Monday, March 13, 2017

WCW Wrestle War 1992

The wayback playback begins with an amusing anti-steroids PSA of the Freebirds, with Jimmy jacked less fat. Sting's squadron is run down alongside the Dangerous Alliance. The Wrestle War graphic is solid. Tony and Eric run down the card before JR and Jesse are shown for commentary. The freebirds are out in an ungodly bad outfit - and yet not as bad as their later glitterati getup. Taylor and Valentine are out with Taylor looking like a waiter. Michael has the world's highest pair of tights on. Lots of nothing. Atomic drop. Valentine misses a corner charge and we see Garvin in something resembling good shape - almost no gut.

Pat talks about chatting with Jimmy and him saying he's happily retired as a grandfather. Hayes hits a sloppy elbow for 2. BACK BRIDGE BY HAYES!? Hayes is a shockingly good babyface in peril. Doctor bomb gets 2 for Taylor while the figure 4 is broken up by Garvin. GARVIN COMES IN AND HE'S GOING NUTS! O 'Connor roll leads to a lariat and then a double lariat. DDT hits Taylor and he backdrops Valentine at the same time and the Birds win. Shockingly great match - everyone tried.

Eric and Tony chat about the match for a bit. Johnny B. Badd vs. Tracy Smothers is up, and that should be good. Tracy is YOUNG PISTOL "TRACY" - so they put the wrong thing in quotes. Quite the gold and silver jacket on Tracy. It's nearly as flamboyant as Johnny's getup. A woman puts a dollar in his kneepad - so he's basically a stripper too. Bring the kids!

The match begins and folks immediately head for the bathrooms and concessions. Johnny's gear has aged very well with both the cape and his in-ring garb looking fantastic. Arndrag into an armbar for Badd. Ross talks about, yes, TRACY'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL BACKGROUND! A few folks are dressed up in the front row. Snapmare and a chinlock by Tracy. Big flying sunset flip off the top gets 2. Kiss That Don't Miss DOES NOT MISS and wins. The Freebirds are backstage with Missy and Precious. Hayes dedicates the win to Lynyrd Skynyrd because of course he did. I love these US Tag Title designs, and I like that Hayes wants this, but also wants the World titles too.

Scotty Flamingo vs. Bagwell is up now. Let's not front-load the card too much! Marcus comes out in shiny silver pants and they look horrible. Scotty does a mini-stripper routine to take off his worn-out denim to show off the neon pink and green zebra print. Keep the denim on. Bagwell's gear could be gold-ish too. Slap fight! Bagwell's...respectable HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL BACKGROUND is discussed. Shockingly, this isn't making the crowd more excited. Scotty tries to face smash him, but can't. Bagwell hits a clotheslines and Bagwell does one little taunt over and over, which Pat points out is exactly like a game. Scott uses the tights to win.

Ad for Beach Blast has some surprisingly skimpy bikini babes in it. JYD and Simmons are up to face Cactus and Mr. Hughes, acting as a replacement for Abby. JYD comes in through the crowd with a white tux jacket and shirt, red bowtie and JEANS. We get another PSA from Brian Pillman talking about young athletes dying thanks to drug usage...yowza. Mr. Hughes comes out with Jack and this Mr. Hughes getup was a huge upgrade from "The Big Cat" Curtis Hughes. Cactus has a beaded shirt for some reason. JYD gets knocked off the ramp by Cactus. Cactus tosses him into the ramp and hits the elbow off the ramp. JYD has new gear, but can't move. Five thousand people come out to check on JYD. The fans chant for JYD, which is better than him wrestling. Fonzie tells Jack that the match hasn't started, so it won't be a DQ. Man did he age quickly. Simmons hits a big double-barreled lariat. Jack does the squeal bit. It looks like it'll be Hughes vs. Simmons.

Hughes eats a hiptoss and we hear about how he would always be in companies and out of them. Ross runs through football backgrounds before Jesse asks where Jack played defensive line. Ha! Wonky elbow by Hughes leads to some rope choking. Simmons hits the spinebuster, but Jack runs in, gets tackled, and then Simmons hits the forward chop block to end it. Todd Champion comes out FROM THE WCW SPECIAL FORCES and he has an Olympic rings logo on his gear. The Super Invader comes out with Herc's roid belly, Herc's pale skin, and bacne. Also, a red and black split outfit that looks horrible.

