WWE Royal Rumble 2020

This year's show is pretty cold beyond the men's Rumble itself - but should serve as a nice break from all of the Kobe Bryant news dominating things. The man was an absolute legend in his field and his loss is something that will be felt for a long time. A wacky Lacey Evans commercial airs with Bayley saying that she'll make sure Lacey's brat daughter can see her lose first-hand. Then the panel talks about Lacey being a loving mother a lot. This is the new Britt is a Dentist!

Sheamus is out to face Shorty G. They've got a non-tron in a straight line with Sheamus being shown with like half a house tops behind him. Shorty G's MANTRA ABOUT BEING SHORT is recapped in-depth by Cole. They proceed to do...stuff for a while. How do you have a David vs. Goliath story this boring? IT'S LITERALLY ONE OF THE GREATEST, SIMPLEST STORIES EVER TOLD. Sheamus grinds away with a finger lock for a while.

Corey calls Sheamus' offense "torturous". Torturous is a good way for Corey to describe this match. Corey tries to get Sheamus over as THE FELLA. That won't get old at all I'm sure. Moonsault block is caught by Sheamus, who eats a DDT. Ankle pick allows Sheamus to go for a Brogue, which G ducks and gets an ankle lock on. Brogue hits and ends it after 45 or minutes. Or maybe it was 5. THE FELLA IS BACK according to Cole. A GAME SHORTY G. Poor fucker is now getting jobber-level hype on commentary.

Sheamus is hyped up for not aging on the panel. Halloween-themed Mexican vs. the Hispanic Ranger. Hyped! Andrade is back in white thank God. Carrillo's name is botched by the announcer and King as Roberto. Andrade misses a big PRIDE stomp on the mat. Andrade gets a wacky lucha submission on before Carrillo escapes and gets a crossbody. Super rana gets 2. Humberto goes for a rana, but Andrade rolls through and wins with a sunset flip.

Big SD hype video airs to make the show seem at all exciting. Austin narrates a video package about the Royal Rumble itself. Dude's got a hell of a voice and is so intense - how hasn't he gotten much voiceover work? Roman eliminating Brock will FINALLY give him some kind of win over him - FIVE YEARS AFTER THE ROAD TO ROMAN-MANIA began. Actual highways have been built in less time. HERE. COMES. THE. BIG. DAWG! Why does Roman have go away heat again?

Roman comes out with a wacky bronze BIG DOG video before Corbin's out with his sedan and we get a dog food recap. We get a walk and brawl before a slam gets 2 for Roman. Deep Six gets 2 for Corbin. Walk and brawl in the crowd. "There's no royalty from Texas!" is a low-key great line from Corey about KING BOO-KAH! Announce table chokeslam by Baron. Roman Samoan drops him through a table in the crowd area. Finally, after a decade, Dolph and Roode attack Roman. WILD PUNCHING. Cameramen swinging cameras around to simulate excitement! I think Corbin slammed an Uso on a guardrail next to a big black box.

Of course the Rumble show opens with a row of portajohns. Roman moves around THE STRUCTURES as Cole calls them and dumps Corbin in one before tipping it over.  They fight on top of the dugout for a while and he chairs Roman. SUPERMAN PUNCH ON THE DUGOUT! SPEAR ON THE DUGOUT THE BIGDOGWINS!

A KO and Joe promo airs with some random buffering. Fire and Desire chat about being partners. Sonya says she'll throw herself over the top to sacrifice herself for Mandy AND THEN COLE TALKS ABOUT KOBE. Why not just start the show with this? Women's Rumble is up.

Alexa's out as #1 with Bianca Belair as 2. Backbreaker and wacky moonsault hit for the EST. Mighty Molly is out. Crossbody off the top to both of them. Nikki's out for some double-teams. KOD to Cross onto Bliss. Code Red by Bliss. Lana's out as a WW Superstar and cuts a heel promo on the fans. Her Captain Marvel getup is great  Mercedes Martinez is out and then Liv takes out Lana wearing hot leather.

