Show starts off with the US Title 3 way. Roode's random spinning around is odd. Baron slowly clubs away while they yammer on about how Roode wants to restore history to the US Title. Dolph gets 2 off a famouser. Holy Jesus did this slow to a death crawl with Baron dominating everything. Crowd seems unusually hot for Bobby Roode. DON'T THEY SEE HOW TALL BARON IS!? Tower of Doom to Roode. Roode avoids sweet chin music and hits a spinebuster. Dolph avoids the glorious DDT and hits a jumping DDT. Baron runs into the post and then darts into the ropes and goes to the floor - stop blindly charging. Roode hits the DDT on Dolph, but Baron pulls him out. End of Days to Roode while DOLPH HITS THE ZIG ZAG AND WINS IT. Has to be his first win of the year.
DBryan is being an asshole and Shane...looks completely ridiculous. Baron Von Sad Tummy is angry. Aiden English sings about Rusev! Rusev Day is hugely over and gets a giant chant. 3 UNHINDERED JINDERS! Aiden is great. Usos are amazing with their street rap. Lots of cradles get 2 before a brawl. Assisted dive to the floor. USO DIVE AND THEN THE RUN-UP BELLY TO BELLY HITS. Kofi just floored Gable with Rich Swann's finish. Yeah I wouldn't expect him back ever. Lots of waiting around to do stuff. Gable locks on a cloverleaf, but eats a fireman carry spinebuster for 2. Accolade is on Gable. So logically, why isn't Woods just hitting him with the trombone since it's a four way and he won't get his team DQed? Machka kick to E! ACCOLADE TO E, BUT GABLE GERMANS HIM! CHAOS THEORY TO E! Superkick party and the splash end it for the Usos.
Long promo for Nattie-Charlotte. EVERY LUMBERJACK GETS AN INTRO. Lana and Carmella having the same kind of gear is A-okay. Liv looks like she's cosplaying as Mandy Rose here. Not a good look for her. Neckbreaker and a yakuza kick get 2 for Charlotte. Charlotte lands some sloppy offense in the corner. Naomi hits a springboard dive on the heel lumberjacks. None of this is a DQ or even a call by the ref to do anything. MORE RANDOM BRAWLING leads to a cash-in tease. So Carmella's plan, HER BEST CHANCE TO WIN, would logically be to do it with five billion people on the outside - brilliant! Moonsault to the floor means NOTHING in the story of the match within three seconds...so why do it? Nattie just posted her and made that the focus. Figure 8. Nattie going for an Aloha Arn on her back - that's now how that works! Charlotte retains. Thank God that's over. Holy Jesus is Nattie a terrible talker and she talks about carrying it for 10 years and leaves and cries. What the fuck ever.
The Singhs are interviewed.Tyler is legit wearing Torrie Wilson's gear. As did Billy Gunn when he was on his downswing in TNA. The INTERNATIONAL ANNOUNCE TEAMS are introduced during Breezango's intro. Bludgeon brothers destroy them. THE FUTURE HOLDS MORE BLUDGEONING! THE END OF THE BEGINNING. THE BEGINNING OF THE END. KO and Sami are interviewed. So they're teasing a Danielson heel turn with their usual idea of subtle - so it'll be a swerve and Shane will turn on Bryan. Recap video time already - so it might be time for the tag match. Orton's hair is some kind of ridiculous.
We get every SD tag match main event ever. Knees up for the senton. Running frog splash from table to table through announce table. Shane berates Bryan for not counting 3 on KO and I was hoping for a KICK HIS FUCKING HEAD IN chant. Silly back and forth cradle counts...for some reason. Shane screws Sami on a count, so Bryan fast-counts Sami and gives them a win off a schoolboy. Jesus. This finish is getting more replays than the Zapruder film. And of course the overarching story is WHAT WILL THE MCMAHON DO TO SHOW THE WORKING CLASS HOW MUCH BETTER HE IS.
Jinder's prayer rug game is on-point. Dude needs some Clearasil tho, and to work on his arms. Tom says that Jinder injected himself...into the Styles-Brock match. After what feels like several hours of exciting RIB-BASED OFFENSE, including a bodyscissors, AJ just throws himself around to do something. AJ hits a springboard 450 and the Singhs save him. AJ kicks out of the khallas. Jinder goes for the Clash, but AJ locks on the calf crusher and Jinder taps. That was indeed a match. Corey says THIS IS A BATTLE WE WILL NOT SOON FORGET.
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