool onto Madison. Madison throws her into the apron, threatens to leave, but gets thrown in. Taryn goes up top, but is pulled down revealing a cleavagy-closeup. "You don't wanna sleep on Taryn Terrell - hold the joke - you never know what she'll pull out!" Taz brings the funny here. Tenay talks about Shaw-Gunner later. No thanks. Madison gets the headscissors hydraulic drop. Diving Hart Attack from Taryn leads to a pervy spread eagle camera shot and then a close-up of Madison's ass. Madison scoops the legs for a 2 with the ropes. Taryn gets a suplex and flies off with the pool belly flop, but misses. Oklahoma roll leads to a near wardrobe malfunction with Madison pulling her gear. Madison goes for the Rayne Drop, but it's countered into a Cutter for the win. This was certainly worth watching, but less so for the in-ring action and more for the fanservice. Angle calls someone about asking if something's legal. Oh the comedy. Lashley wants a rematch with Roode tonight and Kurt tells him he can't because Roode's doing promotional work and then stares down Kurt in his golf hat. That hat has simply got to go.
Manik rides Shera, and Manik apparently got him drunk last night to lure him into meeting Storm. Kenny King talks about his squad while dressed like a Wal-Mart shopper. MVP's out for a photoshoot, while Lashley's PISSED OFF AT YOU DUMMIES! Anderson and Melendez come down. Oh yeah, this angle. Tenay puts over Veterans day for them and then King does Kaufman's Memphis accent for PA. Anderson told Kenny that Melendez volunteered to get his leg blown off, and King says that he's not sure if Anderson's using his mouth or his a-hole. Nothing about this is good. King wants to face Chris, but without Anderson. King yammered on, cheapshotted Anderson and then left. Gunner-Shaw is no DQ. I still don't care.
Gail and Taryn's breasts meet with Kurt about wanting Havok. He makes Havok-Terrell-Kim for the title next week. BPs are on the apron with no real intro having the new Bro Mans slide through their legs for an elimination match against Rebel, Knux, and Steve - so no Freak or stilt guys. Menagerie is outnumbered instantly here. Rebel's ass starts against Angelina. Angelina does an ass shake, gets tripped, and then eats a snapmare with a split! Steve slaps Love on the ass, so Rebel schoolgirls her and eliminates her. Knux faces Jesse and does a cartwheel into a dropkick, leading to Taz saying it's like Lazertron! Tenay puts over Hector. Jesse cheats to help DJZ take out Knux. Cradle by Steve beats Z. Rebel gets a kinky sunset flip for 2, but takes hairspray and loses. Jesse goes after Steve, while Taz calls Velvet Mrs. Pectacular, and she then loses via makeout by Steve. Steve goes for a rana but eats a Last Ride while a chest press cover gets 2. Jesse puts the boots to Steve showing off his thinning hair. Jesse goes for a superplex, but poses, eats a shove and a flying tornado DDT for the win! This was both super-fun and pretty hot with the KOs. EY talks to JB about the slap, while Sergeant Spud comes out in a camo suit. EY faces Tyrus later.
Wolves-Revolution recap. Storm talks to Abyss about being there as long as he has, while Manik brings in Shera. Storm didn't approve of this, and spits on him before shaming Manik. Tyrus is out with EC3, while EY is flanked by Spud. EY tries to outwrestle Tyrus, who rotates around randomly. Tyrus clubs him and hits a chop in the corner. Tyrus gets a tree slam counter and EY takes a nasty bump in the corner. Joe's announcement is teased, while they plug footage from TNA's site of Joe being taken out. Why on Earth that didn't air here, I have no idea. Heart punch from Tyrus and a splash gets 2. Taz talks about doing personal commentary for EC3 while he's on his jet. Corner charge from Tyrus misses and EY comes back with some punches and a really bad flying forearm "hits" and Tyrus takes a worse bump. Big slam from EY. Spud shoves down EC3, but it opens the door for Tyrus to try a superplex. EY counters and hits the flying elbow for 3. So Tyrus is done, right? Because he's lost 2 out of 3. Lashley comes down and EY pushes Spud out of the way and eats the spear. Spud takes it anyway. Lashley Pillmanizes EY's left arm and stomps on the chair and crossfaces him. Aries comes down to make the save with a chair and makes a challenge for a match tonight. Lashley accepts. I dug Lashley looking like a killer here - THE GOLF HAT NEEDS TO GO!
Shaw and Brittany ac-ted. She has some-thing she needs to tell him. He's not going to like it. Gunn-er came onto her. This was clearly a ploy, and her face and Tenay's commentary confirmed it. Joe's announcement is next, and he's out. Joe was carried out last week on an ambulance, so now, as he makes the announcement, the injury's aftermath is explained. He has some sort of upper body thing and he's got a hard decision to make. Joe's not medically-cleared to compete tonight, and he'll be out of action a while. Joe said that when he won the title, it was to make it great again. When he was first here, it was the division that stood for innovation and it was the title that represented the best wrestler in the world. Joe says that the wrestlers deserve to face the best, and the fans expect the best as well. He vacated the title and put it on the turnbuckle. He said that the title is more than plates and leather - it's a beacon for him, and when he comes back, whoever has the title will be hunted by him! This was a damn fine promo and it's a shame it's happening at this point in time, because if this was done at any other point, it would've been something very special. Heck, even as it was, he made it stand out thanks to his delivery and putting the title in the turnbuckle. It was almost like a retirement speech, minus the comeback statement at the end of it.
A graphic shows Uno-DJZ-Low-Ki-Manik for next week for the title. Dreamer and Devon tag match is recapped. Bram challenges Dreamer to a hardcore match next week. OH TOMMY BOY, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU BLEED. OH TOMMY BOY, THE PIPES ARE CALLING! Bram's got something. Shaw and Brittany come out and they plug his Creepy Bastard shirt. Shaw goes to the ramp and puts on his gloves to jump Gunner while Brittany distracts Gunner. Gunner apparently doesn't watch the show on a monitor backstage, although this is a new spot. They brawl and Brittany twirls his stache. Gunner hits a chair to the back and Brittany runs. Gunner gets his chair dropkicked into the face. Brittany and Shaw make out. He goes for the choke, but Gunner counters. Gunner misses a charge and Shaw hits some gut punches. Shaw takes a HIGH dropkick and eats a Cactus clothesline from Gunner. Stun Gun from Shaw to Gunner on the steps. Gunner hits a jumping lariat to Shaw's flying nothing off the top. Gunner puts a bunch of chairs together ala the Cesaro-Ambrose SmackDown street fight from a few months ago. Gunner superplexes Shaw onto them, but eats the chairs too. Gunner powerbombs him on the steps while she calls Gunner a sick bastard. She comes in, kicks Gunner in the balls, which leads to him being distracted, eating a chair, but Gunner hits the F5 or the Airplane Hangar or whatever it is for the win. This was a fine match, but man is this angle bad and I hope it's over. Shaw took a great bump for the F5 - kudos to him for that. Aries-Lashley is next and it's the main event.
Screenshots -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/wdxjb0tk3vr26xx2hvhf52po29hpmhaj
Monday, November 10, 2014
WWE Raw 11-10-14
This is a pre-taped UK show, and boy do the spoilers not look amazing. Show-opening video has Vince and the Authority-Cena deal recapped alongside the Orton beatdown. Ryback is shoehorned into the end of this making it seem like the Authority is sicking Ryback on him, in which case, why not shoot SOMETHING at some point for that. Cena's out in new yellow, white, and red getup. Damn it - the budget cuts haven't prevented that stupid English set from being used. They sing the LET'S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS song, which he loves. Cena tells the story about The Authority threatening everyone, and cites HIS BROSKI ZACK RYDER sending out one tweet and being out six months. Randy Orton is his b-level citation here. Cena says he's found guys to stand by him, including FORMER WORLD CHAMPION JACK SWAGGER. Okay, if you KNOW THEY'RE OUT TO HEADHUNT YOUR PARTNERS, WHY WOULD YOU ANNOUNCE THEM!? So he's got the former Team Vickie with him between Swagger and Dolph. He rattles on about Ryback being held back by the Authority. When? "THE BIG GUY'S BACK!" brings out the Authority to a huge pop. Hell of a heel group here.
To prove WWE isn't racist, The Authority brought out Henry. Steph talks about The Authority being a monarchy while HHH yells about EVERYTHING BEING ON THE LINE AT SURVIVOR SERIES. So...what title matches are on that show? And HHH is God now in addition to being the King of Kings. He's making Jeff Jarrett's inferiority complex seem minor. HHH laughs Swagger off, so if you though his World Title reign meant something, well, you're wrong. HHH calls Dolph "the little tiny guy". Cena gets in a quick mention about Bryan while HHH buries him more amid a yes chant. Steph cuts a LOOK AT THE STRIATION promo for Vince about Ryback. Cena calls them wankers so you know they're in England, in case the phone booth from 1965 and car weren't enough. He rambles about Sellout Shield and Sellout Sexual Chocolate. Ugh. Cena asks Ryback to join him, and Ryback says Cena's name isn't on his checks, so he spinebusters him while Steph does the worst Yes chant ever. Well, at least now, after the match was announced, they gave a reason for the match to happen. Rollins-Swagger is up after the break.
Nope - first, we get Cena singing "Yeah yeah yeah" and a clip from the Beatles Museum while a badly-edited clip of the prior beating cuts out Steph's YES bit. Seth gets no intro since he was already out while Swagger's out and gets his theme partially sung by the crowd. Cole told everyone to join the WWE Network on WWE.com FOR FREE. Oh the LULZ of this plug in the UK. JBL buries Oklahoma while the fans go nuts with WE THE PEOPLE. Swagger and his paleness throw Seth around from corner to corner and border to border! Swagger does WE THE PEOPLE on the ropes and that's a break.
