WWE Money in the Bank 2020

The card is run through and it's so weird seeing Drew as a giant smiling babyface. Jeff being back as the charismatic enigma is neat - that nickname might be TNA's greatest contribution to WWE. Given that I never watch SD, I like the long recap packages for its feuds. They've botched Braun for years - but they're putting him over huge in this video package. Alyse Ashton is in the WWE lobby talking about what WWE Superstars will do to earn the shot - and the risk if worth the reward. Jeff vs. Cesaro gets a CG graphic. Jeff jumping off the second rope for his intro makes me wince. The entire story here is Jeff's redemption - so I wouldn't bet money on Cesaro.

I like that now WWE gets Cesaro's theme right - now SIX YEARS AGO when he had momentum. Odd to not try to tie this match into Cesaro's past with The Bar too and instead just have it be Cesaro as The Opponent for Jeff's redemption. Jeff runs wild and goes for Air Hardy with the steps, but Cesaro grabs him and tosses him on the dasher boards. WHY IS CESARO-JEFF STILL GOING ON AND WHY IS JEFF IN AN ENDLESS CHINLOCK!? Cesaro avoids whisper in the wind and goes for a super gutwrench that Jeff counters into the whisper. "Twist of Fate" is back instead of the Twist of Fury. Only gets 2. Falling slam hits and Jeff goes for the swanton, but a Cesaro uppercut leads to the super gutwrench for 2. Swanton hits for Jeff and he wins it.

MITB cash-in stuff showcases BROCK PARTY LESNAR and then some COVID charity stuff. YES, a boring corporate PA system voice-over! They're definitely getting over the WWE Brand enough here. E does the splits in the corner and is just delightfully lewd. Forgotten Sons...are guys. Fatal four way for the tag titles is up with only 2 guys in at once. FAST AND FURIOUS ACTION!? Has Cole been watching TNA-era Josh Mathews and taking notes? Jesus!

Gunner helps his guys and he gets ejected - much to Corey's dismay. Cole, THE BABYFACE ANNOUNCER, is also against this. Okay great - so everyone just cheat as much as you can. Big E hits the Ending and wins it. Not sure why you wouldn't just give the Sons the belts to start them off "hot", but whatever. Okay. Truth doing his "What's Up" intro in an empty arena is great. ​​​​​​​I think that MVP in just the last four months has had about as many retirement matches as Terry Funk.

Truth and MVP get into a ballin' off. MVP's got his Black Panther getup on and it's some of his best. Byron, the whitest man on Earth, likes the basketball tutorial. LASHLEY COMES OUT. OH MY GOD YES. WE COULD BE GETTING LASHLEY AND MVP BACK TOGETHER AGAIN! This is 5 billion times better than MVP vs. Truth could've been in every way. Giant biel leads to Joe saying that Lashley's his own worst enemy. Spear ends it. This ruled.

Corbin does a terrible-quality selfie video bragging about all of is accomplishments. They tease more issues between Bayley and Sasha as Bayley faces Tamina in a match no one wants. Bayley has a...something bar locked on. I think. Bayley's getting tossed around a ton. Bayley is taking bumps for this match. THIS MATCH. Unreal. Sasha gets in the ring a bunch and Bayley gets a fluke cradle victory OVER TAMINA. Titus O'Neil charity video. Titus is SO AWESOME. Why did it feel like his ad was in fast forward while the one putting WWE over was long and drawn out? Speaking of drawn out, here's Seth yammering on.

It's 8PM and already time for the Universal Title match - so this belt really feels like the World Heavyweight title in the opener ala a decade ago. Happy Bray is out and Braun has camo pants. Braun charges.  Hits. Sometimes gets countered. Now we have puppets at ringside! Abigail hits for 2. Braun counters a second one with a chokeslam and makes sure to cover his bald spot. Strowman Express into the barricade. They keep replaying stuff with echoey commentary - so it's like AAA. Braun puts the mask on and we get some homoerotic comedy with them before Braun fakes Bray out and powerslams him down before yelling quickly about being his old man. Bray sulks and THE FIEND breaks in to set up a rematch.

So Seth and Drew are dull as dishwater promos - but great physically. So let's replay all of their talking in-depth to get this over. Attack of the clones match with Seth vs. Drew. Seth gets an STF and then a crossface. They do all their moves, Drew gets 2.5 off the future shock. Claymore countdown leads to a superkick from Seth and a stomp for 2.5. Drew eats another superkick and Drew absorbs it and lands a claymore to end it. And then they just shake hands. They went through MONTHS of storytelling here to just skip to the finish.

Backstage, Truth says he beat Lashley and MVP lost a lot of weight and laments the loss of his 24/7 Title. Truth's quest for the 24/7 Title is legit more engaging than Drew's WWE Title run. We get wacky intros with elevators and Carmella's gear is amazing.  Asuka dances on the balcony and then goes in an elevator and dances. Otis puts weights on AJ's chest.

Brother Love meets Rey after taking a piss. Bryan hits Dozer with yes kicks in the corner of a makeshift ring before we get a Doink cameo. Dana KOs Nia with a case in a conference room before grabbing A case, but Steph tells her it's not the real one and to clean. Carmella dances and then Lacey KOs her. AJ walks into a room chasing Rey and gets PTSD and Boneyard flashbacks after looking at a Taker photo. Then Black knocks him into a blue-lit room with a casket.

Heyman goes to eat a feast meant for 500 people before the roster gathers in front of him for a food fight. Nia takes out Carmella and stands over her before Otis goes to the cafeteria and hits Big Johnny with a  pie. Bryan and AJ fight in Vince's office and then he tells them to get out...so they do after putting his nice office chairs back. Yikes. Nia and Asuka fight on the roof with a ring on it.

Asuka and Corbin climb and Asuka kicks Corbin down when he tries to prevent her from winning. Corbin and Otis go at it and Otis worm elbows him. AJ and Bryan slug it out on the ladder. PELE TO OTIS! Phenomenal Forearm WITH A HELICOPTER SHOT! AJ and Corbin fight on the ladder, but Elias takes out Corbin and AJ tosses the case down...for some reason and Otis catches it.  All righty. Well Otis vs. Braun is at least new and Otis is...I guess as over as possible.