Survivor Series 2017

"As Shawn Michaels put it, SURVIVOR SERIES IS THE ONE NIGHT A YEAR WHERE RAW AND SMACKDOWN GO HEAD TO HEAD IN COMPETITION!" So Shawn buries the verbiage and then gets that. Matt face Elias with maybe a few hundred folks in the building. Hammerlock on the apron leads to a Side Effect on the apron. Matt appears to be in agony with every step. Elias wins and JOINS THE FAVE FIVE! Kalisto comes out for his title match and gets stuck on the rope doing the reverse skin the cat. Well, it sucks to be Kalisto more than usual. Enzo has new realest champ boxer shirts and a wacky leopard-print robe and is just the best. He says he'll make beef stew outta Kalisto - even though he's chicken! Enzo retains and Kalisto is a goober.

Sami and KO come out for a pre-show match - quite the drop for KO. On the upside, THEY'RE FACING THE FASHION POLICE. Breezango are a great team, and Fandango is hilarious and calls Sami a paperboy. Sami and Kevins should make a citizens arrest of Breezango for all the littering with the tickets. Byron repeats the paperboy line and says "I'm just repeating what's already been said" - it's his life story. Pop-up powerbomb ends it - hooray for evil! A new generic brunette female human chats with AJ, who comes off like the man in this video package. 

YES! STEPH GETS PUT OVER STRONG IN THE SHOW-OPENING VIDEO AS GOD INTENDED. Oh yeah, JOHN CENA RETURNS TONIGHT. Wow has then not been hyped up in the slightest. Woods buries tumblr and says they'll show the world that they're the best. Kofi says the Shield is the hounds, but THEY GONNA GO BOB BARKER ON THEY ASSES! The BATTLE FOR BRAND SUPREMACY involves MANY MANY RECAP videos. Now we get all of the commentary teams on one show at all times. Jesus. Shield comes out to a big reaction. So Roman, of course, doesn't have to wrestle in the geek shirt.

Seth lariats Woods down.  Big buckle bomb by Seth leads to the jumping lariat by Roman for 2. Woods eats a Superman punch and Roman is back to being booed. SUPERKICK PARTY BY SETH! Double jump splash by New Day gets 2! DOUBLE MIDNIGHT HOUR! Reigns saves! Reigns hits a spear and then SUPER TRIPLE POWERBOMB! YES, HERE'S STEPH TO TIE THE TUBES OF THE FEMALE ROSTER! Steph demands NO MORE HUGS. Alicia has a new, more awesome hat.

TAMINA GETS NEW MUSIC. Still no reaction. Alicia and Becky start things off. Bayley schoolgirls Becky to eliminate her. Asuka is kicking the talent out of Tamina. Well, that didn't take long. Bayley tags herself in. TAMINA PINS BAYLEY. Ugh. Tamina and Nia are hyped up as family and "TWO WOMEN WHO HAVE NEVER MADE CONTACT BEFORE". They do mean guy spots and Tamina superkicks her to the floor where Naomi crossbodies her down before Tamina does it again and Nia is counted out. Naomi misses the moonsault and Alicia "hits" a Yakuza kick. Alicia counts three during a Naomi cradle, but then Naomi goes for the neckbar - so that was weird. Sasha cradles Naomi to beat her. Face full of stuff by Carmella. ASUKA GONNA KILL YOU! Kick of death takes her out. Sasha taps to the sharpshooter, leaving it 2 to 1 with Asuka against Nattie and Tamina. Armbar makes her tap. Bubba bomb into an Asuka lock ends it!

Steph and Bryan bicker a bit, she says Bryan putting Cena on his team was nepotism and he tells her that it's rich with HHH putting himself on Team Raw. Steph says that Raw left Shane in a pile of...pile. Okay. Baron's out and we get a German announcer recap. Miz gets fired up with Maryse in the crowd, so he's the face here. Axel's Raw-branded neck brace is tremendous. Cole hypes up Miz as the only man to be at every Survivor Series since 2011. WOW WHAT A STREAK. Cole hypes up WWE's social media stuff. Bo eats an End of Days and Miz gets 2 off a distraction cradle. End of Days pins Miz after the yes kicks. Well this sucked. Renee interviews Baron who says that his hand went up and Miz's mouth went shut.

