Sunday, October 28, 2018

WWE Evolution 2018

Beth, Paige, and Renee are on the pre-show panel. Steph narrates the video about the EVOLUTION of the division from the divas division to the women's division. LADIESALLACROSSTHEWORLD! this song needs to die. Cole's audio is messed up to start the show. Nita Strauss is mid-ring being great. A terrible buttrock concert to start the show off. What is this? A WWA show? TRAILBLAZERS said twice in Cole's first sentence. Beth's Bull Nakano shirt is aces. Trish and Lita's match is the opener, which is smart since the first 30 minutes of the show is on Twitter and Youtube. Whether she wrestles or not, at least Alexa is in some new super-hot light blue shorts. Mickie and Alicia are in costumes, with Mickie being some weird vampire thing maybe.

Cole brings up Lita's retirement match in 2006. Ah yes, the one where WWE slut-shamed her afterwards.Trish got an unreal pop coming out and Lita barely does the headscissors. This show just as a show looks terrible with the WWE ECW-level lighting. Mickie and Trish go at it and it's so weird to see 2006-era stuff on a nostalgia show. Alicia accidentally boots Mickie and Alexa prevents a Lita moonsault. Nice northern lights by Alicia gets 2.


Trish and Mickie continue to have great chemistry, and Trish lands a nice sky high for 2. Trish gets 2.9999 off a Stratusfaction that Foxy was supposed to save earlier. In the end, Lita gets the Twist and both eat a moonsault before a Chick Kick wins it. This was pretty terrible when Lita was in there, but Mickie and Trish showed they should probably do a singles match. That was terrible and now we're backstage with more terrible audio. The crowd is louder than the Bellas are.

 


A WOMEN'S REVOLUTION video showcases Kelly Kelly and Sasha's goofy '90s jacket. Battle royal time! LOL at this show getting a commentators from around the world recap! Naomi, Michelle McCool, Sonya Deville, Alundra, Carmella, Zelina Vega, Kelly Kelly, Tamina, Ember, Lana, Molly, Dana Brooke, Maria, Mandy, Nia, Ivory, Asuka, Torrie, and the IIconics are in this. Madusa still has quite a bit of poise. Zelina's intro focuses on her dad dying in 9/11 and them coming to this building - so hope she wins. The IIconics' comedy works just as terribly on PPV as it does on TV. Wonderful.


They get dumped out right away, and Sonya and Mandy take out Molly. Lana wants a Happy Lana Day, but Tamina and Nia beat her up. Silly giant pile suplex. Carmella flosses and then dances with Ivory before that's broken up and Dana smashes the apron for her elimination. Ember tosses Asuka out after the hip attack misses in the rope. Eclipse to Tamina hits and Ember finally feels like a star on the main roster going up against Nia. A huge LET'S GO EMBER chant breaks out. Ember tries to take out Nia, but doesn't - so Zelina helps and thinks she's won. Nia tosses her out onto Tamina, who thank God catches her. Nia wins it and gets a pop - so okay, she'll face Ronda at some point.

 

Nia cuts a crying Tommy Dreamer promo on her title shot. A Girl Up video airs to celebrate all the good WWE does and oh yeah, some women talk about being recognized for their work. An awesome video package airs on Toni Storm and Io Shirai. Toni gets a shockingly great pop for this being her main roster and PPV debut. Toni's work, look, and whole act are main event main roster-level.


Toni gets a slap combo and a basement dropkick gets 2. Shirai gets a modified Rings of Saturn while Renee talks about SOAKING IN THE MOMENT. Dammit - the point of this move isn't to SOAK IN THE MOMENT, it's to weaken a body part and win a match and a tournament! Toni goes up, but Io hits a trianle dropkick to send her to the floor and then a moonsault off the top to the floor! APRON GERMAN TO IO! AND IT'S THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING TOO!



Toni's forearms are blocked and that hurts Storm, so Io forearms her down. Toni takes her head off with a lariat. Storm Zero hits for 2.5. Io lands a 619 and a springboard sunset flip for 2. Nasty shotgun knees hit Toni and she goes for the moonsault. Toni gets the knees up and the Tiger Driver wins it! I love Toni winning - her not getting the NXT UK Women's Title makes sense since Rhea has it and they just set up that Rhea didn't like her winning - so now Toni gets the MYC victory and will probably get the NXT UK Women's Title. 

