Saturday, May 5, 2018

Impact Wrestling and Wrestling Revolver - PENTA DOES IOWA

So this is a neat little surprise show. It's a bit out of nowhere, and they apparently had a wacky Twitch stream thing before the show. Jason Cade hits a codebreaker for 2. APRON DVD BY SHANE STRICKLAND. Swerve stomp hits on the floor leads to an Ibushi knee strike for 2. Famous B distracts Strickland, who eats a super Celtic Cross and then Black Magic ends it. Josh hypes up a triple threat tag next. The Dirty, Zero Gravity, and the Night Ryderz are out. They look like a dime store version of War Machine, and Josh says they should win since he likes the beginning of their theme. The teams get name graphics, but not the individuals. Sonjay marks out over every single thing the Night Ryderz do. This is a match of a billion moves. Snap German sets up a double stomp from the Ryderz for 2.5 and the Dirty wins it.


Taya vs. Jessicka Havok is up, and Josh says people don't think Taya could just be a future Knockouts champion - but a future multi-time champion. So apparently, her biggest fans can't imagine her going on a winning streak. Now, Josh and Sonjay are talking off-mic, but can still be heard complaining about the audio. Havok and Taya have a really sloppy match - with Havok missing a corner hip attack by a mile before Taya lands the shotgun knees. Havok chops her on the post before missing one, giving Taya a chance to rebound. Apron slapfest leads to a double big boot. Taya gets set up top and eats a Final Cut before a face wash hits. Taya schoolgirls her to counter a tombstone and wins.



The Open Invite Title is on the line and Gringo Loco is out along with a billion guys - and Rich Swann. "All Night Long" is played briefly before they just opt to have Rich sing it. And then the stream dies. Swann wins with a phoenix splash and wins the Open Scramble title. Intermission leads to an Impact recap video. Sonjay and Josh talk for a while.

The Manscout Jake Manning is out to face Tommy Dreamer in 2018. Josh says that Tommy told him to tell people he's 47 and he loves wrestling as much as he can now. Jake says that unfortunately, he hasn't signed for a House of Hardcore match. He signed for a regular match and it's just a mistake - like when Paul Heyman didn't sign your checks in ECW! Ha! Tommy says it's great the scouts are letting women like him in - even if he's the ugliest woman Balls ever had sex with.



TOMMY OUTWRESTLES JAKE MANNING! A woman, kid, and another kid chop Manning on the floor. Cutter outtanowhere for 2 for Tommy. ECW baseball slide dropkick is turned into the HOH dropkick. Dreamer's DDT gets 2. Tommy goes into the ladder and a double arm DDT gets 2. Manning does a trust fall off the ladder for 2. Jake brings a temt in the ring and a "let's go camping!" chant breaks out before he kendo sticks the knees. SPICOLLI DRIVER INTO THE TENT WINS IT!
Clayton Gains comes out to face Eli Drake and drink protein shakes. Stream goes wonky and Eli wins and Eli cuts a promo on Penta. OVE is out to face The Rascalz and Sydal. Topes and lopes for everyone! Tower of doom! X19 to Sami Sami hits a pedigree shoulderbreaker to Xavier, but eats a super meteora from Sydal! Triple tombstone leads to 2.5. Xavier hits a double backflip Pele! Super cutter in mid-air hits and wins it! Sami the Promoter then cuts a promo undercutting the heel act saying it's an honor to share the ring with Sydal and the Rascalz are the youngest, hungriest team out there.

Penta faces Jimmy Jacobs for the Impact World Title. Jimmy Jacobs is in a wacky zombie princess getup. They have a giant walk and brawl for a few decades. A board and a billion chairs are used. A gaint platform with chairs is set up and PENTA piledrives him through it to retain.



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