The card is all shaken up due to folks not getting medically cleared. Nia, Shayna, and Nikki Cross are off - with Shayna apparently being pregnant as per Nia. SD Tag Champs retain after Cesaro THROWS HIM INTO THE VIRTUAL WWE UNIVERSE for a swing/Kinshasa combo. A Cena-narrated video package talks about titles as something important. IC Title triple threat starts off and in a nice touch, they show each guy doing well in ladder matches. I'll give WWE credit - the video packages showing guys excelling at ladder matches is a good idea that helps strengthen the stip. Jeff going for a grounded...chinlock ish thing in a ladder match? Oh, it's to do a wacky bulldog/lariat combo to both guys. Okay.
Sami takes six months worth of bumps in one match here. Sami takes more crazy bumps and Jeff gets helluva kicked into the VIRTUAL WWE UNIVERSE. AJ javelins a ladder into Sami and Jeff climbs up and then gets dropped to the floor after a weird inverted walk down it before Sami shoves it down. SWANTON OFF THE TOP OF A LADDER TO SAMI ON THE FLOOR! AJ CLIMBS AND JEFF SHOVES HIM DOWN! Sami pulls two pairs of cuffs out of his jacket Sami loops one through Jeff's ear piercing. Sami cuffs himself to AJ and then frees himself with a key and cuffs AJ to the ladder. SAMI WINS IT! They killed themselves in this and it was...decent? Sami says he didn't recapture the title - HE RETAINED HIS TITLE.
A recap airs of Truth on the pre-show in disguise and now he's walking backstage in the ref's room. Drew does Backlund steps backstage and schoolboys him to win the 24/7 Title. Drew winning the 24/7 Title via BACKLUND STEPS backstage is something else. Actually, Backlund should win it while walking to the THUNDERDOME one day and happening upon the champ. Zelina and Asuka are up. Zelina gets 2 off a schoolboy, but a cradle and then Asuka getting the Kana Lock out of the cradle ends it. Zelina won't shake and bows and then beats her up.
Crews vs. Lashley is up and THIS BELT LOOKS SO GOOD ON LASHLEY! Lashley takes a flying...something in the rope and has a delayed sell. Crews gets a standing SSP and a frog splash gets 2. Yokosuka cutter hits and THE HURT LOCK ends it. THE HURT LOCK is somehow a worse name than THE FULL-LASHLEY!
Andrade and Garza are out for match 5,000 with the Street Profits. Tom hypes the match up BY SAYING IT'S STALE AND THEY'VE BEEN FEUDING SINCE BEFORE MANIA. Jesus. They at least sell it as the heels getting along now without Zelina stirring the pot. Okay, I dig that - solid storytelling there. SHOTGUN KNEES miss in the corner for Andrade. SPANISH FLY TO FORD BY GARZA GETS 2! DISTRACTION SCHOOLBOY GETS 2 FOR THE HEELS! SHOTGUN KNEES TO FORD AFTER HE TAKES OUT DAWKINS FOR 2! Annointment hits for 2..3...okay 3. WHY THE FUCK IS ROMAN STILL IN THESE PSAS!?
Drew dedicates his title win to Tozawa, who was eaten by a shark. Truth jumps him and pins him. Bayley wants a forfeit win BUT ASUKA IS OUT TO ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE - so she could be a double champ here. Asuka kicks her ass but Bayley uses a chair for a DQ and then Sasha hits Bayley with a chair. WWE Title match is up. Show pulls on Orton's leg and CHOKESLAMS HIM THROUGH AN ANNOUNCE TABLE! WILL BIG SHOW TURN HEEL TONIGHT!? CHRISTIAN JUMPS RANDY ORTON AND GETS PHYSICAL! Orton rakes the eye and slams Drew on the windshield! They fight on the roof and Drew's back is all sliced up - and it looks cool. Kneeling by Drew leads to a knee to the jaw by Orton. HBK returns with a superkick and sends Orton off the roof. Drew goes to fireman's carry him in, but Orton escapes and RKOs him. Orton SHUTS A DOOR, but Orton's cocky and leaves himself open. Drew does the casket closing door spot and goes to the eyes like Orton did earlier. CLAYMORE HITS! Drew could win BUT HE WANTS A PUNT! Okay, the Punt as the finish was great. This greatly exceeded expectations.
Roman's out with his usual pants but without the top and looks great. Roman talks tons of shit and JEY LANDS A SUPERKICK PARTY FOR 2. Somehow, we get a rocking Thunderdome with claps. Roman avoids the splash and Roman hits a Ruff Ryder for 2. SUPERKICK AND THE BIG SPLASH IHTS FOR 2.9! Jey...somehow got low blowed hard and a replay shows Roman low-blowing him off the cover. Big spear hits for Roman and he gets up and shakes his fist. Roman says Jey brought The Chief out here and he wants him to call him Chief. Jey won't do it and Roman tells him to do it and he spears him again. Heyman shows mercy and says that Roman is HIS chief - but Roman only wants Jey to say it and lays down the lumber in a ground and pound. Roman goes all Brock-ish elbow on him and WANTS HIM TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIM!
Jimmy comes out to throw in the towel and Jey tells him to not tell him he's the chief. Jey can take the ass whooping - but can't live with Roman winning like "that". Roman rains more shots down and Jimmy throws it in. Jimmy says he's the chief - just leave him alone. Oh, and they made Jey a main event-level act in ONE FUCKING MATCH HERE. Maybe Jimmy too, and Roman is just THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE ON EARTH. Heyman's egging him on too...all of this was fantastic and a great use of time.
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