Tuesday, August 23, 2016

WWE SD 8-23-16

AJ brags to the locker in slick red gear and talks smack to Dolph so they brawl. Shane and Bryan are mid-ring with the roster and new SD tags - with blue straps and silver faceplates shaped like the penny belts, and a new women's title with a blue backing and white leather. Bryan hypes up the Team Blue Women's Division. Please God let that be the name of the title. Nope. It's the SmackDown Women's Champion. Truly a historic title, and Shane makes a six-pack challenge for Backlash.


 So the division just has six people. The SmackDown Tag Team Title is also an amazing name - and these belts actually do look better than the Raw ones. A tag title tourney is happening and will end at Backlash. Heath comes down and Bryan tells him he can't compete for the women's title. Heath wants the tag titles and Shane says he isn't sure if he is equipped for that either. Bryan says if Heath can find a partner, they'll turn it into an eight team tournament and Shane says he can only join the roster if he wins the tournament.

AJ comes out and says he won't be Heath's partner, and Dolph brawls with him. Alexa vs. Becky is up with Naomi and Nattie on commentary. Basic match won by Becky with the Disarmer. Heath meets with Miz, who wants to be in the next Indiana Jones movie. Domino's ad with Miz bitching about ice cubes not being shaped in his likeness. Ascension is mid-ring to face the Usos, and get beaten quickly.
AJ comes down in his slick red and black gear to talk about BEATIN UP JOHN CENA! "YA HEAR THAT WORLD!? I SHOULD BE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE WWE WORLD TITLE!" AJ is so great. Bryan makes AJ vs. Dolph and if Dolph wins, it will be a triple threat. Nikki's first TV match in her return is next. Curt Hawkins Facts are amusing me. Curt Hawkins not wrestling and just being in amusing graphics is easily the highlight of his WWE career.
Carmella is mid-ring to lose to Nikki. Nikki comes in for a Renee interview and Carmella jumps Nikki. Good move - now Carmella is a heel like she should be, while Nikki isn't the courageous babyface coming back from injury...and wrestling on the heel team. Carmella hits the Bella Buster and JBL puts over that she won't be ignored. Hey, she went from being a seeming jobber in a nothing match to coming off as a bit of a killer.

Orton vs. Brock hype video leads to Orton coming out in Tapout gear and wearing pants on TV for the first time this decade. He shows off the staples in his head AND THEN BRAY'S THEME HITS. Bray's theme is WWE's version of a Family Guy cutaway. Bray's new black hoodie stuff works for him. Bray says spooky words and leaves. Okay then. Generic Brunette Woman on SD is no Generic Brunette Woman on NXT, but she is good-looking. Shane mocks Steph for fining Brock $500 and it seems like we'll get Brock vs. Shane at some point. AA faces Breezango next.

HEATH SLATER MEETS WITH ARN ANDERSON, who is insulted that he wasn't Heath's first choice to help. Ha! Rhyno offers to team with him so they can make payments on an above-ground pool. Okay then. AA's Ready, Willing, and Gable towel finally gets its own inset promo and we get a basic match between the teams. AA wins with the Grand Amplitude in a really nothing match. I did like Gable's new over the top victory roll deal though .

Otunga busts out random Mandarin to plug the Shanghai show.  Dean does an interview with Generic Brunette Woman about being champ...and has a wacky foam hat. Dean's out to commentate for the main event and Dolph's graphic informs us that he is a strong supporter of the WrestleMania Reading Challenge...WHAT IN THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH HIM BEING A TITLE SITUATION!? WWE chooses two bits of info to contain in those graphics and this is something they choose!?

Pretty fast action here, including Dolph eating a nasty Bret bump in the corner. Dean buries the Club stealing 2 Sweet and says AJ is "Showing the crowd the little cocky shit he's doing right now..." BAD DEAN BAD! Famouser by Dolph gets 2. Dolph sidesteps AJ and hits a Zig Zag for 2.5! Outstanding match - way better than Dolph vs. Dean in terms of drama. Clash hits and Otunga says "NOT LIKE THIS" for some reason even though he won clean.

Screens -

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