Lana takes Liv out and then Mandy comes down. Cross strips down and crossbodys Mandy. Candice is out and then Bianca takes out Molly. She tries to take out Mandy, BUT OTIS ACTS AS A CRASH PAD. Sonya and Mercedes stiff each other a lot. Fire and Desire knee Mercedes and take her out. Kairi comes down and Naruto runs to the ring.

Kairi massacres everyone and gets an Alabama slam before the Inssane Elbow and Yim comes in. Bliss is used as a weapon to take Cross out before Bliss uses Bianca's hair to prevent her own elimination. Fire and Desire are thrown onto Otis taking them out, after he saved Mandy again by catching her when Sonya accidentally hit her. Bliss slaps Kairi off the top to take her out.

"You've heard that the worst has yet to come - she has arrived" - Well, King is right about Tamina. Bianca takes out Tamina and has 6 eliminations here - a new women's Rumble record. Dakota Kai's out to her new metal theme. Chelsea Green is out and is taken out by Bliss. Bianca takes out Dana Brooke. Bianca goes to powerbomb Bliss and get a thong slip before Bliss is taken out via a post shot.

 Charlotte's out and they go back and forth. Naomi comes out in a ridiculous outfit with a giant fro. It's amazing how much of a legend Beth is considered in WWE given how little she really did as a pushed act. Bianca goes up top in a corner with no one there for some reason and Charlotte takes her out. Kelly Kelly's out and stinkfaces Toni before Sarah Logan comes out. Xia Li comes out and boots Toni down.

Beth's head is just leaking blood. Shotzi Blackheart comes down to a better reaction than most in this. Naomi avoids elimination by hitting the barricade and Carmella's out. Tegan Nox comes out and then SANTINA MARELLA RETURNS! Boy does Santina play totally differently in 2020 than 2009. And it wasn't exactly great or progressive then. She hits herself with the cobra and that's it. Well, easier payday than a match with Toru Yano.

Shayna's out at 30 and gets 7 eliminations quickly. Naomi makes a table topper bridge and gets back in to get thrown out. Carmella's out like a sack of shit. Charlotte and Shayna square off. Shayna takes out Beth and Shayna's taken out with a rope-assisted headscissor. Well that accomplished very little. Shayna really could've been made in one night. She gets booed and says that she's a diamond and regardless of if anyone wanted her to win, THIS IS HER DIVISION.

Emo Bayley is out before they show Lacey with her daughter and she boos Bayley. We get a long recap of her military career while Bayley kills time. BME misses and Bayley wins and holds the tights kinda while Cole says SHE'S CERTAINLY A FUTURE CHAMPION! 

Bryan vs. THE FIEND is up. It's a strap match with a pin or submission rule - that's better. Not as good as JUST THIS BEING A STRAIGHT MATCH, but better than four corners with wacky lights. Just a reminder that before he came up with The Fiend, Bray Wyatt was off TV forever after being Matt Hardy's lackey in the undercard of Raw. So while he's not a great worker, he is damn sure a genius at making himself come off like a star when he needs to. 

Bryan gets strapped a bunch.before a flying knee gets 2. Bryan doubles up the strap and beats Bray's back. Yes kicks are mixed in with strap shots. Knee plus is attempted, but sister abigail hits for 2.9! Mandible claw in the corner, but Bryan gets a triangle over the rope. Bryan gets the Yes Lock using the strap. Bray gets some grounded elbows, but can't keep him down. KNEE PLUS GETS 2. Crowd is living and dying with Bryan here. It's incredible just how good he is. Bryan straps him, but Bray no sells it and he gets the claw. Refs gather around Bryan as he's all sliced around the elbow. It's rare that WWE lets anything breathe, and this was great. 

Becky vs. Asuka is up and Becky lands a giant gordbuster off the apron. Asuka counters a suplex with a sitout spinebuster for 2. Asuka punts her and lands a buzzsaw kick for a long 2. Becky gets the disarmher for the win. This was good-ish, but didn't really click outside of the punt. Street Profits do a skit. 

