Impact 9-30-15 Rundown

The opening Everyone Talks segment droned on even longer than Raw because of how out of nowhere everything in it was. LOLed at Roode talking about how important the KOTM Title was. Also loved Dixie looking forward to Bobby vs. Bobby on Twitter...by tweeting about the wrong Bobby. Can she please just wait one second to see who she is writing to ever?

The X division 3-way was short, but super-fun. Lee, Z, and Ciampa shined brightly. LOLed so hard at EY eating mid-card finishers. It was a fine blowoff for that...and then of course it led to HIM BEING ANNOUNCED AS KURT ANGLE'S RETURN OPPONENT ON PPV. This was a really stupid way to get there. I did love Anderson saying he was so glad to finally find God though - that ruled. Main event sucked.

http://www.f4wonline.com/tna-news/tna-impact-9-30-tv-results-matt-hardy-ec3-tomasso-ciampa-bfg-go-home-show-198811

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OH NO, I'VE BEEN...slightly grazed by something!
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#knockoutsrevolution
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WWE Raw 9-28-15

Great wacky Kane/Seth recap starts things off. Cena's out for the US Title open challenge too! Xavier plays his theme on the trombone and a giant CUM sign is behind Cena using Cena and U can't see Me. Cena jumps him with a lariat. Damn you Cena, you've injured Xavier's tromboning mouth! Xavier rebounds and gets an inverted suplex for 2. Cena Eats Defeat for 2. Cena gets the STF for a near tapout, but New Day interferes before the Dudleys fly in. Well, Bubba flies in and Devon does stuff. Holla Holla six man is made during the break by Kane...who has a job because I guess they can't fire him due to a split personality.

Everyone does whatever. Big E gets a big splash and Kofi steals a pin on Devon - so I guess the Dudleys are winning in NYC. If they're going to win them, that's the right setting to do it in. HR Girl Ashley meets with Steph and HHH about Kane getting an anonymous complaint. Seth has a suspiciously specific denial about it being via e-mail. Dean and Roman have a chat - not even Dean can deliver WWE Exposition well. Mark Henry's out to get destroyed by Big Show. Yup. Big punch finish. I liked Henry struggling to get up - told a nice story there.

MizTV features Miz highlighting his scarf - it's an infinity scarf. And then Charlotte called Becky "Becks" a bunch. TONS of bad acting here with Team Bella and CB. And then Paige came out and they all bickered and brawled. What in the fuck did this do to help anyone? Team PCB reunites for...this...after one week. Well, Brie could've broken her neck there off of a double hiptoss. Jesus. Charlotte gets pushed into Paige, who leaves and then Nikki beats Charlotte with the rack attack. JBL for some reason says "chaos brings ladders".  2K16 ad.

Brock-Show hype video recaps their history. PTPs are down to face the Wyatts. Titus gets choked out by Strowman. Stardust is out to face...Neville!? Boy howdy. Barrett returned and elbowed Neville, so he attacks Stardust too since he was attacked by him too. Not sure where Stardust's goons are. Ashley and Kane are mid-ring right before 10 for some talking. Seth comes out to talk and play a new Kane video package. Kane replays a video of...himself being buried by Seth. Seth is determined to be vain, while Kane is sane, and eats a cheapshot and a Pedigree. Kane gets the bag leg Pillmanized and he's taken to an ambulance that then fills with smoke and Kane hobbles out.

Orton squashes Bo. Yup. This match was worth the hours of time Orton spent away from his family in airports alone.Rusev vs. Owens breaks down due to a Ryback brawl with everyone. WWE plays this bizarre video of Ellen and WWE folks dancing to...support/raise awareness for pediatric cancer. Paul cuts a promo and Show intimidates him. They announce the Summerslam return to Brooklyn for a while. Roman's out for the main event.

