Matt Cardona's post-WWE run has been hit or miss - his AEW work didn't really inspire much, but he has looked great in Impact. His shining performance so far has been his surprise GCW run-in and turn to a heelish character that embraces being anti-hardcore as he wants his first World title in the form of GCW's. Marko's out and over as fuck and so is Starboy Charlie. Starboy looks great and I can see him on 205 Live any week now.
Test of strength and headlocks! HULK UP BY MARKO and a rana sends Starboy to the floor before a tope! Tilt a whirl backbreaker gets 1 for Starboy. Big uppercut by Starboy before Marko...unloads with a series of right hooks in the corner. Snake eyes gets 2 for Starboy and a German. Stunt avoids a superplex to the floor with double-knees to the knees. Apron-trap chest kick and uppercut by Starboy. RUNNING DVD TO THE CHAIR BY STARBOY!
Corner DVD by Marko! Kneeling forearms! DEADLIFT GUTWRENCH BY MARKO! Corner dropkick by Marko! HANSEN LARIAT BY MARKO! Sliced bread gets 2 and a massive FUCK YOU chant from the fans. 450 is avoided and Starboy hits a shotgun dropkick! Falcon arrow gets 2 for Starboy! Starboy wants a powerbomb, but Marko ranas him to win it! This was fun-sized! They hug and Marko is such a demi-god here. Damn!
Tony Deppen is out to big cheers with "We Built This City" as his anthem. Ninja Mack is out and looks like Han-zo Man. Mack and Deppen flip over one another before the wifi gets all wonky due to weather. Deppen catches an apron kick and he flips Mack to the floor, where Mack...kinda lands okay. Deppen catches the foot and eats ground and pound when he gets taken down. TRIPLE BACKFLIP INTO A MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR BY NINJA! Deppen gets an STF and Ninja backflip into nothing, but a chopblock by Deppen! Poison and then regular rana get 2 for Ninja! 630 BY MACK GETS 2.9 due to the rope. Head trap in the buckle knee shot by Deppen! Deppen dives off into a codebreaker! Phoenix 630 misses and a shining knee ends it! This ruled!
Nolan Edward is out to face AJ Gray, who gets an electric intro. They talk about Nolan being a shoot orphan and now being a part of the wild world of wrestling. Moonsault off the second to Gray by Nolan! Gray gets a spin wheel kick and CHOPS APLENTY. FOREARMS HIT and Nolan takes the mask off to deal out more damage. Gray gets a half-crab and lands a big lariat for 1 before SLAPS AND ANOTHER LARIAT! EMERALD FLOWSION BRAINBUSTER ENDS IT. JESUS THIS FUCKING RULED! Fans throw cash in the ring and both Prazak and Gill are glad that it isn't coins due to the shortage.
Grimm Reefer is out looking like he came out of a methadone clinic to face Scorpio, who was his generation's Ricochet. Fans are having a blast with Scorp dancing on the floor. Scorpio looks exactly as in and out of shape as I expected for 55. A you still got it/never lost it chant hits. They get some weed involved and Scorp takes a quick drag before Grimm gets the weed and gets a chronic crossface. Flipping legdrop senton off the second by Scorp gets 2. Another crossface leads to Scorp getting the rope. Reefer hits a springboard tope con hilo...kinda on the floor. Scorp eats a springboard DDT and swanton for 2. Knees to the gut and A PELE KICK BY SCORP! Moonsault/legdrop combo hits and Scorp wins it! Scorp gets a roach and wants a lighter. Scorp gives Reefer some weed to revive him.
Drew Parker hype video airs before his match and he is handsome and a bit different from the GCW norm. He's got his belt and Alex Colon is out with his for their title vs. title bout. Drew won the title LAST NIGHT and he's already here right from the airport. KIP UP INTO LIGHT TUBES TO THE DOME! Parker gets put in a chair and hit with a double tube shot TO THE CHEST that just explodes on him. DARTS DARTS THREE DARTS TO THE FUCKING BACK OF COLON! Tubes to the back of Parker!
Forehead slices after glass to the eyes of Parker. Fenix swing into a cutter by Parker. LIGHT TUBE LOG CABIN AND A SUPER IMPALER ONTO THE LOG CABIN! SLEEPER SUPLEX ONTO LIGHT TUBE BITS! DVD INTO THE SHOWER DOOR AND THE SHOWER DOOR SHOOTS ON HIM! Parker gets tossed through it and eats shotgun knees for 2.
