The pre-show hype on USA includes a notice that Brock is here live, as is Orton. Generic show opening starts things off - AJ's still in the intro. Monster pop for Orton as he comes out. Orton buries 20 minute monologues - this is amusing for exactly this show since they'll be back soon enough. Orton cuts to a clip of his brutal beating with a variety of curb stomps. Orton looks better dying the beard instead of keeping the grey in. Orton says Seth just gave himself a stay of execution - he wants to kick his ass tonight! HHH, Steph, Kane, and a suited Show come down. Love the old dude booing them as they come down. JBL gushes over Show and Kane because Vince loves him some big guys. Steph runs down how Orton blew up social media. So...Steph's a face for this promo? Steph wants him to rejoin and he says he'd rather kick ass than kiss it.
Show grabs a mic and he seems somewhat muted. YES! WE COULD GET ANOTHER BIG SHOW MAIN EVENT! Steph talks about how Orton doesn't do what he does for the fans, he does them for the rewards. Steph screeches about how her family has been victimized and SHE CAN'T EVEN SHOW THE FOOTAGE. If you didn't know the angle for WM 25, you'd think that there was some rapey shit going on with how Steph described that. Steph asked him to rejoin and the fans yelled no - good to have a crowd that's alive. Orton is invited to a conference later. RAW IS BUSINESS CONFERENCES! Orton will attend. Okay then.
Barrett comes out yelling about wanting his title - he faces Dolph next for some reason. Recap of the match in photo form followed by a Barrett promo for 20 seconds before Dolph comes out. Cole says DOLPH DID AN INTERRUPT, or interruption. Truth apparently did one on the app and he's on commentary. Barrett is clubbing away and Truth is being entertaining on commentary. Dropkick to the floor to Barrett for a break. We get a post-break chinlock because of course we do. Dolph jacks his jaw to escape.
Barrett gets an iffy powerbomb where he nearly lost him for 2. Cradle gets 2 for Dolph. Winds of Change gets 2. Give Truth a Chance's hashtag was the top trend while Dolph gets the Zig Zag for the win. Hilariously, JBL says Barrett's in a slump. Dean's got the title draped over his shoulder. I guess we're getting a 4-way IC Title program - gives guys a WM payday. Sting-HHH rundown next. RENT A PHONE FOR $30 A WEEK AT RENT-A-CENTER. Fucking hell - I've got a solid phone for $40! WWE Fast Lane on the WWE Network was a huge success for WWE and it's all thanks to you, the WWE Universe, who make WWE so great! Photo rundown for the Sting-HHH deal and we'll see a feature on Sting later. Authority meeting with Steph being a feminist and Orton being there too. I love a meeting to set up a meeting to set up a beating. Steph said words for a long time - okay, so Orton DIDN'T rejoin - SO WHY IS HE THERE!? He shakes Seth's hand and Steph makes Orton and Seth against Roman and Bryan. Even though it's clearly a setup, this still feels like a book missing several chapters. Oh, and that's the meeting.
Sheamus hype video. PTPs are mid-ring to face THE ASCENSION! Ascension cut a promo on the Bushwackers being inducted into the Hall of Fame - why not do this after the Bushwackers are actually announced via video? Cole is brow-beaten by JBL and says HE'S JUST TELLING A STORY! Ascension did clubs AND A CHINLOCK. Crowd died. Darren gets a fluke win on Viktor. PTPs ate the Fall of Man, so no one gained anything with that.
THE BIG DOG came down to cut a promo and PROVE THE CRITICS WRONG! He's out with his shirt and says HE WENT THROUGH 29 SUPERSTARS, but that wasn't enough - he had to beat Bryan too. Roman says "a lot of you were rooting for the other guy". OTH-ER GUY! OTH-ER GUY! came down. Booker's right - that was in fact one of the best main events at Fast Lane last night. Bryan talked about being the biggest Roman doubter. So Bryan is now officially the on-air representative of the Philly crowd at the Rumble. Bryan cut yet another passionate promo about people loving him and not liking Roman. Bryan talks and talks and says SIR, YOU BEAT ME! He congratulates Roman. Well, that's a great way to cut his balls off.