Booker is out for commentary. Lashley and Rusev are out of the Rumble due to a brawl earlier. Brock's out at 1 and Elias is 2. He gets tossed out as does Rowan. Roode's out and strikes him before eating a lariat and an F5. Brock parades around with the belt before Morrison comes out. Brock push kicks him and belly to belly suplexes him out. WOW did this ever drop him down a dozen pegs. Kofi's out and he gets the better of Brock briefly. Kofi's got a Kobe armband on. Rey's out! Big E's out too. They gang up on Brock, but not even Rey as Batman can do much. BIG ENDING TO LESNAR! Brock takes Rey out and then dives off E for a lariat! 

Kofi's F5ed out! Cesaro comes out and gets a few uppercuts in before being tossed out. Shelton's out and Cole talks about his experience with Brock. Heyman hugs him and then Shelton hugs Brock - before they square off for the next entrant and Brock just Germans him and lariats him. Okay, so Brock did take it easy.

Nakamura's out for part of what would have been a dream match five years after it was actually a match a decade ago. Nak gets a kick, but gets tossed out. MVP returns in Black Panther garb with Brock dancing to his theme. MVP snaps his throat on the rope, but eats an F5 and that's it. Keith Lee's out and this has folks on edge. A staredown leads to Keith landing a pair of tackles and a corner charge. Braun's out and he dropkicks Lee. Floor charge to Lee and a lariat to Brock mid-ring. Braun and Keith go at it and Brock takes them both out to tie Braun's record.

Ricochet's out at 15 and low blows Brock leading to Drew claymoring Brock to send him out! Drew grabs Ricochet and tosses him over the top in one go. Drew takes on Miz and sends him out while Brock gets a "goodbye song", but stays in the time keeper's area. AJ gets both a P1 and Phenomenal CG graphic. Anderson comes out and we get random beatings until EDGE RETURNS. Edge throws a bunch of spears and wisely doesn't just throw his head into the mat anymore.

Edge eliminates AJ and Riddle's out in black white leather. Drew takes out Corbin. Orton's out and we get a Rated RKO reunion taking out the OC. KO runs wild with cannonballs in the corner and a pop-up bomb to Drew. Drew walks into the Black Mass. Joe fat trumpets down to the ring. Joe and KO fight it out before Seth comes out. KO and Joe roll out to brawl with AOP. KO tosses Seth out, but AOP catches him. Seth takes out KO. Clutch to Seth, but Buddy attacks him and Seth takes Joe out. Joe and KO brawl with AOP. Now Seth has to face Rated RKO, Drew, and THE BIG DOG!

Seth wants to team with Roman, but eats a Superman punch, an Orton powerslam, claymore, and Drew tosses him out. WHY COULDN'T EDGE SPEAR HIM? Double RKO to Drew! Orton teases an RKO to Edge, but gets caught and shrugs it off. EDGE TOSSES OUT ORTON! Slugfest with Edge and Roman leads to a Superman punch to Edge. EDGE SPEARS THE BIG DOG AND TOSSES HIM, but Roman gets the apron. Edge is out and Roman goes to take out Drew. Claymore hits and he tosses out Roman to win. Drew McIntyre will main event WrestleMania...and that's with tickets not selling great. Oh boy.

NWA Hard Times

JIP due to a post-work nap. Wild Cards vs. RNR Express vs. Storm and Drake as Anderson left for Impact. Robert drop toeholds Isaacs for a Storm kneedrop for 2. Storm plays face in peril and Latimer can't prevent a tag, but Isaacs makes sure the ref doesn't see it. Latimer gets a pop-up powerbomb, but RICKY TAGS IN AND SLUGS AWAY. CANADIAN DESTROYER TO LATIMER, but Eli hits a Gravy Train off it and wins the titles! Storm boys to them while Eli hugs Robert.

