WWF Summerslam 1991

It's time for one of my favorite shows of all time even if it isn't the best bell-to-bell - Summerslam '91! It's got the match made in heaven with Savage and Liz and the match made in Hell with Warrior and Hogan facing Slaughter's triangle of terror - and Sheiky and Adnan in the ring in '91 is a good use of the word terror. Steamboat's intro has held up nicely and Piper saying that everyone's "geared up for Summerslam" as Bulldog poses is pretty fitting.

Steamboat is a face in peril against Roma before getting some nice armdrags. Steamboat works with everyone after Kerry does...things resemblng punches during an arm wrench. Davey works with Warlord and neither guys budges on stuff because they're damn near immobile. Roma gets the repeated backbreakers to Steamboat and Warlord and Steamboat work so well together here. TREMENDOUS sequence where they go so much out of A SINGLE BACK CLUB.

 
Hennig and Tolos are backstage and Hennig cuts a great promo on him. The Coach is an all-time terrible use of great talent. This gimmick was so bad, it killed Tolos' confidence and he blamed himself for THIS not getting over. Perfect takes a deep armdrag and manages to take a spin bump off a hiptoss. Well if you're going in like this is your last match, fuck it - just go all out. Hennig grabs the hair and Bret does the same off a headlock takedown, but says he just moved his head back.

 
Bret teases a sharpshooter after catching the foot and sends him down for a stomp. Hennig takes a flip bump over the top for a lariat over the rope. He's all painkillered up and gives no fucks. Bret gets sent into a photographer before fighting with Hennig mid-ring and gets 2 off an O'Connor roll. Big corner chop by Perfect before Bret takes a back bump into the buckle as well he took a chest bump into them.

Perfect necksnap and a dropkick sends Bret outside. They tease a superplex to the floor but Bret gets knocked into the rope. Big go-behind sleeper by Hennig with Bret elbowing out and going for a crucifix, but Hennig Samoan drops him for 2. PERFECT PLEX GETS 2 and a massive pop. The "let's go Bret" chants bulit up nicely to this moment. Hennig slugs away, but gets beaten to the punch. Hennig gets...not quite crotched on the post, but that's how they sell it.

Bret gets 2 off a neckbreaker while Gorilla blames the poor cover for the kickouts. Bret hits the big elbow for 2.5 and I don't know if that was ever shot as well as it was here. Perfect cradles him for 2 and they brawl on the floor. Bret slugs Coach and gets the rope kicked into his balls. Hennig goes for a legdrop and nails it,  but a "LET'S GO BRET" chant breaks out, so he does it again BUT GETS LOCKED IN THE SHARPSHOOTER! He submits right away and Bret tears his singlet off. PERFECT match to get a guy over with. An ad airs for a Hogan PPV SHOWING THE IRON SHEIK on the same show he's doing the Mustafa gimmick.

Backstage, Gene chats with Andre and the Bushwackers as we see Quake take Andre's knee out. Butch bites Typhoon's ass and then he gets slung into Quake. WHY ISN'T QUAKE JUST KILLING THEM! Things plod for-ever and thankfully Piper creates interesting verbiage to keep SOMETHING interesting. Typhoon gets a shoulder-mount backbreaker and Heenan leaves to talk to Hogan. BATTERING RAM TO BOTH GUYS. Luke eats a shot to the back and Quake squashes him and that's that. They go to threaten Andre, but LOD comes out for a save to setup a feud with the Disasters. Quake was only 35 when he came back to the WWF in '98 - so he was YOUNGER THAN DREW MCINTYRE IS NOW. Unreal.

Heenan is at "Hulk"'s dressing room door. This whole bit is amazing. "On behalf of the real World Champion, I would like to challenge you...(door slams) TURN THAT CAMERA OFF. TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!" Savage chats to a fan on "the hotline" and he won't give a fan the honeymoon info because HE'S GOTTA STOP A RUMOR! Sean Mooney talks with Ted and we get clips of him being a raging asshole to him to set up the split. BOY DOES THIS RICH WHITE GUY WITH A BLACK MANSERVANT play even worse now than it did then. "YOU CAME TO CHALLENGE THE MASTER" is perhaps the worst wording for this.

Piper gets in some great lines about kissing Sherri and things becoming a shrub if you don't shave for a week. Then he says he spent an hour and a half with Virgil - drinking skim milk, of course. Virgil runs wild and sends DiBiase ass over teakettle with a lariat over the rope. ATOMIC DROP SENDS TED OVER THE TOP! They talk about Sherri losing her meal ticket here.

Ted tosses him into the steps. Piper talks about his strategy with Virgil and this all adds to the story of the match. Ted goes up top and hits a double sledge for 2 and then corner chops him. Virgil gets the Dream on, but Sherri clocks him with her loaded purse to cause a DQ. The ref goes to the Fink and says HE COULD DQ THEM, but he won't. He'll send Sherri to the back and will restart the match. Ted eats more of a beating and he throws Virgil int o the ref in the corner. This is such a great match.

Ted talks shit to Piper and Ted gets nuclear heat OFF A SUPLEX. Another one leads to Piper talking about Virgil talking to his parents about winning. A THIRD SUPLEX defats Piper. Ted gets a piledriver and counts his own pin before booting the ref down and talks more shit to Piper. He takes the turnbuckle pad off and goes to throw him in, but Virgil reverses and slams his head in a bit and then once more for good measure. Virgil gets a cover with NOTHING LEFT and wins it! The Millon Dollar Belt never meant more than it did here.