Glass pane bridge! SHORT DVD ON THE RING FRAME and we see just how much Parker is bleeding. SUPERPLEX ON THE GLASS AND A SWANTON GETS 1! BURNING HAMMER OFF THE TOP THROUGH A BARB WARE GLASS PANE FOR 2! TUBE SWANTON! RNC OR SOME KINDA SHIT IS ON BY PARKER! COLON LOSES. Goddamn this was insane! After seeing Drew Parker, a good-looking dude, do all this for two alphabet soup belts, I just think of Jerry Lynn saying that with the ECW World title and $1, he could get a coffee. He wants Alex to come to Japan to do this again and he's down with it. Parker will face Jimmy Lloyd tomorrow!
INTERMISSION T IME! Jordan Oliver's out for a scramble. Brayden Lee is out to "Mr. Sandman" while Dante Leon comes out and then Jack Cartwheel before Shane Mercer is out to add BEEF! Atticus Cogar comes out to a sea of bird flips. He gets a fuck Ohio chant, and Cogar gets tossed around by Mercer. Mercer hits a catch powerslam on Cogar. Double suplex! JORDAN JUMPS OFF OF COGAR'S BACK OFF OF MERCER'S F5 ATTEMPT! DOUBLE SSPS AND LEE MISSES HIS SSP! Mercer tosses Dante off the top with a press slam! SKEWERS TO THE HEAD, but he's up and just tosses fuckers around! ATTICUS HITS A LOW BLOW AND WINS. This was insane!
JIMMY FUCKING LLOYD is over. G Raver is out and we've got partners that don't like each other. Second Gear Crew is out to "Walk" which RVD made over so many years ago in wrestling. Raver gets a flip dive to start. Mance Warner gets sliced up and chairshots Lloyd. DOORS are in the ring now. MANCE'S TONGUE GETS STAPLED TO THE DOOR! HIPTOSS TO THE DOOR and it sends the door off his tongue! Bloody door bridge in the corner.
They hype up if you buy MDK merch, you might even get a call from him. A fan has an extra large sparkly pizza cutter. The commentators ponder which figures would make better shanks. Gage-Cardona recap features Matt saying Zack Ryder is fucking dead! Cardona comes out to OH RADIO OG mix! Hahaha! He switched it to his new theme and then comes out flipping the bird surrounded by security. This is great. This feels like an old ECW show here.
Ryder is as red as a lobster and Gage gets his epic intro and hits a spinebuster and "puts the boots to the doll collector". Gage gets tubes and goes face-first and a WOO WOO BOO boot! They brawl! Fan chair usage and THE SPARKLY PIZZA CUTTER hits! Cardona tosses him around and WANTS A COUNTOUT! Suicide dive by Ryder! LIGHT TUBE TO THE HEAD and it's a gentle shot by Ryder. Perfect!
Pump elbow by Gage! Gage gets a pane of glass and covers it in his blood before putting it in the corner. Big boot gets 2. Ryder should become Eugene and just do WWE finishers all match for 1. Ryder talks shit and GETS SPEARED THROUGH GLASS! LIGHT TUBES TO THE HEAD! PIZZA CUTTER AND ACROSS ALL FOUR SIDES! Jesus!
MORE PIZZA CUTTER and they mock him for using Just For Men and Rogaine. Glass bridge on the chairs! Gage goes up and GETS A TUBE TO THE BACK! SUPERPLEX FROM MATT OFF THE TOP THROUGH THE GLASS! TIGER DRIVER BY CARDONA GETS 2.5! "Judas" hits but no Jericho! RYDER GETS A CODEBREAKER FOR 2! Piledriver chain! 44OH guys come out to attack Gage. Ricky Shane Page is out and calls them off and he teams with Gage! DOUBLE CHOKEBREAKERS! IT'S A SWERVE BALLSHOT BY RSP!
TUBES TO THE FACE BY CARDONA! ROUGH RYDER HITS AND RYDER WINS IT! TREMENDOUS! This whole night was a blast! He gets doused in garbage and drinks! You've got to give it up to Cardona - he came here to prove a point and did so. He took one hell of a beating and right before getting hitched too.
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