It's amazing that in 2020, the NWA is bigger than it's been in 30 years. Billy Corgan has worked a near-miracle getting it to this level and building up so much goodwill so quickly. Great promo work by Storm and Eli saying that they're as thing as beer and liquor. Beer Muscles is teased as a team, but Eli says you can just call them Champs. Rosa vs. Kay is up next. Rosa's out and just has IT in spades with the war paint.

They meet in the middle with a Frye-Takayama exchange to start. Big northern lights by Kay gets 2. Nice corner flurry by Kay leads to Rosa getting ahead with some kicks in the corner. It amazes me how Bennett has just slid into the role of color man so seamlessly - I legit don't miss Cornette at all now. Bennett is just perfect for the role with the modern product. Rosa legdrops the arm and gets a Yes Lock. She rolls through into a front choke, but a rope break ends it.

Rolling kneebar by Kay is avoided. Kay gets her elbow kicked and Bennett relays being out 6 months with surgery due to a shot like that. God, he's just SO GOOD. Disarmher by Rosa. Rosa gets a corner German. Rosa goes for an apron somersault, but Kay hoists her into an apron bomb. Rosa dives and Kay drops her with...something and eats a Destroyer for 2. Rosa eats a big tombstone for 2.5, but gets the Thunder Driver to win it. This was fantastic and the best showcase yet of Stu Bennett on commentary.

ROH invasion angle airs. Marty's out and he wants a shot at the title. Flip's match isn't a title match because Nick is a coward because title matches are box office. Aldis says that this is the house that he built and ROH was the hot ticket when he was there and now the NWA is the hot ticket due to himself too. Nick says he'll give Flip a chance for the title and if Nick wins, all of his stuff with ROH is on his terms. And this starts tonight because if he wants Flip to get a shot at the title, Marty has to leave.

Dan Maff is out on his comeback trail for a TV Title semi-final. Trevor Murdoch's out and appears to have gained 30 pounds since the last taping. HOSS WARFARE! Murdoch lands a billion forearms to the jaw before Maff lands a corner spear. Chest and back rake by Maff. Murdoch wins hoss warfare. Storm vs. Starks is up and Starks wins with a crucifix for the title match against Murdoch in the main event.

At a weight he refuses to disclose TO ANYONE is a great little bit. Question Mark is out in Kill Bill attire while Steiner has his TNA theme. This is exactly the kind of getup Steiner should be in at this point. It fits his character and hides his body nicely. Long tieups lead to Steinier chopping him in the chest in the corner. Big Biel out of the corner. Bennett talks about Aron "Shooter" Stevens' initials being ASS.

Steiner lands an overhead belly to belly and Stevens sells it with a deadman sitiup and it gets 2. Stevens lands a corner boot and uses the ropes for 2. Double axehandle leads to a flatliner  Recliner is on BUT THE QUESTION MARK CHOPS HIM FOR A DQ. Steinerline takes him down and a Recliner is on Question Mark before Stevens leaves.

Heel Flip Gordon is odd, but he looks great. "He turned his back on Lifeblood - which could be the best decision he ever made!" - Well yeah. Aldis avoids a suplex on the announce desk. Flip turns a hammerlock into a cover for 2. Flip's working like a guy who has a point to prove - good. Aldis gets a figure four with the rope as Bennett talks about how much history this move has in NWA World Title matches.

Flip reverses and Flip gets 2 off a moonsault. He goes up for a moonsault block, but Aldis kicks his legs out in the buckle. Super German hits and Flip moonsaults out. Aldis gets a tombstone and the perfect diving elbow gets 2.5 into a crucifix for 2. TWO SPRINGBOARD ECLIPSES hit for Gordon and only get 2. Bret-Owen WM X finish as Aldis counters a victory roll attempt and drops down to pin him.