Herc does chops and a lariat. Herc looks short in there with Champion, which is even more apparent when he puts Todd on his knees for a test of strength. The invader's red and black outfit is punctuated by his NEON GREEN AND PURPLE glove. Long chinlock. Maybe the neon green stuff helps with that. Powerbomb hits it to end it - and it's a bit like the Canadian backbreaker into it. This was somehow only 5 minutes. Richard Morton comes out in a purple sequined jacket and purple and green tights. Big Josh comes out with his log ride theme. Josh won both the US Tag and World Six-Man tag titles in WCW.

The ENTIRE FRONT ROW LEAVES and then Josh hits a tackle. Outstanding punches and chops in the corner from Josh. OUTSTANDING RUNNING FOREARM SHIVER in the corner. Great selling off the inverted atomic drop - Josh sold it perfectly. Morton, the heel, is fighting from underneath. Corkscrew elbow hits and a nice Magnum-style belly to belly hits too. Earthquake splash ends it. This was stuff. Pillman vs. Zenk is up and we get a recap of their issues - which I saw before on the New Blood on the Block tape. Zenk's shirt is a bit ridiculous, but his overall attire is better than Brian's all-denim stuff. Pat and Jim joke about their clothes and how Zenk looks like a Florida retiree.

Tom Zenk retired and became a noted blogger of sorts and...outspoken to say the least about how shitty the WWF was. And then his site disappeared after he posted a Photoshop of Vince being fucked by a panda after the WWF name was changed. The WCW Light Heavyweight Title was very similar to the final WCW TV Title, and looked good. Great back and forth stuff here. Lots and lots of leg work. Jesse and Jim debate football for quite some time, with Jim putting over PIllman being a nose tackle and Jesse saying you should be Ron Simmons's size for that. Pillman misses a somersault senton on the leg, as ya do. We get a cool overhead camera shot of the ring, which mixes things up.
Zenk hits a backbreaker, but misses a running pump splash. Pillman works the knee for a bit. Pillman locks on a figure four and slaps him a bunch - I love that. Jim Ross talks about Lance Russell and Gordon Solie doing alternate commentary on the Hotline - well, that's something. Outside-in dive by Pillman leads to a slick powerslam for 2. Nice chops by Zenk, but a crucifix gets 2. Jesse complains about the LACK OF CHEATING HERE. A Pillman superplex is met with punches and Zenk overshoots off a crossbody and Pillman does a flip, which gets 2. Leapfrog exchanges lead to a...mid-air thing that I think was going to be a snapmare. Well, that didn't work. Giant flapjack by Zenk gets 2. Elbow misses and Zenk does Brian's own fakeout for a knee injury before Zenk hits a giant kick for 2. I love that spot - loved it on the New Blood tape and I love it now. Missile dropkick misses and Pillman gets a jackknife cradle for the win. Sloppy, but good-ish match.

Beach Blast ad. Another PSA, now from Larry Z - WRESTLERS ARE TOUGH, FOR REAL! Actually a darn nice promo wrapped in that PSA mixed in with a bit of that Morphoplex ad. Fujinami is back with WCW for this show, to team with Iizuki to face the Steiners. The Steiners are over like crazy here. Iizuka still wrestles and is in Suzuki-Gun now and uses the Iron Fingers in comedy matches. Scott botches the moonsault fallaway slam on Fujinami, but hits it on Iizuka. This is the same move that MATANZA uses now and it's crazy that Scott was doing it in '92. Flying elbow from Iizuka gets 2. Iizuka gets a Liontamer and then a regular crab. Scott goes to power out, so it's turned into a jackknife for 2. BUTTERFLY POWERBOMB GETS A HUGE POP! Flying elbow by Rick while Scott has him in a Canadian backbreaker busts up Iizuka's lip.