Seth does something on the app to get a 2 after the break. JBL chant. Corner flatliner apparently happened then. Jerry chant off of the mid-match chinlock. Swagger sends him over the top while the goons scare Zeb. Love JBL saying that you'll never know when Jamie and Joey have to unleash themselves upon a war hero. JBL buries Swagger for the one time he forget the People part during the WE THE PEOPLE setup for the splash. Sunset flip is countered into the ankle lock! Ankle lock on the barricade after an escape. Goons distract him and he goes into the post. Cole and JBL argued over who gets to use "yayhoos". Curb stomp, but Seth sells the ankle - ha! And he wins. Doc checks on him, he gets up and eats another one. Seth bullies Zeb and threatens him with a curb stomp. This was so vile that they plugged what a great value the WWE Network is at $9.99 AND IT'S FREE FOR NOVEMBER, so why wouldn't you sign up right before the PPV? Isn't it a free full month or does it only cover November?
Generic years-old video of the Miz talking about the troops for Hire Heroes. Epic-ish Bray-Dean recap video. Dean cuts a fantastic promo about doing a lot of dirty things but not apologizing - he's not a hero. Kane talks to Ryback about THE WHOLE DIRECTION OF WWE BEING ON THE LINE at the PPV. Kane tells him he'll be out there to help Ryback, and Ryback is insulted. So Ryback's a face in this segment after starting the show as one and then turning on Cena.
Alicia's out to face Paige, who gets a huge pop and is now in stockings as well. Paige grabs the hair and hits the knees, then eats a boot. JBL jokes about losing in your home country or hometown. Alicia gets a wacky surfboard thing and turns it into a faceplant. JBL talks about Paige going through NXT and it being DeMott's birthday. Rampaige kills Alicia, Paige gets the win and a huge pop. And how about that - she comes off like a huge star in the UK. Steph met with Lana and congratulated her on the U.S. Title win. She said there was no politics in WWE and that AS A RUSSIAN TWIT, she should give Steph her answer about Rusev joining their team. Well, Lana came off like a face here.
A New Day promo. This stuff isn't doing a thing for me. Steph and HHH watch last week's clip of Vince adding the stip and they talked about his standard lines. Okay then. Steph talks about FIGHTING FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ALONG THE WAY! They got sad, and then did an Eskimo kiss. Rusev and Lana are out and they have a clip of the US Title match. Goofy ceremony time. Rusev's using his thumb to cover up the lack of a nameplate. A silly dude does THE silliest Russian accent since Boris and Natasha to present them with a proclamation. They play Russia's kickass anthem but Sheamus has the audacity to interrupt it with his theme.
A Cena voiceover talked about Veterans Day. This was fantastic and like with the WWE 2K15 ad, it was a fine example of him being a good actor when he's given the chance. They brawl a lot and RUSEV DOES THE FALLAWAY SLAM ON THE TABLE! Awesome! King talks about an Irishman and Bulgarian representing Russia defending the U.S. Title in England. Cole talks about Lana loving the domination...excuse me for a moment. Wonky guillotine choke from Rusev leads to, of course, a chinlock. Sheamus starts his comeback but eats a spinkick for an ad break. They come back and exchange punches. DROPKICK sends Sheamus down. Clubbering sets up the cloverleaf, but Sheamus can't lock it on and just stops to kick some ass - smart, it wasn't working, so go with what will. Rusev clubs in the corner while fans chant ECW for whatever reason. Rusev puts him on the top to club. White Noise gets 2. Brogue is avoided. Sheamus is covered in sweat here - they're working their asses off here. Sheamus gets distracted by goons and counted out. Moron. They ran down Dolph-Henry and Cena-Ryback while the heels left. Sheamus looked absolutely devastated here, and while I'm not a fan of the non-finish, he sold this perfectly.
They run down Team Authority vs. Team Cena with Cena outnumbered, and of course, a recap of Raw's intro. 9:30 and they've already had ton of filler. Seth talked to Ryback about putting their issues aside for the PPV match, where THE COMPANY IS ON THE LINE! Seth tells him to take orders from him, not Kane, and he's THE BIG MAN. Ryback says HE'S THE BIG GUY and sets himself up as a guy who takes no shit from anyone. Seth and Ryback also have great chemistry. Matadores and Torito are out to face Team Miz next.
Miz and Mizdow have MIZSWOGGLE! He is so perfect in this, and like any role they put him in. Cole puts over the Matadores beating the tag champs, and boy did that do them a world of good. Zero mention of the TAG TEAM TITLE CAGE MATCH from mere days ago, or the main event Kane-Dolph one, so they sure got the most out of not only one cage match, but two on one show. Miz straddled the buckle in an awkward manner to set up the sledge for 2. Miz sets up the DDT, but plays to the crowd and gives them what they want with Mizdow. So are they faces? He tags back in and allows a hot tag and eats a flying chop. They do midget comedy, Miz gets sent to the apron and suplexed, but Sandow plays Heenan and holds the leg down for the win. JBL references Chono! Cena meets with Dolph and his bizarre hair. Cena tells Dolph to jump ship because he understands - HE'S THE CHAMP! God bless him for making the IC Champ seem like a big deal. HHH dances in and made gay jokes about Dolph and Cena. HHH of all people doing this. He then sings Another One Bites the Dust and dances out. Lead heel everyone.
Now we get clips of the Kane-Dolph match. Wacky Harper video with the eyes says "I SEE YOU BOY!" So I guess he'll be the next IC Champ. Henry ass-whooping recap. Dolph starts by being a moron and charging into Henry with no game plan. Dolph gets beaten up and takes Henry down...somehow. Dropkick sends Henry to the floor, where he can toss Dolph into the barricade from the ringpost area. Henry goes to the timekeeper area and tosses a chair at Dolph for a DQ. Show and Henry get into a goofy war with the steps.
Kofi hops in looking awesome in a blue and white shirt that is eerily similar to one I own. Big Show joins Team Cena. NOBODY HATES THE AUTHORITY MORE THAN HIM. How about Bryan, the man whose career was possibly ended by them? Sheamus joins too. Nikki Bella's Personal Assistant is out to face AJ. They had a skit on the app with dressed in a suit for whatever reason. Okay, she's a butler. All right. This is stupid. Girls did moves while they talked about Team Authority vs. Team Cena the entire time. Brie went for a spinning something that got countered into a DDT for 2. Brie Mode dropkick gets 2. Black Widow's on and Nikki attacks AJ after the tap. AJ took the Rack Attack perfectly - went all limp for it. JBL called Batman's butler Albert. Oh lord. They recapped Dan Rose walking from SD. This was really beautiful, but I have a bad feeling it's just going to be another thing WWE pats themselves on the back for doing for a long time. Henry meets with Ryback who just looks annoyed. Henry tells him that he whooped him at WM. Ryback is NOT AMUSED! A Next graphic pops up, which either means we're getting a ton of filler before or after since it's only 10:15 or so.
Rose came down to face Kidd and they recapped Adam Rose being a dipshit and losing due to his own distraction. Rowan came out in black and stalked the ring in his sheep mask. He's upset that SHE'S NOT HERE! So he goes through the crowd and...yeah this match means nothing. They say maybe it's Nattie since she's not here. Bunny tries to fly in, but Rose prevents it and eats a sharpshooter - well, after Tyson physically forces him to stop moving so goddamn much so he can actually do the move. Rose re-turned heel or something by attacking the bunny. WWE NETWORK IS FREE FREE FREE! Fuck. Right. Off.
OH MY GOD ANOTHER RECAP OF THE VINCE THING! HHH rallies the troop in the WWE 2K15/Survivor Series poster room. Steph calls the team a bunch of kindergaterners for some reason. Steph's a mother and mothers LOVE THE BIG GUY. To show how much filler they needed, we actually got clips of the Peep Show again. Still nothing on the tag title cage match. They basically played all of Bray's long, rambling promo here. Good God. Heyman and Styles plugged ECW Exposed next after the show. After a "next" graphic, the main event started at 10:50. RECAP OF THE RAW OPENING. Ryback and Cena punched around for a bit until Cena knocked Ryback into Kane to piss Kane off. An Ole chant broke out and Ryback did the Thesz press/head pound bit. Splash gets 2 for THE BIG GUY! Cena avoids the Shellshock and hits the shoulders. Ryback goes for a powerbomb but Cena backdrops him. Cena avoids a shouldermount powerslam with an awkward shove in the corner and punches. Falling powerbomb out of the corner from Ryback hits and gets 2. Trip leads to an STF, and Ryback makes it to the ropes.Flying butt-ugly dive over the top onto Cena from Ryback gets 2.
STF. Cena made silly faces, but Ryback still wouldn't give up! Kane gets taken off the apron to set up a Ryback spinebuster and Cena taking the safest bump in history for it. Kane runs in for a DQ. Ryback and Kane argued, because that's what we need in nearly 2015 - Ryback versus Kane. Ryback hits Seth, Kane boots Ryback, and a clusterfuck ensues with Team Cena coming down one by one instead of as a team...so they can all eat beatings. Ryback attacks and powers out of the chokeslam and Shellshocks him! They awkwardly cut backstage to show Dolph bumping, and then Harper appearing on the opposite side of where the beating happened and saying he's a team player. He's in his old getup, but now has a blue version of Rowan's top on. So yeah, this was a one night big angle to make up for weeks of shoddy storytelling.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/lmeaec1e40wkm1brbwrxl465crlyek70
To prove WWE isn't racist, The Authority brought out Henry. Steph talks about The Authority being a monarchy while HHH yells about EVERYTHING BEING ON THE LINE AT SURVIVOR SERIES. So...what title matches are on that show? And HHH is God now in addition to being the King of Kings. He's making Jeff Jarrett's inferiority complex seem minor. HHH laughs Swagger off, so if you though his World Title reign meant something, well, you're wrong. HHH calls Dolph "the little tiny guy". Cena gets in a quick mention about Bryan while HHH buries him more amid a yes chant. Steph cuts a LOOK AT THE STRIATION promo for Vince about Ryback. Cena calls them wankers so you know they're in England, in case the phone booth from 1965 and car weren't enough. He rambles about Sellout Shield and Sellout Sexual Chocolate. Ugh. Cena asks Ryback to join him, and Ryback says Cena's name isn't on his checks, so he spinebusters him while Steph does the worst Yes chant ever. Well, at least now, after the match was announced, they gave a reason for the match to happen. Rollins-Swagger is up after the break.