Charlotte is the star of the Clash of Champions ad. Bayley goes ring shopping with a fan. The Bar comes out. Usos looking fly as fuck in the white gear. Sheamus and Cesaro showing Raw pride in the red and white is great. Usos cut a promo about BARS that is awesome. Usos are perfect babyfaces here. Love Cole saying that Sheamus is underrated after rattling off his WWE Accomplishments. "Think about The Brand, not The Universe!" - human beings talking as humans do. Nasty backdrop into the buckle by Cesaro gets 2. SAMOAN DROP SUPERKICK COMBO! CESARO SWING! SHARPSHOOTER! BROGUE TO JIMMY! JEY GETS TO THE ROPES! Damn - Cesaro sat down on that too. SPRINGBOARD SPIKE WHITE NOISE GETS 2. Cesaro goes for a doomsday device, but Jey hits a super Samoan drop off of it! SUPERKICK PARTY! USO CRAZY DIVE BONKS HIM INTO THE TABLE AND THE DIVE ENDS IT. USOS RULE.

Charlotte's out to face Alexa. Alexa dropkicks her into the steps in a nice spot. Charlotte goes for a slam, but Bliss gets a sorta-inverted DDT for 2. Code red and a rana get 2 for Bliss. Alexa gets a front choke, but Charlotte Batista bombs her for 2. Natural Selection gets 2. Alexa hits a punch and the snap DDT, but the ref has wide angle lenses for eyes and sees a foot on the rope. Charlotte gets a spear and a double-down. Alexa "eats" a boot that misses by a mile and the Figure 8 ends it. Brock vs. AJ BEFORE THE HHH MATCH. Of course. AJ comes out and we get a pre-taped Jinder promo about how he's rooting for AJ - so he's getting involved at the finish. Heyman does his great promo for Brock as THE ULTIMATE TITLE HOLDER.

Brock bullies AJ in the corner and Biels him! BELLY TO BELLY! GERMAN SENDS HIM INTO THE ROPE! AJ gets ragdolled over the top and damn is he a perfect foe for Brock. Giant lifting German! Giant running knee to the corner! He goes for it again, but eats the buckle and a dropkick to the knee and a DDT give AJ a brief bit of life. AJ goes for a tornado DDT, but Brock just flops down on his back and there goes that. He hits a kneeling Pele!  P1 FOREARM MEETS A FLIPOVER GERMAN! AJ backdrops him and Brock hits the apron. Brock's knee slams into the steps and mid-ring, AJ hits an enzuiguri. LIONSAULT HITS! SPRINGBOARD 450 GETS 2.5! CLASH INTO THE F5 INTO THE CALF CRUSHER! BROCK SMASHES HIS HEAD INTO THE MAT LIKE A BASKETBALL. Um, that's stupid. AJ pops him with a sick overhand forearm strike and the P1 FOREARM GETS 2.9! AJ takes the pad off and goes for another one, but THE F5 HITS AND ENDS IT. THIS RULED!

Kurt comes out with new blue and white stars MMA gloves and a ton of leg tape. Balor gets a lot out of the "first Universal Champion" moniker. HHH in Raw-inspired Sons of Anarchy biker gear is hilarious. Bobby Roode is main eventing a WWE main roster PPV. Well kinda. Sure beats facing Dolph Ziggler in the second match on a card. Corey calls Byron Phillps and Byron corrects him in one the funniest bits. Red and black is now blue and black for SD for Nakamura. Cena has neon green and purple. What the hell, did he get a rejected Naomi design or something? Byron talks about Cena "returning to SmackDown" despite him BEING ON SMACKDOWN since the last draft outside of the Reigns-Cena rivalry.

