The pre-show is horrible, but at least hypes up the "Andrew the Giant" battle royal winner Madcap Moss. A generic country human sings America the Beautiful in a bland way. Good show-opening video by Mark Walhberg about catching greatness. Cole goes into this big goofy STUPENDOUS bullshit deal. McAffee loses his shit at Nakamura and Boogs, who are sponsored by Mike's Harder in this match...with the Usos, who probably shouldn't be in a match sponsored by a booze company. Boogs blows his knee out going for a double Samoan drop and SHIN loses via the 3D/1D. Amazing.
Corbin-Drew recap easily peaks with the Hobo Corbin era being run down. The joke about Drew's mother dying wasn't needed on SD to "make this personal" and doesn't help anyone. They have...a match. Clubbing. Punches. Restholds. Hard buckle whip and Drew sells it hard. Another one almost registers. Flip dive from Drew - which should be his Deadman Dive, but...just isn't since everyone does that spot. Monsterplex from Drew, END OF DAYS GETS 2, and a Future Shock>claymore ends it. DREW THEN CUTS THE ROPES WITH HIS GOOFY SWORD and something goes kablooey. Ugh.
Dom and Rey are out and DOM IS IN LOS GRINGOS LOCOS GEAR! Miz and Logan are in black and yellow looking like the Killer Bees. Logan Paul's wearing a Pokemon card chain - love it. He has more star power than 99% of the roster and in his first match, feels like he belongs. Rey is great in there as a babyface in peril against Logan Paul. Can we get Ricky Steamboat vs. Logan Paul? Frog splash gets 2 for Logan Paul. Logan eats a double 619, but Miz is legal and steals the win with the Skull Crushing Finale.
Steph gets an intro to give Gable Steveson "the McMahon rub". Becky vs. Bianca is up. Becky gets a career-spanning Naito WK-style video and is...in some hideous facial makeup. A massive EST chant starts off and a Manhandle slam is countered into a KOD, which is turned into a Manhandle slam for 2.9. Now it's time for moves! Becky misses a moonsault and Bianca gets the disarmher, but Becky gets the rope.
Awkward victory roll sequence goes off kilter a bit, but gets 2. A pair of Bexploders get 2 for Becky. Isaac Yankem Memorial draping dropkick by Becky! CROSS ARMBAR BY BECKY! Atomic wedgie to Becky by Bianca off a Rampage bomb attempt to Becky leading to an over the top rana. Suplex to on the floor by Bianca! Gutbuster on the top rope to Becky yields a 450 off the second rope from Bianca that gets 2!
Somersault kick by Becky off the top gets 2! KOD toss to the floor to Becky. Manhandle on the steps! KOD WINS IT! This was easily the best match on the show so far - and the most Mania-feeling one yet. Seth vs. Cody Rhodes is up! Great recap of this loser being a loser with all his losses. Then even worse, we get a recap of the Raw skit. Big choir intro for Seth.
MONSTER Cody chant to start things off before even Vince came out. "Time is money! DON'T MAKE ME WAIT!" before a Cody intro is great. Corey adds some greatness to this with Seth being one of Dusty's own pupils now having to face his son. Corey's acting like Cody's here for a retirement un and plays him up as old.
Seth gets a shoulderblock and they treat it like Cody hasn't felt something like that in ages. Really now? The Sammy ladder cutter went viral - come on. SHORTARM SCISSORS here in Cody's return. Long bearhug by Seth. Moonsault block gets 2 for Cody. Barricade bomb by Seth to Cody. CROSS RHODES GETS 2! Seth hits Cody's inverted superplex for 2. Butterly driver is now the Tiger driver and Cody's having a hard time getting a good breath and just yelled "SHIT!". Cody cutter gets 2! Seth Pedigree gets 2.5.
They slug it out and Cody hits some HANDSOME BATTLE-worthy forearms. Kawada kicks to Cody! REVOLVING DOOR CROSS RHODES! The uber-mega death finish for AEW is just his debut finish in WWE. But no, the flip, flop and fly with the bionic elbow hit! ANOTHER CROSS RHODES ends it. Cody kisses the mat and they plug Wahlberg's theme and the HOF. We get one more Taker entrance.
Boogs recap and he'll be out for about six months. Subdued intro for Ronda vs. Charlotte, but Ronda looks far better being a happy babyface. Rising knee to Charlotte on the top and a draping triangle from Ronda. MONSTER LARIATO by Charlotte gets 2. Spear hits hard for 2. Top rope crab by Charlotte leads to Ronda sitting up and talking shit and wanting the armbar on the mat, but Charlotte escapes.
Piper's Pit hits, but a second leads to an ankle lock after a cradle. Charlotte gets an ankle lock and gets booted into the buckle. Rampage bomb gets 2 for Charlotte. Ankle lock with the scissor gets a close call with the rope. Charlotte falls out of her top on the figure 8 leading to a feed blackout. Charlotte eats shit on the moonsault to the floor. Piper's Pit near the rope and it's an obvious non-3. Natural Selection hits for 2.9. Ref's out and Charlotte taps to the armbar. BIG BOOT ENDS IT AND CHARLOTTE RETAINS. Well, they "protected" Ronda there - but Charlotte didn't look better than Ronda.
Owens vs. Austin is up in whatever form it will be. KEVIN STEEN IS MAIN EVENTING WRESTLEMANIA AGAINST STEVE AUSTIN. Austin comes out, milks the intro, does the ATV bit and KO gets in some great lines about Texas. Its land is bland and uninspiring - UNLIKE SAY CANADA. Austin says that he'll have 75,000 people calling him an asshole and KO isn't a fan of that - it's too vulgar. He's a dignified FRENCH-CANADIAN! AND HE HAS LIED - he wants to fight!
He doesn't want just any match - he wants a no holds barred match! Owens is stirring the drink perfectly. "I'm looking at him and I can't beat this big, beautiful FRENCH-CANADIAN BASTARD KO!" Austin says his first match was in Dallas, his last could be, and he's going to kick the shit out of him and get him a goddamn ref! AUSTIN THROWING THE RIGHT HANDS! STOMPS A MUDHOLE!
Corner to corner mudhole stomping with a between-corner beer break. Austin goes into the barricade and comes back with a lariat. Snake eyes on the barricade to KO. Austin gets posted on the floor. Crowd brawl and AUSTIN TAKES A SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR! Owens eats a slam off the barricade to the announce table. Necessity is the mother of invention and Hogan took even more out of Superstar Graham's playbook in 2011 and Austin is taking similar shortcuts here - and it's not bad, it's smart work.
Austin's bumping around more than expected - I mean, he did more physically against Miz and A-Ry, but he's taking bumps and he hasn't really done that since taking a chokeslam from Kane in '03. KO tries to escape on the ATV, but Austin hops on and suplexes him on the stage! ANOTHER ONE FOR THE OTHER SIDE. Austin kicks his ass down the aisle and GETS ANOTHER BEER! Make that two!
STUNNER TO AUSTIN! Austin recovers, hits KO with his own chair and stuns him to win. This was a bit more than I expected and Steve definitely felt better and moved better as he got the adrenaline going. MORE DRINKING AND ANOTHER STUNNER! Steve joins his brother in some mid-ring brews and stuns Byron again before drinking more. This was about perfect.
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