WWE Main Event Live 3-4-14

The show opened with a recap of Steph and HHH telling Bryan all that they do for him and demanding he get out of the ring. At least Bryan-HHH will be really good. Mr. Kane vs. Bryan starts off the show. Damn, that video package was 4 minutes long. Nice kick off the apron from Bryan, but Kane caught him off of the flying knee and threw him into the barrier. Bow and arrow from Kane using the ring post - nice! Corner kick and elbow combo from Bryan. Bryan wraps Kane's knee around the post - I hope he busts out a ringpost figure four at 'Mania. Running Strong kick to the knee on the floor! Dragon screw by Bryan. Snapping reverse dragon screw-ish thing from Bryan! Running dropkick to the knee - this match is so much better than a regular Kane match due to this laser focus. MR. WRESTLEMANIA. I should watch some HBK later on the Network. What a goofy set to hype up on this show - everything on it AND MORE can be watched at no additional cost. They come back with Kane doing some bodyshots and regaining control. Bow and arrow backbreaker by Kane. Bryan saves himself with a tornado DDT. FLYIN BRYAN WITH A DROPKICK! Barricade dive by Bryan! Kick combo gets countered with a sideslam. Flying clothesline off the top by Kane. Big Misawa forearm by Kane leads to a corner choke. Super rana avoided by Kane. RUNNING DDT by Kane. Bryan counters the chokeslam into a cradle for a win. After 20 minutes, it's over. This wasn't awful, but wasn't exactly as good as Bryan's usual matches. They recapped the Usos winning the tag titles. Wacky Scooby ad aired. They officially announced ME airing live every Tuesday at 8 PM.

Mr. Kane was interviewed by Josh. ZEB HAS A PHOTO ON A TRUCK! Nikki's out for a match. I'll predict Nikki with a win using the Nikki Rack Attack. Alicia's hip swivel rules. So Nikki's socks say SUPERHERO because I guess implants give you superpowers. COME ON NIKKI! COME ON NIKKi! COME ON NIKKI! Shut. Up. Brie. Now it's a NIK-KI chant. Nice clothesline from Nikki. Ouch. Alicia landed right on her ass on a backdrop. Rack Attack wins. Tag Title match is up. LEGENDS HOUSE AD. No. Belts look good on the Usos. Great mid-ring interview with Renee. Road Dogg's coming out nursing his left knee. Billy has aged 20 years in 24 hours. Maddox came out, so he apparently has power on this show. Dogg's injury is legit, and since a tag title match was promised, it will be delivered against LOS MATADORES! WM ad. Road Dogg is great on commentary. These teams don't mesh very well and the crowd is dead. Dive from an Uso to Diego. Jimmy with the deadman dive over the top. WCW's biggest PPV matches on Blu-Ray...or all of them on the Network for less than the cost of the Blu-Ray. Double monkey flip by the Matadores looked awful. Poor Dogg got hurt doing a triple flip on the ice after Raw. Damn shame. Bubba Bomb! Then they did a tombstone tease counter over and over leading to a mid-ring tornado DDT for 2. Headstand led to a gut superkick. Double superkick led to the dive and the win. Billy ate a rana on the floor from the bull! Giant clusterfuck of a diving double something or other hit Billy.

WCW Slamboree 1993

The WWE Network preview for it hypes up Arn-Windham and Vader-Davey as the main events. After watching Barry and Arn against Doom, I'm far more hyped about this match because I haven't seen it in ages. My old tape of it stopped working during their match, so I haven't seen that match in full or any of the main event in at least a decade. The baseball diamond-esque logo looks so awesome for this - and while they changed it later, they kept with the baseball theme for the '98 logo. VERNE GAGNE AND NICK BOCKWINKEL ARE SIDE BY SIDE. Shame about Verne's green suit though. No part of it looks good. A guy with a high-top fade and a Sports Authority shirt is behind Larry and Tony - holy '93. Maxx Payne is out for the opener. I wonder if this'll be the full show or the Turner Home Video version. Maxx Payne's guitar playing is pretty good - he does actually seem to be playing and the giant leather jacket looks awesome. This leads to a giant caravan of oily guys bringing out a throne-ish thing. Inside, IT'S MOOLAH. Well, I have no memory of this at all so I think this must've been cut from the home video as well. Odd seeing her in WCW given that she was such a WWF fixture.

Eric and his dark black hair dye are with Missy and her dark red lipstick. Missy's still looking hot here. Eric and Missy get blacked out as they talk about Sting facing THE PRISONER later, instead of Scott Norton. Zero fucks were given by the crowd. A kid with a giant dirty blonde mullet and a Batman shirt seemed happy. Missy is stumbling horribly over trying to put over Vader. Missy bounced around and offered her services as a Hollywood Babe. Eric talking about the NWA vs. AWA match with Dory vs. Bockwinkel was fun - the only time he's ever seemed remotely genuine is talking about the AWA on that WWE DVD. He clearly has a lot of respect for Verne. Eaton and Benoit are out, so they're actually using the master for the full event here and not just the home video. Bagwell and Scorpio are out. I love them hyping up Bagwell as WCW Magazine's rookie of the year since they always did it and made it a point for him for a long time.



Benoit's zebra print tights are not the prettiest things ever. Benoit and Scorpio are starting out. Benoit in '93 compared to Benoit in '95 looks so different - he gained a ton of weight and looks much older facially just two years later. These two have fantastic chemistry, and I should really watch their SuperBrawl III match since I've only seen it clipped via New Blood on the Block. Scorp with an iffy flip dive over Bobby to get to Benoit - seemed like Bobby was blocking him a bit there. Double dropkicks from the faces send the heels out. Bobby's gear can best be described as a bright yellow birthday party hat. It's yellow with blue and red...things all over it. Bagwell with a backdrop to Benoit OVER THE TOP. Not a DQ. Larry says it could be due to him possibly just trying to get away and the backdrop being accidental. I like Larry putting over the young guys asking the legends for advice - it makes the plucky faces seem like they want to get better. It's an admirable trait and faces should have one. They talked about Greg Gagne and Brunzell being backstage, as are Snuka and Blackjack Mulligan. Benoit's nasty snap lariat hits Bagwell perfectly. Flying legdrop off the second rope from Benoit gets 2. Odd to have that be a transitional move when his partner's finisher is a flying legdrop off the top. Tony puts Eaton over as a WCW legend for being in the Midnight Express and being in a team with Arn as well. Snapmare into a figure four headscissors by Benoit. Everything is just so crisp. Heels cheat by holding hands! How dare the ref oppose them exchanging protein strands. Larry's talking about this event becoming a collector's item. Well, a version of it with all the matches might've been. Bagwell gets the knees up for the diving headbutt. Scorp bonks Eaton on the buckle on the outside, then kicks him in the cut while he's up on the ropes - nice spot there. Twisted splash gets 1. Tumbleweed legdrop hits Benoit and the faces win. He just smushed his face with his ass on that one. 

Tony talked about Col. Robert Parker debuting, and Van Hammer turning him down. Larry said that Van Hammer was RUDE for grabbing Parker and Tony agreed. VAN HAMMER'S THEME MAKES THE CUT! It is pretty awesome. His generic singlet, however, is not. He went from looking like a star in '92 with the leather getup to looking like a scrub here. You've got a guy who's all body and hide the body. Like with Ryback, it makes very little sense. Parker's off fresh from the KFC box. Parker's bringing out Van Hammer's new ride - a stretcher! Sid's back acting like a face. Maybe Hammer got his singlet from Sid. Hammer threw some bad punches before Sid hit him with one of his super-high kicks. Powerbomb. Hammer's RIP. This was beneath the Kronus squash, but perfectly fine for what it needed to be. Sid should've come in and killed someone. Of course, this does just make the face look like an idiot, but if you're going to make a face look weak, it might as well be Hammer.