Starks hits a pair of big lariats for 2. 619 to the arm of Murdoch. Nasty spill on the floor leads to Starks being a defacto face as he's now fighting from underneath. Corner walking powerbomb gets 2. Spear and the Stroke/Jay Driller gets it. Right guy wins it, but this was just a match. Starks is a good choice for the TV Champ - he's young and has a major league look with this red, black and gold gear with slick chains on it.

AEW Dynamite 1-22-20 - Bash at the Beach (ON A BOAT)

It's Dynamite ON A BOAT. Pretty hyped up for this show. AEW has done a tremendous job of making each Dynamite feel like an event unto itself. Pyro goes off as wind sends a bit of it into the crowd as they run down the card. Page and Omega face SCU in the opener for the tag titles.  This should be great. Tony brings up that Kenny and Page are coming out as indivisuals, while the champs are a unit.

A "cowboy shit" chant starts things off before Omega and Sky tie-up. Omega gets a long wristlock with wind blaring - it's kind of cool. It makes things seem so organic. Page lays out Kaz with a giant lariat out of the corner. Page wants a tag, but Omega's down thanks to Sky dropkicking his knee - but Page can't see that. Omega's in and his a snap rana and a snapdragon! Page and Omega land a pair of moonsaults and Omega gets 2 off a sky high.

V TRIGGER HITS, OWA is avoided by Sky. Page hits Omega with the buckshot accidentally before Sky hits a TKO for 2.9! The 60/40 split on the ad break makes it really had to see Omega avoid SCU's finish. Discus lariat hits Kaz and Page looks to him in the corner before eating a boot. Avalanche fallaway slam by Page!

Omega shoves Kaz into a Page German and a Snapdragon hits! JAY DRILLER ON KAZ GETS 2.9! SCULATER HITS BUT PAGE SAVES! Pop-up powerbomb by Page leads to a discus lariat to Kaz mid-ring. COWBOY SHIT WINS IT! Page and Omega are the second-ever AEW Tag Team Champions and this is the first title change in company history. The Bucks come out to celebrate, but Page turns his back to them slowly. Page leaves and then heads to the crowd to drink with the fans - so he's only being a prick to his friends, but not the fans. Page bodysurfs out with the fans. Okay now that's incredible.

Excalibur talks about Britt's change in attitude before Priscilla Kelly makes her AEW debut. Britt gets some sloppy cradles for 2. JR threatens us with a 20 minute time limit for an ad break. Nice jumping rider kick by Kelly to the back of Britt. Britt gets a slingblade after Kelly misses some lariats, which JR says is due to her being rattled by Britt. Jumping STO gets 2 for Kelly as random audio cutouts hit for a bit. Lockjaw ends it when Britt leaps off the rop to get mid-ring again.

Tony goes to Britt and says the ending may have been questionable. Britt says that this is his meal ticket and before this, he was at Starbucks - and was a shitty barista. Tonly mouths what the fuck and she says that SHE IS A ROLE MODEL AND THAT'S A FULL-TIME JOB. She's the most beautiful girl on the boat, she's smart, brilliant AND SHE'S A DENTIST!

Jericho-Jungle Boy is recapped before the Jurassic Express comes out with MARKO SCARED SHITLESS BY THE PYRO AND IN A LIFE VEST. God I hope it's kid's sized! PNP's out and JERICHO GETS HIS OWN THEME SUNG TO HIM. Wow. They even sing it when the song's off. Wow. This is like the best intro he's ever had. Jericho eats a bit of offense before tagging out. Crazy shit leads to another tag out and lots of trios offense - including a wind-up DDT thanks to some help that Marko celebrates by tossing his kid's life vest into the crowd.

Jericho gets cradled by Jungle Boy for 2. Ross calling Jack a modern-day Kevin Von Erich was great - ties the present and future into hte past nicely. Ortiz and his giant wacky fro hit a big splash to Jack for 2. SHINING LIZARD to Ortiz leads to a giant clonk headbutt and a tree fall sell. He runs wild on Jericho and gets 2 off a standing moonsault. Make Luchasaurus-Jericho ASAP! MARKO GETS A 450 ON JERICHO FOR 2.5! More cradles, but the Judas Effect kills him with death. This match got THE ENTIRE BABYFACE TEAM OVER, Jericho  more over, and Ortiz over huge. Tremendous.

