Wednesday, June 28, 2017

NXT 6-28-17

Asuka vs. Nikki is the main event in a last woman standing match and Mauro makes it seem so important. The Velveteen Dream comes out and just the nickname without Patrick Clark sounds goofy. Dream hits a big kick and then hits a jackhammer to set up the purple rainmaker elbow. He does have the best male flying elbow since Test, so it's a good finish. Asuka is attacked in her car by Nikki before the show, so they brawl. Regal meets with the AOP and Heavy Machinery, who have awesome vests. Oney and Itami beat the fuck out of each other and Itami gets his nose smashed to bits and that's it - wow.

Roddy-Roode hype video recaps Roody's story before Itami vs. Oney part 2 starts. Itami kicks the shit out of him and then palm strikes him off the top resulting in a sick apron bump. ITAMI KILLS HIM WITH THE GTS and wins it. Holy shit was that stiff and fun. Kassius comes down and both he and Itami get beaten up by Sanity. Nikki stands mid-ring all crazed before Asuka comes down. Asuka hits a series of hard strikes before Nikki lands a lariat and ragdolls her head.

Nikki piles chairs up on the floor and they each block suplexes. Asuka eats the stops, but gets a trash can and hits a bunch of front and back round kicks with it on her head! Missile dropkick leads to a hook kick ala Low-Ki. They fight on the apron and Nikki wins that with a falling reverse DDT. Nikki tastes the chairs, but a Saito suplex on them sends Asuka down. Fab 4 hits on Asuka! Asuka lands a series of big kicks, but eats a POWERBOMB ON THE CHAIRS ON THE FLOOR! They fight to the announce area and Asuka hits a superplex off a ladder THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE to win it.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

WWE SD 6-27-17

MITB is recapped before Bryan hypes up the women's MITB rematch tonight. James and Carmella come out to complain so Bryan says that isn't going to ban Ellsworth from ringside tonight - he will throw him out of the building. The Hype Bros face the Usos to possibly earn a title shot again since they had one before Zack's injury. Most of the match happens during a break, but a broski boot misses before a superkick and frog splash end it. New Day comes down and wants a shot, so the Usos give them a shot at Battleground.

Fashion Vice returns with them paying homage to Bossman and the Ascension says they didn't actually destroy the office - they just wanted a spot on the card. The Ascension makes use of the cheese platter and tea before taking some tickets for the show. Lana vs. Naomi features far less skimpy gear and a fast win for Naomi off a split-legged moonsault. Aiden English sings and eats an RKO. He wants to kick some ass tonight, so Shane comes down and talks about their history. Jinder talks about giving Randy another shot - in a Punjabi Prison. Thank God they already had a video package prepared for it.

Mike and Maria Kanellis come out before Sami interrupts them to face Baron. Sami eats the End of Days and loses - so Baron finally beat Sami and they didn't job out the MITB holder. Nakamura chats about how KO should be afraid of him. MITB time leads to Charlotte getting an edge on Tamina with some chops. Tamina hits a big Samoan drop to Becky and we get a wacky spot where Becky climbs, but Tamina and Charlotte fold it and Tamina tosses her into Charlotte. Nattie and Charlotte fight up top before Carmella tips them over and eats a Becksploder!

Nattie, Charlotte, Becky, and Tamina fight it out on the ladder before it tips over. Carmella climbs, but they move her and the ladder over. Charlotte attacks Tamina and traps her under it...before changing things to better face the hard camera and Carmella gets an edge but Tamina tips them over. Nattie gets a sharpshooter on Carmella before a Natural selection hits her too. Ellsworth sneaks in, but Becky beats him up. Becky climbs, but Carmella stops her and hurts Becky's knee leading to Carmella using a chair and then winning again.

WCW Uncensored 1999

This is one of the last really good WCW PPVs that I remember, and it has some bizarre booking as well and a great tag title match. The opening video has some neat X-ray style effects for the main event, which look good. Tenay, Heenan, and Tony are our commentary team and hype up the barb wire cage match. The first blood stip was only added at the last minute and hyped up on Yowza.

