WCW Beach Blast 1992

 

It's the first F4W Board watchalong in a bit, and it's one of my favorite WCW shows ever - Beach Blast 1992. THE WCW BEACH BLAST. Real shame Bret didn't debut on this show. Tony hypes up the show and we get a COWBOY BILL WATTS promo. He bans Madusa and Paul E from ringside during the iron man match and my God is Tony's hair spectacular. Jesse comes down with bikini babes.

Scott Flamingo is out to get a shot at Pillman's light heavyweight title. Jesse says Pillman has the edge when it comes to moves, but Scotty's meaner. Pillman avoids an elbow to the jaw in the corner, but Scott gets one in the gut. Scotty gets locked in a short-arm scissor and Jesse talks about how that takes away your circulation and we get a 5 minute time cue. Scotty gets stuck foot-first in the ropes and takes him off so he bumps down. Okay, someone needs to steal that ASAP. Pillman goes up, but SINCE HE'LL BE DQED, he can't jump - so Scotty slams him off for 2. 

Scotty hits a pescado to Pillman on the foor OVER THE TOP and Jesse talks about how THERE'S NO MATS OUT THERE and Ross says IT'S OUR TRADEMARK and Jesse calls it THE REAL DEAL. Crossbody gets 2 for Pillman and then Scotty gets a 205 Live chinlock and a series of chokes. Brian gets his rebound dropkick and a spin wheel kick. Scotty gets a corner boot counter and a powerslam with the tights gets 2. JESUS there was like no margin for error on that second rope belly to backdrop driver. Corner Bret bump from Scotty and a rabbit lariat by Pillman. Brian misses a dive on the ramp and eats a knee and SCOTTY WINS!?

Jesse complains about Johnny B Badd emceeing the bikini contest. Johnny at least looks a star and talks about the three competitions being evening gown, swimsuit, and bikinis. We get awkward...I guess posing from them. This is a thing alright. Well that's over thank God, for now. Tony fills time AFTER ONE MATCH recapping what we've seen. And let's not show RON SIMMONS GETTING THE KEY TO THE CITY. Might make him seem like a star or something.

Tremendous sexy jazz music for Ron Simmons here as Terry Taylor is out as the Wish version of the Million Dollar Man. Ron and Taylor fight to the ramp and Taylor gets run into the ropes and pressed on the ramp and into the ring. Long bearhug by Ron. Taylor stomps away on the ramp and jacks his jaw before GETTING A CHINLOCK. Simmons chokes him as a prelude to the tree slam. Giant powerslam ends it. Ron Simmons talks about BEATING THE ODDS no matter what color you are.

 

Bagwell is out in solid gear while Greg Valentine is out to music that wouldn't be out of place in Saturday Night Slam Masters. Valentine is aided by looking 55 for the last 30 years here. Buff drops down and Greg just swings down and elbows him. Now that's a great move that needs to be brought back. Valentine just clubs him down on the chest and then gets a backbreaker stretch. Valentine does...what we've call generously a ropewalk second rope ellbow, but Buff moves. Greg works on the legs and then chops the shit out of him. Bagwell gets a backdrop, but the figure four ends it. This was glacial, but enjoyable.

Cactus-Hammer recap leads to Jesse hoping they have a good camera crew. Sting vs. Cactus is up! This Cactus Jack theme wouldn't be out of place for Mankind in '96. It's so much better than Mr. Bang Bang. FANTASTIC shot to start the match off. Big backdrop and bulldog on Jack on the ramp! CACTUS ELBOW ON THE BARE FLOOR and I'm sure his hips loved that. Ross talks about how hard he smacked his knee on it.

Sting backdrops him into the crowd. SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE. Jesus it only gets 2. Sting catches the leg, but Jack spins into a lariat. CACTUS JACK WITH A BODYSCISSOR! CACTUS CLOTHESLINE TO THE FLOOR! I like Jesse putting Jack over by saying that while he can't beat Sting for the title tonight, he can beat him up so severely that a title loss is inevitable. Chair to the back of Sting! BELLY TO BACK ON THE FLOOR TO JACK!

They punch each other down and Jack falls on him for 2. STINGER SPLASH ON THE FLOOR leads to a stun gun on the barricade and Jack's back hitting an upright chair. Sting gets his karate chop action and goes for the scorpion after some chairs to the back, but Jack escapes and gets the double arm DDT for 2. Sting gets the flying lariat off the top to the ramp and we closed the match with a great shot that's almost as good as the openening shot for it. Tremendous match.

Tony and Eric chat for a bit and hype up the iron man match. Biscoff talks about Rude having a 19 pound weight advantage and that giving Steamboat the edge here. Rude's out with his belt over his robe and he made this look work, somehow. AND HE'S GOT A WORD FOR ALL YOU FAT, OUT OF SHAPE BEACH-LOVING BOZOS.

 

Steamboat's out with his family and that goofiness aside, his gear rules.  Rude jumps him, but Steamboat hits a gutbuster to hurt him early on. I LOVE IT. Bearhug and a vertical bow and arrow are locked on by Steamboat - so the ribs are the point of impact here. Look at all they've gotten about of a GUT BUSTER. This is what can happen when your framework is that it's a sporting event instead of HEY EVERYONE THE CARNIVAL IS IN TOWN. ELEVATED CRAB BY STEAMBOAT! Rude cries out about his ribs and he gets the rope. 

