Monday, February 8, 2016

WWE Raw 2-8-16 - Danielson Retirement Show

 
 
 
We get a fantastic Danielson career video package showcasing him in TWA and WWE and then Steph comes out to yammer on a bit. Dean begs her to shut up so they can get this signing done. Brock's out in a blue-signed shirt, so they're tailoring it for local sports teams now. Roman eats a table and Dean takes an F5, but the contract is signed. Bryan on NXT video. Bryan looks 15 in this video from six years ago. Well, the beard does hide a ton of his face. And people say Owens doesn't exercise - he's doing a great job of excelling on the mid-card treadmill. They do stuff for a few minutes until an ad break. Owens gets a post-break chinlock, but eats a Fameasser off the apron. Cannonball misses and Dolph holds the ropes off a cradle to win. A surprise finish, which tells me that Dolph's either turning, or maybe they have plans for him.
 

New Day vs. Usos in a tables match is announced. Dudleys want to be in it, making it 4-on-3 with the faces getting the edge. Ryback gets new gear and a SHINY NEW PUSH. Dudleys heel turn is incoming. Charlotte vs. Alicia. Foxy's ass is looking quite amazing during this headscissors. Spear and figure 8 wins. Miz checks his teeth backstage after AJ destroyed them on SD. Recap of MizTV last week. AJ is a WWE pitbull - so he's on-par with Kid Kash and Jamie Noble. Jericho buries Miz TV and says that YOU PEOPLE DON'T WANNA SEE WWE TALK SHOW #38939393, YOU WANNA SEE WWE TALK SHOW 3939393! Highlight Reel stuff is put in place instantly - which is kind of impressive time-wise.  So does AJ get his own show called Redneck Rodeo next week? Byron's "That potted plant's over! amused me. Darn thing is more over than 90% of the talent. "I can't possibly look stupid - I'M NOT SHEAMUS!" is perhaps his best line ever. Jericho sings an Alvin and the Chipmunks song about teeth. Now who was a better band? Alvin and the Chipmunks or Fozzy? They banter and AJ comes out. AJ GETS HIS GLOVE POSE BACK! Recap of Bryan beating Show for the WHC. Bryan's 2012 look was probably his best ever.
 
 

Wyatts beating recap leads to Ryback in his trunks against Bray. This look is both amazing and bad, because he's all jacked up - so why not show it off, but it leads to even more Goldberg comparisons. Not much going on until Ryback goes for a BLIND DIVE CROSSBODY...and then changes his mind to go to the floor after the goons and eat a lariat. After the break, the Meathook his countered with Sister Abigail for the win. Wyatts beat him down. I can't wait for the Ryback-Braun match this will inevitably lead to. Bray sez words, words, words, words, and more words. One guy yelled HUSKY HARRIS at him. Team Hell No recap.
 New Day measures a table and plays with a level. Kofi with nerdy glasses amuses me. WWE should release a Big E album for fun - because he's actually good at singing and they can make a buck at it. Titus comes out. By my calculations, this should be Titus vs. Stardust's 59995th straight match on Raw. Or not. Adam Rose has the skinniest legs in WWE by far. Rose is now the Radical Mongoose. Bo says that best friends make best trends. Rose gets some offense that looks awful, including a Baba-level buzzsaw kick. Distraction schoolboy wins for Rose. Dean cuts a promo on Brock's genitals for a while. Dean eats a giant beating and another F5. So umm...is Dean winning at Fastlane!? Dean wants more, but Roman comes down. Dean hits Brock in the balls while Brock is looking at Roman. This deal really makes me want to have Brock vs. Dean in 2K16.

Lucha Dragons against ADR and Rusev. Sin Cara has the perfect old man luchador body now. Goofy double stomp wins. So, logically, why didn't Kalisto just DO WHAT HE DID BEFORE AND NOT HOLD HIS HANDS ON THE ROPES? Truth goes to the EMP Museum, but is met by Goldust acting goofy. So we're getting this Jimi Hendrix...homage... to reference 'Lil Jimmy. Well, that was God-awful. Occupy Raw recap - it was so ridiculously-forced with EVERYONE IN THE SAME SHIRT, but it was amusing visual. Sasha is out to do commentary. Becky is almost over now after they've buried her six feet under since the PPV. And boy is this Tamina mathc sure to do her a world of good. At the PPV, Becky and Sasha team up against Team Bad. Love Sasha wearing three Bayley bracelets on her wrist.
 

New Day and Henry faced Usos and the Dudleys and the Dudleys turn on the Usos. Not much to this. New amazing Bryan video recaps his career to music. Bryan came out with his cut hair full of emotion. He said NOTHING for eons. Great shot of him with tears welling up and then getting a big smile as the crowd went nuts and chanted his name. Danielson is such a special guy in wrestling, and tonight, everyone in wrestling realizes it. He says it's time to address the elephant in the room - the haircut, and he did it because it looked ridiculous with the giant beard. He cut his hair for Wigs for Kids - an organization for families of kids with cancer. Bryan's speech consisting of about 10 minutes of pure cheers and fan emotion, then Bryan crying, smiling, and going through so much. He said that he got three concussions within five months of wrestling, and he'd get one every year. Bryan says that he fought the "you can't wrestle" diagnosis because some tests showed he was "fine". And now we get to where you can tell that Bryan is clearly scared about his future. He says that a week and a half ago, tests were done that showed his brain isn't in as good a shape as he thought. A GIANT "that's what she said" chant breaks out when he says it's time to start a family. Bryan says he's gotten to do what he loved for 16 years. He talks about loving the Seahawks and feeling like Superman when he did the dive.

He says he has wrestled in the parking lots of gas stations, and in front of 70,000+ in New Orleans. He got to meet amazing people, like Kane. He got to meet Regal, and children that are stronger than anyone else - like Conor. Bryan is crying over thinking about much the fans love him, and damn if every single thing he says doesn't feel real. Bryan talks about the fans hijacking Raw two years ago, which was a pretty huge deal at the time. He is grateful for the fans doing that, because his dad was in the crowd that night and got to see it. He got to see his son get that kind of reaction. He tears up talking about his dad, and it was the last time his dead got to see him wrestle - and the fans made it special for his dad, Bryan, and their family. He talks about not being able to share this moment with his dad, but he can share it with his mom, sister, wife, family, and friends. He says tomorrow, he starts a new life. He won't be a wrestler - but that's tomorrow, and that isn't tomorrow.  Wow. This was amazing, and his time in the ring ends with him embracing his wife.

Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/ppz1rn4zw0r6h5eds5l4aqp4iwfpj5c8

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