Shane jumps Braun from behind and gets beaten up before he tags out. Joe comes in to face Orton. Joe avoids an RKO, Orton avoids the choke. Balor in all-red kinda works. Orton tags in Nak. Cole says "HERE COMES SHIN!" Balor pushes him in the corner and 2 sweets his forehead to boos. HHH tags in to face Nakamura, and Cole says that HHH is responsible for him being in WWE. Booker says that HHH is going to teach this kid a lesson. Nakamura is like five years younger than HHH. HHH botches his facebuster.

HHH VS. ROODE! Cole makes sure to give all credit to HHH for Roode's success. HHH HITS THE SPINEBUSTER! HHH does the suck it bit and eats a spinebuster. Glorious DDT is countered into a pedigree into the DDT and then HHH throws him in the corner for a tag to Kurt. Suplex city to Roode. Double-down off a double lariat. Nakamura goes in and attacks Kurt. Nak is gone and Braun conquers Roode. HHH and Angle argue. Orton and Cena team up to send Braun outside. ALL OF TEAM SMACKDOWN HELPS CENA AND ORTON TO DOUBLE SUPLEX BRAUN THROUGH AN ANNOUNCE TABLE. Shane goes up to jump through him, but Joe hits a super belly to belly.

Cena and Joe go at it and Byron brings up their history in California. ST-Joe leads to Balor getting tagged in, Joe tagging himself in and eating an AA. AA to Balor and another AA pins Joe. Angle comes in and they play it up as Cena's first match in WWE. Mid-ring slugfest! Ankle lock and an ANGLE SLAM GETS 2 THANKS TO SHANE. BALOR DOUBLE STOMPS CENA! ANGLE SLAM BEATS CENA! Balor hits the shotgun  kick and goes for the double stomp, but Orton avoids and an RKO HITS AND ENDS IT FOR BALOR! HHH jumps Orton with a rabbit lariat. Cole talks about the history of HHH and Orton. Kurt goes up top for no go reason and gets crotched. KO and Sami jump Shane! Of course Shane makes his own one-man comeback against two men. He swings the chair a ton and KO preps for headshots, but eats back and gut ones. Braun powerslams Orton and takes him out.

HHH and Shane square off. Shane cradles Kurt for 2 and gets 2 off a Russian legsweep. Standing flying elbow gets 2 for Shane. Floatover DDT gets 2. Kurt rips the shirt and shows his new top-heavy singlet and gets the ankle lock. HHH comes in and pedigrees Angle. So it's the McMahons versus everyone and of course, the McMahons must win! And HHH pedigrees Shane to win it and make both men "sole survivors". Braun looks on angrily - HHH is gonna get quite a powerslamming and is probably facing Braun at Rumble, or at some non-WM show. BRAUN THROTTLES HIM and tells him he'll never play the game again if he crosses him again! HHH goes to cheapshot him - BUT EATS THE POWERSLAM. Okay, so in the end, youth actually won it sorta. Another powerslam and this will be the moment on the Braun WWE 24 doc in a few years that they point to as THE MOMENT for Braun Strowman.

NXT Takeover War Games

The pre-show features an awesome video on the War Games hype. Ellering beinig with AOP pays off wonderfully here with him talking about how hard the first one was. A historical war video package sets off the show. Mauro, Nigel, and Percy call the action. Kassius Ohno comes out in a great-looking blue and black getup. Lars Sullivan gets this new Kane-esque intro bathing him in red. Lars eats a corner elbow but FEELS NOTHING! Knocks him down off a huge shoulderblock! Another one off the apron sends Ohno down, and a giant lariat off a nip up makes Lars look even more like a monster. Lars nails him with a pop-up powerslam and goes up top and the diving headbutt misses. Rabbit elbows hit for Ohno before a cyclone kick gets 2. Lars eats some kicks and WANTS MORE! Sullivan eats a discus elbow, but he hits the Freak Accident to win it! This ruled!