Mike tries to add a sense of history to everything here by saying that Flair either becomes a 14 time champion or he never enters a ring again. Mikey Whipwreck comes out to face Kidman, who is in the wifebeater and jean shorts. The WCW Cruiserweight Title looks fantastic to this day. Mikey gets a wacky inverted STF thing on and then locks on a dragon sleeper lying on his stomach and then he turns it into a chinlock for some reason. Boy is Mikey just releasing shit for no good reason weird. Kidman dives off the top to the floor, but hits his knees hard. Mikey hits a big lariat off the top for 2. Kidman hits a pedigree facejam for 2. Mikey TRIES A POWERBOMB, but Kidman facejams him and wins with his gorgeous SSP.

We get a recap of the Stevie Ray vs. Vincent, or 10 CENT VINCENT as he calls him. Um...maybe the two black guys shouldn't be bragging about "fighting in the jungle" wow is that an odd line. They are battling over WHO RUNS THE B-TEAM and Hulk Hogan was actually used to hype this up. Each guy actually gets the NWO theme while Vincent is in jeans and an NWO shirt while Stevie is in a mix of Harlem Heat flames with NWO colors and...pinstriped trunks over them. Well, that's just flat out awful.
They have a walk and brawl for eons before they go into an area that has no fans and is apparently held for camera crews. Vincent actually hits a diving punch and then Stevie atomic drops him into what should have been a head bonk spot - but they don't connect and just fall down. Horace tosses the slapjack in and Vincent goes for the slapjack weapon, but Stevie kicks him in the gut and hits the shitty slapjack move to win.

Nash, Lex, and Liz comes down for Nash vs. Rey. Rey eats a big elbow and goes to the floor. Lex trips Rey and Nash boots him and pins him after the powerbomb. Hak hypes up a hardcore triple threat match. Cat and Onoo come out to face Jerry Flynn. Oh joy. Onoo gets flipped into the ring and pinned at 2.5 after Cat makes the save. Dean and Benoit narrate a rather intense, and now disturbing video about the strap usage to hang guys in their rivalry.
Bigelow, Hak, and Raven come out for the match. Hak has the barb wire around him, which makes for a cool visual despite it being rubberized and not actually sticking to even his giant shirt. Raven's WWF theme has been blended into the audio fairly perfectly. Fans chant for ECW while a bunch of nothing weapon shots occur. Hak gets double superbombed onto a table, which doesn't break. So Bigelow just hops and boom it breaks. Chastity uses a fire extinguisher on Raven and lands a crucifix headbutt to the balls to give Hak the win.

The announcers chat for a bit and the lumberjacks come down for the tag title match. The Horsemen theme remains outstanding and Benoit in a half-shirt looks weird. Hennig is out in his usual stuff while Barry is in jeans and a black tanktop while wearing a vest over that. Arn comes out in a similar getup, but with a long-sleeved shirt looking awesome. He buys out Chris Adams as a lumberjack, which makes sense since Kendall is out as well. Barry and Curt try to bail and get whipped and thrown back in. Benoit hits a bit lariat and Hennig nosedives before going out and getting whipped. Bobby talks about paying lumberjacks off in a match like this, which is smart. Benoit chops Barry hard and Barry goes out to the relief of straps. Dean and Curt go at it and Dean gets the cloverleaf, but Barry saves Curt.

 Benoit comes in and runs wild on everyone. Dean tags in and gets hit with a belt-wrapped punch from Hennig. Arn eats one and bumps on the apron before revealing a TIRE IRON. He hits Curt, but Barry goes to superplex  Benoit. Dean wraps his neck with the strap and goes down...but loses Barry, who just falls over to the floor because he should. Benoit hits the headbutt and wins his first official title in WCW. The blue backing on the belts looks outstanding and the actual title design is nice as well.

Jericho with his WWF theme and Ralphus are out. Saturn's Marilyn Manson knockoff is nixed and he comes out in a black leather dress and corset, eye liner, black lipstick, and yellow contacts. This is a chain match and Perry gets an exploder. Jericho goes for a chain-assisted splash off the top, which misses and the DVD ends it. Mikey chats with Mark Madden and the crew for a bit.

Buff and Scott Steiner come out and Scott is TV Champ. That title looks good on him - it was an outstanding design. Booker comes out in fairly generic-looking white velvet with black boots and knee covers. Booker sends him out and then gets 2 off a big flying forearm off the second rope. Booker eats a superplex after Buff crotches him. Buff goes for a chairshot and Booker ducks, so he hits Scott and Booker wins. Solid stuff.