Nope - first, we get Cena singing "Yeah yeah yeah" and a clip from the Beatles Museum while a badly-edited clip of the prior beating cuts out Steph's YES bit. Seth gets no intro since he was already out while Swagger's out and gets his theme partially sung by the crowd. Cole told everyone to join the WWE Network on WWE.com FOR FREE. Oh the LULZ of this plug in the UK. JBL buries Oklahoma while the fans go nuts with WE THE PEOPLE. Swagger and his paleness throw Seth around from corner to corner and border to border! Swagger does WE THE PEOPLE on the ropes and that's a break.
Generic years-old video of the Miz talking about the troops for Hire Heroes. Epic-ish Bray-Dean recap video. Dean cuts a fantastic promo about doing a lot of dirty things but not apologizing - he's not a hero. Kane talks to Ryback about THE WHOLE DIRECTION OF WWE BEING ON THE LINE at the PPV. Kane tells him he'll be out there to help Ryback, and Ryback is insulted. So Ryback's a face in this segment after starting the show as one and then turning on Cena.
Alicia's out to face Paige, who gets a huge pop and is now in stockings as well. Paige grabs the hair and hits the knees, then eats a boot. JBL jokes about losing in your home country or hometown. Alicia gets a wacky surfboard thing and turns it into a faceplant. JBL talks about Paige going through NXT and it being DeMott's birthday. Rampaige kills Alicia, Paige gets the win and a huge pop. And how about that - she comes off like a huge star in the UK. Steph met with Lana and congratulated her on the U.S. Title win. She said there was no politics in WWE and that AS A RUSSIAN TWIT, she should give Steph her answer about Rusev joining their team. Well, Lana came off like a face here.
They run down Team Authority vs. Team Cena with Cena outnumbered, and of course, a recap of Raw's intro. 9:30 and they've already had ton of filler. Seth talked to Ryback about putting their issues aside for the PPV match, where THE COMPANY IS ON THE LINE! Seth tells him to take orders from him, not Kane, and he's THE BIG MAN. Ryback says HE'S THE BIG GUY and sets himself up as a guy who takes no shit from anyone. Seth and Ryback also have great chemistry. Matadores and Torito are out to face Team Miz next.
Miz and Mizdow have MIZSWOGGLE! He is so perfect in this, and like any role they put him in. Cole puts over the Matadores beating the tag champs, and boy did that do them a world of good. Zero mention of the TAG TEAM TITLE CAGE MATCH from mere days ago, or the main event Kane-Dolph one, so they sure got the most out of not only one cage match, but two on one show. Miz straddled the buckle in an awkward manner to set up the sledge for 2. Miz sets up the DDT, but plays to the crowd and gives them what they want with Mizdow. So are they faces? He tags back in and allows a hot tag and eats a flying chop. They do midget comedy, Miz gets sent to the apron and suplexed, but Sandow plays Heenan and holds the leg down for the win. JBL references Chono! Cena meets with Dolph and his bizarre hair. Cena tells Dolph to jump ship because he understands - HE'S THE CHAMP! God bless him for making the IC Champ seem like a big deal. HHH dances in and made gay jokes about Dolph and Cena. HHH of all people doing this. He then sings Another One Bites the Dust and dances out. Lead heel everyone.
Now we get clips of the Kane-Dolph match. Wacky Harper video with the eyes says "I SEE YOU BOY!" So I guess he'll be the next IC Champ. Henry ass-whooping recap. Dolph starts by being a moron and charging into Henry with no game plan. Dolph gets beaten up and takes Henry down...somehow. Dropkick sends Henry to the floor, where he can toss Dolph into the barricade from the ringpost area. Henry goes to the timekeeper area and tosses a chair at Dolph for a DQ. Show and Henry get into a goofy war with the steps.
Kofi hops in looking awesome in a blue and white shirt that is eerily similar to one I own. Big Show joins Team Cena. NOBODY HATES THE AUTHORITY MORE THAN HIM. How about Bryan, the man whose career was possibly ended by them? Sheamus joins too. Nikki Bella's Personal Assistant is out to face AJ. They had a skit on the app with dressed in a suit for whatever reason. Okay, she's a butler. All right. This is stupid. Girls did moves while they talked about Team Authority vs. Team Cena the entire time. Brie went for a spinning something that got countered into a DDT for 2. Brie Mode dropkick gets 2. Black Widow's on and Nikki attacks AJ after the tap. AJ took the Rack Attack perfectly - went all limp for it. JBL called Batman's butler Albert. Oh lord. They recapped Dan Rose walking from SD. This was really beautiful, but I have a bad feeling it's just going to be another thing WWE pats themselves on the back for doing for a long time. Henry meets with Ryback who just looks annoyed. Henry tells him that he whooped him at WM. Ryback is NOT AMUSED! A Next graphic pops up, which either means we're getting a ton of filler before or after since it's only 10:15 or so.
Rose came down to face Kidd and they recapped Adam Rose being a dipshit and losing due to his own distraction. Rowan came out in black and stalked the ring in his sheep mask. He's upset that SHE'S NOT HERE! So he goes through the crowd and...yeah this match means nothing. They say maybe it's Nattie since she's not here. Bunny tries to fly in, but Rose prevents it and eats a sharpshooter - well, after Tyson physically forces him to stop moving so goddamn much so he can actually do the move. Rose re-turned heel or something by attacking the bunny. WWE NETWORK IS FREE FREE FREE! Fuck. Right. Off.
OH MY GOD ANOTHER RECAP OF THE VINCE THING! HHH rallies the troop in the WWE 2K15/Survivor Series poster room. Steph calls the team a bunch of kindergaterners for some reason. Steph's a mother and mothers LOVE THE BIG GUY. To show how much filler they needed, we actually got clips of the Peep Show again. Still nothing on the tag title cage match. They basically played all of Bray's long, rambling promo here. Good God. Heyman and Styles plugged ECW Exposed next after the show. After a "next" graphic, the main event started at 10:50. RECAP OF THE RAW OPENING. Ryback and Cena punched around for a bit until Cena knocked Ryback into Kane to piss Kane off. An Ole chant broke out and Ryback did the Thesz press/head pound bit. Splash gets 2 for THE BIG GUY! Cena avoids the Shellshock and hits the shoulders. Ryback goes for a powerbomb but Cena backdrops him. Cena avoids a shouldermount powerslam with an awkward shove in the corner and punches. Falling powerbomb out of the corner from Ryback hits and gets 2. Trip leads to an STF, and Ryback makes it to the ropes.Flying butt-ugly dive over the top onto Cena from Ryback gets 2.
STF. Cena made silly faces, but Ryback still wouldn't give up! Kane gets taken off the apron to set up a Ryback spinebuster and Cena taking the safest bump in history for it. Kane runs in for a DQ. Ryback and Kane argued, because that's what we need in nearly 2015 - Ryback versus Kane. Ryback hits Seth, Kane boots Ryback, and a clusterfuck ensues with Team Cena coming down one by one instead of as a team...so they can all eat beatings. Ryback attacks and powers out of the chokeslam and Shellshocks him! They awkwardly cut backstage to show Dolph bumping, and then Harper appearing on the opposite side of where the beating happened and saying he's a team player. He's in his old getup, but now has a blue version of Rowan's top on. So yeah, this was a one night big angle to make up for weeks of shoddy storytelling.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/lmeaec1e40wkm1brbwrxl465crlyek70
Friday, November 7, 2014
WWE SD 11-7-14
NXT's going to be up later today. I've had tons of Network issues with the stream cutting out on that show, so that's been a bit of a bitch. Luckily, SD's up super-early and it's got some good-sounding stuff on it. No big video to start. Instead, the Usos-Dust Brothers cage match begins things. Goldust goes after an Uso with great punches and chops in the corner. I don't recall him doing a lot of chops, but they're quite crisp. He gets an electric chair off the top and gets 2. Follows it up with MUAY THAI KNEES. No need for a chinlock though - just tag out to prevent that. Cole spends eons putting over how NO ONE HAS EVER VIEWED A PAY PER VIEW FOR FREE and asks JBL what it's like. Every show is now like WM. Well, at least he didn't call SurSer their version of the Golden Globes. Jimmy dives onto Goldy, but they tag out instead. A superplex>splash combo hits Goldust, but does the Usos no good as Stardust hits an Oklahoma roll to win.
WWE NETWORK IS FREE FREE FREE. Raw recap. Kane says words about Team Authority vs. Team Cena and he'll face Dolph tonight, and he wants Ryback on their team. Cesaro wants to be on their team and offers up a Ryback match to prove himself. Cesaro dominates with some nice crossfaces, but he's doing way too much in there for a Ryback match to really get over. At least it's good unlike the Titus match, but while Cesaro's a good pick for a house show opponent to help Ryback along, him dominating doesn't help him on TV. Still, Ryback got the win after a second Shellshock attempt by going for a suplex and turning it into his finisher. Kane's mad.
Rose is out to face Truth. Adam Rose has grown a beard and The Bunny hops on the apron and loses to Truth via schoolboy. Rose pushes the Bunny and gets boo machine boos. Christian's out for the Peep Show. Dean comes down and talks about the past with Christian, while talking about the present with Bray. Bray says that Dean has nothing to fight for now, and has no security due to the Shield's breakup. Dean comes after him and goofy bullshit happens so Bray can appear behind him. Rusev-Sheamus clips show the U.S. Title win. AJ says stuff about the Bellas.
Nattie's out with Tyson, who brags backstage from earlier today about beating Sheamus. Summer Lay wants Kidd or something. Summer and Nattie have a by the numbers match and Nattie is distracted by Tyson telling her to go for the Sharpshooter, which she's doing and loses via schoolgirl. HHH talks about Dolph to set up the cage match. It's every Kane-Dolph match ever, but better than usual because of the cage actually being an important prop. Dolph gets hung up on the door and Kane kicks him around, but Dolph uses that distance to get closer to the cage itself and kick the door into Kane's face for the win. I hate that spot being a trope now, but at least it was used as the finish for the first time in 15 years instead of just a transition spot. Good show overall, with the opener, main event, and Cesaro-Ryback being worthwhile, yet still not feeling important.
