It's WWE's first non-Mania PPV back with fans in about a year and a half - and it's a pretty solid card overall. Kayla talks about the building being sold out as they pan to tons of empty seats. We get a card rundown and then a FINK VOICEOVER for MITB matches in the past. Liv cuts a tremendous emotional promo about hopefully winning tonight. Wow - she was ungodly annoying on Friday, but was so heart-warming here.
Raw women's title hype leads to Raw tag title hype with JBL comparing Omos to Khali and saying you just can't do anything with guys that size. Well, that's accurate. Great Lashley-Kofi hype video. "This bullshit needs to stop now - BACK TO BUSINESS!" If this all leads to Lashley DEMANDING the return of the Hurt Business, I'm down with that. SD hype video makes that show feel like it was a big deal. WWE has a literal once in a lifetime chance to inject life into their product and instead chooses to just keep producing this lifeless drivel.
Miz and Morrison arrive with the drip sticks and Miz is such a great babyface here. McAfee is dressed as a cowboy and the Usos are out to face the Mysterios for the SD tag titles. Rey and Dom do a wacky Lucha Underground-ish bit where they're in slick suits near a portal and then come out of the portal into the arena. Goofy, but a good way to make them feel special.
MAIN EVENT JEY hits a corner splash to Rey. Dom dives onto the Usos on the floor, but they catch him and swing him around into the barricade. Rey gets a rana, but eats a kneeling superkick and a Samoan drop gets 2.9. Jey hits a superkick to Rey off the Shelton setup AND A SPLASH GETS 2! Cheating double team schoolboy with leverage on the apron gets the win for the Usos, who get a giant pop and then sudden boos. Great Roman-Edge hype video closes the pre-show.
Women's MITB to start things off. Alexa's out with a new giant tron that looks great and she's back in regular-ish gear. Nikki ASH needs to just be Ash or Cross because this A.S.H. moniker isn't working as a name. Giant tron intro works for Naomi and the AR masks for Asuka are cool. Zelina gets thrown around outside by Nattie. Alexa wants to use powers to get the case, but Asuka Germans her down. Stop trying to make NOBODY'S MEANA THAN TAMINA a thing. Tamina gets choked with the ladder and pushes Asuka up, but Liv hops on her side of the ladder and facebusters Asuka.
Nikki rolls under the ladder and eats the ladder to the stomach before Naomi high kicks Tamina during a Nattie-Liv tug of war. Lexi uses powers to make Zelina not toss her off the ladder. Naomi powerbombs Liv on Zelina on a corner ladder. Nikki gets front slammed on a ladder by Naomi. Nattie gets choked by Zelina up top and then Liv runs up and yanks Zelina's gear down and runs them off the ladder. That could've gone so badly. NIKKI ALMOST SUPERHERO!" is somehow worse than Nikki A-S-H Everyone fights up top and NIKKI WINS IT. Liv was heartbroken and that worked.
After all the filler with the intros, we get a recap of the pre-show match. Usos and Roman are backstage and he says he did all their heavy lifting. He brought Jey back and then locks on disappointed at Jimmy. The talents' trons literally just being a big logo is hit or miss - it feels like TNA '08 only on a much grander scale. Viking Raiders are out and we get a goofy Viking Raiders-Street Profits recap video. Jesus. Omos has zero presence. None. Zip. Zilch. Raider face Omos 2 on 1 and Omos beats them up. MASSIVE AJ chant here as he eats a beating in the corner. AJ eats a knee for 2. Omos no-sells a lariat and then...sells it randomly. Okay then sure why not. Corner avalanche by Omos to Ivar.
They run wild on AJ and Ivar lands a nice springboard lariat to AJ before Omos eats a beating and an Erik dive. Tree slam to Erik ends it. This was far better it should've been thanks to 3/4 of it being with great workers. Omos makes even a tree slam look awkward - although I like that unlike Khali, he at least follow through with the slam until the end so his opponent can control the landing better.
Kev meets with Drew and thankfully doesn't tell a wacky story beyond just winning the Rumble and beating Brock. He loved being the champ in the Thunderdome era, but would love to never have to hear the Thunderdome. AND EVERYONE LOVES DREW'S STORYTIME! THE ALL MIGHTY looks fantastic with this presentation. Then he gets an even better presentation kicking all sorts of ass before just walking out and getting massive pyro. Man, they're going next-level with Lashley and it works.
MVP grabs the foot, but Kofi gets a sunset flip for 2. Lashley military presses Kofi TO THE FLOOR. Lashley chucks him into the post like it's a video game. Lashley gets the Hurt Lock and turns it into a dragon suplex! Elevated flatliner hits! Hurt Lock is on and he's got him in a modified camel clutch position and it's over. THIS RULED. The Hurt Lock is so over!
