Cena is back and on Raw - so we could get just a promo or maybe a setup for a match and that's really interesting because doing six-man tags and stuff can build up ratings while also help him shake off ring rust. Cena's out and the fans are going crazy. Cena thanks a fan for bringing a sign for him and he missed the fans and he missed WWE. He said that he came back and Pat couldn't see him and Cole was excited. The fans brought him back and now everyone can cheer and boo together. He's here to get the Universal Title and he wants it at Summerslam in five weeks. He wouldn't mind a record-breaking 17th title win - it's because Roman and then he gets muted for calling him an asshole. Now that's with "bullshit" being fine last night several times and on Raw.
Riddle comes out and does a bro bit with Cena before teaming with the Viking Raiders to face Morrison and AJ/Omos. Miz and Morrison come out and are annoying as all hell, but they're going to get this America's Moist Wanted/Johnny Drip-Drip stuff over. Morrison gets squashed on the floor by the Raiders, but Riddle eats a beating from Omos. Miz moistens Omos and he tosses Morrison into the ring to his doom. Viking Experience ends it. Ryker whipping Elias recap airs and they'll face off tonight. I'm good.
Ryker vs. Elias is a symphony of destruction match because sure. They walk. And brawl. They walk and brawl and walk. It's a Jarrett TNA special. They brawl and fight on a piano before Elias eats a superplex off the top to the floor through two tables. Here in a nothing TV match. Goddamn. Mansoor and Ali bitch and moan backstage with Sonya and Pearce. Sheamus asks why he has to face Humberto again when he beat him last week, defended his title and he did so with a broken nose. Good point. Charlotte gets celebrated next!
Charlotte's out and poses. Also, Lashley has issued an open challenge...as a heel. Okay sure. Charlotte rambles and Rhea comes out and wants a shot tonight. Going from 14 titles to 11 titles in 24 hours is a truly remarkable accomplishment. Pearce makes Rhea vs. Charlotte tonight for the title. Excellent - Charlotte, the heel is somehow positioned as the babyface in peril here because it's an impromptu match. Wacky Alexa bit hyping up the playground before Nattie is out with Tamina to face Nia and Shayna. We get sloppy bullshit until Reginald messes up and causes another loss for Nia and Shayna. Reginald gets shoved down. 24/7 brigade comes out and Reginald flippy-dos his way to the 24/7 Title.
Sheamus vs. Humberto feud recap. Kross debuts on Raw tonight. Sheamus has a sweet light setup and kicks ass AS RAW ROLLS ON. Flying crossbody and missile dropkick gets 2 for Humberto. Brogue ends it. According to Corey, he REMAINS US CHAMPION!? I thought Humberto only got a title shot if he won this match? Lashley comes out as the greatest ass-kicker who kicks all the asses. MVP hypes up his ass-kicker and says that Kofi was right - Lashley had lost his edge and MVP is to blame for that. MVP says the champ is right - the time for bullshit is done!
KEITH LEE IS BACK. Keith Lee's theme has no punch to it. Lashley and Keith have no chemistry together. Shame they've buried T-Bar so much because he and Lee just doing their NXT feud again would get them each over instantly on Raw. Plodding weirdness with neither guy being able to really move the other around. Running around the ring spear on the floor before ne in the ring ends it. BOY is Lee's ceiling low on Raw. GOLDBERG RETURNS and Lashley says "motherfucker! FUCK!". Ha! Goldberg says I'M NEXT. This is going to be fun!
Backstage, an idiot asks if Lashley accepted the challenge and MVP says they won't dignify it now. Jinder and his goons come out to recap the Drew stuff. Drew beats the goons up with a chair badly and that filled more time. Drew gets another chair and snaps that on him. Yeesh. This at least got the crowd to sing along with 19 shots. Then 20. Jinder's an expert on shots.
A Karrion Kross highlight video airs right before his debut. Poor Jeff Harvey, and Karrion Kross for that matter. He's doomed without Scarlett. WHY WOULD WWE GO "well, she's really hot - let's break this act up!" He comes out to crickets. Jeff gets "No More Words" back and Corey says that's what old is new. Well, that's a fitting theme for tonight. Kross dominates until he misses a corner charge. TWISTO AND SWANTON TIME! Swanton misses, but Kross can't land the back of the head elbow and Jeff gets a fluke win. Building up Jeff Hardy to an NXT Title match - honestly, not a bad idea at all.
Charlotte's out in a cool Cruella getup before they have the nerve to announce A TAG TITLE REMATCH ON RAW. Rhea throws her around on the mat and Germans her, but her knee gets taken out on the floor. Rhea blocks a moonsault and hits her with the knees up before locking on a figure four. Riptide, but Charlotte gets her foot on the rope at 2.9. Charlotte goes to leave and bonks her with the belt for a DQ. Jesus this third hour was death. Rhea kicks her ass and Nikki ASH cashes in and dives in to win it!
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