WWE Survivor Series 2018

This should be an interesting night, with the main card at least. Caught a bit of the 20 billion team tag on the pre-show.  Twas a match. Gable hitting a German off the top onto a pile of guys on the floor was great stuff. Woods eats a shatter machine after going for the springboard elbow. Women's tag match opens the show. Nia gets booed big-time and rattles her fist. Bayley is dressed like Bob "Spark Plug" Holly with red and a white and black checkerboard getup. Nia's CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO misses! Bayley and Sonya just sorta bonk to the floor and that takes them out. Sasha taps to Asuka. Nia hits three legdrops and a Samoan drop to win it - so now Nia Jax has also beaten Asuka. That was a goddamn terrible match in the same that it lacked anything good. The best thing about it was Nia as the sole survivor actually being called the sole survivior instead of how they've done it - which is have multiple people survive and somehow be sole survivors.

Corbin talks to Steph, but can't be heard over someone smacking a mic. Paige and Shane say that Raw will be feeling blue later. YES! They're hyping up a Steph nut-cutting in advance. That'll bring in ratings! Seth's out in a half Shield/half Raw shirt to face a blue-clad Nakamura in a blue shirt. Ugh. Seth goes for a dive but eats a kick before landing two dives a bit afterwards. Springboard lariat gets 2 for Seth. Botchmania superkick by Seth gets sold far before it actually hits for 2. High fly flow misses and the kinshasa to the neck hits for 2. Seth being a Tanahashi moveset spammer is coming back to bite him! Stomp ends it after 3050 years. Team Raw chats and Braun barks orders. Truth interrupts the idiocy - thank God.

The Bar comes out to face AOP, with new goofy bullshit masks. Enzo does some crap in the front row. Show chokes Spud.  YES. BIG SHOW VS. ROCKSTAR SPUD! Please stop this match right now and put this in its place! Nevermind. Spud pisses himself and then a Batista bomb/neckbreaker ends it. So AOP just beat the holder of every on-paper title on record in WWE for the last decade...why? Cesaro exists to do these jobs.

Nice hype video for Ali vs. Murphy. If they put this presentation on Raw, the cruisers might actually have a chance to get over. Rewind rana gets 2 for Ali. Draping tornado DDT gets 2 for Ali. Spanish fly off the announce table. Murphy's Law ends it and Nigel talks about 205 Live reigning supreme. A. Wo-man. Asks. Dan-iel. Bry-an. Some. Que-stions. A-bout. His. Match. To-night. He says nothing and a Lars Sullivan hype video airs.

Dolph comes out in a tremendous goofy outfit. Joe gets taken out in seconds and Shane decks Dolph with a back elbow. Zig Zag gets 2 on Shane via a save. Shane flying elbow to Braun on the table. Rey takes out Balor with a frog splash. Drew takes out Balor because of course. Shane hits one coast to coast, but gets swatted by Braun on the second one. Braun takes out Jeff and now it's Shane vs. Braun, Drew, and Lashley. Braun powerslams Shane and becomes SOLE SURVIVORS WITH all of them. Baron jumps Braun anyway, so none of this meant anything. Ronda vs. Charlotte is up.

Charlotte lands an elbow to Ronda and slices her face. Ronda's worried about camel toe during a boston crab. Ronda eats a nasty spear for 2! Ronda gets figure 4d and worries about a wedige before giving Charlotte one on the floor and looking exhausting all busted up. She's definitely upping her game in real-time here. Piper's Pit Samoan Drop hits Charlotte, and Charlotte hits her with a kendo stick and breaks it before landing a perfect Natural Selection on the chair. Charlotte turning heel to fight the now-officially-face Becky is awesome - she is far better as a heel. Charlotte beats up refs and Pillmanizes Ronda's head.

Ronda's all beaten and brusied up and gets a you deserved it chant. Yikes. Bryan comes out to face Brock and mocks the hop before kicking the legs a bit. Bryan goes for a kick and Bryan gets bear pawed. GERMAN TO BRYAN! Giant overhead belly to belly. This is perfect. Hyped for Mr. Small Package to prevail. A fan yells for Brock to just let Bryan die. F5, but Brock picks him up. Bryan avoids an F5 and kicks the ref and kicks Brock in the balls before hitting the running knee for 2.9! Brock eats a series of kicks and then the grabbing kicks to the head! Brock gets posted and eats a knee, but Bryan gets tossed into the post. Running knee hits again for 2.9. YES LOCK IS ON BRYAN!

Brock turns it into a triangle and Brock makes that an F5 and wins it. Wow was this great - easily Brock's best match in a year. This was also Bryan's best match since returning and was structed as a David vs. Goliath match with David as a heel shockingly well.