Undisputed Era meets backstage and we get a recap of the Velveteen Dream vs. Black rivalry. Black's intro is candle-filled and perfect, while Velveteen is still missing something. Rude-esque tights for Velveteen tonight as they're airbrushed with he and his opponent on them. This match started with Black as the face, but Dream turned face throughout it due to the size difference and due to him really just being a likeable asshole. We get a great spot of the Indian style sit and then a faceoff. Dream puts him in the rope and demands he say his name, but Dream still can't get what he wants.

 Quebrada gets 2 for Black, but the CARTWHEEL DEATH VALLEY DRIVER GETS 2 AFTER HE EATS A KICK! This is an awesome showcase for Dream! Black hits a giant knee, but Dream HITS A SPIKE DDT FOR 2.9! This is being given a chance and fucking MAKING THE MOST OF IT. Velveteen Dream's gimmick isn't five stars, but this match sure as shit is. Purple Rainmaker is countered with a boot and he gets knocked into the Andre position he used on Black. BLACK ATTACKS, BUT EATS A SUPERKICK, AND THEN A KNEE STRIKE HITS! BLACK MASS ENDS IT! Holy shit this ruled! Black wins it and gives Dream what he wanted - he said his name!

 

Asuka, Balor, and Funaki are at ringside. Well, that's just odd. NXT women's title match is up. KAIRI HAS A REVAMPED THEME. BOO-URNS! Ember hits a weird headscissors takeover. Sloppy kicks and a neckbreaker get 2 for Peyton and then Kairi. Ember and Nikki hit a pair of huge telegraphed shots and then Ember takes her out with a powerbomb on the floor. Sane hits the big elbow on Royce, but covers Nikki and Ember makes a save for 2. DOUBLE ECLIPSE TO THE HEELS AND EMBER WINS IT! Asuka was the best - and now Ember is the Best of the Rest Champion. Asuka and Regal put Ember over as champion, with Asuka stealing the show with her body language.  Ember still feels like a Best of What's Left champion.

Joe and Owens are in the crowd and we get a Drew-Almas hype video. Zelina comes off so great in video packages - not so much in live promos though. Almas's theme is awesome! Drew comes down in a kilt, which looks cool. The theme is still not great though. Mauro just compared Drew to Super Mario Odyssey somehow. Almas steps to Drew before standing behind Vega. Ha! Almas gets 1 off a neckbreaker/Nightmare on Helms Street thing. Drew gets 2 off the celtic cross while a "3MB" chant hits. Rewind reana is met with an INVERTED ALABAMA SLAM! Drew goes up for a lariat, but eats a springing dropkick. Drew goes for a powerbomb on the post, but Zelina prevents it and ranas him into the post. A BIG MOONSAULT HITS AND GETS 2.5! Future Shock hits for 2, and a shotgun knee gets 2 for Almas. ZELINA HITS A SPIKE RANA! HAMMERLOCK DDT HITS FOR 2.9! Almas flips off the Claymore before Vega...sorta puts the foot on the rope but not really for 2. Claymore misses by nine miles. SPIKE HAMMERLOCK DDT ENDS IT! ALMAS WINS THE TITLE!

Mauo puts War Games over as the brainchild of Dusty Rhodes. Dustin and Arn are at ringside. The rules are recapped and it's a shame they have changed the time limits by letting two people in at once, but I guess it does streamline things. EY plays the role of Eaton to start things off - as it should. He can be the glue throughout it all. I like the shark cages being at the entranceway, even if it was a bit odd for guys to just agree to stand in those. Era guys mock Sanity in the cages. Adam Cole starts things off for his team.ADAM COLE BAYBAY would be so cool if they could've lined up those signs perfectly behind him.

Strong is in AOP cosplay gear. Okay, they need to nix this "one night partners do cosplay" deal. Strong starts things off and takes the vest off. Strong plays a face in peril and does this even more when the Era comes in after the first five minute period. Strong eats a ton more offense before AOP runs down! BIEL FROM RING 1 TO RING 2 TO COLE BAYBAY! AOP RUN WILD! SANITY RUNS IN. Wolfe brings in a billy club, so Daine brings in more weapons. Daine hits a big dive and gets 2. Damo hits a big Michinoku driver for 2 and then a Samoan drop/fallaway slam before Akam hits a giant powerslam for 2. FLYING ELBOW! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON AKAM FROM EY! RING TO RING SUPER COLLIDER!