Eric's with Red Bastein and Bugsy McGraw. Red's stache is amazing. Bugsy looks like a more dignified version of modern day Bill Watts. Bugsy's cutting a fine promo here putting himself, his look, and Sid over! He's also burying Eric for wearing too much makeup! Bugsy McGraw rules! The first legends match is up. It's a 6-man tag with Murdoch, Snuka, and Muraco as a team! They're up against Wahoo, Mulligan, and Jim Brunzell...it really should've been Greg Gagne as his partner in this. Snuka and Brunzell start this so it isn't glacial. Wow - Brunzell and Gagne were tag champs in '75 - about 18 years before this event. Shame that Killer Bees run turned him into a joke. Murdoch's busting out the elbows to the forehead on the apron. Mulligan hits a hiptoss! Murdoch's busy punched and/or elbowing the hell out of him. "If Wahoo wrote a book, you'd have to label it science fiction.". Apparently, you could say the same about Larry's book. Muraco was apparently an underwater photographer and they hyped up Lord James Blears getting him started. I love that they're giving the AWA so much love. The company's dead, so you might as well get whatever money you can out of making it seem like a big deal. Mulligan coming in with his big Frankenstein arms out pose to do a double choke is hilarious. Dropkick from Brunzell. That tie-dyed gear is simple terrible. The yellow and white gear would've been better. FLYING HEADSCISSORS from Murdoch! I remember that spot well. Still impressive. Snuka working heel in the corner seems weird. Thump-style powerslam from Muraco AND A LEGDROP! I'm shocked he left his feet. Muraco accidentally hits Snuka on the apron! Swinging neckbreaker by Murdoch to Brunzell gets 2. Murdoch slips going up for the Calf Branding, so he just goes up and does it again. Snuka distracted the ref and led to the flying bodypress from Brunzell only getting 2. Snuka's in and they're talking about him mainly being a face and also teaming with Stevens at one point. Snuka hits a running back elbow to Muraco accidentally. Now they're brawling and they do a double schoolboy spot. Now it's just a brawl. Wahoo's chopping the hell out of Snuka and it's a no contest. Wahoo's mid-ring chop sends Snuka kneeling down, THEN FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE. Hilarious.

Missy's with the Assassin and Mad Dog Vachon. Mad Dog's voice is so gravely and awesome. Love him telling her HE'S NOT DONE-A TALKING! Jody's mask is way too ill-fitting for his face. He's got a giant double chin and the mask barely fits one of them. And now he's challenging Dusty. Oh thank God that never happened. Ivan Koloff and Baron Von Raschke are out as a team to face Thunderbolt Patterson and Bullet Bob. Bullet Bob was supposed to be his partner. Larry told a story about Mad Dog pulling a guy's eye out and stomping on it while Thunderbolt said he'd kick BOTH OF THEIR ASSES! Bob's out with a knee injury, leading to Brad coming out in street clothes. Thunderbolt's throwing some fine punches here. Nice and wacky. Bolt's in a shirt, which is best for all. Ivan's moving pretty well in there. Baron's selling is hilarious. It's hard to believe he's only 50 here - he always looked 50 no matter what. Bolt took the shirt off and Larry put over Bolt's wacky antics as beneficial for him since it makes it hard to lock up with him. Baron has absolutely no chest definition whatsoever. Love his wacky selling of being angry over a headlock failing. Larry's talking about Ivan dethroning Bruno in the Garden. Tony refers to the WWF Title as "that belt". Tony then talked about Baron being the first World TV Champion of the NWA due to all of the NWA promoters putting their TV champs in a tourney. Giant wacky punches from Bolt leads to Larry comparing him to Shemp. Big double throat thrust to Baron gets the win for Bolt. This was fun.

Tony hypes up THE ORIGINAL FOUR HORSEMEN reuniting tonight. The Flair For the Gold logo is pretty awesome. Flair's got a fairly gaudy bowtie and cummerbund combo. Fifi was quite the looker. Larry's saying HI JOHN for some reason. Flair's putting over Arn being NWA Champion tonight. Arn puts over his shot, HIS ONE SHOT and he'll make it good tonight. Flair said Blanchard wouldn't show up tonight, but the show's only getting better! Flair's putting over Ole nicely. They're blaming Barry for Tully not being there saying he got in his ear - that's about as perfect a way to bring that up and tie it into the night's event as you're gonna get. Flair's putting over THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE HORSEMEN, using his jet-flying bit for him. PRETTY PAUL ROMA...more like Polite Applause Paul Roma. Roma's mullet is something else.

Tony and Larry are being joined by Johnny Valentine, who can barely be heard. It's time for Bockwinkel vs. Dory after a Beach Blast hype vid. I'll always remember that show because it was on my 10th birthday. I should really watch it. Dory's out with Gene Kiniski. DORY JR HAD A BEARD AT ONE POINT. Makes him look like an older version of Terry. They're hyping up Nick with limited AWA footage, and Nick's got Verne by his side. Now that just seems wrong. Visually, Nick looks about the same as he did in the clips aside from wearing the long black tights under the maroon gear. Uppercut forearms from Dory. Lots of basic holds here. Dory's got him  in a neck crank, resulting in Verne getting on the apron to cause a distraction. Gene just about comes in the ring for...whatever reason. Nick tries to fight out of the cravate but get hit with a snapmare instead. Nice long headscissors here from Bockwinkel. The crowd is not reacting to this at all. It's a slow-paced match, but everything in it is being made to seem important. Tony's talking about Johnny Valentine bringing a fish bowl full of silver dollars to TV and offering them up to anyone who could pin him - no one ever could. Back elbow by Dory lead to the uppercuts again. A boring chant's breaking out now. Nice forearms from Bockwinkel. Larry talked about asking Nick what time it was and being told how to make a watch. Gene pulled Bock out. Bock's going for a slow build to a Boston Crab, but Dory spins out of it. Back suplex gets 1 from Dory. Armbar from Dory and then a surfboard. They've got five minutes left in the time limit. Nick manages to reverse the surfboard and butterflies the arms. This is being paced nicely because it's the longest legends match by far and they don't have the crutch of it being a tag - they've got to carry the load and make sure they can go as long as possible and look good. Snapmare gets 2 for Bockwinkel. Sleeper with about three minutes left. Headlock by Bock leads to Dory teasing a knee breaker, but Bock avoids that by cranking on the headlock. Uppercut sends Bock to the ramp. Outside-in suplex from Dory after Gene grabbed Nick's leg.  Piledriver from Dory doesn't get a count due to a rope break. Butterfly suplex from Dory leads to a Bock backslide for 2. Single leg takedown leads to the spinning toehold, then a cradle from Bock for 2. Figure four from Bock and Gene runs in...no DQ there. Dory's in the ropes. Forearm exchanges. Cradle into the ropes. Dammit, Gene hurts yet another match without actually being a main guy in it. They went 15 minutes and didn't look bad, but a draw for the lone legends singles match sucked. For goodness sake, you've got an NWA Title match on here, have the NWA guy win it.