AWA Team Challenge Series Pilot

I've seen a lot of the TCS due to the ESPN Classics airings, and they were god-awful. This is the pilot that apparently was never aired - and two seconds in, it's clear why. The ref is completely gobsmacked by what he's seeing and that's right after wacky '80s cheerleaders sing about the AWA. Then we get clips of foxy boxing, because of course!

Verne appears on a dock with a tackle box and his dog. Ringside Ralph Strangis and Greg Gagne appear dressed as 1992 in track suits IN THE SATELLITE BASE! We'll get some foxy boxing and HOT NEW ROCK AND ROLL. Oh my Jesus. Tommy Jammer is here to impress the ladies, and look a bit off mentally in the process. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, his intro is him walking down a green screen hallway to sides of fans!

Greg says that he wasn't just an indoor track star, but ALSO an outdoor track star. He faces Tom Burton in an empty arena and we have SLOW MOTION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN WRESTLING. We get slow motion on a body slam - and you can see Tommy post himself on Burton and then take a flat back bump in meticulous detail. The piped in crowd noise for a match with no crowd is something else. Jammer slams him and hits hte SURFER SPLASH!

Old folks clap at a restaurant. Baron the once-evil Nazi and GI Joe Sgt Slaughter are side by side chatting while talking about their charges. Paul Diamond listens to Baron, but DeBeers doesn't listen to Slaughter. Greg Gagne talks about the Destruction Crew  They proceed to destroy a building via green screen! Mean Mike has the look of a man that needs to take a very large shit. Wayne insults fat slobs while Mike Enos's gut hangs out. Johnny Valiant brings them out and brags about them to the non-audience.

Mike Enos was also in track, whlie Bloom was a record-holding deadlifter. Jerry Lynn and Ricky Rice face them. In 2018, hearing Greg say that the ref won't allow them to swing a sledgehammer is hilarious. Fans in the restaurant boo whlie Rice eats a big shoulderblock and bumps well fo rit. Lynn comes in and works over Mike. Big double sledge on the arm leads to Enos making a hilarious face. Bloom gets his arm worked over  and more fans in '80s hair boo. We get more '80s crowd shots as Mike rams him into the buckle. Mike hits a powerslam and slow-mo shows Enos' knees hitting before Rice. Enos hits a big flying lariat off the top via the doomsday device for the win.

Johnny V talks about their finish but get drowned out by the crowd booing and Gagne. Sgt Slaughter talks about the TCS and DeBeers representing his team. DeBeers says he's never lost a war while tribal music plays over his blue screen of the South African flag. Wow is this unreal. Ralph talks about the randomizer making DeBeers and Slaughter allies.

The Beverly Hills Knockouts are the foxy boxers and the blonde hits the brunette before the bell and we get some Kevin Dunn-esque endless cuts for the action. Holy Jesus is this cornball, but amusingly so. We get some ass shots of the blonde after some goofy close-ups of the brunette throwing punches. The blonde throws a snap suplex and some more ass shots - including a full thong shot a few times which was definitely unusual for the time.

Corner shoulder charges, as you do in a boxing match. The brunette hits her over her head to knock her down. Mustang Sally hits a backbreaker in a thong. Boy is this ever a prototype of the WWF's terrible late '90s women's matches. The brunette hits a punch and gets up first, sorta. Ralph talks about this being the cutting edge. Holy shit. Greg talks about the king of the hill match being basically a one on one battle royal. Paul Diamond cuts a promo in front of a planet before more wacky intros.

They have a glacially-paced match even by DeBeers standards and we get wacky slow mo on a turnbuckle shot and then the final throw of DeBeers over the top to the floor. Sarge comes out to face the Terminator. They talk about satellite base giving them a better mic for in-ring action so like WCCW five years before, guys can't just call spots loudly. Long headlocks and long tie-ups kill time. Slaughter cannon and the cobra clutch win. Sarge sweats a lot for a guy who does very little in the ring.

 

WWE Crown Jewel

The show starts off with a recap of the Super Show-Down beating and HBK's internal debate to stay retired. Hogan comes out to Real American and a big pyro display. He does his usual spiel and thanks the fans for the huge ovation. Given that Hogan is 65, it really is amazing he can still even do this stuff and still resemble Hulk Hogan. His Excellency gets an intro - so I guess he's the money mark for this show.

The World Cup trophy is shown off and I like that all of the participants get title-ridden intros. Rey says that being in this tournament is one of the reasons he came back to WWE. Orton says he's always been the best in the world and tonight, he'll prove it. Rey's tanktop look isn't good - the whole upper body covering looks a lot better design-wise. Orton heats an apron kick, but lands a mid-air dropkick for 2. Renee bringing up someone sick enough to clip the wings off of flies in Saudi Arabia is...interesting. Rey gets a flash cradle off an RKO attempt and wins it - so Orton RKOs him and waterslide throws him to the floor before throwing him around ringside.

