It's time for another Watchalong - this time for Battlebowl '93, a show that is fun but not really good per se. This is a "random draw" tag partner night with Gene and Fifi doing perv comedy at the tumbler. We get Cactus and Vader on one team with STEVIE RAY AND CHARLIE NORRIS on the other. Holy fuck. Vader shoves Rip Rogers right out of his chair in the back and yells DAMMIT before Race tells him they HAVE to get along. Vader and Jack beat each other up on the ramp before Stevie Ray helps Vader out - I like heels sticking together. Vader beats the fuck out of Norris, who then seemingly sandbags him and Vader fucks up the powerbomb and falls on his ass for the win.
"She looks good enough to eat" - crowd pop. Tremendous. ERIK WATTS teams with Roma while Johnny is out with Knobbs. Missy is by far the best thing about this match and upon closer inspection, she's wearing a thong underneath her outfit. Watts is awful. Knobbs is slightly better and Roma is paint drying. Johnny does next to nothing and Knobbs rolls through a crossbody to use the tights to beat Watts. Also,, Missy bends over on the ramp - easily the best part of the match.
We get a "don't blow on it!" from Gene before Orndorff and THE SHOCKMASTER are partnered against Steamboat and Regal. Regal's announcement cannot be heard in the slightest. Uncle Fred leads PAULA chants and those are over as fuck and he is doing no movement at all beyond just the arm-waiving for the "Paula" chant. Good. I love Regal and Orndroff shaking because they're FORCED to do battle here. I love Regal and Orndorff shaking hands like gentlemen. THE HEELS are coming off great here. On one hand, Regal and sloppy Uncle Fred writes itself - but by having him as Paul's partner, he can just stand on the apron and do "PAULA" - which is far better than him wrestling.
Regal and Steamboat are working their asses off here, as is Orndroff. Regal doesn't want to tag in - but Fred forces his hand literally. Regal ducks a corner charge and Uncle Fred gets cradled for 2. Steamboat and Dundee argue over the umbrella and Steamboat clocks Regal with it and UNCLE FRED PINS REGAL WITH A SPLASH! Gene announces that Charlotte gets Starrcade this year. Flair says he'll bring 10 World titles and Vader says he's got over 10 on four continents. Flair tells him that if he can't beat him for the World title, he's retiring. Vader says he took out Sid after running down everyone else he's taken out IN TWO YEARS.
Awesome Kong and the Equalizer against Dustin and King Kong. Jesus this roster. We get some shitty stuff with all the Kongs, which gets worse with the Equalizer before Dustin beats shit Kong with the bulldog. Sting, FORMER BATTLEBOWL CHAMPION, boy howdy teams with Sags against Simmons and KEITH COLE. Jesus. Sting is in like Bailante paint and gives no fucks while Ron stole El Matador's gear. Best part of the match is Sags short-arming Sting but ALWAYS wanting to be saved. Then Sting gets it with the Stinger splash, but Saga blind tags himself in and shitty elbow drops him to win while Ron just doesn't give a fuck and makes a concerted effort to just not get in the ring. Simmons BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF Keith Cole - great!
Austin and Flair face off with Scorpio and Payne. Payne EVEN WITH TWO OF THE BEST IN THE WORLD, is still dreadful. Payne misses a corner charge with the knee and Flair wins it by submission - showing he can beat a big man Vader's size with the figure four! More with Gene and Fifi as Rude is picked and Gene brings up the backdoor before Shanghai is picked as his partner. Bagwell teams with Tex! TEXICAN WARFARE! Shit-talking Rude is great. "I'M YOUR PARTNER - HE AIN'T SHIT! NOTHING!" to start. Tex goes to sunset flip his normal partner, but Rude hits the Rude Awakening for the win. Tex and Shangai beat up Bagwell and hug!
OUR LAST GENE AND FIFI bit has her "fixing his cord". Davey Boy teams with Booker T and HAWK TEAMS WITH RIP ROGERS. Rip was always a favorite of mine on this show. Hawk beats his ass on the ramp and THEN BOOKER DOES TOO. Rip keeps trying to get on the apron and gets his ass kicked again. Booker and Hawk plod around before Booker misses a diving elbow. Hawk throws Rip on Booker FOR THE WIN!
More with Gene as he assures Tony he'll get ahold of something tonight. We get some Gene and Jesse interplay as an AWA throwback - or as it would be today, the equivalent of guys from 2009 jaw-jacking. Jesus has time flown! RIP GETS TOSSED BY JOHNNY! Johnny B BOO! Flair and Harley go at it! Or at it would be now - a throwback to 2011, like Miz vs. Cena. Only people cared about Race vs. Flair. SUPLEX TO RACE and Flair eats an elbow to the balls/gut. BIG SPLASH leads to Tony going hard on the sell and I remember that vividly.
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