Caught the tail end of the cruiserweight title match. Loved the quick kamigoye knee into the running brainbuster. Senton off the top hits the back, but Murphy's Law ends it. Women's tag title chamber match starts things off. Naomi and Carmella are out - that's THE TEAM THAT IS KNOWN AS FABULOUS GLOW. Good to see them spend all of 3 seconds coming up with the name. Sonya and Rose start against Bayley and Sasha, and Sonya in long tights is odd. I like seeing Beth REFERENCE THE PRIOR WWE WOMENS TAG TITLE HOLDERS here in the chamber for the first-ever WWE womens tag title holders. Mandy takes a crazy bump off a tower of doom and the IIconics come in and are annoying as all hell. IIconics beat Naomi and then hide in a pod to avoid Nia and Tamina. They destroy them and then Fire and Desire. Sonya beats Sonya with a slick-looking modified bank statement.
Sasha and Bayley cut an okay little promo on the belts. A video airs talking about how incredible Shane is - thank God we got something putting the McMahon family over. Miz and Maryse are out to announce that she's pregnant again. Kudos to Miz. He isn't a McMahon, but gets to go through the motions in WWE and put all the effort he needs into Maryse. Jimmy hits Miz's corner lariat. Shane hits Sheamus's finisher to kill that dead. Shane hits one coast for coast, but eats a superkick on the second one. Big splash hits before Miz saves at 2.9. Uso eats a giant DDT and they win off a crucifix. Kinda shocked to see the Usos winning the titles this week. Shane and Miz walk off with Miz looking pissed.
Lio and Lashley look longingly at Dasha backstage. There is nothing at all going on in this match. Lashley and Lio exchange various kinds of stomps to Balor. Lio loses the belt and Lashley's pissed. Kinda hyped to see Lashley beat the shit out of Lio on Mania...or probably Fastlate. Ugh. Lio eats a giant spinebuster, so now Lashley's just a big dude. Of course we have to turn this Mark Henry doc ad into something revolving around a McMahon. The Becky-Charlotte brawl on the house show last night is shown.
Charlotte comes down and heels on the fans with her tits hanging out. Ronda is out dressed as Sonya blade. Throws, Piper's Pit, and the armbar end it. Why the fuck is Becky Lynch in Fujiko Mine's catsuit? Becky beats the shit out of Charlotte with the crutch. Ronda just not giving a fuck about any of this is perfect. Becky and Ronda have a crutch-off while Charlotte moans on the mat. She's either in pain or enjoying this too much. Becky beats the shit out of Ronda with a crutch and splits her head open.
Corbin comes down to be massacred by Braun. Braun chugs around and then Drew and Lashley come out to beat up Braun. Chairshots and a claymore. They set up a double stack of tables and hit a Shield bomb off a double set of steps and Corbins it. They all pose and do Braun's pose. We go from this to a plug for the Special Olympics. Backstage, we get a Miz and McMahon skit at the trainer's office and Miz says he let everyone down. Lacey Evans comes out for some reason and then goes back... Okay then. Random video packages. Fuck this show.
Kofi is out for the chamber match. He is put over huge during his intro and during the intro of everyone he beat in the gauntlet. Bryan and Joe start and Joe chops Bryan around the chain link. Joe and Bryan have an awesome chop exchange that marks up Joe's chest. Bryan goes on top of a pod for a sit-in before Kofi attacks. Kofi hits a trust fall dive off the chamber to them. AJ comes in and hits a forearm on Bryan before Joe chokes Kofi, who cradles him for 2. AJ takes Joe out. Jeff is in and hits poetry in motion on Bryan with Kofi. Jeff puts AJ on the buckle and swantons him, but he gets up and eats the running knee to take him out - great stuff there.
Bryan wraps AJ up in the buckles. AJ goes for the forearm, but eats an RKO instead and is gone. Kofi takes out Orton, bringing it down to just Kofi vs. Bryan. Kofi is ungodly over, and they've managed to bring him back to the levels he was at 9 years ago in under a week. Goddamn is he over! Kofi avoids the corner dropkick with a big dive for 2. Kofi goes for a bulldog, but gets tossed everything-first into the pod! Running knee and a flip bump get 2.9! KOFI IS LOCKED INTO THE LEBELL LOCK, BUT KOFI MAKES IT TO THE ROPE!
Kofi teases a superplex off the pod, but gets his head chucked into the plastic. They fight up top and Bryan gets knocked down. SPLASH OFF THE TOP MISSES! Running knee hits and gets the duke. Well, they didn't give Kofi the belt here - and on a night where the rest of the show was such nothing, it would have heped a ton, but they can still do it at Fastlane. Tonight felt like THE NIGHT though. Tonight was Kofi's night - but they can at least give him "the win" at Fastlane. They made a new star in only five days, with no real notice, and they can keep his momentum going if they don't overthink it. Kofi leaves to a giant KOFI chant.