Eric's with Lou Thesz, who cuts a fine promo. He always seemed so dignified. Bob Giegel's there too. Rude and Orndorff are out to face Dustin and Sasake. Sadly, no "Simply Ravishing" theme here. Matching robes for Rude and Orndorff. Rude wearing the belt over the robe rules - but Paul just holding it in front of the robe looks a bit less ridiculous. Rude's still got the small U.S. belt. Dustin's replacement theme is terrible, and a kid doing the Rude hip swivel with his shirt over his head is disturbing. Sasaki and Orndorff have pretty good chemistry. Rude-Dustin time! Dustin's in his early 20s but looks at least 30 facially. Definitely the curse of looking like his dad. To be fair though, Rude looks much older than him. Both guys run into one another's knee in the corner. Paul SLAMMING DUSTIN'S FACE IN THE GUARDRAIL would be a DQ. My how times have changed. Dustin's got little bolos on the side of his tights - looks ridiculous. A Rude piledriver is countered and leads to Rude going for a tombstone, and then Dustin countered it into one for 2. Sasaki is larating the hell out of Rude. Sasaki presses Rude up and just chucks him down. Orndorff shoves him off the top, then Rude hits the Rude Awakening and holds him down desperately to win. The cover looks wonky, but I liked it - he appeared to be struggling to hold him down, which makes sense since so little was done to hurt him outside of the neckbreaker. Hall of fame is up.

Tony's putting Gordon over for helping him out with his career, and he'll be doing the inductions. Gordon's getting a solid crowd reaction and is asking for it to stop so he may resume - how quaint. His listing of legends who have passed on was classy and they even had a moment of silence for them. The first inductee is Lou Thesz - there's no better person for it. Gordon put over the HOF being in the CNN complex, which I would assume would have just had replica plaques up. Gordon talking about Thesz wrestling just two years before this is kind of crazy to think about. Verne's next up and he's about as perfect a second choice as you'll get. Gordon says he was AWA World Champion 14 times, while Verne says it was 9. Verne has thankfully changed into a nice suit and not one that appears ripped from an old car. Mr. Wrestling II is up and they're showing a photo with him and Jimmy Carter. He declined the inauguration in order to avoid having to be seen without his mask. Eddie Graham's going in and will be inducted by his son. Boy is this much sadder to watch given how everything turned out with him. Mike Graham has a puffy mullet and an earring. Yikes.

Missy is with John Tolos and Lord James Blears. WCW IS THE ONLY WAY TO SPELL WRESTLING. John's angling for another payday. Blears' suit is blinding. Sting-Prisoner is up next. Oh GOD! Kevin Kelly had something in the AWA, and man did he ever lose it at some point. He went from looking 20-something to looking at least 45. Prisoner's getting a giant Bossman chant. Frankenstein choke by Nailz on the ropes. Choke in the corner. Single-armed choke in the corner... BOOT CHOKE IN THE CORNER! GROUNDED CHOKE ON THE ROPE. For. Fuck's. Sake. DO SOMETHING ELSE. AN IRISH WHIP AND A BACK ELBOW! And then a choke. Okay. This is ridiculous. He finally throws some punches to...some part of Sting's face. Could've cracked an egg with one of them. Backbreaker and a 2! Kicks and back hand shots from Sting. Eye rake from Nailz. Cable choke from Nailz. His offense should in theory look credible if it's going to be so...lean in variety. Nope. It looks like shit. He's trying to hang him with the cable...well that's just a bad idea. It's impossible to think that Sting's the de facto top face and is in this nothing match. This would be a waste of a match on Worldwide, let alone a PPV. Sting hits a terrible clothesline for 2. Backdrop from Sting opens him up for a Stinger splash and...Nailz won't go down for a scorpion deathlock so he just covers for 2. Throat thrust from Naiz. MORE CHOKING. Nailz starts choking the ref, then gets hit with a flying clothesline off the top and pinned. Thank the lord above, this is over. The crowd pops and it has to just be due to it being over. Cage is going up for the tag title match.

It's DA CRUSHER and Ox Baker. Crusher calls Ox a bum, and well, his suit doesn't exactly refute that claim. I love Ox taking such visible offense to that claim. Crusher's rambling about his grandkids. Ox's giant eyebrows rule. I-AAA LOVE TA HURT PEOPLE! "Ya know Crusher, yer better lookin than me - JUST NOTICED THAT!" Ox Baker is amazing. Steamboat and "Shane Douglas" are out as the Dos Hombres in the most jobberiffic gear possible. YAY THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDS THEME IS INTACT! Brian's hair is far too dark for this moniker. Some agents right out of Saved by the Bell are watching the Blondes. Steamboat chops start things off. Armbar. Tony is having so much fun with Larry out there. It's so sad that the shitty product killed his love for wrestling, because he's great here. Larry talks about having the same laces in his boots since he debuted - they're parachute cords and don't wear down. MASSIVE toss into the cage to Austin. Goddamn the smack of that. ATOMIC DROP INTO THE CAGE. Now that's a spot that needs to come back. Crazy flip bump into the cage from Austin. Larry says he retired Bruno in Shea...yeah nah. Really iffy gut shot from Zenk to Pillman. Had to be Zenk since it didn't look good and Steamboat would make sure it was solid. PRESS SLAM FROM STEAMBOAT TO PILLMAN INTO THE CAGE! Big E should be doing that at some point. Nice left arm clothesline from Steamboat. Suplex into a tree of woe on the cage. STINGER SPLASH AGAINST THE CAGE! SWEET CHRIST DID THAT NOT GO WELL. The second splash was a crossbody and Steamboat landed right on Steve's head on the way down. Nice snap on the chops and back elbow from Austin. Elbow off the second rope from Austin gets 2. Nice bit with Austin holding onto the gear to pin whoever is in there with them in their corner. Pillman uses the towel to choke the guy out, then dab his head. Just perfect. Big splash off the second rope from Pillman is met with a big boot. Big rights by Zenk. Spinebuster from Austin leads to Larry saying he'll be in the hall of fame one day. Pillman splash gets knees to the gut. Steamboat comes in and hits the double chops. Moon spot by Austin leads to an electric chair drop. Pillman gets crotched on the ropes. Ouch. Double noggin knocker. "Double coconut time" from Tony led to "yeah, that's about the size of 'em after that..." which works for either of the last spots. Alternating team cage tosses. Steamboat goes up top and takes the mask off for a crossbody block. The cage was moving way too much for my liking there. False 3 count there. Double dropkicks from the faces get a 2. Stun Gun to Zenk gets the win. Easily the best match on the show so far. Love Larry on the replay saying the crossbody was a PERFECT IMITATION OF CAPTAIN PLANET.