Buffer is mid-ring doing intros, and boy does he feel perfect doing Flair. Flair tells Lil Naitch to not end this due to a scratch - it should only end at the ref's discretion. Hogan is out to the Wolfpac theme. Hogan's black and red and white getup looks outstanding. Buffer hypes up Hogan as the driving force behind the NWO and Hogan's goal being to end Flair in "the WCW". The cage gets its own lighting and music, which always works well.


 Tony talks about this being the first big Flair match for Robinson, who grew up as a huge Flair fan. The cage itself looks outstanding too and it's amazing to thank that in two years, this company would be dead. Hogan shoves him down and tackles him to a huge "HOGAN!" chant. Flair pokes the eye and chops away in the corner. Hogan actually locks on a figure four, but Flair escapes and punches away.

Flair eats the cage and punched a bunch in the corner before he bites him. Flair is cut and climbs the ropes for the moon spot. Flair has a cut over the eye and Tony talks about the discretion rule. Hogan grabs the wire and rakes it on Flair's face before grabbing his weight belt and whipping him. Hogan tosses him into the cage to a huge "HOGAN" chant. Tony says you can forget the first blood stip because it's just going on and Hogan doesn't care - he just wants to keep hurting Flair. I like that - things went awry with the blood, so they just roll on and find logical ways to cover it up.

Big boot and the legdrop hit. Hogan tells Charles to call it, but Charles says he has the discretion to not end it, so he won't. Flair gets knucks and decks Hogan before sending him to the cage and cutting him. David comes down with Torrie, with actual reasonable breasts and brunette roots! Ric drops the knee and he trashtalks David. 

Tony says that Flair's face is a crimson mask and Ric gets 2 off a elbow. Hogan eats some major chops BUT HOGAN HULKS UP! HE POINTS and a Fan's Hulkamania IS GOD sign is in the frame perfectly. PUNCHES! BIG BOOT AND LEGDROP! Charles counts 1, so Hogan keeps punching away. Flair gets an impressive delayed suplex AND POSES! Charles takes an odd bump off a snake eyes and Hogan picks him up. Flair low blows him so Arn comes down and punches David! Torrie jumps him, but he shrugs her off. Tire iron knocks out Hogan and the figure four gets the pin!

Buffer says that history has been made and Flair is now the champion of the world for the 14th time. This was a great, but weird match. It was flawed, but yet perfectly structured as an actual story. However, they don't really give Flair a celebration and Hogan is still mid-ring with David to close the show. That part of things kinda sucks, but the match as a whole was quite good.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

WWE SmackDown 6-20-17

Bryan meets with the MITB chicks before saying that he'll listen to them AFTER Ellsworth and Carmella. They yammer on forever before Bryan bickers with Charlotte backstage. Big E beats an Uso with the Big Ending. Nattie and Tamina yammer, before Naomi tells everyone to feel the glow, but gets interrupted by Lana. Randy cuts a robotic promo about hurting Jinder Mahal. Nakamura and Dolph have another match. The kinshasa to the back of the head sets up the kinshasa and the win. Sami is in a suit and chats with Bryan and Becky. This feels like them possibly teasing a Sami and Becky love storyline.

KO comes out for an open challenge, which AJ accepts. KO says AJ isn't from Dayton, BUT CHAD GABLE IS! Gable gets a dramatic 2 off a moonsault. KO necks him and wins with the powerbomb. Sami and Tye do a Sonic ad - each drink gets a 10. Bryan brings the women out to announce an MITB rematch for next week. Charlotte hits the Natural Selection on Carmella before Becky and her booty shorts lock on the disarmer. Jinder beats Harper with the cobra clutch slam. Orton and Jinder brawl and Randy hits a sloppy RKO to a diving Singh. Okay then.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

WWE Money in the Bank 2017

A giant Jinder video in the pre-show makes him actually seem like THE MAN. The Colons face the Hype Bros on the pre-show and lose a nothing match. The women's MITB match starts things off. Byron cannot say "Carmella" to save his life. It always sounds like Kamala. Everyone gets an intro and then everyone just stands around for a video package for some reason. This is about the women's revolution, which now includes Beth and Jacqueline. All righty. Charlotte runs wild with running boots in her Joker gear. I don't know how it's possible to take a bad bump off a Samoan drop, but Carmella found a way. Nattie and Becky fight over the ladder. Why fight over the ladder? Just let your opponent grab it and then beat the shit out of her. Ass-first bump on the ladder by Becky. Ouch.