WWE NETWORK IS FREE FREE FREE. Raw recap. Kane says words about Team Authority vs. Team Cena and he'll face Dolph tonight, and he wants Ryback on their team. Cesaro wants to be on their team and offers up a Ryback match to prove himself. Cesaro dominates with some nice crossfaces, but he's doing way too much in there for a Ryback match to really get over. At least it's good unlike the Titus match, but while Cesaro's a good pick for a house show opponent to help Ryback along, him dominating doesn't help him on TV. Still, Ryback got the win after a second Shellshock attempt by going for a suplex and turning it into his finisher. Kane's mad.
Rose is out to face Truth. Adam Rose has grown a beard and The Bunny hops on the apron and loses to Truth via schoolboy. Rose pushes the Bunny and gets boo machine boos. Christian's out for the Peep Show. Dean comes down and talks about the past with Christian, while talking about the present with Bray. Bray says that Dean has nothing to fight for now, and has no security due to the Shield's breakup. Dean comes after him and goofy bullshit happens so Bray can appear behind him. Rusev-Sheamus clips show the U.S. Title win. AJ says stuff about the Bellas.
Nattie's out with Tyson, who brags backstage from earlier today about beating Sheamus. Summer Lay wants Kidd or something. Summer and Nattie have a by the numbers match and Nattie is distracted by Tyson telling her to go for the Sharpshooter, which she's doing and loses via schoolgirl. HHH talks about Dolph to set up the cage match. It's every Kane-Dolph match ever, but better than usual because of the cage actually being an important prop. Dolph gets hung up on the door and Kane kicks him around, but Dolph uses that distance to get closer to the cage itself and kick the door into Kane's face for the win. I hate that spot being a trope now, but at least it was used as the finish for the first time in 15 years instead of just a transition spot. Good show overall, with the opener, main event, and Cesaro-Ryback being worthwhile, yet still not feeling important.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
TNA Impact Wrestling 11-5-14
Well, today was not a good one for TNA as the previously-planned Best Of Impact shows aren't airing on Spike. Instead, movies will be put in that timeslot. With the rumor being that Spike was accepting them at a low-ball rate, this is somehow worse news than that or IT'S A SWERVE and they've actually done that and are just fucking with them. Probably the former though. I think the last show taped is for next week, so this could be the second-to-last episode of Impact ever and...yeah wow would last week's show have been a better finale.
A music video airs showing Roode's journey back to the top, starting with the contender's match in October and culminating with last week's title match. Tenay runs down tonight's matches and a cute redhead bounces around in the crowd. Angle hypes up a NEW TNA WORLD CHAMPION IN THE HOW! Kurt and Bobby are in a very dim ring with next to no people around them. 'Words can't describe this moment!" - I bet. Bobby talks for a few minutes about being honored about being able to share this with ALL OF YOU. Shame this crowd is so small - really, this should be a fun thing, but it's more sad than anything. I love him saying it's an honor to be World Champion in there with Kurt right now. Of course, that would've meant more if he won the title from Kurt at BFG '11 to add a bigger sense of history to this. Lashley, King, and MVP are out. I don't know how to describe MVP's shirt. Lashley in street gear and not athletic gear looks odd.
I love MVP burying the fans in the crowd and at home for not loving Lashley. They're too scared to even look him in the eye, let alone fight him. MVP says that Lashley was only champion because MVP hurt his knee, so he wants the shot he never had. Kurt asks Bobby if he wants that match and Roode accepts. Lashley looks pissed. Well, as pissed as a guy in a golf hat is going to look. Tag tourney recap. Low-Ki sternly talks about picking Joe as his partner since he needs a tough man who is battle-tested. Joe says they'll put their differences aside for tag team gold and tonight they will defeat the legendary Hardys. This is up next - this should be a ton of fun.
Joe and Ki are out first followed by the Hardys and their theme that somehow works with lyrics that absolutely sucked without them when Matt was a solo act in TNA a few years back. Jeff's black and purple getup rules. Low-Ki is mixing it up with Jeff Hardy in a match I'd loved to have seen for the X Title. Jeff takes control on Ki and then tags in Matt for some arm-wringing. Ki leans on his head for an odd upkick to get some offense rolling. Joe tags in and punches away in the corner machine gun-style. Ki comes back in and gets the Flying Chuck after a long delay. Why Matt didn't move I have no idea. Double team gets 2 for the Hardys, but Joe and Ki come back for the break thanks to Joe demolishing Jeff with kicks and chops.
They come back and Joe sets up the muscle buster, but Jeff fights back and sends Joe with the Whisper in the Wind. Ki and Matt are in exchanging blows before Matt gets 2 off the Side Effect. Joe comes in and eats a punch n the corner so Matt can bulldog him and clothesline Ki for 2. Matt goes up for a moonsault, but Ki puts him in a tree of woe and hits Warriors Way for 2 thanks to a Jeff save. Gordbuster from Jeff sets up Poetry, but Ki gets a cradle for 2. Twist from Matt gets 2 thanks to Joe. Twist leads to a choke, but Jeff swantons onto Matt to break up the choke. Jeff goes for a Twist, but Ki wants a Krusher. Jeff counters that with his wacky kick setting up Poetry in Motion. Swanton kills Ki, followed by a Matt moonsault for the win - a goofy fan went nuts.This was really good - during a better time in TNA's history, it would've been pretty memorable. Storm talks to Davey about knowing what he's going through, and he'll give him one week for an answer. Roode explains that MVP kept him away from TNA while he was in charge, and now he's back as champion and tonight, he'll beat MVP.
OH MY GOD, A SAMUEL SHAW RETROSPECTIVE! Oh yeah, he's with Brittany. They try to get #SamuelandBrittany over as a thing. The wacky flame effects added to Shaw was less annoying than the usual stuff done for the Wolves. Brittany's back with dark hair, so she looks average. Ass is fine though. Shaw now has a creepy rapist mustache. SAM-MULE, GUN-AR WAS NE-VAR YOUR FRIEND! AND CHRI-STY HEM-EE COULD NE-VER APP-RE-CIATE YOUR ART-ISTIC TAL-ENT! Then she licked his stache. They make out and Tenay gets his best line in ages - "while they're riding first-class on the crazy train, HERE COMES GUNNER!" Gunner got all philosophical...and then called Shaw and Brittany creepy bastards. They brawled and Gunner tossed him around. Brittany hops on Gunner's back to set up a Shaw low blow. Brittany gives him leather gloves and Shaw does his goofy choke that I guess is harder to break with the gloves. Brittany stood right over Gunner and they made out. Devon and Dreamer face Bram and Magnus in a hardcore match. Okay then.
A video airs for Mahabali Shera - a former Ring Ka King wrestler from India. Kurt puts him over as a superstar and they show people going crazy for him. Good lord is he ripped. Recap of the show-opening deal. Kurt told a guy to change something from here to there and MVP interrupted. Bram and his generic theme bring their team down. Since when is he the star of this team? Dreamer jumps Magnus early leading to Bram standing around like a goof while his partner gets hit for a bit until Devon jumps him. Dreamer attacks Magnus with a broom on the ramp. A few people go through the motions of an ECW chant. Twitter pants are back for Tommy, who claps the fans into caring. Drinks to the face of Bram and Magnus. Dreamer takes an atomic drop on the guardrail. Taz rightfully buries the ECW guys for attacking from behind. Magnus attacks Devon with Mr. Turnbuckle. Bram follows up with a shirt choke. Cookie sheet shots from Dreamer lead to Taz talking about him being the Innovator of Violence - by doing the same old shit? Drop toehold into the chair from Bram to Dreamer.
Bram attacks with a tiny cookie sheet to Dreamer's head. You could maybe fit a whole brownie on that thing. Double backdrop to Dreamer. End this. It's just stuff after stuff. Devon attacks with a shot to the balls. Poor Bram. Dreamer takes a Tower of Doom spot here in front of maybe 100s. Poor Dreamer. Bram hits a horrible punch to Devon, leading to a neck snap sending Bram through a table on the floor. Magnus canes Devon and Dreamer, who calls for one more and gets it. Magnus hops over eating the can lid, then gets kicked in the balls and tossed in the can anyway. Dreamer DDT gets the win, leading to Tommy's dreadful theme playing. This was 15 minutes of nothing. Gail talks backstage in a very green-lit area about Havok.
ROCKSTAR SPUD IS OUT being fantastic in a blue and white sky suit with his I'm With Spud shirt. Tenay put over the shirts as only being $9.99, which as the owner of a cat named Spud, is a fine reason to get one. Spud asks for silence and this is astonishingly hard to for him to get. He admits to doing some bad things and listening to the wrong people. He'd have done anything for EC3, except that he turned INTO A COMPLETE BLOODY WANKER! Crowd chants "he's a wanker!" and Spud cuts a damn good promo on EC3. He loves his suits, the people like them, and he's not changing for anybody! EC3's a big-nosed douchebag and he doesn't need him anymore! Goddamn is he great! Loved Taz's "Jeremy's with Spud" bit since it fits me. EC3's out in a velvet suit being called a wanker. EC3 calls Spud the biggest loser here and then points to all the people! EC3 offers Spud the chance to apologize. Tyrus stands behind Spud to further bully him - Spud says no and get grabbed by Tyrus. Spud says he's sorry...THAT EC3'S A BIG-NOSED DOUCHEBAG! EC3 slaps JB and he takes a bump, leading to a Spud comeback. Shame they already beat Tyrus or they could do a fun Giant Killer bit with Spud. EY makes the save here for Spud. Gail-Havok is next.
