WWE Payback 2015

I honest to God forgot this show was tonight. I didn't even realize it was on until I got home from sales training (and passing my test - woohoo!) and I saw the Observer daily update on it. I was going to watch the Simpsons season finale with Harry Shearer's last episode (not counting holdovers), but that can wait  - BY GOLLY, IT'S MACHO MANDOW TIME. And boy does he have the worst Savage impression ever, in every way. During the pre-show, they talk about the Kane stip. Oh yeah - if Seth loses, Kane's out of a job - so he's not losing the belt tonight. Dolph says NOW IT'S PERSONAL. Why - dunno, it just is. Great Rusev-Cena hype vid. BI Bro comic plug from Booker. Bryan Raw recap. Bellas talk to Eden and Brie has improved to the point of almost being able to emote about her husband. TE vids. Truth is out for the kickoff. Why, I have no idea.

 

 

OH FUCK, it's Stardust vs. Truth part 2000. Tons and tons and tons of buffering. Things come back and Stardust is...thwacking Truth's back with a glove. Truth hits whatever his jumping flatliner and wins. From what I saw, that was an ice-cold opener. STONE COLD PODCAST WITH HEYMAN on June 1! Nice. Ryback-Bray video. Sheamus is mean to Tom. Sheamus, A FORMER WWE AND WORLD CHAMPION, considers this nothing match one of the biggest of his career. NXT ad. Ascension vs. the Meta Powers is up. Boy that fat guy in the Ascension's gut has gotten even bigger. Axel is now dressing like Hogan during his WWE '02 run - so this is a great way to kill Hogan's drawing power. Axel eats two punches and he's already Hulking Up. Christ. This is like a low-budget indy doing the lowest-budget impression of Hogan and Savage. Mandow jobs to the fall of man. THIS SUCKED. Great fatal 4 way hype vid.

 

AWESOME hype video to start this off has the 4 way guys against glass. Sheamus's incredible intro presentation are being wasted on an opening match guy. Dropkick sends Sheamus to the floor and Dolph dives on it. I would ask why Dolph has a patch design sewn into his ass, but why bother. JBL goes on and on about Dolph being a great kisser. Sheamus catches the superkick and elbows the knee - I love that move. JBL goes off on Cole for saying Dolph's being bullied. King sides with him as well. King and Cole talk about "backside" and "arse" for a while. JBL rambles on about how a good big man can beat a good little man any day of the week. 12 minutes in and JBL's already killed my interest in this show.

 

After some leg work, Dolph gets a surprisingly jumping DDT. Dolph gets Sheamus down in the corner and gives himself a wedgie to pay off LAST MONTH'S STIPULATION. Fameasser gets 2. Big headbutt splits Dolph open huge and he gets 2 off a superkick, but eats a Brogue kick for the loss. Dolph got about half a second to soak in a cheer. Kane then said words on the phone before Seth and the goons came in to say more words. I loved Kane chuckling at the goons bowing up to him.

 

WOOHOO, THE NEW DAY! They talked smack to an Oriole! Cesaro has now added a swank tight jacket and Sub-Zero face mask! The challengers are also now in purple and white gear and it looks great. Nice back and forth between Kofi and Kidd before Cesaro tags in and hits a lariat. BIG E-CESARO! Great bit with Cesaro gutwrenching Big E, then deadlift DVD-ing Kofi and double stomping each. Delayed suplex powerplex gets 2. Swing gets the first fall! Big E sends himself through the ropes, and he catches Kidd and overhead belly to belly suplexes him! X says he's the mastermind while E gets a bearhug on Kidd. BIG SPEAR TO THE FLOOR TO CESARO! Great bit with the crowd chanting "this is awesome" and X says "yes, WE ARE WELL AWARE!"  Big E mistimes the Big Ending/DDT and falls too early, but they win - so it's now 1-1.

 

UPPERCUTAMANIA'S RUNNIN WILD when Cesaro comes in. Cesaro goes for a delayed butterfly something, but he has to drop him. Big uppercut right after to Kofi gets 2. TILT A WHIRL DEMOLITION DECAPITATION GETS 2! Sharpshooter, and Cesaro sends E over the announce table. Great move where Cesaro balanced Kidd on his back on the apron leading to a pop-up uppercut. Xavier sneaks in and scores the win with a small package. "New Day wins because they all look alike."