Bray's out with his goons, so of course Roman talks. Roman dominates and we come back to a chinlock. Roman gets his comeback, but Bray gets the bodyblock. Crowd doesn't care about any of this. Bray hits him with the steps, they get a double countout or DQ and brawl. Bray bodyblocks him through the barricade and the crowd chants that it's awesome. In a cool bit, Bray celebrated on the table and GOT SPEARED THROUGH IT BY ROMAN! Spear spot was cool. Roman can really hit Y for his comeback, signatures, and finishers. 


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Impact 9-23-15 Rundown

Really good show overall. The five way was the best showcase yet for Bram at the worst possible time, but made Drew look like a credible threat to the title. The Jeff-EC3 stuff was fine, and EC3-Spud was another great match between them. Gail vs. Jade was good, and the best-worked women's match in the company in quite a while.

http://www.f4wonline.com/tna-news/tna-impact-wrestling-923-tv-report-eciii-vs-rockstar-spud-161181

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Knockouts Revolution

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WWE Raw 9-21-15

Bray starts the show with a promo. Roman and Dean face the B-team, leading to a DQ thanks to Bray and Orton comes in for the save. Seth-Sting recap after this. Amusing skit with Kane not remembering what happened last night - wacky Kane is great. "YOU THE MAN SETH, GO GET Him!" Fuck Off Stardust and his goons against Neville and the Dragons. SDS wins. Seth talks to mommy and daddy and complains. Thankfully, mommy and daddy help him out and tell him to use the Cena rematch as a chance to regain his title. Cole talks about Owens winning his first title in WWE...odd since he was ON THE MAIN ROSTER AS NXT CHAMPION.

Ryback beats Bo. Charlotte came out and celebrated with Ric. Paige rants about there being no revolution and Charlotte just being a placeholder. This was a great sorta-heel turn, although she made tons of great points. Brie-Charlotte is up. JBL says that Becky will "get her turn" and Charlotte beats Brie, whose pants kept falling down. Herny vs. Sheamus has Sheamus miss the kick once, and it hits again for the win. KANE HAS A WORLD'S GREATEST DIRECTION OF OPERATIONS MUG! Kane has no gosh darned idea why people are so confused to see him. He does apologize in advance for maybe jumping the gun on Cena-Seth tonight. He doesn't remember being there last night, and Steph says to not insult their intelligence and wants to know where the mask is. Kane has no idea, but he'll start searching now. This needs to be Kane's full-time character. Paige-Nattie backstage bit with Paige's cleavage all over the place. 

New Day and Rusev against Dolph and the Dudleys. Great bit with Woods playing Rusev's theme on the trombone! Rusev kicks Dolph's face off to win. Nattie loses to Naomi via She Calls it the Rear View. Seth meets with mommy and daddy again. Daddy is tired of Seth's bitching. They recap Show killing Cesaro before he kills Cesaro again. Cesaro got a suplex and the chain of uppercuts, but that's it. Wyatts promo on Orton. House show Cena vs. Seth match is up.Cena EATS A HIGH FLY FLOW AND JUST GETS UP AND AAs him for the win. What in the fuck. Corporate Kane gets on the tron to distract Seth from Kane coming up through the ring to take him to hell. Okay then.

 

 

 
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WWE Night of Champions

Cable went out for a couple of days, so I missed this live. A neighbor apparently cut my cable line in two places, so Comcast came out today and fixed that up. Owens vs. Ryback starts the show off. I like Owens working the arm in unique ways with the post, and cheating to win the title. The GO TO HELL TOUR IS ANNOUNCED! He'll be on the Austin podcast and main eventing HIAC with Taker. Dolph's new '92 Catwoman getup is odd. Dolph wins after a mis-timed shoe throw by Summer, OR WAS IT!? So the drama.

YES NEW DAY! YES NEW DAY! Xavier's got new wacky red hair. LIKE A GOOD TABLE, NEW DAY IS THERE. THAT BOY CAN SING! I love this being a Coming to America tribute act. Kofi's new SAVE THE TABLES dance is hilarious. Nasty back suplex by Bubba to Big E. Scary superplex too. New Day retains thanks to Xavier's interference. Woods eats the table! Nikki-Charlotte is up and Nikki has added bending over to his intro - totally fine with that. Charlotte has nixed the booty shorts, which is probably good since she has no ass. Nice snap suplex into the ropes from Nikki. Nikki jumps off the top and sorta eats a spear and Figure 8 for the win.

