It's F4W Board watchalong time with one of the worst WCW events ever! The opening video hypes up Booker vs. Jarrett and Goldberg's heel turn with Nash saying he's going to go over. And some dude LOSES HIS SHIT! Tanks out with 3 Count as they prepare for battle with the Jung Dragons in a ladder match for a contract and a gold record. Nasty backdrop into the ladder for Shannon. Helms hits a powerbomb and Shannon hits a revolving splash. Jung Dragons get piled up on a corner ladder and Shannon is slingshotted onto them!
Jamie dives on a ton of dudes off a ladder to the floor! This match is the in-ring definition of "saving the best for first!" Suplex from Evan off the middle of the ladder - which is the safest way to do it because it's less than just a superplex. Shannon slingshots the ladder onto Jamie's face before Evan Russian legsweeps him. Dragons double-splash Evan off the ladder! Jamie grabs the record, but 3 Count dropkicks the ladder and TANK GRABS THE RECORD! "The match isn't over even though Tank has the contract!" So then how does the match end!? Okay, so you have to have the contract as well. Mark points out how this makes no sense. Tank tosses both Helms and Yang down and then Evan grabs the contract. Great match that was hurt by the booking.
Filthy Animals invade the Cat's office and want a tag title match. Okay. Hood Disco Inferno is great. The Cat faces the Great Muta here. So Muta TRAVELED ACROSS THE WORLD to face The Cat. Hudson puts over Muta's many title wins and Madden tells him to stop with the alphabet soup before Tygress comes out to "we want puppies" chants. Cat gets mist and the ref gets it out with his shirt while Tygress hits a flying chairshot to Muta FOR 2. Instead, THE FELINER PINS HIM. That might be worse.
Buff walks backstage while DDP's dub theme plays for Kanyon. JUDY BAGWELL ON A FORKLIFT MATCH IS UP. Buff and his calf implants come down BECAUSE HE ISN'T WATCHING THE SHOW AND DOESN'T KNOW HIS MOTHER IS ON A FORKLIFT. They have a Jeff Jarrett mid-card walk and brawl before Kanyon gets wire cutters and takes off the turnbuckle pad. I like that ONLY THE HEEL IS LOGICAL in this.
Kneeling Kanyon clutch is on Buff and I really need to download a Kanyon CAW for 2K19. Swinging neckbreaker gets 2 for Kanyon. Hudson points out the neck as a weakness in...OTHERWISE A PERFECT ATHLETE IN MARK BAGWELL. Kanyon cutter hits for 2.9 DDP's theme hits and David Arquette comes out dressed as the year 2000 and clubs Buff with the hardhat before Buff could hit a blockbuster for 2. Buff gets both guys down and wins with the blockbuster on both guys. Kinda.
Backstage, secret service guys arrive in a purple limo for LANCE STORM! Madden drapes himself in a Canadian flag and they say that Goldberg was hurt in a motorcycle accident in Sturgis. Rey and Juvi along with Tygress have ref shirts on and get their backdrop intro looking like stars. "What they got in their hands? Penile pumps?" Konnan is great and Mark just calls him Carlos before Konnan buries the NBTs for being white bread. Disqo's out in an Armani Exchange cap and cuts a heel promo on the fans.
Adams hits a full nelson slam on Stasiak. "How can in-breeding go right? Look at Van Hammer!". O'HAIRE HITS THE RICOCHET FLIP IN ONE TAKE. And also he's like 280 pounds. He's lucky he didn't tear every muscle in his leg doing that shit, but goddamn did I mark out huge for him in '00 and '01. Konnan puts over Rection for going all over the world - and that's just the bars before Tygress hits the bronco buster and Rey does it and gets booted in the nuts. I hear that the Filthy Animals do in fact "got it like that". SEANTON BOMB hits and Clarke hits Meltdown! "It looks like Lash has a small fire on him and Rey's trying to stomp it out!" Chavo takes out Disqo and puts the ref's shirt on and Kronik wins, maybe? Yeah, they win the titles.
Jarrett talks to Paulshock and he wants to know if she wore Gene's ass out last night. Shane is out with Torrie Wilson's breasts to a knock-off of his WCW knock-off of "Deep Purple". Shane cuts a promo on ass Franchising and sex tapes. Both men wearing Hilfiger here. It's 2000, and now Hilfiger is making a bit of a comeback in 2020. Shane and Kidman have a regular match using a strap - which is a far better stip than the corner-touching deal. BK bomb for 2. Okay, Shane's bump off a shoe to the head was the best thing he did over the last 20 years. Pittsburgh Plunge gets 2 and then Kidman hits the killswitch to win. "Who cares who won!" Oh hey, WCW died in March of 2001. Franchise tries to kill Kidman with a hanging after Kidman whips Torrie's ass and Big Vito saves. Then Reno comes out to fight with Vito.