Eric's with Stu Hart, Mr. Wrestling II, and Dusty. Dusty's answering the Assassin's challenge. HIS BIG ASS IS STANDING OUT HERE, SO COME AND GET IT BAYBEE! Mr. Wrestling II paid very little attention to the promo, and just said that whoever Dusty's after, he'll get. Stu's talking about his sons being wrestlers and his daughters all being married to wrestlers...it's amazing he lived as long as he did. He's here to support his son in law Davey for the world title tonight. Davey really felt like he should've won the title during this run since it was his first true main event run and he had some momentum. Arn's out in the thinnest Horsemen jacket in history. Barry and his gut are out with the big gold. Barry's no longer a Horseman, he's The Lone Wolf - that is an awesome moniker. Side belly to belly from Arn - I never remember him busting that out before. Nice shot from Barry to Arn. Chop from Arn leads to an iffy-looking snap DDT for 2. Love Barry yanking Arn out to the ramp to attack him. Barry's already breathing heavy and it's not even five minutes in. Double axehandle off the second rope from Arn led to him eating a nice clothesline. A guy is yelling at Arn to smack his face. Toss over the top and once again, it's not a DQ. Now it's due to him being on the apron. Just nix the rule if you're not going to enforce it. Head to the railing isn't a DQ because it's under NWA rules. Barry's busted open so his head matches his gear. Small package from Arn gets 2. Arn was not good at that move - it looks way too loose here and it had the same issue at Slamboree '95 against Alex Wright. Sleeper from Arn. Tons of blood on Barry. This match is perfectly fine, but not as good as it could've been. Arn is just not "on" here. DROPKICK FROM BARRY to Arn on the top. Nice spot there. Barry's '93 run was really iffy. He was fantastic in the '80s and early '90s, and then amazing again in '99, but the periods between that were underwhelming. Barry's head is just coated in blood. Flying lariat off the top from Barry was smooth and Arn bumped like a champ for it. Arn kicks out at 2. Nice grounded uppercut from Arn. Arn couldn't get the gorbuster, but Barry got the floatover suplex. No one ever done that as smoothly as Barry did. SPINEBUSTER FROM ARN but he can't cover - Barry rolls to the floor. They're talking about a possible blood stoppage again - I do love them referencing history to get you to think things could end one way. Barry tries to leave with the belt but Arn tosses him back. Arn threw the ref down and then got bonked with the belt and beat. Well, the finish played into the bit with Barry before and Arn costing himself the title, but man did that not get the revamped Horsemen off to a good start.

They're talking about Davey getting involved in Vader's public training session and now it's world title time. They never did call the NWA Title a world title. Davey's in his Union Jack BRITISH BULLDOG gear, so I guess this is before they got legal letters. Davey is jacked to the gills here. Vader's theme rules. VHOP - Vader's House of Pain - NOW SERVING PUNISHMENT wins for the best sign. Davey has tons and tons of fringe on every part of his gear. Between that and the corn rows though, it actually kind of works as a look for him. Davey no-sells a shortarm clothesline, which works visually because damn is he ever thick. Bodyshot and the bodyblock ALSO GET NO-SOLD. Wow. During the collar and elbow tie-up, Davey looks nearly as big as Vader here.  Vader's wider, but thickness is about even. Vader is resorting to just beating the fuck out of Davey's body, head, and neck. Nice choke from Vader. It's got some intensity, unlike everything from Nailz. Bodyblock on the guardrail misses and Vader flips over into the crowd. Walking slam from Davey to Vader. DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX TO VADER gets a huge pop. They are hyped up for Davey tonight. Bodycheck off the top is met with a powerslam! Clothesline over the top. They are rabid for Davey. Larry's talking about being super-huge making you less limber, quick, and making it harder to have stamina...yup that's definitely all hurting Davey. A whoop there it is chant breaks out. Davey goes for a crucifix, but Vader drops into a Samoan drop. Giant leaping elbow to the thigh area. Yet another one. Vader's making everything he does count. Big Vader bomb gets 2. Vader's grabbing the hair to hit some nice hooks. Vader's going up for a splash now. Nope, Davey gets up and then Vader hits the body block. Davey's nose is busted up, and now Vader's smacking him around. Vader's superplex gets countered into a super gordbuster and then takes himself out by headbutting Vader. Davey covers and only gets 2 because he didn't hook the legs. There's another little touch they need to talk more about. Sunset flip>ass splash miss spot gets 2 for Davey. Nice right cross from Vader takes Davey down in one shot. Giant splash from Vader hits oddly, leading to him just yelling SHIT! and holding his chest. Vader hits a stiff kick from a downed position to Davey. He tosses Davey out so Harley can do some damage. Big clubs from Vader take Davey down in the corner. Ass splash from Vader hits with ease. Camel clutch from Vader leads to an electric chair drop that has Harley frozen with shock. Davey's attacking with punches and clotheslines and FINALLY gets him down. Vader went for a crossbody in the corner and Davey caught him for the powerslam and got 2 thanks to Harley getting involved. Vader grabs Larry's chair and hits Davey for a DQ. Wow. A DQ for the main event world title match finish. Bagwell gets demolished by Vader. As does Scorp. Sting comes down to make a save and hits the clothesline off the top. Davey gets the win but not the belt. Logically, this should've set up Davey getting a shot with a DQ for Vader giving Davey the title.

Eric's with Magnum TA. Magnum looks basically the same here facially as he did in his wrestling days. Verne's hyping up how WCW has THE REAL WRESTLING TALENT. Yet another guy angling for a regular paycheck here - can't blame him. Larry and Verne sending the show off was something else. It was strange to see the AWA get so much love on a WCW show, but good to see. It also made perfect sense with Greg being in the company along with Eric, but the show as a whole wasn't very good. The cage match and WCW Title matches were great, but the NWA Title match underperformed and the rest of the card was nothing special. The hall of fame inductions were too low key and didn't feel very important. It was an interesting time capsule show because they just got Flair back, but he couldn't work and they were trying to bridge the past with the present and future by having the Horsemen reunite and that just didn't work out. Had Roma been say an IC-level guy in the WWF, he could've come in and worked as Tully's replacement. But as a guy in a C-level WWF tag team...yeah he was just doomed to fail.

WWE Raw 3-3-14

I might as well write about the post-show this week as well, since it should at least be a noteworthy thing through WM. Raw's got Batista-Bryan set up presumably from the Batista turn on SD where he mocked the fans chanting for a 190 pound weakling instead of him. It would be nice to reference that tonight and then build up the match for next week, but whatever - WWE doesn't really do much advance planning for TV matches and at least they hyped up Shield-Wyatts on SD. Duggan's gotta give a big HOOOO! Usos-Outlaws battle for the tag titles tonight. Should be fun. Riley's talking about WM being the biggest payday of the year. CM Punk's chants already started. And then they immediately go to a video package! Brie and Bryan came in and talked about the Batista promo. Renee's dress is beautiful. Bryan's "gonna show Batista what a real man is!" Graphic should've been Boo-tista vs. The Yes Movement. Alex Riley as Batista's stooge could be really fun. Love him saying BATISTA'S BEEN REAL SINCE DAY ONE. They had a graphic for most surprising recent "attitude change". How was Orton's turn in August a recent attitude change?

Shield-Wyatts has A WRESTLEMANIA-TYPE FEEL! This is a glorious video package recapping their whole deal. Los Matadores are out for a Superstars match. Duggan hyped up "the Bryan family". Cena-Wyatts recap from Raw. "I had a chance to read the injury report, and it's still undecided!" Not because of poor planning, nope - he didn't want an MRI. Matadores vs. Rybaxel. CM PUNK BROUGHT UP! NXT Arrival hype video. They should've put this on SD. HHH, lead heel, is a proud dad of the NXT crew. They hyped up the next Countdown show on entrances - totally forgot about Kane's welding mask. Great promo from Road Dogg, with Billy being his parrot. Love Billy giving Road Dogg a finger wag for being old. Then they yelled STILL CHAMPS at Renee. THIS RULED! Matadores won and did a Superstars promo and got bood. MASSIVE CM Punk chant. King and Torito are alike - TORITO IS HORNY! Matadores are being a bit heelish here. BOOM! Riley's a 2 on the Konnan scale. Heyman and Renee are amazing together. "Renee...what have you heard and why are you here..." There's a Legends House promo on the tron that is just terrible. Raw is now! CM Punk chant is drowning out Cole's voiceover.

