Saturday, December 17, 2016

WCW Starrcade 1990 pt2

The show begins with Pat playing a WCW show theme with lyrics that sounds absolutely awful. We get a recap of the Terry Taylor vs. Wallstreet issues. Seeing Taylor wearing the robe he sold to Roode is always weird. Taylor jumps Wallstreet and a clock pops up to show how long it will take Wallstreet to beat Taylor according to York's computer. Wallstreet wasn't signed to a contract here. BOY WAS WCW SMART. Taylor gets a headlock takeover and then Wallstreet rolls him onto his shoulders. Wallstreet gets his rope-assisted abdominal stretch. Firearm hits, but it's too hard and sends him into the ropes. Wallstreet gets a stungun. Stock Market Crash hits and wins.

Wrestle War '91 gets hyped up with a great barb wire logo. Curtis Hughes and the Motor City Madman coming out looking like early '90s indy jobbers - so they're a great choice for this, the biggest show of the year. The Skyscrapers are out and boy does Sid look strange in a singlet. Madman fucks up a kick to the gut by falling to his gut before the shot connects and then he deadweights Sid on the powerbomb, so Spivey hurks him up. Goddamn was he awful!

Morton and Rich come out as a team, with Gibson on the shelf with a knee injury. They're facing the Freebirds, looking beyond ridiculous. Rocky King is out as "Little" Richard Marley. The 'birds are actually wrestling in this garbage. Marley is dressed like a neon green and pink Harley Quinn outfit. Hayes has a fantastic sell job for an inverted atomic drop. Gibson threw a great punch on Impact and threw a nice one here with a bad wheel. Double figure fours on the heels! Gut punch and a kneelift get an easy pop for Ricky. Hayes his an ugly bulldog for 2. Gibson hits Marley with a crutch, sending him into Garvin, who gets beaten with a distraction schoolboy. LOL @ the faces just leaving. Crowd is cheering this beating too. NOW THE FACES SAVE. HA. Gibson eats a double lariat on the ramp.

Stan Hansen says words, with a lariat and some chew! Yes! Not as good as his AWA stuff about having a big, fat wife and five billion kids at home who all need shoes. Team Mexico is out to face Team USA. Steiners are out and over. We get a crowd shot of two very white men hooting and hollering AND DANCING. Glorious.
Konnan botches a fireman's carry bump. Konnan gets a wacky leglock. Scott hits the powerbomb and the double impact bulldog hits. Konnan just gets up and tags Rey in. Well, that was all weird. Scott just hoists up Rey and hits him with a sack of shit fallaway slam. Rey goes for a rana and just eats a stiff powerbomb to end it. Barry and Arn are in neon green and pink with a neon green swaztika. Boy were they morons.

Team Russia comes out to face Team Japan, which could be okay since Team Russia actually came from NJPW. Zangiev gets a shoot-style German. Hashimov looks like Kozlov and gets a Boston crab. Muta breaks it up with a kick. Saito gets the deathlock, and Zangiev gets the ropes. Hashimov gets a waterwheel takedown and then Saito hits a Saito suplex to beat Zangiev quickly. Ross says "just as we hoped, the number 1 and 2 seeds are in the finals!" Doom's African flag shirts are dreadful. Ron cuts a great, intense promo. This works - other than the shirts, but they had great passion. Teddy busted out both Homie don't play that and an "I've fallen and can't get up" reference in.
Luger comes out with a weird photo of himself above the stage. "Luger has never wrestled a Texas Lariet Match". I bet! Stan is also the master of "the Lariet". Oh WCW. This is hyped up as a battle of FORMER FOOTBALL PLAYERS by JR. Of course. Hansen dominates the bullrope match to start. Luger's CFL days are recapped. Hansen hits a photographer and hits Luger with a chair. Luger goes for a cover in this four corners match. Hansen just kind of stops going for the corners because I guess he hates being a champion. Maybe he hates poor spelling. Hansen and Luger brawl. Stan's faces are a highlight. Hansen kind of shoves Luger into the buckle, seemingly giving him the win - but the ref was knocked down. Nick Patrick is out and Hansen drags Luger around to try and win, and then his the lariat and hits the corner to win. Only not - Luger is given the win. Well, Luger at least got a huge pop here - so I guess it worked.

Luger is interviewed by Ross, and has some giant zits on his chest. He roars and flexes.


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