Fujinami comes in and takes it to basics. Headlocks and elbows. Half crab by Scott and Jesse talks about Iizuka bleeding on the outside. Fujinami puts Rick up on his shoulders and he holds him so Iizuka eats a nasty-looking belly to belly for 2. Iizuka stiffs him a few times and Rick's like fuck that and puts a headlock on. Fujinami works on the leg a lot while Iizuka does what he can to heal up on the apron, clearly in agony. SECOND ROPE LEG AVALANCHE by Fujinami. Iizuka's right eye is shut and Rick goes for a nose lock. Dickhead. Scott hits a tilt a whirl on Iizuka for 2. Scott locks on a double chickenwing and then a necklock. Scott just t-bones him with ease - like it's fucking nothing at all. Lesnar has nothing on him. Rick GRINDS THE NOSE WITH HIS KNEE. Dick! Over the shoulder corner charge by Rick slams his face into the second rope. Stiff pumphandle drop by Scott leads to an elbow.

Things slow back down a bit, thank God. Fujinami locks on an abdominal stretch. A front facelock gets a USA chant. Fujinami stiffs him, so Scott just tosses him down hard and tags Rick in. Iizuka comes in and kicks the fuck out of him as much as he can before Rick just powers HIM DOWN TO GET 2. Scott uses them as a post for a backflip and a double armdrag before Rick hits a double lariat. German gets 2 for Iizuka before they spike piledrive Scott. Iizuka hits a missile dropkick before Fujinami gets a sleeper and then the dragon sleeper. Scott boots him. Rick comes in to murder Iizuka with a lariat, shoulderblock and elbow. Belly to belly off the top hits to end it. Great-looking move and it's one they should really bring back.

Jim and Jesse chat before Tony and Eric chat. They aren't building the War Games cage, so I guess it will drop from the ceiling here. Sirens blare while they hype up War Games. They kill more time with the fans being shown and they send rocket pyro into the cage on the ceiling. Solid idea. Bad execution though. We get a series of screens explaining the rules. To be fair, they just fill this out with an explanation of EVERY COIN TOSS. THREE SCREENS OF GRAPHICS FOR THIS. Jeez.

The Dangerous Alliance comes out. Austin is sadly still in his ultra-'90s getup. Steamboat's got a busted up nose. Austin and Windham start off with tons of punches. Barry's falling DDT looks so slick. GIANT Paul E sucks chant breaks out. Steve goes for a monkey bar kick, but Barry hoists him up and flapjacks him. Austin's busted up and Barry's wrist tape is caked in blood - awesome visual. THE HEELS WIN THE COIN TOSS. Rude goes after Barry and he's ripped, tan, and intense. Rude has a brown eye on the back of his trunks. Subtle.

STEAMBOAT COMES IN TO SAVE HIS FRIEND! Chain of DDTs! Rana with punches by Steamboat. Arn comes in to fight with Barry, and they have great chemistry. Spinebuster to Steamboat!  Double half crab by Arn and Rude to Steamboat - I like that. Rude piledrives Steamboat. Steamboat gets tossed into the second ring, which is covered in blood. Dustin elevates Steve into the cage with an inverted atomic before lariating him down.

Arn has his head put between the rings while Barry humps away for some reason. Well, not even Arn can bat 1,000. Figure 4 by Steamboat. Larry comes in. Madusa goes up top and tosses the cell phone in. Sting chases her off, and boy is the cage sinking in with just her on it - and she ain't exactly heavy. Sting comes in with the facebuster and the press slams into the cage for Rudes. Love that spot - although Dr. Death did it best to Terry Gordy in '89. Madusa tapes up Bobby's right hand. Arn is busted open and in white - good man. Dustin is busted up and lost a battle to Freddy there. Jesus. Nikita runs in and teases issues with Sting playing off their past, BUT HE TAKES THE BULLET FOR STING. Great stuff there. Sting has the deathlock on Arn, but Eaton breaks it up. Nikita smashes Austin's face into the buckle, which is now red. Dustin's gear is red too. Flying elbow misses. Jesus. The ring is just covered in blood. They take the buckle off and Larry hits Bobby, who gets armbared by Sting and taps. The ring is caked in blood and torn apart - so it does truly look like a war has taken place. The heels bicker while Bobby asks Larry why he hit him with a hook.

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