Miz shadowboxing in his goofy getup is pure greatness. Jeff's accomplishments are recapped before he comes out and he really has had a great career for a guy who was a jobber 20 years ago. Miz gets a pretty big intro with pyro on the stage and then a pretty awesome pose on the ropes with arena-spiraling pyro. Arena-level pyro for Miz does make him seem like a top guy. Sadly, when he's wrestling, his weaknesses are exposed. He gets the corner dropkicks and the crowd goes crazy for Jeff's comeback on Miz. Renee says things need to get extreme here and Jeff gets the whisper for 2. Crowd pops for Miz doing the figure 4 with a big woo, but Jeff cradles him for 2. It's amazing that Jeff can still do the tightrope walk on the barricade. Luckily, he has modified his style a bit by doing things like baseball slides instead of dives to the floor. Miz does a schoolboy with the ropes for 2 and Jeff gets a schoolboy worse than the one Austin gave Owen for 2 before Miz gets the finale and wins.

Cole says he just thought of something that makes him nauteous...Miz winning the cup. Seth's accolades are recapped - and he and Dean are STILL TAG CHAMPS. Logically, why hasn't a decision been made on those yet? Lashley's accomplishments are the worst of anyone on-paper, and they didn't bring up anything in TNA to bolster them. Cole rattles off more amateur wrestling and Army accomplishments. Lashley hits a nasty Ron Simmons spinebuster for 2. Lashley gets a series of ground holds. Cole awkwardly says it's night time here in..Crown Jewel. Seth counters the yokasuka cutter and wins with the curb stomp. Corey's ridiculous suit is shown before he throws to Kurt and Byron with Kurt reading terribly off a teleprompter.

 

Kurt comes out to fairly subdued pyro. Kurt gets some mat wrestling and belly to bellies him down. Dolph hits the giant DDT. Angle slam hits and gets 2.5. Dolph's fameasser also gets 2.5. Kurt gets the ankle lock, but Dolph rolls out of it. Kurt goes for a shoulder charge and misses and a Zig Zag ends it.

New Day comes down to the ring on a giant hydraulic magic carpet. The Bar comes out with their awesome graphic taking up the whole stage. Big Show is out with them and fans sing Big Show's theme. Not much to the actual match, sadly. Show is more over than anyone else in the match. The Bar hits a slick double team jackhammer for 2. Sheamus knees him to nix the suicide spear. E and Kofi hit a double stomp/powerbomb for 2.9 when Cesaro makes a save. E launches Kofi onto Cesaro on the floor. E eats a punch from Show and a brogue kick - so the Bar retains!

Byron chats with Miz, who is hoarse. Miz hits a finale on Rey, but it only gets 2. Rey botches a snap sunset flip for 2 and hits a 619, but Miz puts his knees up off the frog splash and cradles him to win. Seth and Dolph have every match they've ever had. Dolph gets 2 off the fameasser. Seth hits the superplex, but Dolph flips to avoid the falcon arrow and gets 2.9 off the Zig Zag. Kneeling superkick hits Dolph, but Dolph wins after Drew shoves Seth off the top and Dolph superkicks him to win.

Joe and AJ are out and have their usual great match. Joe loses, and he is really being dialed down as a US Title-level guy only. When you have someone who got over as THE GUY on Raw with a single angle with Brock, it's a waste of his talent. I'd have given Joe the belt here since AJ really isn't killing it like he was last time, but they're telling the story of him being champ for a year - so I dig that part. Corbin brings the belt out before Brock is out.

Baron smashes Braun with the belt before an F5. Braun kicks out at 2, so Brock nails a second one for another two count. A third F5 lands and Brock only gets 2.9! Brock hits a big F5 to the floor, teasing a countout win. A fifth F5 hits and Brock wins the title - so either he's being paid a shitload of money for both this and Survivor Series, he played UFC, which is unlikely, or he's going to milk WWE for all he can get and maybe work out a deal to work with UFC while in WWE.

Miz vs. Dolph is up and Drew is sent to the back before Miz gets taken out - so Shane opts to replace him because he can't stand the thought of the Best in the World being decided like that. Dolph slugs him and headbutts him. Shane hits the van terminator and wins the World Cup. Unreal. Shane also has large arms for the first time ever.

DX is out and I dig HBK's black and white gear and hankerchief over his face. Kane gets a big intro, whle Taker gets an all-time big one. HBK lands an axehandle off the top and gets a neckbreaker. Taker and HBK go at it and HBK eats a tree slam after the corner bump. HHH gets messed up going over the to the floor. HHH comes in and can barely use his right arm. A floor brawl looks terrible as HHH can only use his left arm and whips Taker and himself into the barricade. HBK hits Kane and his mask falls off before moonsaulting on the BOD and landing on his head.  BOD goes for a double tombstone, but HBK rakes the eyes and superkicks everyone until HHH pedigrees Kane to win.