 

 

Byron asks Ryback generic questions, and he responds with generic answers. Pre-show video package sets up Bray's intro. Ryback's out and Bray nails him with the crossbody pretty quickly. Bray sends him to the floor and hits a senton off the apron. He comes in at 9.5. DAMMIT, that countout tease didn't end this. Shotgun lariat on the floor by Bray. Ryback comes back and gets a superfall splash for 2. Bray avoids Shellshock and shoves Ryback into the exposed buckle to hit Abigail and get the win. This was some kind of not good.

Rusev comes out with Lana in white. Rusev tells Cena to quit now and he'll spare him the pain. Cena eats body shots and kicks, but refuses to quit. Rusev has Lana get the flag so he can parade it around. Fallaway slam - Cena still doesn't quit. Ryback chucks him into the steps, then brings them into the ring. Cena backdrops him and Cole calls this high drama. I beg to differ. Spinning sideslam into the steps for Rusev. AA on the steps...outta nowhere! Rusev avoids Cena tossing the steps, but Cena tosses him into the post. Cena threatens Rusev to quit or he'll put him THROUGH THE WALL. Rusev refuses to quit, so he does it. What a dick. Superkick on the floor leads to Cena saying the most bored "no" ever.

Cena gets put...kinda into a table, but no sells it. Cena whips him with some cable and he goes into hiding behind the re-set table. Cena gets Alabama Slammed through the table! Rusev goes into the pyro area, but eats an AA on the stage, which suddenly blows up. RUSEV REFUSES TO QUIT. Great character babyface here. Cena has an "old school barricade:...that we have in 2015 for some reason. Rusev gets chucked into the steps again, now with the barricade. Cena gets suplexed through the barricade.

Rusev gets the Accolade, but Cena shoves him into the buckle, and gets put in the move again. Cena passes out and Rusev celebrates. Rusev takes the ring connector off the post. Rusev gets a water bottle to revive him. Cena ducks and gets the STF with the rope against the nose. Lana runs in and quits for Rusev. Oh boy was this way too cute for its own good. Kickoff panel says words. Pre-show recap.

 

New Day is backstage celebrating - they're now the top 5 tag teams ever! They're role models and don't swear...until they found out about the tag title chamber match. Then it's all WHAT THE HELL! Bellas are out. Naomi and Tamina are out. Wait? This is a tag match!? Bellas have new gear that is pretty great - black with red stripes. Nikki eats SHECALLSITTHEREARVIEW for 2. Naomi slams Nikki off the top and...that gets a win. Really? This wasn't good. Swerved ad - this looks awful. Rusev is mad at Lana and kicks her out of the locker room.

ALL HAIL KING PISSBREAK! Neville should really win the IC Title with a 450 off the top of the chamber. Neville gets a schoolboy for 2. Barrett attacks the back with moves. After several more minutes of things happen, Barrett decides to take a walk of sorts and loses via countout. He attacks and puts his goofy stuff on. Well, that put each guy under.  Barrett eats a German, which...I guess makes up for this. Red Arrow hits. Eh. Recap of the Kane-Rollins saga. And also some other guys.

Kane's out first and then the challengers. They fight to the floor and Dean dives on the pile, then Roman does. After some stuff, Kane chucks Roman into the barricade. Seth stomps away at Dean. Kane strips and chokeslams Dean. Roman sliding kicks Kane. Orton blocks the buckle flatliner and hits an exploder for 2. Superplex. Buffering. VINTAGE SHIELD powerbomb to Orton through the announce table. Great bit with Seth going for the fist bump and getting beaten up. Dean and Roman powerbomb Kane on top of Seth. Crowd chants "one more time", they get it, and the table breaks!