 

 Jericho and the sorta-Shield against the Wyatts. Not much of a match here, but fun - Braun beat Jericho with the head and arm choke after he blind tagged his way in. The idea was he was a bit of a gloryhog, but it cost him and the team. Seth's got his white and gold PPV gear on for the Cena match. WWE bragged about Stewart getting an Emmy with their AA clip. I liked Cena catching the foot off a blind kick and then doing the Code Red. JBL got in a mention of his matches with Cena during that. Superkick to the gut and jaw leads to 2 for Seth. AA hits and Cena wins the US Title. Cena AAs Seth on the floor, which really does make Seth a sympathetic character.

Sting's out in his singlet without a shirt - so I guess he was saving this for the PPV. Seth flew around nicely for Sting. They go to the floor and fight on the table - Sting is shoved through the SAP table and he hits his head on a monitor. Seth gets a corner elbow and a Falcon Arrow for 2. Stinger splash hits and he goes for corner punches, but eats a scary buckle bomb. Seth picks him up and Sting just collapses trying to continue. Ugh. Bad move from Seth - accidental in both the move and the post-move, but let the guy recover. The doc clears Sting for the finish, where he gets the deathlock, but eats a kick and then gets cradled trying to go for the deathlock again. Given that Sting won his first World title with a submission-countering cradle, this was a nice bit of storytelling that they paid no mind to at all. And then they teased a cash-in, but Kane prevented it by kicking both their asses. Okay then.

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TNA Impact 9/16/15 Rundown

The opening 12 minute promo between Jeff and Dixie was awful, but at least had Karen's nipples as a redeeming feature. THEN WE GOT A VIDEO PACKAGE RECAPPING HOW GREAT TNA USED TO BE! Shera vs. Abyss peaked with Bigfoot dancing. Knockouts four way had some fine fanservice and scary bumps thanks to Tapa not knowing what the fuck she's doing. All of the Jeff-EC3 stuff was amusing, and they even added in some homoerotic subtext to the whole deal. Lethal Lockdown was nearly an hour of nothing beyond some bad commentary and forgettable wrestling. They did at least give it time though, and the post-match at least felt like a big deal in theory.

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/100-tna/44546-tna-impact-wrestling-916-live-tv-results-lethal-lockdown-for-control-of-tna


Quotes -

EC3 - Jeff - COME NOW!

EC3 - Jeff's shaking his little tush on the catwork.

EC3 - Jeff, are you going for some backdoor action!?

Pope - There's no bias here - I'M STANDING BEHIND TNA!

Josh - The monitors backstage are sold out!

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WWE Raw 9-14-15

Recap of Statuegate. I hope HHH talks about how Sting couldn't beat him and how Seth isn't half the man he is. HHH and Steph pose next to the Connor's Cure sign on the ramp. WHY ISN'T KING A COMMENTATOR IN MEMPHIS INSTEAD OF BYRO-BOT? Steph and HHH exposited with WWE buzzwords. Steph and HHH exposit using endless WWE Words for 20 minutes. Sting is wrestling on Raw with no hype. And ratings are down?! Sting vs. The Giant - vintage Nitro! HHH does the DX ntro to be both the top heel and face in one segment. New gear for New Day and NEW DANCE FOR XAVIER! Steph is doing the Elaine dance and HHH is clapping. Oh my.

Great start with Xavier distracting the ref with the trombone so Kofi could trip DY, and then going OH MY, DA-RREN WHAT HAPPENED TO DA-RREN! XAVIER PLAYED THE PINK PANTHER THEME WHILE E SNUCK UP! GREATNESS! Such a super-fun match here, and the right team wins with cheating. New Day dances gloriously after the win and Dudleys come out to cut a promo that can't be heard over the commentary. Well, there's also the trombone and New Day's theme too.

