Wednesday, August 9, 2023

AEW Dynamite 8-9-23 - Hardys vs. Bucks

 


The pre-show Big Bang Theory features A GUITAR, which is great for Jericho and Jeff Jarrett memes. JAS meeting is up and Garcia is pissed at Jericho for hitting him with a bat. He changed WHO HE IS FOR JERICHO! "I CHOSE YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME - so I don't get why you don't choose us!" Garcia leaves, then Hager does too. He says that he's made them all bigger stars and Tay cuts a great promo on him saying she feels sick due to him. SHE WILL COME BACK NEXT YEAR TO BE A CHAMPION WITHOUT HIM! 


Cool Hand Ange says he loves asking if he's having a great hair day and he's given everything he could. Ange leaves and Daddy Magic talks about how when his wife was 8 months pregnant, Jericho helped him. He had no job and Jericho got him here. He grew up loving Jericho and now he sees why guys like Steen and they hate him and he sees why. Sammy tells him he's loyal - and he won't walk out on him. But he was wrong to trust him because he wants him to work his stuff out - he might be there for him. Callis chats with Jericho and says HE APOLOGIZES FOR PLAYING ANY ROLE IN THIS. 


Hardys vs. Bucks are up. "We have seen them adopt a 'work smarter, not harder' mentality..." Nick dives through the ropes to the Hardys, who can't keep up at all. Slow offense from the Hardys before superkicks hit both Hardys and THE BUCKS HIT 3D! Twistos and the swanton hits for 2.9! Backslide countered into a BTE trigger for the win. Holy God did the Bucks try, but the Hardys have nothing left. Cutler sprays the Hardys down with the cold spray and yeah, that's great. Bucks call out FTR and the champs are here! And it's official. 





SHIDA DEFENDS AT ALL IN with Toni Storm getting a bye in a 4-way qualifier tourney. Cole and MJF skit with MJF wants skinny-dipping with rats BAYBAY! TRAMPOLINE TIME! MJF is disgusted. So did MJF just put the address into Google Maps and it not show him the building name? MJF beats kids in dodge ball. Cole wants to go to war with a kid. Recap of the Rampage parking lot brawl to at least get more eyes on it. BCC talks shit. I love the BCC in-canon taking out PAC for turning on them - good, there needs to be a logical explanation.


FTW RULES TIME! Jack is out in Jerry Lynn-ish gear and jumps RVD, who still looks enough like RVD. Like, he looks 90% like what he did in the WWE run. RVD runs wild for a bit but Jack avoids the rolling thunder. Jack jumps him on teh floor and looks better in the long tights - but he's still swimming in them. RVD MURDERS HIM WITH THE DRAPING BARRICADE LEGDROP! 



ROLLING THUNDER ON THE CHAIR! Split-legged moonsault misses by a moonsault because Jack already moved. Jack eats a table on the floor.  FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH HITS but there's no ref! Jack Chyna low blows him, tosses his head into a chair and then schoolboys him WITH THE TIGHTS to win. I love it! Lucha Bros promo with Fenix saying the BCC stands for Blackpool COWARD Club. 



MJF and Cole time and MJF says all that footage was doctored and his favorite place in the US IS THE MIDWEST! "You're so skinny and ghostly white that if this was the '80s, Hogan woulda snorted ya!" - MJF is amazing. Cole says they didn't win the AEW World Tag Titles, BUT LET'S GO FOR THE ROH TITLES! HE OWES HIS CAREER TO ROH - he's a former holder of every title there BUT THAT ONE. Okay. MJF winning the ROH Tag Titles and then like defending them with a HEADLOCK TAKEOVER would be amazing. He wants the ROH Tag Titles at Zero Hour. MJF says he's some kind of sick pervert asking him to work twice in one night! Aussie Open can't help but be great either. 



Roddy comes out and MJF says he's tired of the jealous ex GF vibes and he wants him to cry into his Hello Kitty pillow and listen to Taylor Swift! Max is a piece of shit to Roddy and Cole says you're my friend and SO IS RODDY! They HUG IT OUT! Lucha Bros vs. Claudio and Mox is up and a lucha dive leads to a Penta driver for 2. Yuta belts Fenix and Claudio presses him into a Mox cutter for 2. Stuffed piledriver from Claudio and Mox hits Fenix! He avoids a doomsday device with a poison rana near-hit and a victory roll opens the door for a double stomp for 2.



Fenix gets the inverted 619 INTO THE HOOK KICK TO CLAUDIO! Very European uppercut from Claudio leads to a Mox tag for 2. Mox and Penta chop the hell out of each other! Stuff piledriver by the Lucha Bros...hits and looks worse than the one Tully did with FTR. Mox cheats to win with an Alex beating from Yuta and the heels win. Also, they tore off Penta's mask and they cover it with a towel. Claudio says SPEAK TO ME at the mask and Kenny will announce his Wembley plans soon.





Mogul Embassy is out and I love Nana dancing to Swerve's theme. Swerve says everyone in Seattle knows it's his house. Darby says that he tried to help Fox and he lived with Fox and his demons - no one knew if he could survive and he had to leave. STTTIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG returns to beat up goons! He lifts up Swerve with the bat and POINTS TO THE ALL IN SIGN! YES! COFFIN MATCH FOR ALL IN!




2.0 is out with Anna Jay cuz they're buds. Shida vs. Jay...God bless Anna, but she's got a bad shoulder and is not great and shouldn't be in this main event slot. Sloppy corner punches lead to a sloppy spin kick on the buckle and the queen slayer. Shida escapes and hit the falcon arrow for 2. Katana hits and wins it. Okay good the show's over. WOW this was just a slog of a show and that's rare.





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