DOUBLE TOWERS OF DOOM! And Cole stands on his perch!  Cole goes to leave, but AOP stops him and crotches him before setting up the table. DAINE GOES COAST TO COAST! Strong and Cole are up top and tease a superplex to a "please don't die" chant. SUPERPLEX TO THE PILE MID-RING! LAST CHAPTER ON THE MID-RING STEEL! Cole beats EY to win this craziness,

SD Live 11-14-17

Shane delivers a sermon to the roster and says they won't be the B show - they'll be THE SHOW. We get a goofy SMACK-DOWN LIVE singalong. Bryan talks about how they love to treat their champions right, and how Raw's CHAMPION OF THE UNIVERSE has his own advocate - so he offers AJ his own personal advocate too. AJ cuts an intense promo and New Day faces Sami and KO. Baron beats Sin Cara to face Miz at the PPV. HHH's burial of Jordan is shown. Charlotte comes out to face Nattie. Nattie locks on a great surfboard, but Charlotte uses his legs to power out and chop away. Charlotte gets a deep crotch lifting suplex into the corner...sorta. Charlotte goes for a moonsault on the floor, but Nattie powerbombs her on the post. Nattie gets the sharpshooter, but Charlotte counters and wins with the Figure 8 before celebrating with Ric! That ruled! They played his theme and she either had no idea, or is a damn fine actor. This would have been a great ending to the 30 for 30.

They strutted together and for one night, Charlotte was Flair country - only now it's Charlotte Flair country. Bludgeon Brothers do a wacky promo. Usos say that the mouthpiece won't protect Cesaro from a superkick. We get a rundown of all the teams they've locked down and we get a great Jimmy vs. Gable match with an apron PK and superkick ending it. New Day and Sami/KO have a fine match until Raw invades. The Shield comes down with half-Raw and half-Shield shirts. We get a repeat of the Under Siege stuff, only with Raw as the aggressors. Shane eats the Shield bomb twice. And also, Roman and Braun are now united for BRAND LOYALTY.

WWF Summerslam 1991

This was one of the first VHS tapes I ever got in '93 when I became a fan, and I could watch this show for ages. With the passing of Bobby Heenan, and the wayback playback on this show, I might as well enjoy it once again. Vince's narration gives us a peek into Mr. McMahon and we go to Piper, Gorilla, and Bobby Heenan. The Dragon, the Texas Tornado, and the British Bulldog are out with Ricky doing the fire stuff. Slick leads his team of Warlord and Power and Glory down. Davey is absolutely enormous here. Ditto Warlord, Roma, and Herc. Herc is pale with a giant roid gut, but his arms are massive.

Ricky gets a nice middle-rope armdrag on Roma. Roma gets a nice back elbow and slugs away in the corner. Power and Glory's gear is fine and Roma in long tights works better for him. Kerry runs wild on Herc for a bit. Davey and Warlord charge into each other before Ricky hits a diving chop. Ricky goes for a corner monkey flip, but Warlord hangs on and Ricky bonks his head. Roma hits a big lariat on Ricky before getting the triple backbreaker. Herc slams him and then Warlord slams him before being a great bully before Herc stun guns him. Warlord attacks him and we get some classic work with Ricky begging on his knees and then getting a few shots in. Warlord misses a flying nothing off the second rope. Davey comes in and Kerry hits a tornado punch on Warlord. Crossbody off the top wins it and gets a huge pop.

Sean Mooney interviews Perfect and "Coach" John Tolos. Perfect looks young, while John Tolos looks like a young 70 year old. Well, it's a payday for him I guess. Shockingly, just having Tolos be "wrestling legend John Tolos" and put him over would have been better. Helen, Stu, and Bruce are in the crowd. Tolos catches the towel, and Hennig actually jumps over the top rope despite being in a lot of pain. Tieup starts things off before Hennig eats a crossbody. Hart lands some big punches in the corner and slams him down. Big flip bump to the floor off a lariat. Yeah, he's all painkillered up. Hennig punts the ribs and knocks Bret into a photographer who no-sells it.