HHH and Steph congratulated themselves over their dancing and Seth said that Sheamus will take out Cena while Show takes out Sting. Paige is out wearing the This is My House shirt over her ass. There's a home invasion joke in there somewhere. Great little match here to start. Lots of arm work by Sasha. They yammer on about "the sports world" with women before Cole talks about the "sports entertainment world". Paige takes Sasha to suplex city with a German sending her to the floor. They cut this way short and only do one big spot after that - a somersault senton that missed via a huge telegraph and then Sasha gets the backstabber and the win. Good while it lasted, but too short.

 

 Connor video package is great for him, but really came off as WWE putting themselves over and of course, HHH and Steph were out of character for it. Cena's out, then Sheamus. This is a perfectly functional matches that is eliciting zero emotions from me. They mixed things up a tad by having Cena do the chest clubs to Sheamus. So one of Sheamus's signature moves...powered Cena up and allowed him to hit his finisher? Wow.

Owens-Ryback recap from SD. Ryback sings a bit and in the middle of his promo, JBL yells about Ryback singing because I guess Vince yelled to do it. Owens came out with The Secret, and he says he can read better than Ryback can - and he feels sorry for him. He misses a book kick, so he throws it in Ryback's face. Ryback says that Owens's story is inspirational - and it is, and they've never told it.

 Stardust is out with his new cape to team with his goons against Neville and the Lucha Dragons. Faces runs wild for a minute before the goon drag Stardust away for a countout. Wow. Nikki promo video makes it clear that Nikki is a heel...for at least this segment.

 

Charlotte comes out with her pals - ditto Nikki. So now Cole, the face, is backing up the heel argument. How odd. Nikki works over the arm for a bit before an ad break. After more arm work and some asscrack reveals from Nikki, Charlotte beats Brie to beat Nikki. VINTAGE UNCENSORED '95 - only instead of Hogan beating Flair to beat Vader, Charlotte beat Brie to beat Nikki. Well, that's out they got Cena to agree to the loss I guess. Steph talks about "The integrity of the divas division"
So will this now be made into a gravy bowl match? Steph gives Charlotte the win...by DQ. This was crushing, and great as a story. Steph gives Charlotte her already-scheduled NoC match, but with a catch - a DQ will give Charlotte the title. So are Steph and HHH officially faces now or what? Charlotte's reactions worked for that finish. Legit didn't notice she had all that bling on her face until the post-match though.

 

 

 

Dolph vs. Rusev is announced for the PPV. They talk about MORE LAYERS OF EMOTIONS! There are like no layers in this thing at all. It's a bad high school drama with worse acting than High School Musical. Rusev's out to kill Cesaro. Cesaro wins after some chants in his direction, a Dolph distraction, and after some cool spots.

A new Connor's Cure video airs, and it's Team Bella heavy right after they were heels...I think. Wacky heel meeting in the back before Show-Sting. Amazing that we're seeing Sting's first match on Raw...and it got a whole 2 1/2 hours of build. Sting runs wild for a bit before Seth comes down to attack. Sting eats a beating, but Cena saves him. HHH turns it into a HOLLA HOLLA TAG MATCH PLAYA!

They do stuff for a while and tease IF CENA CAN SLAM SHOW. Sting got the hot tag and ran wild on Seth. He got the death drop, the deathlock and the win! So yeah, Seth's losing the US Title, but retaining the WWE Title at the PPV.

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TNA Impact 9-9-15 Rundown

Opening promo and tag match sucked. Taryn in lingerie ranting ruled. Rest of the show pretty much sucked ass, sadly. Drew vs. Mordetsky had a couple of cool things, like the chop exchange. Booking killed the show.

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/100-tna/44459-tna-impact-wrestling-99-results-a-recap-mordetsky-vs-galloway

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WWE Raw 9-7-15

Generic Raw intro starts - so this is just going to be a holiday filler show. No pyro either. Seth's out to talk. They're seemingly doing the WWE Title match before the US Title match - which is quite odd. Seth shocked EVERYONE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE WHEN HE KNOCKED CENA OFF THE WWE MOUNTAIN! After several more minutes of rambling, he gets a boring chant. Seth talks about his statue needing to be near the announcers. Seth's statue would probably do better commentary than JBL. Just give it a pullstring and see what happens. Sting DUSTS THE STATUE. 