Charlotte gets crotched on the ladder by Carmella and they fight up top. Tamina tosses them off onto the ropes. Well, that boot to Carmella was goofy - she sold that way too quickly. Charlotte hits a flip dive to the pile off the top rope to the floor. Becky climbs up, but Ellsworth dumps her. Ellsworth grabs the case for her. So logically, Shane the babyface comes out and nixes this, right? JBL is clearly being yelled at to say "what rule did he break!?" over and over.
Tag title match is up. USOS DOUBLE SUPLEX KOFI INTO THE POST! I demand that be in 2K19! Kofi gets a mushroom stomp! Kofi is locked in the sunrise, and a dive is caught by E for a belly to belly. Kofi gets a dragon clutch! BIG ENDING OUTTA NOWHERE for 2. Midnight Hour gets 2 and the Usos bail and lose by countout.

Bob Orton Jr and Sarge chat. Naomi vs Lana is up with them saying AFTER JINDER WINS THE TITLE, this could be the biggest upset of the century. Lana lands a pair of snap suplexes into the rope. Rear View gets 2, but she eats a high kick. Lana gets locked in whatever Naomi's submission is and loses. FASHION VICE!"It's a VHS tape! is it Coliseum!?"

MIKE AND MARIA KANELLIS ARE HERE! They're basically doing their TNA deal, only now it's with the power of love. Miss MITB recap leads to that awesome Jinder video since it's already time for that one. Baron, Larry Hennig, Greg Gagne, Sarge, Bob Orton, and Flair get their intro. Jinder's face being covered up really does give him an badass aura. They've got something with this.

Orton vs. Jinder is up. Jinder avoids an RKO, but the Orton stomp hits. Jinder gets tossed into the legends, so he attacks the knee and smashes it on the announce table. Jinder does the figure 4, then the spinning toehold of Dory, but Orton avoids the superplex to do his own. RKO, but the Singh brothers put his foot on the rope! They get tossed out, but go after Bob, so Randy makes a save. Randy once again murders them through a table.TABLE TO TABLE RKO! This allows Jinder to get the cobra clutch slam and win it. 

FASHION POLICE ARE OUT! And it's to face the Ascension. Yowza. Crowd dies. Fashion Police win. Everyone comes out, but Baron jumps Nak during his intro. Baron deep sixes Dolph on the floor. KO eats a nasty slam off the top into the ladder by Sami! Sami hits a sunset bomb off the ladder to Dolph! HALF AND HALF SUPLEX ON THE APRON. KO is nuts. AJ DIVES ONTO CORBIN, WHO CHOKESLAMS HIM ON A LADDER BRIDGE! KO pulls Sami off the ladder into a low blow. AA OFF THE APRON ONTO THE LADDER. Jesus. KO is going to kill himself. AJ hangs on the hook and falls, and thankfully lands face-first. Baron goes to climb, but Nak's theme hits. Baron is stopped by music for some reason.NAKAMURA-AJ STAREDOWN! They have a good back and forth exchange for a bit. Baron knocks them off the ladder and wins.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

WWE SD 6-13-17

New Day gets a big trumpet intro before the Usos interrupt and then the Fashion Police come down and then the Colons. We get an 8-man tag and New Day wins with the Up Up Down Down - the Demolition decapitation with a double stomp. Sami is annoying with both Nakamura and AJ, who he'll team with in the main event. Mojo chats about getting his chance against Jinder and he beat him before, but couldn't do it last week. Zack returns and they're buds against. Naomi beats Tamina, but gets beaten up by Lana afterwards and laid out with a hammerlock Sky High. Jinder cuts another intense promo - only now with a swank rug mid-ring. RKO outta nowhere takes out Jinder.

KO stirs things up with his partners. Nattie faces Charlotte, who is in awesome blue and white gear. Nattie gets 2 off a sitout powerbomb, but Natural Selection ends it. We get another amusing Fashion Files bit, showing off Fandango's many leg tats. Lana vows to become the first-ever ravishing SD Women's champion. AJ hits the forearm to setup the mafia kick to win it for the faces, while a brawl breaks out and Nakamura lays out Baron to climb the ladder and grab the case. Nothing show.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

WWE SD 6-6-17

The show starts off with a recap of the women's brawl last week leading to the MITB match. The new white and gold case looks nice. Charlotte brags about being superior while Ellsworth does his DUH bit. Lana comes out in a gown and says that she wants to be in the mix. Naomi says that she hasn't beaten anyone and then she leaves in a huff. Faces vs. Heel six person tag leads to Lana interfering and then Tamina beating Naomi with a nasty superkick. Great-looking finish at least.