They plug the TNA-Lister thing. Gail's out in a hot white outfit with her left shoulder taped up. Havok comes out and they plug her theme and Gail tries to get the jump on it. She eats a big kick and takes a nasty bump on the ramp. The ref prevents the bearhug slam into the post leading to a Gail escape. They exchange some bad forearms. They keep brawling on the ramp. Ref's not doing anything to actually start this. They brawl up the ramp and Havok tosses her off the ramp. Why do this? I get doing an injury angle, but you've got one ready-made that doesn't involve taking a bump on the floor in front of a few hundred people.
JB says that Gail is not able to compete, but she valiantly...in theory demands the match go on. Too goofball here. Hammerlock bearhug slam into the buckle and then mid-ring. Gail log rolls to avoid a stamp and elbow. Running dropkick leads to the corner bodyblock. Havok drops her with a forearm on the apron. Gail moves and sends Havok into the steps. Gail goes up for some victory roll position punches and eats a drop face-first on the steps! Havok prevents a 10 count. Hammerlock slam leads to Gail countering into her headscissors necklock. Sideslam nixes that. Gail counters...something with...I think a stunner. That was nasty whatever it was. Arm stunner to Havok. Havok misses a corner charge and Gail gets 2 off a blind crossbody off the top. Eat Defeat countered into the hammerlock slam gets 2.9! EAT DEFEAT! 2.9! This has been really rough at times, but it's a damn good match. Gail comes off the top and eats the chokeslam for the loss. Shera eats and Manik greets him casually. Manik offers him some soda and asks for some info. Manik was damn good here. MVP's backstage and Lashley leaves in a huff. King is gone too for whatever reason.
MVP came out for "the main event" at 10:50. MVP gave JB his chains and a fantastic look, like if these sustain ANY damage, it's your ass. Roode's out and yup, the belt looks good on Roode even with that goofy robe/vest thing. MVP's not working in a shirt and is actually stretching on the top rope here. Match begins at 10:52. Collar and elbow into the corner leads to an MVP cheap shot and a double underhook suplex for 2. Shoulderblock gets 2 for MVP. MVP hits Roode with a rabbit lariat, his old finisher. MVP hits a nice running boot on the floor. Roode's sent into the steps and eats a 2. MVP's facebuster hits and Roode sells it perfectly. Ballin elbow sets up a Perfectplex that gets 2. MVP looks great here. Tenay plugs Glory and Bellator's Bonnar-Tito show throughout the match. MVP misses the corner kick and eats a spinebuster for 2. Big superplex from Roode gets 2. MVP counters the Roode bomb with elbows and avoids the Blockbuster. A goofy sliding kick hits that looks awful because Roode has to keep scooting around to get into position for it and gets 2. Drive by misses and Roode schoolboys him for 2. MVP's boot in the corner hits, and he's able to avoid a Roode bomb, but he takes it after the Play of the Day gets countered and loses. Lashley spears Roode after the match. Lashley brushes MVP off. Nice. This was a sub-10 minute match, but damn good for one and MVP's best TNA match yet. Next week, Lashley bullies EY and faces Aries again. Hardys also battle the Wolves for the tag titles.
Screen Gallery -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/fvjclza8i8wjh2zo8kemvdx87y8r0sff
A music video airs showing Roode's journey back to the top, starting with the contender's match in October and culminating with last week's title match. Tenay runs down tonight's matches and a cute redhead bounces around in the crowd. Angle hypes up a NEW TNA WORLD CHAMPION IN THE HOW! Kurt and Bobby are in a very dim ring with next to no people around them. 'Words can't describe this moment!" - I bet. Bobby talks for a few minutes about being honored about being able to share this with ALL OF YOU. Shame this crowd is so small - really, this should be a fun thing, but it's more sad than anything. I love him saying it's an honor to be World Champion in there with Kurt right now. Of course, that would've meant more if he won the title from Kurt at BFG '11 to add a bigger sense of history to this. Lashley, King, and MVP are out. I don't know how to describe MVP's shirt. Lashley in street gear and not athletic gear looks odd.
Joe and Ki are out first followed by the Hardys and their theme that somehow works with lyrics that absolutely sucked without them when Matt was a solo act in TNA a few years back. Jeff's black and purple getup rules. Low-Ki is mixing it up with Jeff Hardy in a match I'd loved to have seen for the X Title. Jeff takes control on Ki and then tags in Matt for some arm-wringing. Ki leans on his head for an odd upkick to get some offense rolling. Joe tags in and punches away in the corner machine gun-style. Ki comes back in and gets the Flying Chuck after a long delay. Why Matt didn't move I have no idea. Double team gets 2 for the Hardys, but Joe and Ki come back for the break thanks to Joe demolishing Jeff with kicks and chops.
They come back and Joe sets up the muscle buster, but Jeff fights back and sends Joe with the Whisper in the Wind. Ki and Matt are in exchanging blows before Matt gets 2 off the Side Effect. Joe comes in and eats a punch n the corner so Matt can bulldog him and clothesline Ki for 2. Matt goes up for a moonsault, but Ki puts him in a tree of woe and hits Warriors Way for 2 thanks to a Jeff save. Gordbuster from Jeff sets up Poetry, but Ki gets a cradle for 2. Twist from Matt gets 2 thanks to Joe. Twist leads to a choke, but Jeff swantons onto Matt to break up the choke. Jeff goes for a Twist, but Ki wants a Krusher. Jeff counters that with his wacky kick setting up Poetry in Motion. Swanton kills Ki, followed by a Matt moonsault for the win - a goofy fan went nuts.This was really good - during a better time in TNA's history, it would've been pretty memorable. Storm talks to Davey about knowing what he's going through, and he'll give him one week for an answer. Roode explains that MVP kept him away from TNA while he was in charge, and now he's back as champion and tonight, he'll beat MVP.
OH MY GOD, A SAMUEL SHAW RETROSPECTIVE! Oh yeah, he's with Brittany. They try to get #SamuelandBrittany over as a thing. The wacky flame effects added to Shaw was less annoying than the usual stuff done for the Wolves. Brittany's back with dark hair, so she looks average. Ass is fine though. Shaw now has a creepy rapist mustache. SAM-MULE, GUN-AR WAS NE-VAR YOUR FRIEND! AND CHRI-STY HEM-EE COULD NE-VER APP-RE-CIATE YOUR ART-ISTIC TAL-ENT! Then she licked his stache. They make out and Tenay gets his best line in ages - "while they're riding first-class on the crazy train, HERE COMES GUNNER!" Gunner got all philosophical...and then called Shaw and Brittany creepy bastards. They brawled and Gunner tossed him around. Brittany hops on Gunner's back to set up a Shaw low blow. Brittany gives him leather gloves and Shaw does his goofy choke that I guess is harder to break with the gloves. Brittany stood right over Gunner and they made out. Devon and Dreamer face Bram and Magnus in a hardcore match. Okay then.
A video airs for Mahabali Shera - a former Ring Ka King wrestler from India. Kurt puts him over as a superstar and they show people going crazy for him. Good lord is he ripped. Recap of the show-opening deal. Kurt told a guy to change something from here to there and MVP interrupted. Bram and his generic theme bring their team down. Since when is he the star of this team? Dreamer jumps Magnus early leading to Bram standing around like a goof while his partner gets hit for a bit until Devon jumps him. Dreamer attacks Magnus with a broom on the ramp. A few people go through the motions of an ECW chant. Twitter pants are back for Tommy, who claps the fans into caring. Drinks to the face of Bram and Magnus. Dreamer takes an atomic drop on the guardrail. Taz rightfully buries the ECW guys for attacking from behind. Magnus attacks Devon with Mr. Turnbuckle. Bram follows up with a shirt choke. Cookie sheet shots from Dreamer lead to Taz talking about him being the Innovator of Violence - by doing the same old shit? Drop toehold into the chair from Bram to Dreamer.
Bram attacks with a tiny cookie sheet to Dreamer's head. You could maybe fit a whole brownie on that thing. Double backdrop to Dreamer. End this. It's just stuff after stuff. Devon attacks with a shot to the balls. Poor Bram. Dreamer takes a Tower of Doom spot here in front of maybe 100s. Poor Dreamer. Bram hits a horrible punch to Devon, leading to a neck snap sending Bram through a table on the floor. Magnus canes Devon and Dreamer, who calls for one more and gets it. Magnus hops over eating the can lid, then gets kicked in the balls and tossed in the can anyway. Dreamer DDT gets the win, leading to Tommy's dreadful theme playing. This was 15 minutes of nothing. Gail talks backstage in a very green-lit area about Havok.
ROCKSTAR SPUD IS OUT being fantastic in a blue and white sky suit with his I'm With Spud shirt. Tenay put over the shirts as only being $9.99, which as the owner of a cat named Spud, is a fine reason to get one. Spud asks for silence and this is astonishingly hard to for him to get. He admits to doing some bad things and listening to the wrong people. He'd have done anything for EC3, except that he turned INTO A COMPLETE BLOODY WANKER! Crowd chants "he's a wanker!" and Spud cuts a damn good promo on EC3. He loves his suits, the people like them, and he's not changing for anybody! EC3's a big-nosed douchebag and he doesn't need him anymore! Goddamn is he great! Loved Taz's "Jeremy's with Spud" bit since it fits me. EC3's out in a velvet suit being called a wanker. EC3 calls Spud the biggest loser here and then points to all the people! EC3 offers Spud the chance to apologize. Tyrus stands behind Spud to further bully him - Spud says no and get grabbed by Tyrus. Spud says he's sorry...THAT EC3'S A BIG-NOSED DOUCHEBAG! EC3 slaps JB and he takes a bump, leading to a Spud comeback. Shame they already beat Tyrus or they could do a fun Giant Killer bit with Spud. EY makes the save here for Spud. Gail-Havok is next.
They plug the TNA-Lister thing. Gail's out in a hot white outfit with her left shoulder taped up. Havok comes out and they plug her theme and Gail tries to get the jump on it. She eats a big kick and takes a nasty bump on the ramp. The ref prevents the bearhug slam into the post leading to a Gail escape. They exchange some bad forearms. They keep brawling on the ramp. Ref's not doing anything to actually start this. They brawl up the ramp and Havok tosses her off the ramp. Why do this? I get doing an injury angle, but you've got one ready-made that doesn't involve taking a bump on the floor in front of a few hundred people.