Charlotte-Rhea is up and of course Rhea does HER STOMP. "When your blood type is gold..." is a great line for Charlotte. MASSIVE We want Becky chants throughout this. Charlotte flips her off, but they black that out. Rhea flips off the apron onto nothing and eats a shotgun dropkick to the barricade. Giant forearm from Charlotte leads to another Becky chant. Rhea missile dorpkick misses into a crab! Goofy "please help me through every part of this" suplex by Rhea off a front choke attempt gets 2. MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR by Charlotte!
Standing scorpion by Rhea. Riptide gets a DDT for 2. HARD CHOPS APLENTY by Charlotte before a Judas Effect gets 2 for Charlotte when the ref sees her feet on the ropes. SUPER NATURAL SELECTION FOR 2.9! Figure 4 gets countered into a Not-a-German into the mat, but not the buckle. RHEA GETS HER KNEE ATTACKED IN THE STEPS AND SHE TAPS TO THE FIGURE 8. Jesus. She looks so unhealthy skinny right now and wins it again.
Peacock shits the bed during a Peacock-centric ad and a WWE/Applebee's ad and a Boogs/Nak/Riddle promo. The stream gets worse, but funnier before a refresh works. Morrison hits a tornillo off the ladder to Nakamura! Nak gets a triangle armbar to JoMo on the ladder and Seth knees him. DOUBLE SUPLEX TO OWENS ON AN UPRIGHT SIDE OF THE LADDER. STOP TAKING STUPID SPINE BUMPS, OWENS. Jesus. Johnny's Impact elbow on a ladder misses by a mile. RKO BY RIDDLE! DOUBLE CLAYMORE FUTURE SHOCK TO E.
Inverted Alabama slam to Ricochet into a ladder by Drew. Countdown Claymore to Seth! Veer and Shanky prevent Drew from winning! They take him out and Riddle climbs, but Ricochet ropewalks and Spider-Man jumps before Riddle sends him off into the pile on the floor. RKO TO E BY RIDDLE! RKO OFF THE LADDER! Stomp by Seth! GTS BY NAKAMURA! Stunner and pop-up powerbomb by KO and he climbs. INSIDE OUT BOMB BY SETH THROUGH THE LADDER BRIDGE TO KO! SUPER BIG ENDING BY E TO SETH!
Seth complains more and says that he's next in line for whoever wins between Edge and Reigns. So I guess that's a thing he can do now. 20 billion years of intros here before we get a slap from each to fill way too much time. Edge rides him and slaps him. More staring. Big Daddy could tell them to quicken the pace a bit here. Jesus. Glacial pace so far. Edge posts the shoulder a few times. Knee to the back by Edge sends Reigns out and Edge eats a Samoan drop on the floor. Long clubbering and then a long cravate on the mat. Jesus. Roman then turns that into a chinlock to talk more shit. Goddamn is this boring. Spear attempt by Reigns, but Edge backslides him for 2. Edge gets an Edge O Matic for 2. Impeler DDT gets 2. Edge gets an STF and it looks better than the one Cena did, but Cole calls it THE CROSSFACE. Front choke by Reigns, but Edge sends him to the floor.
Edge hit R2 and avoided the impact of the barricade spear! Edge stops the count from the ref and Edge spears him through the other barricade. Edge throws him in for 2.5. Superman punch, but Edge hits the ref on the recoil. Roman grabs the chair piece and goes for the chair crossface, but Edge blocks it. Edge hits headbutts on the mat and the chair crossface is on, but there's no ref! Bloodline is out, but the Mysterios help Edge. BY GOD A BABYFACE IN WWE WITH A FRIEND! BASEMENT SUPERKICK TO EDGE BY SETH! Roman sets up the spear, but Edge pulls the trigger first - BUT THERE'S NO REF in time for 3, but we get 2.9. Seth comes up and eats a yakuza kick on the apron leading to Edge eating a spear to end it. This was good-ish at points, but was either in first gear or fifth.
Seth slugs away at Edge on the mat and stares down Roman. Edge takes out Seth and Cole excuses Edge for being bitter because Seth wronged him. Heyman gleefully gives Roman the mic as the other goobers brawl. THE WORLD CAN ACKNOWLEDGE HIM and then CENA'S OUT! He looks great and has a haircut to look more like the Cena of old and not JBL-esque haircut Cena. Summerslam is going to do quite well and if it doesn't, WWE has only themselves to blame.
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