Mojo says that winning the Andre battle royal hasn't done anything for him, and SD IS THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY! He wants a shot in the MITB, but he'll have to beat Jinder. AJ beats Dolph in another short, sloppy match - so they're 50/50! Fashion Files showcase Fandango shirtless. New Day walks backstage with their cart before going black and white for this. They mock the Usos shirts for a bit. Mojo runs around mid-ring before the Singh Brothers introduce Jinder, who now covers his entire face and looks rather badass doing it. Jinder rakes the eyes and hits the cobra clutch slam.

Randy says that Jinder will hear him and New Day comes out and beat the Colons. Usos cut an intense promo on them. Sami cuts a neurotic promo on Nakamura before Baron beats him up and throws him into a bunch of ladders. Naomi tells Shane she wants a match with Lana at MITB and Shane just makes it. Okay then. Nakamura beats KO in an incredibly short match given the guys involved and then Baron beats him up. Great. So no one gets over!

Sunday, June 4, 2017

WWE Extreme Rules 2017

Pre-show is the usual recaps and bullshit. Hardys are in the SOCIAL MEDIA LOUNGE and Matt says the timing is right. Matt says that tonight, they will prove why they are the best tag team in time and space. Kalisto faces Apollo and gets a bit of an edge with a dragonrana senton to the floor. A standing SSP leads to Crew chatting, and then a Titus distraction leads to an SDS win. Riveting. Dean vs. Miz gets things off - so they're starting with one of two matches that feel important. Dean and Miz don't do much, but the crowd is hot.

Dean grabs a chair while Cole says LOOKIT!LOOKIT!LOOKIT!LOOKIT! Booker's ONE MONTH IC TITLE REIGN CRASHED THE GLASS CEILING AND PUT THE FIVE TIME WORLD CHAMPION ON THE MAP. And to think, nothing this company says has any meaning whatsoever.They trade figure fours after a dozen lifetimes and Miz tells Maryse to slap him - but the ref is actually smart and kicks her out. Miz tosses Dean into the ref, distracting him for a Finale win.

Robo Woman says. A lot. Of things. And Bayley. Buries Alexa's segment. Noam Dar and Fox are out to face Rich Swann and Sasha. Faces win. No one cares. Bliss vs. Bayley is up and the video package takes nine years. Bayley starts off being a moron by actually trusting the heel to just let her go grab the kendo stick. Bayley gets the stick, but Alexa steals it and hits her and then lands the DDT to end it. Wow.

 Tag title match time. The faces bonk the heels against the cage to DELETE chants.  Jeff takes a bump from far too high off the side of the cage given how banged up he is - making it 2 on 1. Jeff climbs again to save Matt, but gets sent down. Matt hits a twist. A super white noise leads to Jeff hitting a whisper in the wind off the top of the cage. This leads to Jeff...somehow being legal again, and due to that, Matt can't pull him out of the ring in time and the heels win.

Neville vs. Aries is up with another super-long video package. This is a fine match, I just can't care about any of it. The commentary undermines everything and they aren't doing enough to make this feel like a true blowoff match.They trade Rings of Saturns, but Neville tries to shove Aries into the ref. In a lame move, the Last Chancery is done OUTSIDE, but the ref says it doesn't count. Aries misses the dive, eats the Red Arrow and then taps to the Rings. Gotta be shitting me.

Main event time! Joe and Bray form an uneasy allaince and take out everyone before toying with Finn. Bray and Joe hit back to back sentons to Finn with a chair on Finn, but Roman makes a save. Well, sorta - he powerbombs Finn, but eventually goes after the heels. Roman eats a nasty uranage on the announce table, which doesn't budge.

Balor recovers and gets revenge on the chair usage by Bray and Joe by chairshotting them and then landing double stomps with the chair before landing a shotgun dropkick on the barricade. Choke is on Finn, but Roman spears them through the time keeper's area! Seth hits a HIGH FLY FLOW THROUGH THE TABLE ON BRAY! Roman and Seth slug it out and Seth hits a superkick and a high fly flow for 2. BUCKLE BOMB, BUT ROMAN RECOVERS AND SUPERMAN PUNCHES HIM. Shotgun kick to Roman and the slingblade hits, and the double stomp hits - BUT JOE CHOKES HIM OUT! YES - Joe faces Brock!