Tuesday, August 2, 2016

WWE SmackDown 8-2-16

Shane, Bryan, and Orton watch Orton RKOing Brock. Shane tells him that he'll deal with him later, but that was awesome. Miz and Maryse's cleavage interrupt them and Bryan makes "Baron vs. APOLLO CREED vs. Kalisto, with the winner facing Miz at Summerslam. Dean rattles off his accomplishments and talks about Dolph being the booty shaker.

Dolph talks about coming in as a male cheerleader - he started from the bottom, while Dean started from the top via the Shield. Dean tells Dolph that he spends too much time complaining, while he just faces roadblocks and steps over them to move on. Dean drops a dozen truth bombs on him and says that he's not as good as he thinks he is and is too focused on surface-level stuff. If this makes Dolph more serious, excellent - he needs a revamp. Bray teleports in and hits Sister Abigail to Dolph. They are doing a stellar job of making you care about the character of Dolph Ziggler - and it only took ten minutes. Bray tells Dolph to face and beat him tonight - and if he wins, he will prove that he is the no. 1 contender. However, if Bray wins, he gets the title shot at Summerslam. IC title shot match is up next.

Shane talks to the security goons and Dolph tells them he wants the Bray match. Dolph says he is going to prove Bray and everyone else wrong and beat Bray to show he deserves the title shot. I dig the SD graphics for guys being on the right - reminds me of the left-hand graphics with trons during the original brand split. Miz does commentary alongside Maryse's rack for the match.

GOODLUCHATHING by Kalisto for an ad break. Baron dominates a bit, but Crews beats Kalisto with a schoolboy to win. Nothing match. Miz says Crews is in for a war. Miz should've said "YOU'RE GOING TO WAR WITH A MARINE!" there. Sad Tummy beats up everyone and stands tall. Becky Lynch vs. Eva Marie is next. They recap the possibility of Brock coming in and Otunga can't even sound excited for that. Becky comes out and then Eva gets her wacky intro. Eve apparently hurts herself dong the intro - and it's a shame too as Becky's in her wedgie getup. Renee talks to Carmella and says that Eva is a faker. Nattie insults Carmella and Renee for not being interviewed here. They are in a really echoey room here and it's distracting. The SMACKDOWN FIST lives on in the transitional graphics - I love it. American Alpha is next.

VaudeVillains are mid-ring to be fed to American Alpha. Mauro hypes up that Gable was an Olympian in 2012. Gable's in ring and gear style is perfect for Fire Pro Returns. Give them the camo getup with tons of color variants and you're gold. Gable rides Gotch, while Jordan dropkicks him for 2. JJ gets his singlet pulled, but still gets the tag and Gable hits a double flying lariat. Otunga as JBL's parrot just doesn't work. JBL talks about how the heels are just beating them down, before Otunga repeats the same thing. Stronghold capture plex leads to a stronghold belly to belly and the Grand Amplitude wins it.

AJ's message for Cena is next, but first, a recap of Cena at the Teen Choice Awards. JBL hypes up AJ as "his first day in IWGP, he won the championship!" Fuck off, JBL. AJ cuts his theme off and then Cena comes out. AJ's sleeveless shirt under the textured vest look is great - and the shirt itself would really make for a great compression top to cover him up when he gets older too. AJ tells him he doesn't want him here and Cena only panders to weak-minded people - and since they're in Nashville, he knows they've got the weakest-minds of all! Great TNA knock there, and then he rants about participation awards for kids who do nothing. "YA DON'T GET A TROPHY FOR PARTICIPATION - YOU GET A TROPHY FOR BEING A WINNER. I BEAT JOHN CENA, WHERE'S MY TROPHY!?"

Cena says that he loves how the fans react to me. He loves helping kids, parents, and doing award shows because people ask him when he'll leave WWE and he loves saying he'll never leave WWE - it is his home. Cena says that if AJ fails, he'll just pick up and go someplace else...wow. Cena says he's here out of love, and asks what AJ's here for. Man, I love them at least attempting to go into depth with the characters here.

Fandango is mid-ring to face Orton. JBL references Brock and Orton being in Danny Davis's OVW, before Mauro plugs "Nightmare" Danny Davis and JBL talks about the VINTAGE draping DDT. Brock shows up, jumps the rail and F5s Orton. F5 SHANE! DO IT! Nope. He just leaves and Shane says "how dare you".
Bryan talks to someone and then Heath sneaks behind him and says that he snuck in the backdoor. Bryan says that security was too busy with Brock and Bryan gives him a match next week to get a contract. Heath wants it against "Jumpin Marty Lunda", but instead of Arn, Bryan makes Rhyno-Heath after Heath eats a gore. Okay then. And then Renee chats with Deano. He's a bit of a prick and then leaves. Bray vs. Dolph is up next.

Or not. A new generic interview girl talks to Orton, who says nothing. Carmella comes down, establishes her character, and eats a beating from Nattie while Otunga calls her a "petty Betty". Dolph vs. Bray is up finally. Dean is a smug asshole a bit on commentary. Dolph hits a fameouser right away for 2, but eats a shotgun lariat. Bray exposes the buckle but eats it, and a Zig Zag gets 2. Superkick after an exposed buckle shot wins it for Dolph. Rowan jumps Dolph after a Dolph-Dean staredown.

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