JB says that Gail is not able to compete, but she valiantly...in theory demands the match go on. Too goofball here. Hammerlock bearhug slam into the buckle and then mid-ring. Gail log rolls to avoid a stamp and elbow. Running dropkick leads to the corner bodyblock. Havok drops her with a forearm on the apron. Gail moves and sends Havok into the steps. Gail goes up for some victory roll position punches and eats a drop face-first on the steps! Havok prevents a 10 count. Hammerlock slam leads to Gail countering into her headscissors necklock. Sideslam nixes that. Gail counters...something with...I think a stunner. That was nasty whatever it was. Arm stunner to Havok. Havok misses a corner charge and Gail gets 2 off a blind crossbody off the top. Eat Defeat countered into the hammerlock slam gets 2.9! EAT DEFEAT! 2.9! This has been really rough at times, but it's a damn good match. Gail comes off the top and eats the chokeslam for the loss. Shera eats and Manik greets him casually. Manik offers him some soda and asks for some info. Manik was damn good here. MVP's backstage and Lashley leaves in a huff. King is gone too for whatever reason.
MVP came out for "the main event" at 10:50. MVP gave JB his chains and a fantastic look, like if these sustain ANY damage, it's your ass. Roode's out and yup, the belt looks good on Roode even with that goofy robe/vest thing. MVP's not working in a shirt and is actually stretching on the top rope here. Match begins at 10:52. Collar and elbow into the corner leads to an MVP cheap shot and a double underhook suplex for 2. Shoulderblock gets 2 for MVP. MVP hits Roode with a rabbit lariat, his old finisher. MVP hits a nice running boot on the floor. Roode's sent into the steps and eats a 2. MVP's facebuster hits and Roode sells it perfectly. Ballin elbow sets up a Perfectplex that gets 2. MVP looks great here. Tenay plugs Glory and Bellator's Bonnar-Tito show throughout the match. MVP misses the corner kick and eats a spinebuster for 2. Big superplex from Roode gets 2. MVP counters the Roode bomb with elbows and avoids the Blockbuster. A goofy sliding kick hits that looks awful because Roode has to keep scooting around to get into position for it and gets 2. Drive by misses and Roode schoolboys him for 2. MVP's boot in the corner hits, and he's able to avoid a Roode bomb, but he takes it after the Play of the Day gets countered and loses. Lashley spears Roode after the match. Lashley brushes MVP off. Nice. This was a sub-10 minute match, but damn good for one and MVP's best TNA match yet. Next week, Lashley bullies EY and faces Aries again. Hardys also battle the Wolves for the tag titles.
Screen Gallery -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/fvjclza8i8wjh2zo8kemvdx87y8r0sff
Monday, November 3, 2014
WWE Raw 11-3-14
Holy crap, it's November already! 2014 has flown by. Before the pre-show, it's the week in WWE. I've never watched this, but the last five or so minutes recap all of SD's important events and showcase the RKO Vine thing. This goes on way too long and has an industry-exposing bit with soccer players doing it and then no-selling. Byron talks about THE MEMBERS OF THE UNIVERSE SIGNING UP FOR FREE! "If you're watching on the WWE Network, YOU'RE WATCHING FOR FREE!" No, only if you're new. I'm paying $10 for this goofy shit. Booker's talking about a pre-show posedown or something for the PPV. Booker plugs the US Title match and Riley is JUST AMAZED. YOU GETTIN IT FOR FREE. YOU GETTIN IT FOR FREE. 7:32 by the way.
Cena-Authority recap. I'M GONNA GO. THROUGH THA FUTURE! Ugh. I'll go with Halo Master Chief Collection instead of this. Opted for Volgarr instead - fun game. Booker asks Riley who will win Team Cena vs. Team Authority. HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU PICK TEAM CENA VERSUS TEAM AUTHORITY WHEN THE ROSTER HASN'T BEEN ANNOUNCED!? Henry-Show issues recap. "RUSEV IS THE NEW FLAVA OF THE MONTH - HE'S GONNA BE AROUND A LONG TIME!" WE GOT EXCLUSIVE NEWS BABY. DEAN AMBROSE FACES CESARO in their third scheduled TV match in seven calendar days. "Speaking of not caring, let's take you back to SmackDown." Riley says that WWE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO WRESTLING. Someone get that man a G1 DVD set, stat!
Raw itself starts with an Orton-Authority recap. Also, Cena-Seth. IT'S VINCE! Vince got a HUGE pop and tried to get a face pop for the Authority. Vince himself came out to plug the free month of the Network. WM plans? Nah - he doesn't return for that, but FOR THIS. Vince wants to RAISE THE STAKES! AND BY GOD, HE BEAT THE U.S GOVERNMENT! AND THEN HE BEAT TIME WARNER AND TED TURNER, AND WCW. HE BEAT THEM TOO! "Then there was that ficticious battle with God - we know how that turned out." Hilarious. If the Authority loses, they will no longer be the Authority. Boy, it's a real shame this Authority thing really isn't over given the level of its TV time. If it was, then they might've driven some buys/free subs. So then Jon Moxley came out confront Vince McMahon. Or nothing. He just walks to the ring and makes wacky faces. I guess it's time for Ambrose-Cesaro.
But first, Vince leaves the show to Steph and HHH. HHH and Steph are confused - clearly they only read the 3:30 PM version of the script. Cesaro came out to NOTHING. Zero reaction at all to this man. They showed clips of the SD match and quoted Charlie Brown in 2014. They exchanged a lot of basic matwork to start and thus sell you on WWE 2K15's new gameplay mechanics. They fight to the floor a bit and Dean awkwardly goes to the barricade to do a hot shot on it and then do a diving elbow to Cesaro from it. Dean rakes his elbow on Cesaro and blood IMMEDIATELY flowed from Cesaro's head leading to a lariat over the top And then things go to a break with a wacky Bray video. Okay then.
Bray's on stage and we get the over the rope Cesaro plex. MASSIVE on the head bump German with a rolling sell by Cesaro to Dean. Dean's doing everything he can here to get Cesaro over as a badass. AWESOME spot where Cesaro counters the tornado DDT with the pop-up uppercut! Dirty Deeds hits and that's the win for Dean. A Harper video...I think aired allowing Bray to leave. Steph and HHH do a wacky bit about how YA CAN'T LET THEM SEE YA SWEAT. HHH wants to call Orton, THE MAN WHO DEFIED AUTHORITY, and get SETH ROLLINS, THE SETH ROLLINS WHO WON MITB!? Jimmy Uso's out to face Star or Goldust. Or a Matador, as there are no other teams. OH MY GOD, HE'S FACING MIZ! FOUR TEAMS!
Miz is married to Maryse. Miz is married. To Maryse. How is this man not the company's top heel? Snapmare and a sliding D from Jimmy. Jey is doing Jimmy's moves on an invisible move while Sandow sells from the invisible man. Okay, that's great for right this second. Mizdow distracts Jimmy leading to a rope kick and to a Finale for the win. Sheamus is out and Lilian screws up his title. HE'LL BE IN ACTION HERE NOW, AND LATER ON THE NETWORK. So basically, this will likely be a bigger setup for the US Title match. "The US Championship versus Rusev!"
Sheamus faces Tyson Kidd here. "He must knock off THE Tyson Kidd here.". Cole is not having a good night. Sheamus drops back to back knees to the face and then hits a flying knee off the second rope for 2. I like that sequence - it's new-ish, but fits him. Kidd gets the kneeling dropkick and some corner blows. Kidd nails some awesome forearms shots and kicks here. Nattie's breasts are bouncing wildly outside with this clapping. Sheamus gets a rough Alabama slam into a cloverleaf, which gets a rope break. Why not just have that be a finish here? It was set up perfectly and he's used it as a finish before. Tyson gets a neck snap and a springboard dropkick sends him to the floor. Kidd's shining brighter on Raw here than he has in a while. Finlay roll to the floor sets up Tyson using Nattie as a shield AND WINNING VIA COUNTOUT! KIDD FOR CHAMPION OF AMERICA! Or not - ate a kick.
Dolph came out on EPISODE NUMBER 1,219 or something like that. Dolph's out for a match with apparently The Authority. Or it's time for the 20 minute promo since it's the top of the hour. Steph announced Seth, Kane, and RANDY OR-TIN on their team. Dolph's hair is 80% dark and 20% dye job - looks ridiculous. HHH yammers on for ages about how Dolph's a nothing on Cena's team as either a winner or loser. HHH says that no matter if Dolph gets on top, something hurts him. HHH puts him over for being the hardest worker in the company while Cena gets the credit. Well, they did feud two years ago. Remember that? DOLPH WON THAT MATCH. HHH talked some more. After a few centuries, HHH brought up Cena not being here. How has HHH not made a you can't see him joke yet? After several more years, HHH says that if Dolph joins their side, he can get whatever he wants. On one hand, holy shit, on the other, hey, the IC Champ's in a major feud! Dolph says HE WANTS HHH OUT OF POWER. Nice. Now unfortunately, he surrounded by the people he just insulted, so I don't see this going well for him. HHH makes Seth-Dolph for the IC Title! So now the IC Title goes to someone who's actually a major deal!? Well, regularly - man has this feud really helped the IC Title for this exact show.
They start off with matwork and I've got to think Dolph wins. For one, it would keep the 50/50 booking alive and also give Cena's team momentum before the show without him there tonight. Or they just do a fuck finish/brawl. "Why use a big word when a diminutive one would work better?" Or you could say small one there King. Seth catches the Stinger splash into the corner flatliner for 2. Sets hits a snake eyes on the apron for a break. They did a dreadfully desperate plug for the Network. IF YOU DOWNLOAD THE APP AND THEN REGISTER ON WWE'S SITE, YOU'LL GET A FREE MONTH OF THE WWE NETWORK! Fameasser ducked into a cradle for 2 by Seth. Slingshot to Seth in the corner. Corner mount punches lead to a corner to corner BUCKLE BOMB! Fameasser hits for 2.9! Superkick is avoided, but the enzuiguri hits for 2! Noble cheapshots Dolph leading to a shoulder-posting! CURB STOMP, BUT ORTON RKOS ROLLINS! Posing. Posing. No bell.
