F4W Board watchalong time! Raw was only 12 years old here, which is astounding given that it's felt the same for at least a decade now. We start off with FIVE MINUTES OF CLIPS. Mick is out that WWE is back home on USA! He brings out Roddy Piper for Piper's Pit. Piper asks when Mick's coming back and Mick says he loved his last run, and Roddy gets buried by Randy Orton. Piper and Orton brawl and Orton Sr suckerpunches Mick and he RKOs Piper and then Mick. We get Kurt vs. HBK hype with Eric bitching out Teddy for Orton's attack. Kurt's out to face HBK and we get a legends front row rundown. Kurt gets a back suplex and ground and pound for an early edge. Kurt grinds him with a hard chinlock but HBK escapes and Kurt drops down and gets a facejam.
HBK goes for a baseball slide, but Kurt grabs him for an Angle Slam on the floor. BUCKLE BOMB BY KURT! Super Angle slam gets a fall for Kurt! Shawn sunset flips out of an Angle slam attempt and then that turning into an ankle lock. HBK rolls through that for a fall. Kurt locks on a bodyscissors before another ankle lock. HBK gets kneebarred in it and after a long time, he taps. Kurt locks on more leg locks before getting sent down and HBK HITS THE FLYING ELBOW. SWEET CHIN MUSIC GETS A FALL! MOONSAULT INTO THE ANKLE LOCK! Another long ankle lock after an escape and a sweet chin music hits and the time limit expires at a 2 count.
HBK wants sudden death to settle this, but Kurt doesn't. Austin is hyped as is CENA VS. BISCHOFF FOR THE TITLE. Kevin Von Erich gets a nice tribute and he looked...99% the same as he did when he was in his prime. Eric asks VINCE to make his match No DQ and VINCE says no. Lilian gives Vince an intro that credits him with Hogan, Austin, Rock, and talks about how well-endowed he is. Vince says they're uncensored and IT'S LIKE THE OLD DAYS! We get clips of Austin vs. McMahon, which by this point was only seven years old and Austin had been retired for 2 1/2 years. This would be like getting Good Old Days clips for Brodus Clay and Alberto. Jesus. Austin rolls clips, including the pants-pissing and beer bash before laying him out with a stunner.
SHANE'S OUT AND STILL HAS DARK HAIR and eats a stunner. Steph screeches about this being Raw, USA, and HER FAMILY'S SHOW. Steve flirts with Steph and hits a stunner on her too. Linda comes out and asks why he did all that and he says they're on USA and then they drink some beer and he spills beer on her and stuns her too. This went on for at least seven eternities. Todd asks WHAT VINCE'S THOUGHTS ARE ON AUSTIN ATTACKING HIS FAMILY. Someone's getting FIRED over this! Lita's out in tiny shorts to bring Edge out to face Matt Hardy in a ladder match.
Matt traps him in the ladder for a ladder vise grip. They slug it out for a bit before we get a shot of Lita's cleavage. They fight on the ladder and Edge gets knocked into a corner ladder, sending him into Matt's ladder as he recoils off the ropes and bumps onto the other fallen ladder. Good stuff there. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through a table on the floor, but Edge canes him and running splashes him through a ringside table. Matt and Edge fight on a ladder AND A TWISTO OFF THE LADDER HITS! Matt goes for the case, but Lita canes him. Lita moves the ladder when Matt's on the truss and Edge swings him into the rope and Andres him in the ropes before Lita crucifixes him. TREMENDOUS! God what a great act Lita and Edge were - and this was their prototype act before they REALLY got great in '06. Cops take Matt out because he's fired from Raw due to this match.
HOGAN IS ON THE SHOW HERE and an SD tag match is featured to remind you HEY SD IS A THING. Trish and Ashley show off their tits and Mae comes in to show hers off too. Then Ted offers her a grand to put her shirt back on. Snuka takes Ted's money and tells Ted he'll pay him back. Maria brings in RIC in his fantastic black and blue robe. Ric talks about coming back to WWE four years before this and being broken BUT NOW HE'S BACK IN DALLAS AND HE'S THE IC CHAMP! THAT MAKES HIM A PLAYER! HHH's nicknames get put over by JR before they face Masters and Carlito.
The Traps on Trips and Masters are telling a lot of truth here. We see Ric come out and Kevin Von Erich looks at him one last time in an arena. HE'S THE GAME! THE CEREBRAL ASSASSIN! HE'S THE BADDEST OF THE BAD! And remember - OTHER PEOPLE GAVE HIM THOSE NICKNAMES! Flair runs wild with chops but Carlito gets a figure 4 and a spinebuster. HHH comes in and runs wild and wins with a pedigree on Masters. HHH BONKS FLAIR WITH THE HAMMER! I forgot about this turn and love HHH using the hammer like a fist drop - something a bit different. Backstage, HHH kicks his ass throughout the break and his leg is covered in Flair's blood. Flair is so great here as the battered old legend. God, I'd forgotten all about this turn - but it's fantastic. HHH bitch slaps him and throws him in a limo and smashes the window next to Flair with the hammer. TREMENDOUS!
Dusty cuts a promo about being on Homecoming! Dusty talks about Raw memories...of which he has none, so he talks about the guys he wrestled here. Rob Conway comes out and calls them old while looking older than half of them. Dusty tells him to stop talking shit because the table he's eating off of was built by the legends! WITHOUT THAT TABLE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY FOOD! They punch him before a flip flop n fly! KEVIN GETS THE CLAW IN DALLAS! Superfly dive! Women 2-on-3 match is terrible, but has some cheesecake. Kurt and Eric exchange words backstage before Rey and Batista are out for the tag match with Benoit to face JBL, Christian, and Eddie. JESUS is Batista ripped but Eric ends it.
Gene brings out Hogan for a promo before Eric gets squashed by Cena to set up Kurt brawling with him and then an INTER-BRAND BRAWL breaks out. All righty. Good-ish show, but not as great as I remembered it being.
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