PUNK'S THEME HITS! A massive CM Punk chant hits. And it's Heyman! Well, Heyman coming out makes little sense since they blew their feud off months ago, but whatever. Heyman's putting the mic out to the crowd - " I BELIEVE HE DESERVES LOUDER THAN THAT!". So is Heyman a face now or what? He's out to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy who was never wanted in WWE. A Heyman guy that THEY thought was too small to main event WrestleMania. Heyman doing this in Indian style rules. He's talking about tattoos, and them not wanting in WWE from day one or right now. This is either Punk, or Brock, which makes no sense with the small hype, but works with the tattoos. Jessamyn Duke and Sami Zayn are loving this on Twitter. "Why won't anyone talk about CM Punk anymore?". "There is a finger to point around here. There's someone to blame for why CM Punk wouldn't put up with it anymore. THERE'S A TIME WHEN YOU HAVE TO RISK YOUR JOB SECURITY AND POINT THE BLAME FOR THE FACT THAT CM PUNK ISN'T HERE TONIGHT. I POINT THAT FINGER AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!" Heyman is amazing. This is all THE UNDERTAKER'S FAULT, and since CM Punk couldn't do it, BROCK LESNAR, THE MAN WHO BEAT CM PUNK, CAN! Brock beating Punk at Summerslam didn't make a ton of sense at Summerslam, but now makes perfect sense. Brock's got his right hand all taped up. Recap of the Brock-Taker deal from last week.

Brock grabbed the mic and said that the Dead Man is afraid of him. EVERYONE HAS FAILED to end the streak. Shawn, HHH, and "your own baby boy" CM Punk are FAILURES! Sarcastic Brock rules. AT WRESTLEMANIA, THE STREAK IS GONNA GET CONQUERED BY BAAARRROOOCK LESNAARRRR! JBL referencing Lesnar-Couture...wow. YAY IT'S HENRY! And he's getting destroyed by Brock! F5 through the table never stops being awesome! It's so good to see WWE book Lesnar as a world-conquering badass. That WM 30 jersey is pretty awesome. Road Dogg FINALLY acting like a heel rules. Time for the Usos to win them some non-gold. Fun match - these teams have great chemistry. Super-smooth punches and chops from Jimmy to Billy. Double Assalanche is setup, but only one hits before the Whispher in the Wind hits. Fameasser countered into a blind tag dive, then THE SUPERFLY DIVE! THE USOS WIN AND THE CROWD GOES CRAZY! Usos win while a Terra Ryzing sign is in the background. And a fan held up a Colt Cabana fathead.

The divas are talking about the guest star...The fucking. State of. This ac-ting. Here. Big E's out for another match with Cesaro for whatever reason. Cesaro STARTS this by just throwing Big E around, not exactly with ease, but fucking hell this dude is strong. Swing, and then Swagger comes in for a DQ. Goddamn that was short but a ton of fun. Big Ending out of nowhere. Big E was a dick there...why? HOLY SHIELD! Shield-Wyatts is up next. This is the best first hour of Raw in ages. ROLLINS IS RUNNING WILD TO START! HE EVEN COUNTERS HARPER'S DIVE WITH A SIN CARA KICK FROM THE FLOOR! I demand a best of five million series from now until the end of time. It's a damn shame they won't do this as a 3-on-3 War Games-style chamber. It's already great in 2K14, and it would be even better in real life. I love Dean just shoving Bray over Harper. Rollins-mania runs wild again with the flatliner into the buckle to Rowan! Dean gets in and just hits Thesz press with some wacky crazy punches! Then he hits the snap running dropkick to Rowan's knee. FIGURE FOUR! VINTAGE MOXLEY! Bray and Ambrose did some Frye-Takayama for a second there. Neck twist from Rowan leads to the double noogie. JBL just repeating his Cody-Goldust commentary here saying Harper and Rowan are brothers. VINTAGE TERRY FUNK rople-caught swingset selling from Ambrose. AMBROSE GOES FOR A TAG BUT SETH LEFT! SETH ABANDONS THE SHIELD. Didn't see that coming. Ambrose and Reigns now have to fight together after weeks of drama! SUPERMAN PUNCHES FROM REIGNS! Rope draping dropkick to Rowan! CRAZY SPEAR OVER THE TABLE FROM ROMAN! HARPER DIVES ONTO ROMAN! Sister Abigail hits Ambrose and the Wyatts win. This might've even better better than the PPV match. Renee met with BOOTISTA! Batista stole Punk's Gracie hoodie. The fans are reading too many comics, watching too many comics, and are in a fantasy world if they think Bryan's a superstar. I heart Bootista saying that while starring in a comic book movie.

They recapped the Usos winning the titles, since that's been the least-noteworthy thing on this massive show so far. Main Event Live has the Outlaws-Usos. YES! Emma and Santino face Summer and Fandango. They better show some damned clips from the NXT special here. Love Summer saying WHAT ARE YOU DOING during the skin the cat spot. JBL said that Santino and Emma would have the cutest 18 year old kid in third grade. JBL BURYING the dance. Cole is begging JBL to put it over as the GM of NXT. CM Punk and WE WANT ZIGGLER chants. A WE WANT ZIGGLER chant!? Holy time warp! Emma did a rolling elbow while doing the goofy dance...yeah that was no Misawa. King had no idea what to call the Tarantula. Emma Lock gets the win. She's doomed. She's winning, but this act just isn't over, and has no chance of getting over with both JBL and King burying everything about it. SD GETS A RECAP for Sheamus-Alberto. Sheamus-Christian gets back on the treadmill tonight!

A corny Steph WWE Network promo aired about being so proud of being a wrestling fan. They had a commentary discussion with Vince. JBL said that JR's commentary was horse shit, and then did a terrible BY GAWD impression. I figured this was just Vince in JBL's ear when he said Vince was the best commentator ever, but this was a bit much - good for JR to get a free plug for the Ross Report though. JBL buried Christian's physique. Sheamus and Christian are having a perfectly fine match, but it's hard to care with the crowd's poorly-muted CM Punk chant getting through. They ran around the announce table like goofs while a CM PUNK chant drowned everything out.

They came back and Christian tossed Sheamus over the barricade, which looked ridiculous. Then JBL said it's a good thing Sheamus is so pale - he won't get skin cancer...um no. There was "no gimmicks needed" Chris Candido, and now there's "no fucks given" Christian. They're trying but, this match is as thrilling as drinking a lukewarm glass of water. They did some moves and Christian worked himself into the clubbering position before avoiding it. OUTSIDE-IN CLUBBERING worked. MORE BURIAL OF Christian's chest. It's a sunken chest...How do they bury Christian's chest but not Kofi's? A THIS IS AWFUL chant broke out. THIS IS AW-FUL! "Here comes the skinny frog!" Sheamus barely kicked out of the skinny frog splash, so he must suck too then. White Noise got 2. "BORING" chant broke out. Brogue kick on the apron mercifully ended this. God I hope Cena vows to never give up or surrender tonight! Scooby ad. They somehow failed to make Vince McMahon look like a cartoon character. HOW DO YOU DO THAT!?

