AAA Triplemania XXVII - 2019

TripleMania is upon us and it should be a big night, with the debut of Cain Velasquez in pro wrestling. A bizarre image acts as a pre-show hype piece. The commentators are shown and Hugo is in the greatest outfit since Boyd Pierce's prime. We get some great shots of the arena too.

Pre-show match has "Clint Eastwood" playing Astrolux, Arkangel Divino, and Dragon Bane to the ring to face Aramis, Toxin, and Arez. Dragon Bane and Aramis have some wacky flipping exchanges and near-ranas. Aramis gets a modified backstabber into a neck lock that's pretty cool. Dragon Bane dives and focuses on his man bun. Aramis takes out Astrolux with a rainmaker. Aramis hits a double blue thunder bomb for 2! SUPER RANA OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR ONTO THE PILE! In the pre-show match! Well, that's more guys bumping than we'll see combined in the main event, but still. Dragon Bane wns with a 630.

A tremendous hype video airs in the style of an old Hammer horror movie, with wacky cuts to the wrestlers and of course, high-flying phone-branded lucahdores. THEN KAIJU MONSTERS ATTACK and thanks to lucha, the world is saved! Now it's time for a long Une Fon ad. GO BACK TO THE BLUE DEMON MOVIE PARODY! Now the emcee is taking selfies with a hot chick. Then the lucha garbagemen got their own video.

 

Well, at least they're replaying some of Aerostar's life and career-shortening dives to hype up the biggest show of the year. Great video package showing the saga of Hamburuesa and Big Mami.The flag ceremony and its awesome music begins. It's goofy, bizarre, and yet strangely beautiful.

 

 

Australian Suicidie is out with Vanilla to face Sammy G with Scarlett, Villano III Jr. AAA needs to release Nino's entrance video of him dabbing around CGI burgers now! Mixed tag belts are on the line. Scarlett eats a powerbomb onto Marvella for 2. Mami lands a Gori special bomb.Villano III Jr hits a walking AA to Nino! Scarlett and Mami have a hilarious faceoff. CANNONBALL BY NINO! Ropewalk flipping whateverthefuckthatwas to the floor by Australian Suicide!

Scarlett hits an assalanche and stinkfaces Mami, so then Nino bumps her and Mami stinkfaces her. Scarlett hits a flip dive off the top to the floor! MAMI GOES UP! BUT NINO HITS A FLIP DIVE! And both Scarlett and Sammy G bump for the hell of it. MAMISAULT OFF THE TOP KILLS EVERYONE!

Goofiness with a missed moonsault by Sammy having less than 0% chance of hitting, then everyone just misses random shit. Falling sofa splash by Mami, but A FOUL from Lady Marvilla BREAKS NINO'S HEART AND ENDS THE MATCH! Villano III Jr. also now gets a belt. Konnan walks out carefully with his giant belly button and tries to avoid falling off the tiny ramp.
He cuts a promo on Trump and then leaves.

A beautiful Perro video airs with Rey praising him in new footage. I guess Rey either got clearance to send that in or just doesn't give a shit since they're not going to fire him, or push him no matter what. Dorian Roldan and Silver King get tributes as well. His family comes out while "Smells Like Teen Spirit" plays - and without DDP, it just seems weird in a pro wrestling context.

Pimpy, Mambo, and Maximo are out to face the non-union Mexican Shield and Vikingo, Golden Magic, and Myztezis Jr. Caristico is so influential even in 2019 that he has two tribute acts wrestling in different companies while he still just fucks around in CMLL.Dropkick to the balls sends one of the non-Shield guys to the floor. Myzteziz Jr. does a shitload of cool stuff for a while and then corkscrew dives onto a pile. Maximo eats a dive through a table. Whatever the fuck that was to the floor before the quick cutaway was great. Kevin Dunn would jerk off at all of these camera cuts.

Golden Magic hits a spanish fly and a 450 for 2. Exotico kissing spot gets the biggest reaction so far. Maximo bonks the bad guys with a chair going for as uplex. Corner DVD by Vikingo! Imploding 450 wins it! Now this is an epic theme song - I half expect Kratos to come out and either start killing people or hand out sandwiches. This match is so insane that it actually gets replays.