They brawl on te floor for a bit and Curt climbs up top for some reason and punches Bret down into  a skewer. NICE swing into a sleeper by Curt and a crucifix is countered into a Samoan drop by Hennig. Curt is sent into the post leg-first and eats a suplex. Small package gets 2. RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! Rolling cradle gets 2 and Hennig takes a big bump to the floor. Well, he knows he's done and really this is his final truly great classic. Coach eats a bump on the apron and Bret gets crotched with a rope kick. Curt kicks the gut before going for a legdrop, which works, and then gets countered into a sharpshooter to crank it. Curt attacks and Bret takes the singlet off.

Bret hugs the family and Stu says...something. An ad airs for a Hot Ticket - which wasn't on the VHS. It's a Hogan documentary of some sort. Bushwackers are with Andre and we see Earthquake take his knee out. The Bushwackers are just terrible, but hey, they got paid for a long time off this. The faces run wiild and march. Typhoon locks Butch in an overhead backbreaker and then Quake does a bearhug with no tag. Misue leads to Quake hitting Typhoon. One of the whackers gets sandwiched and squashed by Quake. LOD comes down to help Andre, and get a huge pop too. 

Ted and Sherri are awesome evil-doers. Now we get a slave video. Virgil gets kissed by Piper and pulls Ted's tights down before beating him up in the corner. Virgil sends him outside a bunch to get some pops. Virgil misses pescado and takes a great bump for it. Virgil is down for a long time, and it's amazing to see something sold in a wrestling match. Virgil eats the steps and makes a great face in peril. This is a great story of the rookie in the story getting an edge, but the cagey veteran knowing the tricks. Ted's fistdrop is so perfect. Ted hits a double sledge. Virgil gets the million dollar dream so Sherri hits him with her purse to make it a DQ so Ted can retain. HOWEVER, the ref will just eject her and allow it to continue! Piper is just great here as the ultimate hype man for Virgil. Ten shots in the corner works for Virgil.

Corner mount punches work perfectly too. Ref gets do-see-doe bumped in the corner. Ted talks shit to Piper, which gets him livid. Big suplex hits for Ted. Another big ones hits. The piledriver gets Ted a visual pin. Ted slaps the ref and teases one more - but first, he stalls and takes the pad off the buckle. Ted talks shit, but Virgil smashes him into the buckle twice and we get a double down. Virgil gets the win! We get a recap of the Mountie-Bossman feud with Mountie backstage with the cops. Mountie is just such a perfect ham - it's great. Bossman cuts a great promo on Mountie for insulting cops and reminds him that he's the law and order of the WWF.

Mountie has this really serene theme that is great. Bossman runs down and comes in to kick ass. We've got two men with black slacks with a yellow stripe and one in powder blue against red. Jimmy Hart's airbrushed jacket is perfectly '91. Bossman punches him out and does the rope avalanche. Bossman catches him, carries him around and does a constant thumbs down before dropping him. Now that's awesome too. Mountie hits a jumping back elbow. Mountie gets a jumping elbow for 2. Mountie hits a dropkick and elbows his jaw. Mountie hits a slow piledriver. Mountie goes to shock him, but Bossman uppercuts him and the stick goes flying. Double leapfrog by Mountie leads to a Bossman uppercut and the Bossman slam gets 2! This is shocking and it gets a huge pop. Mountie trips him. Mountie goes for another piledriver, but AN ALABAMA SLAM ENDS IT! The cops take him back and Bossman drags him around. Mountie is chewing the scenery up and it's glorious. I'M THA MOUNTIE! We get a multi-camera shoot for him leaving and it's all done perfectly.

