Monday, February 18, 2013

Raw 2-18-13

Great EC PPV recap vid. JYYYOHHNNN  CEENAA's out to cut a promo. Before he can say one word, he remembers to point at the sign. I liked Cena talking about Swagger-Alberto because it made that title at least seem important for a brief moment. Punk came out and they blathered on for a bit leading to Cena making Punk-Cena for the title shot because he's an honorable guy. Cena wanted the match this week, but Punk said we'll do it next week and Cena let him so he'll have no excuses. They put over Henry killing dudes with a graphic and said he'll wrestle next. YAY! They hyped up Presidents' Day and then Sheamus called Ryback a mindless neanderthal. This rightly pissed Ryback off and it took Jericho to settle them down. He said that THEY HAVE TO SAVE WWE, which is odd since the Shield hasn't really tried to kill it in anyway. He made Jericho, Ryback, and Sheamus against the Shield tonight. Sin Cara's out to be killed by Henry. Henry looked angry, so he either breathing Henry's air, or doing so while not paying his air bill. WSS won, and then Henry held him up for a second one but Khali came down...and for some reason, Henry didn't just slam him in the nine years it took Khali to come out. Henry shoved Cara down, THEN HENRY DID THE KHALI DANCE!

Last night's DQ in the US Title match was shown instead of just showing stills, the thing was shown. No DQ match is up next between them and the Shield match is official. Cesaro beat him up with a stick, kneed him in the corner, but eventually hit his knee on the chair he wedged in the corner while teasing a shattered reams spot, and then he got sickly drop toeholded onto it throat-first and lost via figure four. Non-title match though, thank God. Then Cole shilled Zeb's Youtube page WHERE THINGS ARE LEAKED...and then shown on global TV. This is glorious. Swagger's bangs and beard make him look threatening. Dutch is so damned awesome in this role.

Bryan bickered with Kane, and he requested a match with Swagger - Bryan-Swag should rule. Kane now doesn't like snakes, which led to Orton showing up directly next to him and saying he's a pussy now. Orton said he was like Barney the Dinosaur, and then Vickie acted poorly on the phone. Heyman didn't like her since she mocked him for Punk losing. Vickie said she had an announcement that wouldn't affect his life, but would affect his career...IN WHAT WAY WOULD THAT NOT AFFECT HIS LIFE?! Ziggler's out to face someone...oh, it's just THE WORLD CHAMPION. No build to this here, although I guess it'll be based around their ME match, which also occured for no reason. Throughout this, Cole was scolded for saying Vickie used Weight Watchers and he changed it to Heyman.

Ricardo gave Alberto the longest "ALBBERRRRTOOOOO" intro yet. They showed a three-shot graphic of the WHC match last night, and these graphics have really been helpful since TLC when they started using them. I always chuckle when Cole calls Alberto THE PRIDE OF MEXICO given his loss to Cro Cop. Highlight of the pre-break part was the enzuigiri on the apron. They came back and talked about AJ's best kissers piece on WWE's site - this led to King squickily asking if he was on the list. HE IS THREE TIMES HER AGE! Dolph tapped after the armbar for the second time in a week. Match was fine, basically a shorter version of their ME one. Big E hit his finish on Alberto and  Dolph was going to cash his contract, but Ricardo stole it. AJ got it back, but the enzuigiri prevented a cash-in. The visual of Big E chasing Ricardo ruled. The Kane-Orton graphic showed that Orton is on Tout.

Barrett, who I'd forgotten was IC Champ, came out to shill the movie he's in. THE BARRETT BARRAGE IS GOING TO CONQUER HOLLYWOOD. Dead Man Down does look pretty great. Sheamus acted like a dick and insulted him for being in the movie, and then didn't give Barrett a chance to respond by "running out of time" so they could shil the figures. New Colons got new music - really good dance tune. Sweet T and Tensai are teaming with Naomi to face the Rosa and the Colons. Naomi did a bunch of awesome athletic stuff including a sweet springboard crossbody and then the Fat Guys beat the Colons with the CALL YO MAMA double splash. They showed some of the WM XXX press conference - digging the purple and gold logo. VINTAGE WCW! Zeb and Jack's state of the union address is next. YES!

Zeb ruled this, and Swagger...yelled WE THE PEOPLE a bunch. Zeb got through about two weeks of TV by talking about it being a U.S vs. Mexico deal to reclaim a nation. Loved JR pimping Mid-South during his tweet about WM XXX being in New Orleans. Loved the double leg takedown after the kick combo. Bryan actually got the No Lock on, but Swagger put his leg on the rope to break it. They stuck with the Patriot Lock name for the ankle lock from last night - huge improvement over the Patriot Act name they were using, and Swagger won decisively here. Fun match. They finally hyped up the six-man tag being the Shield's first match on Raw. The Heyman-Vickie deal is next.

Vickie announced her name and said she'd announce her new assistant - Broad Maddox! He and Vickie had a Dwight-Jim argument about assistant/assistant to the from the Office seven years ago. Vince cut a promo VIA SATELLITE talking about Heyman's EC stip. He said he'll walk to the ring next week and fight Heyman, basically making this show seem secondary to next week's show. Shield's tag match is next, after a Cena-Punk recap from earlier.  Jericho came out and Cole shilled his appearance on THE WWE APP comparing the Shield to the Nexus and he did earlier tonight. Chuckled at fans using the Shield's entrance to wave to peolple. Loved Sheamus hitting the kick on Ambrose on the apron, who then fell and did a sideways walk into the barricade. Loved Ambrose doing a running back-bump dropkick to Sheamus in the ropes before Rollins could run in with the Strong kick.

Crowd came back from the dead thanks to Ryback's FEED ME MORE lariat setup. They redid the finish from last night, but it didn't lead to a fall since the cover was delayed - great way to help Ryback there since it showed you that he COULD have kicked out if Rollins hadn't just fallen on him. Reigns crotched himself gloriously and cried loudly as a result. Loved Jericho running wild on Ambrose and then doing the triangle dropkick to Rollins on the apron. Jericho's work has been far more impressive this year than it was last. Ambrose's selling of the Walls was amzaing. Rollins's flying knee from the top during it gave the Shield the win, so now this team effort has pissed off both Ryback and Jericho. Sheamus hates the Shield, but also has his deal with Barrett going on. Really good match and basically perfect for a TV match that stands up nicely next to their PPV ones.

I got a Cougar Life ad...yeah. Kofi's out to face Sandow, whose great grandfather OSIRUS P SANDOW created the new deal. Sandow killed Kofi. Kofi's former partner in the legendary Team Black Guys came back to save Sandow. Two of Rock's co-stars in the GI Joe movie are out here again. Blonde chick looks hot. Orton came out to face Kane. They did next to nothing for a few minutes before a break. They came back and did more nothing. The crowd chanted for Daniel Bryan a ton during this. Bryan distracted Kane leading to an RKO win. This was boring. Rock's celebration is next, so that was the theoretical main event...yikes. An awesome Sheamus hype vid aired to plug SD. A school marching band did a song for the Rock. Then the drummers did some of Rock's theme. That part ruled. Rock paraded around the ring with a red velvet bag on a table in the center. Please have a new belt, please have a new belt... YES. He talked about the spinner working...8 years ago. The new belt is just the giant WWE logo belt with the Rock's brahma bulls on the side. So I guess they decided to scrap that design for the long-term and just use it short-term for the Rock. I'm guessing we'll get a new one after WM. Punk attacked and grabbed the spinner and tossed it next to him before saying he wanted the new one, staring down the Rock, and leaving. Ending was kind of hollow and the new belt is terrible.

Screens -


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