Gene meets with Mountie and we get a recap of him abusing Bossman with the shock stick. He says when Bossman loses, he wants them to not do it the New York way - he wants them to be violent. They need to shackle him and throw away the key. Billion-star punches by Bossman here, just tremendous. Not just in his execution, but his variety. He had jabs, hooks, uppercuts, and threw palm strikes in for good measure.

Sliding punch by Bossman leads to Mountie getting an eye poke. Bossman catches him and does a thumbs up, thumbs down bit to get a great reaction - GETS A GREAT REACTION and spinebusters him. More guys need to steal the catch>thumbs up-thumbs down bit because it gets over instantly. Jimmy distracts Bossman and Mountie tosses him into the steps. Mountie gets a leaping back elbow and Bossman tosses him out to the floor off a cover at 2. Mountie gets a shitty piledriver, but can't follow up because he's tired. Mountie goes for the stick and Bossman uppercuts him from the back. Mountie does TWO LEAPFROGS but eats an uppercut AND THE BOSSMAN SLAM FOR 2.9! Mountie goes for another piledriver, but the pre-Alabama slam hits and ends it!

Mountie gets his downed fists locked up and Bossman helps the cops drag him to the paddy wagon. "YOU'RE HURTING ME. OW!" Mountie kicks the windows and gets shackled. This is all tremendous. They show EVERYTHING here with Mountie just being wheeled out and tiny touches like this really make the events matter. Ted throws a bitch fit before Bret cuts a promo about this being the best day of his career. The Disasters cut a promo on Andre and Bossman talks to Mooney about JAILBIRDS CAN'T FLY! Bossman says HE PROMISED EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD IN AMERICA THAT HE'D WIN and he did. Goddamn - NOW THAT'S HOW YOU GET A FACE OVER.

 

Gene talks while Randy talks on the 900 line STILL and Gene wants to pitch to Liz. Piper and Heenan trade barbs and talk about Sid being up to something. The wagon arrives and Mountie bitches and moans more and Jimmy complains more. LOTS of filler here and now it's time for the Nasty Boys vs. LOD. Knobbs and Sags cut loud, shouty promos. MOUNTIE'S PHOTO IS TAKEN and they get so much out of this. We get a classic bit with Mountie saying "you want the finger? HERE'S THE FINGER!" and then Gene talks to Sid about some footage they got earlier in the day of the heels talking to Sid and he says yeah, they talked because they stopped him. Justice will be served.

Nasty Boys are out and I have zero recollection of the Nasty Boys fangirl with the Cabbage Patch Kids dressed like them. LOD jumps them amd we get a great brawl. SAGS SMACKS HAWL WITH A DRINK TRAY in my favorite part of the match. Hawk is a shockingly great face in peril here. Flying Sags elbow to the balls gets 2. Knobbs goes for a splash but eats feet to the face. Animal tags in and runs wild. More slugging back and forth  leads to Knobbs ALMOST eating a helmet shot when Animal moves out of the way, but he stops shot and gets hit in the back for 2. Hawk kicks Jimmy and helmets both guys

Mountie is walked around and he says he'll walk - and he tries to bail with TONS OF COPS AROUND. He's thrown into his cell and they shill the Survivor Series. It's amazing how much mileage the company got out of an event that was just made to fuck with their competitor. IRS vs. Valentine is up in a filler match of all filler matches. At least Valentine's theme is great. There will be chinlocks, stalling, and an abdominal stretch with the ropes being held. Piper mocking IRRWINN's name is great. Long headlock leads to another one and they brawl on the floor. THIS KILLS THE CROWD DEAD. Abdominal stretch with the rope and he lands some elbows. Big sleeper by IRS and Heenan gets in more shots at Piper's parents. Figure four by Valentine, but IRS makes it to the rope and Hammer yanks him and misses the elbow. He goes for the figure 4 but gets cradled to end it. Mercifully.

We get another Hogan PPV ad and a Hogan/Warrior promo as Hogan puts himself over for being THE GUY since 1984. Gorilla puts over Hogan as the greatest champion in WWF history in a match with TWO OTHER FORMER CHAMPIONS and the heir to Hogan's own throne, WHO BEAT HOGAN FOR THE TITLE. Man did this bury Warrior six feet deep. Match is glacial and Slaughter gets slow motion nerve holds. Warrior works with Sheiky and Warrior HITS A SUPLEX. Slaughter cannon to Warrior. Warrior chases the stooges to the back with a chair and Hogan uses powder and a legdrop to win.

Sid and Hogan pose for a while and we get a last look at the Mountie and his cellmate who just happens to be a fan of how leather feels against his body. We get a recap of Savage wanting to get in the ring one more time at Summerslam TO MARRY LIZ! They didn't keep the original music, which is a shame because the replacement is absolutely terrible and nowhere near as good as "Together".

 

We get more filler for the ring change and then massive intros. Savage's white and gold getup is great - BUT THE FEATHER ON THE HAT. My God it's the best. They kiss to "Pomp and Circumstance", but sadly, this doesn't have the Coliseum video footage of Savage being attacked by Jake and Taker and the snake to set up Survivor Series and his in-ring return. There's no reason for it to not just be included as bonus footage, but it's not here.