It's F4W Board watchalong time! Steamboat and Douglas face Barry and Dustin for the titles, and RUDE FACES STING IN THE KING OF CABLE TOURNEY! Paul E faces Madusa and Johnny B faces Scotty Flamingo in a boxing match. We get the weigh ins with Madusa and Paul before they throw to BILL WATTS who talks about of course, Erik and we see Pillman play fake babyface with a bum wheel and then beats up Brad in the most 1992 sweater ever. IT'S ON! He takes his knee out with a crutch and Pillman chopblocks the knee to end it. TREMENDOUS.
We get a recap of Madusa's face turn and she beats the shit out of a guy in training. Madusa vs. PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY is getting a better build than anything we've seen all year. Heyman does pushups on a guy and the Alliance gives him an easy win. Heyman talks shit and the Alliance leaves him without him knowing and Heyman says Madusa will be sacrificed to the LORD AND MASTER OF MANHOOD, PAUL E DANGEROUSLY! Anderson and Eaton face Kensuke Sasaki and GODDAMMIT MOTHER OF FUCK ERIK WATTS!
HAYES IS RUNNING FASTER THAN I'VE SEEN IN AT LEAST 15 WATCHALONGS! It must be the power of fear over THE SON OF THE COWBOY WALKING TALL! Watts runs wild on everyone because hey, his dad's the booker so fuck it, just sell. STF makes Eaton tap out, and to be fair to Erik, he did a nice monkey flip into a ground and pound and his STF looked good.
At least Erik's STF isn't awful. Johnny B's gear is good. And so are his trunks. Can't wait to see what Scott's wearing. If anything can out-1992 Pillman's sweater, it's that. Vinnie Vegas cuts an awful promo hyping up Scotty while Legally Not Don King...appears to be recreating the Ring King BJ deal. Jesse hypes up that Johnny beat RAZOR RUDDICK as an amateur while Ross lusts after the ring girl.
Johnny jabs him to the floor before Vinnie distracts and Johnny lariats and boots him! They load up Scotty's glove with water and BOOM he nails him! THAT'S IT!? JOHNNY LOSES HIS SPECIALTY MATCH!? Well that's one way to build a babyface. BATTLEBOWL EXPLANATION! Lethal lottery hype with Johnny and Cactus facing Spivey and Van Hammer! Ron Simmons and the unnamed Too Cold Scorpio face off with Tony Atlas in sweats, Cactus Jack, and Barbarian. We get a lot of plodding from Tony with and a 450 from Scorp to Tony ends it. Well, that's who should win this one and who should lose it.
Ron puts over his secret weapon - TOO COLD SCORPIO! He gives Ron props for giving him the shot tonight. WCW felt so far ahead of the WWF athletically in '92 and '93 thanks to Scorpio. Z-MAN AND JOHNNY GUNN ZZ Top video airs with generic ZZ Top-ish music. This is right out of Memphis in '86 and they did a great job with a ZZ Top ripoff. Would've been nice if they could've made more than like 20 seconds of music for it tho. Rude looks 20 years older without the 'stache. JESSE VENTURA ARM WRESTLING TOURNEY RECAP!
"It is set for FIVE MINUTES IN LENGTH!" How have Jesse and JR not at least cracked 15 jokes at this? Paul E. knocks out someone dressed as Madusa with his phone. He KOs Mike Thor after saying HE WANTS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE LOCKER ROOM GETS - a kiss. Madusa jumps him and sends him down with a kick. She kicks Hayes on the apron. Hayes has worked harder tonight on the sidelines than he has on any watchalong show yet. Paul runs away and she carries him back. Hayes trips her and Heyman kicks her. AXEHANDLE AFTER A POSE and Madusa is just up and slugs him. MISSILE DROPKICK! He bails showing off his bald spot at 26. "Madusa looked very proficient at pulling his pants off!" They missed the shot before and now we see him hitting Thor.
KING OF CABLE TOURNEY RECAP! ANOTHER TOURNAMENT RECAP. CMLL would be proud. VADER BEATS TONY ATLAS! Vader and Harley talk about him holding more World titles than anyone alive or dead. Larry, Hiro, and Ole are the judges for Sting vs. Rude. Ole is Ole and looks pissed at the world and Rude cuts a promo on these STING-LOVING SLEAZEBAGS AND BOW TO YOUR KING OF CABLE!
Rude goes up for a gut buster and Sting...misses the gut. Nails it the second time around. Sting STALLS and Jesse should be talking about Larry should love that. Jesse notes that Sting is working on the ribs and Larry takes a note of that and definitely not a girl in the front row with daddy issues. Rude's overhand-style clubbing punches are great. Rude gets a gordbuster on the rope and he gets hung up and STING SOCCER KICKS HIM. This is something Fenix needs to steal ASAP. Rude gets a camel clutch, but misses a hip drop after hitting a few!
Rude locks on a bearhug! We get some stalling and Rude gets a few knees and wants the Rude Awakening, but the stinger splash hits and scorpion is locked on as time runs out. So underlying it, Rude's knees ACTUALLY WORKED at stalling the clock and preventing Sting's win. OLE IS THE DECIDING VOTE AND gives Sting the win! Rude jumps him and eats an atomic drop.
Steamboat and Shane are out and Shane's in a dreadful jacket. Now, I'm sure he's cutting a promo on getting his tailor's ass franchised for not CUTTING THE FUCKING JACKET! THE LIGHTS GO OUT because either It's WCW or someone hit a transformer. I love the joy that Jesse takes in knowing that SOMEONE will cheat. It keeps you glued to that one point if nothing else. Dustin and Shane tie-up in the corner while Ross talks about how these young men love to follow the rules. God, what pussies! I'm shocked they aren't making each other s'mores mid-ring. Doe-see-doe armdrags and they miss dropkicks.
Steamboat and Barry are in. Awkward hiplock to the floor by Steamboat to Barry. Dustin works on Shane before we get DUSTIN VS. STEAMBOAT! Dustin gets 2 off a sloppy small package. Dustin goes low on a leapfrog and it's a great move in a babyface vs. babyface match - with Dustin not going for a pin and Barry is pissed. Barry's in and gets an inverted atomic drop and Steamboat's selling on it is PERFECT. Dustin comes in and Barry slugs him leading to SHANE BELLY TO BELLYING BARRY TO END IT. Shane and Steamboat win it and Barry's a heel! Dustin and Barry argue and BARRY KICKS HIM AND SLUGS HIM! DDT! We get a great promo from Ricky Steamboat and also Shane Douglas is there too.
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