Sheamus talked with Renee, and got booed IMMEDIATELY! And then Sheamus got jumped by Christian. Bellas are facing Aksana and Alicia. Brie Mode knee leads to nothing. Cole called everyone in this FOUR TREMENDOUS ATHLETES! Brie trying to make a tag...by not moving forward at all, and while on her knees. Some effort. Nikki's vibing up! Shock Treatment wins for Nikki. Cole awkwardly read copy about Batista-Bryan. Sirens gets plugged, which gives me time to get a drink. THE STATE of the sweater on the black guy on Sirens in the crowd. Cole begged everyone to tweet #yesmovement. THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT #YESMOVEMENT - subtle. Bryan came down to cut a promo. "WE ARE GOING TO HIJACK RAW!" LOLed hard. Bryan's not going to leave until one of two things happens, leading to a giant CM Punk chant and him grinning. HHH's and Steph's rack came down. Steph entered the ring in Bryan's colors while a huge CM Punk chant broke out. Thank God it's nearly impossible to hear Steph over this crowd. Bryan talked about being beaten down and screwed over, BUT HE'S STILL HERE, UNBROKEN WITH THE FANS BEHIND HIM! HHH called this the Excuses or Blame era - which just rolls off the tongue. "THEY BURIED ME!" - HHH rules. HHH is having to yell in order to talk over these CM Punk chants. So to keep track, HHH is a heel in this segment. Steph might be too. Loved the crowd chanting asshole and HHH saying that they're saying it's Bryan's turn. I love that this feud revolves around the title and yet it's not for it. DIGITAL AND SOCIAL MEDIA BLOWS UP with Daniel Bryan.

Steph put over how her family did everything to make Bryan look good. 21 trucks rolled into the building FOR HIM! Bryan said that she should put on HHH's trunks and he should wear her skirt - I approve of Bryan's idea becoming a wacky photoshop. HHH then said that Steph would kick Bryan's ass. HHH then talked to Bryan like he was a child, and said it's a showcase of the immortals! And Bryan just does not measure up. HHH demanded that Bryan leave his ring. I'm just glad HHH is a solid B+ heel throughout this, as opposed to being both a heel and face in one segment. Steph called out Mr. Kane, who got demolished by Bryan. She demanded security come down, but they didn't. Security finally came down and she yelled at him to STAY OUT. Steph's going to sound 90 in 5 years with all this screaming. Cole said he'll be IN WHAT HE CALLS THE PEOPLE'S RING. He never once called it that. Bryan-Batista is still on, BTW. GET OUT OF MY BUILDING. Until the main event match. In 30 minutes.


A REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING SUITS AD aired trying to get over #litup. Recap of the Brock-Heyman stuff from earlier. AND IF YOU HAVE THE WWE NETWORK, YOU COULD WATCH BROCK LESNAR DESTROYING DUDES ALL THE TIME! Alberto got a jobber intro. Something revved up. It was Aaron Paul with Dolph - Dolph might actually get a win here. NO CGI, JUST LIKE WWE. So WWE is just as real as Need For Speed! Paul's on commentary. JBL put over NEED FOR SPEED AS THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME OF ALL TIME! They further put over there being no CGI for the movie. It's so weird for them to bury the Fast series while putting them over huge when Rock's around. Aaron Paul got on the table and they warned him about Alberto. Zig Zag - Dolph won! New HOFer gets announced next!

They hyped up that the HOF ceremony will air live on the Network...in theory. IT'S PAUL BEARER, although they teased it like it was Taker. Loving the wacky smoky graphics for the talking heads. "DEATH, OH WHAT A WORD!" probably didn't need to be in this. Oh thank the lord, we get Big E pulling double duty now against Swagger. Big E got hit with the Neutralizer out of nowhere. Swagger slapped Cesaro... YAY SWING TIME! YAY ZEB PROMO TIME! Zeb begged him to not swing Swagger. FOR THE SAKE OF THE PEOPLE, don't swing him! I'm so glad to see Zeb get a year-long run in WWE. He deserved some good after losing his grand-daughter and this is a reminder that good can happen after turmoil. Zeb demanded that they hug it out! Cesaro gave him a big wacky slappy hug.

According to Nikki's twitter, her finisher is the Nikki Rack Attack. Well, there is no better name for that move for her. Main Event gets Bryan-Kane as well. Good to see them going all-out with that show again. Cena came out with a knee wrap, so they've nixed the groin pull part of the storyline. A guy dressed as a clown in a Punk shirt gave Cena's handsign. CM Punk chant got going before Cena could utter a word. It's 10:45, so this shouldn't be taking up too much time. Normally, the main event would get going around now. Cena said that HE WILL NOT HAVE A MATCH. Shocking, given that he wasn't announced for one and the show's nearly over. He's mixing it up with grey shorts now. A CM Punk chant hit and he said he came out to hear THAT - the passion of a city. He hyped up Brock beating him up in this arena, and at MITB, he lost to Punk here. THE WWE UNIVERSE WANTS CHANGE and he respects it! BUT YOU GOTTA RESPECT THAT CHANGE WILL COME AND GO THROUGH HIM! He tied that into the Wyatt feud, which is good because with the prior stuff, it sounded like he was hyping up a Punk match. "I'm at the same place now when I began my career in 2002!" - only with a lot more money, merch, and a giant house with an elevator. Bray cut an awesome promo about feeling the energy and Cena being a thoroughbred horse. He races and wins! AND THE PEOPLE JUST CHEER FOR HIM. But one day, this championship horse slows down and that is when reality sets in! AND NOW HE FINDS HIMSELF LOOKING FOR THE FINISH LINE, and is in the back of a barn laid out on a slab. Mercy is calling you by name! Bray is the reaper and he's going to put Cena down. This rules. Bray called Cena the loneliest man on Earth because he sits on top of his lonely castle, and there will be nothing left when Bray takes it all away. Bray Wyatt rules!

Lona came out to put over Rusev in a re-enactment of the SD bit with the Olympic podium. Bryan-Batista is the Itchy and Scratchy fireworks factory. AND A RECAP OF HOGAN! Hogan's got a WM XXX announcement next week. AND NOW ORTON'S OUT! Batista's FINALLY out at 11 PM and didn't blow up doing his intro. LOL @ the put some pants on sign. Cole talked about Bryan being a "superharo", so I guess he's a bunny now. There are also SKINNY JEANS and BORE-TISTA signs. Batista's gear looks so ridiculous. He's got giant grey and black knee braces, black, blue and orange trunks with matching shoes and Flair-esque kneepads around his ankles. Dropkick to the knee from Bryan leads to Batista getting a YOU CAN'T WRESTLE sign. 11:05 THE FINAL COMMERCIAL BREAK! Good lord. Great exchange from King and Cole after the break. "We're not over. NOT AT ALL!"  Missile dropkick>kip up takes down Batista. Batista's giant wacky leg tattoo was visible because of his left knee brace slipping down. The Authority came down, leading to a giant CM Punk chant! Batista threw Bryan into Orton, leading to Batista doing the yes bit! Orton attacks Bryan. RKO to Batista led to the Knee+, then Batista got dropkicked leading to Kane getting...knocked somewhere near HHH resulting in him falling down. Bryan got speared by Batista, and Bryan kicked HHH, and then ate a Batista bomb. HHH is up. IT'S SHOVELIN TIME! Pedigree! Steph did the yes bit and they stood over Bryan. Steph kicking Bryan's legs away from her is something else.

The post-show deal started with Bryan being helped up, and then Show came down to whoop some ass with Cena and Bryan. Steph did the Yes bit with Renee. Renee has HHH, who...just leaves. Axel says he'd be happy to do the light work for the Authority. YAY TITUS. SPELL HUNGRY! They're not showing anything on the tron, but there's a giant YES chant in the background. 