Heyman came down to put Roman over too. Heyman said his money would be on Roman against Bruno, Hogan, Austin, Rock, HHH, and Andre. Christ himself could descend from the heavens to call Roman a big deal and it wouldn't work at this point. HOWEVER, while Roman could beat these men, HE CANNOT BEAT THE BEAST! Thank God they've still got Cena, because Roman's not the guy in this role. Now Roman with Heyman as his mouthpiece? He can be top heel...behind HHH. Anyway, ROMAN HAD REBELLIOUS WORDS for Paul Heyman. Cole plugged the Network's livestream being free for a day to celebrate the WWE Network's birthday. Brass Ring Club against the Usos next. #SaveUsBrassRingClub
Tag Title change got a few images. Cesaro in a generic black shirt is doing wonders for his presentation. Cesaro dominates for a bit before a double team on the floor gets the Usos an edge. JBL approves of Kidd using Nattie to hide behind, leading to Booker defending that and Cole saying JBL was married to Jillian before JBL corrects him. Double flapjack-ish thing to Kidd on the barricade and a backdrop to Cesaro. Usos get 2. Kick an Uso sets up a reverse uppercut to get 2. Swing-elbow gets 2. Electric chair into a splash leads to a cover and a springboard elbow for 2.5 despite CESARO BEING LEGAL. Naomi knocks Kidd's feet off the rope leading to Nattie causing a DQ and retaining the titles. Yet another match that helps no one. THE STREAK CONTINUES! Bray's out next.
Why do I need to see the Making of Dig? I've already seen a ton of burials tonight. Muscle and Fitness hype over MR MCMAHON'S LIFETIME OF LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! Miz wants to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal because it will help the launch of The Marine 4 and allow him to get more roles. Mizdow announces he's got A COMMERCIAL, and Miz is so thankful. Recap of the Bray deal last night. AWESOME hype video on it though going through Taker's WWE career. Shame it's leading to a full Bray promo. Taker will find him. Okay then. OH FUCK OFF STARDUST!
We're getting Stardust-Swagger because DUSTY'S A REAL AMERICAN. Swagger wins via tapout thanks to Goldust coming down and pointing. Crowd chants CODY while Goldust points. We'll find out about Cena's future next. 2 hours in and nothing has really gotten this show out of first gear. Grandpa John moving pretty well here and gets a huge reaction - I'm really missing the days of him being THE MAN because Roman sure as shit isn't it. Cena put over the match with Rusev nicely, other than calling the Accolade "the Acolyte". Rusev looks so awesome with the U.S. Title and gear that matches it. IT'S RUSEV TIME NOW, and Cena AND THE REST OF AMERICA MAY TAKE A JAB, BUT THEY GET RIGHT UP! Cena's been great so far. HE'S FIGHTING FOR AMERICA AND HE'S GONNA TAKE THE UNITED STATES TITLE BACK FOR THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! Rusev is so great - he's been around for barely a year on the main roster and feels like a main event guy who has really grown a ton and improved a lot too. And then there's Roman Reigns... Rusev refused Cena's request for a rematch, so they're drawing this out nicely.
Long recap of the business meeting. Goofy Orton-Seth backstage deal. THEFRANCHISETHEICONTHEVIGILANTE STING STUFF IS NEXT! But first, we get a divas tag with Paige! STING NEXT, BUT FIRST PAIGE. THEN A COACH, AND NOW STING! Cena said Sting made him a fan and why he was blonde with a flattop. AWESOME video of Sting showing him as the ultimate hero against the NWO. Bellas killed Paige and Emma by beating Emma with one move. Wow. When did Brie get a rack? WHO IS GOING INTO THE WWE HALL OF FAME CLASS OF 2015!? COULD IT BE THE BUSHWACKERS, WHO THEY SAID WERE GOING IN EARLIER!? Their video was both good and disgusting.
#Axelmania now has a shirt. Axel should either win or be the first out in the Andre battle royal. Ryback's gear look is regressing badly. He's got yellow, orange, black, green, and white on. Ryback tells him to TURN HIS UPPER MOUTH SOUTH and that WE'RE IN SMASHVILLE! Meathook and Shellshock ends it for AXELMANIA and his new AXELMANIA gear. Main event's next, so that was the semi-main! Fast Lane opener is the SD main event. Joy.
Jon Stewart recap video. Instead of getting a big reaction, Orton now gets no reaction. Great angle. That'll end soon, but wow - he should at least get boos. Reigns-Heyman recap. Bryan dominates with a surfboard and then Roman...smashes Seth's face into the mat. Orton's actually going through the motions of a match here. Heels stick together nicely too with a huddle on the floor. Roman comes back against Seth mid-ring. I don't give a single fuck about this. There we go - Show yelled at the faces for being cheaters. Nice corner cam shot of a buckle smash from Orton to Bryan. Bryan avoids a superplex and tags in THE BIG DOG THE POWERHOUSE who runs wild amid "you can't wrestle" chants. Fireman's carry flapjack hits. THE FIST IS COCKED and the Superman punch hits on Seth. Running knee to Seth and Bryan wins it. Seth gets up and he's in a punt position, but RKOs Noble before leaving Seth alone. They plugged A FREE DAY OF THE WWE NETWORK. No, actually it's just a day of the live stream. Holy shit. That was the show-closer.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/xqhagax7em7qhacyxvqx192822yb38b0
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