Well, that was pretty fun. Dean and Roman say there's not much to do, so let's go buy some beers because it's time for a fight. Powerbomb gets 2. SUPERMAN PUNCH gets 2. SPEAR AFTER THE REBOUND LARIAT, but Seth saves it! Dirty Deeds hits to Seth, but Kane prevents the pin. Kane hits Roman with the steps. Chokeslam on the steps. RKO to the goons. Draping DDT to Seth! PEDIGREE HITS ORTON FOR THE WIN! I enjoyed this match quite a bit - wouldn't rewatch it, but I enjoyed it the first time around.Good buildup for HHH-Seth at Summerslam (hopefully).

Payback Kickoff screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/y5boruppo2qcilw7trrktrygtku9gu0f

Payback screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/9lyv508dij2jijvk8phv71lx088yddln

TNA Impact 5-15-15 Rundown

The show begins with a vague video package about Hardcore War before Kurt and EY cut an annoying back and forth promo. EY will team with the BDC against Kurt, The Rising, and Lashley in something called Hardcore War. I have zero problems with Brooke stretching backstage. Fun little match with her and Rebel facing Marti and Jade. Heels win and swear more vengeance on Gail. Anderson-Tyrus wasn't much, but the announcer banter let us know that Brodus Clay was Tyrus's WWE name due to Tyrus coaching Snoop's son. BBQ Pitmasters brawl between Abyss and Magnus was a thing.



Wolves vs. Dirty Heels was quite good, but hurt by the commentary focusing on stats and not the action. I dug Gail running wild against the whole Dollhouse and then the entire Robbie E-Jessie thing was great. They started it with each guy feeling a bit like a geek, but by the end of it, Jessie was a violent jerk and Robbie was a sympathetic babyface who got three fair wins in a row. Hardcore War was a fun cluster of a match. For literally the third time in four months, they've tried to rebuild EY as as a serious main event-level heel and tonight, they did it having him beat a man up with someone else's artificial leg.

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/100-tna/42567-tna-impact-wrestling-5-8-15-tv-report-hardcore-war

Screens -

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/bu78tbg0evnzyc4nsyq89s0dsklu2qke

WWE SD 5-14-15

Bray sez words about Ryback and Dean goes to the ring and exposits about stuff. Roman comes out and talks smack, and then Kane comes out and Dean is so great. THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE COULD SEE CORPORATE KANE! Sheamus-Dean is up and Dean's style works really well with his. Sheamus clubs him to prevent the dive, but a second dive attempt works. Sheamus gets bonked into the post and schoolboyed - DEAN WINS! Goons and Seth and Kane said words.

 

Lana read a glorious prepared statement about how she betrayed Russia and Rusev. Rusev said Cena lacked focus. Ryback faces Seth and he said that HE'S HUNGRY. Shocking. #FluffyTough Enough video ruled. Seth had an okay-ish match with Ryback, and won with two kneeling superkicks. Well, that's the next-best thing to the curb stomp. Tamina and Naomi say words. Kidd beats Kofi with a sharpshooter. Neville squashed Bo. Rosa insulted the hot dog for staring at them and Rose told him they'd pay them later. Roman vs. Kane's no holds barred match is up and Roman gets a nice diving clothesline on the floor. Chokeslam through a table off a Superman punch gets 2. That was a super-smooth spot. Roman spears him through a corner table and wins. Brawl backstage and Roman and Dean stare each other down.

 

 

 

Screen gallery - http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/cmlg7ccatkqu3x87ltk7gq0njmkig3et

WWE Raw 5-11-15

The show opens with a MYSTERIOUS BLACK LIMO. Yes, it's 2015. HHH came out, but no Steph. JBL put over this man getting out of a vehicle as if a title changed. Cole says THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE NIGHT. Shame they didn't, you know, SAY WHY THAT WOULD BE BEFORE THE SHOW. Bryan will talk about his career tonight. HHH says daddy's home and that means that his kids behave better, so he should say it more to Kane and Seth. Kane and Seth are now officially on-par with HHH's daughters in storyline.