Screens -

http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/vc1nvgn1wkz6jznqqgz7n6o81wg7aik5

Raw 1-17-93

REPO MAN STOLE SAVAGE'S HAT! And his hair. He should've taken at least a few hundred of the colors off of Savage's getup. Terrific Terry Taylor is a terrible moniker. Nice match with Perfect though. Marty is in...one of his most early '90s outfits ever. HE'S FACING THRASHER! He's pale, pasty, and has neon trunks and a thinning hairline. It's impossible to think that he'd become Thrasher. Rocker Dropper gets the win. Recap of Doink THE ALLEGED Clown being mean to Crush. Repo Man said Macho's late on the payments for his hat. The Savage clown misses Repo. Darn. Vince yelling at Savage to get the hell out of MOVING TRAFFIC is something else. Vince puts Tito as one of the WWF's all-time greats who could win the Royal Rumble...well, part of one of those statements is arguably true. Tito-Flair should be solid. Bartlett has the gall to insult Flair's fashion. Flair goes up top and gets taken down. Flair flip leads to a bump off the apron, and a heck of one from Flair too. The super-smooth flying forearm hits, but he doesn't go for a cover. Instead, Tito goes for another one and goes over the top. Flair and Perfect are brawling. Sarge and Patterson are trying to separate them and failing. VINTAGE FLAIR PISSED OFF promo. He really didn't cut many of these in the WWF, so this is a great farewell for him.

WCW Wrestle War '90

OH MY GOD, WRESTLE WAR '90 HAS A RAP SONG OPENING IT. With a wacky '80s Casio keyboard riff! And Terry Funk has a giant earring! TERRY FUNK HAS AN EAR PIERCING. Mind=blown. Holy Jesus, Buzz Sawyer got owned by the road. He went from looking like Festus in '84 to Festus's daddy in half a decade. Ace's mullet is amazing. Buzz's selling is wacky. Not making use of the "great amateur skills" here. Sullivan and his neon green glasses-holder are chopping the hell out of Shane. Sullivan and Sawyer as a pair of middle-aged looking balding crazy guys rules. Shoulder to the ROO'S POST. Nowadays, it would be near the National Guard Prep Point. Sawyer is a ton of fun to watch here even if he's well...not a great guy, kind of a horrible person, and looks to have just showered after a year of homelessness. I do love that even in this state, every single thing he does is different. A suplex has a unique look to it, gutwrench has a big snap on it. Sawyer checks Shane's oil...while biting his ribs. Okay then.

The ground bearhug looks odd, and shows off the weird WCW logo here - it's the same basic logo, but with the lower part of the C hacked off a ton. It looks more like a C than an O, but looks odd to the eye. "The wrestlers have a ten count if they haven't been, um, molested by that point". Jim Ross has had many strange calls so far, and that's easily the weirdest one. Terry Funk, here in 1990, is talking about being glad he's retired. Sullivan took a dropkick to the side and went through the ropes about as fast as if he was walking through them. The ring apron is massive here - I wonder if they used a bigger ring than usual for this show. Sawyer's superfly dive won. Norman the Lunatic is backstage macking on Missy Hyatt. HOLY GOD MISSY HYATT WAS UNBELIEVABLY HOT. And Mick Foley gained a ton of weight between '90 and '92. More horrible ROH-level lighting for the stage here. Terry suggested that Norman put the propeller hat on JR. I'm shocked Vince didn't do that at some point. And...it glitches out again and sends me to the main menu. Oh well.

WCW Super Brawl I

Super Brawl I features the debut of Oz. I've seen this gimmick before, but never this exact skit...wow was it even worse. There's an extended skit, not backstage, BUT ON THE RAMP, with Dorothy, the Scarescrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion talking TO OZ. It's also got the debut of the Diamond Studd. Toothpick, curl...yeah WWF had no real claim on that for the lawsuit. Sid's out for a stretcher match with El Gigante...urge to fast forward rising...Eh, it's only two minutes. Terrible match, and of course the stretcher match ends by pinfall, or submission, or something based on the clawhold slam. The fans AND JIM ROSS are singing the goodbye song to Sid. YAY DOOM CAGE MATCH. I've only seen clips of this on Megaslams before. Digging Ron's RS lightning bolt gear - it's nice to see tome outfits on an early '90s show that don't reek of early '90s. Pretty fun match. Ron bleeds, which he almost never did, and won a solid match with a snap powerslam.

Hype vid for the Luger/Sting-Steiners tag title match. The music for this is beautiful and makes this seem like a big deal. Luger's got the revamped U.S. title design that Rude and Sting fought over that they later expanded in '93. The same basic design, but it looked a bit more important - there's less depth on the faceplate of the bigger one though. Scott Steiner's tights are entirely too tight - like Flanders's snowsuit. LOVE Rick bouncing off of Luger and doing a mid-air flip off of a simple shoulder block. This is a great match...until Luger hits a thing resembling a Russian Legsweep. The fucking Sandman's looked better. STING WINS A TOMBSTONE REVERSAL BATTLE! Nikita Koloff runs down and KOs Sting with the sickle. Steiners win and Luger's pissed. Now Sting and Nikita are brawling outside. Arn's out as TV champ. Wow, they were still using the silver and red belt in '91 - although I think Austin might've actually had this one and then transitioned into the newer one. ROCKET LAUNCHER FROM ARN TO BOBBY ON THE FUCKING RAMP OH MY FUCKING GOD YES! AA spinebuster gets 2! Arn sells a swinging neckbreaker perfectly. Alabama Jam hits despite Barry trying to get involved. THE CROWD GOES CRAZY! Fujinami's robe is amazing. CHOP TO THE BACK FROM FLAIR! The fucking state of Fujinami's chest here. Ref bump to Tiger Hattori leads to a schoolboy with the tights and a fast count from Fonzie. BULLSHIT.

WCW Slamboree '95

I really should watch Slamboree '95 - I never got to see it as a kid and loved the whole Legends Reunion/HOF deal. What the fuck, might as well do it now. Nastys-Heat starts off with a great Heat promo talking about delivering whoopings. WE'RE THE BOYS, WE'RE THE NASTY BOYS. Fun theme. Thank God, no Knobbs - this is actually a pretty fun little match. Knobbs as a hot tag-y works for me. Knobbs's catch of Sherri off the top was fine, THEN HE JUST THREW HER ONTO STEVIE OVER THE TOP ROPE. She had a rough landing against the railing and damn, this was vile. Nastys win with the powerslam>elbow. Punk's elbow MIGHT've been better than Sags'. EARL ROBERT OF EATON. I demand an on demand section of just wacky WCW skits with continuity. If Vince is really pissed at Mick, throw the Lost in Cleveland stuff in there. After years of TNA skits, they're honestly not all that bad after watching them on Worldwide via CoD. Sullivan's promo on the Butcher is pretty solid. Gene is much better though describing the Butcher  "Look at what you did to this man, HE'S NOW TOTALLY USELESS!" The Man With No Name is the Man With a Bad Theme and The Man With an Orange Tan. Sullivan's theme has sirens! More themes need sirens - Ryback's was so much better with a siren. Stuff. Sleeper is broken up with something generously resembling a jawjacker. Nice overhand slaps to the chest from No Name. Stinger splash misses, leading to the tree of woe knee strike to the belly welly and the double stomp for the win.