 
 
Io and Toni hug while HHH, Steph, and Sara Amato present Toni with flowers. A Crown Jewel ad airs right after and we get an evolution meaning video with Eve Torres. The Riott Squad is out with Ruby dressed as a magician. Sasha, Nattie, and Bayley are out. Finn has a goofy sign and looks like a goofball. Hart attack hits and Bayley's sliding dropkick doesn't and she eats the post via a dropkick. Sasha gets a hot tag and runs wild. Doomsday inverted bulldog from the squad, and Nattie gets a stupid double sharpshooter but Liv saves with her Not a Codebreaker for 2. Babyfaces win it after a Bayley elbow and Sasha frog splash and man did this go way too long.

Shayna's out to face Kairi. Shayna, like MVP when he made the main roster, fortunately doesn't look her age - but it might hurt her changes of being a top-level act on the main roster. I'd put her on SD after they do the Horsewomen tag (if they ever do) and then you spend a year building to Shayna vs. Ronda at Mania. Shayna destroys her with arm work and a nice hand stomp before locking on a kneeling kimura. Snap knee from Kairi gets an awesome sell by Shayna. Shayna's MMA background allows her selling to be so great - she knows what shit SHOULD feel like and then you know how to properly get that across. Kairi hits a corner spear and a running flipping neckbreaker.

 
Nice draping armbar by Shayna, but Kairi gets a DDT and Kairi dives onto her on the floor. Kairi tosses Shayna into the crowd, who Cole tells us are NXT trainees. .Jessamyn and Marina get involved! Choke gets a rollthrough for 2. Duke slugs her and a chokeout win for Shayna! HORSEWOMEN BEATDOWN INCOMING! Or not.


Becky vs. Charlotte is up. They avoid stuff for a bit until Charlotte shoves her on her ass. Becky does her legdrops before mocking the Flair strut and elbows her like she was a sports jacket. Becky canes her and they throw chairs in the ring. This reminds me of a Dean vs. Cesaro match on SD in like 2012 where they just put giant amounts of chairs all over the place to bump on. It was cool then - I enjoy replicating that in games now. Cole talks about all of Becky's cheers being some story that Becky is feeding the fans and they're buying it.Cole rattling off Becky's story in life as some bullshit story and then acting shocked that fans cheer her over Flair is amazing. Cole talks about how Charlotte earned everything and didn't get handed anything. Charlotte's moonsault hits Becky on the table, which doesn't break.
Charlotte lands a swanton through the table! They go down for a 9.5 and get up, and then fall down again. A ladder is used while they talk about ladders ending careers - yeah, like that of Beth's husband over time. SLAM ON THE LADDER, and it started as a becksploder, so they might've changed it to be safer. Charlotte teases a figure 8 with the ladder and stomps the knee. Charlotte gets it, and it looks ridiculous until Becky chairs her to escape. They brawl at ringside while talking about Becky leaving her while Ric was sick. They're off by a year there.


A ladder is set up by the German table. Becky legdrops her off a ladder through the table! They're willing themselves into as close to a five star match as humanly possible. Becky buries Charlotte under chairs. LOL @ Charlotte getting booed after getting up while Renee yells WHAT A WARRIOR! Charlotte canes her and spears her. BECKY POWERBOMBS HER OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE! A giant Becky chant breaks out and BECKY WINS. GO BECKY BALBOA! So now Cole is telling the story that Becky overcame her doubters and acting like she is winning the title win this match. WTF?



Crown Jewel ad gets booed on-air. Wow. Nikki gets a huge pop with Brie having a Bella flag. Ronda has some horrid blue makeup on, but I love the black and blue gear. Nikki keeps trying to dive at Ronda and Ronda reminds her that she can snap the arm whenever she wants. Nikki grinds away and attacks her on the floor. Nikki smashes Ronda on the post in a unique way - which was great to see.

Nikki gets an abdominal stretch, but Ronda tosses her out. Disaster kick gets 2 for Nikki. Ronda tosses her off the top and misses a crossbody. DOUBLE ROWDY BUSTER! Ronda gets the tossing exploder, but Brie attacks her - so Ronda tosses her over the announce table. Alabama slam gets 2 for Nikki! Rack Attack 2.0 gets 2! Ronda gets a super small package and the armbar ends it! Travis Browne eats her face for a bit and then she hugs fans. Ronda does an almost Tanahashi-esque celebration after the match with the fans while Nia looks on angrily at a 90 degree angle. Ronda celebrates with the roster on the stage after a WM-level highlight video airs.








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