Gunns and Hancock are out for their ROTC match and have slow motion wrestling and cheesecake. Hancock is actually a good athlete here, but Gunns can't do anything. We get more stomach-related offense to Stacy and Gunns hits a sledge off the apron to the floor. Hancock rips the bottoms off and they fight in the mud pit and then Stacy sells her stomach for the miscarriage angle later and Gunns wins. Then David Flair and Gunns break character to help her up.
We get a goofy My Guest at This Time promo with the Dark Carnival and the Demon with Vamp in ICP makeup looking even more ridiculous than usual. Miss Hancock is on a gurney and Tony says "Her name is Stacy Keibler and she was a Nitro girl..." Demon's out for a "special main event". This is a pretty solid KISS sound-alike all things considered. YAY CROW STING THEME!
Stinger splash and a death drop end it. And then the Dark Carnival runs in to render the result meaningless. Kronik makes a save and Adams says that Vancouver is down with Kronik and they want to face the Dark Carnival and the belts and that's made for later. Booker suffers in the training room and wants the camera out of there. Mike Awesome is out to a Zoo-alike and LANCE IS A FUCKING STAR. Big security entrance, fans are unreal and hot.
Lance gives Jacques Rougeau a big intro as he'll be the ref as per rule 32 B of the Canadian title rule book. And of course Jacques shows off his guns. They play the anthem and Tony says "their love for their country isn't a work - it's a shoot!" Awesome kicks his ass for a while and wants a powerbomb through a table, but Lance escapes. Awesome hits a Liger bomb and wins it on 2...but Jacques says it was 2. Jacques says that CANADIAN RULES need a five count.
Lance taps to a dragon sleeper, and IN CANADA, A SUBMISSION DOESN'T END IT. Now this is how you go from making a star to a jobber in 10 minutes. Lance gets a northern lights for 2. AWESOME SPLASH HITS FOR 5 AND AWESOME WINS IT. But doesn't. Jacques has MORE RULES - he has until 10 to answer the count to end the match. Lance chairshots him for 4 and they set up a table and Awesome hits a rough super belly to belly through it. Jacques slugs Awesome and Lance wins. What in the fuck.
Bret comes out for his on-air return and celebrates with them. Jesus Christ is Paulshock My Guest at This Time-level bad. Nash says he's going over for the money and the belt. Dark Carnival is out for the tag titles. Muta mists Mickey Jay and they set him up for High Times, but Vamp saves. Harris Bros attaqck annd hit an H-Bomb to give Muta and Vamp the belts.
At least Muta gets some nice photos and a belt. PAULSHOCK IS TERRIBLE with Booker T. Jesus Christ how did I forget how bad she was!? Steiner and Nash are out, BUT NO GOLDBERG. HE'S GOING AGAINST THE SCRIPT! Nash and Steiner work in slow motion and Goldberg runs down with a chair. His ribs are taped up and he's...I think a heel? Steiner T-bones him on the ribs for 2. Nash does his over the top intro and almost slips. Hudson talks about Nash being on the booking committee and winning the title from Goldberg two weeks later.
So Tony puts over how Goldberg is minimizing the reach edge for Nash by fighting in close. So it's a shoot when it's not a work - but it's always a work and they're working a promo, and Goldberg is using his shoot skillz' to combat Nash's reach. Nash, WHO CAN'T GET IN THE RING WITHOUT RISKING INJURY, is being presented as a physical threat. Nash goes for the jackknife, but Goldberg WON'T GO FOR THE SCRIPT and Russo tells him to follow it.
Nash goes for a chokeslam, but Midajah ballshots him. Midajah elbows his balls, I guess it's a shoot elbow. NASH GETS A DDT and I guess it's a shoot because Madden says "He's working on the fly!" "JACKKNIFE! AND HE WENT UP FOR IT, GOLDBERG!" Fuck. You. Russo! Nash wins it so he can get a shot at the worked shoot fake World Title prop. Jarrett-Booker video hypes up HIS LETHAL GUITAR and this gets a Buffer intro.
Buffer puts over Jarrett being a four time World champ, so Hudson gets off this line. "Remember, during those four runs, he had THE POWER of Russo and Bischoff giving him that spot!" Booker T's theme really did help him seem like a big deal - it worked great for a main eventer, but his singles gear with the slick flames was actually a better-looking getup than this...pleather Highspots gear.
Jeff won't let go, so the ref forces a break. Jeff and Booker brawl and a table is set up and Booker Book Ends him off the apron through it. GINGER REF RUNS DOWN AND COUNTS Booker brings Jeff in for a 3 count, but Jeff gets a foot on the ramp while the fans chant for Hogan. Jeff KOs Ginger Ref with a chair to the left of his head. STROKE ON THE CHAIR TO BOOKER! "The ref taking the bump saved Booker T!" Book End ends it. Goddamn this era of WCW is unreal. "THAT MY FRIENDS IS A REAL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION WHO JUST WON A REAL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH!" This wasn't a work, brother!
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