Muta lands a series of swift kicks - boy could he move then. Scott avoids a kick and then goes for an inverted enzuiguri and locks on a half-crab. Muta gets crotched and then rattles his pants around for a bit. Scott hits the winding belly to belly. Rick slugs away at Saito and then gets Saito suplexed. Heels cheat and bonk Rick with the bell. Muta hits a springboard elbow on Rick. We get a shot of the trophy and the seldom-seen Starrcade banner. Scott gets Saito suplexed and choked. Heels hit a spike piledriver to Scott and...just punch him. How very odd. Saito smashes him into the buckle again. DROP HIM ON HIS HEAD AGAIN. Rick gets a sunset flip off the top and wins with a finisher he's never used before.
The faces are presented the trophy by all of the models, and JIM HERD. Herd has a mild speech prepared to really put this thing over. Rick tells soldiers to kick butt. The cage is set up for the main event - so they filled time rather well. Paul E gets on his giant phone and calls no one. A crew member fixed the buckle and DICK THE BRUISER COMES DOWN dressed like Popeye, only with gigantic pants on. He can almost move here. A wide variety of Black Scorpions come out - with some having jobberriffic masks.
A wacky UFO falls from the sky. It hits the ramp, closes, then opens with pyro and reveals the REAL BLACK SCORPION with a silver cape. They get a closeup of his face and boy is going with a chinless mask a bad idea since Flair's face is so distinct. Sting comes out and gets a $20 pyro display. God that Black Scorpion thing was the must low-rent big-dollar attempt at special effects yet. The Black Scorpion hops around and does a jig.
Scorpion hits a back suplex and missed an elbow before begging off. Sting gets some clotheslines and they circle around a bit. This may actually be a worse Flair-Sting match than their final one in 2011. Scorpion hits a series of clotheslines. Flair-esque snapmare leads to a figure 4 on the neck. Scorpion goes for a pin with his feet on the ropes. Dick has none of that. Scorpion gets a headlock punch....HMM! We get a shot from the camera man sitting atop the cage. A corner lariat and snapmare gets 2.
Chinlock. GODDAMN IS THIS MATCH BORING. Scorpion uses the ropes and Dick breaks it up. Scorpion lands a series of punches. This match is 15 minutes in and still in first gear. Scorpion takes a press slam EXACTLY LIKE FLAIR. HMM! Sting misses a cage Stinger splash and hits the cage hard. That looked good. Bruiser takes a decade to count 1. Sting gets 2 off a boot and it takes Dick eons to get down and up for it. Sting chokes him in the corner, but Scorpion hits the eyes.
Sting gets tossed into the cage and fans hold up Black Scorpion signs. Sting gets trapped between the cage and the ropes and gets tossed into the cage back-first. Scorpion hits a terrible piledriver for 2. Sting gets a running bulldog - FINALLY THE CROWD DOES SOMETHING. Sting hits the stinger splash and Dick almost gets in the way. Scorpion deathlock is on and Dick and Sting are in almost the same position. Scorpion gets the ropes and slams him into the cage.
Scorpion gets unmasked BUT HE HAS A SECOND MASK ON, resulting in a fan gasping. This mask reveals his blonde hair and then he bumps crotch-first on the ropes. Sting tosses him into the cage and he Flair flops to...not blade. Sting hits a press into the cage before hitting a flying lariat. Scorpion gets color and Sting beats him with a crossbody off the top. Sting and Dick take the masks off the B squad. Arn and Barry come down to save the Scorpion. HMM! DDT on the chair. God, Flair got a lot of blood under that mask. Ross is doing the MSW hard sell that they only have 2 minutes left.
Zenk and Morton come down to save Sting. And they fail. Well, good. THE STEINERS SAVED AMERICA AND THEY'RE HERE TO SAVE STING. Rick's got bolt cutters and Barry keeps his fingers in there. Flair is unmasked and we don't even get a good shot of it. They plug the OFFICIAL STARRCADE SHIRT - which costs almost twice as much as this show does to watch on the Network.
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