WCW SuperBrawl II

 

This is one of WCW's best-remembered cards largely due to the opener of Liger-Pillman and the main event of Sting-Luger. The card is run down with the first match, tag title, and World title matches getting graphics and making the LHW title seem important. Eric picks Luger to win while Tony picks Sting. Missy will be doing backstage interviews throughout the night. It's amazing how 1992 Eric Bischoff replicates a ball-less Ken doll so perfectly. Ross brings out Jesse Ventura, who rides out on a motorcycle. Jesse puts over Harleys and WCW. Jesse, wisely, puts over the company who's paying him that they are the company of the present and the future. AND JESSE VENTURA SUGGESTS JIM ROSS IN A COWBOY HAT, PAL!

 

 They start off with quick matwork before Brian gets a nice double-leg baseball slide. Liger, wisely works the legs after that. Liger grounds him him with an abdominal stretch neck crank and a Romero Special. Big corner charge misses for Brian and he plants his knee in the buckle and a figure four puts more pressure on the legs. Figure four slap fight! Jesse puts over how great Liger is and they fight over a buckle shot and Pillman drives him into the buckle and hits Air Pillman. SUPLEX OVER THE TOP BY PILLMAN, which isn't a DQ for some reason. Pillman dives off the apron and hits the rail. 

Double-down off dropkicks and again on spinwheel kicks. Liger sets up a super brainbuster, but Pillman drops him and gets 2 off a crossbody off the top. Stacking powerbomb by Liger gets 2 before they cradle each other for 2. Brian gets 2 in the corner and looks crestfallen before he goes up and gets crotched and a superplex gets 2 for Liger. Pillman misses a swan dive and gets Backlund bridged to end it. Still a fantastic match and it told a better sports-ish story than most modern matches would. They shake hands and hug.

Terry Taylor as the Dollar Store Million Dollar Man doesn't work, and this poor kid who won a contest is getting booed out of the building for wearing shorts. He doesn't fuck anything up and Taylor works a ncie, simple match while Ross brings up BAGWELL'S HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL BACKGROUND, because of course. Taylor loses off an O'Connor roll and Bagwell gets laid out with the fivearm. Missy is outside Lex's locker room and Race says Luger is in the best shape of his life.

Cactus vs. Simmons with a CACTUS JACK FOR PRESIDENT sign and Jesse talks about Mick being a democrat. I know you'll be shocked, but Ross talks about Ron's football history and Jesse talks about various football strategies Simmons could use here. Simmons eats the double arm DDT and legdrop and then CACTUS ELBOW OFF THE SECOND ROPE TO THE FLOOR HITS. Jesus! Ron takes the bump on the ramp that Cody envisioned at Full Gear, but lands without slicing his face in half. RON SIMMONS SPINEBUSTER ON THE RAMP. It's amazing Mick can still breathe. Cactus dives off the second and EATS A POWERSLAM and see last note, JESUS THAT BUMP. Smilin' Abby is out! They beat up Ron and JYD is here! I like JYD's formal tux top and cummerbund...and blue jeans. He gets a loud JYD chant and for one night, it worked.

Vinnie and Morton are dressed like WCW gave them $1,000 for gear and they spent half of it on blow, but had to get SOMETHING to show for it. Jesse gets in a great line about always knowing guys named Vinnie with terrible suits and a half-ton of cream in their hair.  "Z-Man's a former Mr. Minnesota in bodybuilding. We know there's no money in bodybuilding!" Jesse loves burying Vince. HAMMER AND VINNIE. I like Jesse offering up LOGIC as to why Vegas is dressed like King from Art of Fighting. Yeah, let's do close-ups on Hammer's punches to show all that light. Great move. NASH BUMPS OFF A Z-MAN MISSILE DROPKICK!

Morton and Zenk are in to do SOMETHING here. WE GET MORE NASH VS. HAMMER! Morton's in to make Hammer look decent. Nash focusing on doing what he does well - which isn't much, but it's done well. Big elbow, big punches. "It's almost like Morton keeps things focused and then lets Vegas get some air!" ALMOST! Love the rope-assisted dropkick from Zenk. Corner sunset flip ends it for the Z-Man as he pins Morton.

Austin and Larry are out to face Dustin and Barry. Dustin's 1992 jacket is on-point. DUSTIN AND AUSTIN ARE CLUBBERIN'! Austin flies into a lariat by Dustin! Barry is one of the smoothest workers ever when he gives even half a shit. Larry comes in and spin kicks Barry. The babyfaces work on THE HAND OF LARRY. Now that's something you don't see - and it's smart, because it's just getting even and Jesse is also right to say you shouldn't try and take guys out. OF COURSE JESSE TALKS ABOUT WRESTLERS TAKING A PAY CUT GOING TO THE NFL! 

Larry gets a sleeper on Barry before AUSTIN HITS A BIG LEFT ARM LARIAT AND TURNS DUSTIN INSIDE OUT. Tremendous! Dustin and Larry go at it in the corner and Larry DDTs him for 2. Big suplex by Dustin! WE GET MORE BRAWLING! Barry wants a superplex, but Larry ain't taking that bump. Lariat off the top ends it!

