The pre-show has rambling and an AMAZING hype video for Bianca vs. Sasha - legit one of the best video packages ever in terms of making a new star feel like a legend on the rise. Seth-Cesaro recap WITH THE BACKSTAGE SWING. Tremendous! HOF video airs - I like the "paid for by the NWO" bit for their induction. Braun vs. Shane hype video gets a Sin City-ish video effect and Rosenberg talks about the blue bars being back for this. Maybe. Booker rambles on more to hype the show and then Booker plugs his Instagram show.
So much for giving Drew the big "first guy back from the pandemic" pop so THE COMPANY AND VINCE CAN GET THE POP. A bit too much of the "local players are her for the play" vibe - but Bebe Rexha does a great job of singing the National Anthem. Hype video runs through "cold open 101" with WM clips. Rain and lightning lead to a delay - this show is cursed!
Rain delay leads to BANTER and Shane chatting with Sarah. MVP hypes up that tonight will be the crowning of THE ALL MIGHTY ERA. This needs THE ALPHA MALE cutting a coked-up promo. New Day promo about their match. KO doing an unscripted promo is fantastic - hyping this up as a war over 20 years between he and Sami. And this is THEIR MOMENT before he gets sucked into the borg. Seth cuts a horrid promo before AFTER THE 30 MINUTE DELAY, THE HOSTS GET INTROS!
Hogan and Titus have no chemistry and Hogan is so awkward. Big pyro display for Drew and the goofy sword intro. Lashley's stage pose gets no pyro - but he does get pyro for his turnbuckle pose. Long tieup and they slug it out. "POUND AND GROUND BY LASHLEY" according to Cole. Standing Kimura attempt by Drew, but Lashley fights out. YOKOSUKA CUTTER GETS 2 FOR LASHLEY. All mighty spinebuster gets 2. Claymore is avoided and turned into another spinebuster. Soft style strike exchange FUTURE SHOCK CHAIN gets 2!
Drew wants a claymore, but MVP pulls Lashley out...after he drops down and then Drew flip dives onto them. Lashley, former pro MMA fighter, only has one submission move to use to try and win. DREW HAS MORE SUBMISSION MOVES. Kimura with a bodyscissor, but Lashley gets the rope. Hurt Lock is on and Drew goes for the Bret-Piper finish, but LASHLEY ROLLS THROUGH IT. LASHLEY WINS IT VIA Pass Out. Right man won - Lashley just won it and is in his first reign - he needed the win more and Drew can win it at Summerslam.
Bayley meets with Titus and the NWO and gets made to look foolish. GEEK BAYLEY a bigger geek than when she was a geek. Whew. Let's follow up that hour-long clusterfuck with a LANA TAG MATCH. YES! People paid WWE to risk death to watch Billie Kay and Lana wrestle. Double X factor from the faces to Billie gets 2. Sunset flip pins Naomi thanks to Carmella pushing her during it. Liv's out as Harley and "didn't get all of it' on a dropkick. Faces win after turning the heel tactics against them and getting a double team. Dana and Mandy come out and Mandy slips on the wet ramp. Dana tags in via ass-smack. Liv gets a cradle for the win. Nattie and Tamina are out. Hart Attack hits and the sharpshooter is attempted, but Tamina tags in and the Superfly dive ends it.
Another horrible Old Spice deal airs. Seth's EMBRACE THE VISION tron and theme are less buys than the Messiah was. Cesaro vs. Seth is up and Seth gets a big intro before a recap of Cesaro swinging him WITH WACKY NICKELODEON SPED UP VIDEO. All the drugs CG for Cesaro. Cole talks about Cesaro being a stop and start guy. Super gutwrench is met with a buckle bomb. Cesaro gets a sharpshoooter, but Seth gets the rope. Seth gets a European uppercut to the neck. STOMP INTO THE UPPERCUT! UFO HITS! CESARO SWING! 23 revolutions! Neutralizer hits and gets the win! Finally, a good match!
Big E's out time to do the New Day's intro! New Day bully Omos by yelling that they're cutting the ring in half because HE ISN'T A TAG WRESTLER. AJ gets beaten up and then AJ tags him in and Omos runs wild with Giant Gonzales moves before AJ HITS THE FOREARM OFF HIS SHOULDERS! Tree slam and a one foot pin - fitting after Khali goes into the HOF. RECAP OF THE BRAUN SHANE FEUD!
Shane's out and Braun gets a big train sound intro. Elias and Reicher jump Braun. They chairshot his knee a ton and then Shane chairshots him and kicks his leg out. Shane tears some metal off the cage top to attack him. Coast to Coast gets 2. They fight up top and Shane hits him with a tool box on top of the cage. OF COURSE! Shane climbs out, but Shane waves goodbye and Braun grabs him. Braun rips the cage apart and tosses him up top and throws him for a stunt bump off the top of the cage. Braun says he did that for everyone who's ever been called stupid. Powerslam wins it. This was fun.
Giant pyro display because fuck it, why not. YAY MORE WWE COMEDY. Just what we needed HOF video package. HOF stage bit with Liger and Shatner via photo. Georgia and Harry looked proud for their dad and the NWO got the intro. WM 22 is now in Dallas again. BOOKER T IS OUT FOR COMMENTARY! Booker's out for commentary. I hope someone has a little black dot on their boot. or IBS. Bunnies come out and Byron says he's had dreams about this. Miz and Morrison are out to rap and then we get a Bad Bunny video.
Priest is out in a dreadful outfit while Bad Bunny gets Becky's big rig intro. Miz, the two-time former WWE Champion was just out...sports entertained by Bad Bunny! He hits Kelly Kelly's deja vu, but gets double-teamed by the heels. BUNNY IN PERIL! Priest tags in and runs wild with wacky kicks. STEREO FALCON ARROWS FOR 2! Bunny dives on the heels, but Miz hits the Finale on Priest before BUNNY SAVES HIM. CANADIAN DESTROYER TO MORRISON! Double Impact crossbody wins it! This may actually be the best match of Mania weekend for WWE. Recap of tonight's events.
Sasha's revamped theme is better for just the intro stop point - everything else is a downgrade. Love seeing Bianca tear up a bit there - this feels like a big deal to them, and it makes the match feel bigger. Bianca gets her in the bitch clamp, but Sasha rolls her out and baseball slides her. Sasha dives but gets caught, pressed, and tossed in. Sasha lands a series of kicks and knees. Sasha jumps in the corner, but eats a spinebuster. 450 MEETS THE KNEES. Falling powerbomb INTO A DOUBLE POWERBOMB FOR 2! ALBERTO DOUBLE STOMP misses for Sasha and a shotgun knee misses. 450 HITS FOR 2.9! HAIR WHIP and the KOD is countering. KOD HITS AND SASHA...kicks out according to Cole. Yikes. Clean win there - good-ish match, but nothing amazing.
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