Piper has a great line about finally liking the sound of sirens. Ted and Sherri lose their minds over the title loss. Sean Mooney chats with Bret and Jimmy Hart goes to Gene with the Disasters and is BACK IN HIS GETUP FOR THEM while Quake has taken his top down. He should never have done that. John Tenta IS ONLY 28 HERE and looks 45. Bossman says that JAILBIRDS CAN'T FLY. Savage is with Gene in his form white and gold wedding tights, as ya do. They hype up the wedding and run down what we have to go. Bobby teases a heel turn by Sid because they haven't heard from him tonight.

Mountie arrives at the jail and Mountie is still complaining before getting loaded into jail for step one of things. This is a great show-long angle. Nasty Boys are angry about LOD and Tunney COAGULATING for the rules.  WE GO BACK TO THE JAIL where they act like the Bossman is there to get him to show his face for his photo. Oh this is tremendous. Jimmy says this is an invasion of privacy and we go to the LOD hyping things up. There is a TON of filler here, but it's all actually building to things so it doesn't feel like it. Hawk cuts a great coked-up promo with his usual WELLLL to start it off. Mountie is having his prints taken, they ask for the finger and he gives them the finger. Awesome stuff and pretty edgy for a '91 show.

Sean interviews the evil Sgt. Slaughter group. Sid is in a ref tanktop next to Gene all roided up. We get footage of him talking to the Iraqis and he says he promised them nothing. Nasties are out to face the LOD. LOD jumps them with the spikes on and sends them packing. Kneeling powerbomb by Animal STARTS THINGS OFF for 2. Hawk and Sags stagger around before an enzuiguri. Tray of drinks to the back of Hawk. Hawk sells and sells and the crowd dies. Animal tags in and runs wild and powerslams Knobbs. Nasties use the helmet, so Hawk grabs it and bonks everyone before the Doomsday Device ends it. These are the deep gold versions of the belts too. Back at the jail, Mountie tries to leave before getting thrown into his cell.

IRS is mid-ring to face Greg Valentine. Now this should be at a glacial pace, but if we're lucky, it'll move up to slow and plodding. Greg stands around while Gorilla recaps the entire event. Greg FIRES PU with a slow lariat. IRS's mullet is something else. Greg is actually slim here. Abdominal stretch with the ropes! IRS goes up, but Greg sends him down. IRS jams his knee into the buckle and sets up the figure four. Big elbow hits and the figure four is locked on, but he gets the ropes. Greg pulls him off the rope and lands a shin breaker. IRS headbutts the balls and cradles him to win. Hogan cuts this amazing promo about being WWF Champion in '84 and winning it in MSG. Oh, and hey, there's Warrior too! He gets to talk about Warrior Wildness. That sounds like a disease.

Sid comes down and does the Brock jump to the apron. Adnan had an incredible story that Jim Valley talks about where he was Saddam's cousin and Adnan wrestled in state-funded shows to beat guys like Andre before leaving as soon as possible. VLAD MARKS OUT OVER SEEING HOGAN! This has become an iconic Hogan intro due to how much it's been repeated, and the hulkster bandanna is great. Gorilla puts Hogan as the biggest WWF Champion of all-time. Well fuck you Warrior. Hogan and Sarge goes through the motions. Hogan hits a double sledge off the second rope. We get a double down and Sid counts. Warrior chases the goons to the back and Hogan tosses powder in Sarge's face and drops the leg to win.

Sid gets the call to pose with Hogan and makes some hilarious faces the whole time. Hogan strips his tanktop off to show off his body. They do the posing and Hogan puts him over huge with all of this. Sid is THE MAN here and he's made. We go back to the Mountie, with his cellmate who "really loves the way leather feels against his body". Now to be fair, Mountie was warned by the cellmate's bitch to be quiet or he'd make him mad - so yeah, this was odd to see in 2017. We see the wedding setup. The super-sappy wedding song is changed out because they don't own the rights. Well that sucks.

The slow-mo shot of Honky stopping to avoid hitting Savage with a guitar is hilarious since his rolls are jiggling. Savage's giant feather is great and there's even a fountain mid-ring. A wrestling wedding is headlining a PPV, which is amazing. The wedding is done and they don't show the Coliseum Video of the Jake and Taker attack. Well that's a shame.