A Cody-MJF video airs. MJF's out sans Wardlow, who is in training to face Joey Janela. Janela got ripped off and got some Bahamas hair braiding done. Thankfully, Jesus Chris forgives him for his sins at ringside. MJF uses cheap heel tactics before Joey brawls with him and backdrops him mid-ring where he does an ass-scoot sell. MJF uses Aubrey as a shield before he just forearms the shit out of Janela's jaw.

Holy shit, they come back right as MJF TAKES TWO BUMPS AND A FLIP BUMP off a single superplex. Dude is the fucking man! Joey goes up for the elbow, but Penelope and Sabian make out and MJF hits the Double Cross - which is the same as the Cross Rhodes, but it's a head drop in a nice little touch.MJF says that Cody is a goddamned genius rapper and last week, he said that MJF was a chapter in his book. HE'LL BE THE LAST GODDAMN ONE! Cody comes out and looks incredible with the wind blowing everything around.

MJF is a complete asshole to him and says that Cody can't lay a hand on him. He calls him "rollacodester" and drops the mic before giving it to him. Cody goes to get it, but MJF kicks it around. MJF gets an asshole chant and Cody says that and he can't touch him - but THEY CAN. CUE THE BUCKS! This leads to a muted "you fucked up" chant. MJF GETS THROWN INTO THE DRINK! This is tremendous stuff. It's so fun - if this was what WCW was in its post-'98 run, it would be around today. A Jericruise hype video airs.

Kenny and Page get an interview with Tony and Kenny says he could see himself as AEW Tag Champ a year ago, but not with Page - but he's his friend. Page gets talked over by Kenny - offering up Page a very valid reason to be pissed off. Kenny somewhat blows off the tag titles before Page starts his speech and the Bucks interrupt and Page says he's surprised they won them before the Bucks. I love the bits thrown in here where the Elite is really overlooking their "friend" Page by having Kenny blowing off the belts a bit with the Pac sub-feud and then the Bucks accidentally interrupting Page's promo.

Jericho comes out and is God incarnate for the crowd before Pac vs. Moxley to determine his next challenger. Moxley comes down from the top of the ship and Jericho says that Mox stole the car - but he paid the price with his eye. Okay, this muting is killing the flow of the audio completely. Fans just keep sweariing and it's hurting things. FLIP RELEASE GERMAN BY MOX!

The fans yelling "fuck your boat" in the boat next to the AEW boat should stifle now. "YOUR SHIP SUCKS" gets a nice chant from the AEW boat fans. A walk and brawl would make Jeff Jarrett happy. PAC lands a big missile dropkick, but nips up right into a big lariat. PAC fell down a flight of steps during the break. Okay, the FITE version needs to hit XWT soon because it's crazy how much this show loses with ad placement as it is.

Jawbreaker to the eye is called the orbital bone breaker by Jericho. Mox flips PAC off the top. Mox lands a flying elbow, but PAC gets the knees up and he goes for the Brutalizer. Mox gets a cradle out of it for 2. Kawada kicks to the eye of Mox. Black Arrow meets the knees and a cradle gets 2.9! Rope-snap German by PAC! Black Arrow misses and Mox gets color under the bandage to really sell things. Quick DDT gets 2 for Mox. Mox and PAC brawl on the floor and Ross brings up Moxley having to hang onto things to move around. Superplex into the Brutalizer! Mox gets the rope before the ref can call it - which Excalibur brings up is what cost Omega against PAC.

PAC takes the bandage off and gets a small package and a Death Rider before landing an elevated Death Rider to end it. THIS RULED! Moxley vs. Jericho is only five weeks away and it's been built up great. They've used their time between shows to build the rivalry, and now it's time to build the match up formally. Must-watch show overall.