Bischoff is with Tony and IS DRESSED LIKE SCOTT STEINER with the Michigan garb. Missy interviews MR. NINJA about seeing Mr. Steamboat, who is medidating by blowing up fire and shit and then Madusa tries to seduce him by speaking Japanese. Okay, this ninja-Madusa stuff is something else. Bad, yet amusing. ARN AND EATON VERSUS THE STEINERS and a slim Heyman! Kip Frye has banned Heyman from ringside. 

Eaton dives off the top into a Scott overhead belly to belly. It's a shame Rick isn't in his giant black number gear so Jesse can say that's the only way he could pass a math test. Rick surprised Arn by posting next to him, which scares Arn and he backs away...balls-first into the post! This comedy bit works PERFECTLY! Arn puts Steiner in a bridge. SCOTT STEINER LOCKS ON A DRAGON SLEEPER here in 1992. Jesus! JESSE BRINGS UP THE SOONERS! TILT A WHIRL ON THE RAMP AND THEY ACTUALLY CATCH IT! 

WE WANT BLOOD chant in 1992. SECOND ROPE DOOMSDAY DEVICE BY THE STEINERS. Unreal match. Nice little fuck you for LOD too as that is just a transition spot. Arn in white gear looks even more like your middle-aged uncle who had hunting magazines and wanted a new beer every half hour. STEREO SUPLEXES BY THE STEINERS! BIG SUPLEX BY SCOTT TO ARN! DIVING KNEE BY EATON HITS FOR 2. Arn gets a Boston crab and Eaton pushes on his chest with his boot. ARN ROCKET LAUNCHERS EATON ON THE RAMP TO SCOTT! Rick goes for the mid-air powerslam off the double impact, but botches it for 2.5. COKE TO THE EYES OF RICK and Rick suplexes the ref and Scott gets the Tiger driver! FRANKENSTEINER ENDS IT AND THE STEINERS WIN IT! BUT IT'S A DQ. This pisses the crowd off, but Jesse does logically explain it all.

Ricky Steamboat walks from backstage while the Ninja does WACKY JAPANESE POSES. Okay, so that part doesn't work. YES. LEGALLY NOT BLACK CAT HASN'T BEEN DUBBED OVER, which is amazing really. Rude comes out and would like for all you fat, inner city sweathogs to do is STOP BOOING HIM SO HE CAN INSULT YOU MORE. I like that just being an asshole to the heel, who himself is being an asshole, makes you seem so hated here. There's more heat for Rude doing LITERALLY THE SAME PROMO HE'S DONE FOR SIX YEARS than we've seen in WWE in a decade.

 

Rude's on the good shit here because he's jacked, but trim. Super-lean. They go for a closeup shot of the US Title and of course only get it for about half a frame.  The thing that helped Rude a lot in WCW was not only figuring out the tricks to get the most out of his act - but also aging. As a pretty boy, you didn't really buy him as a badass. Aging gave him a tougher look and fit into things like Jesse talking about what a badass he was - because he looked the part in the early '90s. Rude clubs him with forearms that look destructive but don't hurt a lick. TREMENDOUS sell by Rude on an armbar.

 

 

Rude hits a great left-arm lariat AND A GORGEOUS PILEDRIVER! FIGURE 4 BY STEAMBOAT! Double-down off a leapfrog/crossbody attempt. Rude locks on a sleeper, but Steamboat gets one of his own! Rude goes up BUT GETS CROTCHED and it's tremendous.  Rude gets backdropped on his ass and takes a BASEMENT LARIAT in 1992. Steamboat goes up BUT THE NINJA HAS A CELL PHONE and Rude retains! Shockingly, THE NINJA IS PAUL E! TREMENDOUS close-up on the shot too.

Bischoff says that a wise man said that a snake is most deadly when you think it's dead...Wow. That's perhaps the best line Eric ever had on a wrestling show. Missy goes backstage and Paul E is in a ninja getup in Rude's locker room. WHAT A SNOOP! World title hype is up and Jesse talks about how Sting's been working, but Luger's been inactive and you can't replicate in-ring on a stairmaster. A ONE HOUR TIME LIMIT!? With Luger at like 290. Now that's a threat!

Sting looks great. Luger is UNGODLY HUGE. Ross gets in a great line about wondering how Luger can bulk up that much in 30 days. Ross brings up Luger's CFL and Green Bay days while Jesse says the size works against Luger. LUGER SELLS so it's WOAH time! Now here, WCW used Luger's own lack of caring about the business against him because he just let them ON HIS LAST NIGHT make his finish look like shit by having Sting do it and he just gets out no problem. Ross talks about Luger finding more singles success in wrestling than he did in a team-based sport like football.

Luger eats a German and is winded. Ross says that Luger's begging Sting to slow it down. I bet! Luger gets an inverted atomic drop and does it poorly. Luger can't even hold him up on a press slam. Jesus. He's at a 9 on the "I'm done, Gus" scale. Luger gets a Bret-style falling elbow. Slowly. Sting gets his back chops and Luger begs off and bumps on his ass and is just sweating Crisco here. Sting gets a crossbody off the top after a minor walk and brawl on the floor to win it. 

The man wins it AND THEY LET THE MOMENT BREATHE! Jesse and Ross spend THREE MINUTES talking about the future of WCW with Sting as champion as the fans want him to stay. God, it's ALMOST like Tana. ALMOST. Not quite. But God was Sting fantastic as the lead babyface.