WM 31 hype vid aired with stadium shots of pyro. Steph's breasts were angry at Randy, who came in and ranted gloriously. Coked-up Randy rules. He said he should fight for Team Cena...shouldn't he want the team to be Team Orton? Orton panted heavily while HHH said he needs Randy Orton. Like the Legacy breathing bit, this needs to be a meme. They get up close head-to-head. HHH's head is ungodly huge. Somehow. He gives Orton his match with Seth tonight. Show-Henry is next, I think.
Nope. Titus. He says a few words before Ryback in his NWO-inspired gear (complete with 4 Life on the back) come out. Titus hits a Train Wreck. This didn't end after a Meathook instead of the running boot why? Spinebuster. Meathook. Shellshock. Authority's looking on impressed while massive FEED ME MORE chants go on. Thank God this guy's back over - it's amazing too since he was dead in the mid-card, and lower mid-card, and now he's at the semi-main event level again instantly. Renee talks to Show, whose match is next. He hypes up Team Cena vs. Team Authority and wants to be on Team Cena. Oh yeah, he did have an issue with them a year ago - at Survivor Series no less. "I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW BETRAYED I FEEL!" I love Show referencing that both he and Henry have turned back and forth constantly. He misses his friend. It's a shame this team was so strung together, because they actually put effort into their backstory.
Lilian talks about WHAT THE NFL PLAYERS WATCH!? WHY MONDAY NIGHT RAW OF COURSE! since the Bills are there. Show's out followed by an extended recap of last week's events, again. Show punches him in the corner and hits a slam and flying elbow drop for 2. Henry lightly shoves Show into the post twice. Show SPEARS HIM him on the floor. Show and Henry should not be taking floor bumps on TV in their 40s. Running elbow to the back mid-ring by Show. Cloverleaf-style Calf Killer here instead of the Hoss of Pain. Henry eats a draping apron chop. Why is Henry being downright squashed here? Show STEPS ON HIS CHEST ON THE APRON. Awesome. Show goes up for a flying elbow, but Henry slams him off into a 2. WSS hits, but Show kicks out at 2.9! Love Henry just going for rib kicks - reminds me to add that to his 2K14 lineup. Steps off the head are a DQ, but this "OBVIOUS DQ!" sure does raise questions about Orton earlier. Loved the post-match slam on the step base and a guy telling Henry to speak English. Henry drapes his THAT'S WHAT I DO shirt on Show after this beating in a fantastic little touch. Steph says that Henry BRINGS RUTHLESS AGGRESSION to the team. Oh God no not that again.
WWE compensated for the network's two inch dick by showing graphics. AJ's at ringside. Brie's backstage, but Nikki prevents the interview. ROWAN RETURNS. And he's a comedy act. Maybe a face. He thinks Renee's pretty, she says thanks. #renowan Nikki's ass faces Emma. They do moves. DIL-EMMA! Dropkick counters the sandwich and the Rack Attack wins. Brie smacked AJ at Nikki's order and then AJ tried to attack Nikki.
Xavier Woods is now MISTAH RANDY WATTTTSSSOOON! Maybe James Brown with the cape bit. Ryder sent out a tweet wanting to be on Team Cena. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. And he gets killed by Rusev for it. Later, it's clarified that this is due to the Authority. Every Rusev squash ever happened. Ryder has once again disgraced America. Can I sign a petition to deport him? Lana and Rusev cut a promo on Sheamus, and it's response time fella! I think he said the exact same thing from SD since they already showed it.
They showed a weekly Network schedule and the EVIL RUSSIANS walked backstage and talked with Steph. Steph says that they managed to grant the title match...yes, we know that. This was apparently a favor now, and Lana says she'll talk to Putin about it. WE'RE SET FOR FERNANDO VERSUS STARDUST. This is a thing that was said. Miz and Mizdow are at ringside for commentary. I guess now they're in the tag title hunt to go for 3 titles in 3 PPVs. Miz was fucking awful on commentary. The bull knocked Goldust into the goofs, backstabber wins. Vince recap. Randy-HHH-Seth recap.
Back from the break, we get ANOTHER RECAP, now of the Orton RKO to Seth last week. On SD, it's the Dust Bros against the Usos for the tag titles. Why is this a cage match, and why is a cage match being put on SD? Orton came out and flexed his pecs. I liked the Authority A squad being with Orton while Seth gets Noble and Mercury. Orton attacks with a clothesline and some stuff on the floor for a break. Back and Seth's mid-ring with Orton on the floor. Orton avoids a plancha and gets a mid-ring chinlock. Ref says "going home in 5". Seth works on the arm for some reason. Orton clears the table and the commentary sounds all echoey. Seth hits the kick and sends Orton down, but not for long. Orton gets a superplex for 2. One guy yells NOBLE! Seth counters the draping DDT and hits a suicide dive while the commentary gets wonky again.
FLYING KNEE FROM SETH shockingly doesn't lead to an RKO. Cole says HHH and Steph want this match over NOW, right at that 5 minute mark. Mid-ring enzuiguri sets up the curb stomp, but Orton counters with a powerslam for 2. RKO COUNTERED INTO A BACKSLIDE FOR THE WIN! Well, that's why Seth didn't lose earlier in any way, shape, or form. Orton's pissed and there's a ring full of goons. Randy shakes Noble's hand. No RKO. Ditto Mercury. Same with Seth and Kane. Crowd's chanting for an RKO. Seth says he's the little man and Orton's the bigger man and he's sorry. "I'm sorry too" leads to an RKO. Orton's crazy post-match brawl with all of them ruled. Orton even got color here. LOL @ Kane tripping on Orton. Seth did Orton's pose AND THEN CURB STOMPED HIM OFF THE TABLE ONTO THE STEPS. It's a damn shame we're not getting this version of Seth as WWE Champion because he deserves it and he'd be perfect in the role as the young lion corporate champ.
The post-Raw stuff on the Network features so many graphics that they're actually obscuring other graphics. They show more replays of the attack and it's clear that Orton was cut open by a pen. They give the US Title match a big-match intro and Cole points out A NEW FACT - Sheamus has never tapped out in 5 years. I really like this black/blue/white getup on Rusev - I should try it out in FPR. Corner headbutt by Rusev. CLUBBERING TIME, but Rusev counters, and Sheamus counters that with headbutts and eats a big round kick to the gut from the apron. Sheamus dives off the apron and eats a powerslam on the floor. "YOUR VODKA STINKS!" Ah, the crowd tonight. Rusev gets the spinning wheel kicks and twirls. TWIRLS FOR...communism? Kneeling head and arm choke from Rusev - I should really give that to him in FPR since it's in there. Spinning powerslam from Sheamus. Running axehandles set up the knee. Loving the reverse chest clubs. A fan holds up an I A RONDA ROUSEY GUY sign. Accolade time, but Rusev can't lock it on. White Noise gets 2! Crowd chants this is awesome, and it is. It's Rusev's best match to date. Brogue kick misses in the corner. Tons of kicks! ACCOLADE! TIME FOR A NEW CHAMP! The crowd, after 4 hours, is hot AND RUSEV WINS VIA PASSOUT! YES! HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE ON THE NETWORK! I can't wait to see him wear it - it matches his gear perfectly. I am genuinely excited by this since the belt's on a top-level act and it's one who's protected AND over.
Screen Gallery -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/nzxjdby0ua2dy7zyykxnmpu48k2vpa5cS
Cena-Authority recap. I'M GONNA GO. THROUGH THA FUTURE! Ugh. I'll go with Halo Master Chief Collection instead of this. Opted for Volgarr instead - fun game. Booker asks Riley who will win Team Cena vs. Team Authority. HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU PICK TEAM CENA VERSUS TEAM AUTHORITY WHEN THE ROSTER HASN'T BEEN ANNOUNCED!? Henry-Show issues recap. "RUSEV IS THE NEW FLAVA OF THE MONTH - HE'S GONNA BE AROUND A LONG TIME!" WE GOT EXCLUSIVE NEWS BABY. DEAN AMBROSE FACES CESARO in their third scheduled TV match in seven calendar days. "Speaking of not caring, let's take you back to SmackDown." Riley says that WWE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO WRESTLING. Someone get that man a G1 DVD set, stat!
But first, Vince leaves the show to Steph and HHH. HHH and Steph are confused - clearly they only read the 3:30 PM version of the script. Cesaro came out to NOTHING. Zero reaction at all to this man. They showed clips of the SD match and quoted Charlie Brown in 2014. They exchanged a lot of basic matwork to start and thus sell you on WWE 2K15's new gameplay mechanics. They fight to the floor a bit and Dean awkwardly goes to the barricade to do a hot shot on it and then do a diving elbow to Cesaro from it. Dean rakes his elbow on Cesaro and blood IMMEDIATELY flowed from Cesaro's head leading to a lariat over the top And then things go to a break with a wacky Bray video. Okay then.
Bray's on stage and we get the over the rope Cesaro plex. MASSIVE on the head bump German with a rolling sell by Cesaro to Dean. Dean's doing everything he can here to get Cesaro over as a badass. AWESOME spot where Cesaro counters the tornado DDT with the pop-up uppercut! Dirty Deeds hits and that's the win for Dean. A Harper video...I think aired allowing Bray to leave. Steph and HHH do a wacky bit about how YA CAN'T LET THEM SEE YA SWEAT. HHH wants to call Orton, THE MAN WHO DEFIED AUTHORITY, and get SETH ROLLINS, THE SETH ROLLINS WHO WON MITB!? Jimmy Uso's out to face Star or Goldust. Or a Matador, as there are no other teams. OH MY GOD, HE'S FACING MIZ! FOUR TEAMS!
