WCW Starrcade 1991

It's time for another Board watchalong! ARACHNAMAN name in the battle royal graphic. Because that's a wise thing to advertise when you want to get a gimmick under the legal radar. IT'S A LETHAL LOTTERY here for what should otherwise be the biggest show of the year and now it's just a gimmick. Missy, Magnum, and Eric are by the tumbler with a shitty mic. Hayes and Smothers are teamed up against Garvin and Bagwell.

Bagwell and Tracy start while the 'birds work the apron. Freebirds doing more work on the apron than they'd do in the ring by a wide margin. They stall for about 16 centuries. HOW DO YOU STALL THIS MUCH WITH A LARRY ZYBISKO MATCH ON THE CARD TOO!? I'll say this - WCW looks a lot better in '91 than they did in '90. They actually have lights and the whole ringside area is lit up. They at least look like a major-league company in that regard. JIMMY JAM TAGS IN TO INCREASE THE TEMPO. Unreal. Solid logic from Tony here about how this ridiculous stip could in theory possibly lead to maybe a team geling and becoming a regular contender for the tag titles. MIKE GRAHAM put over a bunch on commentary here.

Garvin and Hayes work tieups for a bit. I half expect JR and Tony to start talking about the weather to have something to talk about. Garvin winds up Tracy's arm and Marcus crossbodies him for 2. Tracy blind-dive splashes Marcus and the yellowjacket suplex ends it. Rude and Austin team up to face Big Josh and Van Hammer. Rude and Austin come down looking pissed - either they're great heels or just pissed that they're working a nothing act like Josh and a shitty worker in Hammer.

HAMMER TOOK A BUMP FOR A KNEE TO THE GUT. What!? Hamer bumps hard on his back for an outside-in flip and then Rude just grinds his boot into his shoulder to prevent Hammer from killing himself trying another bump. I like Rude just grinding his boot into Hammer's shoulder to do SOMETHING that doesn't invole Hammer trying to bump.

Rude, thank Christ, tags in to work with Big Josh. They slug it out and Rude flying chops him off the top for a timber sell. I do appreciate the little touch of the lumberjack bumping as if he was a falling tree. Rude blind tags in and lands a Rude Awakening to end this and give Hammer a much-deserved loss. Dustin and Morton face Larry and EL GIGANTE. Oh this will be a thing. Larry running from Gigante on the ramp is tremendous.

Okay. Larry's random yelling is fantastic. LARRY TAGS IN GIGANTE! Morton offers to be slammed and gets dropped right on his ass. Dustin dropkicks him to no effect. Dustin works with Larry and gotta give him credit, Larry is working hard here. Larry slaps Gigante, who vice grips him in to eat a double dropkick and lose. Well El Gigante is a shitty partner. Bill Kazmaier and JUSHIN LIGER. Now this is two ends of the workrate spectrum if there ever was one to face DDP and Mike Graham.

So if you've ever wondered what Liger would look like wrestling a low-ranked middle-school football coach, here you go. MIKE GRAHM OUTWORKS JUSHIN LIGER and Liger's like fuck all this and just tags in Kazmaier. DDP tags in and tries to slam him, which fails. Mike Graham with a "DADDY SAID SELL!" moment here with Bill. Like really? MIKE FUCKING GRAHAM. Why the fuck is he getting offense in on someone let alone pushed stars and making them both look bad?

ROMERO SPECIAL on Graham wakes the crowd up a bit. Long legwork on Grham ends that. 17 years in and we've got Graham and Liger in a knuckle lock. Liger flips onto Graham and then gets an outside-in suplex for 2. Bill throws Liger onto Page to end this. This was awful, but entertainingly so. "I THINK THERE'S SOME CHEMISTRY THERE!" Oh I can guarantee there's some chemistry with the World's Strongest Man. SuperBrawl hype.

Luger teams with Arn in a Horsemen reuinion against Taylor and Z-Man. Arm gets ping ponged between Zenk and Taylor on the apron before eating an enguiguri. WCW had limited dates on Luger and used one on THIS SHOW. They bring up THE YORK FOUNDATION'S COMPUTER and right there is why having goofball shit alongside a serious World Champ doesn't work. FOUR COUNT 'EM FOUR ALOHA ARNS FROM LEX. WHO TAGS IN ARN AFTER THE ALOHA ARN! Okay, now that's something I've never seen before and love it. The former Horsemen try a double suplex, but Z-Man throws shitty kicks and the heels are way out of position, so they wait until they're facing the hard camera and Lex wins with the attitude adjustment piledriver.

Steamboat teams with Todd Champion to face Cactus Jack and Buddy Lee Parker, before Abby destroys Parker. Due to the cat getting out and being crazy, I missed the rest of this. Sting will team with Abby to face Eaton and Pillman. Abby attacks Sting with a kendo stick. Pillman gets the stick and attacks him with it. Sting backdrops Eaton to the ramp and then rains down punches. Sting works the arm of Eaton, only since Eaton hasn't been hit with a turnbuckle connector, it doesn't do much.

Abby drives a pencil into Sting's throat and Sting dropkicks Abby. Pillman slams Abby and Eaton wants a tag, but Brian won't tag him. Sting goes for the tombstone on Eaton and that goes sideways. Thank God that tombstone didn't get botched any worse. Jack hits Abby with the stick before Sting crossbody blocks Eaton to win. Security tries to get in the way of Abby and Jack to no avail.

Jim Ross' "Quite something" describes the Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl fittingly. Rick Steiner will team with the Nightstalker, as a sub for the Diamond Studd against Mr. Hughes and Vader, and Nightstalker in white looks like a jacked up guy in his undies. OF COURSE JIM ROSS HAS THE FOOTBALL BACKGROUNDS OF ADAM BOMB AND MR. HUGHES! Steiner and Vader, shock of shocks, is great. Steiner does...a thing that I think was supposed to be a slam into the corner onto Hughes. Vader takes out the Nightstalker and splashes him to win.

SCOTT STEINER AND FIREBREAKER CHIP face off against Johnny B. Badd and ARACHNAMAN! Gutbuster slam into the corner by Steiner to Badd. Pumphandle slam attempt by Scotty. Johnny isn't sure where Scotty wants him, and Scotty don't care cuz he'll just yoink him up and throw him wherever he needs him to be. Scott just butterfly bombs the shit out of Johnny leading to him tagging Chip in.

Chip gets a sunset flip for 2 on Brad. Chip gets a boston crab, but Brad cradles him for 2 off of nothing on his body. C'MON CHIP is Scott's best line here beyond FUCK YEAH. Brad comes in with Scott and dives right into a gorgeous overhead belly to belly that ends it. I love that Scotty got a bridge in on a release belly to belly suplex. He was unreal in this era. Ron Simmons and THOMAS RICH, COMIN ATCHA! Face Steve Armstrong and PN News.

Rich's look is ungodly bad. Steve turning his back on Ron is a great dickhead move. Jericho needs to steal this STEVE ARMSTRONG bit of turning his back on his opponent. Wow is that ever a thing I didn't think I'd write ever, let alone in 2020. News hits a thing we'll call a crossbody for 2. "Of all the matches we've seen...this is our tenth match" from Tony sums this up perfectly. Ron powerslams and spinerbusters Steve and wins this and thank God it's over!