Eclipse Jr. comes out to face Daga in some kind of a rumble match. The insanely loud countdown can fuck right off. Drago's out to the Halo 2 theme. Drago hits the blockbuster on Eclipse and then Superfly comes out to an even more generic tron than Daga's. Murder Clown is ready to join the Mad Gear gang.

Aerostar does a crazy dive off a lighting platform above the ring, because of course he does. Puma King flips Eclipse out before Konnan comes out with a Turmp paint smock and sits in the corner while other folks do moves. VAMP COMES OUT AND THEY PLAY HIS FUCKING MUSIC!

Vamp chokeslams everyone and sends Konnan out. Pagano and Chessman brawl before Averno comes out with his mask for his intro and an old luchador singlet. Vamp just leaves throughout all htis because fuck it. Rey Escorpion's out and then La Parka does what we'll call dancing to the ring. La Parka being a walking skeleton almost makes his stilted walking work - akin to Taker's gimmick getter kinda better as he ages. Minus any sense of presence or charisma. DAVE THE CLOWN DISTRTACTS LA PARKA AND CAUSES HIM TO LOSE! Pagano wins this insanity.

The lights go out and PARK AND HIS KIDS RETURN! They beat up Pagano and destroy his shitty trophy. They beat the shit out of him before he cuts an intense, scary promo and fucks him up more while "Bad to the Bone" plays.

Women's title is up and maybe Shani shouldn't get matching gear for her young daughter. Taya looks like a star and Keyra is out in a wheelchair. Tormenta attacks her before AYAKO HAMADA acts as her replacement. Taya stapleguns a photo to Tormenta! Taya and Ayako fight on a ladder before Hamada lands a moonsault off the top onto, but not through a table. Tormenta gets bumped through a ladder in theory, but largely misses the ladder. Everyone kills each other and Tessa climbs up and grabs the belt.

A tremendous Wagner meat ad airs before Kross is out with Scarlett in a new, hotter outfit. Taurus, and Texano Jr to face Cody, Cain, and Psycho Clown. Cain's somewhat over. Cain gets...a  nice, polite applause-style pop. Yowza. Cain gets tagged in against Kross, so Kross tags in Texano. Cain throws Taurus around. Cody comes in and gets wishboned. Psycho manages to break a table with a frog splash off the top through a table on Kross on the floor. Cain gets a death valley driver and a Kimura for the win. Heels jump in and takes Psycho's mask..

Elite is out to face the Lucha Bros and Laredo Kid. Elite gets a triple sharpshooter, but Matt eats a destroyer on the apron! Ref gets bumped and the Elite only gets 2 for the triple powerbomb. DOUBLE INDY TAKER FOR 2.9! Omega unmasks Fenix and wears it before a V Trigger. He picks him up for a One Winged Angel, but eats a poison rana and the faces hit stereo destroyers for the greatest 2.9 count ever! Double dive and a cradle piledriver ends it - Lucha Bros and Laredo win it! Kenny thanks everyone for letting AEW sell the place out. He challenges Fenix for his title - and Fenix accepts, SO THE TITLE WILL FINALLY BE DEFENDED!

Blue Demon Jr. comes out in a cherry picker to Red Hot Chili Peppers while Wagner gets his own and a slick white outfit. A recap video plays as each man gets closer to one another on the cherry pickers with each passing clip. Blue Demon gets a ton of boos here and Tirantes is ref. Wagner starts in a mask, but it gets ripped up quickly and of course, Wagner's in all-white and bleeding after a bottle shot from Demon. 

They brawl! And Demon's son attacks Wagner, so Wagner bonks his dad with a cookie sheet. Fujiwara armbar by Demon! MORE ARMBARS! WAGNER DRIVER GETS 2.9! A SECOND AND THIRD LEAD TO A REF PULLOUT! The sons attack one another with sheets and rocks. Demon hits him with a cement block and beats him!

Fantasma comes down and Wagner gets his head shaved before handing him the remnants. He cuts an intense promo about something to massive cheers.