 

 

 Such greatness. Sheamus comes out and gets insulted, so he and Seth argue for a bit. Sheamus is called Ronald McDonald and Sheamus says that's his family. This can only mean they're a team. Sheamus says he could have a third match at NOC. So Seth is now battling against 1-on-3 odds with two title matches...he's a face, right? Paige faces Sasha next.

BUT FIRST, Seth meets with Steph because he's worried and only she can solve his problems. HHH can't help him...and BY GOLLY, HE'S RIGHT BEHIND HIM. WUT WOAH sound effect was really needed there. HHH tells Seth he needs two matches to fill time...err...test him out before NOC. He faces Ryback in the first match, and he'll team with THE NEW DAY to face the PTPs and Cena. We get a couple of good minutes of action before a break.

The DIVAS REVOLUTION continues with a post-break chinlock thing. They had a pretty quick little match, with a weird finish. Naomi RAN IN and Sasha reversed the PTO into a cradle for a win...even though both sets of shoulders were down. Paige got a slick wheelbarrow suplex, but no one really shined more than Sasha here. Roman and Dean have a tag match next.

AGAINST THE ASCENSION!? DEAN AND ROMAN COME THROUGH THE CROWD!? Love it. Cole calls Viktor "Vintner" Roman gets a billion corner lariats, the Punch, and they win with the Doomsday Device. Roman pushes Dean to hit a spear, and Dean wins with the DDT. Fun match. Renee interviews Ryback, and they recapped him beating Show and now facing Seth.

The commentators do some goofy Dolph-Summer deal. #steamysensualstor I bet they might've even made whoopie by now. They're ripping off TMZ badly here. TM-Sleaze did a better job of doing this than WWE. Seth gets a jobber intro and Ryback gives the title to a Make a Wish kid. That was cute to see. Ryback dominated for a bit with ARM HOLDS in some comedy, then Seth came back and started paintbrushing him to my amusement before posting him for an ad break.

After the break, Ryback sells the shoulder like Peter Griffin sold his knee and Seth locked on a chinlock. Ryback's "flyback" splash misses for 2. Seth takes a nasty bump for the suicide dive - he's killing himself to get a two star match out of Ryback. Seth is DISTRACTED BY A STATUE ON A VIDEO WALL AND HE LOSES. Ryback beat the double champ and sure gained nothing by it.

Sting did some more awesome comedy. He has the statue and put HIS MASK ON IT while going up and down out of frame. Sting is clearly getting hacking tips from his buddy Solomon Crowe too. GREATNESS FROM NEW DAY AND SETH! E and C come in. Wow, that Edge-Seth thing was nearly a year ago. And man does Edge look younger than Christian now. Dudleys defend Edge, and I just now realized that Bubba's giant arm tat says FAITH on it. THEN THEY SANG WITH NEW DAY. This ruled. Summer is now dressed like a very low-rent whore who found a "good" dress at a thrift store. 

 

"THE STORY THAT GRIPPED THE ENTIRE PLANET" AND NOW THEY'RE PLAYING THAT FUCKING VIDEO AGAIN. Rusev is out with his tracksuit jacket. Boo - Rusev should be wearing the world's biggest and wackiest tuxedo ever. Summer apologizes to Rusev and called him RURU. Dolph added more homoerotic subtext by saying Rusev's got a bikini wax. Sheamus and Orton do whatever for a bit and they go to a break.

 

 

Orton beats Sheamus in every match they've ever had with an RKO "outta nowhere". Wyatts beat him up and BRAUN STROWMAN destroys him with ease. Recap of Braun after the break. DUDLEYS ARE OUT to face the Matadores. After one of the bullfighters smacks the bull around, the Dudleys win with 3D while JBL brings up them being 24 time tag champs. The bull gets abused more before the Dudleys see JUST ABOUT ENOUGH and attack the evil bullfighters. I guess the bull is going to be Bull-y Ray or something.