Jesse compares Steamboat to Dr. No and Goldfinger for working on the ribs. Steamboat gets a splash and a cover for 2. Rude gets a knee out of the corner and sends him down for a quick pinfall! Jesse gets an apt comparison saying it's like hockey with one team getting a dozen shots on goal and not getting it in and another team gets one shot on the goal and gets it. RUDE AWAKENING HITS FOR 3. Rude gets a backbreaker and he goes up top and is willing to lose a fall to gain 2 and he gets DQed. Rude gets a fall off that. Rude MAKING THE TOP ROPE RULE count there. You lose a fall, okay, but you do long-term damage off one move and you stand to gain more than just one fall off it easily. 

Rude snapmares him into a camel clutch, but Ricky hoists him up and Rude makes a variety of wacky faces and tries to...swim? his way out of that. Electric chair hits for Ricky. Rude goes for a tombstone, but Ricky body-walks him and GETS A TOMBSTONE AND GETS A FALL! Rude goes up and Steamboat catches him and superplexes him and it's not a DQ because both men are up top...because sure that makes sense. Steamboat gets a backslide with a wide base to get ANOTHER FALL, it's 3 each! They go for anything for falls and Rude gets out at 2 for a crossbody.

Ref gives a standing 10 count. Ross and Jesse say he's counting out of habit. What? If you have a standing 10 count, you need to count both men down in the event that one gets up before the other. Rude poses WITH ONE ARM BECAUSE HIS LEFT ARM IS HURT. Rude goes for a Rude Awakening, BUT STEAMBOAT GETS IT AND GETS 2 when Rude gets the rope. Rude gets a sleeper on the shoulders, but Rude gets sent into the buckle. Jesse adds in that this could take Steamboat out and thus give him the win easily for the last three minutes. Long sleeper and RUDE KICKS THE ARM AWAY when he tries to grab the rope. Tremendous. STEAMBOAT GETS THE ARM UP AT 2.5! STEAMBOAT PUSHES BACK AND HITS THE RIBS TO GET A PIN WITH 30 SECONDS LEFT. Rude goes for anything and can't do it! It's great. Rude did EVERYTHING, but in the end, Steamboat's FIRST MOVE ended up getting him the win.

Madusa's out in a giant swimsuit and Missy's in a bikini...in the non-bikini portion? Whatever. We get a shot of Tony Gillum and MY GOD HE'S SUCH A GOOBER. Ole is in the ring as the senior official with the Dangerous Alliance facing Barry, Dustin, and Nikita. Steve covers up a six man tag title as TV Champion since the new belt wasn't finished yet. Bobby works great with everyone, even Nikita who is just mentally checked out. Arn thumbs Barry and clubs him off the second rope. 

Steve and Dustin go at it with a mini-slugfest. Ole shoves Steve back. Ole no doubt lecturing Steve on wearing neon on his gear and not being a draw until he knocks that shit off and becomes a black trunks, black boots kinda guy. WHAT A SHORTARM CLOTHESLINE BY BOBBY! Steve comes in and gets a 360 sell off a lariat to Dustin for 2.5 that sounds like 3 due to Ole's cadence. Arn locks an armbar on Dustin before he tags in Barry and he runs wild. TRADEMARK ARN KNEELING DOUBLE SLEDGEHAMMER gets a DQ due to the top rope rule as Ross talks about this proving Ole is impartial.

Bischoff and Steamboat meet on THE WWF SUPERSTARS INTERVIEW PLATFORM. Subtle there WCW. Steamboat cuts a hell of a promo and Paul E says he's gotten HIS LAST US TITLE SHOT. CACTUS JACK JUMPS HIM! Johnny's out in yet another new outfit and he and Jesse are out for the bikini portion of things. Madusa comes out in chaps and then Missy's bikini is stolen, so she steals Jesse's doorag.

DOC AND GORDY FACE THE STEINERS! Gordy and Doc are in wacky wrestling robes. Scott and Gordy exchange holds on the mat. Scott rides him to the rope. Doc comes in for some more RASSLIN. Side headlock takeover for Scotty. Rick's in and he struggles to get an overhead belly to belly on Doc. I love how important EVERY PRO WRESTLING move is here - the amateur-style stuff is being used as a link in the chain to do them. DOC AND RICK SLUGFEST SENDS RICK TO THE RAMP! Rick goes for a sunset flip and Scotty slugs Doc into i for 2. Gordy gets a slick elevated half crab before transitioning into a kneebar.

 Doc and Scotty go at it and Doc struggles to get him in the rope before Gordy comes in for a partial STF on Scotty. Scott gets up but eats a lariat for 2. Doc misses a corner charge, but gets his own elevated half crab. This feels like a strange strong style vs. king's road style and it's not exactly clicking, but is technically great. ELEVATED CRAB BY DOC. Okay, this is all wearing a bit thin. Rick comes in and gets a powerslam for 2. POWERSLAM OFF THE TOP BY GORDY, but he's illegal, so they lose time and Doc gets 2. OH THANK GOD THERE'S ONLY FIVE MINUTES LEFT IN THIS MATCH is not the reaction I expected to have going into it. Doc gets a long chinlock. There's just zero sense of urgency here. Doctor bomb gets 2. STAMPEDE INTO THE BUCKLE, but Rick escapes the powerslams and GETS A STEINERLINE. CORNER COUNTER STEINERLINE GOES THWACK! SCOTT GETS A TAG AND SLAMS DUDES! TIGER DRIVER BUT HE'S HOT DOGGING AND DOESN'T WIN. Obviously becuase they took too much time. They run down tonight's events and that's it.