We get a runthrough of MOST of the prior Starrcades, but skipping two years. Well, it's WCW. Pillman and Barry's graphics have their names on the wrong person. Because WCW. They have a really nice graphic for the Battlebowl ring - and it's aged nicely. Jesse has a Malcolm X hat on and Jim talks about a main event change and throws to a PRE-TAPED SEGMENT saying that Dr. Death gets the shot. We get shots of the guys sitting bored in shitty-looking locker rooms. Bill Watts is mid-ring with Hank Aaron...oh wow. So Watts got this job and did an interview with the Torch saying that he should be able to discriminate if you own a business. Sting comes down to get the run and maybe give some distance between Watts and Aaron. Larry is with Missy, wearing giant suspenders over her tits.
Van Hammer comes out in shiny silver tights with a cowboy hat and acid-washed denim. So is he glam rock, country, or what? Dan Spivey is out looking 45 and appears to have not worked out in at least a month. Cactus Jack is out to carry Hammer again and to team with Johnny B Badd. Badd spikes Hammer on a rana. Ouch! Bossman slam by Spivey on Badd. Big jumping shoulderblock by Hammer on Jack, Badd punches Jack and Hammer schoolboys him to win. Wow was this nothing.
They roll the tumbler and Dustin and Vader team up. Harley's tux is something else. They'll face Barbarian and Kensuke Sasaki. Wow is this random, and that's the point, but wow. Barb slams Vader to START. Hart Attack by Vader and Dustin to Barb. Sasaki hits a dropkick to Vader and then suplexes him. Dustin tags in and fires away on Barb with great-looking punches. Great flying lariat too. Barb runs into Sasaki and gets schoolboyed - so for the second of TWO MATCHES, WE GET THAT SAME FINISH. Vader beats up Dustin afterwards to hopefully take him out of Battlebowl.
They hype up SuperBrawl III as THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE YEAR. I thought that was Starrcade...ya know, this show? Barry and Muta will team up against Scorpio and Pillman. Barry's gut game is strong here. Barry and Scorpio go at it and have some solid exchanges. Pillman and Muta have even better action. Nice floatover suplex by Barry gets 2. Muta spinkicks Scorpio to the floor. Barry hits the impaler DDT on Scorp leading to the moonsault for the win...with Brian breaking it up at 2.
Sting teams with Dr. Death. Erik Watts teams up Jushin Liger. Yup, that's a natural pairing. Erik Watts is in here looking completely out of place. Erik has gigantic trunks on that might be bigger than Dr. Death's. Liger going at it with Dr. Death is interesting style-wise, and because it's Inoki vs. Baba. Doc's chops are awesome. Watts...does things resembling moves to Doc. His dropkicks and knees are hilarious. STF is better than Cena though. Hot shot to Watts ends it. Between his matches tonight, Muta will work THREE MATCHES in one night.
We see Chono and Muta clips from Japan and hear from Pat about how Watts told them to tone it down before the show. Long armlock on the mat. Back and forth abdominal stretches. STF wins for Chono and he retains the NWA Title. Rude is out in the most denim outfit ever bitching about his injury. Doc comes out to face Ron Simmons for the World title. Shocking. Three point tackle leads to another charge, a leapfrog and a lariat by Ron. Doc pulls the hair to act as the heel. Doc just muscles him up and backbreakers him. Front knee clip by Doc, so Ron hits one of his own. They fight on the floor for a double countout.
Barry and Brian come out while Steamboat and Shane are out. Shane is young, hopeful and...in a sliced-up silver jacket. Ricky and Barry have good chemistry, even with Barry being fat and going through the motions. Steamboat and Barry fight on the ramp. Great spot where Brian tosses Shane into their corner where Barry elbows him in the back of the head - that can go back now and work just fine. Okada dropkick by Pillman with Shane up top and he flips off the top to the floor. That's held up nicely too. Shane has debris all over his back and looks ridiculous. Chairs to the back are fine. Belly to belly hits and Pat laments the loss of the belly to belly - right before Bayley brings it back. Neat.
Jesse and Ross look bored while we get a recap of the Vader-Sting issues leading to the king of cable tourney. Vader and Sting have outstanding chemistry and it continues here. Sting hits a koppou kick! Cactus clothesline by Sting! They're each covered in debris from the floor because Watts didn't want mats on the floor. Vader locks on a seated abdominal stretch and works the hold nicely. Backslide gets 2. Nice punt to the ribs by Vader. Sting hits a back suplex and Vader goes up nicely. VADER CLUBS HIM AND STING WANTS MORE. FUCK YEAH. Now that's a babyface! Vader's getting tired, and Sting's strategy works. Sting gets a Samoan drop, but lands in the ropes. Flying splash by Sting gets 2. Race distracts and Vader clubs him before chokeslamming him. Flying splash off the second rope hits for Vader. Vader dives into a powerslam and Sting wins! Sting's diving splash was absolutely gorgeous and really underrated.
Sting cuts a promo with Jesse with the King of Cable trophy. They talk to Paul...something, an NFL player about the importance of the Battle Bowl ring and most importantly the importance of his check for this appearance clearing. There are only eight people in this battle royal. Hammer works over on Spivey in the corner with... a running blowjob? Well, that was a bad camera angle. Whole lotta nothing. Some stomps. Sting and Vader are out via Cactus clothesline. Dan Spivey outlasted them. And now folks leave. Barry's nose got busted up somehow and Muta eliminates him to win. Wow was this all nothing.
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