Miz is married to Maryse. Miz is married. To Maryse. How is this man not the company's top heel? Snapmare and a sliding D from Jimmy. Jey is doing Jimmy's moves on an invisible move while Sandow sells from the invisible man. Okay, that's great for right this second. Mizdow distracts Jimmy leading to a rope kick and to a Finale for the win. Sheamus is out and Lilian screws up his title. HE'LL BE IN ACTION HERE NOW, AND LATER ON THE NETWORK. So basically, this will likely be a bigger setup for the US Title match. "The US Championship versus Rusev!"
Dolph came out on EPISODE NUMBER 1,219 or something like that. Dolph's out for a match with apparently The Authority. Or it's time for the 20 minute promo since it's the top of the hour. Steph announced Seth, Kane, and RANDY OR-TIN on their team. Dolph's hair is 80% dark and 20% dye job - looks ridiculous. HHH yammers on for ages about how Dolph's a nothing on Cena's team as either a winner or loser. HHH says that no matter if Dolph gets on top, something hurts him. HHH puts him over for being the hardest worker in the company while Cena gets the credit. Well, they did feud two years ago. Remember that? DOLPH WON THAT MATCH. HHH talked some more. After a few centuries, HHH brought up Cena not being here. How has HHH not made a you can't see him joke yet? After several more years, HHH says that if Dolph joins their side, he can get whatever he wants. On one hand, holy shit, on the other, hey, the IC Champ's in a major feud! Dolph says HE WANTS HHH OUT OF POWER. Nice. Now unfortunately, he surrounded by the people he just insulted, so I don't see this going well for him. HHH makes Seth-Dolph for the IC Title! So now the IC Title goes to someone who's actually a major deal!? Well, regularly - man has this feud really helped the IC Title for this exact show.
They start off with matwork and I've got to think Dolph wins. For one, it would keep the 50/50 booking alive and also give Cena's team momentum before the show without him there tonight. Or they just do a fuck finish/brawl. "Why use a big word when a diminutive one would work better?" Or you could say small one there King. Seth catches the Stinger splash into the corner flatliner for 2. Sets hits a snake eyes on the apron for a break. They did a dreadfully desperate plug for the Network. IF YOU DOWNLOAD THE APP AND THEN REGISTER ON WWE'S SITE, YOU'LL GET A FREE MONTH OF THE WWE NETWORK! Fameasser ducked into a cradle for 2 by Seth. Slingshot to Seth in the corner. Corner mount punches lead to a corner to corner BUCKLE BOMB! Fameasser hits for 2.9! Superkick is avoided, but the enzuiguri hits for 2! Noble cheapshots Dolph leading to a shoulder-posting! CURB STOMP, BUT ORTON RKOS ROLLINS! Posing. Posing. No bell.
WM 31 hype vid aired with stadium shots of pyro. Steph's breasts were angry at Randy, who came in and ranted gloriously. Coked-up Randy rules. He said he should fight for Team Cena...shouldn't he want the team to be Team Orton? Orton panted heavily while HHH said he needs Randy Orton. Like the Legacy breathing bit, this needs to be a meme. They get up close head-to-head. HHH's head is ungodly huge. Somehow. He gives Orton his match with Seth tonight. Show-Henry is next, I think.
Nope. Titus. He says a few words before Ryback in his NWO-inspired gear (complete with 4 Life on the back) come out. Titus hits a Train Wreck. This didn't end after a Meathook instead of the running boot why? Spinebuster. Meathook. Shellshock. Authority's looking on impressed while massive FEED ME MORE chants go on. Thank God this guy's back over - it's amazing too since he was dead in the mid-card, and lower mid-card, and now he's at the semi-main event level again instantly. Renee talks to Show, whose match is next. He hypes up Team Cena vs. Team Authority and wants to be on Team Cena. Oh yeah, he did have an issue with them a year ago - at Survivor Series no less. "I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW BETRAYED I FEEL!" I love Show referencing that both he and Henry have turned back and forth constantly. He misses his friend. It's a shame this team was so strung together, because they actually put effort into their backstory.
Lilian talks about WHAT THE NFL PLAYERS WATCH!? WHY MONDAY NIGHT RAW OF COURSE! since the Bills are there. Show's out followed by an extended recap of last week's events, again. Show punches him in the corner and hits a slam and flying elbow drop for 2. Henry lightly shoves Show into the post twice. Show SPEARS HIM him on the floor. Show and Henry should not be taking floor bumps on TV in their 40s. Running elbow to the back mid-ring by Show. Cloverleaf-style Calf Killer here instead of the Hoss of Pain. Henry eats a draping apron chop. Why is Henry being downright squashed here? Show STEPS ON HIS CHEST ON THE APRON. Awesome. Show goes up for a flying elbow, but Henry slams him off into a 2. WSS hits, but Show kicks out at 2.9! Love Henry just going for rib kicks - reminds me to add that to his 2K14 lineup. Steps off the head are a DQ, but this "OBVIOUS DQ!" sure does raise questions about Orton earlier. Loved the post-match slam on the step base and a guy telling Henry to speak English. Henry drapes his THAT'S WHAT I DO shirt on Show after this beating in a fantastic little touch. Steph says that Henry BRINGS RUTHLESS AGGRESSION to the team. Oh God no not that again.
WWE compensated for the network's two inch dick by showing graphics. AJ's at ringside. Brie's backstage, but Nikki prevents the interview. ROWAN RETURNS. And he's a comedy act. Maybe a face. He thinks Renee's pretty, she says thanks. #renowan Nikki's ass faces Emma. They do moves. DIL-EMMA! Dropkick counters the sandwich and the Rack Attack wins. Brie smacked AJ at Nikki's order and then AJ tried to attack Nikki.
Xavier Woods is now MISTAH RANDY WATTTTSSSOOON! Maybe James Brown with the cape bit. Ryder sent out a tweet wanting to be on Team Cena. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. And he gets killed by Rusev for it. Later, it's clarified that this is due to the Authority. Every Rusev squash ever happened. Ryder has once again disgraced America. Can I sign a petition to deport him? Lana and Rusev cut a promo on Sheamus, and it's response time fella! I think he said the exact same thing from SD since they already showed it.
They showed a weekly Network schedule and the EVIL RUSSIANS walked backstage and talked with Steph. Steph says that they managed to grant the title match...yes, we know that. This was apparently a favor now, and Lana says she'll talk to Putin about it. WE'RE SET FOR FERNANDO VERSUS STARDUST. This is a thing that was said. Miz and Mizdow are at ringside for commentary. I guess now they're in the tag title hunt to go for 3 titles in 3 PPVs. Miz was fucking awful on commentary. The bull knocked Goldust into the goofs, backstabber wins. Vince recap. Randy-HHH-Seth recap.
Back from the break, we get ANOTHER RECAP, now of the Orton RKO to Seth last week. On SD, it's the Dust Bros against the Usos for the tag titles. Why is this a cage match, and why is a cage match being put on SD? Orton came out and flexed his pecs. I liked the Authority A squad being with Orton while Seth gets Noble and Mercury. Orton attacks with a clothesline and some stuff on the floor for a break. Back and Seth's mid-ring with Orton on the floor. Orton avoids a plancha and gets a mid-ring chinlock. Ref says "going home in 5". Seth works on the arm for some reason. Orton clears the table and the commentary sounds all echoey. Seth hits the kick and sends Orton down, but not for long. Orton gets a superplex for 2. One guy yells NOBLE! Seth counters the draping DDT and hits a suicide dive while the commentary gets wonky again.
FLYING KNEE FROM SETH shockingly doesn't lead to an RKO. Cole says HHH and Steph want this match over NOW, right at that 5 minute mark. Mid-ring enzuiguri sets up the curb stomp, but Orton counters with a powerslam for 2. RKO COUNTERED INTO A BACKSLIDE FOR THE WIN! Well, that's why Seth didn't lose earlier in any way, shape, or form. Orton's pissed and there's a ring full of goons. Randy shakes Noble's hand. No RKO. Ditto Mercury. Same with Seth and Kane. Crowd's chanting for an RKO. Seth says he's the little man and Orton's the bigger man and he's sorry. "I'm sorry too" leads to an RKO. Orton's crazy post-match brawl with all of them ruled. Orton even got color here. LOL @ Kane tripping on Orton. Seth did Orton's pose AND THEN CURB STOMPED HIM OFF THE TABLE ONTO THE STEPS. It's a damn shame we're not getting this version of Seth as WWE Champion because he deserves it and he'd be perfect in the role as the young lion corporate champ.
The post-Raw stuff on the Network features so many graphics that they're actually obscuring other graphics. They show more replays of the attack and it's clear that Orton was cut open by a pen. They give the US Title match a big-match intro and Cole points out A NEW FACT - Sheamus has never tapped out in 5 years. I really like this black/blue/white getup on Rusev - I should try it out in FPR. Corner headbutt by Rusev. CLUBBERING TIME, but Rusev counters, and Sheamus counters that with headbutts and eats a big round kick to the gut from the apron. Sheamus dives off the apron and eats a powerslam on the floor. "YOUR VODKA STINKS!" Ah, the crowd tonight. Rusev gets the spinning wheel kicks and twirls. TWIRLS FOR...communism? Kneeling head and arm choke from Rusev - I should really give that to him in FPR since it's in there. Spinning powerslam from Sheamus. Running axehandles set up the knee. Loving the reverse chest clubs. A fan holds up an I A RONDA ROUSEY GUY sign. Accolade time, but Rusev can't lock it on. White Noise gets 2! Crowd chants this is awesome, and it is. It's Rusev's best match to date. Brogue kick misses in the corner. Tons of kicks! ACCOLADE! TIME FOR A NEW CHAMP! The crowd, after 4 hours, is hot AND RUSEV WINS VIA PASSOUT! YES! HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE ON THE NETWORK! I can't wait to see him wear it - it matches his gear perfectly. I am genuinely excited by this since the belt's on a top-level act and it's one who's protected AND over.
Screen Gallery -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/nzxjdby0ua2dy7zyykxnmpu48k2vpa5cS
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