Miz did some skit with Cesaro on the Network and now we have this match. Mostly comedy with Cesaro being great using JBL's hat as a prop and Miz running away from Big Show. Cesaro gets KOed for good measure. Ugh. Bella Army promo takes up some time. They're trying to get over "Bellabration" as a thing. Charlotte gets the spear and figure 8 - Charlotte-Nikki is now on Raw and not the PPV, due to an off-screen storyline petition.

Love Big E cranking on a headlock to the rhythm of the trombone. Cena eats a ton of offense before tagging Titus in, leading to the faces winning after a tag to Cena and an AA to Kofi. Really fun main event that at least put new guys in it - even if it didn't do a thing for the PTPs, New Day came off as a bigger deal being in this. Sting gets on the tron and reveals that....HE WAS IN FRONT A CURTAIN WITH A TRASH TRUCK! So Seth's statue was just a hollow copper thing? Shouldn't Seth be insulted since the Authority made it for him? 

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TNA Impact 9/2/15 Rundown

Impact peaked with the super-green video package that opened the show with Dixie as the wicked witch of the west. None of the matches were particularly good, and a lot of bizarre and illogical things happened. Oh, and the big invasion is over in two weeks. Hell of a run.

http://www.f4wonline.com/more/more-top-stories/100-tna/44360-tna-impact-92-live-tv-results-a-recap-roode-vs-black

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NXT 8-26-15

Well, this took a lot longer to get to than I was anticipating. I planned on covering the day after it aired, and then work and/or just recovering from work nixed that. Takeover recap. TEAM SAWFT is out to a huge reaction. Enzo's in baseball pinstripes and a Yankees shirt - greatness. They're teaming with the Hype Bros against the old school throwbacks and Jordan and Gable. Formula tag for eons until BIG CASS FIRES UP and they win with a rocket launcher.

 

Tremendous History of Emma video going over her rise, then fall on the main roster as a joke - even mentioning Santino, before becoming a big deal again on NXT. Charlotte and Becky exposit about Dana and Emma, while Becky says she isn't a fan of Australian shepard dogs. Charlotte Woo'd and they pinky swore - so lame. Becky Lynch hype video - if only they had 3+ hours to air this on Raw. Eva Marie's out with her shitty theme, but kick-ass robe. She's facing Carmella, who got a nice charity pop. Eva's cleavage is unimpressed.

Crowd chants "we want Blue Pants" during Eva's offense, which looks good-ish outside of the senton and doing the Cass and Enzo chants. Eva wins with Sliced Red #2. Breeze promo on Liger doesn't do much beyond saying he has a better idea for Regal. Dana Brooke hype video. Awesome post-match promo with Bayley backstage - I hope Rousey trademarked the Horsewomen name since WWE is now using it. Loved seeing her mom show up. Baron chats with Regal before "the Drifter" Elias Sampson comes down with an awesome theme song. Bull has a new BULL FIT robe! Bull's tummy is less big - good for him. Bull wins with a super bombs away butt splash.

 

Nia Jax vignette. Crews video about the Apollo Nation! TREMENDOUS angry faces from Alexa backstage. She cuts a promo on Blue Pants and wants to take her out of NXT. Four way women's main event. Emma's tiny blue shorts are just fine by me. This is the one with the botched finish - and Emma knocked Becky out with the corner splash. You can see her elbow hit her on the side of the head, and they played it off perfectly with everyone being surprised. Charlotte was supposed to win, but this was pretty darn seamless, and with Emma being a heel against a face Bayley, and their past together, it makes for a happy accident story-wise to give her a title shot anyway. Then Charlotte, the poor loser, attacks Emma with the facebuster and counts her own win. FUCK. OFF. Heels eat babyface finishers, which really makes Emma and Dana look bad. Ugh.

 

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