After a century, Seth went into an exposition dump about the events that made it a fatal 4 way match. Loved the fans constantly chanting for Ambrose here. I assume he'll win tonight's main event. He yammered on about Kane and said that Kane and HHH used to run together. When? HHH killed the IC Title due to Kane, made him unmask, called him a murdered and screwed a dummy. Kane came out and was angry and thank God above, they talked some more. If Seth loses at the PPV, Kane loses his job. Tonight, Kane faces Roman. Seth faces Orton and in one of the greatest things in ages, JAMIE NOBLE TALKED SMACK TO HHH. Ambrose is thought of so highly that he gets to beat the goon squad. Boy howdy do I like his odds at the PPV! Dean came down and HHH revved up to his theme - that was cute.

Dean sold a ton for the goons, but he won so the fans will hopefully stop chanting his name. Noble's selling for the Dirty Deeds rules. Cole talked about Bryan making an announcement tonight. Sheamus is out to do commentary for Dolph-Barrett. Sheamus-Dolph is on the PPV. Sheamus gets to kiss an arse on Sunday, after not doing it on the last PPV. Sheamus vs. Dolph and another Neville-Barrett match it would appear. BOY HAS WWE CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE EXTREME RULES. Dolph gets 2 off a superkick and gets a dropkick sending Barrett to the floor.

A POST-BREAK CHINLOCK brings us back. Thank God I don't actually have to cover Raw on the Observer site - I'd be too busy going on mini-rants. After a minute of things, Sheamus distracted Dolph and he lost via bullhammer. After the match, Sheamus kicked the fuck out of Dolph with his shoes. Post-match, Sheamus and Dolph brawled and Sheamus kicked his head off. BOY DOLPH LOOKED SO GREAT HERE.

 

 People in over 100 countries have sent in videos for Tough Enough. Harper and Rowan came out. I hope Harper's never-ending stain is due to Rowan's wine. We got a recap of Rowan turning heel on SD for no reason. Fandango vs. Rowan is going on. Rowan kicks him, chokeslams him, and wins. Whatever. Cena US Title challenge is up. First, we get a recap of Zayn-Cena. They need to add this "John Cena Sucks!" thing to his theme in 2K16.

After two months, we got Cena saying he's doing this open challenge to give men a shot at a title who the Authority would block from the WWE Title picture. I hope we get Miz-Cena during this whole deal at some point.NEVILLE comes out! Woohoo, this should be good! Back elbow from Cena gets 2 and a chinlock is applied by the champ. Neville takes him down with a calf kick and Cena bails on the floor. Snap German from Neville gets 2. Neville gets a big Asai tornado flip dive on the floor!

 

 

Cena sells a shoulder to the gut before it hits. Five knuckle shuffle to Neville. High kick hits! Second rope Phoenix Splash hits and gets 2! Modified Michinoku driver hits for 2, and JBL calls it the TAKA driver. AA turned into a crucifix for 2. Neville flips out of the AA and Cena just starts running before he could know he was out of it and eats another kick for 2. Cena gets the STF off a mistake and he turns it into a cradle for 2. Cena gets a big lariat! Pop up kick hits Cena, which somehow leads to an AA for 2. Super AA attempt leads to a sunset running powerbomb for 2. Red Arrow hits, but Rusev attacks him. Rusev kicks Cena and gets the Accolade to take Cena out. A big WE WANT LANA chant broke out. Roman-Kane is next!

 

 

 

Kane came out and then Roman came out and bopped his head to his theme. KANE JUMPS THE BIG DAWG! I'm 99% certain that having Kane kick his ass will really help Roman out. Kane kicks his ass a ton before Reigns gets the punch and a spear over the announce table. Well, that wasn't really good - but still far better than a match would've been. AWESOME hype video for the new ECW DVD - it really is great.

Recap of the Naomi/Tamina beatdown. Brie came out to face Tamina and they had a pretty bad match. Booker specifies that Tamina has put on FIVE TO EIGHT POUNDS of muscle. Tamina shoves her off the second Brie Mode knee and superkicks her to death. 