Hogan's cutting a promo about the MACHOMONSTERMANIACS BROTHER. Fuck Hogan. Poor Arn gets ANGELO POFFO as his foil for this whole deal. Angelo went from looking like a 50 year old in shape in Memphis to about 70 in '95. Now that's fair because he was, but damn did this make the heels seem weak. Nice little promo from Angelo though. The legends matches having a black and white filter absolutely sucks. This was never done in '93 and '94, and just makes everyone seem old. Wahoo hailing from "the University of Oklahoma" in the AWA was hilarious then, and even funnier many years later here. Heenan and Solie work shockingly well together, and you'd think that combo wouldn't work out well because they're so different, but it's great. Each one is still fantastic at their own style. Murdoch's body looks so much older here than in '93. Wahoo is aided by always looking 1,000. Hard to believe Murdoch was only alive for a year after this. Love the 3 Stooges selling of the chop from Murdoch. Murdoch doing a slow fall onto his ass to sell another one ruled. Murdoch was such a music between the notes kinda guy. He wasn't all about moves, but getting the most out of everything he did. So he may not make for a great video game character, but he's damned fun to watch. Murdoch's mouth is busted up. CALF BRANDING by Murdoch! Murdoch's elbows still look great. Wahoo wins with a chop. Wahoo did what he could here, while Murdoch ruled!

Passionate promo from Big Bubba Rogers - this suit look worked great for him. They should've just gone with this when he came over to WCW. MUTA'S OUTFIT IS AMAZING! And he's facing Orndorff...I sense a clash in styles. MUTA GETS A LIVE DRUM INTRO! Sadly no swank '89 theme for him here. And this is an IWGP Title match for God knows what reason. Muta's black and red paint looks great. Bischoff comes off really knowledgeable talking about Japan, jet lack, and the like. Holds. Holds. More holds. Thankfully, he finally hits the handspring elbow. Backbreaker moonsault combo gets the clean win. Muta just gets the generic WCW Japanese theme song, which is pretty solid, but nowhere near as cool as his '89 one. Great Arn-Wright video package. Boy was it a mistake to not give Wright the belt here. Arn just lost it a month later to the fucking Renegade, and Wright had no momentum for ages after this. Nice promo from Arn with Flair and Vader. Flair's in super-high pants and is apparently going to work in street clothes. I love Flair basically saying that Hogan and his buddies have ruined WCW by bringing WWF bullshit into it. Vader naming his biceps Itsy and Bitsy THE PYTHON EATERS is great. Terry Funk cuts a promo about not being sure if he's a legend...wow. Terry looks shockingly similar now to how he did here.

THE ALEX WRIGHT DANCE. Good lord, I thought that was just the coolest thing then. At least I was only 10 or so. Arn Anderson is THE MAN. He exudes tough working guy who will work hard and kick whatever ass needs to be kicked to accomplish a goal. I love the side headlock>rollup 2 count stuff. That's a really simple thing that should be brought back. Northern lights doesn't get a count because he gets up. Missile dropkick gets 2. Nice bodyshot by Arn in the corner. Great fakeout for the left hook leading to the snap DDT to a huge pop and a win. Arn's character was such that you may not like him, but you at least had to respect him. This network is so great for going on an Arn marathon. According to Heenan, THE FACE TEAM WAS FOUND BY SECURITY TRYING TO FLEE THE BUILDING VIA THEIR DRESSING ROOM WINDOW. Glorious.

Hawk-Meng is the SPECIAL SURPRISE BONUS MATCH! Hawk in his Hell Raisers gear is out. That gear ruled - easily the best overall look for the Road Warriors. THIS MATCH WOULD BE A MAIN EVENT IN ANY ARENA ON THE EARTH and it's here on WCW PPV as a bonus match. Yeah wow no way, Eric. "WCW and New Japan set the standard for pro wrestling" with the North Korea shows - well hell, might as well go big with that and put over what you can possibly take credit for. They clubber, they don't sell, and Hawk takes a helluva bump off a shoulder charge in the corner. Goes sailing right to the floor - it's a thing of beauty. YAY MORE CLUBBERING! Double countout. Whatever. Fun match.

Hall of fame time. Solie told a nice story about Wahoo getting seriously injured and put over him being an AWA and NWA tag champ. Wahoo's out in a nice shirt, tie, and blazer...and jeans. Pretty nothing speech from Wahoo though. Terry's next. Hard to believe he was already 51 here and is still working. Funk being in a bunch of Stallone movies is put over. HI MOM! Terry rules. He puts over his wife, daughters, and a 30 year career at that point. Damn, he's been working for nearly 50 fucking years. Solie somewhat sarcastically puts over Poffo for going into the HOF for doing situps. Lanny gets a mention, and he looks EXACTLY like his dad did in one of the historic photos. Terrible promo by Angelo about the main event. Solie's comparison of Inoki as being like a diamond - no matter what side you examine, his life reflects brilliance, was great. Ali-Inoki was put over as putting Ali in the hospital for 2 days. Collision in Korea clips are shown - including the card ceremony. Terrible echo for Solie here. Inoki is such a fascinating character, there's definitely no one else like him.

Solie breaks into tears talking about Big John Studd. His feud with Andre is put over, as is his focus on living in northern VA for 18 years. I was amazed to learn that when he died, he was only about half an hour away from me. Gordon's reading of a poem spoken at his service was fantastic. His son Robert is maybe 12-13 and is talking about his deceased father on global PPV and doing a damned fine job of it. Solie tells a story about Dusty digging ditches at 8 before being told then that there could be an American dream. Dusty's charisma is put over, as was the team with Dick Murdoch. A college course on the American dream was crafted due to Dusty. Dusty gets a MASSIVE POP with his arrival. CODY'S OUT THERE. He gives Cody the plaque and his daughter Teal the flowers. Puts over Dakota, Eddie Graham, his dad, and the fans. Dusty's scar tissue is honestly distracting even in '95. Dusty's surprise induction of Solie is amazing. Gene came out as a seeming fakeout. Gordon truly was amazing. He was a bit like Joe Friday in that he was so serious, but you took the man seriously when he said something. Gordon is in tears with this. Gordon's speech wasn't exactly smooth, but it was genuine and if there's one thing WCW did better than WWE does now is making the hall of fame seem genuine. It didn't have the pomp and circumstance, but dammit, it felt genuine and heartfelt.

Sting's an 11 out of 10 on the Roidy Magoo scale for this promo. LOLing at Gene saying IT'S TIME FOR TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION! Big Bubba's theme rules. Bubba brings out the world's oldest and shittiest-looking table to bonk Sting into. Bubba taps to the scorpion deathlock. "A Man Called Sting" isn't able to be used, so instead of using the vastly-superior "Turbo Charged", they go with generic shit. BOO! Main event time. WOO FLAIR! Flair's in purple, which helps him match Vader's purple trim. Fairly big pyro display for Flair. Vader looks like such a badass. This network is so worth it just to watch Vader demolish dudes whenever you want. I should really check out SuperBrawl V at some point just to see how Hogan-Vader actually turned out. The Mega Powered-Monster Maniacs get an even bigger pyro display. The Giant is shown briefly. HE'S THE KING OF HULKMANIA, HE IS HULK HOGAN! Perfectly fine little tag match here. Hogan and Vader works great in a tag match because Vader can do some stuff to him briefly, then get Flair in there to eat some offense. Vader's relying on way too many holds against Hogan - it's good for diversity's sake, but bad for the whole point of this character being to crush people. Vader bomb misses. Vader and Savage have some fine brawling outside - that'd be a fun singles match. Anderson's in...and that's not a DQ because why not. Big legdrop gets the win. Helluva return for Flair here. Great beating on Savage and Poffo. Poffo took a solid bump for the punches. Savage looks like he's ready to just wreck fuckers after this. As far as Hogan-era shows go, this was a pretty decent one. It had just enough of that WCW feel to not feel like WWF-lite even with that permeating into some aspects of the show.