 

AXELMANIA is running wild and Booker T is saying...some things. On the pre-show, Axel and Sandow did a deal. God, could they not turn their legends into literal caricatures? Macho Mandow came down in lime green and a shitty robe. This is so much worse than Mid-Life Crisis Macho, and how odd is it that his early day gear has become the definitive stuff others use to parody him? Then the Ascension came down before the big elbow. They ranted about ripoffs. So WWE is canon is officially that everything sucks now and you have to parody or rip off a legend to even be a mid-card guy now. Axel "drops the big leg" and one guy saves the other guy from the big elbow - so I guess this is the pre-show match.

 

 

Tough Enough cast was revealed. Tough Enough videos feature a guy whose motto is about 30,000 words. Bryan came out with the title. Bryan said he's been in and out of doctors offices and he needed to be back where the action was. Daniel Bryan feels like one of the few acts in wrestling who is in any way real. He thanks the fans for treating him better than anyone in the back, and then said that Steph was right to strip him of the WWE Title. The fans deserve a fighting champion. He had an MRI and they don't know how long he'll be out. It could be weeks, months, or that could be it for him. So Daniel Bryan's final singles match ever could've been on a random SmackDown. Also, his face is still fucked up from that match. Bryan said the title deserves to be in the ring, so that's where he'll leave it. A gigantic "thank you Daniel!" chant broke out - if this was it for him, it was great.

New Day came out and said it's time to stop being negative after Bryan, IT'S TIME FOR POSITIVITY. They buried Pete Rose. Kofi's hair is something else. We're getting some kind of New Day-Cesaro/Kidd match again on the PPV and BIG E VS. CESARO TONIGHT. Woohoo! 2/3 falls match on the PPV. JBL ranted about football and baseball being fake while the Twitter crawl showed something from Melissa Joan Hart about Bryan. Love Cesaro's NEW-DAY-SUCKS stomps, and more dominance led to an ad break.

Post break abdominal stretch. Cesaro counters with the Karelin lift. Cesaro avoids the Ultimate splash, but eats the ST-Joe out of the corner for 2. Cesaro gets a delayed belly to belly suplex onto E. Jesus. Big E tried to win with a distraction, but Cesaro countered the Big Ending into a wacky lucha cradle for the win! This was a ton of fun. Oh my God, the graphic for the WTFPowers vs. Ascension made the gimmicks look so awful. Oh, and OUT OF NOWHERE, Cole announced a WWE Network-exclusive PPV - Elimination Chamber. So Payback really doesn't mean much as EC will be the SECOND PPV IN MAY!  Holy hell did this come out of nowhere. WWE comes off as so desperate with this.

 

PTPs mocked the Outlaws. D-Young is of course an ass man. And then Bray's theme hit. Bray's finisher should be called Melatonin. He can have Matt Bentley as his underling like Raven did with Saratonin in TNA. Bray talked about Ryback's shattered little ankle and spiders and how Ryback hasn't seen anything like the new face of fear. Ryback came down in some of his worst gear yet and they brawled for a minute. So this sucked the life out of the show before the main event. Too Hot for TV is focusing on disgusting things.

Main event time. They do some moves for a bit before a break. Seth gets the post-break chinlock on Orton. Seth avoids the powerslam by hanging onto the ropes and elbows Orton, who eventually gets the powerslam and a 2 count. Awesome bit with Seth flipping out of the 3.0, and then Orton hits him with the exploder (and repositions for the hard camera).

Seth missed a Stinger splash and Orton tried an RKO, but Seth turned it into a schoolboy for 2. Kneeling superkick got 2. Booker said that move usually knocked guys out. How? They always kick out at 2. Draping DDT hits and the goons hit the ring to cause a DQ. Wow. What a finish. Seth takes Orton down and then Kane walks down. The goons attack Orton again, but Dean and Roman come down to make a save. They all trap Seth and Kane teases help, but Dean hits his finish on Seth. Dean picks him up so Roman can spear him. Orton's pondering face is something else. RKO hits. Orton spear Seth. Dirty Deeds to Roman - so they actually made the hometown guy look strong-ish. If he was going to win, or if they were serious, he'd have gotten a bigger role - but this was a fun little thing. Cole hypes up that Zayn-Owens will be on the Network right after Raw.

Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/arbd8uksd1xrqi4fbubvjobbqfc9uik4